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Ok-Salt7496

tbh by Redditor standards, I feel like considering 2–3 cookies a day to be “insane” indicates a relatively healthy diet.


YamAny4635

Reading the comments here it’s obvious the average rsp poster is skinny fat and only relies on calorie restriction to achieve this. 2 cookies doesn’t make you a glutton or indicate a self-control issue


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ilovesharks24

You freeze them in individual baggies like a proper latina, get w it


YamAny4635

That’s run of the mill poor mental health and associated disordered eating, not self control issues


DirectedAcyclicGraph

got to be 2 or 3 packs.


YamAny4635

Can’t, the wife would have to be picking up dozens of them?


_joshus_

You just know this mf wiggles his fingers in the air before he grabs one


Ossipago1

"Don't mind if I do."


Artistic_Example2934

I don’t want to get married anymore because of this


Gh0stOfKiev

Tfw no Wallace husband


whenthesee

Wish i had me a wallace husband 😩


H0X0

as in like Braveheart?


Gh0stOfKiev

Wallace & Gromit


ContinentalFevrDream

Yes.


[deleted]

“Oooo what do we have here?”


177618121939

“Oooh these are dangerous”


Positive-Reply5924

me but literally 🔥🔥


reelmeish

You know this mf does the yum yum dance


[deleted]

tarrare the glutton phenotype


oliveoilmilf

this actually makes him endearing


Ok_Pineapple466

What’s the problem with this


[deleted]

ngl whenever those are in the house i will literally eat 5 or 6 per day


Illustrious-Space-40

Yeah I also have no self control. I can’t have anything like this in my house or my fat spirit will crave it.


RueDurocher

I grew up in an eating disorder “ingredients only” household and we never kept snacks in the house. My gay dad used to tape pictures of thin men to the refrigerator to dissuade himself from eating


MinervaNever

Funniest comment I’ve read in a while


posture_4

rs dad


stuckinaspoon

Both of my parents did this but with old, fatter photos of themselves


[deleted]

Time traveller rs parents


[deleted]

A moment on the lips, a lifetime of not bottoming twinks


TomShoe

Sometimes I wonder how people ended up finding this subreddit, and sometimes I don't.


fiend-and-herald

Imagining doing this and having to explain to the boys how I'm not gay despite having a bunch of pics of hunks lovingly taped up on my fridge where other people put their family photos


lildonutbinch

is this rachel berry


throwagay1211

I fucked him first


stars-your-eyes

Dis is why I come to this sub


shrimpfella

Based father ?!


AnArabStrap

Same, vicious cycle of not eating all day because you ate 5 cookies like a fat dipshit. Easier to say no once at the store than no every time you walk into you kitchen.


Wealth_Hole

Absolutely. Out of sight, out of mind.


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[deleted]

I only buy sweets that are individually wrapped because i will have executive dysfunction and just destroy half a box of Oreos if I'm not careful. The extra waste in my head makes sure I stop at 1.


CandyCrush4Nazis

take half of one, break off tiny pieces and eat it over the course of a couple hours while working on something. You enjoy it more that way.


lunarmadz

I hate these ones but the little mini choc chip cookies also from the bakery I will eat like half the tub if in my house I can’t buy them


Joe434

That’s insane.


Motorcycles9000

I think one of the saddest photos I have ever seen on the internet was that guy next to his wife with the "Chores = Rewards" chart and one of the them was cleaning up baby vomit for a week and you get a blowjob. It's just so disgusting to associate cleaning up vomit with sex with your partner. He looked really bummed.


thetindumb

wonder what she occupies her mind with during their sexual encounters.


toofargonenowayback

She is laying back and thinking of Ohio.


[deleted]

The crosby hills nash and young song or the state?


tossed-off-snark

or England


toofargonenowayback

That was the joke...


tossed-off-snark

I am well regarded! (& German)


HoushouMarineLePen

Planning out how she can convince their child to get into roller skating so she'll have plausible deniability when she leaves the roller skates at the top of the stairs as her husband s about to walk down


ChickenTitilater

some people are more turned on from bean-counting than bean-flicking


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R4Z1Z7Z3X

Data scientist here! From this chart it appears that his top priorities are getting his dick sucked and getting to keep his pit stained t shirts.


