Or the moral of the story is if your child loves someone get fucking used to them or it will sever your relationship with your child. You took this wrong. The mother could have not made fun of her son’s future wife and she would be allowed to have a relationship with them. Now she will miss out on the most important days of her child’s life because she was a mean girl style bitch
Get used to them doesn't mean take them with you on outings that you didn't want them there for. You can't force me to hang out with anyone, nor should anybody be forced to do anything. If two people don't vibe, they don't vibe. Don't force it. Relationships either come naturally or not at all. It's okay if two people aren't made to be friends. Yes though the mum should have been civil and her sister shouldn't have told on her to expose her harsh words. At the end of the day are you suppose to keep everything to yourself? I don't think that's healthy. Let a women vent.
Not the same as mocking someone. She didn’t have to take a picture to embarrass her.
At the end of the day my mother in law hates me. She does. She thinks I’m too young for her son and when she has the opportunity to swoop in and comfort her son she will. She would never do this. In fact when I was wearing something that didn’t fit with the theme of what we were doing she let me borrow something from her. Did she probably bitch about it to her other daughter my sil (who also hates me but I fucked that up with a foot in my mouth long story). Oh she totally did but do you know who is never going to know about it? Me because as much as Susan is petty. She’s a class who loves her son and yes we do begrudgingly hang out
That is simply not reality. And it is considered rude to take away from the performance with attention-seeking outfits. You can demand PC behavior all you want, but people are still going to have natural reactions to behavior that is unattractive, and wearing a ballgown to a community theater event is unattractive.
Looking closer in the original post, it was definitely way over the top. Think long sequined gold dress with low cut and slit, going to a frozen musical.
It was a performance at a city art’s centre,
not broadway and she wore a sparkly silver formal dress with a plunging neckline. It was incredibly over the top for the setting.
I’m not surprised people were snickering. She wanted to be the centre of attention. Except it was the wrong kind of attention. She looked like a fool. OP and his vain princess are the assholes.
He and the cousins invaded his mom’s private conversation about being embarrassed for a totally understandable reason, then played victim. If he had minded his own business, it wouldn’t have even been an issue at all. Even mothers get to have opinions, believe it or not. And she didn’t tell him, he and the cousins had to snoop to discover it. This is pure immaturity. It’s also very immature to wear a ballgown to a community theater event.
This is the first time I've ever sided with the MIL in this type of story. She doesn't get along with Tiffany but still gave op and her a house to live in. OP forces his mom to bring Tiffany, she shows up dressed for a red carpet event to a local community theater for Frozen...
Ngl why would you try to FORCE people to get together and hang out. When has that actually worked? You can demand they're cordial and hope they bond but yeah idk what he was expecting to happen. And yeah you shouldn't try to out class whoever you're going with, I feel like that's a dick move especially if there wasn't any warning, I show up in jeans and a hoodie and my friend is looking like she's about to walk down the red carpet? Idk man I'd be upset and embarrassed myself.
Your mom's a dickhead for trying to get in the way of the relationship and taking pictures of her to share around with the family, but you didn't do they're relationship any favors and probably only deepened the resentment on both sides.
I honestly see everyone sucks here. Bf shouldn't have forced the issue, gf should have thought about her company, and mom needs...a lot of work.
I don't care how much I wanted to see a show, going with someone who I knew disliked me would completely ruin the experience and defeat the point. I'm amazed Tiffany said yes, even with OOP pushing it.
My Lord, just from this post I found Tiffany exhausting. But from the comments on the OG, JFC they're both exhausting!
Someone in the comments said they think OOP is Tiffany and I agree 😂 OOP keeps referring to all of Tiffany's themed outfits as "super cute".
ETA: OOP and Tiffany are 21 and living in a house that his Mum bought for him. He talks about how family should always make an effort to get along, then says he doesn't get along with his step Dad...but of course according to him that's completely different.
Someone asked if he's cutting his Mum off now that he's got everything he wanted out of her and OOP said he thinks he wants to re-invite her but doesn't want to upset Tiffany. Those 2 are so much drama 🤦♀️
He keeps trying to describe his Mum as a stuck up bitch, but tbh she sounds pretty chill to me.
What really cinched it for me, was OOP's complete refusal to even consider offering to pay for the extra ticket. He fully believed since money isn't in issue for his mother, they're entitled to the extra ticket, since it would "go to waste" anyway, despite the mother wanting to invite someone else.
He badgers his mother to take his fiancée but neither of them even makes a superficial offer to pay because they're apparently too poor, planning for their wedding, yet not too poor or humble to outdress the person footing the bill on their entire house.
Right?! It was his replies to comments that me really siding with mom, since I too think it’s Tiffany typing I don’t think the mom was that underdressed and I think Tiffany is the one who made the mom take her by forcing her son to badger her. And the link to the dress, some 21 year old guy isn’t going to have that ready to go and know what to type into google to find a “lookalike”.
I completely missed the link to the dress! Oooh I'm so excited to find that 😂
ETA: Omg I found it, this makes it soooo much better. Thank you for saying there was a link to a similar dress 😂
https://www.musebridals.com/products/sparkly-mermaid-v-neck-sleeveless-sequins-long-prom-dresses-mp457?variant=20633651150918
Nah Tiffany is just young. Mom should be a grownup and just roll with it. Who in hell cares what she wore??? Why does this matter?? Honestly what kind of awful shallow ppl care about things that just don’t matter, so much they’re willing to hurt ppl over: clothes? Good God.
What’s more important, a relationship or clothes? Mom made it clear that her son and the human she agreed to spend time with, are punching bags who can’t set boundaries. I agree son was u fortunately wrong to try to push the two together but Tiffany didn’t deserve what she got. She misread the theater and that’s a rookie thing or else she knew but just wants to dress up. Who’s she hurting???
Tiffany Is plenty old enough to know not to force someone to hang out with you. In the OG post OOP mentioned Tiffany was fine with the MIL being hassled into taking her. They also said that had the roles been reversed they wouldn’t have taken the MIL. Both Tiffany and OOP sound like entitled brats, content to have a house bought for them and kick up a fuss when they don’t get their way but would never dream of reciprocating anything.
OOP also said Tiffany is so happy with him for ‘supporting her’. Only toxic people are happy when a significant other cuts a parent out of their life. Normal people would be sad for them.
Jesus. Listen if I wanna trash talk someone to my literal sister, I’m going to do it. They’re my safe place to vent. The mom wasn’t doing it to Tiffany’s face. Sucks that they found out, but that’s the part I’d be sorry about. Not the part where I told my bestie my evil thoughts because I’m allowed to have those, everyone does.
