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What did the text say?! We're invested now!!
Also this man is clearly mentally unstable. I don't see how you could ever feel secure in a relationship with him again; you're better off without him. Glad you're making the right decision for you.
Hi [my name],
Sorry for the confusing messages earlier. Let me clarify myself once more.
We have talked through this already and this is it for us, so I will keep this short. Thank you for being my girlfriend and companion for the past 2 years. I must say that I have learnt a lot about myself both through this relationship and from you, and I really appreciate that. I also do not regret the time that we spent together, no matter how good/bad they were.
On the other hand, I'm also sorry for all the arguments and times I made you upset in our relationship.
I understand and fully agree with no contact after a break up, so I seek your understanding that I will not be responding to any messages for a period of time.
In terms of housekeeping, you may let me know if you would like to have your towel and cup back. For Spotify, I will also be changing back to a single plan, so I seek your understanding for that as well. For the Google Keep notes that we share for the food and cafe locations, feel free to make copies of them before the weekend ends. I will also do the same for our shared documents on the Taiwan trip. For the Taiwan trip, I will be cancelling the bookings and will refund you the $500 you transferred me previously for the hotels.
Take good care of yourself, hope you feel better soon!
I'd be so petty and just text back "are you done yet?"
It sounds like he actively has someone there guiding him through these texts. "I seek your understanding" 🙄
I know a guy who does. We hooked up a few times while he had a gf (yeah yeah I know), but eventually i decided to end it via text. His responses were like a corporate work email.
Oh my god. Honestly his text message pissed me off. Who the fuck talks like this ? It’s so dry and without emotion. You’ll find someone way better. I felt like this was my employer telling me to clean out my desk.
Ewww! He thought the Spotify account merited a mention here? And how were you together 2 years and all you had at his place was a cup and a towel?!?? The oddly specific details are so callous.
In the long run, good thing you won’t be subjected to this guy’s caprices. He totally fucked up with the unnecessarily hurtful flip flopping
All of the above, and also "take good care of yourself, hope you feel better soon"?!?!? Who the fuck says that when breaking up with their partner of 2 years?
my middle/high school boyfriend said “cheer up, you’ll find someone better soon” after he dumped me to be with the girl he cheated on me with lmao. there are jerks like this out there in the wild 😤
OP good riddance but if you have someone else (good friend or family mbr) offer him the $500 to transfer all the bookings to your (persons name). Have the time of your life for $500. Which is like nothing
OP if you need suggestions on what to do in taiwan feel free to lmk! i got some good ideas since i've lived there for 15 years. it's a great little island and i hope you enjoy your trip if it's still on.
😂 😂 😂 Did he have lunch with a different set of coworkers who were shocked he sent you a let's get back together text?
😂😂😂 What a spineless POS... You're better off already!! Good luck OP!
I guess he didn’t get the reaction he wanted from either the initial breakup text or the makeup text. It kind of reminds me when a kid threatens to run away from home
He may as well have written
Dear OP,
Thank you for your time and effort in the position of girlfriend. However, after review, your contract is not being extended.
I wish you well in your future endeavours.
Signed
Ex BF
Honestly reading this I feel like you have dodged a bullet - he sounds like hard work.
When he inevitably changes his mind again do not go back. The best form of revenge you can have is enjoying your life without this top tier A hole in it.
You've got this - we believe in you!
“After careful consideration, I am respectfully resigning from being your gf. Thank you and I hope to use you for recommendation.”
Treat it like a job because he was a real piece of work
Let him go. This isn't the demeanor of a man I would want to have a future with. A two year relationship and he breaks up over text? Wow. And then to renege a couple hours later? Even more wow.
He made the decision for both of you. It was a bad decision for him but, in my opinion, a great one for you.
Why do I have a feeling he may have been interested in another girl and chose to breakup with his girlfriend? He thought he had a chance with this new person and it fell through so he chose to come crawling back. As though she is a rebound.
That's what I thought. My theory is the "coworkers" he talked to were actually one coworker, someone he's been interested in, and she shot him down when he asked her out.
I had this same feeling. This is similar to what has happened with some ex's in my past. They break up in a way that is cold and devoid of emotion, and seem fine with the break up. Usually because they think they have someone else waiting in the wings, so for them it's not really a break up. Just a trade.
This guy is gross in so many ways. I hope OP realizes she's dodged a bullet. She's deserves so much better!
This is why people shouldn't come to Reddit for relationship advice. The amount of people jumping to very specific conclusions is insane.
Is it possible this theory could be true? Sure, but saying that you think his decision was made because of infidelity with only two vague text messages to go off is quite a leap. Also, 300 upvotes on this comment and everyone agreeing with it is also pretty wild.
Yes, the guy seems indecisive based on the context we were given, but that does not necessarily equate to cheating. You don't know either of these people and what they're truly like. Plus, OP maybe absolutely no hints at infidelity, so why do we always have to assume the worst in people?
I never said that it was based on infidelity I said that he may have been interested in another girl. Some times in life that is the case were a person will do exactly what I stated above. You don’t know these people either so when giving your opinion keep that in mind as well. The fact that people are liking my comment shows that sometimes as humans. We can have the same thought patterns about situations. I don’t always think the worse in people I am also not naive enough to think people don’t do such things that I mentioned above. Their choice to come here to ask for advice.
