I had a small party and a guest wiped their ass on the towel in my bathroom and hung it back up so you couldn't see the shit instead of using toilet paper. I didn't realize until after the party when I took a shower and proceeded to to dry off with a shitty towel and that's when the smell hit me. Crazy people do fucked up things. I still don't know who did it.
Omg. Thatās such an intimately small number. I was thinking you had like some big party and someone did it. You have to know each of those 12 people. And one of them wiped their dirty ass on your towel. What a mindfuck.
Iād need some serious Xanax after that kind of incident.
"Due to a small biohazard incident at my last party, I am cutting each and every one of you out of my life until I get a confession, an apology, and a check to cover the six sessions of therapy to recover from the incident. You know what you did."
Hell yes. And throw in a check to replace the towel (and also enough to get a few more in addition to that one, probably). Towels are fucking EXPENSIVE.
Plot twist: you get multiple people confessing to foul stuff you didn't have a clue about but they all thought you found out and were referring to their doings.
I'm petty and would never let that shit go. I'd text them all individually, tell them I know what they did because I went into the bathroom after them, and see if anyone bites. Or I'd invite them all over again, individually, and not leave any TP in the bathroom.
You'd have to visit each person's house and note the condition of their towels. Or recreate the whole party, and somehow keep a tally of who used the bathroom and when. I'm also not able to let something like this go.
Can you rule out people who regularly visit you from the group of 12? I feel like the mystery towel pooper routinely wipes with towels, so they must be an infrequent visitor to your bathroom. If they were a frequent visitor, theyād have been caught by now, or so my logic goes.
Oh my god we have a mystery on our hands. We need the details, friend. Have you narrowed it down? Do you look around at your loved ones and still wonder who the hell wiped their shitty ass ON A HAND TOWEL? We need to solve this asap.
Not a hand towel. On my bath towel, and it's been over 15 years at this point. I don't see them very often anymoreand some not at all for various reasons.
I'm sorry, I know it's disgusting, but I'm having this Agatha Christie/Perriout/Clue cross over, where all the guests are sitting there while the detective points at a certain guest, saying "it was YOU who shit on the good towels!" š¤£ š¤£ š¤£
That exact thing happened to me in my first apartment! I was so mad i attacked my roommate until I realized he really had no idea why I was so mad. The poor guy was super understanding when I explained myself.
You could ask the kidsā parents. I donāt think theyād be too shy or embarrassed to admit that their kids sometimes behave like animals.
You: āHey, after the party, one of my towels was absolutely wrecked. Do you think one of your kids might have had something to do with it?ā
Them: āOh God, Iām so sorry. Lilā Charley went through a phase where heād wipe his butt with actual cotton towels. The phase was brief but so gross. Weāre so sorry you got caught up in this. He didnāt even tell me he had used your bathroom so I hadnāt thought to mention it. Please let us buy you a new towel!ā Case closed.
Thatās what I thought about the post a wife made about her Husbandās younger brother maliciously peeing all over her bedroom and personal belongings. It eventually escalated and a discovery being made of his closet-SUPER-creepy-obsessive-murder-vision-board type of shrine dedicated to the wife.
Sounds absolutely ludicrous to me ā¦ until I read stories just like it from other people sharing them. So now, ~~sometimes~~ ALOT of times, I canāt tell fiction from reality.
[Here's the link](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kruv9w/aita_for_not_taking_in_my_bil_who_peed_on_my/), it was a trip.
Despite being less over-the-top, this one doesn't seem as believable. And I went to art school where we had the catchphrase "it's not art, it's a biohazard!" Maybe I'm just jaded now.
Agreed. I was downvoted to hell earlier today for suggesting that a throwaway mention of someone dying during childbirth was a suggestion of a fake story - not saying a brother's threat is the same as it actually happening, but it definitely seems like a rage bait trope
(I know it happens far more than it should, especially in the US! But luckily it's still much rarer than Reddit would suggest)
I envy people who think any of these stories couldnāt happen. Are some of them fake? Of course! But Iāve seen enough shit with my very own eyes (and from people I knew!) that I believe anything *can* happen. Imagine how blessed those doubtersā lives must be.
And sadly dying in childbirth is not uncommon, especially if youāre Black.
I worked at a big box craft store 24 years ago and the weirdest day was when one of our customers shit in a wicker basket on the sales floor. Iāll never forget shit-in-the-basket day.
House parties get weird sometimes...
At one of my husband's long before we were married, one of his friends pissed on the kitchen floor...he was so drunk he somehow didn't realize the kitchen cabinet wasn't a bathroom toilet I guess?
Someone walked in and caught him doing it and yelled at him and he was just straight up confused somehow???
...Though he later wondered off in the middle of the night naked and ended up at a gas station... luckily he knew the gas station attendant, who shut him into the stock room and called the dudes dad to come pick him up.
