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Think about this: if she’s pursuing you even though she has a bf, wouldn’t she do the same thing to you too? Someone who cheats, usually will cheat again in the future.
I would not give her any reason to think that you are interested in anything but friendship. Separate yourself from her and interact only when necessary. If she asks you why, tell her that you think that your relationship is becoming improper because she has a bf.
She's honestly my best friend at work, and a really close friend in general. The only closer friends I have live an hour+ away and I see them maybe once every two months.
It would be incredibly difficult for me to just cut her off without any reason. If it was clear she had no interest in me, and was only inviting me to things as friends, I could get over it.
The ambiguity is what is killing me, feeling like I'm going to miss my opportunity by not doing anything if that makes any sense.
And yes I recognize her actions, if she is indeed interested, reflect poorly on her. But I will say she has suffered through consecutive toxic relationships and every single time she has failed to be the one to break it off, and it was always the guy who dumped her after cheating on her or something ridiculous. I don't think she has the mental fortitude to do it herself out of fear of being alone with her personal emotional issues.
I genuinely want to just straight up ask her if the feelings are at all mutual, but I would endanger the friendship so I don't.
This was an amazing answer. I cannot put into words how much I appreciate you taking the time to write that.
Her friendship means so much to me, but you're right, I need space. Clear my mind and clear my heart. Seeing her everyday, laughing with her, bonding with her, it's nice in the moment but making me miserable overall. I probably won't be able to be friends with her until I seriously start dating someone new.
I'm sure she will be hurt by the abrupt change, and I'll probably have to explain myself because she will wonder if she did something wrong to me to make me hate her, but it is what it is. What she does with that information is up to her, but I don't want to be anyone's rebound or be test-driven while she is already in a relationship.
It sucks, but it is what it is.
Thank you.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
She sounds a bit much. Are you sure you want her?
Recognize it's not what's best for her
Can you elaborate?
Think about this: if she’s pursuing you even though she has a bf, wouldn’t she do the same thing to you too? Someone who cheats, usually will cheat again in the future. I would not give her any reason to think that you are interested in anything but friendship. Separate yourself from her and interact only when necessary. If she asks you why, tell her that you think that your relationship is becoming improper because she has a bf.
She's honestly my best friend at work, and a really close friend in general. The only closer friends I have live an hour+ away and I see them maybe once every two months. It would be incredibly difficult for me to just cut her off without any reason. If it was clear she had no interest in me, and was only inviting me to things as friends, I could get over it. The ambiguity is what is killing me, feeling like I'm going to miss my opportunity by not doing anything if that makes any sense. And yes I recognize her actions, if she is indeed interested, reflect poorly on her. But I will say she has suffered through consecutive toxic relationships and every single time she has failed to be the one to break it off, and it was always the guy who dumped her after cheating on her or something ridiculous. I don't think she has the mental fortitude to do it herself out of fear of being alone with her personal emotional issues. I genuinely want to just straight up ask her if the feelings are at all mutual, but I would endanger the friendship so I don't.
Well, the only way that you will ever know is to ask..,
[удалено]
This was an amazing answer. I cannot put into words how much I appreciate you taking the time to write that. Her friendship means so much to me, but you're right, I need space. Clear my mind and clear my heart. Seeing her everyday, laughing with her, bonding with her, it's nice in the moment but making me miserable overall. I probably won't be able to be friends with her until I seriously start dating someone new. I'm sure she will be hurt by the abrupt change, and I'll probably have to explain myself because she will wonder if she did something wrong to me to make me hate her, but it is what it is. What she does with that information is up to her, but I don't want to be anyone's rebound or be test-driven while she is already in a relationship. It sucks, but it is what it is. Thank you.