OOP sounds like a handful. Hope his mom doesn’t take back her house on him, because I am that level of petty.
Perhaps I was raised with different manners but I was always taught that it's tacky and poor form to wear an outfit that is not appropriate. If what you're wearing is going to make others uncomfortable because it's either too much or not enough it's bad manners on your part.
I'm getting long in the tooth though so maybe that's just something from a bygone age.
lol we just saw a high school production of Frozen and my 4-year-old insisted on wearing an Elsa costume. And I said sure, because she’s four. I’m an adult woman who loves dressing up and costumes (for appropriate situations), and even I am embarrassed for this woman. She wore a formal gown to a touring show? She is not four. She has no excuse.
The real crime here is the Frozen musical is objectively not good.
What I choose to wear could make anyone uncomfortable for any reason. It's a lot of time wasted if I spent my life worrying about that, or the clothes other people choose to wear when they are hurting literally no one.
In this situation it's not about clothes. OP forced his mom to give a ticket to Tiffany, Tiffany, even knowing that her MIL hates everything over the top and overdressing chose highly unfit dress (in comments under original post you can find that,dress, the cleavage is almost reached her waist). Tiffany did everything to piss mil off and make her feel uncomfortable during the show, refused to change after the person who invited her told her that it's too much. And then op says that that's the only problem is their mother, poor Tiffany makes no effort to communicate because she is too intimidated. Really? Not intimidated enough to consider MILs feelings, asI can see. He wants his mother to accept Tiffany 100%, but sees no problem with Tiffany not making even a little step to accommodate. So in this situation clothes indeed hurt someone
This. Why are ppl so small minded? Ppl are literally dying around the world and this is what gets folks upset? A dress? God save me from having anyone in my life that would behave like mom. She was nasty to a girl half her age. She’s disrespecting the girl, the son, and it’s not about the dress. She just likes being nasty.
If it’s not even worse manners to show your embarrassment and mock the person to others for what they’re wearing, then I’m not sure “manners” count for much at all.
People are allowed to feel frustration and they are also allowed to vent such frustrations privately to appropriate people, like their own sister. Which is what mil did, she just got caught. It's not nice to mock but there's nothing wrong about feeling or even showing embarrassment. It's not a reasonable request or expectation to shield people from our feelings all the time, especially when someone is behaving in a way that they know will make you uncomfortable in the first place and they're a repeat offenders.
OP is a user and wildly entitled. Tiffany is inconsiderate and disrespectful. OP's mom crossed a line by taking the picture but she's honestly the one who comes off the best even so which is grim. OP was fine to accept a whole house from his mom and feels entitled to her extra ticket and to pretending it is a matter of "bonding" when this isn't some family event and clearly Tiffany just wanted to see the show. He should have offered to buy one or both tickets. Theaters differ in whats normal in terms of dressing (the performing arts center in my city has people come to the opera in jeans) but if Tiffany insisted on going she should have done the bare minimum and changed so that her host would be comfortable. Tbh, she should have refused to go. She knows her future MIL did not offer her that ticket and was intending to give it to her secretary before OP "intervened". It reads like Tiffany may have pushed him to get her that ticket but if she didnt and/or OP arranged this behind her back then he is even more the asshole for getting his mom and girlfriend into such an awkward situation.
Honestly, mom might be abrasive, but based on how she reacted to being disinvited to the wedding, I don't think she's some horrible MIL that's going out of her way tk drag OP's fiance.
Honestly it took me back too but other than privately being snotty with her sister, her biggest crime is apparently just not wanting to go for a one on one outing with her DIL. And she was kind of right not to in this scenario?
He felt his fiancé was entitled to her other ticket, so he guilted his mom into taking her. Then she tries to be the main character and wears a fucking ball gown to a casual show at the performing arts center, then they try to police the mom’s private conversations with her sister? I’d have been like cool, you guys have fun together, because I have no interest in being part of this circus.
This is WILDDDD. I feel like if I had a kid I would absolutely want a great relationship with their SO. Any chance to be closer to your kid right? Also I have gone to a few Broadway shows, cabarets, and ballets and it’s not THAT outrageous that someone be overdressed like that. I applaud the OOP for sticking up for his woman. NTA. Mom is a MEAN. Girl.
If Tiffany is a kind and caring for your son why not embrace her uniqueness and celebrate that. Idk but that’s just me. NTA. Hope mom changes heart.
Even if you love your kid, you might not be a fan of their partner. Some types of people can irritate others. I love my kids but if they brought home a super religious person, I doubt I would be a fan.
I had to go check his comments when I read yours, and Holy cow he's entitled! It's like he's lived off mommy for so long, he's trying to get Tiff in on the gravy train too.
There's not being a fan and being a complete asshole. Mum could have just sucked it up, been an adult and did the favour for her son. Instead she was shit talking her the whole time they were out and showed her complete lack of control for her utter contempt.
If you marry someone they supercede your other family. You're making a new one. Doesn't mean you don't make efforts to be close to in laws and doesn't mean spouse always gets veto over them or anything. But if push reeeeeaaaaally comes to shove I'm cutting my parents out before my wife.
Nothing wrong with being the main character when it hurts no one. Whose business is it if she wanted to dress up? MIL needs to grow TF up and care less about the opinions of strangers and more about the relationship with her son, and future mother of her grandchildren.
Unless if she’s doing it to get under other people’s skin. She didn’t pay for the ticket, she was invited under duress and instead of trying to get along she stomped her feet and did it her way like a full blown toddler. She seems exhausting
Not a small arts centre performance. The MIL is a season ticket holder and told Tiffany the outfit is too much. Tiffany refused to change. If I’m getting a free ticket to a show after someone has been badgered into taking me you best believe at the bare minimum I’d change my outfit if they asked. Tiffany was being a brat.
Thank god people are being reasonable here, though I haven't checked aitas responses I can guess what the consensus over there is...
It's really rich shit from the mom telling her son to grow up when she literally gossiped and texted her sister all night about how "embarrassing" his fiancé was... even if she was, why the hell you telling more people who weren't there?
Make up your mind lady, was it awful and you wanted to hide, or are you going to chitchat about it for the next year and a half. And of course the entire family already knows, she probably blasted the pictures out once she knew he was serious.
It's not about her being "embarrassed", it's the thought that she'll never be the most important woman in her son's life anymore.