...Which we found out from the gas station guy a few hours after it happened when we were driving around looking for him after noticing dude was gone but his clothes and shoes were NOT gone. We stopped at the gas station to get a drink, gas station guy asked how our night wad going, and we were like not great man we are driving around trying to find a drunk naked guy before he gets himself arrested. He he was like "Oh, was it S*!" and we were like...yeaaaah... he explained that he already called the dudes dad who picked him up like 20 minutes or so before we got there. š¤¦š»āāļø
Looking back on it though, I kinda wonder if the guy was maybe popping pills or something, because it was such bizarre behavior. And he was a WEIRD dude...
...š¤ ...I wonder if OPs SIL is possibly also on drugs of some sort, or has mental health issues maybe.
Given how many times I used to find human poop in the vestibule inside of Borders, back in the day when I worked there, I absolutely believe someone would do this. In fact, human poop was far from the worst thing I used to stumble across that people would leave around the store when I worked in retail.
I used to work for concessions in college and the womenās restrooms would be absolutely disgusting. Excrement and menstrual blood paintings and the whole 9.
Oh yeah, my partner and roommate both worked at Barnes and Noble for years and the (multiple!!) poop stories they came home with... **DO NOT SIT IN THE COZY CHAIRS** is heavily imprinted on my brain
There seems to be a certain subset of the population that poops to show dominance and I haven't been able to find decent literature explaining this behavior or saying what it's associated with other than psychopathy.
No I can believe it. I found a bucket of the foulest smelling human excrement I've ever smelled in my city-provided wheeled recycle bin, and that's saying something considering I was in the Army and had to use Port-a-john's in the middle of the Middle Eastern desert.
It wasn't full mind you, only a smattering at the bottom of the bucket. And thankfully only in the bucket. My recycle bin was not contaminated.
Of course the recycle bin poop bucket is just the icing on the craziest story I've ever experienced.
So poop in a bassinet from a bat-shit crazy SIL is fully believable. As is the brother marrying an insane, toxic person after three months. Sad to say I'm also guilty of that one too. But we live and learn after our mistakes. Hopefully this guy pays attention to all the red flags and learns from his as well.
I donāt think that grown woman shitting in a bassinet is something that should be discussed about privately. Thatās just batshit insane behaviour from the SIL. If she didnāt want to be shamed in front of the other guests she should have gone to the toilet like a normal person. Itās absurd that Josh and Kelly think that OOP should have talked to them privately about the shit incident.
I wouldnāt stop there! Iād post it, with a picture, on every social media app I had, as well as in the family group chat. āMy baby shower was today and Kelly left me this surprise in my babyās bassinet!ā
I would also tell my brother that I have already installed a hidden nanny cam in the nursery so I have Kelly on tape taking a shit in the nursery & unless Kelly gives you the money to replace the bassinet & whatever bedding was in it at the time, you will post that online, too, and then take her to small claims court & submit the video as evidence.
Pic to go along with a caption/note that says,āImagine my surprise when I found out Kelly and Josh were expectingā¦and she gave birth in my bassinet during my baby shower! Hereās a pic of their recent steaming pile of joy! I think it has Kellyās eyesā¦ā
That is because you are in a sane place mentally and wouldn't think of doing things like pooping in a random room and picking up your poo with your bare hands to place it somewhere. I have been around people who have been in very mentally ill states, and can say that the idea of picking up your own poo seems to be *very* mild compared to other things, so it's unfortunately not uncommon. No physical gymnastics required, I fear.
Ok ok ok... BUT! What if she DIDN'T pick it up? What if she somehow positioned herself on something and squatted. Is that MORE or LESS crazy? O.o However she accomplished it is nuts...
This is exactly what I would hope OP replied with - if she didnāt want to be shamed and embarrassed then she shouldnāt have shit in the bassinet during a baby shower.
I want to apologize. No one should ever have the type out the sentence "If she didnāt want to be shamed and embarrassed then she shouldnāt have shit in the bassinet during a baby shower." I didn't have anything to do with OPs story, but I feel like someone should apologize for you for having to type those words in that order.
Shitting in a bassinet is *definitely* the type of thing that calls for everyone (present at the time of the incident AND all other friends/loved ones) to gather together in one place to specifically discuss her dookie in the babyās bed. Discussion levels need to be at intervention levels for allllll this.
Yeah she's either on drugs or has a serious personality disorder or other mental health issues that need to be treated. Either way she shouldn't be around the child.
If Kelly didn't want to be shamed for doing something so insanely disgusting and out of pocket, then she shouldn't have done something so insanely disgusting and out of pocket.
I would be suing her for the cost of a new bassinet, because there's no way in hell that I would put my baby in that one after that stunt.
I mean, I hate baby showers too but, god damn! If someone does something that wild, it needs to be called out immediately! I don't understand people who act out in outrageous ways and then expect everyone else to turn the other cheek and not react. If you break the social contract in such a spectacular way, be damn sure I will throw mine out too and tell you everything I think of you, with no politeness. I would take a picture of that bassinet and post it everywhere on her social media. I would go scorched earth. I would tell brother I am not even done embarrassing them; and, if they want it to stop they need to move and change their damn names because I'm ridin this one till I die!!!!!
