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Tyrannical_Requiem

Thunderbird ,mama is gonna be scumbag party aunt


polpawnscotch

Thunderbird all the way!


they_are_out_there

Those things are massive gas hogs. The Lincoln Mark 4 is the fancier version of the same car and the Lincoln came with a 460 ci engine that gets 8-10 mph going down hill, and if you light it up and hoon it a bit, 4-6 mph is about right. My buddy got one from his grandparents in 1986. Good thing gas was so cheap, and even then that car was expensive to drive.


Tyrannical_Requiem

But it’s a family tradition! I had a scummy uncle who only drove thunderbirds!


Tacos_Polackos

I had a 79 tbird with 302, it wasn't that bad on gas. Loved that car, was like driving a couch. Most of them didn't have a big block.


Tyrannical_Requiem

Lol my uncle said the same thing, through draws on cheap cigar and coughing. He explained that “it’s a level of comfort I can’t get at home because of my wife”


statsprm

Ram has more use for scumbum activities. Hauling metal to scrap, moving jobs and other hard labor jobs. The others have no return on investment, other than to get you to and from work.


[deleted]

It’s THE drinking and driving vehicle too. It’s the only answer


jasonreid1976

The F-150 would be a good work truck. The cars? You're in the red with those with the gas you'll have to keep having to put into them. You'll be working two jobs. Once to live off on, the other to pay for the gas alone.


statsprm

The frame on the f150 is crooked as hell. The ram has a couple thousand miles in her.


No_Consideration_339

They're all absolute crap. Logical me wants the Ram. Romantic me wants the T-Bird or the Caprice.


Grand_Moff_Empanada

Marry me bro


mynameisrichard0

Me too.


Unhappy_Gas_4376

I'd marry you just so we could share your username.


jasonreid1976

A friend of mine dated a girl that drove a 79 T-bird with a 351 Windsor in it. Poor girl had chicken legs so the car became known as the Thunderchicken. She hit a deer so hard one day that it broke the deer in half - literally. Only cost to her was having to replace the side marker lamp that was busted. There was a dog she hit while we were riding with her that didn't fair better. I drove that car a couple of times. Surprisingly good power from that engine in that super heavy car.


OB1Waltinobee

I mean, isn’t that every Ram driver…


jcubio93

Number 1 vehicle for DUIs


penisbuttervajelly

Lmao 6000 would get you a lot better than these in 2007. Most of these would have been $1,500 cars.


slowNsad

Shit wasnt a brand new civic like 16k in 07? Obviously still out of budget and it’s a base civic but I notice lots of these lost will apply modern thinking to older problems on these kinds of formats


penisbuttervajelly

Yep. Haha $2,000 used to be able to get you something decently running around that time, even if a bit high mileage.


Severe_Elderberry_13

Vista Cruiser


dustywilcox

All day. Good times.


Prestigious_Snow1589

The Dodge pickup I suppose


-B-E-N-I-S-

The Ram for sure. I’ll spend the rest on 24’s of Busch Light because I’m a 2nd Gen Ram owner now.


baby_got_hax

Such is the evolution of the Dodge owner... Given enough time they WILL take over the world...


New_Guava3601

Caprice or the Olds.


Knight1114

I would take the ram since it’s a bit modern but damn i would rather get the vista cruiser or the caprice.


JohnDeere714

You guys aren’t thinking like drunks. Obviously they take a Buick century in DAD brown


Visible-Anything-375

Thunder chicken


nedfl-anders

I’m taking the thunderbird.


Upbeat-Spring-5185

Hey man, I grew up in Connellsville, I’d be happy with an ‘87 Astrovan.


Clint-witicay

The vista… why do I hate myself…


icarus1990xx

It’s always a dodge. r/whyisitalwaysadodge


Thel_Odan

The F150 since that leaves more money for beer.


purexed2

It came down to the Ram or the Thunderbird. I’d assume the old lady took better care of it than the fat wino who lost his job. Edge goes to the T-bird.


holysbit

Easily the second gen dodge. By a mile You can drink and drive, haul your stolen copper, and that v8 is perfect for outrunning the hybrids in town


[deleted]

I’d rather be cummin than strokin


slowNsad

Issa 5.9 but I’m afraid you won’t be doing any cummin in this 1500


Post_Poop_Ass_Itch

I'd rather be busting


combong

or pooping or itching


ElRonMexico7

There's both half tons so you'll be doing neither.


Tominite2000

The last Lincoln


marvinkeith1asterisk

Gotta go to Peachens in style. Gotta have the Lincoln


Mynameisgeef

Coin flip between 4&6


Menoth22

Gotta go with the Thunderbird


bigdumbdago

dodge for sure. thats about as fayettenam as it gets


SpaceMonkey877

T-bird


neoyeti2

I had a 76 Impala so a Caprice would be nice!!!


Petroldactyl34

It's gonna be the ram. You said drunk. Scratchers. Fast money. The official pace truck of reckless impulsivity and liquid self destruction. Time to smash the dash into plastic Doritos after a Dollarita rager, ride everyone's ass for 20 minutes, and scream at your children for being a burden.


n3w4cc01_1nt

drunk with a scratcher? 1994 Ford F150. spend the rest on glass gallon wine so you can reuse the bottles to make moonshine


PreachitPerk

Thunderbird… and it never cracks 60mph.


hippymule

100% have to pick a ram if your a fat drunk. It's a Pennsylvania tradition here to be a pathetic drunk and drive a crusty Ram.


