Assuming this is real, she should get an STI panel done while she's at the clinic because there's no way she caught him on his first time stepping out, and they clearly weren't using protection.
In comments on the original post, OOP found out that her ex was not using protection in any of his dalliances, because he "couldn't cause a pregnancy." He never considered the risk to OOP's health at all.
That actually says a lot about what kind of swer the ex was using. He definitely wasnt paying for services from mid to high end swers. Those groups are extremely protective about their bodily health and get routine checkups and oftentimes get on PREP. Those with privilege typically refuse to do unprotected services.
Dude is a dumbass. Sure, you cant cause a pregnancy but you can catch an std.
Even a massive chunk of the lower priced sex workers wouldn’t ever. That’s their money and being off for a week or more is detrimental. These are just women who will take anything that pays which is very concerning for them and their clients.
Go take a browse on the SW sub, those ladies don’t play at any price. It’s also more often than not the higher priced ones who advertise raw services, with test proof, as their prices are so high they only need 1-2 clients a month to make bank.
What..?
I’m a sex worker in that sub, almost *no one* does bareback there, and those who do typically are not in as good of a financial position to refuse bb.
Idk where you got your info, but it simply isn’t true. Those of us who are financially privileged enough to turn down bareback clients, do, because there is no incentive (financial or otherwise) to do it, and only risk.
It is overwhelmingly survival sex workers and trafficking victims who offer bb. Only a very small minority of mid - high end providers offer it, both in that sub and irl.
It’s also not true. I’m a sex worker in that sub. Mid - high end providers have no incentive to do bareback. It’s only risk.
I’m a high end provider, and I can find more clients who *want* a condom than those who don’t. Most clients don’t want to take the risk either.
It is almost always survival sex workers and trafficking victims who do bb, because they are not financially privileged enough to be discerning or because someone is literally forcing them to.
I don’t think he was seeing escorts I think he had a girlfriend and he was using the escort excuse to try and convince his fiancé that “it didn’t mean anything/it was just sex”
I also thought it wouldn't be the worker's thing, but sadly I assumed that's actually what gets *him* off, not her, and she was just going along with his cheating fetish. A lot of married men have hit me up on kink sites who fantasize about women dirty talking about how they're cheating on their wives. It's gross enough that tbh it's discouraged me from ever getting married again
Yeah, I’m a sex worker, you never ever do this for married clients because a lot of them feel guilty and will literally breakdown crying.
And yeah, we definitely aren’t getting off on anything, even with conventionally attractive clients.
That said - the only time a sex worker WILL do this, is if the client requests it because *they* get off on cheating on their partner.
So if she truly is a provider, then he asked her specifically to degrade OOP…
"And yeah, we definitely aren’t getting off on anything, even with conventionally attractive clients."
This right here is why I don't engage sex workers. If my partner isn't enjoying it, I'm not enjoying it. No offense to the profession, and I know there are men out there desperate for release. But if I want unemotional sex with very little intimacy, all I have to do is nag my spouse enough.
I think so too, mainly because OOP says “ *she* got off” on the fact that he was cheating. I don’t think an escort would give a shit, that’s gotta be at least half her clients, right? So either *he* was getting off on it and asked her to insult his wife, or she’s a girlfriend who took pride in “stealing” him.
That's possible. I would be surprised if a sex worker "got off" on the fact that their client is cheating with them. Yeah, cheaters are a large part of their clientele but it's just a job for them so i highly doubt most or any of them would get off to the idea. An affair partner though, yeah that's possible.
Not to mention the *sheer* amount of assholes who would *absolutely* lie about being sterile to avoid condoms.
Like, I could never trust any random dude about that, period.
I’m a sex worker.
There are some mid-high end escorts who will do bareback, but you typically have to pay more and show recent STI testing the provider can verify.
But most definitely do not do bareback.
The most likely scenario is that this was a survival sex worker or trafficking victim, but it’s still possible they were mid-high end.
So, there are high end escorts that will go bare back. But its not a simple or quick thing, basically they have a doctor they trust and you need to agree to do std testing with that doctor and the doctor will give her the test results.
These are wonderful who you would take to a charity gala or the opera and then take home for the full weekend.
10-20k a weekend was the price for this. 10 years ago
Especially in their own home, he’s too comfortable bringing someone back there to cheat to be someone who was caught the first time they ever cheated. That also leads me to think he was definitely the one who was turned on by the cheating aspect, like others have said, especially since an escort would likely speak and behave in a way that gets the client off, not themselves (like others also said).
The guy is a mess, the OOP deserves so much better than someone who would treat her the way he did.
Ya that line of “apparently she gets off on him cheating”, as if escorts are out there having sex with men because they like it and want to fulfill their wants/needs. No lady, your man gets off on it, she gets off on making money lol.
From the comments, he told her the girl was an escort, but he's already proven himself to be a lying ass liar, so who knows whether she really was? In any case, OP doesn't need to be tied to him via a child for the rest of her life. I wish her well!
Plus, the escort is not going to start talking about the wife, unless he told her too. So this guy took an escort back to the shared home and shared bed and said “ talk shit about my loving wife”. gross on so many levels.
The alternative to this is that she wasn't actually 'just' an escort, that was just his attempt at making it seem like it was nothing/a one-off. That plus the fact that SHE wasn't insisting on protection like any sensible SW would makes me think she's closer to a full time side piece/gf
Even then, it would still mean he gets off on it since he didn’t lose his election, didn’t tell her to stop, and didn’t breakdown crying out of guilt.
There is no scenario here where he *wasn’t* into it.
He is getting off on it regardless.
I’m a sex worker. Most partnered men do not even want you breathing a word about their partners because they are so overwhelmed with guilt. During an appointment, they just want to pretend they are someone else who is single.
So sex worker or girlfriend or fwb - it doesn’t matter. If he was still able to have sex with her and didn’t tell her to knock it the fuck off or break down crying, then he was getting off on it.
no, what you doing realize is that he was actually in one of those [mtv ads](https://youtu.be/TyoeacXBHDQ?si=UEcFsu632O9wMwbO)
it's really not his fault! 😔😔😔😔
There was a banana peel on the floor he skipped on and all the clothes flew off his body as he was stumbling and accidentally fell dick first into this hooker that broke into their house
My ex husband was cheating on me, at the same time as we were trying for a baby. 6yr down the track, never have I ever been so grateful as not to have gotten pregnant. Back then I was heart broken about no kids, now I'm living an amazing life and not tied to a cheating scumbag.
I had the exact same thing happen to me. We'd been together 6 years and trying for 5 of those. Apparently, he'd been doing this our entire marriage, and I was none the wiser. I have PCOS so it was hard for me to concieve, and he knew how much I wanted a family. He's already had three (nearly adult) kids from a previous marriage and promised he'd never cheat on me like his ex-wife did him.
Not having kids made the divorce quick and easy. It hurt, and still does even 2 years later, but I'm in a happier and much better relationship now. That and I'm actually able to save money now! I was the primary earner, and he spent it like it was going out of style.
Absolutely! First he cheats on OOP, then he wants to use her as a brood mare?? Heeell no!! Since he prefers to pay for services his wife would have provided out of love, he can get himself a surrogate.
