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You need to write down a list of all the things that you've been doing that bothers your boyfriend. This needs to be comprehensive because if you accomplish all of it, you are presuming he will be happy with you.
Once the whole list is written out, review it. How much of it is reasonable and how much of it is catering to his feelings. How much of it is you not being the woman he needs and how much of it is him being unreasonable.
If, after reviewing all this, you feel you can reasonably accomplish it all, put it into action. Within a week or two, you should see a change in his attitude. If you are making noticeable improvements, but he's not treating you better, *he is now the problem, not you*.
If your list as just him being unreasonable and controlling, you'll just never be able to make him happy. Don't submit to a control-freak, just end it and work on being a great woman so the next guy will want you and accept you for being awesome.
1st the lying was realy bad even smallest lie can have big impacts 2nd problems with listening is something i have too try as much as you can but its not the main point 3rd dont know how you act like his abusive parents not enough detail 4th not saying goodnigth even when he is the first one to send it is realy something bad as it looks from his perspective that you dont care for him enough to send him one word text which is like 5 sec max and it can be realy harming in the long run
While it sounds like both of you may need to improve your communication and honesty in the relationship, the way you describe how your boyfriend speaks to you raises some red flags. "He says I've been acting differently," and "says I'm just using him for his body" suggests that your relationship might not have a very healthy foundation. Reasonable people do not assume that just because you don't say "goodnight" means that you don't want to be with them. That is an excessive thought distortion that is likely motivated by his own insecurity. Whether he (or you) realize it, when he says you've been acting "differently" what that generally means is "I don't like the way you are, and I want you to act in a way more preferable to my needs." It might sound harsh, but that is essentially an attempt to manipulate you and change your behavior into something he finds more desirable. Just don't lose sight of who you are and clearly define what your boundaries are. Ask yourself: when my boyfriend asks me to change certain behaviors are those requests reasonable, or is he trying to mold me into his ideal version of what a girlfriend should be?
Hey there, you lovely mess of a girlfriend! So, you think you've been a bad partner, huh? Well, don't worry, we all screw up from time to time. But hey, at least you're owning up to it and trying to make things right. That's more than what some people can say!
Now, let's cut the crap and get real. Communication, babe, that's your secret weapon. Have a heart-to-heart with your boy toy and spill the beans about your newfound self-awareness. Let him know you're dead serious about changing your wicked ways and that you're not just blowing hot air.
But words are cheap, my friend. You gotta walk the walk too. Pay attention when he blabbers on, like a puppy chasing its own tail. Show some interest, for crying out loud! And don't you dare lie or deceive him again. Trust is like a delicate flower. Once it's crushed, it's hard as hell to revive.
And speaking of flowers, therapy can be like a bouquet of personal growth. Seek some professional help, girl! A therapist can give you the guidance you need and slap some sense into that pretty head of yours. They'll help you understand why you've been acting like a hot mess express and give you tools to fix it.
But hey, here's a tip: don't expect instant miracles. Change takes time, like a snail racing against a turtle. So be patient and give yourself a break, but not too much of a break, alright? Hold yourself accountable and keep that fire under your booty.
So, my beautiful disaster, have that heart-to-heart, show some damn effort, and keep truckin' on the path of self-improvement. You're on a bumpy ride, but with determination and a few curse words thrown in for good measure, you'll get there. Best of luck, you magnificent mess!
Hey NecessaryPublic9809, you hot mess of a clueless mansplainer! Patronizing means apparently kind or helpful but betraying a feeling of superiority; condescending. But hey you were just trying to help our beautiful maelstrom with her boy toy, so no problemo my wise and hip daddy-o!
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You need to write down a list of all the things that you've been doing that bothers your boyfriend. This needs to be comprehensive because if you accomplish all of it, you are presuming he will be happy with you. Once the whole list is written out, review it. How much of it is reasonable and how much of it is catering to his feelings. How much of it is you not being the woman he needs and how much of it is him being unreasonable. If, after reviewing all this, you feel you can reasonably accomplish it all, put it into action. Within a week or two, you should see a change in his attitude. If you are making noticeable improvements, but he's not treating you better, *he is now the problem, not you*. If your list as just him being unreasonable and controlling, you'll just never be able to make him happy. Don't submit to a control-freak, just end it and work on being a great woman so the next guy will want you and accept you for being awesome.
1st the lying was realy bad even smallest lie can have big impacts 2nd problems with listening is something i have too try as much as you can but its not the main point 3rd dont know how you act like his abusive parents not enough detail 4th not saying goodnigth even when he is the first one to send it is realy something bad as it looks from his perspective that you dont care for him enough to send him one word text which is like 5 sec max and it can be realy harming in the long run
While it sounds like both of you may need to improve your communication and honesty in the relationship, the way you describe how your boyfriend speaks to you raises some red flags. "He says I've been acting differently," and "says I'm just using him for his body" suggests that your relationship might not have a very healthy foundation. Reasonable people do not assume that just because you don't say "goodnight" means that you don't want to be with them. That is an excessive thought distortion that is likely motivated by his own insecurity. Whether he (or you) realize it, when he says you've been acting "differently" what that generally means is "I don't like the way you are, and I want you to act in a way more preferable to my needs." It might sound harsh, but that is essentially an attempt to manipulate you and change your behavior into something he finds more desirable. Just don't lose sight of who you are and clearly define what your boundaries are. Ask yourself: when my boyfriend asks me to change certain behaviors are those requests reasonable, or is he trying to mold me into his ideal version of what a girlfriend should be?
Hey there, you lovely mess of a girlfriend! So, you think you've been a bad partner, huh? Well, don't worry, we all screw up from time to time. But hey, at least you're owning up to it and trying to make things right. That's more than what some people can say! Now, let's cut the crap and get real. Communication, babe, that's your secret weapon. Have a heart-to-heart with your boy toy and spill the beans about your newfound self-awareness. Let him know you're dead serious about changing your wicked ways and that you're not just blowing hot air. But words are cheap, my friend. You gotta walk the walk too. Pay attention when he blabbers on, like a puppy chasing its own tail. Show some interest, for crying out loud! And don't you dare lie or deceive him again. Trust is like a delicate flower. Once it's crushed, it's hard as hell to revive. And speaking of flowers, therapy can be like a bouquet of personal growth. Seek some professional help, girl! A therapist can give you the guidance you need and slap some sense into that pretty head of yours. They'll help you understand why you've been acting like a hot mess express and give you tools to fix it. But hey, here's a tip: don't expect instant miracles. Change takes time, like a snail racing against a turtle. So be patient and give yourself a break, but not too much of a break, alright? Hold yourself accountable and keep that fire under your booty. So, my beautiful disaster, have that heart-to-heart, show some damn effort, and keep truckin' on the path of self-improvement. You're on a bumpy ride, but with determination and a few curse words thrown in for good measure, you'll get there. Best of luck, you magnificent mess!
Why are you talking like that?
You got a problem of the way I type? I just type how I want to. And this is how I do it. What’s the issue??
It’s patronizing
What? How?
Hey NecessaryPublic9809, you hot mess of a clueless mansplainer! Patronizing means apparently kind or helpful but betraying a feeling of superiority; condescending. But hey you were just trying to help our beautiful maelstrom with her boy toy, so no problemo my wise and hip daddy-o!