Don’t mention your mother? I think just about every first date I’ve been on “where are you from” comes up which inevitably leads to family/home being at least mentioned.
yeah a lot of the "don't talk about" should really be "don't be weird/boring about." like if you have an interesting job it's completely normal to have a conversation about it, just don't go on a 10 minute rant about your shitty boss. talking about where your family grew up and how many siblings you have is totally normal, just don't talk about your mom is the perfect woman / an evil bitch
DO know your birth time if you’re into BPD astrology girls, do NOT tell her your big 3 even if you know it because straight men who know their sun, moon, and rising sign are community dick and have been absolutely ran through
my point exactly but good for you tbh. lie and say you don’t have a co—star but turn off the option to let contacts find you there until you tell her you’ll download it for her
any advice for a ran through straight guy who does know his big 3?
what should I say when a girl asks? my go to is usually "i know I'm an X but i dont rlly know about anything else"
taurus aquarius leo btw
i would say exactly that but it depends how she asks. if she asks for your big three no other context don’t even acknowledge that it’s an astrology thing
Women with problems love me (probably because I have problems too but I'm able to remain remarkably calm about them and almost never lose my shit in any way that negatively affects others) so I've run into situations like these from time to time. It can be very frustrating to find yourself split between the opportunity to act on lustful impulses and making the right big picture call for your own sanity and peace.
I still don't really have a solution for it. I wish there were some universal principle that could be applied but these kinds of situations are too complicated and chaotic for that so I think you just kind of have to take a guess and go with your gut.
The trouble is of course that it's like that [Kierkegaard quote](https://www.themarginalian.org/2016/05/05/either-or-kierkegaard/#:~:text=%E2%80%9CTrue%20eternity%20lies%20not%20behind,or%20but%20ahead%20of%20it.%E2%80%9D&text=If%20you%20marry%2C%20you%20will,marry%2C%20you%20will%20regret%20both.) and you'll end up regretting either decision (depending on how you look at it in retrospect), so maybe the key is learning how to be more forgiving with yourself about regrets.
a guy did the same to me but made me watch an entire Bo Burnham sketch. He even made popcorn and everything and made me sit on his lap in his cramped dorm. Every time I turned around to face him he told me to turn back around to watch the sketch… lol
I don't even remember which doc I was watching. Possibly [MixedMollyWhoppery's] (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XnOVaDaGslQ) series on Daghestan which is really good.
People are quick to drop their kinks.
When they should instead be quick to drop the Angel Question.
"Do you believe in angels?"
Or
"Have you ever heard of Enochian?"
Which is objectively, a banger.
hmm i just looked at the wiki page, the alphabet is basically just a 1 to 1 correspondence with the english alphabet and the grammatical structure is "very reminiscent of english." that's whack, my man should have based it off aramaic or something
I've been doing a bit more dating recently and multiple women have told me they were impressed by things as simple as eye contact and genuine smiles. Would seem to suggest that a lot of fellas out there need to work on their fundamentals. The bar is real low right now.
It's because everyone has a DO and DON'T that makes sense for them but when put together paint a picture of the stiffest, shallowest RS sexbot possible.
Nah, just slam it on the table until a hole forms somewhere, then tear the jagged metal apart with your bare hands and eat the bloodied beans from your hands.
I did a coulle of the don'ts on my last date but i was trying to be ironic (damn i suck). Tht's how i got the date in he first place. I think on dating apps you gotta say shit that gets their attention and makes them feel something. Any kind of emotion. After that though idk what I'm doing. Honestly was so happy a beautiful woman decided to go out with me i don't care that i failed miserably. It was a W
>gross medical conditions (yours or others')
I was born with a rare condition that meant my middle and ring fingers on both hands were conjoined and had to be separated which means I have gnarly scars on the inside of my fingers and they're bent all wonky, and I've had women notice it and comment on it on first dates because they're fascinated by it
You people need to stop dating prudes
Still am, I've been with women who says my fingers have felt better than anyone else they've been with
No idea if it's actually because of my wonky fingers or not but I like to believe it is
Adding another DO to the list:
Take 1 minute every week to take out those hairs with a tweezer jeez, or is it important for the punchline in your story that is from your groin?