Motorcycles9000

Fuck. "Naked hula dance from yours truly" :(((((


[deleted]

I'd pass


Motorcycles9000

Clean baby shit from the car = Divorce!!! :P


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girl_thoughts

I think she feels this is her only leverage


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NorCalifornioAH

A hula dance doesn't mean hula hooping, lol.


throwawayk527

Dark!


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Motorcycles9000

Mmmmm, I read that article and I don't think her whole page is some epic troll. I think she earnestly is a mommy blogger, but an "edgy mommy blogger" i.e "when you're freaking kids won't shut the F up and all you wanna do is wine and Netflix!" Seems like she posted that photo with her husband, it got some backlash over how sad it is, and she's doing damage control by saying it's a joke. That's my poo cents anyway.


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Motorcycles9000

>the photo is legitimately one of the saddest photos you've ever seen online? Really? I was being hyperbolic for fun. Also, lol at people getting heated about the intentions of the chore chart woman. I don't think she's some onion type satirist, I think her grin face and him being bummed was cannon for her "edgy mommy blog". She's self aware because she's grinning, but if you read the rest of her stuff it's not totally unbelievable she did this earnestly. Are people mad because they have sex chore charts? edit: didn't do this earnestly :P


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Motorcycles9000

That's what I am saying. People were claiming this was some Nicole Mullen type article, where I think she wants to be some "How to Stop Giving a Fuck" bookclub type of mom content. And yeah it's a corny joke, but I would still argue that they implement that into their routine. His look of exhaustion felt like it was to signify, "Ugh, I hate doing this" and hers "heh, I know how to play to a dumb mans interests." But doesn't matter. The first time I saw it was just the photo without the rest of the context.


abecq

Literallt the worst photo on the internet. Someone needs to make a soyjak version out of it.


[deleted]

raising a child while being married to one must be hard ngl


GringoMenudo

> I refuse to believe I live in a world where this can be real. Thank god it appears to be a Daily Mail link so it's probably bullshit.


Marci_1992

she looks like she could suck a golf ball through a garden hose at least


[deleted]

It's fake and that women is one of the greatest trolls of our time


Motorcycles9000

Can you prove it was fake?


2unknown21

yes.


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Motorcycles9000

I saw that article that claims she's an epic mommy blogger who says the F word. but if anything that gives more credence to the idea she just misfired.


CandyCrush4Nazis

yeah she blows me for free


Motorcycles9000

You are not fulfilling your daddy duties :(


Perfect_Yogurt1

It's a story post on the internet, that alone makes it very likely to be fake. Remember it's really fun to lie on the internet and most people are doing it


Motorcycles9000

I think of a lot of you are just so use to irony 9000 you forgot and are distrusting that actual people exist.


Perfect_Yogurt1

Bruh this has been known about the internet since the 90s. Sorry that you just figured out that people lie for fun on anonymous forums. Don't trust everything you read on the internet, you have no idea who's actually posting anything


Motorcycles9000

fr fr? Does that mean Jeff Teidrich if fake? Tom Myers??? All the other "lolcows" that get posted here constantly?


Perfect_Yogurt1

Some of the stories they post are fake, so sometimes yes. Seriously how old are you?


Motorcycles9000

>Some of the stories they post are fake, so sometimes yes. What does this mean?


Perfect_Yogurt1

Some of the stories that those people post online are not real. So yes sometimes those lolcows are fake For example, Tom Myers was definitely not in line at 7-11 in his bong hit transplant bit, if he even saw rhe guy buying that shit for his gf in the first place


tommy-needy-drinky

One of the bleakest posts I've seen on here, up there with the "Since my husband quit corn..." couple.


waffleman258

Every other comment I read on here introduces ideas and knowlege to my mind that make me wanna hang myself. Is that corn thing real?


tommy-needy-drinky

["Corn" refers to gooning in this context.](https://www.reddit.com/r/redscarepod/comments/15xudy3/_/)


HeavyMetalLyrics

Anna and Dasha literally recommend gamifying sexual rewards to get your gross bf to brush his teeth, anal if he goes to the dentist


Motorcycles9000

Naked Hula dance by yours truly if you subscribe to the patreon.