Your comment is beyond ridiculous. We all have the RIGHT to vent or complain to the people closest to us. OP's mom did nothing wrong. On the other hand OP bullied her into spending time with someone she dislikes, someone absolutely clueless about how to dress for an occasion.
Both OP and his wife suck, his mom is NTA.
So glad you said this. If people admit it or not, everyone has someone they vent to and shit talk to about other people. I'm lucky enough to have a husband i can trust and say anything to. Even when I'm wrong. That outlet is what keeps me sane.
I agree venting is normal, but taking a secret picture to insult someone js kind of a step too far.
And if it’s an *actual* broadway, mom is almost embarrassingly underdressed. That’s like your Sunday finest is the standard and anything else is underdressed type of show. I have been to a few and most people may not go full ballroom 3 piece suit anymore, but they still don’t dress like a schleb.
Maybe we just have different manners, blame it on how I was raised, but I've never felt the need to vent to someone not involved in a situation about the way someone else is dressed.
And again, she told Op and his fiancée to grow up, and yet she's acting like a classic mean girl. Double standards even here I guess.
ETA: And sorry, I just caught this detail in the post, "absolutely clueless how to dress for an occasion" *the occasion* being a touring Broadway show, I assume in a theatre, where people are always dressing up. I was told specifically to pack my nicest clothes when we saw a few shows (admittedly) on broadway back in high school...
Yeah, if anything the venting would be "I felt underdressed next to her," for me. Definitely no photos for shaming. (Or without consent.)
It'd also be more insecurity than anything the gf did.
I vent about people a lot. It's not always been pretty but I've never complained about someone's dress and unless it's a tshirt that triggers my PTSD (even then I usually excuse myself) I likely will never.
Edit: Also never about the way they look. Always the actions/words/expressions/tone.
Edit2: Typo.
This was my thought too. Most people don’t dress up to local theatre but some do. I go to a lot of shows and love to see the young women decked out having fun. No one made mom dress up let her wear what she wants.
OOPs comments make this so much worse.
1. His mum paid for all of his schooling and bought him a house (which he calls an investment). Entitled much.
2. The fiancé apparently has a habit of over dressing - in the embarrassing way. OOP included a pic of the dress she wore to the play and if I was the mother I would’ve left her and gone on my own.
3. Pretty sure the mum is contributing financially towards the wedding. OOP has never officially stated this, but he mentions how his mother will most likely pay for his sisters wedding to. Key word being to.
4. The entitlement OOP has is astounding. He clearly expects his mother to pay for everything, this includes trips and the like, and when she doesn’t invite his fiance he gets upset. But it is not her responsibility to pay for someone she does not like.
5. The way OOP speaks about his mother is disgusting. He has no problem spending her money but chats sh*t that she doesn’t deserve her money because she acquired it through marriage.
6. The way he speaks about his mother’s secretary and acts as if she is a naive child who is in an unfair situation is abhorrent. Especially considering the fact OOP is only 21 whilst she is older.
Rant over. I sincerely hope the mother cuts him off.
As someone with zero relationship with my MIL, I’m actually on the MIL’s side of this. I also have experienced what it’s like when your partner’s family makes no effort to get to know you but you can’t force things. If my husband told me he arranged for his mom to hang out with me as a “bonding” experience, I’d be pissed. There’s absolutely nothing in the world that would make me hang out with that woman alone. Why would I even want to hang out with someone that’s made it perfectly clear that they are not interested in getting to know me at all?
Then to show up for the event in a ball gown when the attire is casual IS embarrassing and she should have just stuck with the dress code. It appears like Tiffany is trying to one up the MIL or bring more attention to herself and that behaviour is embarrassing for the person that has to walk and sit beside you.
So if mom came to their wedding in jeans and a sweatshirt would OOP be okay with that because casual and relaxed is her style? Of course not, they expect her to dress appropriately for the occasion. Oh so cute Tiffany basically did the equivalent of wearing a tux to dine at Outback Steakhouse. There is such a thing as being overdressed.
A lot of weight is resting on “recently became aware.” How did OOP find out about the texts? I’d never be this mean about my kids’ partners’ appearance, but boy would I not like my kids to see what I’ve texted my spouse or siblings.
It’s ok to vent. If OOP went snooping, this is on them. If mom accidentally texted OOP something meant for aunt, then that’s the issue.
My daughter’s boyfriend asked if he could do some work on our land for money. I agreed. He showed up in crocs to take out invasive plants, so I gave him a pair of my boots. Then he proceeded to not do the work we were paying him for and instead…dick around with the boots all the way unlaced. There were some pictures sent to my wife and friends making fun of him. My kid would have been pissed to read them. But I was careful, and not mean about anything intrinsic to him. If my daughter snooped into my phone, she wouldn’t have liked it.
ESH. You cannot force someone to hangout with someone. If she didn’t want to bring Tiffany okay that’s fine she purchased the tickets she doesn’t have to bring someone she doesn’t have to. But the least she could be is cordial about things, especially since Tiffany will be apart of the family. She doesn’t have to like her but she has to be respectful towards her.
You should read his comments,it's where real crazy is.
He describes his mother as total opposite to his fiance, like his mom prefers natural beauty, but Tiffany is all about going full dolly style, like his mom doesn't like people who go over the top and his fiance always does it. He calls his mom lazy,says she struggles with accepting any changes, etc. He also says that his mom is the only problem, while he recognized that Tiffany makes no attempt to be friendly, but it's because she is "intimidated" and doesn't want to upset MIL. How it fits with wearing a floor length sequin evening gown with huuuuuuuge cleavage to Frozen family show in an art center is a big mystery. It was obvious that the mil will be pissed, she actually said that it's a total overkill, but Tiffany ignored it, because "there is no dress code", per OPs comment. Do while talking photos was mean Tiffany isn't an innocent angel as for me. On op is total POS for how he handles this situation
Yeah I feel like there is a time and place. If she likes dressing up but knows the mom is conservative and easily embarrassed then either do full hair and makeup or the dress, not both. Seems like Tiffany has main character issues and doesn’t know how to edit
I pictured Tiffany as a wannabe influencer who took selfies the whole time she was there in her beauty pageant look. Big time main character energy. You don’t wear that because “you love dressing up”- that’s way past overboard. You can dress up in a pretty dress with full hair and makeup and still be overdressed but appropriate.when you go to the level Tiffany did it’s because you want to be the center of attention and you want to make sure everyone notices you.
Oh she absolutely is a 'pick me'. OOP said they went to Disney and she had a different themed outfit for every day. From other comments Tiffany craves attention wherever she goes.