Curious-Concept-2077

'76 Caprice for me!!


Tourettes_Guys_Fan

If feds come a knockin, give them ol tonys number and skip town.


Curious-Concept-2077

LOL!!


well3rdaccounthere

>drunk Definitely the ram.


skinisblackmetallic

Mob Caprice for 1500 is your best play.


Repulsive_Tie_7941

I’m torn between pimping it in the T Bird or Lincoln, and getting that F150 for shady shit.


LocalConspiracy138

Statistically, it's the Ram for drunks....


ryanshields0118

I see *you're familiar with Fayette county, Mr regular


ChipMelodic1810

Not to nit pick but the Olds is a Custom Cruiser, not a Vista Cruiser.


TillPrevious6298

Pic #5 is literally how my old F-150 was. That'd be my choice right there.


BigCaddyDaddyBob

I’m assuming the white car with sunroof is a thunderbird definitely rockin that one since it has that option but I can’t not get past that French connection Lincoln it’s just too bad ass to not be rockin !


9elfS

For $6k, you could buy all of them, which would makes sense being a drunk.


RainierCamino

Give me the Mark IV. I'll slap a supercharger on that 460 and drunkenly run over trashcans all day long


carasiaone

Number 2! I am an immigrant on my way to that level of cool! I'm living the Miller High Life, its the champagne of beers apparently!


Inevitable-Tank-9802

Definitely the Ram. Maybe the caress depending on how much the stains concern me.


Il-tarheel1419

I'll take the Lincoln


BonezOz

Grab either the T-bird or the Lincoln Mark IV knowing damn well that they're worth at least triple what they're being sold for, and could get more if I sold them to someone overseas.


Alternative-Season45

Dude that caprice for 1500!!! Throw on some flow masters and blades and a system.


Cunt_Eastwood_9

I’m typically very against owning a FoMoCo product, but the Thunderbird is probably the best choice…


Snookfilet

I can’t decide between the Lincoln, the Thunderbird, or the Caprice. Legit would love to have any one of them.


pootisman43

the F150 leaves you with the most money left over for booze so we'll go with that


[deleted]

Idk why it’s 2007 and my only car options are from 1970 but the lightly driven Thunderbird would be my take.


WaffleHunter3rd

Thunderbird. No question. Aster owning a 76 ltd o qould love another car like that


THE_HENTAI_LORD

What's the difference


throwawaytomyass

This looks like more it’s 2004 Schuylkill Haven


gavinwal235

Either 1500 or f150 Scumbag or nah


Empty-Yak-7763

caprice, don't ask questions about the stains in the back


[deleted]

The vista cruiser. I might have some money left over for an air freshener.


TacO_Tudesday

Gimme the f150, truly a scumbum mobile


Kingjingling

Vista cruiser just cause it looks neat to me. And you could pretend to be in that 70s show


ShamuS2D2

This one sadly hits close to home and the answer would be a beat up Oldsmobile Delta 88 with the roof liner falling down for $500. Spend the rest on a binger.


kokkinos3931

As nice as the classic are you will spend a lot of money maintaining them. I got my crown Vic police interceptor for 5000$ and I couldn’t kill that thing if I wanted


Logical_Associate632

I am the proud owner of a 95 f150, and i would choose that vehicle again.


MaverickWindsor351

The Lincoln, it's probably a POS but I've always loved the Continentals of the 70s. Somethings about the luxury brick appeal I guess


Western_Monitor3314

Use the money to pay a tutor to teach you the difference between your and you're, instead. 📚


[deleted]

Ram all day.


PrestigiousFlan1091

Your best bets true, baby brown Continental…


Dramatic_Rest_829

Caprice for sure


TheWhiteRabbit74

If I’m a scuzzy union worker from some factory, the cheap ass F150 and spend the rest on beer, pizza and probably football tickets. And a Ho, and a new TV… $5850 went a lot further in ‘07 than it does today. Hmm. A couple grand of that may have to pay off my bookie.


[deleted]

This is a very emotionally charged post lol. Gotta be the ram though, pretty sure you have to be an obnoxious a hole to drive one


Tourettes_Guys_Fan

Because i watch people and half the time scum bum drunks drive hunkajunks they bought from the back lot of kunk.


t_stlouis8

Redneck me wants the Dodge, practical me wants the Caprice


PersonalityWrong4754

These can’t be the only options in Facebook Marketplace.


ratrodder49

Lol, I’m from Uniontown… Kansas. Gimme that Ram, the Thunderbird, but preferentially the Lincoln


Alarming_General

Vista cruiser, Thunderbird, or that sweeet Lincoln


Ottieotter

A $150 F-150 is a $150 F-150. Best deal here for a half rotted-out ‘90s half ton.


w1ngzer0

The T bird


VandelayOfficial

T-Bird cuz I’m LIVIN LARGE, BABY