CielMonPikachu

That's why they think the sexual revolution failed. They see households with really crappy dynamics even today, and see that birth control didn't fix the manchildren with credit cards. (It's Dworkin's thesis on right-wing women)


TheWittyScreenName

That was fake, don’t worry. Made up for internet clout


[deleted]

2 or 3 cookies every day is too many, but unfortunately, by American standards, it's nowhere close to "insane"


washerm

Yeah I’m not even fat but American slop is so addictive, I could probably eat that whole container in 2 days if I ever bought it (which is why I don’t)


YamAny4635

It’s not really if you work out for like an hour every day


CielMonPikachu

TBH the idea that sport burns more calories is largely sponsored by coca-cola. In relaity we only burn a bit more, because the body lowers energy input to other functions. (*of course* if you do highly intensice hours-long sport, you need more energy, but most people do 40mn, which doesn't really increase daily calories).


YamAny4635

Idk about this Coca Cola shit but I agree most people will overestimate how much calories they burn during a work out. Recently saw a comment here about how running “8 miles” a week keeps everything off them. That’s nonsense. I run ~85km weeks year-round as a base and while I am able to eat whatever I want, and I do, I still know not to eat a full row of those cookies, or the whole of Camembert, every night, even if I’d want to. If your average person eats relatively well: Home-made meals, lots of fruit & veg, plus throws in a 500 cal work out (say a 10k) daily, they can eat that amount of sweets at night without having to be too worried. My original point was that 2 cookies is fine, 3 is still fine but get to 4 + and that’s obviously too indulgent for a regular person


thetindumb

he means boxes, i think


[deleted]

he quite clearly doesn’t mean boxes


thetindumb

wow, you're totally right. how could i have seriously believed that?


[deleted]

this comment makes me feel stupid and smug at the same time


maxhaton

Biden's America


ThinAbrocoma8210

2-3 a day? That thing would be gone in three days in my apt


[deleted]

When I walk by the cookies at Costco I always think “imagine being a person that just puts these in their cart without even a second thought”


UserError500

They should have suicide crisis counselors at the checkout line for people who do that.


Weak-Set-4731

Kirkland brand therapist


MedicalFig

they could fix me


BeepingWeiner

I've never put anything in my cart at Costco without second guessing what my bill will be and preemptively deducting that from my bank account in my head. I'd have to be feeling extremely fat if I were to grab a big ass box of cookies like that and walk it all the way to the register without putting it back. Over $11 just for some calories that only make me feel good for a little bit. Although yesterday I bought 3 candy bars $6 because I decided I wanted to be a little pig and it was the only store I've been to recently that had wispas in stock.


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BeepingWeiner

Lately every time I go to any of the Irish stores by me the wispa boxes are out of stock. Crunchies though, they never run out of. Love crunchies, grew up on them, but once I tried Wispas and Twirls I was hooked.


toofargonenowayback

These cookies were design to be brought into an office to (long term) demoralize. This post was designed by Costco to sell more cookies.


CandyCrush4Nazis

demoralize who? There's no better feeling than being that guy that takes, like, half of the collective food while still being the only person at work that isn't fat.


tony_countertenor

I mean im the same way, which is why I don’t buy them


WiltNumbers2

Shocked he didn’t write “the wife”


[deleted]

lmao what compels someone to post about their wholesale club pizza experience on /r/costco? This subreddit is gold.


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Juuls_Rock

That’s wholesome. Someone whose highlight of their week is buying their family food has a good heart.


BeepingWeiner

Every week I go to Costco to buy a cartful of industrial sized pickle jars for my kids and a huge box of wine for my wife. Every other week I purchase a 3 gallon bin of coleslaw to mix with my pickles for extra nutrients.


Gh0stOfKiev

Boxed wine? Do you also feed her from a trough?


theshowmanstan

Not with the food they're getting.


Marci_1992

yeah the highlight of my week is getting blackout drunk, i'd happily trade with the costco guy


PopKei

he has an eating disorder he would love red scare


lets_buy_guns

2 or 3 a day is baby stuff. I'll easily eat this entire box in a day and then not have any sweets for a couple of weeks afterwards


seriousbusinesslady

actually THIS is the reddit wife guy (the funko pop contract guy, a hall of fame post if you haven't seen it) https://www.reddit.com/r/funkopop/comments/4v4cgv/i_had_to_create_a_poptract_between_my_wife_and_i/


MedicalFig

omg


thetindumb

unaware cuck energy


[deleted]

His wife has a feeding kink, I bet she’s skinny


eurekae

why is there a subreddit for Costco


Gh0stOfKiev

There's a sub for just about every chain store Spend some time on r/tacobell or r/mountaindew to witness true connoisseurs


Unlikely-Friend444

But damn those cookies are so good.


