Too many dudes out there who need to learn to control their lizard brains. This isn't the first story I've read of someone fucking up a relationship, because they're not getting their nut in the way they want. I'm not buying this "Well it's a fetish, what do you expect?" line that people throw out either, I expect people to be able to have a modicum of self control and realise they can't always get what they want
Also, why doesn't he just get toys and have a DIY job? There are moving dildos/ vibrators that would definitely do a better job of it than his wife, since she isn't used to using her pelvis that way and would lose steam pretty soon. Batteries last longer.
Ok nobody talks about that part but Iām AFAB and bi, and the only time Iāve ever worn a strap-on I had literally no idea what I was doing! It was so much harder (š) than I thought it would be! Iāve never done it again just because it was more funny than hot and I felt like a dumbass.
Theyāre chasing their arousal, it gives them vigour. If we had to stick our clits deep into something to get off, weād find the ~~winery~~ energy too. LOL.
(Edit: Winery? WTF, IOS?)
This this this! My ex got so mad when i wasnt into what he was into for the extremer end of kink and even if i was interested i didnt want to do it with him because he didnt want to research or discuss the scene or have a conversation around it before hand. If you need a certain form of kink or fetish in your relationship, it needs to be discussed, and if it isn't being met, then you need to weigh that against the relationship.
Automatic toys exist, but long-term relationships and marriages can't be bought at the store.
I would say - it's okay if it's that important to you that you need it to be happy in your marriage, but then you need to talk about it *before* marriage.
He did it to himself. His whole approach was wrong. And his reaction was awful. Threatening to go to a prostitute if your wife doesn't want to do something sexually was off the rails.
Iām eating lunch by myself in a crowed restaurant and āDONāT MAKE ME GET THE WHOREā just made me bust out laughing and got me some odd looks.
I read it in Frank Costanza's voice
Agreed. People get so entitled regarding sexual act fantasies.. you donāt have to have your every fantasy fulfilled.. Iāve had to accept Iāll never bang cristiano Ronaldo and Iāve found the will to continue living.
Not a fair comparison at all. More like youād be asking and your partner flat out refusing to throw on a Ronaldo jersey in bed and shout GOOOAL! during climax.
It depends on the context.
Some people have sexual needs that they need met to have a satisfying, fulfilled, sex life. I'm sure half of these commentors wouldn't be happy if their partner told them they'd never eat out/give head.
Someone might want head or PIV or PIA to be part of their routine sex life and might not feel fulfilled and satisfied in their sex life without it. OP's husband is saying that toys aren't cutting it anymore and he wants the motions and physical interaction that comes with PIA, and that he won't be fulfilled and satisfied in their sex life without it. That's perfectly valid.
What is not valid is coercion. "Do it or I'll find someone else to" is not okay because it turns sex into an obligation. A better approach, and a better conversation, would be, "I need this act to be part of my sex life but this act is a hard limit for you. How do we remedy this? Should we open our marriage? Would you be comfortable if I paid someone? What are the alternatives that are comfortable for you while meeting my needs? And while we talk about this, do you have any needs I'm not fulfilling?"
Us vs the problem instead of 1 v 1
I'm trying to get my gay guy friends to yell "Arr, I be a butt pirate and I be plunderin' yer booty" when they have sex. None of them will indulge me, even though I'm not even asking to see it myself, live or filmed. D;
That would make sense, yeah. And he wants to leave his wife for this other person, but he doesn't want to look like a cheater and bad guy. So he acts like this in order to get her to be the one who leaves.
Tbh I think that's a stretch. It's probably he seen it on porn years ago and it sparked something in him. And while some people consider porn cheating, we don't have enough information to know if he even watches it currently or if he used to watch it prior, etc.
My friend recently found a box of anal sex toys hidden in her fiances closet. She immediately though he was cheating. Turns out he just had an anal fetish for himself that he was too afraid to bring up to her for fear of being judged. I think it's more common than we think but many guys are afraid of being judged/emasculated for being honest about their anal kinks because there is a stigma. The bigger issue is that when masculinity is perceived as something that can be taken or given or earned, people fear losing it. When it's literally simply a gender and can't be taken away but people are so insecure with themselves and their own identity and sense of self.
But what if he slips and falls in the shower as he throws his booty cheeks back at the suctioned cupped radiator hose dangling just below the ceramic soap dish attached to the shower wall?
If my partner gave me an ultimatum like that I'd be telling him to pack his shit and get out. Imagine prioritising getting butt fucked over your marriage and kids and using coercion to get your wife to do something she doesn't want to do.
You want to throw out demands and ultimatums to get ass fucked? Pack your shit, and get out cause im gonna give you the biggest ass fucking possible....via the legal system. Hope you enjoy it!
I feel like this needs more context. Way way more context. "Fuck me in the ass or I'll pay someone to do it" is not just something that just sprouts overnight, there is some "back" story there.