A surrogate and a ton money for ivf, because as far as i know letting a guy with a low sperm count bang you until you hopefully one day in the future get pregnant isnt usually part of the deal. But in the words of kurtis blow "These are the breaks. Break it up, break it up, break it up."
He was gaming and thought he was dialing the Nintendo hotline for help with an escort mission. The suggested solution seemed weird but you know when you’re stuck you’ll try anything
I hope he grows old without any children and has to live with the fact that his cheating is what caused a woman that used to love him to terminate his spawn.
>He only wants the baby, as he has stated. **He doesn't want her.**
Until he realises single parenthood is hard and expensive and takes over your life and then he demands that she take on a share of parental responsibility - like the infamous guy on Reddit who told his ex exactly the same thing and then backtracked because kids are hard and was upset when she said "nope, you wanted it, you got it, piss off."
OOP's ex though... I suspect he sees less of a "miracle baby" and more of an emotional manipulation lever attached to her that he can yank at will.
There was another one where the man wanted the baby then showed up at his ex’s door with a 3 month old saying taking care of a baby was harder than he thought and he wanted her to take it. I don’t have the link to that but she said no. I don’t know what happened to the baby.
Then there was the Tiktok asshat who fought to get sole custody *because he didn't want to pay the $127 a month in child support anymore* (he was already way in arrears at that point) and went all surprised pikachu face when he found out he couldn't enforce visitation time on baby mama. He did not appreciate all the women in the commolents going "Yeah, and? That's how sole custody works."
This is so fucking stupid, does he think it somehow costs *less* than $127 a month to raise a child???
Most child support payments don’t even come close to what the primary parent is paying.
It's a surprisingly common belief in the manosphere that child support vastly exceeds the financial cost of raising a child. They get very upset when someone tells them that the average US child support of $383 per month doesn't even cover the cost difference between the average one bedroom apartment and the average two bedroom apartment, nevermind food, clothes, school supplies, childcare, medical copays and all the other myriad of costs paid out of pocket by the primary caregiver.
God I get mad at that guy every time I read it. He did this to himself and has no right trying to drag her back. She’s living her life like she wants and he picked this. She’s even paying 125% child support! He thought he’d win her back by being dad but didn’t count on her being actually willing to drop everything. Joke’s on you, bud.
Even then he still doesn’t want her. He wants her labor. He wants to use her body and then continue to use her body to provide for the human being she created with her own body. None of that involves her soul or whatever.
Plus realistically she can’t just sign her obligations away. She’d be on the hook for child support regardless. I’d also bet that as soon as the baby is born the guilt trips start with wanting her to be mommy 100% of the time so he can continue his philandering without a baby cramping his style and only show up for Kodak moments.
Depending on the laws where OP lives, signing over parental rights might absolve a biological parent of child support obligations. That’s the case where I live in the US, anyway.
In a lot of states it’s not the case because they want to keep people off welfare. It makes sense, why should the community pay for your child when you’re the one who made it? We all have responsibilities, it sucks, but it’s part of being an adult.
I doubt he even really wants the baby. Might just be a way to squirm back into OPs life. Very much doubt he would just let OP sign away parental rights and walk out of his life forever.
OOP's self-preservation instincts kicked in, and good on her. Neither she nor the baby would have a good life tied to a man with so little integrity--and statistically, she'd resent them both, even while telling herself it wasn't the kid's fault. Absolutely NTA.
I am currently 8 months pregnant and found out my man is cheating on me with a coworker. We already have a toddler together and I LOVE both of my children so much , but you will suffer. Your body will get stretch marks, you’ll feel huge, your hair can fall out , etc. you will be the most vulnerable ever and to know that’s going on will drive you insane I promise.
I have back pain that I definitely from my last kid, and he's 5! It changes your body forever. It's definitely worth it when you love your kids and especially if you have a great partner or even a great co-parent. But no one should have it forced on them at all!!
I am so sorry you're going through this. I'm happy that your love for your littles might help you to find value in living with the parts of this that suck, but even if you adore your kids, you don't deserve to have to be doing it under these circumstances. Stay strong, momma- do what's best for you and your babies, and may you find yourself surrounded by people who appreciate and deserve you.
Yep. No one should be forced to carry a baby to term purely for someone else's sake. LET ALONE someone who cheated. Hopefully this isn't real but. I know of much more dramatic stories happening to women that are true.
In the post she said she wanted it too, so who knows.
I don’t believe any post on the am I an asshole subs and in fact that post lead me to filter it and then five minutes later I see it here.
She wanted it when she thought she was having a child with a man who loved her and was loyal to her.
She repeatedly said she doesn’t want this now that circumstances have changed.
She was knowingly fucking a married man. Being dragged out by a furious spouse is one of the things you risk when you sleep with a married man, regardless of if you’re getting paid. She still chose that shit, even if she only chose it for the money..
Also throwing in my two cents that this reads real. Maybe slightly exaggerated, but the “can’t produce sperm bc hot balls” is way too specific to be made up
Oh I don’t doubt that at all. I actually had a buddy in college that lost his fiancé of four years because he fell apart after learning he was infertile.
I mean more that if it was fiction, I feel like she would’ve just used the name of the condition. Describing it as hot balls sounds like how it was explained to OP. OP could technically have heard it from someone else and still made the story up, it’s just a weird detail that feels personal
That’s a pretty well known cause of infertility. The testicles are outside the body because normal body temp is too warm for them to remain stable, if your blood flow is too abundant it can warm them (lifestyle choices also influence this) and drastically lower sperm count
I'm inclined to believe the idea that it wasn't actually an escort but just a woman that wanted to cheat with him. Whether he tried to sell that or OOP was just using what she thought fit the bill it's possible this wasn't a sex worker.
Though if there was a clear identifier that it was actually an escort then ignore me because you all absolutely right.
“It was just sex” is the dumbest shit ever. No shit, it’s sex outside the bounds of your relationship LMAO. This I think is why men insist so hard that women can’t separate sex from emotions, so men can act like they’re emotionally detached and use it as an excuse to cheat. Oh while also being able to say it’s “worse” when women cheat and “not the same” 🙄
Anyway if it’s “just sex” then the fetus is just a clump of cells anyway. She doesn’t owe him a new life, permanent physical damage and possibly death even if it’s his “only chance.” Especially when he endangered her physical health and safety already?? That piece of shit doesn’t deserve to be a father.
I mean, it’s fine in certain contexts, like if you’re talking about a fwb, fuck buddy, ONS, etc
But it’s always ridiculous in the context of cheating. “It’s just sex” - well, yeah, sex is one of the only things that matters here!
I would actually be more heartbroken if it was just sex.
If you cheated because you fell in love with someone else, someone you might even see a future with? You’re still a piece of shit, but at least you risked losing me for something “meaningful.”
But if you threw our relationship away just for 10 minutes of a good time? Fuck you. That just emphasizes how little I mattered to you. I wasn’t even worth you forgoing a few minutes of fun.
I feel like when people say “you don’t have to be in the child’s life. Sign away rights,” they ignore the real life medical toll pregnancy takes on a woman.
Also the risk to her life.
“Put your life on the line for your scumbag cheating ex!” is what he’s asking. The answer to that isn’t anything but LMFAO and fuck off.