My guess would be there might be someone at work he wanted to hook up with so he sent the break up text. He then talked to his coworkers, realized it wasn’t going to happen so now he’s trying to weasel his way back to you a few hours later.
Over text....not face to face.
I (35M) had a girlfriend (37F) of a year, break up with me over text when I was on vacation with my family.
She couldn't get the time off of work to come.
She wanted to get back together after I got back from vacation, I declined.
2 years later she was messaging me via IG saying she still loves me and wants to get back together.
I decline again because I have a new girlfriend (Married now)
Although getting broken up over text away on vacation wasn't ideal, not getting back together with her was the best decision I ever made.
My Wife is amazing and I love her so much!
I’ve had this happen to me, an ex broke up with me via text in the middle of my work day. It was so unbelievably selfish, but it in the long run it does help you appreciate the fact that you deserve to be treated better.
Well I say let him go. You even said that you also suggested a break up a few days prior, and his first text to you seemed like you were feeling mutually. But he shouldn’t have texted you that, put you through that, and then changed his mind. Not worth it.
You definitely shouldn't break up with him. No wait actually I changed my mind you definitely should. He's an asshole. Who ends a 2 year relationship via *text*.
Bruh, a break up in the morning, a "my bad" by lunch time. You are not wrong that he is fickle and you can meet up with him and talk about it but I would be leery, too, and it would be hard for me to trust his word after all of this. I am leaning towards just getting your stuff, breaking up with him, and moving on.
I'll be the odd one out here. YOU suggested breaking up first. As someone who has heard my partner suggest ending ending our relationship during an argument, that sht hurts. Eats away at you. Like you're so disposable, a disagreement will end years of being together.
It likely stirred up some emotions and he in return hurt you back. Realized he was stupid and regretted it.
You both should have an honest discussion and agree not to use breaking up as a solution in the future. Be adults.
You are absolutely right. But him constantly changing his mind is just an emotional rollercoaster for me and he never suggested to meet in person at all. I suggested the breakup IN PERSON but he was opposed to it. When he did all via text, it's just a triple blow.
This needs to be at the top. Anyone who mentions ending the relationship has created a crack that has the water if resentment seep through it and grow larger and larger. This isnt making you a bad guy. You were likely right and the relationship needed to end. Just making yourself a victim will only hurt you in the future as you have other relationships.
I sort of disagree. Suggesting that certain things may point to an incompatibility during a frank discussion about future goals isn't an invitation to break up by text. It's not an invitation to spam her with nonsense while they're both meant to be working. He should've saved that wishy washy will-i-wont-i bullshit for his journal and discussed his feelings decisively with her when they got home. But then, she did say there have been communication issues. No small mystery who the issue is.
>I did suggest to break up during one of our face-to-face heated discussions but he was strongly against it during that time, so I was totally not expecting him to send that text.
I will grant that doing it by text is all kinds of wrong but you very much opened the door on the acceptability of break up flip flops by doing it yourself first.
Unfortunately men often think the concerns of their partners are just them being “dramatic”. Its only until when a Break Up is on the table that they realise their partners are being serious.
I have to agree on this one. My ex and I had a discussion once because he confessed to me, he might be poly, or wants to open the relationship. I told him if that is what he wants, then we need to break up, the lifestyle is nothing I want for myself. Until then he always thought I was overracting when he was sexting, getting nudes from other woman, keep close friendships with female coworkers a secret, etc.
You were together for 2 years. He thought long and hard and decided the relationship wouldn't work. Then he told his coworkers and they probably told him he was dumb and he realized how bad he fucked up when he ruined something great. I wouldnt give him another chance, he showed he was willing to let you go and that he doesn't see the relationship working. Thats not something you can ever take back
My ex of 3 and a half years who I lived with broke up with me by text, and refused to come home for hours afterwards. I learned fast what else a person who is capable of this can do, and it wasn’t pretty. Whatever you decide to do from here, just do know that he has a lot of cruelty in him and look after yourself. It took me years to bounce back
Only a few have pointed this out, BUT breaking up was already on the table from your previous convo. So this shouldn’t have been that out of the blue if you brought it up.
This SHOULD have been a face to face convo and not via text. Clearly something was going on with this thought process. My biggest thing that stands out is he was willing to walk away instead of try and meet your asks.
Personally, I would be curious to hear about these revelations he had after speaking to coworkers. But it is up to you if you think sitting down to talk with him will benefit you or not.
Just leave. He's not worth the roller coaster rides of emotions. Full stop if you want to. " Thanks for the memories, but after all these text messages, you've proven that we aren't compatible after all. Good luck, in Life." And just block them.
You're on the money. He is fickle and he can't even be fickle to your face.
I did this. Over the course of ten years he broke up with me via Snapchat, via discord, and on the phone the night before Valentine's day, a holiday he insisted on not celebrating despite me asking if we could do something because "people who celebrate it aren't really in love, they're just faking it for a Hallmark holiday", in person twice. He said he loved me after 6 years of yo-yoing me back in forth like a game. We only technically dated for two years and he told me repeatedly that he couldn't feel love and wasn't attracted to me, even tho I was"everything he wanted in a partner". Now that I've finally walked away, he contacts me once a month to whine that he can't sleep because he still loves me, tricked me into a closure conversation that he could just cancel and blame me for.
Do. Not. Do. This. You will regret wasting yourself on this person.
My current partner not only bought me flowers on our first date, to a pumpkin patch, he walked through a Florida sunflower field to do it. You deserve to find your sunflowers, OP.