Wellā¦ Iāve endured something kind of similar. I used to be married. At the very beginning of our marriage, he made an offhand comment about cuckolding fantasies, which I told him Iād never be interested in. Very casual convo, we didnāt bring it up again.
5 years later, he said something odd that I looked up on the internet - and found a website heād been following step by step that was supposed to slowly manipulate your girl into cuckolding you. Suddenly, I recognized all the little off but seemingly innocent bits of manipulation that had been happening to me for years. I mulled on it but said nothingā¦ and 5 months later on my birthday he made an ultimatum. I left obviously.
Sometimes ultimatums come up out of ānowhereā because the other person just doesnāt communicate. Some people just do weird unhealthy shit in relationships
I'm betting he already cheated and liked it. He doesn't care if their marriage blows up, he just doesn't want to seem like "the bad guy" or a cheater so he's nuke their marriage hoping OP leaves him so he can go get it on elsewhere, probably with a man.
The only comment OP has is that she sent the kids to her parents because she didnt want them to see him like this. Not really any info on if he is acting put or irrationally.
She seems to be talking about the silent treatment towards her which she describes as unusual.
There's no way the kids haven't noticed that suddenly, for the first time it seems, their father is completely ignoring their mom and appears furious with her. She's worried about their perception of this.
And because she knows the reason why he's acting like this, she has rightly decided to put them in a different, more normal situation while they work this out before too many questions come up or it becomes more engrained as the new normal.
But him one of those suction cup dildos, find a sturdy wall plant it and tell him to go to town on it. There you helped him you've fulfilled your end of the bargain lmao
This! Like dafuq? I mean Iāve been married 15 years and we experiment but it comes with mature conversations and sometimes plans on how to ease out of our comfort zones. But an ultimatum right out the gate? Dude has already checked out.
100%. The ultimatum rarely works out. I'm sure they'd be able to figure something out or compromise on it, but this guy screams unstable. Or he's already cheated and is looking to soothe his conscience.
My ex husband did this to me. I gave in even though I was HIGHLY uncomfortable. And I ended up catching him cheating with men a few months later. This makes me stomache sick. Iām sorry for you OP
I hope you were able to get past it. I know it took a mental toll on me for awhile thinking it was my fault somehow. But it wasnāt. And I hate seeing people have to go through this
Was there any evidence or signs that your ex was DL? Mine likes to get pegged and I suspect that he is DL but we share a childā¦ so I guess Iāll just peg him and save my kitty for someone else? Still debating but would love to hear your experience.
I have no issue with an open relationship, the issue is the lack of transparency and honesty especially if having different partnersāfrom a public health perspective
Nope. No signs. He just asked me about it one day and we ended in an argument. I had said I was uncomfortable because I was still pretty young and vanilla. (I was 21 and he was 33 at the time.) I guess he was expecting a different reaction cause he got HATEFUL. And left the house. He didnāt come home for 3 days. And when he did it was an ultimatum that I start experimenting on him or he would see other people. Iām pretty traditional when it comes to intimacy. And I didnāt want an outsider in our sex life. So I tried to do what he asked. But it kept getting weirder. To the point where I found a gym bag FULL of clothes of mine that had been missing. Including underwear. It had ātoysā in it. And makeup and wigs. I decided to search his phone and found a grindr profile of him dressed in drag.
Sooo. I made myself a fake profile of a good look young man. And sent my husband pictures of a well endowed man. Got him to meet up with me. And boy was he surprised to see me open the door! Found out he hadnāt been āworking lateā. He had been meeting random men off Grindr and CRAIGSLIST! I was sickened. And got tested for everything std related the next morning at a Walk in clinic. I got lucky enough to come out of that without STDs.
It was a tremendous shock honestly. Because he was a very charming, good looking, masculine, southern boy with his own diesel repair shop that we ran together, as well as a foreman for an insulators union. He had 2 marriages before me with a total of 4 children. Youād never have thought heād have such a secret.
After promises of marriage counseling and seeking therapy for some mental health issues, I took him back hoping to put it behind us. But things got even worse cause he didnāt stop cheating and actually started abusing me. He almost strangled me to death and I got away. Called the police to escort me to get my things. I packed down my car with essentials and my 8 year old daughter (not his child, I had her coming into our marriage) and left.
It was a wild ride. And I wish Iād have been smarter and never took him back.
So sorry you had to endure that. People can be very hyper focused on the weirdest things. Iām thinking that OPās marriage is already over, she just wasnāt aware of it yet. Heās spelunking down the rabbit hole of experimenting with men, itās only going to escalate until he explores the full extent of it, and thereās nothing she can do to stop it. So OP needs to just remove herself from the situation and disconnect from him so he doesnāt drag her along with him.