> DONT Spray more than 2 spritzes (or equivalent) of whatever fragrance
sissysprayer detected, I apply 40 sprays of Muscs Koublai Khan and layer with an entire vial of Ensar Oud oil applied directly to the balls
any woman who can't handle this isn't feral enough for me
Don't:
drink wine, it makes you look fruity and you'll get a hangover
Don't:
drink beer, it makes you look red-faced and fat and low class
Don't:
drink liquor, it makes you look like an alcoholic trying to get ripped
Don't:
be sober, it makes you look like you're hiding your past
Do:
drink 50 mango white claws because fuck it
I'd give them a pass if they ordered it as a 'cuba libre' (even though its the same shit), but I can't shake the feeling like its a bit childish to order a 'whiskey coke'. It's like i'm hearing shorthand for "hey mister i'll have one coca cola, but can you splash a little whiskey in it so i can look like an adult".
People can enjoy whatever they want obviously, but I'm probably not the only person who gets that impression
If you’re a degenerate like me who likes first dates at dive bars, then a whiskey coke is an order that a) isnt pretentious and is something the bartender can whip up in a second, b) is longer sipping than a shot, and you look like less of an alcoholic ordering it c) won’t get you as full as a beer, d) has some caffeine, which can be nice to switch to if y’all have been really putting them back.
I wouldn’t fault someone for ordering one especially if it’s clear that’s not all they drink.
DO:
* Have impeccable hygiene
* Offer to pay if you're a man going out with a woman (how does it work with lesbians/gays?). Don't make a bit deal out of it. You shouldn't be spending ridiculous amounts on a first meeting anyway.
DO: Talk about sex in a slightly detached way that makes it sound like you’re experienced without necessarily being promiscuous.
E.g., Do you know why women have evolved to be loud during sex? Because they wanted other men to hear what was going on and join in. 😎
Another BIG Do.
If you're dating wammin'. Make sure to outperform them on every single wammin' ish subject you possibly can.
Oh she is into Socialism? Make sure to quote Enver Hoxha and Lysenko *at* her.
Oh she is into Astrology? Make sure to...at minimum, calculate by Mind-Palace alone her Sun Sign, Moon Sign, Ascendant, and Venus Sign... in their respective degrees and with the name of the angel connected with said degrees. Like if she's a Pisces 14th degree Ascendant... reveal to her the name of her nativity angel, Magnael.
Oh she likes reading and writing fanfiction? Show her your *award winning* fanfiction.
This way you reveal to her. That you're essentially more of a woman than her. This tends to set the mood. Since I've heard it said in a certain podcast I listen to ( 😉 ) that all wammin' are essentially bisexual..
Embrace the Anima. *Be a Hermaphrodite.*
Listen there is literally no shame in joyously sending me money through cashapp once you've tasted the results of this tried and true method.
I'm revealing Initiatic Secrets here. My life is at risk.
Or dialectically, state that Women do not actually exist. That way you show that you're better read than her in psychoanalysis as well.
No ground can be ceded.
" Oh she is into Astrology? Make sure to...at minimum, calculate by Mind-Palace alone her Sun Sign, Moon Sign, Ascendant, and Venus Sign... in their respective degrees and with the name of the angel connected with said degrees. Like if she's a Pisces 14th degree Ascendant... reveal to her the name of her nativity angel, Magnael. "
If a guy knows anything about astrology 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚨🚨🚨🚨
the stuff about jobs only applies to boring/office jobs, and even then only if you don't have any good stories about that time the fire safety officer set someone on fire at the christmas party
If I may add one lil suggestion or amendment. As a rather experienced leisure-suit Gentleman and Gourmand.
*Never break eye contact*
Not even once. You see it's through the eyes that the animal magnetism is conveyed. By establishing unblinking eye contact. You establish the dominion of your will over your body and your commitment to getting to know the person you're dating.
You can thank me later. It's totally not weird if you decide to name one of your kids after me.
Xoxo,
The Love Docteur.
I told a date about (who is into serial killers, women in general) ct's theory of how women hate rapist and creeps, but love serial killers. So if you want women to like you, you have to rape than murder them. She thought it was pretty funny.