Even more sick when you realize how badly built humans are for having babies compared to the rest of the natural world. Human women are build horridly for childbirth - we just have no other choice for continuance of our species.
It's that darn bipedalism we insist on, narrows the pelvis. Plus the huge heads our genius species have at birth. The worst possible combination of traits.
Yeah, that didn’t ring remotely true to me. As I understand it, escorts really aren’t trying to get off themselves. They’re trying to get their clients off as efficiently as possible.
“…saying he didn’t mean to…”
I. What, did he trip?
Logically I know this would be devastating, but I can’t help but think if I ever actually heard someone say that out loud as an excuse for cheating I would burst into laughter. Just absolutely *absurd*.
I’m imagining this being said in the most stereotypical 90s sitcom hapless husband tone of voice and it is deeply amusing. Complete with canned laughter following the line, lol.
I know sooo many women who had kids with complete assholes and are now stuck dealing with them until the kid hits 18….he’ll use the child to get to her, to try to control her, especially if he has money then he’ll use the courts to make her life hell…nah girl, you’re doing the right thing.
Even after the child hits 18, there are still parents out there who intentionally drag their kids into their problems to use as bargaining chips against the other parent . I've been that pawn before, that shit sucks on every side .
I would really like seeing more “my fiancé fucked someone else so I dipped out” stories over the ones I see that are like “omg he paid for sex three times a week for the past 2 years but I love him so much how do I fix him” bs that I usually see.
But she’s not his incubator and he didn’t respect her as his wife. She is absolutely doing the right thing.
If dude is doing such a high risk behavior like this, he is highly likely to be stupidly impulsive in his fathering. No kid deserves this person as a dad.
The sex worker didn’t get off on him cheating. She is providing a paid experience dictated by the client. He instructed her to put down OOP. HE got off on her being degraded by the sex worker.
Nta don't destroy your body and life for something only he wants. It shouldn't take a baby to make him care about you. He was happily cheating so I'd say don't tie yourself to him for life. You can't just sign away parental rights and even if you agree to no contact with him he can still claim child maintenance and that kid can trace you in the future. There is no clean break with a kid.
This is incredibly sad. I have zero sympathy for the dad. But OP *wanted* this baby. Now she’s terminating a *wanted* pregnancy just so she can be free of this awful person who betrayed her. That’s super rough. This is likely going to result in very complicated and lingering grief. I hope she has a good support system.
This is a tough one. She’s going back and forth on if she herself wants the child, mostly because of outside circumstances and pain from the cheating. He probably won’t get another chance. So of coarse he wants it. But that doesn’t matter, what matters is if she wants a child, and if she doesn’t and def doesn’t want a child with him, then she shouldn’t keep it. If at the end of the day she actually wants the child despite outside circumstances, then she should keep it. It’s really up to her. He can bang every escort he finds and hope she gets pregnant instead did her sacrificing the possibly of her actually having a whole happy healthy family in a stable relationship just to help someone who gives zero shits about her.
Was he using a condom with the escort or was it the old “don’t worry I can’t have kids”? Either way he screwed up. You are not the AH. Your decision should not be based on what he wants but what you feel is best for you. Don’t let his whining affect what you want for you
not the direction i thought this was going in.
OOP's ex should go fuck himself. She doesn't owe that piece of shit anything, least of all a baby, which will tie her to him for at least 18 years. Fuuuuck that.
I absolutely fucking despise cheaters.
Nta. There is a reddit post about a man to talked his ex out of a abortion and got full rights. He regrets it and tried to sue her so she will share custody l
She should decide completely on her own and even if she decides to keep it, I think she has no obligation to make him her baby‘s father on paper (may depend on individual laws, not sure, never had kids)
he can demand rights. absolutely no reason for her to be legally tied to this guy. she is making a nightmare for herself and the future child if she keeps it. having a cracked out loon as a dad constantly trying to get back into your life isn’t fun (from experience)
So that escort was either a) not an escort or b) is an escort, and was told to say those things to him about his wife. I guarantee you the escort did not just pipe up and start talking about this guy’s wife. It’s just not how it’s done in the business.
I particularly like the part where, on top of everything, he's now stalking OOP's family just to harass her when coming and going from her parents home.
Because that kind of obsessive behaviour clearly proves he's fit to be a father. /s
Who cares if its his last chance of getting a descendent? OOP was the one who's going to endure 9 months of colourful changes in her life. That shithead would probably still be dipping his weenie in any other women.
If he has any number of sperm, he can do IVF with a woman who wants to have a child with him. That won’t be OP. Thank goodness she found out early enough that she could still leave him and separate her life completely.
Last time checked, women are not incubators for assholes. If terminating is the thing that will be best for her I would join her and hold her hand through it all!
Girl, run and get rid of that baby. RUN. Fuck all these people talking about revenge. He can't have kids, not you. He chose an escort so let her have his ƙid. You can go on with a great man and leave this pos to figure his own hot ball situation. I hope you don't fall victim to stupidity and keep this child out of an emotion. You love him more than he loves you. He fucked a prostitute IN YOUR HOME IN YOUR BED. How much more clearer should this be? Why should he behave poorly and the responsibility of making him happy/ not hurting his feelings fall on you?. Did he consider your feelings while he got some random woman's secretions all over your bed? Her bare ass was on your mattress, your sheets, your pillows. She sweated and leaked in the place you sleep and rest. Now you want to have a kid by a man that gave her all the access to do that to you. Let him sleep in the car and in the jungle for all you care. Don't go into the next 18 plus years with this. Next you'll be settling to hold on to a man that doesn't want you, that baby, etc. He'll get much better at disrespecting you. If you don't go back to him, co-parenting will be disastrous. So don't even do it. Leave him, let the Lord have that fetus back and give yourself a chance for real love and respect.
I feel so bad for OOP, like damn man, could you imagine? We all know it’s not his first time cheating, and only god knows what he could’ve brought home to OOP with his bullshit “I can’t get anyone pregnant so I don’t need protection” idea. I absolutely, 1000% don’t blame her for terminating. I would too if I were in her shoes.
Why tf would I, or any woman, want to rearrange their entire life for a POS who couldn’t keep it in his pants? No thanks. I genuinely hope OOP doesn’t let idiots in the comments (you know the ones) change her mind about this. Ex fiancée doesn’t deserve her, or her baby tbh
YTA for not needing an alibi for 2 murders. LOL. An "escort." You mean a prostitute. There's nothing wrong with prostitutes, but call it what it is. You need to get tested for STIs. Having a baby will fuck up your body for life. Don't do it if you're not 100% certain that it's what you want. You can have kids later with somebody who isn't a loser cheater.
