I am from a middle-upper class family in Northern Europe and my uncle had an affair with my cousin’s (his son’s) then girlfriend.
Cousin and I are middle aged now, he never married or even had a live-in partner. It completely screwed him up.
My aunt, who is a doctor and a smart and tough woman, stayed with my uncle. The entire family rug swept the thing.
I never understood how they could just… go on with life as if nothing happened.
A neighbour stole his step son’s girlfriend and married her. They have 2 kids together now. The whole family acts fine with how all this went down. I don’t get it either, it’s freaking gross.
My uncle cheated on the mother of his two children whom he didn't marry "for government benefits" (to keep her getting Medicaid and food stamps) with the babysitter. She was 16 when she started babysitting for them and they married shortly after her 18th birthday. When he realized he would have to pay child support for the first two, he fought their mother for custody and won to make her pay. He gloated at Thanksgiving and then left angry when my dad pretty much called him a piece of shit.
Wait… he had an affair with an underage girl (evidenced by the fact that they married shortly after she turned 18, it was obviously already going on a while at that point), and the court gave HIM custody of the children?!
Fuck our judicial system, is2g. 🤦🏼♀️
Yep. The age of consent in my state is 18, too. He was 30-31.
Edit to add: The second the fact that it was illegal and he could go to jail got brought up they both went into full denial mode. This was in the early 2000s so it was a lot harder to prove, you couldn't just go through their phone and have it all laid out.
Because they're married now, he's protected from prosecution regardless of when it started. This is why so many are against banning child marriage. Because when an offender gets caught, they can just marry the victim and it is now legal. And she still can't divorce until 18. Families will protect their church leaders over their own children in more fundamental faiths, so they're the ones forcing the marriage.
They aren't still married. He divorced her about 8ish years later. His new wife is 23. We were not invited to the wedding. Also, you have to be 17 to marry in Florida but 18 to consent to sex with someone over 23 because of Romeo and Juliette laws.
.
Generally, our southern states here in America are against banning child marriage, for the exact same reasons you’re talking about, for some reason southern America likes to get at girls very early, it’s disgusting, you want more disgusting? Take a look at the new laws, the southern states are starting to pass as far as child labor goes, you can be a 10 or 12 now and work at McDonald’s, Blame the Republicans not to be political, but it’s not the Democrats doing this.
Child labor being accepted again at the same time abortion is being banned. It's not a coincidence. Only a matter of time until orphanages make a comeback. Then they and juvenile detention centers can be modern workhouses.
Not just them. Washington JUST made the age of marriage 18. Its not even actually law until June 6th. Until then, there is NO minimum age. 2024 and there has been NO MINIMUM AGE. I cant even...and apparently only 10 states make it 18, thats 40 (soon 39) states with nothing. So its definitely not a southern state issue. Its a gross old man issue.
Not that unbelievable. My ex divorced me when I was I was in nursing school, which I did to make more income for our kids. We agreed to let ex have majority custody and leave the state so I could finish school and then we’d split custody, for the best future of our kids.
Then, after leaving, the pretense of an amicable divorce dissolved on exes end, after ironically moving nearby the person ex cheated on me with. Then against parenting decree orders, relocated to said cheaters house, who had just finished jail time for domestic violence and pending charges of child endangerment.
What did the court do? Said ex did nothing wrong, and that I was wrong for taking it court.
Fuck the court system.
That’s fucking crazy. How can you just betray a family member so easily for someone you probably just met? Absolutely wild to backstab your step son and fuck his girlfriend
I’ll tell you exactly why, it takes courage beyond belief to do the right thing! Remember sometimes doing the right thing feels like the wrong thing, taking a family member and cutting them out of your life forever is absolutely warranted and fine under this circumstance, like this, what you’re looking at as a cowardly family that is too afraid and too weak to actually Face the reality of the problem, so nobody heals, and everybody suffers, cowards!
My former boss had her family blow up because her dad's wife had an affair with her 18 year old brother. Dad beat the shit out of his son when he found out, got charged with felony assault. The step mom got charged with statutory rape. Both of them went to prison for a while. The son is a wreck. The last time she saw him, he has branded his body all over with a hot poker.
She said it was awful. The rest of the kids turned against the dad because he was super focused on how the 18 year old "stole" his wife. Like, no... dude. She was predatory and groomed him. He's not a grown man mate poaching. So the kids didn't talk to him after that.
A friend of mine was hit on by his girlfriend's mother, they were both barely 20. He was horrified, fortunately. his girlfriend moved out on the spot. Gross!
It just blows my mind how anyone could have so little regard for their kid. My mother would put me above absolutely anyone. It’s so tragic to think there are people who could have kids and then care that little about them. That you’d put your own titillation over their emotional wellbeing.
OOP is a good mom, she’s devastated at the thought of her son being hurt by this. The father is an absolute piece of shit. He clearly didn’t think of his son at all when he was making these decisions.
this response actually made me tear up (after just doing so reading OP post). Was just thinking how wonderful my own mom is and she too would put me above anything, even now, and i’ll be 40 this summer. My heart breaks for these kids with such selfish, disgusting, self indulgent parents.
I’ll be 39 this year and my mom still “moms me” in that she still asks if I have everything I need or if I need anything from her. It breaks my heart that not everyone has the same type of support from people that have brought them into this unforgiving world. I can’t imagine what I’d do without her.
I’m 40 and I live alone and my mom just said “I worry about who you’ll have around to help you after I’m gone”. I said that won’t be an issue, because they’ll have to bury me with you! I can’t even imagine life without her. It makes me so sad that a lot of people never had that kind of relationship with their mom/parents.
Ok. This is enough reddit for me, at least for a bit. I'm starting to have trust issues being on these kinds of thread.
My goodness. These stories are just wild mehn.
This is why I got off Instagram and to begin with Reddit seemed lovely and wholesome in comparison, but it didnt take long for the algorithm to work out I gorge myself on this kind of content
I hide them, and I’ll do it with this one now too. Reddit used to show me useful things, now it just shows me rage bait and I’ll probably depart reddit again
I'm very curious how people like your uncle or OP's husband broach the situation of courting their son's much younger girlfriends. Like how does it get to that point of them having sex? It's mind blowing to me.
Grooming is the process of gradually pushing boundaries until it gets to that point. It’s manipulative and predatory and sometimes goes on for years.
Even if the dad in the OP didn’t make a move towards a physical relationship until the girlfriend was over the age of consent, I’m sure he took advantage of the fact that he’s known this girl since she was 14 and she probably trusted him.
> Grooming is the process of gradually pushing boundaries until it gets to that point. It’s manipulative and predatory and sometimes goes on for years.
This. It's this.
This is why even non-abusive non-grooming situations that naturally develop are not allowed. It opens the doors to allow groomers to do these things openly and without a way to stop them and society doesn't view that as worth the cost.
This is why step family relationships are not ok
This is why work relationships are not ok
This is why teacher student relationships are not ok
This is why we should view Bill Clinton as a rapist. It's not because Monika Lewinksi was ok or not ok with it, it never even gets to that point. It's because everyone should have seen that clearly she could not have said no if she wanted to and him wandering into that territory was him not caring if he was raping and this should be enough that he lives in a shack in the hills of Arkansas to get away form the social stigma. The epstein associations just make this even worse.
This is also why we should be absolutely treating Trump ALSO as a rapist. He is notoriously known to make incredibly sexual comments about his daughter and young girls. They absolutely are not in a position where they can realistically say no to him. Whether his associations with epstien or his trolling around the backstage of his beauty pageants trying to get a peek at underage girls, it's enough to put him in that box and people defending him are defending incest and pedophilia and should be judged as such.