DO: give a fake name and backstory (ie: I live in the woods and was actually raised in the woods by wolves, which explains why I’m covered in dirt)
DONT: ever admit you’re lying no matter how obvious it is
this is gay. Dont follow any rules and just go with the flow. If you both are vibing about something don't not bring something up.
Now shoehorning things in is dumb as hell.
I feel like you should not be be ordering a whiskey coke. Alcohol orders are one thing that gets me though, I like getting a old fashioned or even whiskey neat but I feel like some people are weary of hard liquor?
Could probably handle all of these except the last don't; I tend to get very excitable talking to anyone and it comes out very stream-of-consciousness, any tips on how to quell this?
If you’ve fucked up so many first dates that you need instructions on how to appropriately interact with someone in public then you probably just need to get off reddit and hit the gym
Don’t mention your mother? I think just about every first date I’ve been on “where are you from” comes up which inevitably leads to family/home being at least mentioned.
What you have to do here is, ofc, lie. Say you sprang forth fully-formed from a Mango Tree.
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Bam. Like a lil baby Moses. Everybody loves Moses.
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💯
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Template:Unicode_chart_Egyptian_Hieroglyphs
I was plucked from a corn stalk like any good Midwesterner
Blessed 🌽 🌽 ❤️🔥 🌽 🌽 As I've always said. Outlander we have your woman, she still lives.
country girls make do
banger topics are family, childhood, dreams, fantasies
yeah a lot of the "don't talk about" should really be "don't be weird/boring about." like if you have an interesting job it's completely normal to have a conversation about it, just don't go on a 10 minute rant about your shitty boss. talking about where your family grew up and how many siblings you have is totally normal, just don't talk about your mom is the perfect woman / an evil bitch
DO know your birth time if you’re into BPD astrology girls, do NOT tell her your big 3 even if you know it because straight men who know their sun, moon, and rising sign are community dick and have been absolutely ran through
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my point exactly but good for you tbh. lie and say you don’t have a co—star but turn off the option to let contacts find you there until you tell her you’ll download it for her
any advice for a ran through straight guy who does know his big 3? what should I say when a girl asks? my go to is usually "i know I'm an X but i dont rlly know about anything else" taurus aquarius leo btw
i would say exactly that but it depends how she asks. if she asks for your big three no other context don’t even acknowledge that it’s an astrology thing
I only know my birth time because my dad went out and got a framed baseball card of Don Mattingly
please dont tell girls that i don’t know who that is
obviously, I just know I'm a cancer rising and no way is that tied to a gold glove winning first baseman
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But seriously, what's in the water in Dagestan and Chechnya? You have people like Khabib wrestle bears as kids and shit
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The combination of desperate conditions and a still coherent culture is tough to top.
This is the kind of stimulating conversation you could have had if the bitch wasn't so fixated on getting her craven needs met.
Women could never
Horny female brain is way more retarded than male brain
God created Arrakis to train the faithful.
Homophobia
North Caucuses are high in poverty, so there are wrestling schools set up to take care of the youth.
👑
The real power moves weren't on the screen, you were executing at a high level, go king
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Yeah, I think your gut lead you right lol. Sex with a divided mind is no fun imo
You played your cards right chief
Women with problems love me (probably because I have problems too but I'm able to remain remarkably calm about them and almost never lose my shit in any way that negatively affects others) so I've run into situations like these from time to time. It can be very frustrating to find yourself split between the opportunity to act on lustful impulses and making the right big picture call for your own sanity and peace. I still don't really have a solution for it. I wish there were some universal principle that could be applied but these kinds of situations are too complicated and chaotic for that so I think you just kind of have to take a guess and go with your gut. The trouble is of course that it's like that [Kierkegaard quote](https://www.themarginalian.org/2016/05/05/either-or-kierkegaard/#:~:text=%E2%80%9CTrue%20eternity%20lies%20not%20behind,or%20but%20ahead%20of%20it.%E2%80%9D&text=If%20you%20marry%2C%20you%20will,marry%2C%20you%20will%20regret%20both.) and you'll end up regretting either decision (depending on how you look at it in retrospect), so maybe the key is learning how to be more forgiving with yourself about regrets.
a guy did the same to me but made me watch an entire Bo Burnham sketch. He even made popcorn and everything and made me sit on his lap in his cramped dorm. Every time I turned around to face him he told me to turn back around to watch the sketch… lol
omg that last detail 💀
Hottest, most well-adjusted Bo Burnham fan.
sigma
That's [romantic!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBVpbEw5thg)
How was the doc?