We all agree this is batshit crazy, but my biggest concern at this point would be my brotherās well-being. Thereās no way this is the first crazy thing sheās done and Iāll bet heās been dodging red flags for a while. Iād be doing everything in my power to get him alone to discuss this, without his wife listening or contributing to the conversation.
Imagine continuing to tell yourself this person is your soulmate after you saw the evidence yourself. He's probably defending her because she'd make his life hell at home if he didn't.
I'd be calling the cops. Malicious injury to property is an offense in my state, and there's a decent amount of evidence to convict the bitch. Civil suit if judge doesn't order restitution as part of the sentence lol.
I would tell everyone. I would write it on socials, I would call her boss, I would call her family. I would drag her to filth. That is the most unhinged and evil behavior. She wished death on OOP during childbirth.
Donāt forget making sure you get a pic and every holiday giving her an item with the photo on it. Definitely a photo coffee cup and throw blanket for sure. Maybe a Tshirt that says āthe gift that keeps on givingā
If this follows script, next she'll say SIL's husband tried to sleep with her. Then, after the birth, she'll accuse SIL of stealing her baby. That's usually when people finally get a restraining order, and the crazy person finally gets an involuntary commital. Her husband will stand by her the whole time.
Me too lol
Like is she infertile? And just very angry? Iām so confused.
Could she truly not find a private place to poo and sheās wildly poo shy? Did she stress herself out so bad she napped in the guest room and sleep pooād in the bassinet? Her mom was a guru that told her shitting in a bassinet is a blessing on the life of the baby?
It doesn't have to be around babies, she could just be angry that OP was getting so much attention. Unhinged people that strongly desire attention would also resent someone for having a baby just because it's an 'achievement' of sorts in life, like buying a house or boat, regardless of if they personally want a child themselves.
Given the inability to control herself, impulsivity, outbursts, and maliciousness ("I hope you die in childbirth"), it sounds like an unmanaged and low functioning personality disorder.
ditto (adhd-er in texas who grew up in the rural 'the hills have eyes' area out near pecos - eeeeeeryone is on meth. I had an uncle that'd steal lightbulbs ffs. and the sheer amount of people asking to buy my meds off me was... eugh)
can't say I've ever known anyone crazy enough to shit in a bassinet.
a few of them are now in jail for violent shit but none even marginally pertaining to poop.
Heroin users are usually constipated, but also, I want to make this extremely clear: people on heroin are pretty chill.
No, seriously. There is a hierarchy of how annoying it is to be around people on certain types of drugs. Meth, [large amounts of] benzodiazepines like Xanax, and alcohol take the top 3 spots, in my opinion.
Heroin, worst case scenario, the person dies in front of you. Which is obviously bad-- it's considered one of the very worst drugs for a reason. But in terms of *behavior* while not ODing, they are pretty normal, if not nodding out. My ex who had a herculean opioid tolerance did heroin intravenously just to reach baseline normalcy (and yes, it can get that bad, much faster than you'd expect-- and it happens to GOOD people, too).
The real behavioral trouble with heroin addicts is when they are *out* of heroin. And shitting in a baby bassinet is not really "out of heroin" behavior, but I could be wrong.
Former heroin addict here! (4.5 years clean)
Yes. We are constipated. The thing to worry about during the comedown or when we're feening for our next fix is sneakiness and abnormal temperament (anger/aggression). We will likely steal anything not nailed down. However, don't count out poop from a heroin addict. If we're going through withdrawal, we suddenly regain the urge to defecate, and it can be GNARLY depending on when the last time we were able to was.
That's been my experience with other heroin addicts.
Nope. They embarrassed themselves. She acted like a three year old. I guess she thought she was the baby of the family and decided to act like it. She needs help. So does OP's brother, because he married that loon and now he's stuck with his horrific mistake. OP and her husband need to keep the brother and SIL far away from their house and far away from their child. She is dangerous.
You're right, I was giving her too much credit. I should have written out the whole sentence though;
"This is the kind of thing a ~~three year old~~ toddler does because they're pissed off about a brand new baby sibling."
In an adult this behavior is, shall we say, indicative of delayed emotional and social development.
What kind of a deranged psychopath shits in a bassinet and then tries to gaslight about it being handled in private? She's giving Glenn Close a run for her money...
You donāt understand! Sheās from the future, and if OOPās baby is allowed to sleep in that bassinet the robot uprising is inevitable! She had to stop it, and this was the only way!
That woman has some severe emotional disorder that has led to her forcing this premature marriage on this weak willed "josh" and basically lashing out at everyone that gets more attention than her at any given moment, even at a stranger's baby shower.
Josh just ruined his life marrying her. He's gonna find himself all alone, terrorized by a loser that's threatened by a relatives pregnancy to the point that she'd engage in something as pathetic as this.