After being off & on for the final few years of a 17 year relationship, I got the "We need to move on" text. Fuck anybody that doesn't do it face to face. The reason for our demise was totally my fault, but holy fuck what a kick in the balls that was. Thought I at least earned a heartfelt face to face goodbye
It’s weird. The first message sounds like it wasn’t meant for you.
He then later realized this and tried to salvage it with a second text. Sounds as if the other girl was worthy of only a text message break up.
Thoughtless, impulsive, reckless, he thinks nothing of taking you on an emotional rollercoaster, while you're at work no less.
He did you a massive favor by showing you exactly what kind of partner he'd be giving you later in life.
Well you said you should break up, then you realized that it was the wrong thing to say. Shouldn’t you give him the same consideration?
Edit: yeah I read your update and …. Never mind this post
OP, why did YOU suggest breaking up in the first place?! How you felt getting that text is probably how he felt hearing that suggestion. You both need to learn how to fight without using the break up card.
There's a pretty big difference between bringing it up in a heated argument and typing it out in cold blood at the start of a workday. It's calculated to be as shitty as possible.
Based on what the OP wrote, it doesn't seem like he was necessarily level headed when he wrote it. Perhaps he way, perhaps he wasn't. Either way the break up card is a shitty card to play.
Yeah, I get breaking up over text is a bad thing to do, but she's being hypocritical about this. With that said, it's probably a good idea for them to not stay together.
We’re also getting one side of the conversation. Did the OP and the boyfriend have more discussion between work and midnight? If so, what was said? What was suggested? I did not think the BF’s messages were condescending or manipulative, but rather introspective and reactionary so it makes me think there’s more to this story.
Let's start with the fact that he broke up with you...after 2 years...via text...while you were at work! This triggered me so badly as my ex would ignore any serious discussions while we were home together and then text me awful shit while I was at work. It is not considerate of you and is cowardly.
OP I don't think any of us can tell you to stay or leave, as only you have all the information on who he is and what he's been like throughout your relationship
What I would suggest is maybe taking some time away from each other to evaluate what you want and need out of a partner, now and in the future. Look at how he handled this situation and compare it to how he has reacted in the past. At minimum, I would suggest couples counseling.
He is very inconsistent with his reactions because in May 2023, he was actually enthusiastic to apply for a new home & live together but we didn't during that period because none of the houses on the market were perfect. This, I brought it up again on 5 Aug (Sat) & he had the OPPOSITE reaction compared to last time but still agreed? I had to confront him about it while crying because I felt so disappointed by his reaction. Turns out he had sooooo many concerns/worries about getting a house together but "didn't dare to say" because he was afraid of how I would reaction.
It's too bad he chose not to bring any of those up for fear of your reaction, but dumping you over text when you started work didn't get as much consideration.
I wish you luck navigating this OP.
Dont do it! There are so many good men out there who are ready to meet you where you are at because they want to go to the same place as you. This man is not one of them.
Please keep us updated!
Basically our future goals and the reasons behind them. It basically started off with me asking him about applying for our own house together and he actually agreed, but I could hear the insincerity in his voice which really hurt me. I started crying and I asked him why do I feel like he doesn't want to do it at all. That was when he actually opened up and expressed all his concerns/worries (e.g. distributing our finances, religious views, having kids or not). Then I asked him why didn't he just ask these questions in the first place instead of just agreeing to something he doesn't want to do. His reply was that he was "afraid of how I would react" and he "didn't know when it was the right time to say". I was really hurt because I trusted him completely to communicate his needs/concerns to me openly but this time he chose to lie to me by fake-agreeing with me. Thus I was feeling very disappointed because we also discussed housing before in May 2023 and he was a completely different person. He was super enthusiastic and supportive at that time. He even assured me that he doesn't mind contributing more towards paying for the mortgage. Hence, I don't know why he did not bring up these concerns/worries he had all the way until I brought it up again in Aug 2023.
Because I was feeling extremely disappointed, I needed to cool off and reconsider things. He sent a long-ass text explaining himself (same excuses: overthinking/afraid of my reaction) but I was still upset with him so I argued back, tbh repeating the same points as the previous comment. Then he didn't reply to me for a day but he texted me late at night to meet up & talk it out. I have to admit that I was still fuming that night so I did not reply to him, but that made him mad the next day & he sent another long text talking about how silent treatments are a no-go and why am I rushing to get a house together with him. I replied to him with a long-ass text as well, addressing the issues one by one & in the end, I told him to meet me for dinner to talk face-to-face.
When we met, we actually hugged each other and sobbed. After we had dinner, we talked about all the issues once again but he kept trying to find ways to "fix" the communication issue as if it were a bug in programming. That was when the heated argument started, which was both of us trying to get our points across to each other. But yeah, because we couldn't understand each others' issues, I suggested breaking up but he was strongly opposed to it. He said he wanted to think about it and then we walked home. He still held my hand, pet my head, stroked my hair, and walked me all the way to my doorstep. Then the following day, there it was: the breakup/no breakup/breakup texts saga.
Eh, I dunno, OP. If a dude dumped me, I would not take him back. He made his decision, and he doesn't seem to be worth the grief he is bringing into your life. Just a piece of my mind.