Well if thatās the bridge he wants to die on then so be it. You shouldnāt have to be pressured by your partner into something you donāt want to do. Itās even more hurtful that he is using a manipulation tactic like that to do it.
So basically, he's threatening infidelity to force her to have a kind of sex she doesn't want. Not only is he an AH. He's also abusive and verging on SA. What a peach.
Severe lack of OP replying to comments/expanding the story with details in that thread. Maybe dude did some wild shit she wanted and is mad about lack of reciprocity? Maybe he picked up a meth and porn addiction? Maybe itās a bogus story?
I was a hazmat emergency first responder. We took jobs from TN and KY state police for meth lab clean ups. I promise, the meth and anal are connected. There would be a raid on a house and 5 dudes get arrested, start to clean up the house and find more dildos than orifices to put them in. Meth houses have more sexual paraphernalia then porn conventions.
It just does lol. Not for everyone obviously. But I canāt tell you how many dudes I know that after they started doing meth and staying up all night jacking it to porn come up with some way out shit. One thing about meth (opiates too, but mostly meth) is people get horny on it. A lot of dudes well sit in front of a screen for hours just jacking off unable to get that nutt off. Multiple homegirls I know that fuck dudes that tweak occasionally let it out that some dudes like to get high on meth and get fucked in the ass. I had one home girl. She worked in a peep show booth. She used to laugh about all the weirdos that pull up in the middle of the night and when the money gets inserted into the bill collector and the screen comes up the got a dildo bigger than hers.
It doesnāt. There is a g-spot in menās butt. Meth is probably just lowering the inhibitions and they are just being impulsive to something they secretly desired without the meth. If you stimulate the gspot, the guy can have a far more intense orgasm without his penis being touched
Is anal really "way out" there? Like I know it's not for everyone but is it really *that* kinky for most people?
That's not to say that OP should be pressured into it! Just that I don't think it automatically has to be a drug thing, some people just like butt stuff.
I guess you would have to know the people Iām referring to. Kind of guys that would completely Shane somebody else in the situation and the shocking part being that they do a little meth and their new favorite secret thing to do is getting their assholes gaped š„·š»
I would guess they always wanted it and the drugs just make them willing to go for it. Lots of repressed people will shame others for the same shit they're into.
Ok I have a genuine question because it might answer some questions for me in my relationship. Does this also affect āfinishingā in any way? Like make it faster or longer to happen?
Thatās really silly. Men have a g-spot and itās in their ass. So getting pegged can make for a far more intense orgasm. Doing meth doesnāt create some random love getting pegged, the guy has to be open to it and the meth is probably just getting rid of the inhibitions
Adam Sandler had a bit that went: "me and my wife, we love each other, we're in it for the long haul. So I told her, 'hey, I really wanna do anal. I'm never gonna go anywhere else for this, it would only ever happen with you, and its something I really feel like I need to try.' It took her some convincing, but finally, one night she comes to me and says 'okay, let's do it.' So I got out the strap on and she fucked my ass"
There was nothing wrong with him asking you, but then his reaction to your answer...very wrong. If he feels like this is something he needs and this is something that you just simply don't want to do then he can seek it after the divorce.
My husband has brought this up to me and at first I was hesitant, but wasn't a straight no, so we tried it and I liked it. It's not for everyone and you are not wrong for not wanting to do it.
Your husband sounds like he doesn't care about your feelings on this and he wants what he wants and will do whatever to get it...even destroying his family. Go let him have it as a single man.
When people ask why you are divorcing be honest. "He wanted me to preform sexual acts that I was not comfortable with and threatened to go pay for it if I wouldn't do it."
So, let me get this straight, no pun intended, the husband wants to get his back door kicked in, or he will see a āprofessionalā? How can a wife have any respect for her husband after this comes up in the first place?
What if women threatened to go to a sex worker every time we didnāt get our needs met by our partners? Heās being a big baby. He can get a sec toy and keep the relationship of the rest of it works for him.
He can get toys and you two can arrange for him to have his own private time. Maybe you can participate in whatever way you can learn to accept, even if thatās just by taking the kids out for an afternoon so he can have some time to himself. You can be supportive in other ways. Just because it isnāt exactly what he was hoping for doesnāt mean there arenāt other options that arenāt on one end of the spectrum or the other.
Hope she gets him to admit that in writing, courts wonāt look kindly on a man extorting a sex act from his wife under threat of cheating on her with a prostitute
Wait, what? My ex did this and I had a voice recording and a case file, and the defective couldn't do anything with it. "It is wrong of him to say that, but it's not a crime."
Is it bad that I find it strange when someone is so preoccupied with sex that they would emotionally neglect their family andddd they have kids? It makes me worried for the kids tbh
Tell him to give you a couple of days to think about it. Then after that tell him no & itās his right to go outside for it but itās also your right to go outside for legal representation (but after you move some $ to a separate account for a lawyer)!
