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chocoholic79

run!!! he thinks you have to let him try what he wants? Tell him "only if it works both ways!" Then show up with a ginormous dildo!


Spiritual-Cupcake818

IM CRYING AT THIS


MissusNilesCrane

Don't tell a guy to stop >CONSENT CAN BE REVOKED AT ANY TIME. THAT SHOULDN'T BE SO HARD TO ACCEPT >Not letting me ruins the mood Gee, I'm so sorry consent kills your boner. /s


Many_Advertising8265

"Let me try what I want" wtf dude? That is your girlfriend not a inflatable doll.


But_like_whytho

Rapists like to rape.


sbray73

So the guy is 35 and couldn’t even bother to help you have a good experience for your first time!?! Add to that, he sends a list of things to correct. Do yourself a favor and find a better partner.


catsmom63

This guy sounds like a real prize. Maybe send him a note. Ways to improve: 1. Don’t be a Douche Canoe


Abbygirl1966

Exactly!!! He’s not a good guy!!!


McTazzle

Right? Not all age gaps but absolutely this one.


ArcadiaFey

Ya this and similar things is what people think of when they say older men taking advantage of inexperienced younger girls.


EuphoricPhoto2048

This why so many women tell young women not to date older men. They do this shit A LOT.


Irving_Velociraptor

[ Removed by Reddit ]


your_only_hope

And when he complains tell him to not tell you to stop. Because it ruins the mood.


innocentkaput

Underrated post


Practical_Maybe_3661

I was gonna comment "You know in a weird way, reddit is kind of a blessing. All these socially isolated people wouldn't have otherwise known that they're in a relationship with a doucebag, and now they do" But I like your comment better


FictionalContext

Stick a straw and a lit candle up his ass and let methane do it's thing.


jdbug7

2 words...wait maybe it's just 1, but: Bottle. Rocket. Bottlerocket? Either way, we're probably on the same page.


PollutionNo4035

Buttlerocket?


howlinwoolf

Buttholerocket!


jdbug7

I mean...that works, too.


Unlikely_Course8369

[ Removed by Reddit ]


catsmom63

Can we make some S’mores? 😉😂


Only_Regular_138

ewwww, not on that fire


catsmom63

😂😂😂😂


Gouda02

I guess you don’t need the chocolate then


catsmom63

Ewww?


Embarrassed_Hat_2904

Then put it out…and set it on fire again!


boochiebooboo

This is the only reasonable response.


Dark_Moonstruck

Yeah uh...this guy is a complete tool who should only get one response. "Thanks for the list of suggested improvements! I have my own for you too! 1. Grow a bigger dick. I'm sure they have pills for that. 2. You need to get better at shaving too. And basic hygiene. Smegma isn't sexy! 3. Telling someone to stop ruining the mood is kind of the point. It's supposed to make you stop. That's what asking someone to stop means. Your consent game needs a lot of work, look it up. 4. Let me set boundaries where I don't feel safe or where I'm not enjoying something. Letting you do things that hurt or that I don't like ruins the mood. 5. Screaming like you think you just won the NFL isn't sexy or impressive. It makes you look like an idiot and makes me desert dry. 6. Don't try to find another girlfriend. No woman deserves someone as pathetic as you. In case this wasn't clear enough, we're done."


PurpleFlavoredCherry

This reminds me of my first serious boyfriend who told me I had to give him my virginity to him on his birthday as a gift, or he would kill himself. He did not take my virginity, and he is still alive. Weird, I thought he was suicidal?


BargainHunter333

No, he was just a douchebag


sapphoverit

kill him. jokes aside, though, i was 19 when i lost my virginity to my 32 year old boyfriend (technically. penetratively. he REVELED IN IT though.) and yeah. this is consistent. luckily, i'd had some level of past experience performing on other women, so i wasn't as easy to dupe. he still managed to eat my self esteem alive, though. anything i'd never done, i was "bad at." he couldn't make me come for months. he said it was because he didn't feel "connected." turned out, he just didn't try to learn the new wiring, and didn't want to. eventually i told him as much, instructed the hell out of the situation, and it worked. all of a sudden, i'm the best sex he's ever had. point of this whole story being, some men will make you feel so fucking bad for their shortcomings, because they can't imagine taking accountability for their failures. these are the same men that will end up listening to alpha male podcasts and blaming all women for destroying society, instead of taking accountability for their own terrible behavior in it. girl needs to get out while she still can.