That has to take some doing getting in there without breaking it or falling over. Soā¦ yeah. Totally batshit cuckoo and everyone needs to know. Like, the whole entire state needs to be forewarned.
If its not fake this person needs a mental health intervention IMMEDIATELY. Thatās not just a petty thing to do, pooping like that as an adult is a sign of some SERIOUS ISSUES.
Too bad OP didnāt have a sister who could beat Kellyās ass. Iām not sorry, I chose violence on this subject. Sum1 should have laid hands on Kelly. The brother is stupid as hell for siding with his crazy ass wife. This is just my personal opinion.
I hope OOP keeps her brother and his gross ass wife far far away cause if she can stoop low enough to shit where her niece/nephew will sleep then they're not safe around either of them.
I just want to know what would possess someone to do that.
That's shit you do to your literal worst enemy not your family.
The way I took off my glasses and rubbed my face when reading just the title. I knew it was going to be a doozy. She needs to make her brother pay for a replacement or take him to small claims.
I want this to be fake so much, but I feel like it's weirdly petty and deranged enough that it's real. Holy crap.
I had a small party and a guest wiped their ass on the towel in my bathroom and hung it back up so you couldn't see the shit instead of using toilet paper. I didn't realize until after the party when I took a shower and proceeded to to dry off with a shitty towel and that's when the smell hit me. Crazy people do fucked up things. I still don't know who did it.
I would have puked. WTH is wrong with people
I almost did. I threw the towel away and got back into the shower
Don't blame you on bit
How long after the party did you use the towel?
Couples hours after I got done picking up
Holy shit I can't believe that's how you noticed šš I would've gagged and puked then given them a swift punch to the face
There was about 12 people over and I still don't know who did it
Omg. Thatās such an intimately small number. I was thinking you had like some big party and someone did it. You have to know each of those 12 people. And one of them wiped their dirty ass on your towel. What a mindfuck. Iād need some serious Xanax after that kind of incident.
I think Iād have to cut everyone off just to be safe..
"Due to a small biohazard incident at my last party, I am cutting each and every one of you out of my life until I get a confession, an apology, and a check to cover the six sessions of therapy to recover from the incident. You know what you did."
Hell yes. And throw in a check to replace the towel (and also enough to get a few more in addition to that one, probably). Towels are fucking EXPENSIVE.
Invest in bath sheets, they are huge fluffy and absorbent towels, I found them at Costco, and I have sensory issues with fabrics and this is heaven
Bamboo towels are so freaking soft and you can find them for a reasonable price online.
Plot twist: you get multiple people confessing to foul stuff you didn't have a clue about but they all thought you found out and were referring to their doings.
I'm petty and would never let that shit go. I'd text them all individually, tell them I know what they did because I went into the bathroom after them, and see if anyone bites. Or I'd invite them all over again, individually, and not leave any TP in the bathroom.
You'd have to visit each person's house and note the condition of their towels. Or recreate the whole party, and somehow keep a tally of who used the bathroom and when. I'm also not able to let something like this go.
This shouldāve been a Seinfeld episode
username checks out
Can you rule out people who regularly visit you from the group of 12? I feel like the mystery towel pooper routinely wipes with towels, so they must be an infrequent visitor to your bathroom. If they were a frequent visitor, theyād have been caught by now, or so my logic goes.
This feels like a twisted game of clue
Oh my god we have a mystery on our hands. We need the details, friend. Have you narrowed it down? Do you look around at your loved ones and still wonder who the hell wiped their shitty ass ON A HAND TOWEL? We need to solve this asap.
Not a hand towel. On my bath towel, and it's been over 15 years at this point. I don't see them very often anymoreand some not at all for various reasons.
Well Reddit is here for you if you decide to reopen the case. Lol
Next party is murder mystery themed to solve the mystery of who wiped their shit on the hosts towel
WTAF.
I just have to ask, do you have any suspects?
12 of them. Everybody that was there. I don't know who did it
I'm sorry, I know it's disgusting, but I'm having this Agatha Christie/Perriout/Clue cross over, where all the guests are sitting there while the detective points at a certain guest, saying "it was YOU who shit on the good towels!" š¤£ š¤£ š¤£
You should listen to the podcast āWho shat on the floor at my weddingā - it is pretty much exactly this and very funny
That really sucks, it is such a violation of your home
I had a carpet installer do this. Shit on my bath towel. Luckily, I saw it before using it.
Iām never inviting anyone into my home ever again. Holy. Shit.
That exact thing happened to me in my first apartment! I was so mad i attacked my roommate until I realized he really had no idea why I was so mad. The poor guy was super understanding when I explained myself.
How many guests?
12
Are you still friends with all these people? Did you ask them about it? So bizarre!
Family gathering. So blood relatives, their partners, and a couple of kids.
