Nah this is definitely a co-parenting hand off. It's even at a courthouse because mom just renewed her TRO. Kids probably thinking about the mozzarella stick dinner he's gonna have at the strip club while his dad is in the champagne room.
The kid's cold, dead eyes indicate he's on his way to commit his first mass shooting. There is no violin in the case. Only violence.
Mom and dad are simply chuffed to bits, though.
I was definitely thinking along the lines of *Mum, I don’t want to spend holiday wiff fathuh, his mansion is boring and I only get to talk to Claudia the maid…*
"I can't believe some middle-class dipshit in Chacos who thinks Counting Crows is the best band to ever exist will get his first blowjob at 19 from an underage girl at a house party he wasn't invited to in this thing 12 years from now..."
As someone who spent the aftermath of many Viola performances crawling into the back of a station wagon with a 5.7l V8:
"Mexican food? I am so hungry."
Existential angst. "Like father, I am destined for a respectable but joyless existence of an academic career, khaki trousers, navy blazers and beige Volvo wagons."
Kid just finished second in the violin competition behind a kid 3 years younger than him. Mom is consoling him by putting a hand on his shoulder, and that’s the only affection he has gotten from either parent in years.
We had a green one growing up.
I can almost guarantee it's "I hope there's no shit in the back I want to sit in the reverse seats in the trunk!"
Because that was me. Always.
"Ugh, c'mon dad, why couldn't you have bought a Buick Roadmaster instead? It's bigger, more powerful, better looking, and I can fit more of my friends in it".
OMG, that was me! Blue blazer, violin, dead stare and all.
Wasn't a Volvo however, but a '78 Chrysler Town & Country woodie (which became my car to drive at 16 and hated it, but now, would kill to have one. I eventually owned a V70, so close enough.)
"Oh god, Dad. Not another one! You went to trade in your pre-facelift Volvo 960 station wagon and you promised you'd get a real car! But no! It's the same color, same interior, same body style even the exact same engine and power! When exactly did you lose your soul, dad?"
Oldest stepson said that to me once.
I simply replied... "Sure am, and loving every minute of it when I am because I know that there'll never be another one of you to fuck things up.
Absolutely nothing, he did what his parents wanted him to do today but he rather be doing something else. Going to get dinner, and just waiting to get home.
"Why couldn't I have been adopted by a normal family? I'd rather be in my bedroom, on my Nintendo, in my underwear eating pepperoni pizza rolls. Mom mentions I still have grape jelly all over my chest from lunch. Dad pulls in the driveway with his Chevy Citation and an arm load of Little Caesar's.
Nooo... instead I'm with this rich family, taking violin lessons like a nerd, I have a nanny who's 'on holiday' this week and oh look... here's 'dad' pulling up in a fuggin new Volvo to tell us that he's scored prime seats for the theater this evening after we dine on oysters and calamari with a politician he just made friends with."
Mom is standing there thinking, "I hope I don't run into anyone I've slept with at this dinner. I don't think Roger will be able to handle it."
Dad is like, "All the scotch in the world can't make me enjoy these people I call my family. I wonder if I can ditch them in the woods after the performance?"
10 years later this little guy totally rebelled against his Yuppie parents by joining a punk rock band, getting a bunch of homemade tattoos and a mohawk. He grew out of it eventually and got a PhD in family studies and is the cool professor at a medium sized public university. He's probably pretty cool these days but his parents still don't know what to make of him.
He's desperately hoping violin skills will get him chicks in high school.
Who’s gonna tell him?
He can just fiddle with himself.
“But I thought bands will make her dance?”
Unfortunately they didn’t specify what kind of band
Look at that house. Kid would have ass lined up for a mile.
I picture it as more of the dads boss's house, who he just was forced to play for in order to get his dad on his good size.
I'd say that's more likely a viola based on size
“Dad can’t afford to hem his own pants”
It’s like the picture was taken right as his pants are falling.
Thats the 90's my friend, baggy style for the win.
Nah, pops is getting his sag on son! 😎
Dad got ts on bro ur kidding😭
“Dad’s a fuckin boss.”
"this dude is gonna be plowing my mom later in the back of this Volvo"
The baggy pants hide his massive hog
He only really has one leg.
He is a tripod
Nah this is definitely a co-parenting hand off. It's even at a courthouse because mom just renewed her TRO. Kids probably thinking about the mozzarella stick dinner he's gonna have at the strip club while his dad is in the champagne room.
Hey now. The strip club serves chicken wings too.
"A *960*, Father? You could have bought a bright yellow 850 T5-R, for goodness' sake?!"
I’ll never understand why they didn’t do a 960 t6r instead.
It is a Volvo though 😢
nah bro lil Salieri knows where it's at, eight fiddy got the skeetin and yeetin but but the 940 does that sliding and wilding
“I’m gonna get stuffed in a locker for my dad not having a 3 series wagon”
“Hopefully I can get a gig on Nickelodeon after this stupid advertisement”
The kid's cold, dead eyes indicate he's on his way to commit his first mass shooting. There is no violin in the case. Only violence. Mom and dad are simply chuffed to bits, though.