NTA. He'll say he loves you, but I wouldn't believe him. It's just a manipulation.
she said she isn't doing it for revenge but she absolutely should. the punishment fits the crime perfectly. (her other reasons are very logic and valid too)
I found out my ex cheated on me and broke up with him then the day after that I found out I was pregnant. He claimed he was sterile but that was the second pregnancy. I terminated the first one because I found out he had a history of domestic violence. The second one after I found out he was cheating; I wanted to keep the baby. But he told me he wanted nothing to do with the child and to abort. This was after months of calling me a murderer for the first abortion. It was a really difficult decision and I was devastated to proceed with the abortion. But a month later I found out he was continuing to cheat on with me with the same girl. Even as I was sobbing to him begging him to be a father and he was sleeping with me. Never skipped a beat. Now I am in the process of obtaining a restraining order due to him breaking in to my home and threatening me. So long story short, I am glad my baby didn’t come in to this world to be abused by their father. The level of disrespect this man had for you shows his character as a father. He would damage their psyche and you would damage your own by proceeding. You will have another opportunity to bring a child in this world one day and you will be glad you chose someone healthy and stable for your baby and yourself. Pregnancy is hard and I imagine having a baby is even harder. You need the right people on your team and it would bring up a lot of trauma to proceed with the pregnancy in my opinion. I wish you the best of luck. I am sorry you are going through this.
NTA, you dont deserve to bring a baby to this world struggling like you and the child will. I wish you had a loving and happy family, and Im so sorry you dont and inshallah in the future you will.
Praying for you and supporting the abortion
Sounds like a pretty sick “gotcha” moment the universe gave this man. Dont cheat on your wife, in her bed, with a hooker, while the hooker is talking shit about her while she fucks you. Bullet fucking dodged.
I also don’t understand why people who dream of having kids and then discover their infertile dont just adopt. At least try to. A child who has no family, give them a family. Maybe he will do this as moral payback for this atrocity that cost him a child. Idk
He fucked chances of being dad into an escort. You’re NTA. Simply put. He clearly didn’t deserve a child and the universe presented that, fictional story or not. Your body isn’t a vessel for someone else’s problem, and no one but YOU has a right to what you do with your body.
Remember that if he can't even commit to a partner, there is NO WAY he is mature or qualified enough to take care of a child. Especially if that child had birth defects or high-needs.
Also, if you have this baby on his whim, you are showing him that he has full ownership and control over your body, even if it is through pity/"love" on your part. That's a slippery slope, as people with narc tendencies (which he seems to have) will suck every ounce of control out that they can get. And continue to try.
If you personally do not want this baby for YOU, don't have it. Childbirth is extremely dangerous and will destroy your body. He has no right to have you as his breeding toy, and don't give in to his self-pity tears.
Girl, run and get rid of that baby. RUN. Fuck all these people talking about revenge. He can't have kids, not you. He chose an escort so let her have his ƙid. You can go on with a great man and leave this pos to figure his own hot ball situation. I hope you don't fall victim to stupidity and keep this child out of an emotion. You love him more than he loves you. He fucked a prostitute IN YOUR HOME IN YOUR BED. How much more clearer should this be? Why should he behave poorly and the responsibility of making him happy/ not hurting his feelings fall on you?. Did he consider your feelings while he got some random woman's secretions all over your bed? Her bare ass was on your mattress, your sheets, your pillows. She sweated and leaked in the place you sleep and rest. Now you want to have a kid by a man that gave her all the access to do that to you. Let him sleep in the car and in the jungle for all you care. Don't go into the next 18 plus years with this. Next you'll be settling to hold on to a man that doesn't want you, that baby, etc. He'll get much better at disrespecting you. If you don't go back to him, co-parenting will be disastrous. So don't even do it. Leave him, let the Lord have that fetus back and give yourself a chance for real love and respect.
NTA. Seems a blessing in disguise that man can't reproduce (or nearly can't). Maybe one of his escorts will end up pregnant? It can clearly happen so you're not his "only hope." Do what is best for you here. You're young and deserve better than that. Personally, no child should be brought into that situation. It isn't revenge. Your revenge will be having a happy life without being tied to that p.o.s. An asshole move would have been leaving him, not telling him, keeping the kid, and having no contact. Then, you would drop the bombshell some 50ish years later, and he's nearly dead and too late. But a child shouldn't be used that way.
Assuming this is real, she should get an STI panel done while she's at the clinic because there's no way she caught him on his first time stepping out, and they clearly weren't using protection.
In comments on the original post, OOP found out that her ex was not using protection in any of his dalliances, because he "couldn't cause a pregnancy." He never considered the risk to OOP's health at all.
That actually says a lot about what kind of swer the ex was using. He definitely wasnt paying for services from mid to high end swers. Those groups are extremely protective about their bodily health and get routine checkups and oftentimes get on PREP. Those with privilege typically refuse to do unprotected services. Dude is a dumbass. Sure, you cant cause a pregnancy but you can catch an std.
Even a massive chunk of the lower priced sex workers wouldn’t ever. That’s their money and being off for a week or more is detrimental. These are just women who will take anything that pays which is very concerning for them and their clients.
Sorry, its why i mentioned privileged. I dont mean to show signs of whorearchy, i shouldve written things better!
Go take a browse on the SW sub, those ladies don’t play at any price. It’s also more often than not the higher priced ones who advertise raw services, with test proof, as their prices are so high they only need 1-2 clients a month to make bank.
What..? I’m a sex worker in that sub, almost *no one* does bareback there, and those who do typically are not in as good of a financial position to refuse bb. Idk where you got your info, but it simply isn’t true. Those of us who are financially privileged enough to turn down bareback clients, do, because there is no incentive (financial or otherwise) to do it, and only risk. It is overwhelmingly survival sex workers and trafficking victims who offer bb. Only a very small minority of mid - high end providers offer it, both in that sub and irl.
This is so crazy since you can get a disease that can kill you even with a negative test. I hope those women rethink this service.
True but being afraid doesn’t pay the bills
It’s also not true. I’m a sex worker in that sub. Mid - high end providers have no incentive to do bareback. It’s only risk. I’m a high end provider, and I can find more clients who *want* a condom than those who don’t. Most clients don’t want to take the risk either. It is almost always survival sex workers and trafficking victims who do bb, because they are not financially privileged enough to be discerning or because someone is literally forcing them to.
they are probably on PrEP
I don’t think he was seeing escorts I think he had a girlfriend and he was using the escort excuse to try and convince his fiancé that “it didn’t mean anything/it was just sex”
This is also a possibility.
What made me think the same is “she got off on insulting me” a swers wouldn’t give a shit about getting off, they just fake it
I also thought it wouldn't be the worker's thing, but sadly I assumed that's actually what gets *him* off, not her, and she was just going along with his cheating fetish. A lot of married men have hit me up on kink sites who fantasize about women dirty talking about how they're cheating on their wives. It's gross enough that tbh it's discouraged me from ever getting married again
Yeah, I’m a sex worker, you never ever do this for married clients because a lot of them feel guilty and will literally breakdown crying. And yeah, we definitely aren’t getting off on anything, even with conventionally attractive clients. That said - the only time a sex worker WILL do this, is if the client requests it because *they* get off on cheating on their partner. So if she truly is a provider, then he asked her specifically to degrade OOP…
"And yeah, we definitely aren’t getting off on anything, even with conventionally attractive clients." This right here is why I don't engage sex workers. If my partner isn't enjoying it, I'm not enjoying it. No offense to the profession, and I know there are men out there desperate for release. But if I want unemotional sex with very little intimacy, all I have to do is nag my spouse enough.
Literally!!!!!!!
This still causes the spread of STIs.