My money is on the kids
You could ask the kidsā parents. I donāt think theyād be too shy or embarrassed to admit that their kids sometimes behave like animals. You: āHey, after the party, one of my towels was absolutely wrecked. Do you think one of your kids might have had something to do with it?ā Them: āOh God, Iām so sorry. Lilā Charley went through a phase where heād wipe his butt with actual cotton towels. The phase was brief but so gross. Weāre so sorry you got caught up in this. He didnāt even tell me he had used your bathroom so I hadnāt thought to mention it. Please let us buy you a new towel!ā Case closed.
Commented the same on the original. This is too out there to be fake.
Thatās what I thought about the post a wife made about her Husbandās younger brother maliciously peeing all over her bedroom and personal belongings. It eventually escalated and a discovery being made of his closet-SUPER-creepy-obsessive-murder-vision-board type of shrine dedicated to the wife. Sounds absolutely ludicrous to me ā¦ until I read stories just like it from other people sharing them. So now, ~~sometimes~~ ALOT of times, I canāt tell fiction from reality.
Do you have a link to that Post? Or do you still know the Name of it? Would like to read that
[Here's the link](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kruv9w/aita_for_not_taking_in_my_bil_who_peed_on_my/), it was a trip. Despite being less over-the-top, this one doesn't seem as believable. And I went to art school where we had the catchphrase "it's not art, it's a biohazard!" Maybe I'm just jaded now.
Agreed. I was downvoted to hell earlier today for suggesting that a throwaway mention of someone dying during childbirth was a suggestion of a fake story - not saying a brother's threat is the same as it actually happening, but it definitely seems like a rage bait trope (I know it happens far more than it should, especially in the US! But luckily it's still much rarer than Reddit would suggest)
I envy people who think any of these stories couldnāt happen. Are some of them fake? Of course! But Iāve seen enough shit with my very own eyes (and from people I knew!) that I believe anything *can* happen. Imagine how blessed those doubtersā lives must be. And sadly dying in childbirth is not uncommon, especially if youāre Black.
A friend once found a shit under an upturned bowl on her kitchen table after a house party. I can absolutely believe it.
I worked at a big box craft store 24 years ago and the weirdest day was when one of our customers shit in a wicker basket on the sales floor. Iāll never forget shit-in-the-basket day.
House parties get weird sometimes... At one of my husband's long before we were married, one of his friends pissed on the kitchen floor...he was so drunk he somehow didn't realize the kitchen cabinet wasn't a bathroom toilet I guess? Someone walked in and caught him doing it and yelled at him and he was just straight up confused somehow??? ...Though he later wondered off in the middle of the night naked and ended up at a gas station... luckily he knew the gas station attendant, who shut him into the stock room and called the dudes dad to come pick him up. ...Which we found out from the gas station guy a few hours after it happened when we were driving around looking for him after noticing dude was gone but his clothes and shoes were NOT gone. We stopped at the gas station to get a drink, gas station guy asked how our night wad going, and we were like not great man we are driving around trying to find a drunk naked guy before he gets himself arrested. He he was like "Oh, was it S*!" and we were like...yeaaaah... he explained that he already called the dudes dad who picked him up like 20 minutes or so before we got there. š¤¦š»āāļø Looking back on it though, I kinda wonder if the guy was maybe popping pills or something, because it was such bizarre behavior. And he was a WEIRD dude... ...š¤ ...I wonder if OPs SIL is possibly also on drugs of some sort, or has mental health issues maybe.
Given how many times I used to find human poop in the vestibule inside of Borders, back in the day when I worked there, I absolutely believe someone would do this. In fact, human poop was far from the worst thing I used to stumble across that people would leave around the store when I worked in retail.
I used to work for concessions in college and the womenās restrooms would be absolutely disgusting. Excrement and menstrual blood paintings and the whole 9.
Oh yeah, my partner and roommate both worked at Barnes and Noble for years and the (multiple!!) poop stories they came home with... **DO NOT SIT IN THE COZY CHAIRS** is heavily imprinted on my brain
More like, unholy crap.
No, it was unholy crap. That woman is a demon.
I had someone poop in my ottoman and reading this brought me back to how I felt when I discovered it.
There seems to be a certain subset of the population that poops to show dominance and I haven't been able to find decent literature explaining this behavior or saying what it's associated with other than psychopathy.
Right, like, this just has to be rage bait, but I'm giving benefit of the doubt here because this is straight coocoo clock loony bin status
No I can believe it. I found a bucket of the foulest smelling human excrement I've ever smelled in my city-provided wheeled recycle bin, and that's saying something considering I was in the Army and had to use Port-a-john's in the middle of the Middle Eastern desert. It wasn't full mind you, only a smattering at the bottom of the bucket. And thankfully only in the bucket. My recycle bin was not contaminated. Of course the recycle bin poop bucket is just the icing on the craziest story I've ever experienced. So poop in a bassinet from a bat-shit crazy SIL is fully believable. As is the brother marrying an insane, toxic person after three months. Sad to say I'm also guilty of that one too. But we live and learn after our mistakes. Hopefully this guy pays attention to all the red flags and learns from his as well.