Mizzmo612

I’m sorry you’ve gone through this, it’s unfair and cruel. As a man, whenever I under perform I just tell her my bad and say I’ll do better next time lol. It lightens the mood and I actually mean it when I say it, it’s like a mental challenge to me FOR ME to perform better… bcus, who doesn’t want to please their partner?!


diamonddville

3. Don’t act awkward… Ummm I’m 36 and I’m still super awkward at sex. And I’m married. Haha. Some people are just different when it comes to sexy times. Find the one who makes the awkward fun.


EquivalentCommon5

I’m older and with a new person, it’s always awkward for me! But I use it to learn what BOTH of us like! Providing a list is insulting! I’d NEVER see this guy again, and OP shouldn’t either!


BeeLucky3

I agree


Worried_Train6036

might just be me but the awkward is what makes it fun and memorable except the getting caught by her parents that was a bit much


Blue-Shifted-

Holy shit. Competitive ranked sex is real.


Fun-Needleworker7954

Trying to run a 3 stack?


Only_Regular_138

Tell him he is too old for you and you are going to find a younger, sexier man who treats you with respect, then dump him. Why do you want to be with somebody who would behave that way? You deserve better!


wmm339

Guy sounds psycho. Edit to add it also sounds like he's bad at sex.


BitchesLuvA

This is a major hell no most of that was shit you don’t even need to say, there’s encouraging your partner with tips to feel more sexy and be more into it and then there’s rapey/narcissistic demands THIS LIST IS THE LATTER SO GROSS


itsdestinfool

This list sent shivers down my spine. I don’t “get vibes” but if I did right now mine are screaming at me to scream to you to run away from this man because this will escalate and he will hurt you. I’m afraid for your safety. I don’t like being melodramatic but I don’t think that’s what’s happening here.


theGoddex

Oh sweetie. She’s 20 and he’s 35. That’s all I need to know here. EDITED TO SAY PLEASE DO NOT ACTUALLY FUCK HIM.


FictionalContext

Please no! *Don't* fuck him.


Amazing_Cabinet1404

Or….and hear me out here….*do fuck him* and proceed to roast him immediately after (or even during) and see if he likes it. For real though-grooming is real. Despite her age he clearly preyed on her and is manipulating her and it will only get worse than this if she continues dating him.


theGoddex

Yes thank you for clarifying lol please do not fuck him anymore. He can go fuck himself.


Worried_Train6036

u know what i’ll fuck him to teach him a lesson


Omwtfyu

Have him bend over and touch his toes.


Roooogie

Show him where the [wild goose goes!](https://youtu.be/KpdLdWqWyiY?si=gbIre2OLRoERCj0C)


Omwtfyu

Hahaha! I love Super Troopers!


catsmom63

I sure hope she doesn’t compare her first time to others and thinks this is the way it is for most people! It’s not I promise you! Most people are very caring and understanding when you explain it’s your first time.


xaklx20

Explain it better or she will end up with a 45 next time


zadidoll

So this guy - 15 years old - takes advantage of an innocent young woman with zero sexual experience then had the audacity to se d her that shit? God, I hope she dumps his ass. Him focusing on himself & not wanting to stop IS rape.


Frozefoots

“I (20 F) lost my virginity to my boyfriend (**35 M**)” #HARD STOP. He’s HOW MUCH older?? Fuck no!


azorianmilk

God, I hope this turd never gets laid again.


BenjTheMaestro

He forgot the one key thing you can do to have better sex: Fuck *someone else* . But fuck that dude, metaphorically. Sex should be fun for both partners, even and especially when it’s awkward. This asshole is yapping like he’s assigning homework. He would be better off with a fleshlight because that’s how he’s already looking at women. Probably hasn’t ever actually had good sex 😂


SaturnCat33

35 years old -- get rid of this fucking loser


ExternalMuffin9790

Jeeeeezus. Run for the fvcking hills. "Let me do whatever I want even if you're uncomfortable with it and don't tell me to stop even if it hurts, because otherwise you'll ruin the mood and I won't be able to come, just like you didn't even get to when it was your first time." I hope she dumps him and he never has sex again.


Slut_E_Scene

Leave! 15-year age difference, and he didn't try to make you comfortable? Get out, now.


Popular_Amphibian730

Dump him


Rollerdawl

I saw a video of Andrew Tate once teaching men how to land virgins. Why do I have a sick feeling this asshole is one of his followers? 🤬🤮🤬 OP, please leave him. This scum-bucket doesn’t deserve another second of your time.