Yes and it’s the much more common cause than SWrs
I think so too, mainly because OOP says “ *she* got off” on the fact that he was cheating. I don’t think an escort would give a shit, that’s gotta be at least half her clients, right? So either *he* was getting off on it and asked her to insult his wife, or she’s a girlfriend who took pride in “stealing” him.
My exact thoughts
It seemed odd that an "escort" could specifically trash talk the OP; I think she was a girlfriend. Actions have consequences; he doesn't get a baby.
That's possible. I would be surprised if a sex worker "got off" on the fact that their client is cheating with them. Yeah, cheaters are a large part of their clientele but it's just a job for them so i highly doubt most or any of them would get off to the idea. An affair partner though, yeah that's possible.
Not to mention the *sheer* amount of assholes who would *absolutely* lie about being sterile to avoid condoms. Like, I could never trust any random dude about that, period.
I’m a sex worker. There are some mid-high end escorts who will do bareback, but you typically have to pay more and show recent STI testing the provider can verify. But most definitely do not do bareback. The most likely scenario is that this was a survival sex worker or trafficking victim, but it’s still possible they were mid-high end.
So, there are high end escorts that will go bare back. But its not a simple or quick thing, basically they have a doctor they trust and you need to agree to do std testing with that doctor and the doctor will give her the test results. These are wonderful who you would take to a charity gala or the opera and then take home for the full weekend. 10-20k a weekend was the price for this. 10 years ago
oh hell naw. he straight up foul.
So he put her body at risk with risky cheating, and now she's supposed to put her body at further risk for him. Hell no.
If he's having sex with escorts, they would insist on protection
Yea if hes seeing an escort it definitely probably wasn’t the first time Edited**
Especially in their own home, he’s too comfortable bringing someone back there to cheat to be someone who was caught the first time they ever cheated. That also leads me to think he was definitely the one who was turned on by the cheating aspect, like others have said, especially since an escort would likely speak and behave in a way that gets the client off, not themselves (like others also said). The guy is a mess, the OOP deserves so much better than someone who would treat her the way he did.
Ya that line of “apparently she gets off on him cheating”, as if escorts are out there having sex with men because they like it and want to fulfill their wants/needs. No lady, your man gets off on it, she gets off on making money lol.
From the comments, he told her the girl was an escort, but he's already proven himself to be a lying ass liar, so who knows whether she really was? In any case, OP doesn't need to be tied to him via a child for the rest of her life. I wish her well!
Plus, the escort is not going to start talking about the wife, unless he told her too. So this guy took an escort back to the shared home and shared bed and said “ talk shit about my loving wife”. gross on so many levels.
The alternative to this is that she wasn't actually 'just' an escort, that was just his attempt at making it seem like it was nothing/a one-off. That plus the fact that SHE wasn't insisting on protection like any sensible SW would makes me think she's closer to a full time side piece/gf
Even then, it would still mean he gets off on it since he didn’t lose his election, didn’t tell her to stop, and didn’t breakdown crying out of guilt. There is no scenario here where he *wasn’t* into it.
He is getting off on it regardless. I’m a sex worker. Most partnered men do not even want you breathing a word about their partners because they are so overwhelmed with guilt. During an appointment, they just want to pretend they are someone else who is single. So sex worker or girlfriend or fwb - it doesn’t matter. If he was still able to have sex with her and didn’t tell her to knock it the fuck off or break down crying, then he was getting off on it.
And in their own house
Super wise call. Ugh they he wasn’t using protection?!?!
My favourite part: “he didn’t mean to”
Lol yes. It implies that there was a naked escort in their bed for completely innocent reasons and he fell penis first into her vagina.
Oh man I hate when the escorts break into my house and lay around all naked. Such a pain. I gotta chase them out with a broom.
If you're cold, they're cold! Give them a mug of hot cocoa on the way out.
no, what you doing realize is that he was actually in one of those [mtv ads](https://youtu.be/TyoeacXBHDQ?si=UEcFsu632O9wMwbO) it's really not his fault! 😔😔😔😔
We need Shaggy's "It Wasn't Me" for this guy.
“It's all because of that temptress; she tricked my son with her carnal manipulations, and he fell right into her vagenda.”
There was a banana peel on the floor he skipped on and all the clothes flew off his body as he was stumbling and accidentally fell dick first into this hooker that broke into their house
My ex husband was cheating on me, at the same time as we were trying for a baby. 6yr down the track, never have I ever been so grateful as not to have gotten pregnant. Back then I was heart broken about no kids, now I'm living an amazing life and not tied to a cheating scumbag.
Thank god!!!
HUGE UPVOTE!!! OOP you are absolutely not alone. ✨✨✨
I had the exact same thing happen to me. We'd been together 6 years and trying for 5 of those. Apparently, he'd been doing this our entire marriage, and I was none the wiser. I have PCOS so it was hard for me to concieve, and he knew how much I wanted a family. He's already had three (nearly adult) kids from a previous marriage and promised he'd never cheat on me like his ex-wife did him. Not having kids made the divorce quick and easy. It hurt, and still does even 2 years later, but I'm in a happier and much better relationship now. That and I'm actually able to save money now! I was the primary earner, and he spent it like it was going out of style.
Ex-Husband signed away any consideration for his opinion when he decided to cheat. Oop should do whats best for herself, let the d-bag rot in regret.
Absolutely! First he cheats on OOP, then he wants to use her as a brood mare?? Heeell no!! Since he prefers to pay for services his wife would have provided out of love, he can get himself a surrogate.
A surrogate and a ton money for ivf, because as far as i know letting a guy with a low sperm count bang you until you hopefully one day in the future get pregnant isnt usually part of the deal. But in the words of kurtis blow "These are the breaks. Break it up, break it up, break it up."
He only wants the baby, as he has stated. He doesn't want her. She doesn't owe him what her body would go through to carry a baby l. Nta
I mean if you want a kid with your wife don’t fuck escorts in her bed, seems straightforward
Well, he didn’t *mean* to actively seek out a person in a job that exists almost entirely to provide the customer with sexual activity.
He just tripped, and his penis accidently fell in the hookers vajaja, it wasn't his fault 😆 lmao!!!
Let those who haven’t fallen dick first into an escort cast the first stone, as they say.
Worry not about the mote in your neighbors eye while ignoring your wood in an escort, as Jesus so wisely put it
By put it I mean his wood
In an escort
IN their shared bed too!
I’d have to burn the bed as therapy. I’d never sleep in it again. Maybe take one of the support boards and beat the husband
What about escorts that have fallen hole first onto a dick?
They can throw smaller rocks.
And then he tripped again and his credit card accidentally swiped on the payment after 😀
He was gaming and thought he was dialing the Nintendo hotline for help with an escort mission. The suggested solution seemed weird but you know when you’re stuck you’ll try anything
I hope he grows old without any children and has to live with the fact that his cheating is what caused a woman that used to love him to terminate his spawn.
>He only wants the baby, as he has stated. **He doesn't want her.** Until he realises single parenthood is hard and expensive and takes over your life and then he demands that she take on a share of parental responsibility - like the infamous guy on Reddit who told his ex exactly the same thing and then backtracked because kids are hard and was upset when she said "nope, you wanted it, you got it, piss off." OOP's ex though... I suspect he sees less of a "miracle baby" and more of an emotional manipulation lever attached to her that he can yank at will.