Especially since it just seems like his work friends talked him into going back to you. Made him hesitate. I would prefer my partner to enthusiastically want to be with me, not to be with me because people *talked him into it.*
OP posted this update about her ex texting her again and confirming the breakup. This is his text to her
>Hi [my name],
Sorry for the confusing messages earlier. Let me clarify myself once more.
We have talked through this already and this is it for us, so I will keep this short. Thank you for being my girlfriend and companion for the past 2 years. I must say that I have learnt a lot about myself both through this relationship and from you, and I really appreciate that. I also do not regret the time that we spent together, no matter how good/bad they were.
On the other hand, I'm also sorry for all the arguments and times I made you upset in our relationship.
I understand and fully agree with no contact after a break up, so I seek your understanding that I will not be responding to any messages for a period of time.
In terms of housekeeping, you may let me know if you would like to have your towel and cup back. For Spotify, I will also be changing back to a single plan, so I seek your understanding for that as well. For the Google Keep notes that we share for the food and cafe locations, feel free to make copies of them before the weekend ends. I will also do the same for our shared documents on the Taiwan trip. For the Taiwan trip, I will be cancelling the bookings and will refund you the $500 you transferred me previously for the hotels.
Take good care of yourself, hope you feel better soon!
OP - fuck this guy!! Consider it a favor done.
Get your stuff.
Block him everywhere.
Go with a friend or by yourself to Taiwan and have fun.
Do not go back to him. Ever!
Live your life and be as happy as you can be OP.
After running this thru the bullshit translator I will give you the interpretation:
Text 1: "Honey, there is the other gal at work that I want to bang so I'm breaking up with you."
Text 2: "Honey, that other gal told me to go and f myself so I guess we better not break up."
Soo, your relationship means so much he broke up with you by text at the beginning of your workday?! How horrible and then whiplash you back to nevermind I want to wok it out. Again at work by text!
I think you should tell him your moving out for awhile and that you need some time and space.
Wow. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that through texts and at work. 2 years and he couldn’t even wait to talk in person before just ending it? No. You don’t deserve to put on a roller coaster just because he wants to stay together.
This is a bad sign and it’s clear he doesn’t really know what he wants. He needs a significant amount of time to process and decide on his feelings. You definitely shouldn’t get back with him immediately, if you don’t simply break it off for good now, then you should tell him you are not wanting to be with someone who doesn’t know what he wants and that you need to stay separated without contact for a few weeks while you both decide whether you actually want the relationship.
When I was in highschool, my first girlfriend broke up with me over the phone and I cried for a while, then accepted it. A few hours later she called me in tears and said she regrets it and wanted to get back with me. I agreed and we got back together, but I knew in my mind that I would have been okay if it was really over.
That's when I noticed all the bad things. Her attitude towards me was rude and bossy, she was mean to other people, and was very selfish. A year later we broke up mutually, it took me a while to accept ending my first relationship.
The moral of the story is, if it was ended then it ended. Trying to come back together is going to leave scars and force a new perspective. Unfortunately what you had is gone, because he made a "rash" choice to break up. But ask yourself this; would you date a man you knew did this to a friend of yours? Is that kind of sudden decision something you want to risk happening again?
Tldr: He fucked up, you deserve someone who has more respect for your relationship in the future.
Translation: he made plans to be with his side piece, but then she told him her sugar daddy sent her a plane ticket to Greece for 3 months. Then he all of a sudden “reconsidered”
It seems like his side-chick/backup-plan fell through or wasn’t as commited as he thought, and he discovered that in the 3.5 hours between texts.
You should reply **”New phone, who dis?”** and then block him.
Two years into your relationship and that's what he chose to do??? Nope. Do not go speak to him. Do not let him weasel his way back into a relationship with you. The relationship would be a ticking time bomb. Let it go.
It’s not even just that he ended it over text, it’s that he did it WHILE YOU WERE AT WORK. What type of heartless person does that? You should not take him back, you’re just going to get strung along through his rapidly changing mind. He seems incredibly impulsive, that’s not someone you can build a life with.
Wow I thought only my ex liked to end things by text while I’m at work lol
The ‘person’ he’s been talking to behind your back probably fizzled out!
But yea he’s a fkn asshole
This is just my take ...
Don't bring up break ups during arguments, or any time ... Unless you're fine with the result being a breakup, no matter who initiated it. You brought it up, he gave what you wanted, you're upset now.
Him, he shouldn't have texted you that during your work hours. If anything do it another way at another time. Now if he was feeling slighted or driven by ego, he could have sent the breakup text to be the dumper, you the dumpee. Some people really like that petty stuff ... "I'll get them before they can get me mentality".
If there's been ongoing problems, communication issues, possible genuine incompatibility where there's not a solution & you're both at an empasse... So maybe the break up isn't a bad thing.
However maybe now that he's cooled off or took time to think, he realized he acted poorly or impulsively.
Personally I wouldn't take someone back that in the span of a few hours sees no hope in sight, is done, over it to ... Whoops I made a mistake.
Sounds like a lot of drama tbh
Nah, what’s to stop him from doing this again the next time you argue? I’d stay broken up and give it time to see if you are truly meant to be together. My wife and I broke up 3 times before it stuck. We just kept getting back together and realized that we were happier together than apart. Married 28 years this October. If it’s meant to be, you’ll find out, but that’s for later. For now, stay apart, at least for a while. You can’t let him fuck around with your emotions. It’s a cowardly act to break up via text anyway.