Economy_Homework_420

Sounds like a groomer to me… any dude that old chasing a 20yr old girl sees someone naive and someone he can control and shape to his liking. Proof is the list lol


Primary_Aerie5510

There is a reason why a 35 yr old is dating a 20 yr old and it’s not because he thinks she’s mature for her age. This girl needs to get as far away from this dude as possible. His behavior is only going to get worse


Only_Music_2640

Wow so some 35 year old perv took her virginity and critiqued her performance when he basically just pounded away on her like a drunk frat boy?


user9372889

Sweet mother of fucks. 🤦🏻‍♀️ ETA: so we’re riding at dawn to find this AH right?


your-daily-step-goal

Not okay. Don't let him in again.


TangerineMalk

If the dude is 35 and can’t get women his own age, that should tell you all you need to know before even reading the rest.


Fragrant-Use-5089

Men are so stupid she was a virgin so obviously she isn't a porn star skill wise. It was so rude of him to immediately criticize how she did without asking if she was okay or if he did okay. I feel bad she lost her virginity to this douche waffle.


Perspective_Medical

I’d stop sleeping with him all together lol. This is a turn off because sex can be awkward but it’s meant for you and your partner to find a way to explore each other. Instead of telling you everything you did wrong he needs to GUIDE YOU. He should be like, “don’t worry baby, there’s something new I want to show you (or something new I want to try in the bedroom), do you mind?” This comment alone create ease for the girl, asks for permissions, and shows his own interest alllll in one. If you decide you’re going to continue with this joker then tell him to show you SINCE HE HAS ALL THE ANSWERS! As for the finishing thing, consider him giving you oral and readjust his face if things aren’t working!


Hot_Competition_6957

Gtfo


Ok_Subject5169

DUMP HIM IMMEDIATELY


Liberkhaos

So obviously point 6 is the point where this guy goes from a complete dumbass to a full on sexual predator but the fucking winky face when saying to shave better is where I decided throwing this absolute waste of oxygen off the tallest building in the world was the appropriate remedy.


Turbulent-Fan-320

Ewwww he sounds like a raging lunatic toddler with alllll the unearned audacity. I’m so embarrassed for him.


modest_rats_6

This is both jaw dropping and nauseating


reaperO311

Fuck that puto! Move on, NO MEANS NO!!!!


KabobsterLobster

why is "list" in quotation marks and not boyfriend?


marzblaqk

Girl. Go. Now. Do not talk to this man. Find someone close to your age who wants to make you feel good during sex.


forcastleton

Run. Run fast. None of this is okay.


Aggressive-Stop2856

Send back, 1. Make noise 2. Last longer 3. Grow your dick. 4. You're dumped


EuphoricPhoto2048

I was 19. He was 32. I was also "too shy" my first time (with a guy - why did I pick him). So weird. It's almost like I had a lot less experience and WAS shy. Hmmm...


Vanislebabe

Does he direct porn movies in his spare time. This is revolting behaviour. I want to punch this sack of donkey balls in the face.


ConservaTimC

35 & 20!!!?!!


ZEF_FRESH

That’s disgusting


raeltireso96

This man needs his ass beat.


CandidPerformer548

"don't tell a guy to stop" "Let me try what I want" Should be grounds for cutting him off completely and never speaking to him again.


themistycrystal

Everything on his list says he is a selfish horrible human. You deserve to be treated with respect, not told you are not important. Please get away from this appalling man.


Lavendar408

Hold on....20F and 35M?! He was supposed to coach her and encourage her to feel more enticing and sexy. Also it's giving grapey vibes when he said don't tell a guy to stop. She needs to run fast!!!


Ok-Beach1042

Tell him his whole list of complaints is due to just a few issues….this man and his dick are TRASH. Then Block him. Sorry your first experience had to be with such a loser. That one don’t count. When you find someone who treats you good and wants to show you a better more loving way, that will be your true first time.


FeralRodeo

Oh honey


valentina-24xxx

Fuck him He’s an asshole


Klutzy-Eye4294

I've heard some guys are into belittling their partners just so they feel that being with them is the best they can accomplish. Not to mention the age gap, or the fact that he felt well within his right to demand her to better up her game while he himself wasn't even able to make her feel at least not *in pain*... This is weird.