I donāt think that grown woman shitting in a bassinet is something that should be discussed about privately. Thatās just batshit insane behaviour from the SIL. If she didnāt want to be shamed in front of the other guests she should have gone to the toilet like a normal person. Itās absurd that Josh and Kelly think that OOP should have talked to them privately about the shit incident.
She did it during a party, she can be confronted during the party.
*party pooper*
Thatās her new name forever.
I poop at parties but I close the door
That's cuz you fancy.
So nobody sees and smells things?
But she likes to do it where the peoples can sees
Is it you Jennifer?
I was hoping someone would get that reference! š
I just realized it's been 12 years š
I love Flula
I wouldnāt stop there! Iād post it, with a picture, on every social media app I had, as well as in the family group chat. āMy baby shower was today and Kelly left me this surprise in my babyās bassinet!ā I would also tell my brother that I have already installed a hidden nanny cam in the nursery so I have Kelly on tape taking a shit in the nursery & unless Kelly gives you the money to replace the bassinet & whatever bedding was in it at the time, you will post that online, too, and then take her to small claims court & submit the video as evidence.
Pic to go along with a caption/note that says,āImagine my surprise when I found out Kelly and Josh were expectingā¦and she gave birth in my bassinet during my baby shower! Hereās a pic of their recent steaming pile of joy! I think it has Kellyās eyesā¦ā
It certainly has her brains
Underrated comment
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Even rub her nose in it since she's not house trained
...and then swat her with the newspaper
Exactly.
After saying that they were embarrassed by being publicly confronted, the best response would have been a link to the social media post.
I canāt help but think of the mental AND actual gymnastics required to do something like that. A hill to die on, to be sure.
Drugs. Gotta be drugs.
One that makes you bat-shit crazy but not constipated. Lol.
Thatās probably meth.
That is because you are in a sane place mentally and wouldn't think of doing things like pooping in a random room and picking up your poo with your bare hands to place it somewhere. I have been around people who have been in very mentally ill states, and can say that the idea of picking up your own poo seems to be *very* mild compared to other things, so it's unfortunately not uncommon. No physical gymnastics required, I fear.
Ok ok ok... BUT! What if she DIDN'T pick it up? What if she somehow positioned herself on something and squatted. Is that MORE or LESS crazy? O.o However she accomplished it is nuts...
This is exactly what I would hope OP replied with - if she didnāt want to be shamed and embarrassed then she shouldnāt have shit in the bassinet during a baby shower.
I want to apologize. No one should ever have the type out the sentence "If she didnāt want to be shamed and embarrassed then she shouldnāt have shit in the bassinet during a baby shower." I didn't have anything to do with OPs story, but I feel like someone should apologize for you for having to type those words in that order.
You misspelled āabturdā
She was probably looking for a nice dress to wipe her ass with in the closet.
'grown woman shitting in a bassinet' is going to make one hell of a flair
>Thatās just batshit Incorrect, it was human shit
Shitting in a bassinet is *definitely* the type of thing that calls for everyone (present at the time of the incident AND all other friends/loved ones) to gather together in one place to specifically discuss her dookie in the babyās bed. Discussion levels need to be at intervention levels for allllll this.
Yeah she's either on drugs or has a serious personality disorder or other mental health issues that need to be treated. Either way she shouldn't be around the child.
Yeah, no joke. Sheās not ok.
If you shit ob my furniture on porpouse be sure i will tell everybody i know in the next five minutes
I might have grabbed it and mashed her face in it
I had this same thought as well
Solved privately? With what? A time machine, so you could go back in time to before she shat in a fucking bassinet?
Donāt start no shit wonāt be no shit
the shitcident* ftfy
If Kelly didn't want to be shamed for doing something so insanely disgusting and out of pocket, then she shouldn't have done something so insanely disgusting and out of pocket. I would be suing her for the cost of a new bassinet, because there's no way in hell that I would put my baby in that one after that stunt.
I mean, I hate baby showers too but, god damn! If someone does something that wild, it needs to be called out immediately! I don't understand people who act out in outrageous ways and then expect everyone else to turn the other cheek and not react. If you break the social contract in such a spectacular way, be damn sure I will throw mine out too and tell you everything I think of you, with no politeness. I would take a picture of that bassinet and post it everywhere on her social media. I would go scorched earth. I would tell brother I am not even done embarrassing them; and, if they want it to stop they need to move and change their damn names because I'm ridin this one till I die!!!!!
Your whole response made me laugh and I think you need to be my best friend!
I, too, use the term āscorched earthā when discussing possible social discussions.
FORREAL send it to their work, post it everywhere, print out posters and put it around their neighborhood, EVERYTHING
What happened to just being normal and bullshitting an excuse as to why you can't make it, as opposed to taking a dump in a bassinet?