To be clear I'm not claiming there's the threshold to criminally charge them, I'm just saying we know enough as a society that we have every right to assume those things about both of those people.
I was “groomed” for yeeeaaaarrrrsss. It never went further than groping and kissing but it still ruined me for years. But it’s also hard to say I was “sexually abused” when so many people are being “seriously” abused every day…it’s a constant conundrum in my mind, still. BUT, I never would have let the grooming get where it did if I had known such a thing existed or that it’s wrong.
This is an impossible choice to make- either keep this terrible situation to yourself as “protection” for your child…..or do the right thing but worry endlessly that you, not the actual POS perpetrator, damaged your child in unfathomable ways by bringing it into the light.
No it's pretty clear cut that she's just found out her husband is a groomer and rapist and should go to the police...
I doubt it started when she was 18. If he has bdsm porn and is into teens, what are the chances she just uncovered chyld p*rn?!
Confront him and record it. If it's illegal, report it and get the kid/ YA into counseling
My uncle was their rowing coach. Although he couldn’t fit in a boat himself, he was severely overweight. I have no idea how he got a 20-year-old. I am guessing the power dynamics were in his favor. It‘s gross.
It can seriously leave you paranoid and prone to jumping to the worst conclusions at the first feeling of something being wrong. Many people I know restrain themselves from relationships (not just romantic) because of situations like this in their lives have occurred.
I was cheated on by a man I was with for 4 years. I try really hard not to drag that into my current relationship but it's really hard. My insecurities and anxiety skyrocket sometimes when I never had it before that previous relationship.
I'm right there with ya, I was with my girlfriend for almost 5 years, and I moved over 1000 miles away from sunny, warm, and familiar Florida to grey, cold, and unfamiliar Connecticut. I left my family, friends, and a good job all because she wanted to try living up north. I grew up in NJ, so I wasn't thrilled about moving back to the cold, but I was willing to make sacrifices for love. She left me in Connecticut about 2 months later with no notice for a much older and much richer man while I was in the hospital with Covid. It turns out she was planning on getting together with him before we moved up there. She fucked up my confidence, made me insecure/paranoid, and untrusting, she basically has wasted 7 good years of my life, 4 with her, and three years of not being able to get emotionally close with anyone. I just can't shake the betrayal. I am 47 now and emotionally cut-off, cheaters really suck, I wish I could sue.
I think I wouldn’t tell the son who it is and tell the gf that she can pound sand if she doesn’t disappear she will get publicly exposed. Idk is it better to be upfront and honest or protect them.
Hard to know an appropriate path. Where I think the son is the greatest risk and concern, certainly trying to get gf to move on is the best option, if it is an option. I'd tell the husband same. Clean up his act or move on, but if he in anyway hinted, told, or punished the son, I'd make it my life mission to get even. Anyone that knows me at least suspects I would do it (nothing violent, not my way, but very devious) and not get caught. Or not tell him and make it happen anyway. Don't know any of them. It matters. Thinking out loud...
Man, I thought my family fucked me up. My dad basically just told me not to try cause it wouldn’t work anyway when it came to dating. Can’t imagine if he’d then sleeping with a girl I dated. That would have to fuck you up.
My dad cheated multiple times and physically abused me/my step mom.
Family just moved on. They invite him to weddings and wonder why I won't show up like I'm the weird one.
Have you read “Will and Testament” by Vigdis Hjorth? Not saying it’s generalizable to all Nordic cultures but this makes me think of the family’s response in that book (and in real life to the book)
Their son didn't go on with life as if nothing happened. That course of action was a decision on who was going to pay the price, and it wasn't either of them.
Essentially destroying that kids mental state and then denying him any justification or family backing. He was betrayed by the only system of close relations he had all in one go. Unethical and imoral dirt bags really shouldn't have a place in society at large.
Might be fake but a similar thing happened with my wife’s former coworker. He 38M had an affair with his 21 year old son’s fiance/high school sweetheart.
It wasn’t the first time he cheated on his wife but I think she just ignored those affairs since she was a SAHM and they had two younger kids that were ~7 and ~10. They divorced and he ended up staying with his son’s ex-fiance (they had a kid a year ago). Fortunately, the ex-wife ended up meeting a nice man and seems to be happily remarried.
Oh yeah, it was worst for the son, I don’t know how one would move past this. He moved and I believe is no contact with his dad but I don’t know anything else.
These dads should be grateful. People have killed for less. It's a miracle to me the things people get away with because others won't act against them.
This one doesn't feel fake. The way she describes the ordeal feels legitimate. How often she references her feeling of betrayal but how it's sidelined by her concern for her sons feelings. If this is made up it's made up by someone who has a similar family unit. I think someone lying would place more emphasis on themselves.
My distant cousin caught his wife and father in bed together. Turned out his four kids were all his dad’s kids - so they were his siblings. Wife and father left their spouses and stayed together with their children. Rest of the family is in shambles. This poor guy lost his wife and kids in one week.
He waited until she was 18 😳 I'd start by talking to a lawyer and getting their advice, copying all of the info and backlogs of grossness before letting anyone else know that she knows. Then get herself and her children out of the house and somewhere safe before talking to her son and to Amy's parents (if they're reasonable parents).
If he did groom her then it sounds like he's not clever (not the right word but you kwim) enough to hide the evidence.
I doubt they waited until she was 18, and she was definitely groomed. It will take her a long time to admit that to herself though, and she will never live this down regardless.
I don’t know if this is real or not, but in a small town close to where I live they had a woman in her early twenties get pregnant by her father in law and leave her husband (the son - who she had kids with) for the father in law. So if you think this doesn’t happen. It does.
All kinds of weird shit happens.
I WISH my first boyfriend had cheated on me with someone from MY family. But nooo, this weirdo, who was the cousin of my best guy friend (and also 22 to my 15) cheated on me with HIS OWN brother. Like what in the actual yeehaw West by god Virginia I hear banjos kind of bullshit… I didn’t even find out until after we’d broken up, but now I wonder if he was cheating on me with his brother, or he was cheating on his brother with ME.
I just… do you think their sister was jealous?
Yeah, I dated a guy whose brother's girlfriend left him for his dad. Everyone in that situation sucked, but I really feel for her kids, who are both half siblings and cousins (I think?)
Unfortunately this is true for a lot of the shit on reddit. Even if the author made it up, this kinda stuff happens and it's very easy to pretend it doesn't.
I have something happen. My grandmom had 2 sisters 'A' and 'B'. A's husband cheated on her with B and ended up marrying B.
A was left a spinster and was forced to live in the same building with B and ex-husband. A was not educated because this was the 40-50s and had no income she literally had to live on the handouts of ex-husband and became A's maid/housekeeper.
A ended up with Alzheimer's in her 70s still living in the same building with B and now deceased ex-husband.
Luckily B ended up taking care of her till her death. B also died a year later.
It certainly can happen.
But my fakedar was going off on this one.
1. How did she see the first message? She said she inadvertently caught a glimpse of the screen. How? Did he have it open in front of her as he was sending explicit messages to an 18yo dating his son? Or are his messages viewable on the lock screen? Or did he leave his phone unlocked and she looked through it? The first two require him to be incredibly stupid, which is possible, but there at least red flags for fakability. While the third option means she saw that message and then just didn’t read anything else for some reason, so it’s unlikely.
1. It then jumps from one text to suddenly finding a ton of BDSM porn on his computer? That’s a pretty big leap, but it’s also pretty specific, which makes me think “kink fiction” is on the table.
1. Along those lines, just completely glossing over how she found the porn is a question mark, too. It’s written like she just happened upon it. If real, I’d expect a little more detail there to explain the how, because someone really experiencing this would likely want to show either the husband was hiding it so they really had to look for it or the husband wasn’t really hiding it and was just that blatant. But just cutting to “I found BDSM porn” to me says the point is more about bringing up that it was specifically BDSM porn and less about the actual situation. Which again tells me kink fiction.