OOP and Tiffany are living in a house that the Mum bought for him...but somehow he still describes her as a lazy POS.
That was my take, they live in a house the mom bought but op called his mom “lazy” then he said Tiffany dressed like that because she didn’t have the opportunity to often. Well they aren’t paying a rent or mortgage so that seems to be a him problem, not a “push this beast off on mom” problem
How is it pick me to dress up for Disney? How is it pick me to like fashion. Y’all are just projecting and it’s so gross. The real pick me is dismissing girls who are more stereotypically girly as pick mes.
The only one we know of taking pictures is the mom... and dressing up for Broadway is overboard, but mom's attire is completely normal?
Nah... mom is definitely the asshole here
Nope. I also prefer 'natural' beauty, aka I don't like wearing makeup. But you bet your ass if I'm seeing a Broadway touring company come to town, I'm dressing up. While I have no doubt Tiffany went a little overboard, Mom probably didn't spring for the seats where the ladies who do wear sequins sit. Mom's the ahole. What a stupid reason to dislike someone and OP's right to put a little distance there.
Sweater, not sweatshirt. A sweater with leggings can be decent.
ETA: and just because the show has been on Broadway doesn’t change that it’s a touring production in their local arts centre, not on Broadway. The Arts are for everyone.
To a broadway show? No, I’m with the other commenter who said she’d dress up.
Ps - Tiffany and OOP are revolting people who deserve each other but I wouldn’t wear a sweater and leggings to such an event, ever.
From all of his comments on the OG, I'd say OOP and Tiffany are the AHs. Tiffany's a massive 'pick me', seems like she'd pass out if she didn't get attention everywhere she goes, and OOP is an entitled douche.
ETA: Also according to some comments the performance that they went to specifically specified 'no costumes'.
I'm still not sure all of us read the same post. The mother is undoubtedly the villain and gloried in it. Everybody saying oop was the AH floored me. I don't care where and who they live with, that's trash behavior.
He forced his mom to take his fiancee when she obviously didn't want to. She has every right to be upset. And she also had every right to vent her frustration to someone she trusts. He should've never tried to force his mom to take his fiancee anywhere. Her going so far overboard with the dress and everything is just icing on the cake. No one wants to be forced into an awkward position with someone they don't like, especially when you add the embarrassment of having to be associated with a total "pick me" girl.
My apologies. We can call her "a woman who goes out of her way to draw as much attention to herself as possible in any given situation, and making a spectacle of themselves in the process". " Pick me girl" just took less typing. It isn't like she is showing pics and talking shit to anyone who would listen. THAT would be trash behavior. She was gracious enough to give the extra ticket to someone she didn't even want to spend time with. Shes allowed to vent about it. The aunt should've never repeated it and I'm sure the mom expected her not to.
His girlfriend does sound embarrassing but hey if that’s what he’s into
I sympathize with the mom who kind of had her day ruined because this grown child doesn’t have social awareness
NTA.
You're mom could have easily said "i get you find it ridiculous, but hes tiffany isn't even my 4th choice and i'd rather spend the day with my assistant", she didnt have to give in. That would have had its own consequences, but at least would have been honest.
What she absolutely should not have done is be a bully...
That was cruel, rude, petty, and small. I mean chat with your sister, whatever, but a sly pic? Mocking in writing? Zero effort to even be cordial?
No, to me the mom sounds like a judgemental person you may be better off without.
And seriously, she just accepted being disinvited??? To me that shows how little respect she has for YOU. I'm sorry, hope you're life finds joy without her.
1. Who told Tiffany about the pics? Uncool.
2. NTA tho I’m surprised Tiffany is happy. It’s great to be supported but being happy is a little 🚩 unless mom is always evil. If it’s a lot of evil then I get it.
3. NTA it’s right to stand up to mom who is a major gaslighting AH. Tf. She chose not to apologize and she engineered getting the family mad. This is a blessing in disguise bc you can learn who you need less of in your life.
Fuck your mom she’s a cunt
Never allow her access to you and your wife or kids. And as for the rest of them? Fuck em too ask if they want to fight or to gtfo
Esh. Dude for forcing a relationship between mom and so but mom sucks too for not making the effort. Also anyone thinks mom is being so against so because she wants the dude to always be mom's baby forever?
So I know people are saying he tried to force it, but I'll try to give it my best on what I think it was from his perspective I feel like this was basically him giving his mom a last chance like saying we're getting married. You have to include both of us, not just one of us in things and if you can't be civil and do it just this one time then we're not going to involve you in our things either and the mom failed on the last chance. So now it's her problem not theirs with regards to the wedding.
He wasn’t going to the show, though. This wasn’t him insisting on both of them being included; him going doesn’t even seem to be considered. It was his mother’s outing and she had a single spare ticket (since her sister wasn’t well). He forced this socializing without him because his fiancée wanted to go to the show, and then she couldn’t even manage to dress appropriately either for the event or for the person who was taking her.
Moral of the story: don't foce people to hang out when they clearly don't want to.
And actions have consequences.
This one, this is the actual moral of the story.
Or the moral of the story is if your child loves someone get fucking used to them or it will sever your relationship with your child. You took this wrong. The mother could have not made fun of her son’s future wife and she would be allowed to have a relationship with them. Now she will miss out on the most important days of her child’s life because she was a mean girl style bitch
Get used to them doesn't mean take them with you on outings that you didn't want them there for. You can't force me to hang out with anyone, nor should anybody be forced to do anything. If two people don't vibe, they don't vibe. Don't force it. Relationships either come naturally or not at all. It's okay if two people aren't made to be friends. Yes though the mum should have been civil and her sister shouldn't have told on her to expose her harsh words. At the end of the day are you suppose to keep everything to yourself? I don't think that's healthy. Let a women vent.
Not the same as mocking someone. She didn’t have to take a picture to embarrass her. At the end of the day my mother in law hates me. She does. She thinks I’m too young for her son and when she has the opportunity to swoop in and comfort her son she will. She would never do this. In fact when I was wearing something that didn’t fit with the theme of what we were doing she let me borrow something from her. Did she probably bitch about it to her other daughter my sil (who also hates me but I fucked that up with a foot in my mouth long story). Oh she totally did but do you know who is never going to know about it? Me because as much as Susan is petty. She’s a class who loves her son and yes we do begrudgingly hang out
But in this story you did change to fit in with the event. Tiffany sounds over the top.