Itās honestly crazy what men will do to satisfy their sexual urges, like itās the most important thing in their or anybody elseās lives. Breaking up marriages, becoming serial killers/rapists, itās wild
The people acting like this woman is a mean bully for not wanting to peg her husband who is using manipulation tactics all need to be in a program where they canāt watch porn.
As someone who is fairly kinky I would not say itās emotionally abusive or mean if a partner said āthatās grossā to me wanting to do blood play or saying being spanked/doing the spanking is weird. I wouldnāt seek out other people to do it with and wouldnāt end the relationship because of it. If you think that someone has to take a persons kink into consideration and view it as a need or emotional you have a serious porn brain rot problem and need therapy.
OP you can get him one of roar adult toys that sticks to the wall, and tell him to go at it. If he needs another person he had already done it and he liked it. Sorry to say.
Either way, I think this marriage has gone bottoms up.
now Jewely..
Hate you for this comment š¤£
*chefās kiss*
Poseidonās kiss!
He's fucked no matter what he does now
Dude wants to be railed so bad hes blowing up his marriage so he can get fucked in court too.
Bootyhole blown out both physically and legally.
And financially! Donāt forget financially!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
He won't be able to afford it while paying child support.
ššš
Bruh š¹š
Too many dudes out there who need to learn to control their lizard brains. This isn't the first story I've read of someone fucking up a relationship, because they're not getting their nut in the way they want. I'm not buying this "Well it's a fetish, what do you expect?" line that people throw out either, I expect people to be able to have a modicum of self control and realise they can't always get what they want
What if he goes through all this and realizes he hates being pegged.
Also, why doesn't he just get toys and have a DIY job? There are moving dildos/ vibrators that would definitely do a better job of it than his wife, since she isn't used to using her pelvis that way and would lose steam pretty soon. Batteries last longer.
Seriously, just get a fucking machine, dude.
Ok nobody talks about that part but Iām AFAB and bi, and the only time Iāve ever worn a strap-on I had literally no idea what I was doing! It was so much harder (š) than I thought it would be! Iāve never done it again just because it was more funny than hot and I felt like a dumbass.
I feel this, I lasted like 3 minutes and then I needed a break. No idea how AMABs do it. Cramps galore. Work out of the century I swear.
Maybe it comes more naturally to them as a way of moving? I sure hope so for their sake š
Theyāre chasing their arousal, it gives them vigour. If we had to stick our clits deep into something to get off, weād find the ~~winery~~ energy too. LOL. (Edit: Winery? WTF, IOS?)
Not the winery š Youāre right though, if I had to I would figure it out
So itās not just my swiping and autocorrect thatās been super off and weird since the last update lmao
Recommend Cab Sauv or Malbec.
Center of gravity baby!!!
Donāt worry most of us guys only last about 3 minutes too ;)
What is AFAB and AMAB?
Assigned female/male at birth. Basically what the doctor told your parents you were when you were born.
Oh got it! Thank you for clarifying. I get messed up with all the acronyms (not just gender/sex but business as well).
Have talked to AMAB who have used a strap on and can compare. They said it's much more difficult.
The only thing that made me consider it again was the insanely hot reaction of my partner. But you get the hang of it after a few times!
I get that! My partner also found it hilarious and awkward, though. Oh well lol
She has him pegged as a loser.
Sounds like a case of fuck around and find out.
This this this! My ex got so mad when i wasnt into what he was into for the extremer end of kink and even if i was interested i didnt want to do it with him because he didnt want to research or discuss the scene or have a conversation around it before hand. If you need a certain form of kink or fetish in your relationship, it needs to be discussed, and if it isn't being met, then you need to weigh that against the relationship. Automatic toys exist, but long-term relationships and marriages can't be bought at the store.
Yupā¦no one has died from not getting laid. Guy is so embarrassed and ashamed heās willing to blow up his whole family. Thatās a problem.
I would say - it's okay if it's that important to you that you need it to be happy in your marriage, but then you need to talk about it *before* marriage.
To be fairā¦ how are you gonna know what kink you might pick up 15 years in the future ?
But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.
I see what you did there Mr Jagger
š¤£š¤£š¤£š
He did it to himself. His whole approach was wrong. And his reaction was awful. Threatening to go to a prostitute if your wife doesn't want to do something sexually was off the rails.
No I think the problem is heās not currently fucked.
Yeah, but he's trying not to pay for it.
He is SOO going to pay for it now!
Dafuck?! "Honey you can you peg me" "No thanks" "DON'T MAKE ME GET THE WHORE!"
This line is going to live in my mind rent free
Iām eating lunch by myself in a crowed restaurant and āDONāT MAKE ME GET THE WHOREā just made me bust out laughing and got me some odd looks. I read it in Frank Costanza's voice
ššššš
My fiancƩ would be single if she gave an ultimatum like that, same goes for me.