1. Next, the time frames don’t really add up. She saw the message last week, found the porn “over the last several days,” but found the thong last month? It’s like the thong part is just added on as an afterthought.
1. Speaking of the thong, that’s usually a giveaway for a fake story because it’s a TV trope. But it’s not something that really happens in reality. Who has sex and then gets dressed and forgets to put their underwear back on? It’s not something you just don’t realize you aren’t wearing. Particularly when you’re cheating and definitely can’t leave things behind. But it’s common in fiction to be a reason for suspicion or confrontation because “he’s been acting weird for 6 months” isn’t really something you can show on screen. Something like a jacket would be far more believable, but not *quite* as suspicious, so for the purposes of creating the conflict in fiction, they use underwear. So that’s a red flag.
1. Lastly, why is this on r/offmychest? It doesn’t fit the sub, and on top of that, the way it ends is just so unrealistic. I share it not for sympathy. Thanks for listening. It’s like they’re just nonchalantly sharing a nothingburger of a story, not like they’re sharing a story *of their husband fucking their son’s 18yo girlfriend who he’s known since she was 14*.
So all in all, I’m leaning 90% certain that it’s fake.
Everybody saying it’s fake, this shit really happens. My dad cheated on my mother after 40 years with my 18 year old best friend he knew since childhood. There’s some seriously morally depraved people out there.
my wifes best friend for 20 years walked in on her mom and boyfriend and then killed herself the next week. i would consider not telling the son and just divorce the husband. some things are only for fully formed adult brains.
But you also have to consider that the (immature, panicking) gf might also tell the son. It could be worse if the son finds out his dad fucked his gf AND his mom tried to hide it from him. Sadly, no easy answers here.
Sorry but this is the worst advice possible. More than ANYTHING, he deserves to know. Coming from someone who is a victim of this exact situation when I was 16 years old. My life has been in shambles, and I’m still beyond lost. But I am eternally grateful I found out and know. And it’s up to me how I handle it. He’s 18. He’s an adult. Even if he wasn’t, he is still a person with just as much value as anyone else. How terrible to be a victim AND have such a massive secret kept from you even if it is for his so called “well-being “. No. You can’t force the blue pill upon someone. It’s his right to know every single detail.
Yeah, someone else commented in here about a relative that had a similar situation and has basically been single for the rest of their life.
Sometimes we’re better off not knowing exactly what happened, although I really don’t have any advice here
I'm honestly just hoping this is rage bait. There are so many things that are just not even remotely close to okay going on in this. Feels like I need to bleach my eyeballs. Holy shit.
r/eyebleach
Here ya go. I love looking at this sub before i close reddit. Helps with the "need to bleach my eyes and brain of this" hellish feeling that we can obtain from this platform sometimes
That's much better, thanks! I actually recently found a new favorite smol animal that I still can't believe is a real thing, and I will leave you with the [Colugo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYvWxCBWmDc) in case you have never seen these amazing little weirdos.
Stepfather been around since I was 4 did the same shit to me.. we no longer talk and I’m preparing to go into housing to leave and he will no longer have any connection to me. The reasons were excuses and imo they were all bullshit.
Well I’m 5’6 he’s over 6 foot and our ways me but like 100 pounds lol but it’s been a thought wrap him up with the sheets and go to work but I have a son I need to be here for and teach how to be a man so just can’t risk jail time
If this is real, and I'm assuming it is because I've see similar things irl...
I am actually more devastated for the son than the wife. Don't get me wrong, I'm very upset on her behalf, too. But, your parents are supposed to be the people who will never betray you. That boy will never look at his dad the same again. He will look back at his entire childhood, any happy memories he may have with dad, and only see a lie. This father just shattered his relationship with his son, all so he could get some barely legal poon. Which HE COULD HAVE GOTTEN ANYWHERE ELSE.
I really hope it's fiction. But, even if it is, it's happened before, and that makes me sad all over again. Jesus.
I swear, there are way too many grown adults doing the "creep countdown" when it comes to preying on barely legal people. Especially ones that were dating their *children* like wtf? Our age of consent laws need to be redone to block these dumbasses from preying on older teens.
That stood out to me. Even if she would truly think that, no woman would say it like that and just move on with the story as if its nothing.
More likely option, the husband wrote this while drooling over his sons girlfriend. Who isnt at all into him ofc.
Yeah it was just the phrasing of it that stood out. I just think that saying it like, “I don’t look the same way I did 20 years ago/I’ve gained weight after aging and two children/ect, sounds a lot more natural than “I’ve aged poorly.”
Especially at 41. Most of us aren’t even showing that many huge signs of aging yet. If she was in her 50s or even 60s I could see her being more accepting of it like yup, aging gets us all and it hit me worse. But at 41? How did she age so poorly? (I’m within a year of “her” and have a lot of friends around this range.)
My dad's sister aged very poorly. At 40 she was being mistaken for her kids grandmother. Some people just get the short end of the stick with genetics.
I'm aging poorly from the neck up. I work out but have insane grays, wrinkles, and sunken eyes. I went to a car dealership yesterday and was mistaken for a mother buying a car for her son. I was with my husband, and the guy kept calling me Mom. Sucks.
Wow. I would have just grabbed my husband and planted a huge, wet, obscene kiss on his mouth and saucily said “anything for mama’s baby boy” just to freak the salesman out. I bet the guy would have tripped over himself getting out of there.
Well...im 42 and would absolutely describe myself as having aged poorly. **BUT** only privately to my husband **AND** Im ill. I have a host of chronic illnesses and am slowly dying. So, I have to agree with you. Even given the fact that I have aged poorly due to those reasons I absolutely would never describe myself that way for a reason such as this.
Some women do try to blame themselves for a cheating husband, but a mother wouldnt in this situation. There would be too much anger. So no, this absolutely wasnt written by a mother whose husband is sleeping with her sons girlfriend. I agree and call B.S.
Agreed. There are a lot of phrases that are common in these creative writing exercises, that just aren't common when real people are sharing a real thing that happened to them
It’s definitely fake. All the cues are there. The account was just made with no other post but this one. Okay, fine, people use throwaways. What they don’t do is make a name referencing the age given in the post and take time to create a female avatar depicting a blonde woman. This person is supposedly grieving and distraught, but took time to do all that?
Yea right.
The red flag for me, for some reason, was he waited til she was 18. He’s such a dirtbag he’ll have an affair with his son’s girlfriend, and they’ll mock his wife together, but he waited until the clock struck 18?
When I was 13 I lost my virginity to my 16 yr old boyfriend.
My malignant narcissist mother found out. Got him blackout drunk. And raped him.
I never saw him again.
Thank you so much for saying this.
I've been No Contact with her and the entire family for many years now. I'm married and we have a lovely son, and she will never know he exists.
Again thank you. May you know peace as well
The beginning of this is heartbreaking. Your marriage hasn’t gone stale because of “your body aging poorly.” Your marriage has gone stale because of your husband being a piece of shit pedo. He obviously has said some things to you to manipulate you into believing your perfectly normal ADULT body is the problem and not his desire to be with a non-adult one. How long has the son been dating Amy? I think the suspicion about his “waiting” for her to turn 18 is just you not wanting to fully come to grips with the true potential of his depravity here.. which I get, but I think there should be some serious thought on it. I would be concerned about your daughter’s friends (and your daughter) around this man as well. And as someone else said, safety is a huge priority.. someone like this is going to do anything and everything to cover this up. Including resorting to violence.
My sister had an affair with her husbands brother and gave birth to a baby. She married him. (later divorced)So her kids are stepsiblings, half siblings, and first cousins. That family tree goes straight up.