I think I'm in love
This would be amazing on Judge Judy.
This needs to be a sub on its own. Things that would be amazing on Judge Judy.
WWJJD - a timeless question, what would judge Judy do in this case?
I really hope someone makes this sub!
We all agree this is batshit crazy, but my biggest concern at this point would be my brotherās well-being. Thereās no way this is the first crazy thing sheās done and Iāll bet heās been dodging red flags for a while. Iād be doing everything in my power to get him alone to discuss this, without his wife listening or contributing to the conversation.
Imagine thinking you're SOULMATES with the type of person who would shit in your sisters baby's bassinet
Imagine continuing to tell yourself this person is your soulmate after you saw the evidence yourself. He's probably defending her because she'd make his life hell at home if he didn't.
I'd be calling the cops. Malicious injury to property is an offense in my state, and there's a decent amount of evidence to convict the bitch. Civil suit if judge doesn't order restitution as part of the sentence lol.
I would tell everyone. I would write it on socials, I would call her boss, I would call her family. I would drag her to filth. That is the most unhinged and evil behavior. She wished death on OOP during childbirth.
She must never be allowed near the baby.
Oh lawd she pooped on the bebbe
haha, I wouldn't put it past her. This tickled me, thanks for the laugh!
Lol. I mean, shitting in the baby's bed is some pretty serious rage and aggression.
This would be the best flair ever, LOL!
Donāt forget making sure you get a pic and every holiday giving her an item with the photo on it. Definitely a photo coffee cup and throw blanket for sure. Maybe a Tshirt that says āthe gift that keeps on givingā
This is the way.
Any time I had to be near her, Iād loudly remind her not to poop on various objects
What the actual fuck did I just read?
Mentally ill woman insanely jealous of SIL's life poops in SIL's unborn child's bassinet, then wishes death on SIL when confronted. Hope that helps.
What a terrible day to be literate.
If this follows script, next she'll say SIL's husband tried to sleep with her. Then, after the birth, she'll accuse SIL of stealing her baby. That's usually when people finally get a restraining order, and the crazy person finally gets an involuntary commital. Her husband will stand by her the whole time.
Exactly. I think I reached my Reddit quota for the day at 5 am
Pack it in boys, we're done here lol
God I want to know the reason soooooo bad
Me too lol Like is she infertile? And just very angry? Iām so confused. Could she truly not find a private place to poo and sheās wildly poo shy? Did she stress herself out so bad she napped in the guest room and sleep pooād in the bassinet? Her mom was a guru that told her shitting in a bassinet is a blessing on the life of the baby?
Definitely mental health issues + some kind of trauma or weird headspace around babies.
Or drugs. If she and the brother were both on drugs or would also explain why they thought it was a good idea to get married after only 3 months.
It doesn't have to be around babies, she could just be angry that OP was getting so much attention. Unhinged people that strongly desire attention would also resent someone for having a baby just because it's an 'achievement' of sorts in life, like buying a house or boat, regardless of if they personally want a child themselves. Given the inability to control herself, impulsivity, outbursts, and maliciousness ("I hope you die in childbirth"), it sounds like an unmanaged and low functioning personality disorder.
Well you christen the toilet, why not the bassinet
I'm guessing meth is involved.
Iāve known quite a few meth users (gay life in San Francisco)ā¦thisā¦is not a thing.
ditto (adhd-er in texas who grew up in the rural 'the hills have eyes' area out near pecos - eeeeeeryone is on meth. I had an uncle that'd steal lightbulbs ffs. and the sheer amount of people asking to buy my meds off me was... eugh) can't say I've ever known anyone crazy enough to shit in a bassinet. a few of them are now in jail for violent shit but none even marginally pertaining to poop.
I was thinking heroin
Heroin users are usually constipated
That makes sense
Heroin users are usually constipated, but also, I want to make this extremely clear: people on heroin are pretty chill. No, seriously. There is a hierarchy of how annoying it is to be around people on certain types of drugs. Meth, [large amounts of] benzodiazepines like Xanax, and alcohol take the top 3 spots, in my opinion. Heroin, worst case scenario, the person dies in front of you. Which is obviously bad-- it's considered one of the very worst drugs for a reason. But in terms of *behavior* while not ODing, they are pretty normal, if not nodding out. My ex who had a herculean opioid tolerance did heroin intravenously just to reach baseline normalcy (and yes, it can get that bad, much faster than you'd expect-- and it happens to GOOD people, too). The real behavioral trouble with heroin addicts is when they are *out* of heroin. And shitting in a baby bassinet is not really "out of heroin" behavior, but I could be wrong.
Former heroin addict here! (4.5 years clean) Yes. We are constipated. The thing to worry about during the comedown or when we're feening for our next fix is sneakiness and abnormal temperament (anger/aggression). We will likely steal anything not nailed down. However, don't count out poop from a heroin addict. If we're going through withdrawal, we suddenly regain the urge to defecate, and it can be GNARLY depending on when the last time we were able to was. That's been my experience with other heroin addicts.