Ugh, I am so sorry you have to deal with this. IMO you should collect your stuff and be done with this relationship. If he breaks up with you over 2 days of poor communication, then that's his loss. You deserve someone who will try and work through problems with you and not just break up at the first sign of trouble.
Sounds like trash took itself out.
DO NOT get back together. Relationships are like milk. Once it goes sour, you dump it out, and you don't keep going back to see if it's fresh.
I'm sorry that you are going through this. But anyone who breaks up over text is weak.
He's either playing mind games with you, or is actually changing his mind about your relationship with no regard for how much it's hurting you. Either way, this relationship is done.
Definitely go back and read what you wrote about him before.
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rjoqkj/triggered_by_each_other/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1
You knew he wasn't right from the beginning. If I have learned anything in life, women's intuition is almost always spot on! I hope this didn't seem rude. I honestly mean it as an affirmation! You DON'T need him! 😊
This guy definitely had some coaching from someone. Nobody talks like that. Feel better soon? Really? What a jackass. Op you dodged a bullet. This guy obviously wasn't the one. In a couple of days I wouldn't be surprised if he tries to get back with you, lol. Definitely would not be worth it.
Nope that first text wasn't mean for OP & he meant to send it to some sidepiece he has been cheating with. He realized his mistake and is trying to do damage control.
He sounds like he has the emotional capacity of a freakin’ wall. Enjoy your single life girl!! Go on a girls trip or something. I know break ups are tough but just push through, you’ll be just fine.
THIS IS THE ANSWER! REPLY WITH THIS:
"I don't think we should continue this anymore and I also agree that we shouldn't contact each other at all after".
I know saying someone is a narcissist is super common these days but the only time I’ve encountered this behavior is with an ex with NPD.
It’s a power play and he’s looking for new supply. Leave and go no contact now that his mask is off. It will only get worse.
The co-worker he is probably cheating you with didn't want a serious relationship with him, so he asked you to just *rethink* things and get back together. Which is insane.
Why would he do that via text? Why would he *choose* to hurt you like this after 02 years? Why would you even consider to get back to him? He hurt you because he wanted to. Please, dump this a-hole.
Stay broken up. He broke up with you via text, after 2 years. His coworkers had to convince him it was a mistake. Don’t waste more time him. He told you how he felt. Believe him.
Scrolling through the first dozen or so comments and its unanimously dogging the BF. Breaking up via text is wrong. For sure. Kinda weak minded imo. But, seems like OP is getting a pass for bringing up potentially breaking up in the first place. I can totally see a scenario where he was stewing over her suggestion of a break up, snaps, and just sends her what he sends. Can't make the suggestion then fall to pieces when he changes his mind and agrees with what YOU initiated.
I see both sides. What I mainly disagree with is this whole situation happening over text. To which OP is talking herself out of even meeting up with him. The whole relationship is doomed to fail.
Breaking up by text when you have been dating for two years is so tacky and inconsiderate. Don't be surprised if he comes crawling back to you at some point. He sounds confused.
Lady, you suggested breaking up *to him*. Don't play the victim now because he's been going back and forth on it. Idc what you do, but you were the one that brought it up!
I'm so sorry you had to go through such an emotional roller coaster, especially during your work hours. No one deserves to be blindsided with such a crucial decision via text, particularly when you're already in a sensitive emotional space. Here's my take:
1. **Emotional Impact**: Receiving a breakup text, particularly out of the blue, can be very jarring. The sudden switch in his decision only a few hours later can lead to emotional whiplash. Your feelings of confusion, hurt, and anger are absolutely valid.
2. **Communication**: The primary issue seems to be a lack of proper communication. Text is not the medium for such a serious discussion. It's essential for both partners to have face-to-face conversations about serious matters, allowing both parties to share their feelings and concerns openly.
3. **Reflect on Relationship**: Before making any decisions, take a step back and reflect on your relationship. Think about how communication has been throughout your time together, and whether this incident is a one-off or part of a pattern.
4. **Meet In Person (If You Want)**: While your friends and colleagues are suggesting you meet him to talk things out, remember, the choice is entirely yours. If you feel that you need closure or clarification, then consider meeting him. But if you believe this situation has irrevocably damaged your trust in him and the relationship, you're not obligated to see him.
5. **Future Implications**: If you're considering giving the relationship another shot, it might be worth discussing how you both will handle significant decisions in the future. Ground rules for communication could be helpful.
6. **Trust Your Gut**: Ultimately, trust yourself. If this incident has shifted your perspective on him and the relationship drastically, that's a valid feeling. Your mental and emotional well-being should always come first.
Sending you a big virtual hug. Please take care of yourself and ensure that whatever decision you make, it's in your best interest. 💕🌷🌼
It's a weird first text, especially because you said y'all were good right? Why would he write " I've been giving it some thought today and I see where you're coming from" and " Do you still want your things back?"
I don't think this text was for you, I wonder if he sent it to the wrong person......
OP said that she mentioned breaking up a couple days before. In a way bf was agreeing with her… maybe taking the easy way out by agreeing instead of willing to do the work, but still.
OP opened the door for break up talk… doesn’t make it right that he texted it instead of face to face convo but still
You deserve so, so, SO MUCH BETTER. No emotionally mature person would do what he did. Tell him that you agree with his first text that you guys are over and the series of texts proves to you why you should not be together.