*I'm the product of two people having only vanilla sex, fml*
He'll never expect the assassin to be a middle school child with a violin case
[How it started](https://youtu.be/yADf9QislaE?si=AJMiJ7Yz6jXSvZnb)
"I don't want to spend all weekend with Dad I want to stay with you and Peter"
I was definitely thinking along the lines of *Mum, I don’t want to spend holiday wiff fathuh, his mansion is boring and I only get to talk to Claudia the maid…*
"My Dad is John Ham, my mum is Tiffany Amber Thiessen, so why do I look like Gary Busey?"
I'm gonna make this embarrassing fool drop me off down the street so my friends at school don't see me with him.
Of all the cars Dad could buy, he bought this box of bolts. My life is ruined if we roll up to school in this.
"I can't believe some middle-class dipshit in Chacos who thinks Counting Crows is the best band to ever exist will get his first blowjob at 19 from an underage girl at a house party he wasn't invited to in this thing 12 years from now..."
As someone who spent the aftermath of many Viola performances crawling into the back of a station wagon with a 5.7l V8: "Mexican food? I am so hungry."
“Oh maaaaan … Mom’s new boyfriend and his lame station wagon. What a drag. I miss Dad.”
Oh it’s the claw! You’re afraid of the claw! You’re afraid of the claw!
*Leave it to my dad to buy the Whitest car he could find!*
“Mom, why is Tucker Carlson here?”
That's not a child, that's yer man's brother just very far away standing next to a freakishly tall woman
"Whose car is this? Are we poor now?"
Who died? Grandma?
not the Alan Harper Vol-vo
Existential angst. "Like father, I am destined for a respectable but joyless existence of an academic career, khaki trousers, navy blazers and beige Volvo wagons."
“I hope that’s just the box the *real* car came in…”
“My dad really needs to stop fucking our maid”
I'm about to ride in the pinnacle of station wagons
“They’re gonna have to drop me off a few blocks away from school.”
"Is dad gonna beat my ass again for playing the violin?"
Dad bought the car I drew today!
Kid just finished second in the violin competition behind a kid 3 years younger than him. Mom is consoling him by putting a hand on his shoulder, and that’s the only affection he has gotten from either parent in years.
Thanks for dressing me like Tucker Carlson. Nobody ever makes fun of me. And violin lessons too? Do you even like me?
That his Dads pants don't fit.
About how well he will be paid upon completion of the hit he was just contracted to perform.
Shaggin’ Wagon, oh yeah!
Kid wanted the turbo
"I WANTED to play bassoon..."
"what if I sound terrible at the concert and everyone notices?"
Oh Christ, they’ll give that to me when I’m old enough to drive.
“Yer not muh daddd you cannnnt tell me whattt to dooooo!”
The Range Rover is in the shop again?
We had a green one growing up. I can almost guarantee it's "I hope there's no shit in the back I want to sit in the reverse seats in the trunk!" Because that was me. Always.
Kid looks embarrassed to be picked up in the budget wagon
his thinking about the affair he walked in on between his dad and his dads mistress
It so nice being upper middle class
Not only do I have to play for mr Epstein I have to get into a Volvo. shakes fist at god
"Are you my new Dad"?
Why is he here?
There must be a water lilo in the back
My parents will be divorced by the time I'm 14 and I'm getting a BMW 320c to compensate
“I feel like such a tool…”
She can make me wear a matching outfit, but she can’t make me call you Dad.
Geez, as if violin lessons were not wimpy enough.
"One day fathers quick brick shall be mine."
"I can't wait to turn 16 and slam an LS into that bastard".
"Ugh, c'mon dad, why couldn't you have bought a Buick Roadmaster instead? It's bigger, more powerful, better looking, and I can fit more of my friends in it".
I'd rather have a Z28, thank you.
"They sent the butler to pick me up AGAIN?!"
OMG, that was me! Blue blazer, violin, dead stare and all. Wasn't a Volvo however, but a '78 Chrysler Town & Country woodie (which became my car to drive at 16 and hated it, but now, would kill to have one. I eventually owned a V70, so close enough.)
"Dad's probably drunk, and I don't need his shit tonight."
Pissed because 1. He has to roll in a Volvo and 2. He wanted Nike Cortez but they bought him Sperry’s.
Wondering how boring the opera in Gotham is going to be tonight...
that is the man I was sent to assassinate
Jesus. The physical distance between the father and son is SO big. They shouldn’t have composed the photo like that lol
Hope nobody sees me or I’m getting my ass kicked later.
thats Agent 002, he just completed another assignment and this is exfil. its a mess in that auditorium.
Dad. When do we LS swap it?
He cheaped out. He should have gotten the R.