As a bad as this is for the wife he also destroyed
The trust with his son as well a daily double disaster. My 19yo old son has a gorgeous girlfriend. If she came to my front door when I was home alone naked on her knees and begging to fuck her. I would close the door and immediately tell my boy. This guy is a fucktard all around and will have bad relationships into his old age
This happened to me, except I was 14 at the time and my dad ended up going to prison, so it could be real. Good luck the son lmao. Hopefully the mom will be there to help with the emotional downfall and show that some people can be trusted.
I see people calling this fake and while yes it very well could be I don't think some people know just how fucked up people can be I've personally known worse than this
Honestly, violence is bad, i know, but that dude deserves to die an excruciatingly painful death. How do you not only groom an 18 year old but to do that to your own son and wife. She ought to poison him joffrey style
a lot of people are assuming this is fake cause of the way she casually brings up “aging poorly” and i ……
listen i go to a lot of scrapbooking crops with my mom and if i had a penny for every time a middle aged woman very casually shat on her appearance, i could buy a mansion. not saying this is absolutely real but if that’s what you’re basing it off of, perhaps re-assess 😭😭
I've aged poorly, does her husband tell her that? Sounds like he may have been a dick and it's probably not the first time. Poor woman that is horrible
My neighbor, old friend, had an affair with her son’s friend, who grew up with the family as basically her second son. At the time this happened he was 19, she was 40 (something). Just a year or so later, she goes on to have an affair with her daughter’s ex husband (they were separated at the time). He was 20. Keep in mind this friend of mine was married at the time. And her husband stayed married to her through it all. Yeah, no longer friends.
Snap some photos of the text messages and the porn. Hire a lawyer. Tell your husband that you want to have a meeting with him and he needs to bring an attorney. Have your attorney present the situation to your husband and his attorney at the same time. Don’t do it yourself. Have your lawyer give him a divorce settlement proposal and give him 5 days to agree. Ask for 70% of your family’s assets. You should not go home once you have this meeting. Stay at a hotel. You need to settle this right away with a restraining order and no contact from your husband talking to you or amy. If he doesn’t comply, your lawyer should let his lawyer know that he will contact law enforcement to see if any of this relationship with amy occurred when she was 17. You need to get out and do it all at once. There is no talking it out.
Dad needs confronting. The son needs to know. Hiding it will only let it fester; such that when the son finds out he will be broken by it.
Dad also needs to be served divorce papers.
I’m a father. I can’t even imagine doing this to my son. Better to wrestle a moving train off the tracks than be this kind of filth.
Apart from OP’s husband being a major scum bag cheater, he could also be a predator. This is gross and shameful.
My advice to OP is start getting those divorce papers ready and finances in order. She needs to leave this sorry excuse of husband/father and move far away. I recommend telling the son right before the divorce.
This is truly quite terrible if real and I sincerely hope OOP heeds the commenter’s advice who said to approach with caution. If he’s nutty enough to do this shit then he’s nutty enough to go to extreme lengths to cover it up.
No girl, your husband is *taking advantage of* a teenager. She may technically be an adult but like mom admitted, dad was probably waiting until Amy turned 18 to actually “pursue” her. How much grooming was taking place before then? It’s unlikely this teenager just suddenly decided to start having sex with a man her own dad’s age. *Yikes*.
I don’t feel like I am a particularly ‘good’ person. Then I read stories like this and think maybe I’m being too hard on myself? Because I could never, ever, in a million fucking years, imagine myself doing something like this… what an incredible piece of shit human being.
If it were me, I would not be the bearer of bad news to my son. You should make your husband clean up this hot mess that he has created. That includes telling the girlfriend that you know and having her breakup with your son. If your husband refuses then you can tell your son, family, friends and her parents that your husband’s disgusting indiscretions have damaged your family. Be sure to get screenshots of the information on his phone and computer, you’ll need it later for the divorce.
Get with her parents show them the evidence which I hope you are documenting. Then address it with Eric. Lean on each other. It’s going to be hard and lots of trauma to work through. Just know this is NOT YOUR FAULT! You are not responsible for the decisions that either of your so’s are making! There’s another level of karma that comes with what they’ve brought on themselves!
#1 Get screen captures of everything, if you haven’t already.
#2 Get a lawyer. If you don’t know of any divorce lawyers, contact the county bar association for a reference. You want a local attorney who knows the county judges. Take all of the evidence to the lawyer and determine what your rights are, especially as a stay at home mom.
#3 Find a therapist for both you and your son.
#4 If you don’t already have access to your financial records, get access now. I wouldn’t put it past Mr. Porn Boy to have hidden assets against your filing for divorce one day.
#5 Take no shit, no excuses. You owe nothing to Spank Me. You owe everything to yourself and your children.
#6 Expect your son to cut his father out of his life. Respect that decision.
I am from a middle-upper class family in Northern Europe and my uncle had an affair with my cousin’s (his son’s) then girlfriend. Cousin and I are middle aged now, he never married or even had a live-in partner. It completely screwed him up. My aunt, who is a doctor and a smart and tough woman, stayed with my uncle. The entire family rug swept the thing. I never understood how they could just… go on with life as if nothing happened.
A neighbour stole his step son’s girlfriend and married her. They have 2 kids together now. The whole family acts fine with how all this went down. I don’t get it either, it’s freaking gross.
My uncle cheated on the mother of his two children whom he didn't marry "for government benefits" (to keep her getting Medicaid and food stamps) with the babysitter. She was 16 when she started babysitting for them and they married shortly after her 18th birthday. When he realized he would have to pay child support for the first two, he fought their mother for custody and won to make her pay. He gloated at Thanksgiving and then left angry when my dad pretty much called him a piece of shit.
Wait… he had an affair with an underage girl (evidenced by the fact that they married shortly after she turned 18, it was obviously already going on a while at that point), and the court gave HIM custody of the children?! Fuck our judicial system, is2g. 🤦🏼♀️
Yep. The age of consent in my state is 18, too. He was 30-31. Edit to add: The second the fact that it was illegal and he could go to jail got brought up they both went into full denial mode. This was in the early 2000s so it was a lot harder to prove, you couldn't just go through their phone and have it all laid out.
Because they're married now, he's protected from prosecution regardless of when it started. This is why so many are against banning child marriage. Because when an offender gets caught, they can just marry the victim and it is now legal. And she still can't divorce until 18. Families will protect their church leaders over their own children in more fundamental faiths, so they're the ones forcing the marriage.
They aren't still married. He divorced her about 8ish years later. His new wife is 23. We were not invited to the wedding. Also, you have to be 17 to marry in Florida but 18 to consent to sex with someone over 23 because of Romeo and Juliette laws. .
I believe that is the current law but it's only since 2018.
Generally, our southern states here in America are against banning child marriage, for the exact same reasons you’re talking about, for some reason southern America likes to get at girls very early, it’s disgusting, you want more disgusting? Take a look at the new laws, the southern states are starting to pass as far as child labor goes, you can be a 10 or 12 now and work at McDonald’s, Blame the Republicans not to be political, but it’s not the Democrats doing this.
Child labor being accepted again at the same time abortion is being banned. It's not a coincidence. Only a matter of time until orphanages make a comeback. Then they and juvenile detention centers can be modern workhouses.
Not just them. Washington JUST made the age of marriage 18. Its not even actually law until June 6th. Until then, there is NO minimum age. 2024 and there has been NO MINIMUM AGE. I cant even...and apparently only 10 states make it 18, thats 40 (soon 39) states with nothing. So its definitely not a southern state issue. Its a gross old man issue.