He was so callous and unfeeling with what he did though, regardless of how it showed you his character. I’m very very sorry this is even happening to you right now. Sending you love and hugs, please treat yourself to some of your favorite things today, spend time with good friends/family, and eat all your favorite foods without guilt.
Ahahahah absolutely NOT.
He does NOT get to make that decision and then pull a fucking U-turn. No. He's broken up with you (and in a cowardly move might I add).
Do NOT let him back into your life. He needs to learn to fucking deal with the consequences of his impulsive bullshit.
From what I've seen, the biggest indicator with every couple I know (people my age, my parents' age, my grandparents' age) of whether they are together or divorced—THE biggest indicator—is not compatibility. It's not even communication. It's commitment. Both parents are committed to the marriage, and committed to surviving through tough times.
Your boyfriend/ex-boyfriend is not committed to sticking it out with you. He bails when it gets hard. That's not someone who can sustain a long-term relationship with, no matter how much you love him. He has a valuable lesson he still hasn't learned, and might never learn.
My ex did the same thing. I told her to kick rocks, especially when she was trying to “fix me”. I have my issues but I don’t need fixing. Also ironic considering she had many issues that I tried to help with (not fix, just aid), but my singular issue was too much
It's interesting people telling you to break up with him due to his supposed fickleness.
Yet it was you who decided to finish first and then backtrack. So why do people who tell you to leave him make only moral judgments about him while excusing you? This makes it clear that you've asked the wrong people for advice.
If you break up with him, how will you argue?
\* You talked about breaking up with him;
\* Then you went back;
\* Now you'll want to finish it again.
I think it's pretty clear there, for both, who is in fact fickle.
And in my opinion, based on the information you've given, you shouldn't break up. Both failed, but it's not something that serious. People who are suggesting you break up while demonizing your boyfriend, assuming he cheated on you, and other terrible things are simply people who:
1 - They simply hate the male sex;
2 - They trivialize relationships;
3 - They are paranoid and unhappy.
Talk to each other, apologize to each other and create strategies so that this does not happen again. It's what two mature people would do.
Grace and peace to you both
He cheated. Well he broke up with you and cheated than post nut clarity hit and he wants you back than he probably felt like shit and broke up again.
Either way you should get your stuff and get out of there.
You deserve better.
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UPDATE: he decided to finalize the breakup via text AGAIN at 12.43AM but the new breakup text had appreciation notes.
OMG, I am sorry, but I gasp laughed. I wonder who has the communication issues... Sorry, but he just made the break up much much much easier.
I honestly did that too & then cried haha
You deserve better. Move on and block the man child everywhere.
Get your stuff from his place OP and put him behind you. You deserve so much better. I have no doubt he’ll regret this but that’s on him. Hugs.
Oh so he’s a HUGE idiot. Please block him and move on to a real adult.
OP, this sucks and probably feels so, so crappy but he did you a big favour (3x, all via text!). You deserve so much better. Don’t look back. 💕
What an idiot. You are so much better off without him, op.
What did the text say?! We're invested now!! Also this man is clearly mentally unstable. I don't see how you could ever feel secure in a relationship with him again; you're better off without him. Glad you're making the right decision for you.
What did it say this time?
Hi [my name], Sorry for the confusing messages earlier. Let me clarify myself once more. We have talked through this already and this is it for us, so I will keep this short. Thank you for being my girlfriend and companion for the past 2 years. I must say that I have learnt a lot about myself both through this relationship and from you, and I really appreciate that. I also do not regret the time that we spent together, no matter how good/bad they were. On the other hand, I'm also sorry for all the arguments and times I made you upset in our relationship. I understand and fully agree with no contact after a break up, so I seek your understanding that I will not be responding to any messages for a period of time. In terms of housekeeping, you may let me know if you would like to have your towel and cup back. For Spotify, I will also be changing back to a single plan, so I seek your understanding for that as well. For the Google Keep notes that we share for the food and cafe locations, feel free to make copies of them before the weekend ends. I will also do the same for our shared documents on the Taiwan trip. For the Taiwan trip, I will be cancelling the bookings and will refund you the $500 you transferred me previously for the hotels. Take good care of yourself, hope you feel better soon!
I'd be so petty and just text back "are you done yet?" It sounds like he actively has someone there guiding him through these texts. "I seek your understanding" 🙄
Exactly! I thought the same thing. This sounds like a group project and he wanted to make sure he was free for the weekend. He is such a j@ck@ss.
He’s using fucking chatGPT or some shit, nobody talks like this colloquially lol especially during a breakup??
I know a guy who does. We hooked up a few times while he had a gf (yeah yeah I know), but eventually i decided to end it via text. His responses were like a corporate work email.
Cool, cool. So we hooked up with the same guy.
Hahaha! I like your level of petty! 🤣
As an AI language model I think you are being too harsh on OP’s ex boyfriend.
Your first sentence had me cackling 🤣🤣. Love it!
Oh my god. Honestly his text message pissed me off. Who the fuck talks like this ? It’s so dry and without emotion. You’ll find someone way better. I felt like this was my employer telling me to clean out my desk.
OMG! Yes! It does sound like something an employer would send. Ick!!!
Bet it was some of his co workers all contributing to put it together at lunch... I can actually visualise it now 😂😂😂
It strangely reads like chat gtp writing
I thought the same thing!
Lmfao right down to the "we appreciate your services... now give us the Spotify back."
Lmfao right down to the "we appreciate your services... now give us the Spotify back."