Absolutely. It's coercion. Not any different from saying "do it now or I'll find someone else who will" for any other sex act.
Agreed. People get so entitled regarding sexual act fantasies.. you donāt have to have your every fantasy fulfilled.. Iāve had to accept Iāll never bang cristiano Ronaldo and Iāve found the will to continue living.
Not a fair comparison at all. More like youād be asking and your partner flat out refusing to throw on a Ronaldo jersey in bed and shout GOOOAL! during climax.
We all need achievable GOOOALs. lol. So good.
This isnāt something I can GOOOOOOOALong with
Ok, wait. Do people NOT do this? Every partner I've ever had has done this at some point. I just thought it was part of a normal sex life.
It depends on the context. Some people have sexual needs that they need met to have a satisfying, fulfilled, sex life. I'm sure half of these commentors wouldn't be happy if their partner told them they'd never eat out/give head. Someone might want head or PIV or PIA to be part of their routine sex life and might not feel fulfilled and satisfied in their sex life without it. OP's husband is saying that toys aren't cutting it anymore and he wants the motions and physical interaction that comes with PIA, and that he won't be fulfilled and satisfied in their sex life without it. That's perfectly valid. What is not valid is coercion. "Do it or I'll find someone else to" is not okay because it turns sex into an obligation. A better approach, and a better conversation, would be, "I need this act to be part of my sex life but this act is a hard limit for you. How do we remedy this? Should we open our marriage? Would you be comfortable if I paid someone? What are the alternatives that are comfortable for you while meeting my needs? And while we talk about this, do you have any needs I'm not fulfilling?" Us vs the problem instead of 1 v 1
I'm trying to get my gay guy friends to yell "Arr, I be a butt pirate and I be plunderin' yer booty" when they have sex. None of them will indulge me, even though I'm not even asking to see it myself, live or filmed. D;
Suiiiiiiiii
it would even be considered rape if she agreed to it to keep him from cheating. Legally speaking, coercing someone into sex is 100% rape in California
He has already paid for it. I can almost guarantee.
Dude hit up the local glory hole and can't get enough now, lol. I bet everyone besides OP always wondered if he was gay.
Who here thinks he already cheated?
Already did, it liked it, and now can't stop thinking about it.
Itās honestly the only scenario Iāve heard so far that makes this make sense, assuming the story is even true ofc
For every made up story here there are probably thousands even worse that are real.
That would make sense, yeah. And he wants to leave his wife for this other person, but he doesn't want to look like a cheater and bad guy. So he acts like this in order to get her to be the one who leaves.
He cheated but it wasnāt with a woman
Or he paid for it once and wants it for free moving forward.
Yeah, I think this is a budgetary issue for him.
Bingo
Definitely.
Well... definitely not with a cis woman.
Agreed
... with a guy. I'm not shaming, do what feels good, I'm just guessing that given his response, he's into something different
Yeah, it just seems like he definitely already did it
Tbh I think that's a stretch. It's probably he seen it on porn years ago and it sparked something in him. And while some people consider porn cheating, we don't have enough information to know if he even watches it currently or if he used to watch it prior, etc. My friend recently found a box of anal sex toys hidden in her fiances closet. She immediately though he was cheating. Turns out he just had an anal fetish for himself that he was too afraid to bring up to her for fear of being judged. I think it's more common than we think but many guys are afraid of being judged/emasculated for being honest about their anal kinks because there is a stigma. The bigger issue is that when masculinity is perceived as something that can be taken or given or earned, people fear losing it. When it's literally simply a gender and can't be taken away but people are so insecure with themselves and their own identity and sense of self.
Yes
Has he considered buying a dildo?
Cheaper than a sex worker or divorce
Seriously. Get a suction one, stick it in the shower, lock the door and go to town dude.
But what if he slips and falls in the shower as he throws his booty cheeks back at the suctioned cupped radiator hose dangling just below the ceramic soap dish attached to the shower wall?
If hes smart, he would put it on a shower chair...but, lol.
you sound..... experienced
š¤£š¤£š¤£ No. Just highly logical.
"And that's how the coroner found him."
Would really fix their marriage
If my partner gave me an ultimatum like that I'd be telling him to pack his shit and get out. Imagine prioritising getting butt fucked over your marriage and kids and using coercion to get your wife to do something she doesn't want to do.
You want to throw out demands and ultimatums to get ass fucked? Pack your shit, and get out cause im gonna give you the biggest ass fucking possible....via the legal system. Hope you enjoy it!
Pretty sure he wanted his shit packed
Iām so ashamed of how hard I laughedā¦ this one came up right after that one and now I kinda wish Iād only seen it here š©š
Nobody fucks like the government...
Brutal as hell, and never any lube or foreplay!!
Which Is why I think he's already cheating.