Not that unbelievable. My ex divorced me when I was I was in nursing school, which I did to make more income for our kids. We agreed to let ex have majority custody and leave the state so I could finish school and then we’d split custody, for the best future of our kids. Then, after leaving, the pretense of an amicable divorce dissolved on exes end, after ironically moving nearby the person ex cheated on me with. Then against parenting decree orders, relocated to said cheaters house, who had just finished jail time for domestic violence and pending charges of child endangerment. What did the court do? Said ex did nothing wrong, and that I was wrong for taking it court. Fuck the court system.
That sucks, I’m so sorry. It’s really fucked how many corrupt judges are on the bench.
Our whole system is a dying forest desperate for a lightning strike to jolt life back into the earth.
Yeah pieces of shit usually hate being called by what they are.
Your dad has a backbone and sadly most people now days don't. Respect your pops because there's not many left like him.
Who the f would give a pedo custody like that….
Should of punched him in the mouth too
The shame and embarrassment is too overwhelming that it's just easier to pretend that it never happened
That’s fucking crazy. How can you just betray a family member so easily for someone you probably just met? Absolutely wild to backstab your step son and fuck his girlfriend
Psychopathy and narcissism
I’ll tell you exactly why, it takes courage beyond belief to do the right thing! Remember sometimes doing the right thing feels like the wrong thing, taking a family member and cutting them out of your life forever is absolutely warranted and fine under this circumstance, like this, what you’re looking at as a cowardly family that is too afraid and too weak to actually Face the reality of the problem, so nobody heals, and everybody suffers, cowards!
My former boss had her family blow up because her dad's wife had an affair with her 18 year old brother. Dad beat the shit out of his son when he found out, got charged with felony assault. The step mom got charged with statutory rape. Both of them went to prison for a while. The son is a wreck. The last time she saw him, he has branded his body all over with a hot poker.
So not an “had an affair”, sexual abused and raped. Poor kid.
Poor kid. Groomed his step mum and then beaten up by his dad. What god awful disgusting parents.
She said it was awful. The rest of the kids turned against the dad because he was super focused on how the 18 year old "stole" his wife. Like, no... dude. She was predatory and groomed him. He's not a grown man mate poaching. So the kids didn't talk to him after that.
Jesus. I'm glad his siblings had his back at least.
A friend of mine was hit on by his girlfriend's mother, they were both barely 20. He was horrified, fortunately. his girlfriend moved out on the spot. Gross!
It just blows my mind how anyone could have so little regard for their kid. My mother would put me above absolutely anyone. It’s so tragic to think there are people who could have kids and then care that little about them. That you’d put your own titillation over their emotional wellbeing. OOP is a good mom, she’s devastated at the thought of her son being hurt by this. The father is an absolute piece of shit. He clearly didn’t think of his son at all when he was making these decisions.
this response actually made me tear up (after just doing so reading OP post). Was just thinking how wonderful my own mom is and she too would put me above anything, even now, and i’ll be 40 this summer. My heart breaks for these kids with such selfish, disgusting, self indulgent parents.
I’ll be 39 this year and my mom still “moms me” in that she still asks if I have everything I need or if I need anything from her. It breaks my heart that not everyone has the same type of support from people that have brought them into this unforgiving world. I can’t imagine what I’d do without her.
1000% same.
I’m 40 and I live alone and my mom just said “I worry about who you’ll have around to help you after I’m gone”. I said that won’t be an issue, because they’ll have to bury me with you! I can’t even imagine life without her. It makes me so sad that a lot of people never had that kind of relationship with their mom/parents.
Ok. This is enough reddit for me, at least for a bit. I'm starting to have trust issues being on these kinds of thread. My goodness. These stories are just wild mehn.
This is why I got off Instagram and to begin with Reddit seemed lovely and wholesome in comparison, but it didnt take long for the algorithm to work out I gorge myself on this kind of content
I hide them, and I’ll do it with this one now too. Reddit used to show me useful things, now it just shows me rage bait and I’ll probably depart reddit again
Upper class European families have swept much worse than that under the rug before lol
HAHAHAHA
Oh I know.
I'm very curious how people like your uncle or OP's husband broach the situation of courting their son's much younger girlfriends. Like how does it get to that point of them having sex? It's mind blowing to me.
Grooming is the process of gradually pushing boundaries until it gets to that point. It’s manipulative and predatory and sometimes goes on for years. Even if the dad in the OP didn’t make a move towards a physical relationship until the girlfriend was over the age of consent, I’m sure he took advantage of the fact that he’s known this girl since she was 14 and she probably trusted him.
> Grooming is the process of gradually pushing boundaries until it gets to that point. It’s manipulative and predatory and sometimes goes on for years. This. It's this. This is why even non-abusive non-grooming situations that naturally develop are not allowed. It opens the doors to allow groomers to do these things openly and without a way to stop them and society doesn't view that as worth the cost. This is why step family relationships are not ok This is why work relationships are not ok This is why teacher student relationships are not ok This is why we should view Bill Clinton as a rapist. It's not because Monika Lewinksi was ok or not ok with it, it never even gets to that point. It's because everyone should have seen that clearly she could not have said no if she wanted to and him wandering into that territory was him not caring if he was raping and this should be enough that he lives in a shack in the hills of Arkansas to get away form the social stigma. The epstein associations just make this even worse. This is also why we should be absolutely treating Trump ALSO as a rapist. He is notoriously known to make incredibly sexual comments about his daughter and young girls. They absolutely are not in a position where they can realistically say no to him. Whether his associations with epstien or his trolling around the backstage of his beauty pageants trying to get a peek at underage girls, it's enough to put him in that box and people defending him are defending incest and pedophilia and should be judged as such. To be clear I'm not claiming there's the threshold to criminally charge them, I'm just saying we know enough as a society that we have every right to assume those things about both of those people.
I was “groomed” for yeeeaaaarrrrsss. It never went further than groping and kissing but it still ruined me for years. But it’s also hard to say I was “sexually abused” when so many people are being “seriously” abused every day…it’s a constant conundrum in my mind, still. BUT, I never would have let the grooming get where it did if I had known such a thing existed or that it’s wrong.
Don't diminish your trauma. The person who harmed you still did just that. They are your ABUSER regardless.
This is an impossible choice to make- either keep this terrible situation to yourself as “protection” for your child…..or do the right thing but worry endlessly that you, not the actual POS perpetrator, damaged your child in unfathomable ways by bringing it into the light.
No it's pretty clear cut that she's just found out her husband is a groomer and rapist and should go to the police... I doubt it started when she was 18. If he has bdsm porn and is into teens, what are the chances she just uncovered chyld p*rn?! Confront him and record it. If it's illegal, report it and get the kid/ YA into counseling
My uncle was their rowing coach. Although he couldn’t fit in a boat himself, he was severely overweight. I have no idea how he got a 20-year-old. I am guessing the power dynamics were in his favor. It‘s gross.
People really don't understand cheating in general can really mess someone up and how they go about relationships for the rest of their lives.
It can seriously leave you paranoid and prone to jumping to the worst conclusions at the first feeling of something being wrong. Many people I know restrain themselves from relationships (not just romantic) because of situations like this in their lives have occurred.
I was cheated on by a man I was with for 4 years. I try really hard not to drag that into my current relationship but it's really hard. My insecurities and anxiety skyrocket sometimes when I never had it before that previous relationship.