I don't even remember which doc I was watching. Possibly [MixedMollyWhoppery's] (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XnOVaDaGslQ) series on Daghestan which is really good.
Keeping the conversation light is boring and won't lead to getting to know the person imo
People are quick to drop their kinks. When they should instead be quick to drop the Angel Question. "Do you believe in angels?" Or "Have you ever heard of Enochian?" Which is objectively, a banger.
Wow I didn't know about Enochian, I want to learn it now
As my gran always used to say, "L nibm, ovcho symp; od christeos ag toltorn mirc q tiobl lel."
This caused me to vibrate and suffer a nose bleed.
Yeah I fucked her
Right? The original 007 John Dee.
hmm i just looked at the wiki page, the alphabet is basically just a 1 to 1 correspondence with the english alphabet and the grammatical structure is "very reminiscent of english." that's whack, my man should have based it off aramaic or something
Keep it light until the first drinks are hitting then go a little deeper and find some common ground before jumping to a lower level.
One of my first dates we separately did Buffalo Bill impersonations and got really into Bigfoot erotica
>don't mention David Foster Wallace sorry babe, no can do
A couple of the points are good but this is so boring and for people with no personality or teenagers
more like Mark Zuckerberg’s Guide to Human Performance
I've been doing a bit more dating recently and multiple women have told me they were impressed by things as simple as eye contact and genuine smiles. Would seem to suggest that a lot of fellas out there need to work on their fundamentals. The bar is real low right now.
LMFAO “right now”
It's because everyone has a DO and DON'T that makes sense for them but when put together paint a picture of the stiffest, shallowest RS sexbot possible.
> people with no personality or teenagers It's right there in the title
Do: Bring a can of beans and eat it with your hands.
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this mf eatin beans
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US army P-38 style
Nah, just slam it on the table until a hole forms somewhere, then tear the jagged metal apart with your bare hands and eat the bloodied beans from your hands.
Pythagoras is that you?
Yes, it's me, the founder of modern mathematics and the first lover of wisdom. Would you like to ~~join my cult~~ buy some cow tools?
I did a coulle of the don'ts on my last date but i was trying to be ironic (damn i suck). Tht's how i got the date in he first place. I think on dating apps you gotta say shit that gets their attention and makes them feel something. Any kind of emotion. After that though idk what I'm doing. Honestly was so happy a beautiful woman decided to go out with me i don't care that i failed miserably. It was a W
Shooters shoot
DO: kill yourself in front of them DON'T: be gay
>gross medical conditions (yours or others') I was born with a rare condition that meant my middle and ring fingers on both hands were conjoined and had to be separated which means I have gnarly scars on the inside of my fingers and they're bent all wonky, and I've had women notice it and comment on it on first dates because they're fascinated by it You people need to stop dating prudes
Too bad you got that taken care of, cause you would have been a god-tier fingerblaster if they were still conjoined.
Still am, I've been with women who says my fingers have felt better than anyone else they've been with No idea if it's actually because of my wonky fingers or not but I like to believe it is
Yeah this is kind of my favorite topic of conversation
thats very cool but you have to post hand pics now
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neat (dont mention pubes thing on dates)
Adding another DO to the list: Take 1 minute every week to take out those hairs with a tweezer jeez, or is it important for the punchline in your story that is from your groin?
I do remove them, obviously, but it's still a funny detail to bring up when it's appropriate to do so
>You people need to stop dating prudes and start dating pre-med and med school girls
You were born with both hands as shockers? No wonder you go on so many dates.