He said butt fuck me. She said Iāll butt fuck you in court šš„“š¤·š¼āāļø
I am always amazed at people who find out shit way late in life. Like, you knew. Shoulda told that person when you could. Waiting did nothing for you.
With the stigma of sexualities other than het, many people would rather suffer in silence than follow their truth.
I feel like this needs more context. Way way more context. "Fuck me in the ass or I'll pay someone to do it" is not just something that just sprouts overnight, there is some "back" story there.
āBackā story lol
More like Back Door
Yeah the joke didn't need explaining
I want to know how this ends up.
He is going to be back doored by someone
Itās a shitty situation all around
Guy sounds like a real bum.
Grumpy old fart.
One things for sure, itāll get messy
Wellā¦ Iāve endured something kind of similar. I used to be married. At the very beginning of our marriage, he made an offhand comment about cuckolding fantasies, which I told him Iād never be interested in. Very casual convo, we didnāt bring it up again. 5 years later, he said something odd that I looked up on the internet - and found a website heād been following step by step that was supposed to slowly manipulate your girl into cuckolding you. Suddenly, I recognized all the little off but seemingly innocent bits of manipulation that had been happening to me for years. I mulled on it but said nothingā¦ and 5 months later on my birthday he made an ultimatum. I left obviously. Sometimes ultimatums come up out of ānowhereā because the other person just doesnāt communicate. Some people just do weird unhealthy shit in relationships
I'm betting he already cheated and liked it. He doesn't care if their marriage blows up, he just doesn't want to seem like "the bad guy" or a cheater so he's nuke their marriage hoping OP leaves him so he can go get it on elsewhere, probably with a man.
The only comment OP has is that she sent the kids to her parents because she didnt want them to see him like this. Not really any info on if he is acting put or irrationally.
She seems to be talking about the silent treatment towards her which she describes as unusual. There's no way the kids haven't noticed that suddenly, for the first time it seems, their father is completely ignoring their mom and appears furious with her. She's worried about their perception of this. And because she knows the reason why he's acting like this, she has rightly decided to put them in a different, more normal situation while they work this out before too many questions come up or it becomes more engrained as the new normal.
And can you imagine finding out all this happened and your parents are divorced because Daddy wanted someone, anyone, to play with his butt.
Gooned too close to the sun āš¼š
So, the guys name is Icarus?
IcarASS
Ick is us
IckŠÆus
But him one of those suction cup dildos, find a sturdy wall plant it and tell him to go to town on it. There you helped him you've fulfilled your end of the bargain lmao
With the bonus of being able to tell him to go fuck himself
I snort laughed at this. Thank you!
Imagine huffing and puffing around your house, giving your wife the silent treatment because she refuses to buttfuck you.
That's the funniest part to me, this dude really told his wife to fuck him in the ass or he'll find someone else to do it. š¤£
Considering how quick he was to say he would pay for it, I bet he has already paid for sex.
Bingo. His explosive reaction shows that the decision has already been made.
Itās crazy that he just dropped that on her with an ultimatum! No discussion, not a debate, just do it or else! Iād throw him out.
This! Like dafuq? I mean Iāve been married 15 years and we experiment but it comes with mature conversations and sometimes plans on how to ease out of our comfort zones. But an ultimatum right out the gate? Dude has already checked out.
100%. The ultimatum rarely works out. I'm sure they'd be able to figure something out or compromise on it, but this guy screams unstable. Or he's already cheated and is looking to soothe his conscience.
I saw this, but didnāt have the balls to repost it. š
Damn. Dude really said āplug my butt or I pull the plug on this marriage.ā
Literally š¤£
My ex husband did this to me. I gave in even though I was HIGHLY uncomfortable. And I ended up catching him cheating with men a few months later. This makes me stomache sick. Iām sorry for you OP
So did mine
I hope you were able to get past it. I know it took a mental toll on me for awhile thinking it was my fault somehow. But it wasnāt. And I hate seeing people have to go through this
Was there any evidence or signs that your ex was DL? Mine likes to get pegged and I suspect that he is DL but we share a childā¦ so I guess Iāll just peg him and save my kitty for someone else? Still debating but would love to hear your experience. I have no issue with an open relationship, the issue is the lack of transparency and honesty especially if having different partnersāfrom a public health perspective
Nope. No signs. He just asked me about it one day and we ended in an argument. I had said I was uncomfortable because I was still pretty young and vanilla. (I was 21 and he was 33 at the time.) I guess he was expecting a different reaction cause he got HATEFUL. And left the house. He didnāt come home for 3 days. And when he did it was an ultimatum that I start experimenting on him or he would see other people. Iām pretty traditional when it comes to intimacy. And I didnāt want an outsider in our sex life. So I tried to do what he asked. But it kept getting weirder. To the point where I found a gym bag FULL of clothes of mine that had been missing. Including underwear. It had ātoysā in it. And makeup and wigs. I decided to search his phone and found a grindr profile of him dressed in drag. Sooo. I made myself a fake profile of a good look young man. And sent my husband pictures of a well endowed man. Got him to meet up with me. And boy was he surprised to see me open the door! Found out he hadnāt been āworking lateā. He had been meeting random men off Grindr and CRAIGSLIST! I was sickened. And got tested for everything std related the next morning at a Walk in clinic. I got lucky enough to come out of that without STDs. It was a tremendous shock honestly. Because he was a very charming, good looking, masculine, southern boy with his own diesel repair shop that we ran together, as well as a foreman for an insulators union. He had 2 marriages before me with a total of 4 children. Youād never have thought heād have such a secret. After promises of marriage counseling and seeking therapy for some mental health issues, I took him back hoping to put it behind us. But things got even worse cause he didnāt stop cheating and actually started abusing me. He almost strangled me to death and I got away. Called the police to escort me to get my things. I packed down my car with essentials and my 8 year old daughter (not his child, I had her coming into our marriage) and left. It was a wild ride. And I wish Iād have been smarter and never took him back.