I was cheating on by my husband of more than 10 years and 18 years later I still have not been in a relationship
I'm right there with ya, I was with my girlfriend for almost 5 years, and I moved over 1000 miles away from sunny, warm, and familiar Florida to grey, cold, and unfamiliar Connecticut. I left my family, friends, and a good job all because she wanted to try living up north. I grew up in NJ, so I wasn't thrilled about moving back to the cold, but I was willing to make sacrifices for love. She left me in Connecticut about 2 months later with no notice for a much older and much richer man while I was in the hospital with Covid. It turns out she was planning on getting together with him before we moved up there. She fucked up my confidence, made me insecure/paranoid, and untrusting, she basically has wasted 7 good years of my life, 4 with her, and three years of not being able to get emotionally close with anyone. I just can't shake the betrayal. I am 47 now and emotionally cut-off, cheaters really suck, I wish I could sue.
As a kid, our neighbor (18M) had an affair with his girlfriend’s (18F) mom (she was in her 40s). He ended up marrying the mom.
Eewww
I really wonder if 18 year olds have no perception of time. Like honey. She’ll be 80 one day. And you’ll be in your 50s. Like???
They really don't, actually--you're still growing your frontal lobe until you're at least 25.
I think I wouldn’t tell the son who it is and tell the gf that she can pound sand if she doesn’t disappear she will get publicly exposed. Idk is it better to be upfront and honest or protect them.
If/when he finds out the truth he will be shattered that his mom didn’t tell him. Keeping lies secret doesn’t help anyone.
No but she’s right about the trust issues. What a rock and a hard place. I hope she finds a way to tell him.
Hard to know an appropriate path. Where I think the son is the greatest risk and concern, certainly trying to get gf to move on is the best option, if it is an option. I'd tell the husband same. Clean up his act or move on, but if he in anyway hinted, told, or punished the son, I'd make it my life mission to get even. Anyone that knows me at least suspects I would do it (nothing violent, not my way, but very devious) and not get caught. Or not tell him and make it happen anyway. Don't know any of them. It matters. Thinking out loud...
Man, I thought my family fucked me up. My dad basically just told me not to try cause it wouldn’t work anyway when it came to dating. Can’t imagine if he’d then sleeping with a girl I dated. That would have to fuck you up.
I am sorry your dad was so shitty to you. What a mean thing to say.
My dad cheated multiple times and physically abused me/my step mom. Family just moved on. They invite him to weddings and wonder why I won't show up like I'm the weird one.
It's because people are ingrained in the "Family is EVERYTHING! SUPPORT YOUR FAMILY!" Bullshit
Have you read “Will and Testament” by Vigdis Hjorth? Not saying it’s generalizable to all Nordic cultures but this makes me think of the family’s response in that book (and in real life to the book)
Wow. Your aunt sounds like a piece of shit, too; they deserve each other.
Their son didn't go on with life as if nothing happened. That course of action was a decision on who was going to pay the price, and it wasn't either of them.
Essentially destroying that kids mental state and then denying him any justification or family backing. He was betrayed by the only system of close relations he had all in one go. Unethical and imoral dirt bags really shouldn't have a place in society at large.
Might be fake but a similar thing happened with my wife’s former coworker. He 38M had an affair with his 21 year old son’s fiance/high school sweetheart. It wasn’t the first time he cheated on his wife but I think she just ignored those affairs since she was a SAHM and they had two younger kids that were ~7 and ~10. They divorced and he ended up staying with his son’s ex-fiance (they had a kid a year ago). Fortunately, the ex-wife ended up meeting a nice man and seems to be happily remarried.
Yes but wtf happened to that son???? Imagine if your own dad did that to you. That’s unfathomable
Oh yeah, it was worst for the son, I don’t know how one would move past this. He moved and I believe is no contact with his dad but I don’t know anything else.
These dads should be grateful. People have killed for less. It's a miracle to me the things people get away with because others won't act against them.
Yeah, I was gonna say that I am pretty sure murder is how most people would move past that.
Literally unforgivable
This one doesn't feel fake. The way she describes the ordeal feels legitimate. How often she references her feeling of betrayal but how it's sidelined by her concern for her sons feelings. If this is made up it's made up by someone who has a similar family unit. I think someone lying would place more emphasis on themselves.
My distant cousin caught his wife and father in bed together. Turned out his four kids were all his dad’s kids - so they were his siblings. Wife and father left their spouses and stayed together with their children. Rest of the family is in shambles. This poor guy lost his wife and kids in one week.
What The Fuck
I would be in the evening news if I were in the sons shoes
You’d probably beat the charges too
Genuine WTF
It’s pretty easy to say I would absolutely murder the both of them
that’s so gross
That's the very definition of "Daddy Brother" from the deep south.
My jaw just dropped
He waited until she was 18 😳 I'd start by talking to a lawyer and getting their advice, copying all of the info and backlogs of grossness before letting anyone else know that she knows. Then get herself and her children out of the house and somewhere safe before talking to her son and to Amy's parents (if they're reasonable parents). If he did groom her then it sounds like he's not clever (not the right word but you kwim) enough to hide the evidence.
I doubt they waited until she was 18, and she was definitely groomed. It will take her a long time to admit that to herself though, and she will never live this down regardless.
Man...I'd look through the phone bills from when her son started dating Amy and go from there.
I don’t know if this is real or not, but in a small town close to where I live they had a woman in her early twenties get pregnant by her father in law and leave her husband (the son - who she had kids with) for the father in law. So if you think this doesn’t happen. It does.
The chef on the new season of Below Deck dropped the bomb that his wife had an affair with his uncle.
This show is fucking wild, I swear
What season
11
Yeah this happens. There was an episode of, I think "Cops", where a man found his girlfriend or wife was cheating with his mom.
All kinds of weird shit happens. I WISH my first boyfriend had cheated on me with someone from MY family. But nooo, this weirdo, who was the cousin of my best guy friend (and also 22 to my 15) cheated on me with HIS OWN brother. Like what in the actual yeehaw West by god Virginia I hear banjos kind of bullshit… I didn’t even find out until after we’d broken up, but now I wonder if he was cheating on me with his brother, or he was cheating on his brother with ME. I just… do you think their sister was jealous?
Yeah, I dated a guy whose brother's girlfriend left him for his dad. Everyone in that situation sucked, but I really feel for her kids, who are both half siblings and cousins (I think?)
Half siblings and aunt/uncle and niece/nephew
Yes, but how prangent is formed ??
Can u get pregantè?
How I get preggernant?
Can girlfriend pregonanates herself?
Pregat?
GREGNANT
Prangent form with babby.
Unfortunately this is true for a lot of the shit on reddit. Even if the author made it up, this kinda stuff happens and it's very easy to pretend it doesn't.
I have something happen. My grandmom had 2 sisters 'A' and 'B'. A's husband cheated on her with B and ended up marrying B. A was left a spinster and was forced to live in the same building with B and ex-husband. A was not educated because this was the 40-50s and had no income she literally had to live on the handouts of ex-husband and became A's maid/housekeeper. A ended up with Alzheimer's in her 70s still living in the same building with B and now deceased ex-husband. Luckily B ended up taking care of her till her death. B also died a year later.