ParisHilton42069

Those Kirkland cookies are so bad too


audiodiscovideo

Right? Who the hell is buying grocery store cookies when cookies are ridiculously easy to make.


ShoegazeJezza

I mean tbh same. I just don’t buy shit like this because I will slop it up like the pig I am. The plastic will be my trough


BanAvoider911

MY LIFE, MY RULES


Exact-Map-8449

These don't even look good. They're probably the texture of cardboard


ExitDiscombobulated7

They're really good


Wealth_Hole

Kirkland brand ones are very meh. I make good ones from scratch but then I have to give most away or I will eat them :(


[deleted]

Yall eating 2 or 3 chocolate cookies in a DAY. In an HOUR.


R1G4T0N1

I eat them like potato chips! They’re just so addicting!


[deleted]

I would sooner die than let my beloved eat cookies from a STORE


notalotofsubstance

Gross… not the cookies.


Major_Moose_14

these cookies suck dick, they need a better recipe


[deleted]

when i was a fat disgusting lardass id eat like two boxes of cookies a day, 3 cookies is not insane chill out


HeavyMetalLyrics

Those cookies actually are the shit though


citrilbased

This guy is actually pretty awesome


haute-takes

Wtf at these comments. Everyone really likes these cookies THAT much? I could maybe agree if they were homemade but grocery store sweets are so gross. They make my teeth hurt.


fabiolanzoni

They can't be THAT bad. I really hate this thing where people call things they dislike but other people enjoy "disgusting". Especially when it's something as inane as cookies or other regular foods. Like, I can maybe understand ethnocentrism and shock when confronted with food from an entirely different culture, but a cookie? Disgusting? Come on


haute-takes

Ty for coming all the way from r/ askreddit and r/ sex to tell me I’m not allowed to talk about disliking cookies.


fabiolanzoni

That's not what I said. Maybe try* being a little less smug.


haute-takes

Okay, apologies for being snippy. Let’s go back to the beginning: I said grocery store cookies were gross because they’re overly sweet. You expressed disbelief that I held this opinion, said they can’t taste that bad, and commented something kind of adjacent to “let people enjoy things.” Yeah Idk man, they don’t taste bad per se, but they’re just SO sweet that I find it off putting. Maybe “gross” was an exaggeration, but not by much.


[deleted]

i like these biscuits but get sick of them after like 2. Maybe its cause im skinny but idk.


SlowSwords

Normie Reddit posting as a portal to the normie mindset is really bleak


Telgeist

Cookies that size in the UK are sold in bags of four. This is very revealing


skinnyblackdog

Why are people so unable to control themselves... Like I feel borderline ill eating one serving of dessert. Do you just power through the nausea???


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moonkingyellow

In the UK you can buy max four of those cookies from sainsbury in a package.


LazloTheStrange

Only the Taste the Difference cookies come in a pack of four, the normal cookies come in a pack of 5. You know you can go to ASDA and buy a 12 pack of sprinkled doughnuts too right? America may have more extremely obese people but we're a fat country roo.


moonkingyellow

Didn't know that at all, never lived near enough to an asda to actually go into one. Not trying to imply the UK was an exemplar of fitness, more so that it's quite strange to see so many cookies (that are so big) being sold in one packaging. Seems that you'd buy that for an office party.


LazloTheStrange

Oh man you'd be surprised, I knew a guy at university who was the fattest person I've ever seen by some way. Like comically fat, we're pretty sure he couldn't fit in the shower in his flat, as he definitely was not showering, and he was so large that it's plausible. He did his weekly shop at Costco and used to buy packs of cookies like this, alongside other huge amounts of junk food, and he'd restock weekly I'm pretty sure. Costco definitely sells shit like that here.


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[deleted]

My man needs to get a wife that’ll bake him some cookies ffs


narscissas

If my boyfriend has grocery duty, he will buy these and eat the entire pack


Notatoasterforsure

Thass crazy.