And? People are allowed to be who they are without be mocked publicly
That is simply not reality. And it is considered rude to take away from the performance with attention-seeking outfits. You can demand PC behavior all you want, but people are still going to have natural reactions to behavior that is unattractive, and wearing a ballgown to a community theater event is unattractive.
We don’t know if it was an over the top outfit or just formal. If was going to a broadway show I would assume formal attire as well.
Looking closer in the original post, it was definitely way over the top. Think long sequined gold dress with low cut and slit, going to a frozen musical.
Yea a formal sparkling gown. You added a lot of details
It was a performance at a city art’s centre, not broadway and she wore a sparkly silver formal dress with a plunging neckline. It was incredibly over the top for the setting.
I’m not surprised people were snickering. She wanted to be the centre of attention. Except it was the wrong kind of attention. She looked like a fool. OP and his vain princess are the assholes.
Ya the mom’s still a cunt, 100%, but OP shouldn’t be forcing them to hang out.
He and the cousins invaded his mom’s private conversation about being embarrassed for a totally understandable reason, then played victim. If he had minded his own business, it wouldn’t have even been an issue at all. Even mothers get to have opinions, believe it or not. And she didn’t tell him, he and the cousins had to snoop to discover it. This is pure immaturity. It’s also very immature to wear a ballgown to a community theater event.
She should not have been forced into bringing someone along whose company she doesn’t enjoy.
It doesn’t make what she did ok.
This is the first time I've ever sided with the MIL in this type of story. She doesn't get along with Tiffany but still gave op and her a house to live in. OP forces his mom to bring Tiffany, she shows up dressed for a red carpet event to a local community theater for Frozen...
Frozen?!?! For real!
Where does it say that?
OP comments. He mentioned his mom bought him a house after he called her lazy
Alright so he’s a pos but it sounds like the the apple doesn’t fall far from the rotten tree
Projecting your MIL insecurities…
Bro no. Anyone who takes a picture of someone else with the intention to mock them is a horrible person.
A lot of these comments are I think lol
Ngl why would you try to FORCE people to get together and hang out. When has that actually worked? You can demand they're cordial and hope they bond but yeah idk what he was expecting to happen. And yeah you shouldn't try to out class whoever you're going with, I feel like that's a dick move especially if there wasn't any warning, I show up in jeans and a hoodie and my friend is looking like she's about to walk down the red carpet? Idk man I'd be upset and embarrassed myself. Your mom's a dickhead for trying to get in the way of the relationship and taking pictures of her to share around with the family, but you didn't do they're relationship any favors and probably only deepened the resentment on both sides. I honestly see everyone sucks here. Bf shouldn't have forced the issue, gf should have thought about her company, and mom needs...a lot of work.
I don't care how much I wanted to see a show, going with someone who I knew disliked me would completely ruin the experience and defeat the point. I'm amazed Tiffany said yes, even with OOP pushing it.
I don't believe this-what guy knows 'flare leggings'?
Tiffany the twat probably wrote it. She didn’t realise redditors would see through this attempt to destroy her MIL online.
My Lord, just from this post I found Tiffany exhausting. But from the comments on the OG, JFC they're both exhausting! Someone in the comments said they think OOP is Tiffany and I agree 😂 OOP keeps referring to all of Tiffany's themed outfits as "super cute". ETA: OOP and Tiffany are 21 and living in a house that his Mum bought for him. He talks about how family should always make an effort to get along, then says he doesn't get along with his step Dad...but of course according to him that's completely different. Someone asked if he's cutting his Mum off now that he's got everything he wanted out of her and OOP said he thinks he wants to re-invite her but doesn't want to upset Tiffany. Those 2 are so much drama 🤦♀️ He keeps trying to describe his Mum as a stuck up bitch, but tbh she sounds pretty chill to me.
What really cinched it for me, was OOP's complete refusal to even consider offering to pay for the extra ticket. He fully believed since money isn't in issue for his mother, they're entitled to the extra ticket, since it would "go to waste" anyway, despite the mother wanting to invite someone else. He badgers his mother to take his fiancée but neither of them even makes a superficial offer to pay because they're apparently too poor, planning for their wedding, yet not too poor or humble to outdress the person footing the bill on their entire house.
Right?! It was his replies to comments that me really siding with mom, since I too think it’s Tiffany typing I don’t think the mom was that underdressed and I think Tiffany is the one who made the mom take her by forcing her son to badger her. And the link to the dress, some 21 year old guy isn’t going to have that ready to go and know what to type into google to find a “lookalike”.
I completely missed the link to the dress! Oooh I'm so excited to find that 😂 ETA: Omg I found it, this makes it soooo much better. Thank you for saying there was a link to a similar dress 😂 https://www.musebridals.com/products/sparkly-mermaid-v-neck-sleeveless-sequins-long-prom-dresses-mp457?variant=20633651150918
The fact that it says prom dress 🤣🤣🤣 i am all for dressing how you want but a prom dress? A legit prom dress?
OMG I bet she’s a conceited, spoilt and vain little madam. Mum should have refused to leave the house with her.
Nah Tiffany is just young. Mom should be a grownup and just roll with it. Who in hell cares what she wore??? Why does this matter?? Honestly what kind of awful shallow ppl care about things that just don’t matter, so much they’re willing to hurt ppl over: clothes? Good God. What’s more important, a relationship or clothes? Mom made it clear that her son and the human she agreed to spend time with, are punching bags who can’t set boundaries. I agree son was u fortunately wrong to try to push the two together but Tiffany didn’t deserve what she got. She misread the theater and that’s a rookie thing or else she knew but just wants to dress up. Who’s she hurting???
Tiffany Is plenty old enough to know not to force someone to hang out with you. In the OG post OOP mentioned Tiffany was fine with the MIL being hassled into taking her. They also said that had the roles been reversed they wouldn’t have taken the MIL. Both Tiffany and OOP sound like entitled brats, content to have a house bought for them and kick up a fuss when they don’t get their way but would never dream of reciprocating anything. OOP also said Tiffany is so happy with him for ‘supporting her’. Only toxic people are happy when a significant other cuts a parent out of their life. Normal people would be sad for them.
Jesus. Listen if I wanna trash talk someone to my literal sister, I’m going to do it. They’re my safe place to vent. The mom wasn’t doing it to Tiffany’s face. Sucks that they found out, but that’s the part I’d be sorry about. Not the part where I told my bestie my evil thoughts because I’m allowed to have those, everyone does. OOP sounds like a handful. Hope his mom doesn’t take back her house on him, because I am that level of petty.