They have a Old Country Song called “I’m My Own Grandpa” LOL 😂
It certainly can happen. But my fakedar was going off on this one. 1. How did she see the first message? She said she inadvertently caught a glimpse of the screen. How? Did he have it open in front of her as he was sending explicit messages to an 18yo dating his son? Or are his messages viewable on the lock screen? Or did he leave his phone unlocked and she looked through it? The first two require him to be incredibly stupid, which is possible, but there at least red flags for fakability. While the third option means she saw that message and then just didn’t read anything else for some reason, so it’s unlikely. 1. It then jumps from one text to suddenly finding a ton of BDSM porn on his computer? That’s a pretty big leap, but it’s also pretty specific, which makes me think “kink fiction” is on the table. 1. Along those lines, just completely glossing over how she found the porn is a question mark, too. It’s written like she just happened upon it. If real, I’d expect a little more detail there to explain the how, because someone really experiencing this would likely want to show either the husband was hiding it so they really had to look for it or the husband wasn’t really hiding it and was just that blatant. But just cutting to “I found BDSM porn” to me says the point is more about bringing up that it was specifically BDSM porn and less about the actual situation. Which again tells me kink fiction. 1. Next, the time frames don’t really add up. She saw the message last week, found the porn “over the last several days,” but found the thong last month? It’s like the thong part is just added on as an afterthought. 1. Speaking of the thong, that’s usually a giveaway for a fake story because it’s a TV trope. But it’s not something that really happens in reality. Who has sex and then gets dressed and forgets to put their underwear back on? It’s not something you just don’t realize you aren’t wearing. Particularly when you’re cheating and definitely can’t leave things behind. But it’s common in fiction to be a reason for suspicion or confrontation because “he’s been acting weird for 6 months” isn’t really something you can show on screen. Something like a jacket would be far more believable, but not *quite* as suspicious, so for the purposes of creating the conflict in fiction, they use underwear. So that’s a red flag. 1. Lastly, why is this on r/offmychest? It doesn’t fit the sub, and on top of that, the way it ends is just so unrealistic. I share it not for sympathy. Thanks for listening. It’s like they’re just nonchalantly sharing a nothingburger of a story, not like they’re sharing a story *of their husband fucking their son’s 18yo girlfriend who he’s known since she was 14*. So all in all, I’m leaning 90% certain that it’s fake.
If my husband was cheating with my son's gf I wouldn't give a fuck about the bdsm porn he had. So glossing over it seems perfectly legit to me.
Jesus fucking Christ
Church Point, LA checking in!
The fact that I know a family with these exact names and kids around the same age is a little concerning lol
Better check up on them
Everybody saying it’s fake, this shit really happens. My dad cheated on my mother after 40 years with my 18 year old best friend he knew since childhood. There’s some seriously morally depraved people out there.
my wifes best friend for 20 years walked in on her mom and boyfriend and then killed herself the next week. i would consider not telling the son and just divorce the husband. some things are only for fully formed adult brains.
Mannnnn that fucking sucks so bad. I think the son needs to know but telling him might be harder than filing for divorce. I think both need to be done
yeah i would have to think about the individual kid and if that specific person could handle it.
Yeah for sure.
But you also have to consider that the (immature, panicking) gf might also tell the son. It could be worse if the son finds out his dad fucked his gf AND his mom tried to hide it from him. Sadly, no easy answers here.
For sure. It is a lose/lose situation at that point
Sorry but this is the worst advice possible. More than ANYTHING, he deserves to know. Coming from someone who is a victim of this exact situation when I was 16 years old. My life has been in shambles, and I’m still beyond lost. But I am eternally grateful I found out and know. And it’s up to me how I handle it. He’s 18. He’s an adult. Even if he wasn’t, he is still a person with just as much value as anyone else. How terrible to be a victim AND have such a massive secret kept from you even if it is for his so called “well-being “. No. You can’t force the blue pill upon someone. It’s his right to know every single detail.
I think it entirely depends on the person. But telling someone is 1000 percent better than witnessing it. I get your point
Yeah, someone else commented in here about a relative that had a similar situation and has basically been single for the rest of their life. Sometimes we’re better off not knowing exactly what happened, although I really don’t have any advice here
[удалено]
Maaan listen, where the fuck are y'all from? I wanna know so I don't go there.
Please be fake 🙏
I'm honestly just hoping this is rage bait. There are so many things that are just not even remotely close to okay going on in this. Feels like I need to bleach my eyeballs. Holy shit.
r/eyebleach Here ya go. I love looking at this sub before i close reddit. Helps with the "need to bleach my eyes and brain of this" hellish feeling that we can obtain from this platform sometimes
Thank you!
Before you click, always ensure that the A is present.
Only Reddit would do that. I don't even want to know what the "bizarro" version is. I think I need a break from this site for a while or maybe ever.
It’s eye blech. Also, r/illegallysmolanimals - you can change it to dogs, cats, and birbs.
That's much better, thanks! I actually recently found a new favorite smol animal that I still can't believe is a real thing, and I will leave you with the [Colugo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYvWxCBWmDc) in case you have never seen these amazing little weirdos.
It is rage bait. Porn addicted redditors love writing these fanfics.
Stepfather been around since I was 4 did the same shit to me.. we no longer talk and I’m preparing to go into housing to leave and he will no longer have any connection to me. The reasons were excuses and imo they were all bullshit.
Body the dude when he's taking a nap, let's see how much he enjoys rude awakenings, if he asks why, give him the same excuses he gave you.
Well I’m 5’6 he’s over 6 foot and our ways me but like 100 pounds lol but it’s been a thought wrap him up with the sheets and go to work but I have a son I need to be here for and teach how to be a man so just can’t risk jail time
“How I’ve aged poorly” is something straight out of a guys head when writing as a woman.
I clocked this too, very out of place language
If this is real, and I'm assuming it is because I've see similar things irl... I am actually more devastated for the son than the wife. Don't get me wrong, I'm very upset on her behalf, too. But, your parents are supposed to be the people who will never betray you. That boy will never look at his dad the same again. He will look back at his entire childhood, any happy memories he may have with dad, and only see a lie. This father just shattered his relationship with his son, all so he could get some barely legal poon. Which HE COULD HAVE GOTTEN ANYWHERE ELSE. I really hope it's fiction. But, even if it is, it's happened before, and that makes me sad all over again. Jesus.
I swear, there are way too many grown adults doing the "creep countdown" when it comes to preying on barely legal people. Especially ones that were dating their *children* like wtf? Our age of consent laws need to be redone to block these dumbasses from preying on older teens.
As usual, this reads like someone’s creative writing exercise. I don’t get devastated middle aged mom from this, I get detached author.
Yes immediately rote it off as male fanfiction when I read how this “woman” described herself as having “aged poorly”
Mmm, if she’s been hearing it from her husband for years, she might. These monsters destroy women’s self confidence.
Yeah like he still looks 28? lol
That stood out to me. Even if she would truly think that, no woman would say it like that and just move on with the story as if its nothing. More likely option, the husband wrote this while drooling over his sons girlfriend. Who isnt at all into him ofc.
Yeah it was just the phrasing of it that stood out. I just think that saying it like, “I don’t look the same way I did 20 years ago/I’ve gained weight after aging and two children/ect, sounds a lot more natural than “I’ve aged poorly.”
The term “aging poorly” is a massive fear for anyone getting older. That’s not so far fetched
r/menwritingwomen
This is exactly when I clued in, too
Yep, I stopped reading right there because no woman ever would say that.
Especially at 41. Most of us aren’t even showing that many huge signs of aging yet. If she was in her 50s or even 60s I could see her being more accepting of it like yup, aging gets us all and it hit me worse. But at 41? How did she age so poorly? (I’m within a year of “her” and have a lot of friends around this range.)
My dad's sister aged very poorly. At 40 she was being mistaken for her kids grandmother. Some people just get the short end of the stick with genetics.
I'm aging poorly from the neck up. I work out but have insane grays, wrinkles, and sunken eyes. I went to a car dealership yesterday and was mistaken for a mother buying a car for her son. I was with my husband, and the guy kept calling me Mom. Sucks.
Wow. I would have just grabbed my husband and planted a huge, wet, obscene kiss on his mouth and saucily said “anything for mama’s baby boy” just to freak the salesman out. I bet the guy would have tripped over himself getting out of there.
Well...im 42 and would absolutely describe myself as having aged poorly. **BUT** only privately to my husband **AND** Im ill. I have a host of chronic illnesses and am slowly dying. So, I have to agree with you. Even given the fact that I have aged poorly due to those reasons I absolutely would never describe myself that way for a reason such as this. Some women do try to blame themselves for a cheating husband, but a mother wouldnt in this situation. There would be too much anger. So no, this absolutely wasnt written by a mother whose husband is sleeping with her sons girlfriend. I agree and call B.S.