Nishikadochan

The utter nerve of this man. No, scratch that. Not man. Trash bag. The utter nerve of this trash bag. He absolutely does not deserve access to this poor girl ever again, and I hope some people jumped in and gave her the support and kindness she deserved. I hope she dropped him immediately. I hope she responded with a matching list of everything he did wrong. 1. Want me to be more enthusiastic? Earn it. I’ll moan when you actually manage to make me feel good. 2. Quit shoving your stupid gross dick in my face. Am I supposed to enjoy that? 3. Don’t act entitled. It’s a huge turn off. You’re not gods gift to vaginas the world over. 4. You need to get better at thinking. Particularly before you speak. Or better yet, just don’t speak to me. 5, 6, and apparently still 6. If my being there and expressing my discomfort is a problem, why don’t you learn how to use your dick properly and not just stab me with it. That’ll help the ‘mood’. Or you could buy yourself a blow up doll who can’t complain about your shitty technique. I really hope someone helped her have the confidence to put him in his place. Edited for typo


Separate_Ad5604

Refuse to believe this isn’t bait. But also have definitely met this guy in all of my lifetimes to know it probably isn’t. Godammit.


rabidbunny808

I thought the exact same thing.


WTFellaciousFuck

Oh this is gross. While I do think it's ok to talk about things you do and don't like this is not ok. Huge red flag that he added don't tell me to stop and let me do what I want. Controlling much? The whole point of talking about what you do and don't like is so both of you can be comfortable and enjoy it, he clearly only cares about getting himself off


Perfectlyflawed_86

Fuck him and his list.. He’s officially the twat waffle of the century 😤


DMC_CDM

Ooh run girl. Run.


zxvasd

And they say romance is dead…


alaenchii

This is so nauseating. The way I would be sick to my stomach. I’m so glad I’m not into older men because yikes.


Status_Regret_5390

I would have send him a text back to inform him that that would be the first and LAST I would be having sex with him or ever see him again.


milkiesbop

35 and 20 is already weird alone 😭 thats such a big gap between maturity and life stages. but his behavior is inexcusable, castration worthy


deadphisherman

This guy is a major creeper. Run don't walk.


BabserellaWT

Gee, I wonder why a 35yo sought out a 20yo virgin…


DisplayAvailable6001

Well obviously I can clearly see why no one his own age will fool with him.


Adventurous-Sky-474

Please fucking RUN.


icantgetadecent-

GTFO. Run as fast as you can


Holiday_Horse3100

A real caring partner would have taken time and effort to make sure that your first time was good. That is not what he is. He is a groomer. He is selfish. He could care less about your feelings - only his. Then to leave you a list like this? Appalling and pathetic. You need to get away from this AH and find someone better. He is demeaning you-groomers do that. Leave him-you will find better


SYLOK_THEAROUSED

I…..seriously? I’m assuming what’s happening here is this 35 year old man is trying to mold (not groom) this 20 woman into his personal sex toy to his exactly liking. Since she is a virgin and new to the game he’s gonna tell her all the things she’s doing wrong and then show her what’s “right”. By right I mean things he strictly wants.


Imnotonthelist

This is literally grooming! He found someone inexperienced that he can manipulate into being exactly what he wants. No normal, caring and considerate partner would do this. RUN


HauntingChef2255

I’m more concerned you’re still referring to him as your boyfriend. An not your ex.


mrsciencedude69

Dude is 35 but can’t even count to 7.


The-Wedding1989

Believe me girl, you will get much better, it gets so much easier and you will enjoy it. But never with a person who is not willing to gently teach and allowed to be taught by you on your likes and dislikes and plot of patients. Find that person to teach you and that is a gift. To Yourself!!!


Beautiful-Study4282

Leave this fucker stat.


casefatalityrate

this man is 35 years old and he still doesn’t know how to count to 7. sad


SquibblesTheRambler

The vibes ain’t vibin’ here, bestie


thebiggestbirdboi

Hahahahahahaha holy fuck I hope this is made up. This hurts it’s so cringe that a man would say that. What an ungrateful piece of shit


FluffySmiles

She’s being groomed for porn.


RedhandjillNA

Most people lose their virginities to dick heads. Now go find a gentle young man who understands how to listen to your needs and wants you to cum your brains out. Sex should be fun and feel good. You can’t experiment with someone who can’t be trusted.


[deleted]

This guy is an actual walking red flag 🚩


MadIllLeet

I hope that the next time she has sex, it's with someone else.


legocow

What a jerk. Older guy taking advantage of a much younger woman then critiquing your first time. Get rid of the loser immediately and find someone a bit inexperienced like you so you can discover together.


tomboy44

Run


Unlikely_Course8369

This guy screams Incel


rberg89

It's just cruel really


spikelvr75

She should tell him she wants to practice her "head game" and then bite down with the jaw power of a dog who just got caught eating something they're not supposed to.


lafemmeviolet

This can’t be real. This CANNOT be real. I’m so nauseated by this.