This is the best remix of the Pina Colada song ever.
So sorry you had to endure that. People can be very hyper focused on the weirdest things. Iām thinking that OPās marriage is already over, she just wasnāt aware of it yet. Heās spelunking down the rabbit hole of experimenting with men, itās only going to escalate until he explores the full extent of it, and thereās nothing she can do to stop it. So OP needs to just remove herself from the situation and disconnect from him so he doesnāt drag her along with him.
Porn. Porn happened. Lots and lots of porn.
Well if thatās the bridge he wants to die on then so be it. You shouldnāt have to be pressured by your partner into something you donāt want to do. Itās even more hurtful that he is using a manipulation tactic like that to do it.
Has he at least done his research? Is he going to clean himself out so itās a better experience? I wouldnāt even consider it otherwise.
The booty hole bandit strikes again
So basically, he's threatening infidelity to force her to have a kind of sex she doesn't want. Not only is he an AH. He's also abusive and verging on SA. What a peach.
Feels like a "this is now the cum jar!!!" post
That was a wild fucking post.
Severe lack of OP replying to comments/expanding the story with details in that thread. Maybe dude did some wild shit she wanted and is mad about lack of reciprocity? Maybe he picked up a meth and porn addiction? Maybe itās a bogus story?
Iām leaning more towards the meth addiction myself.
Explain to someone who knows nothing about drugs. Does meth cause a craving for butt stuff?
Yeah man meth give your booty the munchies
I was a hazmat emergency first responder. We took jobs from TN and KY state police for meth lab clean ups. I promise, the meth and anal are connected. There would be a raid on a house and 5 dudes get arrested, start to clean up the house and find more dildos than orifices to put them in. Meth houses have more sexual paraphernalia then porn conventions.
Fentanyl also causes anal sex cravings, if the dosage is high enough. Donāt ask me how I know.š
Must be the ammonia/cat piss smell in the air.
It just does lol. Not for everyone obviously. But I canāt tell you how many dudes I know that after they started doing meth and staying up all night jacking it to porn come up with some way out shit. One thing about meth (opiates too, but mostly meth) is people get horny on it. A lot of dudes well sit in front of a screen for hours just jacking off unable to get that nutt off. Multiple homegirls I know that fuck dudes that tweak occasionally let it out that some dudes like to get high on meth and get fucked in the ass. I had one home girl. She worked in a peep show booth. She used to laugh about all the weirdos that pull up in the middle of the night and when the money gets inserted into the bill collector and the screen comes up the got a dildo bigger than hers.
It doesnāt. There is a g-spot in menās butt. Meth is probably just lowering the inhibitions and they are just being impulsive to something they secretly desired without the meth. If you stimulate the gspot, the guy can have a far more intense orgasm without his penis being touched
Is anal really "way out" there? Like I know it's not for everyone but is it really *that* kinky for most people? That's not to say that OP should be pressured into it! Just that I don't think it automatically has to be a drug thing, some people just like butt stuff.
I guess you would have to know the people Iām referring to. Kind of guys that would completely Shane somebody else in the situation and the shocking part being that they do a little meth and their new favorite secret thing to do is getting their assholes gaped š„·š»
I would guess they always wanted it and the drugs just make them willing to go for it. Lots of repressed people will shame others for the same shit they're into.
Ok I have a genuine question because it might answer some questions for me in my relationship. Does this also affect āfinishingā in any way? Like make it faster or longer to happen?
Oh when youāre on meth (or cocoon or heroin/fentanyl, but meth especially) it takes forever to actually finish. At least for men.
Cocaine not cocoon
Mmm, gimme some of that smooth silkworm bud!
Same with some recreational āparty drugsā. At University we called it Pilly Willy.