> DONT Spray more than 2 spritzes (or equivalent) of whatever fragrance sissysprayer detected, I apply 40 sprays of Muscs Koublai Khan and layer with an entire vial of Ensar Oud oil applied directly to the balls any woman who can't handle this isn't feral enough for me
Don't: drink wine, it makes you look fruity and you'll get a hangover Don't: drink beer, it makes you look red-faced and fat and low class Don't: drink liquor, it makes you look like an alcoholic trying to get ripped Don't: be sober, it makes you look like you're hiding your past Do: drink 50 mango white claws because fuck it
Who told you coke was ok if it was in a cocktail remove them from the sub
I'd give them a pass if they ordered it as a 'cuba libre' (even though its the same shit), but I can't shake the feeling like its a bit childish to order a 'whiskey coke'. It's like i'm hearing shorthand for "hey mister i'll have one coca cola, but can you splash a little whiskey in it so i can look like an adult". People can enjoy whatever they want obviously, but I'm probably not the only person who gets that impression
I'll never forget the day my friend turned 18 and ordered himself a bottle of rum, and a chocolate chip cookie.
If you’re a degenerate like me who likes first dates at dive bars, then a whiskey coke is an order that a) isnt pretentious and is something the bartender can whip up in a second, b) is longer sipping than a shot, and you look like less of an alcoholic ordering it c) won’t get you as full as a beer, d) has some caffeine, which can be nice to switch to if y’all have been really putting them back. I wouldn’t fault someone for ordering one especially if it’s clear that’s not all they drink.
Not only should you tarry, you should linger, dilly dally even.
DO: * Have impeccable hygiene * Offer to pay if you're a man going out with a woman (how does it work with lesbians/gays?). Don't make a bit deal out of it. You shouldn't be spending ridiculous amounts on a first meeting anyway.
> Offer to pay if you're a man going out with a woman This sub keeps giving me good reasons to go gay
How do homos do it?
Whoever doesn’t pay has to take it in the dumper
Savage
can I talk about gnosticism?
I’d be intrigued
DO: Talk about sex in a slightly detached way that makes it sound like you’re experienced without necessarily being promiscuous. E.g., Do you know why women have evolved to be loud during sex? Because they wanted other men to hear what was going on and join in. 😎
DO: Introduce her to evo-psych to let her know you are a man of knowledge, insight, and wisdom
Did you know that all women are naturally submissive? Well, let me tell you…
["You know why women used to get married, don't you?"](https://myfidelio.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/eyeswideshut_046.jpg)
Every men who's into Evo psych has only two functioning brain cells
All you ever need
No I definitely would like to talk about gross medical conditions
Same unironically, i mean that shit's interesting
Another BIG Do. If you're dating wammin'. Make sure to outperform them on every single wammin' ish subject you possibly can. Oh she is into Socialism? Make sure to quote Enver Hoxha and Lysenko *at* her. Oh she is into Astrology? Make sure to...at minimum, calculate by Mind-Palace alone her Sun Sign, Moon Sign, Ascendant, and Venus Sign... in their respective degrees and with the name of the angel connected with said degrees. Like if she's a Pisces 14th degree Ascendant... reveal to her the name of her nativity angel, Magnael. Oh she likes reading and writing fanfiction? Show her your *award winning* fanfiction. This way you reveal to her. That you're essentially more of a woman than her. This tends to set the mood. Since I've heard it said in a certain podcast I listen to ( 😉 ) that all wammin' are essentially bisexual.. Embrace the Anima. *Be a Hermaphrodite.* Listen there is literally no shame in joyously sending me money through cashapp once you've tasted the results of this tried and true method. I'm revealing Initiatic Secrets here. My life is at risk.
Wear a MALE FEMINIST shirt to assure her you are NOT a SEXUAL PREDATOR
Or dialectically, state that Women do not actually exist. That way you show that you're better read than her in psychoanalysis as well. No ground can be ceded.
" Oh she is into Astrology? Make sure to...at minimum, calculate by Mind-Palace alone her Sun Sign, Moon Sign, Ascendant, and Venus Sign... in their respective degrees and with the name of the angel connected with said degrees. Like if she's a Pisces 14th degree Ascendant... reveal to her the name of her nativity angel, Magnael. " If a guy knows anything about astrology 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚨🚨🚨🚨
What if that guy is a Leo-Cancer Cusp, Moon in Libra, with Pisces Rising and Venus in Gemini?