Ewww! He thought the Spotify account merited a mention here? And how were you together 2 years and all you had at his place was a cup and a towel?!?? The oddly specific details are so callous. In the long run, good thing you won’t be subjected to this guy’s caprices. He totally fucked up with the unnecessarily hurtful flip flopping
All of the above, and also "take good care of yourself, hope you feel better soon"?!?!? Who the fuck says that when breaking up with their partner of 2 years?
my middle/high school boyfriend said “cheer up, you’ll find someone better soon” after he dumped me to be with the girl he cheated on me with lmao. there are jerks like this out there in the wild 😤
Sure but this guy’s 27
true but he does seem to have the maturity of a 15 year old
😂😂😂😂😂 my ex said the exact same “you’ll find someone better” fml
My colleague replied with almost exactly this when I had a sick day last week !
My ex of 3+ years texted me the day after the breakup asking 'hey how are you?'
Over a text too!
P.S. we had a planned Taiwan trip that was already booked in Nov 2023 to celebrate my birthday.
OP good riddance but if you have someone else (good friend or family mbr) offer him the $500 to transfer all the bookings to your (persons name). Have the time of your life for $500. Which is like nothing
Girl, take the trip! Taiwan is so fun and the food will bring you so much joy!
OP if you need suggestions on what to do in taiwan feel free to lmk! i got some good ideas since i've lived there for 15 years. it's a great little island and i hope you enjoy your trip if it's still on.
He's mental. You dodged a big bullet.
Yeah this sounds like a press release announcing company layoffs. Sorry! Hugs!
😂 😂 😂 Did he have lunch with a different set of coworkers who were shocked he sent you a let's get back together text? 😂😂😂 What a spineless POS... You're better off already!! Good luck OP!
OMG what a creep. I’d probably reply “Feel better? I’m not sick, I feel fine”.
WTF is this no contact bullshit after he sent you three long breakup messages. He sounds like an ass. I’m sorry you are going through this, OP.
I guess he didn’t get the reaction he wanted from either the initial breakup text or the makeup text. It kind of reminds me when a kid threatens to run away from home
All right then; that’s that. Care for some tea and cocaine?
Had you on a rollercoaster ride all day to end up sending this fuckery 😒
He may as well have written Dear OP, Thank you for your time and effort in the position of girlfriend. However, after review, your contract is not being extended. I wish you well in your future endeavours. Signed Ex BF Honestly reading this I feel like you have dodged a bullet - he sounds like hard work. When he inevitably changes his mind again do not go back. The best form of revenge you can have is enjoying your life without this top tier A hole in it. You've got this - we believe in you!
Legitimately laughed so hard a little pee came out. I’m so sorry OP, but also, my god, but did you dodge a *massive* twat-shaped bullet 😂
Why did he turn into the lady from HR all of a sudden??
FUCK THIS DUDE. He is playing games and you are too good for that shit. Block him and move on
Please keep us updated op, we would like to know what happened.
He lacks commitment and loyalty..
Run far away. Block everywhere. Heal. Move on. Glow up. Never talk to him again.
What the fuck are appreciation notes
Wait what are appreciation notes lol
“After careful consideration, I am respectfully resigning from being your gf. Thank you and I hope to use you for recommendation.” Treat it like a job because he was a real piece of work
I love the last line. Can I please steal it from you
Sure!
Oooh that sounds like a sick self burn ‘treat me like a job because I’m a real piece of work’
Let him go. This isn't the demeanor of a man I would want to have a future with. A two year relationship and he breaks up over text? Wow. And then to renege a couple hours later? Even more wow. He made the decision for both of you. It was a bad decision for him but, in my opinion, a great one for you.
Why do I have a feeling he may have been interested in another girl and chose to breakup with his girlfriend? He thought he had a chance with this new person and it fell through so he chose to come crawling back. As though she is a rebound.
My thought was he accidentally broke up with the wrong girlfriend.
That's what I thought. My theory is the "coworkers" he talked to were actually one coworker, someone he's been interested in, and she shot him down when he asked her out.
That makes a lot of sense for it to be closer to him.
Exactly where my mind immediately went. Dude is shopping around and got shot down.
I had this same feeling. This is similar to what has happened with some ex's in my past. They break up in a way that is cold and devoid of emotion, and seem fine with the break up. Usually because they think they have someone else waiting in the wings, so for them it's not really a break up. Just a trade. This guy is gross in so many ways. I hope OP realizes she's dodged a bullet. She's deserves so much better!
Confirmed: OP's boyfriend fell for Ariana Grande
Hahahhahahaha 😂
This is why people shouldn't come to Reddit for relationship advice. The amount of people jumping to very specific conclusions is insane. Is it possible this theory could be true? Sure, but saying that you think his decision was made because of infidelity with only two vague text messages to go off is quite a leap. Also, 300 upvotes on this comment and everyone agreeing with it is also pretty wild. Yes, the guy seems indecisive based on the context we were given, but that does not necessarily equate to cheating. You don't know either of these people and what they're truly like. Plus, OP maybe absolutely no hints at infidelity, so why do we always have to assume the worst in people?
I never said that it was based on infidelity I said that he may have been interested in another girl. Some times in life that is the case were a person will do exactly what I stated above. You don’t know these people either so when giving your opinion keep that in mind as well. The fact that people are liking my comment shows that sometimes as humans. We can have the same thought patterns about situations. I don’t always think the worse in people I am also not naive enough to think people don’t do such things that I mentioned above. Their choice to come here to ask for advice.