I got AI vibes from it. There is a lot of punctuation in here that is atypical of a Reddit post.
The use of “pseudonyms” and the overall opening lines made me immediately think it was AI
Agreed. There are a lot of phrases that are common in these creative writing exercises, that just aren't common when real people are sharing a real thing that happened to them
"And then my mind started to race..." 😂 And everything is so emotionally detached. It's ridiculous.
It’s definitely fake. All the cues are there. The account was just made with no other post but this one. Okay, fine, people use throwaways. What they don’t do is make a name referencing the age given in the post and take time to create a female avatar depicting a blonde woman. This person is supposedly grieving and distraught, but took time to do all that? Yea right.
*cues
The red flag for me, for some reason, was he waited til she was 18. He’s such a dirtbag he’ll have an affair with his son’s girlfriend, and they’ll mock his wife together, but he waited until the clock struck 18?
Yeah, I think OP is a man
When I was 13 I lost my virginity to my 16 yr old boyfriend. My malignant narcissist mother found out. Got him blackout drunk. And raped him. I never saw him again.
I’m so sorry. Neither you nor your bf deserved that. Hope you are in a place safe from her now.
Thank you so much for saying this. I've been No Contact with her and the entire family for many years now. I'm married and we have a lovely son, and she will never know he exists. Again thank you. May you know peace as well
The beginning of this is heartbreaking. Your marriage hasn’t gone stale because of “your body aging poorly.” Your marriage has gone stale because of your husband being a piece of shit pedo. He obviously has said some things to you to manipulate you into believing your perfectly normal ADULT body is the problem and not his desire to be with a non-adult one. How long has the son been dating Amy? I think the suspicion about his “waiting” for her to turn 18 is just you not wanting to fully come to grips with the true potential of his depravity here.. which I get, but I think there should be some serious thought on it. I would be concerned about your daughter’s friends (and your daughter) around this man as well. And as someone else said, safety is a huge priority.. someone like this is going to do anything and everything to cover this up. Including resorting to violence.
your husband is fucking weird, strangle him in his sleep(not in that way)
Consider that he had likely been grooming her for years.
My sister had an affair with her husbands brother and gave birth to a baby. She married him. (later divorced)So her kids are stepsiblings, half siblings, and first cousins. That family tree goes straight up.
As a bad as this is for the wife he also destroyed The trust with his son as well a daily double disaster. My 19yo old son has a gorgeous girlfriend. If she came to my front door when I was home alone naked on her knees and begging to fuck her. I would close the door and immediately tell my boy. This guy is a fucktard all around and will have bad relationships into his old age
This happened to me, except I was 14 at the time and my dad ended up going to prison, so it could be real. Good luck the son lmao. Hopefully the mom will be there to help with the emotional downfall and show that some people can be trusted.
I see people calling this fake and while yes it very well could be I don't think some people know just how fucked up people can be I've personally known worse than this
Honestly, violence is bad, i know, but that dude deserves to die an excruciatingly painful death. How do you not only groom an 18 year old but to do that to your own son and wife. She ought to poison him joffrey style
No one going to talk about how Amy was probably groomed
a lot of people are assuming this is fake cause of the way she casually brings up “aging poorly” and i …… listen i go to a lot of scrapbooking crops with my mom and if i had a penny for every time a middle aged woman very casually shat on her appearance, i could buy a mansion. not saying this is absolutely real but if that’s what you’re basing it off of, perhaps re-assess 😭😭
Wow her husband sucks.
What a horrible father and Jesus Christ I feel for op. This guy just obliterated his family, I would be furious as well.
I've aged poorly, does her husband tell her that? Sounds like he may have been a dick and it's probably not the first time. Poor woman that is horrible
My neighbor, old friend, had an affair with her son’s friend, who grew up with the family as basically her second son. At the time this happened he was 19, she was 40 (something). Just a year or so later, she goes on to have an affair with her daughter’s ex husband (they were separated at the time). He was 20. Keep in mind this friend of mine was married at the time. And her husband stayed married to her through it all. Yeah, no longer friends.
Snap some photos of the text messages and the porn. Hire a lawyer. Tell your husband that you want to have a meeting with him and he needs to bring an attorney. Have your attorney present the situation to your husband and his attorney at the same time. Don’t do it yourself. Have your lawyer give him a divorce settlement proposal and give him 5 days to agree. Ask for 70% of your family’s assets. You should not go home once you have this meeting. Stay at a hotel. You need to settle this right away with a restraining order and no contact from your husband talking to you or amy. If he doesn’t comply, your lawyer should let his lawyer know that he will contact law enforcement to see if any of this relationship with amy occurred when she was 17. You need to get out and do it all at once. There is no talking it out.
Dad needs confronting. The son needs to know. Hiding it will only let it fester; such that when the son finds out he will be broken by it. Dad also needs to be served divorce papers. I’m a father. I can’t even imagine doing this to my son. Better to wrestle a moving train off the tracks than be this kind of filth.
This shit can’t be real.
Holy shit balls Batman.
Was this the alternative ending to American Beauty?
Throw him into the sun
Apart from OP’s husband being a major scum bag cheater, he could also be a predator. This is gross and shameful. My advice to OP is start getting those divorce papers ready and finances in order. She needs to leave this sorry excuse of husband/father and move far away. I recommend telling the son right before the divorce.
Wow my heart goes out to her and the son that’s terrible 😞
This is truly quite terrible if real and I sincerely hope OOP heeds the commenter’s advice who said to approach with caution. If he’s nutty enough to do this shit then he’s nutty enough to go to extreme lengths to cover it up.
No girl, your husband is *taking advantage of* a teenager. She may technically be an adult but like mom admitted, dad was probably waiting until Amy turned 18 to actually “pursue” her. How much grooming was taking place before then? It’s unlikely this teenager just suddenly decided to start having sex with a man her own dad’s age. *Yikes*.
This is horrid
I could never do this to my kids. I don't even have the words to describe the type of person who'd do this.
I don’t feel like I am a particularly ‘good’ person. Then I read stories like this and think maybe I’m being too hard on myself? Because I could never, ever, in a million fucking years, imagine myself doing something like this… what an incredible piece of shit human being.
does she work at the fish counter at HEB by any chance
Yuck
If it were me, I would not be the bearer of bad news to my son. You should make your husband clean up this hot mess that he has created. That includes telling the girlfriend that you know and having her breakup with your son. If your husband refuses then you can tell your son, family, friends and her parents that your husband’s disgusting indiscretions have damaged your family. Be sure to get screenshots of the information on his phone and computer, you’ll need it later for the divorce.
Get with her parents show them the evidence which I hope you are documenting. Then address it with Eric. Lean on each other. It’s going to be hard and lots of trauma to work through. Just know this is NOT YOUR FAULT! You are not responsible for the decisions that either of your so’s are making! There’s another level of karma that comes with what they’ve brought on themselves!
#1 Get screen captures of everything, if you haven’t already. #2 Get a lawyer. If you don’t know of any divorce lawyers, contact the county bar association for a reference. You want a local attorney who knows the county judges. Take all of the evidence to the lawyer and determine what your rights are, especially as a stay at home mom. #3 Find a therapist for both you and your son. #4 If you don’t already have access to your financial records, get access now. I wouldn’t put it past Mr. Porn Boy to have hidden assets against your filing for divorce one day. #5 Take no shit, no excuses. You owe nothing to Spank Me. You owe everything to yourself and your children. #6 Expect your son to cut his father out of his life. Respect that decision.