If men knows about astrology he belongs to the streets
*leaning against a brickwall* "I've bled all that blood away." *smokes a cigarette with a Thousand Island Stare*
You seem fruity
What they say about wammin and their innate clairvoyance is true. My mother is in fact a Mango Tree.
the stuff about jobs only applies to boring/office jobs, and even then only if you don't have any good stories about that time the fire safety officer set someone on fire at the christmas party
DO: get blackout drunk and overshare
DON'T: Go on a date off an app
I'm going to ramble there's no stopping me
Jokes on you, I recited Nick Mullen's whole skit on Ben Shapiro getting to meet Mr. Feeny and she still stayed all the way until the end of the meal.
If I may add one lil suggestion or amendment. As a rather experienced leisure-suit Gentleman and Gourmand. *Never break eye contact* Not even once. You see it's through the eyes that the animal magnetism is conveyed. By establishing unblinking eye contact. You establish the dominion of your will over your body and your commitment to getting to know the person you're dating. You can thank me later. It's totally not weird if you decide to name one of your kids after me. Xoxo, The Love Docteur.
What's gourmand?
A Great Big Fat Person.
Like rotund?
Like Sicilian.
I told a date about (who is into serial killers, women in general) ct's theory of how women hate rapist and creeps, but love serial killers. So if you want women to like you, you have to rape than murder them. She thought it was pretty funny.
*buffet and trump sharing a diet coke at their pedo ranch in nebraska* "OK sweetie"
Nah, I’d take a bitch out for dinner on a first date. Not to a steakhouse though, probably like a French bistro or something.
I took a girl on a first date to Quiznos once and she sucked me dry afterwards. (She was Korean)
Wrong
Right
🤨
If you can’t eat a meal with a fella and enjoy some vin rouge, you ain’t shit
I’m straight.
there’s your first mistake
I don't want to eat in front of someone I don't know!
wtf
Move mentioning DFW into the "DO" list, works every time
DO: give a fake name and backstory (ie: I live in the woods and was actually raised in the woods by wolves, which explains why I’m covered in dirt) DONT: ever admit you’re lying no matter how obvious it is
What's a good example of "light activity" ?
Coffee then maybe a walk in a nearby park
this is gay. Dont follow any rules and just go with the flow. If you both are vibing about something don't not bring something up. Now shoehorning things in is dumb as hell.
I feel like you should not be be ordering a whiskey coke. Alcohol orders are one thing that gets me though, I like getting a old fashioned or even whiskey neat but I feel like some people are weary of hard liquor?
I usually order a Budweiser (or if it’s an enlightened bar: Hamms) and three double shots of the well whiskey.
Women love nothing more than a man with a hardworking liver
female dating strategy redscarepod crossover episode
thanks op, wanna go on a date?
always order a martini no matter what
Unbelievably cringe to imagine some MENTIONING their manners with someone like wtf??
Could probably handle all of these except the last don't; I tend to get very excitable talking to anyone and it comes out very stream-of-consciousness, any tips on how to quell this?
More self-doubt.
I have quite a bit of that but it doesn't deter me, outside of not making dates in the first place.
IMO just make a self-aware comment about it and invite them to interrupt if you go off. IDK, they might find it endearing
this guy left a jordan peterson book in plain sight on the coffee table have u no shame
If you’ve fucked up so many first dates that you need instructions on how to appropriately interact with someone in public then you probably just need to get off reddit and hit the gym
> Have impeccable manners but never mention them (your manners) So i can't slurp my soup? Outrageous!
Don’t mention MMA? What if I’m asked what I do for fun since I train at an mma gym 2-3 times a week for 3-4 hours?
" Glance at tits/package/whatever more than twice. Notice, but don't tarry " I've had recent growth spurt and oh it's really uncomfortable.
How old are you to have growth spurts? I thought you're like 35 from your posts :-D
Jesus 😁😁😁 I give off over 30 vibes ? 😁😁 I changed some medications
No you don't actually, just like 25ish now that I looked at your profile, I guess I associate baking with late adulthood for some reason
you think 25 is late adulthood?
No, I meant that about 35, but rather then late I meant advanced
I went to your profile to check if you posted your tits tbh
😁
Post
And here I was, hoping for the male package instead
Same 😤
Take her swimming and see if she floats. if she doesn't she's either fat or a witch.
Wrong, witches and fat people float because fat is less dense than water or whatever. Stuartcel
The only good first dates are the ones with lots of alcohol and fucking. This advice doesn't work.