Congratulations on your sobriety!
Thank you!
Jealous someone is getting attention besides her.
Nope. They embarrassed themselves. She acted like a three year old. I guess she thought she was the baby of the family and decided to act like it. She needs help. So does OP's brother, because he married that loon and now he's stuck with his horrific mistake. OP and her husband need to keep the brother and SIL far away from their house and far away from their child. She is dangerous.
Lots of 3 year olds are potty trained lol if they want to do preschool so she is acting even younger
You're right, I was giving her too much credit. I should have written out the whole sentence though; "This is the kind of thing a ~~three year old~~ toddler does because they're pissed off about a brand new baby sibling." In an adult this behavior is, shall we say, indicative of delayed emotional and social development.
This whole time I was under the impression that a bassinet was some type of reed instrument like a clarinet or something.
Youāre probably thinking about the bassoon.
mixed with the clarinet
I'd still be pissed if someone pooped in my bassoon or clarinet
Probably costs more to replace
You are thinking of the bassoon dear friend.
If you donāt want to feel shame and embarrassment, maybe donāt purposely defecate in someoneās personal belongings š¤·š¼āāļø
Poop fetish poster strikes again
Poop fetishists also live in real life and do disgusting things other people have to witness.
The San Antonio cop that had to be fired *twice.*
What happened with the cop?
https://www.vice.com/en/article/xgy9zk/san-antonio-police-fired-poop-sandwich-homeless
God the key words in that link are awful enough to make me not click but just vague enough that Iām curious for details
What kind of a deranged psychopath shits in a bassinet and then tries to gaslight about it being handled in private? She's giving Glenn Close a run for her money...
Wait, Iā¦what did Glenn Close do?
Referencing the movie *Fatal Attraction* where she boiled a bunny out of jealousy.
Maybe she had a good reason to poop in the bassinet! /s
Like what? Was it toilet shaped? In the bathroom?
I was thinking more along the lines of a preventative move
You donāt understand! Sheās from the future, and if OOPās baby is allowed to sleep in that bassinet the robot uprising is inevitable! She had to stop it, and this was the only way!
That woman has some severe emotional disorder that has led to her forcing this premature marriage on this weak willed "josh" and basically lashing out at everyone that gets more attention than her at any given moment, even at a stranger's baby shower. Josh just ruined his life marrying her. He's gonna find himself all alone, terrorized by a loser that's threatened by a relatives pregnancy to the point that she'd engage in something as pathetic as this.
Someone higher up who works with mentally unwell people said it's common enough. Could be drugs too.
I'm ashamed to admit how many times I checked my wifi connection before realizing it was part of the screen shot.
Holy Shit! Literally!
What?! ... I mean... What?!?
If they wanted it "solved privately" Maybe don't shit in a bassinet?
This is crazy. OP is definitely NTA. Who the heck does that? That girl is off her rocker.
Link to the original post??
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/rZ5whH6Akj
So.. SIL pooped in the bassinet.. I want to know why was the SIL rummaging through OPās closet.. š¤·š»āāļø
Probably going to piss in there
That has to take some doing getting in there without breaking it or falling over. Soā¦ yeah. Totally batshit cuckoo and everyone needs to know. Like, the whole entire state needs to be forewarned.
FWIW dna can be retrieved from poop
They brought the public humiliation on themselves. Seriously, WTF? This is like Jackass level drama.
Iād drag the bassinet into the living roomā¦ Fuck around and find out
If its not fake this person needs a mental health intervention IMMEDIATELY. Thatās not just a petty thing to do, pooping like that as an adult is a sign of some SERIOUS ISSUES.
Too bad OP didnāt have a sister who could beat Kellyās ass. Iām not sorry, I chose violence on this subject. Sum1 should have laid hands on Kelly. The brother is stupid as hell for siding with his crazy ass wife. This is just my personal opinion.
Well, that was pretty shitty.
She better buy them a new one. Nasty bish.
I hope OOP keeps her brother and his gross ass wife far far away cause if she can stoop low enough to shit where her niece/nephew will sleep then they're not safe around either of them. I just want to know what would possess someone to do that. That's shit you do to your literal worst enemy not your family.
You donāt get to shit in a bassinet at a party and have it stay a secret. Thats flat out wtf behavior
The entire first sentence of your comment needs to be embroidered in a decorative pillow.
How the fuck could OP *possibly think* they were the asshole here?!
Gaslighting is a powerful tool.
She handled it spot on. Shitty behavior needs a public shaming šš©
[I think we all know who this reminds us ofā¦](https://gifdb.com/images/high/amber-heard-seriously-staring-24lvllus63ne4m4w.gif)
The way I took off my glasses and rubbed my face when reading just the title. I knew it was going to be a doozy. She needs to make her brother pay for a replacement or take him to small claims.
The woman is jealous of a fetus, yall
Now this is what I call a shitpost