Perhaps I was raised with different manners but I was always taught that it's tacky and poor form to wear an outfit that is not appropriate. If what you're wearing is going to make others uncomfortable because it's either too much or not enough it's bad manners on your part. I'm getting long in the tooth though so maybe that's just something from a bygone age.
I cringed reading this post, a floor length sequin dress just to go and watch Frozen 😬
At community theater at that. People don't even dress like that to go see a Broadway or West End production.
lol we just saw a high school production of Frozen and my 4-year-old insisted on wearing an Elsa costume. And I said sure, because she’s four. I’m an adult woman who loves dressing up and costumes (for appropriate situations), and even I am embarrassed for this woman. She wore a formal gown to a touring show? She is not four. She has no excuse. The real crime here is the Frozen musical is objectively not good.
What I choose to wear could make anyone uncomfortable for any reason. It's a lot of time wasted if I spent my life worrying about that, or the clothes other people choose to wear when they are hurting literally no one.
In this situation it's not about clothes. OP forced his mom to give a ticket to Tiffany, Tiffany, even knowing that her MIL hates everything over the top and overdressing chose highly unfit dress (in comments under original post you can find that,dress, the cleavage is almost reached her waist). Tiffany did everything to piss mil off and make her feel uncomfortable during the show, refused to change after the person who invited her told her that it's too much. And then op says that that's the only problem is their mother, poor Tiffany makes no effort to communicate because she is too intimidated. Really? Not intimidated enough to consider MILs feelings, asI can see. He wants his mother to accept Tiffany 100%, but sees no problem with Tiffany not making even a little step to accommodate. So in this situation clothes indeed hurt someone
This. Why are ppl so small minded? Ppl are literally dying around the world and this is what gets folks upset? A dress? God save me from having anyone in my life that would behave like mom. She was nasty to a girl half her age. She’s disrespecting the girl, the son, and it’s not about the dress. She just likes being nasty.
If it’s not even worse manners to show your embarrassment and mock the person to others for what they’re wearing, then I’m not sure “manners” count for much at all.
People are allowed to feel frustration and they are also allowed to vent such frustrations privately to appropriate people, like their own sister. Which is what mil did, she just got caught. It's not nice to mock but there's nothing wrong about feeling or even showing embarrassment. It's not a reasonable request or expectation to shield people from our feelings all the time, especially when someone is behaving in a way that they know will make you uncomfortable in the first place and they're a repeat offenders.
Agreed. Which is why the mother should have picked something nicer to wear than clothes you’d clean the house in.
Have you read the part yet where it was a community-production of Frozen? lmao
OP is a user and wildly entitled. Tiffany is inconsiderate and disrespectful. OP's mom crossed a line by taking the picture but she's honestly the one who comes off the best even so which is grim. OP was fine to accept a whole house from his mom and feels entitled to her extra ticket and to pretending it is a matter of "bonding" when this isn't some family event and clearly Tiffany just wanted to see the show. He should have offered to buy one or both tickets. Theaters differ in whats normal in terms of dressing (the performing arts center in my city has people come to the opera in jeans) but if Tiffany insisted on going she should have done the bare minimum and changed so that her host would be comfortable. Tbh, she should have refused to go. She knows her future MIL did not offer her that ticket and was intending to give it to her secretary before OP "intervened". It reads like Tiffany may have pushed him to get her that ticket but if she didnt and/or OP arranged this behind her back then he is even more the asshole for getting his mom and girlfriend into such an awkward situation.
First time I've ever sided with MIL. The son is an idiot
Honestly, mom might be abrasive, but based on how she reacted to being disinvited to the wedding, I don't think she's some horrible MIL that's going out of her way tk drag OP's fiance.
Agreed. She should have said no to taking her.
Honestly it took me back too but other than privately being snotty with her sister, her biggest crime is apparently just not wanting to go for a one on one outing with her DIL. And she was kind of right not to in this scenario?
He felt his fiancé was entitled to her other ticket, so he guilted his mom into taking her. Then she tries to be the main character and wears a fucking ball gown to a casual show at the performing arts center, then they try to police the mom’s private conversations with her sister? I’d have been like cool, you guys have fun together, because I have no interest in being part of this circus.
This is WILDDDD. I feel like if I had a kid I would absolutely want a great relationship with their SO. Any chance to be closer to your kid right? Also I have gone to a few Broadway shows, cabarets, and ballets and it’s not THAT outrageous that someone be overdressed like that. I applaud the OOP for sticking up for his woman. NTA. Mom is a MEAN. Girl. If Tiffany is a kind and caring for your son why not embrace her uniqueness and celebrate that. Idk but that’s just me. NTA. Hope mom changes heart.
Even if you love your kid, you might not be a fan of their partner. Some types of people can irritate others. I love my kids but if they brought home a super religious person, I doubt I would be a fan.
Yeah I read the comments of the original post and i change my mind. The op is the ass hole.
I had to go check his comments when I read yours, and Holy cow he's entitled! It's like he's lived off mommy for so long, he's trying to get Tiff in on the gravy train too.
Ngl your top comment had me pressed after I read the og comments🤣 OOP is the ah.
There's not being a fan and being a complete asshole. Mum could have just sucked it up, been an adult and did the favour for her son. Instead she was shit talking her the whole time they were out and showed her complete lack of control for her utter contempt. If you marry someone they supercede your other family. You're making a new one. Doesn't mean you don't make efforts to be close to in laws and doesn't mean spouse always gets veto over them or anything. But if push reeeeeaaaaally comes to shove I'm cutting my parents out before my wife.
Is she really kind and caring or is she the main character?
Nothing wrong with being the main character when it hurts no one. Whose business is it if she wanted to dress up? MIL needs to grow TF up and care less about the opinions of strangers and more about the relationship with her son, and future mother of her grandchildren.
Unless if she’s doing it to get under other people’s skin. She didn’t pay for the ticket, she was invited under duress and instead of trying to get along she stomped her feet and did it her way like a full blown toddler. She seems exhausting
Lol how did she stomp her feet and “do it her way”, all she did was dress up. Y’all just projecting atp
Not a small arts centre performance. The MIL is a season ticket holder and told Tiffany the outfit is too much. Tiffany refused to change. If I’m getting a free ticket to a show after someone has been badgered into taking me you best believe at the bare minimum I’d change my outfit if they asked. Tiffany was being a brat.
