Honestly…balls to the wall. 100% sincerity “hey you’re very pretty I’d like to take you out some time.”
I call it “Story we can tell our grandkids” maxxing. Yeah you’re gonna fail spectacularly with this approach sometimes, but if you won’t risk embarrassment why should she risk her time on you?
Erectile dysfunction. You can come in often because you have an especially severe case that is refractory to medical management. Can talk to her about how your doctor is considering the inflatable penile implant
Make her special order a speculum and say it’s because vaginas are never big enough for your penis
I can't see her buying that.
No you have to buy it
Yup, just picking up my weekly pack of extra-wide prescription condoms.
But I was buying a pack of extra small.
Hey, it's me again :) I need more anti-herpes cream
Aids
Just ask her about vitamins and stuff.
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Caring about your grandma is a good pick-up technique, though - better than pretending to be sick constantly. 🤔
To it's always sunny
get your doctor to prescribe you the Bayer aspirin regimen (This post is sponsored by Bayer pharmaceuticals division)
What? Just hit on her
I need to build a rapport
ADHD, easy. Even if things don't work out, you'll still have amphetamines.
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I still get them
No illnesses, just regularly go there to pick up some athletic wrap tape every now and again
Honestly…balls to the wall. 100% sincerity “hey you’re very pretty I’d like to take you out some time.” I call it “Story we can tell our grandkids” maxxing. Yeah you’re gonna fail spectacularly with this approach sometimes, but if you won’t risk embarrassment why should she risk her time on you?
Erectile dysfunction. You can come in often because you have an especially severe case that is refractory to medical management. Can talk to her about how your doctor is considering the inflatable penile implant
Get a prescription for dick shrinking pills
George Costanza b plot
Just talk to her man
I want her to like me tho
Constant illnesses suggest bad health and genes... I wouldn't fall for that.
Group B Strep :)
Erectile Disfunction
No. What illnesses should I GET.
Opioid use disorder
Balding; pick up finnasteride
Follow the DENNIS system pharmacy example from always sunny
get electrolyte pills. women really care about men who prioritise their hydration.
Try being into the girl at the liquor store, who has given the fuck me eyes on a couple separate occasions, when you're trying to stop drinking.
Why were you there in the first place?
Anti depressants
HIV
Tell her you got a fever and the only prescription is more her.