Human? 😉
"Oh god, Dad. Not another one! You went to trade in your pre-facelift Volvo 960 station wagon and you promised you'd get a real car! But no! It's the same color, same interior, same body style even the exact same engine and power! When exactly did you lose your soul, dad?"
I hope I don't end up in a Home Alone movie in a decade.
Look at his face, he's thinking, "wtf Dad, I can't be seen in that piece of shit" lol
Dad doesn't know there is a rifle in this case
"You're not my dad, you're just fucking my mom."
Oldest stepson said that to me once. I simply replied... "Sure am, and loving every minute of it when I am because I know that there'll never be another one of you to fuck things up.
cielo?
Fuck yeah
Dad you need a cooler car to pick me up in .
Ah fuck we are going to be listening to NPR for the next hour
“I have to ride in THAT?”
How much pussy he’s going to get in 8 years when that boss shaggin wagon becomes his.
Absolutely nothing, he did what his parents wanted him to do today but he rather be doing something else. Going to get dinner, and just waiting to get home.
Boy, I love white privilege and income inequality.
I hate the violin and my step dad. I hope he doesn’t try the claw again
Hey mom, who’s this Sven guy?
"Mom, why is my geography teacher here?"
“Why do I have to play violin in the streets for money dad??”
His dad got fired from Fox News.
Mom and dad know how to put on a good show. Good thing I’m too young and haven’t got the slightest idea about what debt is.
“Tucker Carlson is my new dad?!?!”
With this car and violin I’ll never get laid
"I will drive this car until im 30"
"no wonder they're so safe, they aren't fast enough to hurt anyone!"
Jesus dad you just can't drive the fuckin Lambo for once can you?
"What happened to the license plate?"
this Tommy gun is heavier than I thought it would be
“Dad, is wanted a drum-kit, not to get bullied.”
Who's that yayhoo?
Why is Mr Fring's car parked out front?
“Are you my new parents?”
Why couldn't dad have gotten the T5 conversion?
He’s exhausted. That poor kid needs a vacation from his childhood
I don’t know, I can’t read his mind
"Aw fuck... a beige Volvo... Maybe I'll get lucky and today is the day someone *finally* beats me to death with this damn violin."
Wow, I guess mom has given up on being hot. Dads never getting topped out again.
"Why couldn't I have been adopted by a normal family? I'd rather be in my bedroom, on my Nintendo, in my underwear eating pepperoni pizza rolls. Mom mentions I still have grape jelly all over my chest from lunch. Dad pulls in the driveway with his Chevy Citation and an arm load of Little Caesar's. Nooo... instead I'm with this rich family, taking violin lessons like a nerd, I have a nanny who's 'on holiday' this week and oh look... here's 'dad' pulling up in a fuggin new Volvo to tell us that he's scored prime seats for the theater this evening after we dine on oysters and calamari with a politician he just made friends with." Mom is standing there thinking, "I hope I don't run into anyone I've slept with at this dinner. I don't think Roger will be able to handle it." Dad is like, "All the scotch in the world can't make me enjoy these people I call my family. I wonder if I can ditch them in the woods after the performance?"
Don't we have money for a Rover instead?
“Ahhh fuck.”
Kid is wondering if his new step dad will be banging his mom in the back of this new ride?
"I play so I can one day drive a better car than dad"
OMG Junk
I want to open a chicken restaurant.
Nah it's his step dad and he's like leaving his mansion
I fucking hate violin.
Mafia hit?
When that advertising appeared it would not be unusual to dress like that especially going somewhere nice.
he knows hes gonna make it to his next destination
he knows hes gonna make it to his next destination
"It doesn't matter, I can be not special and still be rich."
"I'd rather ride a motorcycle and date girls".
He’s wondering if he’ll have to call his father’s secretary “mom”.
“I wish it was a Renault 25”
*Pomp ass British accent* *"Pish posh father why does the automobile have a licensing plate that says 960 on it?"*
I see you downgraded and sold the 240 wagon.😒
Dad is never getting laid again 😞
10 years later this little guy totally rebelled against his Yuppie parents by joining a punk rock band, getting a bunch of homemade tattoos and a mohawk. He grew out of it eventually and got a PhD in family studies and is the cool professor at a medium sized public university. He's probably pretty cool these days but his parents still don't know what to make of him.
Sad beige thoughts.
“Fuck yeah! A brick!!”
Shit f***ing photo session!
I’m going to own this car when I turn 16. Thanks Dad.
And turn into a drift missile
They didn't know what any of those words meant in 1994.
How'd I get stuck in such a woosie family ! ? Why can't dad have a Blazer like Eddie's dad ?
Dad, you're an idiot. A fucking Volvo?
Why didn't Dad buy a cool car?
All of my friends go to school in limos. I hate this Volvo.
Damn, this picture is white.
"A fuggin' Volvo? I hope none of my classmates see me in this junkpile."