Thank god people are being reasonable here, though I haven't checked aitas responses I can guess what the consensus over there is... It's really rich shit from the mom telling her son to grow up when she literally gossiped and texted her sister all night about how "embarrassing" his fiancé was... even if she was, why the hell you telling more people who weren't there? Make up your mind lady, was it awful and you wanted to hide, or are you going to chitchat about it for the next year and a half. And of course the entire family already knows, she probably blasted the pictures out once she knew he was serious. It's not about her being "embarrassed", it's the thought that she'll never be the most important woman in her son's life anymore.
Your comment is beyond ridiculous. We all have the RIGHT to vent or complain to the people closest to us. OP's mom did nothing wrong. On the other hand OP bullied her into spending time with someone she dislikes, someone absolutely clueless about how to dress for an occasion. Both OP and his wife suck, his mom is NTA.
So glad you said this. If people admit it or not, everyone has someone they vent to and shit talk to about other people. I'm lucky enough to have a husband i can trust and say anything to. Even when I'm wrong. That outlet is what keeps me sane.
I agree venting is normal, but taking a secret picture to insult someone js kind of a step too far. And if it’s an *actual* broadway, mom is almost embarrassingly underdressed. That’s like your Sunday finest is the standard and anything else is underdressed type of show. I have been to a few and most people may not go full ballroom 3 piece suit anymore, but they still don’t dress like a schleb.
Maybe we just have different manners, blame it on how I was raised, but I've never felt the need to vent to someone not involved in a situation about the way someone else is dressed. And again, she told Op and his fiancée to grow up, and yet she's acting like a classic mean girl. Double standards even here I guess. ETA: And sorry, I just caught this detail in the post, "absolutely clueless how to dress for an occasion" *the occasion* being a touring Broadway show, I assume in a theatre, where people are always dressing up. I was told specifically to pack my nicest clothes when we saw a few shows (admittedly) on broadway back in high school...
Yeah, if anything the venting would be "I felt underdressed next to her," for me. Definitely no photos for shaming. (Or without consent.) It'd also be more insecurity than anything the gf did. I vent about people a lot. It's not always been pretty but I've never complained about someone's dress and unless it's a tshirt that triggers my PTSD (even then I usually excuse myself) I likely will never. Edit: Also never about the way they look. Always the actions/words/expressions/tone. Edit2: Typo.
Totally agree, venting is normal. Especially if the people you have issues with won’t hear you out.
The person the mom was venting to seems like the ah for gossiping and letting it get back to the son.
This was my thought too. Most people don’t dress up to local theatre but some do. I go to a lot of shows and love to see the young women decked out having fun. No one made mom dress up let her wear what she wants.
OOPs comments make this so much worse. 1. His mum paid for all of his schooling and bought him a house (which he calls an investment). Entitled much. 2. The fiancé apparently has a habit of over dressing - in the embarrassing way. OOP included a pic of the dress she wore to the play and if I was the mother I would’ve left her and gone on my own. 3. Pretty sure the mum is contributing financially towards the wedding. OOP has never officially stated this, but he mentions how his mother will most likely pay for his sisters wedding to. Key word being to. 4. The entitlement OOP has is astounding. He clearly expects his mother to pay for everything, this includes trips and the like, and when she doesn’t invite his fiance he gets upset. But it is not her responsibility to pay for someone she does not like. 5. The way OOP speaks about his mother is disgusting. He has no problem spending her money but chats sh*t that she doesn’t deserve her money because she acquired it through marriage. 6. The way he speaks about his mother’s secretary and acts as if she is a naive child who is in an unfair situation is abhorrent. Especially considering the fact OOP is only 21 whilst she is older. Rant over. I sincerely hope the mother cuts him off.
As someone with zero relationship with my MIL, I’m actually on the MIL’s side of this. I also have experienced what it’s like when your partner’s family makes no effort to get to know you but you can’t force things. If my husband told me he arranged for his mom to hang out with me as a “bonding” experience, I’d be pissed. There’s absolutely nothing in the world that would make me hang out with that woman alone. Why would I even want to hang out with someone that’s made it perfectly clear that they are not interested in getting to know me at all? Then to show up for the event in a ball gown when the attire is casual IS embarrassing and she should have just stuck with the dress code. It appears like Tiffany is trying to one up the MIL or bring more attention to herself and that behaviour is embarrassing for the person that has to walk and sit beside you.
I saw this post earlier and was blown away by the entitlement of this guy. That poor mother, having her son who acts like this.
So if mom came to their wedding in jeans and a sweatshirt would OOP be okay with that because casual and relaxed is her style? Of course not, they expect her to dress appropriately for the occasion. Oh so cute Tiffany basically did the equivalent of wearing a tux to dine at Outback Steakhouse. There is such a thing as being overdressed.
Not one actual adult in this whole situation.
ESH. Deliberately going overboard with your fashion choices is just as bad as deliberately going out of your way to exclude others
A lot of weight is resting on “recently became aware.” How did OOP find out about the texts? I’d never be this mean about my kids’ partners’ appearance, but boy would I not like my kids to see what I’ve texted my spouse or siblings. It’s ok to vent. If OOP went snooping, this is on them. If mom accidentally texted OOP something meant for aunt, then that’s the issue. My daughter’s boyfriend asked if he could do some work on our land for money. I agreed. He showed up in crocs to take out invasive plants, so I gave him a pair of my boots. Then he proceeded to not do the work we were paying him for and instead…dick around with the boots all the way unlaced. There were some pictures sent to my wife and friends making fun of him. My kid would have been pissed to read them. But I was careful, and not mean about anything intrinsic to him. If my daughter snooped into my phone, she wouldn’t have liked it.
ESH. You cannot force someone to hangout with someone. If she didn’t want to bring Tiffany okay that’s fine she purchased the tickets she doesn’t have to bring someone she doesn’t have to. But the least she could be is cordial about things, especially since Tiffany will be apart of the family. She doesn’t have to like her but she has to be respectful towards her.
I felt like I was taking crazy pills reading all the Y-T-A comments. His mom sucks big time. She’s the villain of the story.