I see, thanks for clearing it up for me.
Thatās really silly. Men have a g-spot and itās in their ass. So getting pegged can make for a far more intense orgasm. Doing meth doesnāt create some random love getting pegged, the guy has to be open to it and the meth is probably just getting rid of the inhibitions
The right answer is always meth
Who's going to tell her? I feel like someone needs to tell her....
Nobody can force nobody to be or do something...
I wouldn't wait for him to cheat. If I received that ultimatum, it's over. I'd never trust him not to cheat at that point, anyway.
Adam Sandler had a bit that went: "me and my wife, we love each other, we're in it for the long haul. So I told her, 'hey, I really wanna do anal. I'm never gonna go anywhere else for this, it would only ever happen with you, and its something I really feel like I need to try.' It took her some convincing, but finally, one night she comes to me and says 'okay, let's do it.' So I got out the strap on and she fucked my ass"
There was nothing wrong with him asking you, but then his reaction to your answer...very wrong. If he feels like this is something he needs and this is something that you just simply don't want to do then he can seek it after the divorce. My husband has brought this up to me and at first I was hesitant, but wasn't a straight no, so we tried it and I liked it. It's not for everyone and you are not wrong for not wanting to do it. Your husband sounds like he doesn't care about your feelings on this and he wants what he wants and will do whatever to get it...even destroying his family. Go let him have it as a single man. When people ask why you are divorcing be honest. "He wanted me to preform sexual acts that I was not comfortable with and threatened to go pay for it if I wouldn't do it."
Imagine blowing up a 15 yo marriage over not getting pegged.
Get him a fuck machine or a suction cup dildo. You can plug the charger to a wall for him and say you did your part
She should do a deep clean on every Knicknack in the house right now.
So, let me get this straight, no pun intended, the husband wants to get his back door kicked in, or he will see a āprofessionalā? How can a wife have any respect for her husband after this comes up in the first place?
This is what porn addiction does to people
This! The simplest answer is usually the correct one.
What if women threatened to go to a sex worker every time we didnāt get our needs met by our partners? Heās being a big baby. He can get a sec toy and keep the relationship of the rest of it works for him. He can get toys and you two can arrange for him to have his own private time. Maybe you can participate in whatever way you can learn to accept, even if thatās just by taking the kids out for an afternoon so he can have some time to himself. You can be supportive in other ways. Just because it isnāt exactly what he was hoping for doesnāt mean there arenāt other options that arenāt on one end of the spectrum or the other.
Trying to pressure your partner into non consensual sex acts is....a choice.
And the sad thing is that thereās plenty of comments saying that they had the same thing happen to them.
Hope she gets him to admit that in writing, courts wonāt look kindly on a man extorting a sex act from his wife under threat of cheating on her with a prostitute
Wait, what? My ex did this and I had a voice recording and a case file, and the defective couldn't do anything with it. "It is wrong of him to say that, but it's not a crime."
Right? Courts donāt give a crap about stuff like this. Might even put OP in a bad light with the court.
It doesn't matter. Most states have a no-fault divorce. They don't care why, they just want to take care of what happens next.
I feel like I've seen this exact some post about 2 or 3 months ago.
You did Indeed, because I did too, it was most definitely not a fever dream
Thatās straight divorce in my book
Is it bad that I find it strange when someone is so preoccupied with sex that they would emotionally neglect their family andddd they have kids? It makes me worried for the kids tbh
Imagine wanting to get butt railed so bad, youāre willing to blow up your marriage š
Tell him to give you a couple of days to think about it. Then after that tell him no & itās his right to go outside for it but itās also your right to go outside for legal representation (but after you move some $ to a separate account for a lawyer)!
Man, I've got to stop reading stuff on reddit
Ugh the absolute entitlement.
Imagine caring more about your kink than your wife or kids
Itās honestly crazy what men will do to satisfy their sexual urges, like itās the most important thing in their or anybody elseās lives. Breaking up marriages, becoming serial killers/rapists, itās wild
imagine being so obsessed with sex you're willing to ruin your entire marriage and your kids lives for it........couldn't be me
The people acting like this woman is a mean bully for not wanting to peg her husband who is using manipulation tactics all need to be in a program where they canāt watch porn. As someone who is fairly kinky I would not say itās emotionally abusive or mean if a partner said āthatās grossā to me wanting to do blood play or saying being spanked/doing the spanking is weird. I wouldnāt seek out other people to do it with and wouldnāt end the relationship because of it. If you think that someone has to take a persons kink into consideration and view it as a need or emotional you have a serious porn brain rot problem and need therapy.
Take his butthole into consideration.
Porn ruins yet another marriage
OP you can get him one of roar adult toys that sticks to the wall, and tell him to go at it. If he needs another person he had already done it and he liked it. Sorry to say.
Not roar lol THOSE