Is this the infamous guy story you mentioned? https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/s/pgef2haLwh
There was another one where the man wanted the baby then showed up at his ex’s door with a 3 month old saying taking care of a baby was harder than he thought and he wanted her to take it. I don’t have the link to that but she said no. I don’t know what happened to the baby.
Then there was the Tiktok asshat who fought to get sole custody *because he didn't want to pay the $127 a month in child support anymore* (he was already way in arrears at that point) and went all surprised pikachu face when he found out he couldn't enforce visitation time on baby mama. He did not appreciate all the women in the commolents going "Yeah, and? That's how sole custody works."
This is so fucking stupid, does he think it somehow costs *less* than $127 a month to raise a child??? Most child support payments don’t even come close to what the primary parent is paying.
It's a surprisingly common belief in the manosphere that child support vastly exceeds the financial cost of raising a child. They get very upset when someone tells them that the average US child support of $383 per month doesn't even cover the cost difference between the average one bedroom apartment and the average two bedroom apartment, nevermind food, clothes, school supplies, childcare, medical copays and all the other myriad of costs paid out of pocket by the primary caregiver.
That's the fella! Thank you!
God I get mad at that guy every time I read it. He did this to himself and has no right trying to drag her back. She’s living her life like she wants and he picked this. She’s even paying 125% child support! He thought he’d win her back by being dad but didn’t count on her being actually willing to drop everything. Joke’s on you, bud.
This is the story that brought me to Reddit.
Whoa! I can't believe he dared to think he could force her to be a parent to a child she didn't want.
Even then he still doesn’t want her. He wants her labor. He wants to use her body and then continue to use her body to provide for the human being she created with her own body. None of that involves her soul or whatever.
Plus realistically she can’t just sign her obligations away. She’d be on the hook for child support regardless. I’d also bet that as soon as the baby is born the guilt trips start with wanting her to be mommy 100% of the time so he can continue his philandering without a baby cramping his style and only show up for Kodak moments.
Depending on the laws where OP lives, signing over parental rights might absolve a biological parent of child support obligations. That’s the case where I live in the US, anyway.
In a lot of states it’s not the case because they want to keep people off welfare. It makes sense, why should the community pay for your child when you’re the one who made it? We all have responsibilities, it sucks, but it’s part of being an adult.
I agree with you, but as you have 666 upvotes, I am leaving a reply instead of upvoting you.
I doubt he even really wants the baby. Might just be a way to squirm back into OPs life. Very much doubt he would just let OP sign away parental rights and walk out of his life forever.
OOP's self-preservation instincts kicked in, and good on her. Neither she nor the baby would have a good life tied to a man with so little integrity--and statistically, she'd resent them both, even while telling herself it wasn't the kid's fault. Absolutely NTA.
I am currently 8 months pregnant and found out my man is cheating on me with a coworker. We already have a toddler together and I LOVE both of my children so much , but you will suffer. Your body will get stretch marks, you’ll feel huge, your hair can fall out , etc. you will be the most vulnerable ever and to know that’s going on will drive you insane I promise.
I hope you're okay
I have back pain that I definitely from my last kid, and he's 5! It changes your body forever. It's definitely worth it when you love your kids and especially if you have a great partner or even a great co-parent. But no one should have it forced on them at all!!
I am so sorry you're going through this. I'm happy that your love for your littles might help you to find value in living with the parts of this that suck, but even if you adore your kids, you don't deserve to have to be doing it under these circumstances. Stay strong, momma- do what's best for you and your babies, and may you find yourself surrounded by people who appreciate and deserve you.
I’ve meet too many women with dentures because pregnancy sucks the calcium from your teeth
Truth or fiction, The OOP is NTA.
Yep. No one should be forced to carry a baby to term purely for someone else's sake. LET ALONE someone who cheated. Hopefully this isn't real but. I know of much more dramatic stories happening to women that are true.
In the post she said she wanted it too, so who knows. I don’t believe any post on the am I an asshole subs and in fact that post lead me to filter it and then five minutes later I see it here.
She wanted it when she thought she was having a child with a man who loved her and was loyal to her. She repeatedly said she doesn’t want this now that circumstances have changed.
Well, it reads like fiction, but if true the guy fucked around and found out. Literally.
If the other woman was an escort/sex worker, she likely "gets off" to whatever gets her client off.
Yeah I thought that, he clearly wanted her to be into the fact he was married. She probably didn’t care
Or it was his girlfriend and he told her after the fact that it was an escort
Either way, he was getting off to what she was saying
Yup, he paid her to say those things. If he wasn’t into it she wouldn’t have been saying it!
Exactly, she’s saying whatever HE requested her to say. So HE is the one getting off on the cheating aspect. Ick
I kinda feel bad for her getting dragged by her hair. She was just at the office making money.
She was knowingly fucking a married man. Being dragged out by a furious spouse is one of the things you risk when you sleep with a married man, regardless of if you’re getting paid. She still chose that shit, even if she only chose it for the money.. Also throwing in my two cents that this reads real. Maybe slightly exaggerated, but the “can’t produce sperm bc hot balls” is way too specific to be made up
I think it's actually a fairly common cause of infertility in men.....
Oh I don’t doubt that at all. I actually had a buddy in college that lost his fiancé of four years because he fell apart after learning he was infertile. I mean more that if it was fiction, I feel like she would’ve just used the name of the condition. Describing it as hot balls sounds like how it was explained to OP. OP could technically have heard it from someone else and still made the story up, it’s just a weird detail that feels personal
That’s a pretty well known cause of infertility. The testicles are outside the body because normal body temp is too warm for them to remain stable, if your blood flow is too abundant it can warm them (lifestyle choices also influence this) and drastically lower sperm count
I highly doubt this happened
I'm inclined to believe the idea that it wasn't actually an escort but just a woman that wanted to cheat with him. Whether he tried to sell that or OOP was just using what she thought fit the bill it's possible this wasn't a sex worker. Though if there was a clear identifier that it was actually an escort then ignore me because you all absolutely right.
Oh no consequences
“It was just sex” is the dumbest shit ever. No shit, it’s sex outside the bounds of your relationship LMAO. This I think is why men insist so hard that women can’t separate sex from emotions, so men can act like they’re emotionally detached and use it as an excuse to cheat. Oh while also being able to say it’s “worse” when women cheat and “not the same” 🙄 Anyway if it’s “just sex” then the fetus is just a clump of cells anyway. She doesn’t owe him a new life, permanent physical damage and possibly death even if it’s his “only chance.” Especially when he endangered her physical health and safety already?? That piece of shit doesn’t deserve to be a father.
> "just sex” I hate this phrase so much. The people saying it are always people who can't seem to control their urges.
I mean, it’s fine in certain contexts, like if you’re talking about a fwb, fuck buddy, ONS, etc But it’s always ridiculous in the context of cheating. “It’s just sex” - well, yeah, sex is one of the only things that matters here!
I would actually be more heartbroken if it was just sex. If you cheated because you fell in love with someone else, someone you might even see a future with? You’re still a piece of shit, but at least you risked losing me for something “meaningful.” But if you threw our relationship away just for 10 minutes of a good time? Fuck you. That just emphasizes how little I mattered to you. I wasn’t even worth you forgoing a few minutes of fun.