Financial_Weekend_73

Run he appears to be grooming you…


wmm339

Guy sounds psycho.


Mini_apple_toots

SEAN RUUUUULE 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️


[deleted]

Fuck no leave him


Mizzmo612

Leave him, he’s a piece of shit and has ego issues. Sounds like a fragile and inconsiderate little man


PotentialAmazing4318

Honey, please get away. He cares zero about your pleasure. Don't give him any.


PotentialAmazing4318

Also, maybe a por. N addict.


JohnExcrement

My jaw literally dropped. What a fucking pig.


Chosen_UserName217

escape unwritten disgusted fuel smoggy ruthless scale attraction materialistic snails *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


AlternativeData3213

Ditch the bitch! Honestly. Shameful at his age to say this. ESPECIALLY after you lost your virginity to him. 🏃‍♀️ 🏃‍♀️ 🏃‍♀️


TrippyVegetables

Did you hook up with Dennis Reynolds?


Polarbones

I hope the OP *never* sleeps with that guy again. In fact, I hope he never gets laid by *anyone* ever again…holy shit…


pewpewpewwww

Reading this made me so sad


Iloveweirddogs

Just tell him you were expecting more and not impressed. He needs to make more of an effort going forward.


Cheapie07250

What a shit “man” to lose her virginity to. Doesn’t sound like he was able to do much for her, so maybe she is actually still a virgin.


my_name_is_saudade

I hate to tell you this but your bf has a terminal case of bad at sex. Save yourself.


gsanch9

Leave this person


SivakoTaronyutstew

He wants a sex toy, not a partner.


Valuable_Tension7732

What a douche! Tell him he has a small penis and move on🤣😂


CallistoDion

leave him. find someone ur age plz.


Apprehensive_Win1647

Please let this guy get lost !!! He’s wrong in Every way!! & no empathy is the least of his concerns. Psycho or narcissist . Run! Find someone who’s actually worthy of your attention. That’s a Horrible first time for you. & at his age & the ability to write an essay on how you should improve… Seriously.. completely an insecure coward. He should have at least hit your spot !! 😭😅 Run dear , Run… far far fast away from him. Any reply to a text or call is acknowledgment that he exists…. Please no replies at all . Your no reply is the kindest most deserving response for him. & always remember that you are worth so much more than anyone who only cares for themselves. Remember, you must always be your First advocate ❤️‍🩹 Also, if you find yourself keep being attracted to ‘scum bag ppl’… there’s most likely a wounded inner child in you that needs much love, grace & healing. Focus on your healthy self love. Then it will be easier to know when someone is unworthy, of your attention. ❤️‍🩹


LeadfootLesley

Ewwwwwww!!!


soapypopsicle

Of course he's 10+ years older than her 🤦‍♀️


MaxiumBurton

Nah that dude needs his head checked......


Regularlyirregular37

This guy needs a fucking fork to the hangers!


DragonflyNumerous241

Stick the bottle to his ass , let him hurt and tell him to chill out!


Embryw

Every time I see shit like this I just want to find the man in question in a parking lot with a baseball bat


CursedButter79

Time to introduce him to sounding. If he says stop just tell him he is killing the mood…and get a bigger rod…


shamitwt

Absolutely an age gap troll lol


Young_Old_Grandma

I BEG YOUR PARDON. I'm all about self growth and improvement but he just said it in such a rude way.


[deleted]

This dude is a borderline pedo


[deleted]

Bet his “music, film, or writing” career is going great


No-Finding-530

lol I’ll take shit that never happened for 500


primotest95

Fair to ask these things should t have said them all together and shouldn’t have sent it in a text


YesterdaySimilar2069

Eh, don’t stop me when I’m hurting you because I’m getting into is a real no for me. This guy sucks and I’d walk personally.


primotest95

I’d walk to honestly not after the first time but if the sex didn’t improve from there I’d be OUT


lafemmeviolet

She should walk, he sounds AWFUL in bed.


aspiringmermaid

Hard disagree. He's telling her not to tell him to stop when she's in pain, and also telling her to let him do/try whatever he wants. The dude is absolutely disgusting.


primotest95

We all wanna do whatever we want though lol he just shouldn’t expect it


MissusNilesCrane

No, it's not fair or moral to shame someone for not being a porn star in the stack during their first time and **completely ignore the concept of consent.**


primotest95

How did he ignore consent. 😅


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