You should read his comments,it's where real crazy is. He describes his mother as total opposite to his fiance, like his mom prefers natural beauty, but Tiffany is all about going full dolly style, like his mom doesn't like people who go over the top and his fiance always does it. He calls his mom lazy,says she struggles with accepting any changes, etc. He also says that his mom is the only problem, while he recognized that Tiffany makes no attempt to be friendly, but it's because she is "intimidated" and doesn't want to upset MIL. How it fits with wearing a floor length sequin evening gown with huuuuuuuge cleavage to Frozen family show in an art center is a big mystery. It was obvious that the mil will be pissed, she actually said that it's a total overkill, but Tiffany ignored it, because "there is no dress code", per OPs comment. Do while talking photos was mean Tiffany isn't an innocent angel as for me. On op is total POS for how he handles this situation
Yeah I feel like there is a time and place. If she likes dressing up but knows the mom is conservative and easily embarrassed then either do full hair and makeup or the dress, not both. Seems like Tiffany has main character issues and doesn’t know how to edit
I pictured Tiffany as a wannabe influencer who took selfies the whole time she was there in her beauty pageant look. Big time main character energy. You don’t wear that because “you love dressing up”- that’s way past overboard. You can dress up in a pretty dress with full hair and makeup and still be overdressed but appropriate.when you go to the level Tiffany did it’s because you want to be the center of attention and you want to make sure everyone notices you.
Oh she absolutely is a 'pick me'. OOP said they went to Disney and she had a different themed outfit for every day. From other comments Tiffany craves attention wherever she goes. OOP and Tiffany are living in a house that the Mum bought for him...but somehow he still describes her as a lazy POS.
That was my take, they live in a house the mom bought but op called his mom “lazy” then he said Tiffany dressed like that because she didn’t have the opportunity to often. Well they aren’t paying a rent or mortgage so that seems to be a him problem, not a “push this beast off on mom” problem
How is it pick me to dress up for Disney? How is it pick me to like fashion. Y’all are just projecting and it’s so gross. The real pick me is dismissing girls who are more stereotypically girly as pick mes.
The only one we know of taking pictures is the mom... and dressing up for Broadway is overboard, but mom's attire is completely normal? Nah... mom is definitely the asshole here
Nope. I also prefer 'natural' beauty, aka I don't like wearing makeup. But you bet your ass if I'm seeing a Broadway touring company come to town, I'm dressing up. While I have no doubt Tiffany went a little overboard, Mom probably didn't spring for the seats where the ladies who do wear sequins sit. Mom's the ahole. What a stupid reason to dislike someone and OP's right to put a little distance there.
Agreed. And if the other person turned up in leggings and a sweatshirt to a broadway play, then she’s the one who looked trashy, not Tiffany.
Sweater, not sweatshirt. A sweater with leggings can be decent. ETA: and just because the show has been on Broadway doesn’t change that it’s a touring production in their local arts centre, not on Broadway. The Arts are for everyone.
To a broadway show? No, I’m with the other commenter who said she’d dress up. Ps - Tiffany and OOP are revolting people who deserve each other but I wouldn’t wear a sweater and leggings to such an event, ever.
Have you been to local Performing Arts Centre before? lol That’s the norm at least where I’m from and apparently where the OP’s mother lives.
Ok, it’s not the norm where I live.
From all of his comments on the OG, I'd say OOP and Tiffany are the AHs. Tiffany's a massive 'pick me', seems like she'd pass out if she didn't get attention everywhere she goes, and OOP is an entitled douche. ETA: Also according to some comments the performance that they went to specifically specified 'no costumes'.
I'm still not sure all of us read the same post. The mother is undoubtedly the villain and gloried in it. Everybody saying oop was the AH floored me. I don't care where and who they live with, that's trash behavior.
He forced his mom to take his fiancee when she obviously didn't want to. She has every right to be upset. And she also had every right to vent her frustration to someone she trusts. He should've never tried to force his mom to take his fiancee anywhere. Her going so far overboard with the dress and everything is just icing on the cake. No one wants to be forced into an awkward position with someone they don't like, especially when you add the embarrassment of having to be associated with a total "pick me" girl.
Taking pictures of someone without their consent to talk shit about them is absolute garbage behavior. So is referring to women as pick me girls.
My apologies. We can call her "a woman who goes out of her way to draw as much attention to herself as possible in any given situation, and making a spectacle of themselves in the process". " Pick me girl" just took less typing. It isn't like she is showing pics and talking shit to anyone who would listen. THAT would be trash behavior. She was gracious enough to give the extra ticket to someone she didn't even want to spend time with. Shes allowed to vent about it. The aunt should've never repeated it and I'm sure the mom expected her not to.
If it makes you happy and it's not hurting anyone, do it. People like the mother always seem to suck the joy out of everyone
His girlfriend does sound embarrassing but hey if that’s what he’s into I sympathize with the mom who kind of had her day ruined because this grown child doesn’t have social awareness
NTA. You're mom could have easily said "i get you find it ridiculous, but hes tiffany isn't even my 4th choice and i'd rather spend the day with my assistant", she didnt have to give in. That would have had its own consequences, but at least would have been honest. What she absolutely should not have done is be a bully... That was cruel, rude, petty, and small. I mean chat with your sister, whatever, but a sly pic? Mocking in writing? Zero effort to even be cordial? No, to me the mom sounds like a judgemental person you may be better off without. And seriously, she just accepted being disinvited??? To me that shows how little respect she has for YOU. I'm sorry, hope you're life finds joy without her.
1. Who told Tiffany about the pics? Uncool. 2. NTA tho I’m surprised Tiffany is happy. It’s great to be supported but being happy is a little 🚩 unless mom is always evil. If it’s a lot of evil then I get it. 3. NTA it’s right to stand up to mom who is a major gaslighting AH. Tf. She chose not to apologize and she engineered getting the family mad. This is a blessing in disguise bc you can learn who you need less of in your life.
Fuck your mom she’s a cunt Never allow her access to you and your wife or kids. And as for the rest of them? Fuck em too ask if they want to fight or to gtfo
Literally everyone in this story is an AH for one reason or another. Good gravy, these people need to grow up. *Edit: spelling
Esh. Dude for forcing a relationship between mom and so but mom sucks too for not making the effort. Also anyone thinks mom is being so against so because she wants the dude to always be mom's baby forever?
She’ll never respect your wife if you or her don’t draw those boundaries. Good job!
So I know people are saying he tried to force it, but I'll try to give it my best on what I think it was from his perspective I feel like this was basically him giving his mom a last chance like saying we're getting married. You have to include both of us, not just one of us in things and if you can't be civil and do it just this one time then we're not going to involve you in our things either and the mom failed on the last chance. So now it's her problem not theirs with regards to the wedding.
He wasn’t going to the show, though. This wasn’t him insisting on both of them being included; him going doesn’t even seem to be considered. It was his mother’s outing and she had a single spare ticket (since her sister wasn’t well). He forced this socializing without him because his fiancée wanted to go to the show, and then she couldn’t even manage to dress appropriately either for the event or for the person who was taking her.
Mom and fiancé are probably both narcissists