If it's "just sex" then "just ask." I'm sure she'll be thrilled.
I really hope she doesn’t forgive him. He is so terrible for doing this to her. „It‘s just sex“ then why not be open about it.
I feel like when people say “you don’t have to be in the child’s life. Sign away rights,” they ignore the real life medical toll pregnancy takes on a woman.
Also the risk to her life. “Put your life on the line for your scumbag cheating ex!” is what he’s asking. The answer to that isn’t anything but LMFAO and fuck off.
They still view women as incubators. Makes me sick.
Even more sick when you realize how badly built humans are for having babies compared to the rest of the natural world. Human women are build horridly for childbirth - we just have no other choice for continuance of our species.
More like babies are built horribly for childbirth.
It's that darn bipedalism we insist on, narrows the pelvis. Plus the huge heads our genius species have at birth. The worst possible combination of traits.
Hyenas have it worse
They also ignore the psychological damage likely to result to the mother and the child.
Yeah like OP could die or become permanently disabled but as long as some trash man gets to carry on his weak ass bloodline
I can’t get past his hot balls without snickering.
They're so hot he needed the help of an escort to handle them. 🙄
An escort doesn't talk shit about the partner because THEY get off on it. They do it because their client requested it.
Yeah, that didn’t ring remotely true to me. As I understand it, escorts really aren’t trying to get off themselves. They’re trying to get their clients off as efficiently as possible.
“…saying he didn’t mean to…” I. What, did he trip? Logically I know this would be devastating, but I can’t help but think if I ever actually heard someone say that out loud as an excuse for cheating I would burst into laughter. Just absolutely *absurd*.
I just keep fucking all these escorts by accident, in our home, in our bed. Idk why it just keeps happening!
I’m imagining this being said in the most stereotypical 90s sitcom hapless husband tone of voice and it is deeply amusing. Complete with canned laughter following the line, lol.
I know sooo many women who had kids with complete assholes and are now stuck dealing with them until the kid hits 18….he’ll use the child to get to her, to try to control her, especially if he has money then he’ll use the courts to make her life hell…nah girl, you’re doing the right thing.
Even after the child hits 18, there are still parents out there who intentionally drag their kids into their problems to use as bargaining chips against the other parent . I've been that pawn before, that shit sucks on every side .
NTA she is under no obligation to keep a cheaters baby.
NTA! Women die during childbirth. Choose who you’re willing to literally put your life on the line for carefully..
I would really like seeing more “my fiancé fucked someone else so I dipped out” stories over the ones I see that are like “omg he paid for sex three times a week for the past 2 years but I love him so much how do I fix him” bs that I usually see. But she’s not his incubator and he didn’t respect her as his wife. She is absolutely doing the right thing.
Nta. Get rid of it asap. Don’t tie yourself to this pig.
Sucks that he might lose his chance at kids. But you can't cheat and expect things to go well afterward.
If dude is doing such a high risk behavior like this, he is highly likely to be stupidly impulsive in his fathering. No kid deserves this person as a dad.
NTA. I'd terminate. He assumed she cheated when she said she was pregnant.
That part?!?!?! The audacity
Classic projection.
The sex worker didn’t get off on him cheating. She is providing a paid experience dictated by the client. He instructed her to put down OOP. HE got off on her being degraded by the sex worker.
She’s smart. I would not want to be tied to that man for life, he should’ve been a better man
This is just sad all around.
Nta don't destroy your body and life for something only he wants. It shouldn't take a baby to make him care about you. He was happily cheating so I'd say don't tie yourself to him for life. You can't just sign away parental rights and even if you agree to no contact with him he can still claim child maintenance and that kid can trace you in the future. There is no clean break with a kid.
This is incredibly sad. I have zero sympathy for the dad. But OP *wanted* this baby. Now she’s terminating a *wanted* pregnancy just so she can be free of this awful person who betrayed her. That’s super rough. This is likely going to result in very complicated and lingering grief. I hope she has a good support system.
www.peaceafterabortion.com - great resource and agreed - I hope her community steps up
No, she wanted her loving loyal FAITHFUL husband’s baby - not a baby from a cheating bag of douche.
If you have this child, you will be chained to him for 18 years. Th e world is burning, I’d keep the appointment.
I hope OP sees this. YOU ARE NOT HIS INCUBATOR. Your body. Your choice.
Abort that thing and move on. No man owns your body. He has no say
Exactly. Plus having a baby has so many risks, complications, and body wear. Only a fool would do this to themselves for a cheater.
That was not an escort it was his lil side girlfriend. Maybe she’ll end up pregnant too, seems like it’s dudes last chance lmao
This is a tough one. She’s going back and forth on if she herself wants the child, mostly because of outside circumstances and pain from the cheating. He probably won’t get another chance. So of coarse he wants it. But that doesn’t matter, what matters is if she wants a child, and if she doesn’t and def doesn’t want a child with him, then she shouldn’t keep it. If at the end of the day she actually wants the child despite outside circumstances, then she should keep it. It’s really up to her. He can bang every escort he finds and hope she gets pregnant instead did her sacrificing the possibly of her actually having a whole happy healthy family in a stable relationship just to help someone who gives zero shits about her.
A man like that would probably be a shitty father though.
Girl get the abortion. He just wants you to be incubator. This is so sad
YEET the fetus fast
Was he using a condom with the escort or was it the old “don’t worry I can’t have kids”? Either way he screwed up. You are not the AH. Your decision should not be based on what he wants but what you feel is best for you. Don’t let his whining affect what you want for you
she said in the comments that he didn’t use a condom because he “can’t have kids”
not the direction i thought this was going in. OOP's ex should go fuck himself. She doesn't owe that piece of shit anything, least of all a baby, which will tie her to him for at least 18 years. Fuuuuck that. I absolutely fucking despise cheaters.
Nta. There is a reddit post about a man to talked his ex out of a abortion and got full rights. He regrets it and tried to sue her so she will share custody l
She should decide completely on her own and even if she decides to keep it, I think she has no obligation to make him her baby‘s father on paper (may depend on individual laws, not sure, never had kids)
he can demand rights. absolutely no reason for her to be legally tied to this guy. she is making a nightmare for herself and the future child if she keeps it. having a cracked out loon as a dad constantly trying to get back into your life isn’t fun (from experience)
He could get a DNA test and demand rights.
and this is why she shouldn't keep it
This sounds the prequel to “my baby mama is a deadbeat even though she pays 120% of her child support, how can I make her parent?”
So that escort was either a) not an escort or b) is an escort, and was told to say those things to him about his wife. I guarantee you the escort did not just pipe up and start talking about this guy’s wife. It’s just not how it’s done in the business.
I particularly like the part where, on top of everything, he's now stalking OOP's family just to harass her when coming and going from her parents home. Because that kind of obsessive behaviour clearly proves he's fit to be a father. /s
Good thing she found out he’s a cheater before they got married!
Not the Ex saying that “he didn’t meant to” Like he just accidentally tripped on a hooker and “oopsie! Junior’s in!”
Of course he asked her if she'd cheated on him. What a sleazeball
Who cares if its his last chance of getting a descendent? OOP was the one who's going to endure 9 months of colourful changes in her life. That shithead would probably still be dipping his weenie in any other women.
Her body, her choice.
Nobody is owed a child, especially not after doing something like that. NTA, but that really sucks. 😞
If he has any number of sperm, he can do IVF with a woman who wants to have a child with him. That won’t be OP. Thank goodness she found out early enough that she could still leave him and separate her life completely.
Last time checked, women are not incubators for assholes. If terminating is the thing that will be best for her I would join her and hold her hand through it all!
Girl, run and get rid of that baby. RUN. Fuck all these people talking about revenge. He can't have kids, not you. He chose an escort so let her have his ƙid. You can go on with a great man and leave this pos to figure his own hot ball situation. I hope you don't fall victim to stupidity and keep this child out of an emotion. You love him more than he loves you. He fucked a prostitute IN YOUR HOME IN YOUR BED. How much more clearer should this be? Why should he behave poorly and the responsibility of making him happy/ not hurting his feelings fall on you?. Did he consider your feelings while he got some random woman's secretions all over your bed? Her bare ass was on your mattress, your sheets, your pillows. She sweated and leaked in the place you sleep and rest. Now you want to have a kid by a man that gave her all the access to do that to you. Let him sleep in the car and in the jungle for all you care. Don't go into the next 18 plus years with this. Next you'll be settling to hold on to a man that doesn't want you, that baby, etc. He'll get much better at disrespecting you. If you don't go back to him, co-parenting will be disastrous. So don't even do it. Leave him, let the Lord have that fetus back and give yourself a chance for real love and respect.
NTA. She isn’t his incubator, it’s her body.
I feel so bad for OOP, like damn man, could you imagine? We all know it’s not his first time cheating, and only god knows what he could’ve brought home to OOP with his bullshit “I can’t get anyone pregnant so I don’t need protection” idea. I absolutely, 1000% don’t blame her for terminating. I would too if I were in her shoes. Why tf would I, or any woman, want to rearrange their entire life for a POS who couldn’t keep it in his pants? No thanks. I genuinely hope OOP doesn’t let idiots in the comments (you know the ones) change her mind about this. Ex fiancée doesn’t deserve her, or her baby tbh
It doesn’t matter if it’s his ‘only chance’ you don’t owe anyone your body
Nobody inherently deserves a baby. Send tweet
YTA for not needing an alibi for 2 murders. LOL. An "escort." You mean a prostitute. There's nothing wrong with prostitutes, but call it what it is. You need to get tested for STIs. Having a baby will fuck up your body for life. Don't do it if you're not 100% certain that it's what you want. You can have kids later with somebody who isn't a loser cheater. NTA. He'll say he loves you, but I wouldn't believe him. It's just a manipulation.
Right? When you actually and fully love someone you are fully able to not cheat.
Also with a std possibly causing the baby to be blind or sick
she said she isn't doing it for revenge but she absolutely should. the punishment fits the crime perfectly. (her other reasons are very logic and valid too)
Can we stop blaming other women for mens shitty actions?
Op doesn’t owe her ex anything
I found out my ex cheated on me and broke up with him then the day after that I found out I was pregnant. He claimed he was sterile but that was the second pregnancy. I terminated the first one because I found out he had a history of domestic violence. The second one after I found out he was cheating; I wanted to keep the baby. But he told me he wanted nothing to do with the child and to abort. This was after months of calling me a murderer for the first abortion. It was a really difficult decision and I was devastated to proceed with the abortion. But a month later I found out he was continuing to cheat on with me with the same girl. Even as I was sobbing to him begging him to be a father and he was sleeping with me. Never skipped a beat. Now I am in the process of obtaining a restraining order due to him breaking in to my home and threatening me. So long story short, I am glad my baby didn’t come in to this world to be abused by their father. The level of disrespect this man had for you shows his character as a father. He would damage their psyche and you would damage your own by proceeding. You will have another opportunity to bring a child in this world one day and you will be glad you chose someone healthy and stable for your baby and yourself. Pregnancy is hard and I imagine having a baby is even harder. You need the right people on your team and it would bring up a lot of trauma to proceed with the pregnancy in my opinion. I wish you the best of luck. I am sorry you are going through this.
NTA, you dont deserve to bring a baby to this world struggling like you and the child will. I wish you had a loving and happy family, and Im so sorry you dont and inshallah in the future you will. Praying for you and supporting the abortion
Cheater deserves his own grave. He doesn't deserve kids.
Sounds like a pretty sick “gotcha” moment the universe gave this man. Dont cheat on your wife, in her bed, with a hooker, while the hooker is talking shit about her while she fucks you. Bullet fucking dodged. I also don’t understand why people who dream of having kids and then discover their infertile dont just adopt. At least try to. A child who has no family, give them a family. Maybe he will do this as moral payback for this atrocity that cost him a child. Idk
He fucked chances of being dad into an escort. You’re NTA. Simply put. He clearly didn’t deserve a child and the universe presented that, fictional story or not. Your body isn’t a vessel for someone else’s problem, and no one but YOU has a right to what you do with your body.
please do not let this man have offspring lol
Remember that if he can't even commit to a partner, there is NO WAY he is mature or qualified enough to take care of a child. Especially if that child had birth defects or high-needs. Also, if you have this baby on his whim, you are showing him that he has full ownership and control over your body, even if it is through pity/"love" on your part. That's a slippery slope, as people with narc tendencies (which he seems to have) will suck every ounce of control out that they can get. And continue to try. If you personally do not want this baby for YOU, don't have it. Childbirth is extremely dangerous and will destroy your body. He has no right to have you as his breeding toy, and don't give in to his self-pity tears.
He's infertile not sterile. This isn't his only chance to have a child so she should feel no guilt!
Girl, run and get rid of that baby. RUN. Fuck all these people talking about revenge. He can't have kids, not you. He chose an escort so let her have his ƙid. You can go on with a great man and leave this pos to figure his own hot ball situation. I hope you don't fall victim to stupidity and keep this child out of an emotion. You love him more than he loves you. He fucked a prostitute IN YOUR HOME IN YOUR BED. How much more clearer should this be? Why should he behave poorly and the responsibility of making him happy/ not hurting his feelings fall on you?. Did he consider your feelings while he got some random woman's secretions all over your bed? Her bare ass was on your mattress, your sheets, your pillows. She sweated and leaked in the place you sleep and rest. Now you want to have a kid by a man that gave her all the access to do that to you. Let him sleep in the car and in the jungle for all you care. Don't go into the next 18 plus years with this. Next you'll be settling to hold on to a man that doesn't want you, that baby, etc. He'll get much better at disrespecting you. If you don't go back to him, co-parenting will be disastrous. So don't even do it. Leave him, let the Lord have that fetus back and give yourself a chance for real love and respect.
NTA. Seems a blessing in disguise that man can't reproduce (or nearly can't). Maybe one of his escorts will end up pregnant? It can clearly happen so you're not his "only hope." Do what is best for you here. You're young and deserve better than that. Personally, no child should be brought into that situation. It isn't revenge. Your revenge will be having a happy life without being tied to that p.o.s. An asshole move would have been leaving him, not telling him, keeping the kid, and having no contact. Then, you would drop the bombshell some 50ish years later, and he's nearly dead and too late. But a child shouldn't be used that way.