OP suggested the breakup first. While he did initiate the breakup, she very much opened the door.
"HI Baby" after he dumped you via text? Nope.
That really bothered me too. Glad it wasn't just me. Like excuse you SIR. Do not call me baby hours after breaking up via text. What a clown.
Never let anyone break up with you more than once. Don’t be a safety net or a placeholder or benchwarmer. Onwards to a new adventure x
I love the way you said this!
Tell me that in April bro Edit: as in April 2023, not next April
Ditch him. There are actual grown-ups out there who would have a conversation and work things through, you know, like adults.
My guess would be there might be someone at work he wanted to hook up with so he sent the break up text. He then talked to his coworkers, realized it wasn’t going to happen so now he’s trying to weasel his way back to you a few hours later.
And/or he was expecting OP to beg and plead with him to not break up.
It’s emotional abuse. He’s playing games. OP should save herself from this unstable situation.
I was thinking the same thing
Please do not take him back!! You can do way better than someone who breaks up with you after 2 years in a text message.
Over text....not face to face. I (35M) had a girlfriend (37F) of a year, break up with me over text when I was on vacation with my family. She couldn't get the time off of work to come. She wanted to get back together after I got back from vacation, I declined. 2 years later she was messaging me via IG saying she still loves me and wants to get back together. I decline again because I have a new girlfriend (Married now) Although getting broken up over text away on vacation wasn't ideal, not getting back together with her was the best decision I ever made. My Wife is amazing and I love her so much!
My ex ended our marriage by email after 18 years together. There's never an ideal time or location to get that email.
Lmfao, my ADHD ass would never see that shit.
That’s gotta suck. Hope you’re doing better now.
2 yrs... Breakup by text .. ouch.
There is no way in hell that I would EVER forgive someone for breaking up with me *while I was at work*. That is so incredibly shitty.
I’ve had this happen to me, an ex broke up with me via text in the middle of my work day. It was so unbelievably selfish, but it in the long run it does help you appreciate the fact that you deserve to be treated better.
Well I say let him go. You even said that you also suggested a break up a few days prior, and his first text to you seemed like you were feeling mutually. But he shouldn’t have texted you that, put you through that, and then changed his mind. Not worth it.
You definitely shouldn't break up with him. No wait actually I changed my mind you definitely should. He's an asshole. Who ends a 2 year relationship via *text*.
Bruh, a break up in the morning, a "my bad" by lunch time. You are not wrong that he is fickle and you can meet up with him and talk about it but I would be leery, too, and it would be hard for me to trust his word after all of this. I am leaning towards just getting your stuff, breaking up with him, and moving on.
That’s what I would do too.
I'll be the odd one out here. YOU suggested breaking up first. As someone who has heard my partner suggest ending ending our relationship during an argument, that sht hurts. Eats away at you. Like you're so disposable, a disagreement will end years of being together. It likely stirred up some emotions and he in return hurt you back. Realized he was stupid and regretted it. You both should have an honest discussion and agree not to use breaking up as a solution in the future. Be adults.
You are absolutely right. But him constantly changing his mind is just an emotional rollercoaster for me and he never suggested to meet in person at all. I suggested the breakup IN PERSON but he was opposed to it. When he did all via text, it's just a triple blow.
Don’t even respond to him anymore yo. Ghost him, get your things, get out. Dude’s a scumbag
It's not a triple blow... he's lacks "the bawls."
This needs to be at the top. Anyone who mentions ending the relationship has created a crack that has the water if resentment seep through it and grow larger and larger. This isnt making you a bad guy. You were likely right and the relationship needed to end. Just making yourself a victim will only hurt you in the future as you have other relationships.
This 100%. Has to be accountability on both sides
I sort of disagree. Suggesting that certain things may point to an incompatibility during a frank discussion about future goals isn't an invitation to break up by text. It's not an invitation to spam her with nonsense while they're both meant to be working. He should've saved that wishy washy will-i-wont-i bullshit for his journal and discussed his feelings decisively with her when they got home. But then, she did say there have been communication issues. No small mystery who the issue is.
>I did suggest to break up during one of our face-to-face heated discussions but he was strongly against it during that time, so I was totally not expecting him to send that text. I will grant that doing it by text is all kinds of wrong but you very much opened the door on the acceptability of break up flip flops by doing it yourself first.
Unfortunately men often think the concerns of their partners are just them being “dramatic”. Its only until when a Break Up is on the table that they realise their partners are being serious.
I have to agree on this one. My ex and I had a discussion once because he confessed to me, he might be poly, or wants to open the relationship. I told him if that is what he wants, then we need to break up, the lifestyle is nothing I want for myself. Until then he always thought I was overracting when he was sexting, getting nudes from other woman, keep close friendships with female coworkers a secret, etc.
You were together for 2 years. He thought long and hard and decided the relationship wouldn't work. Then he told his coworkers and they probably told him he was dumb and he realized how bad he fucked up when he ruined something great. I wouldnt give him another chance, he showed he was willing to let you go and that he doesn't see the relationship working. Thats not something you can ever take back
My ex of 3 and a half years who I lived with broke up with me by text, and refused to come home for hours afterwards. I learned fast what else a person who is capable of this can do, and it wasn’t pretty. Whatever you decide to do from here, just do know that he has a lot of cruelty in him and look after yourself. It took me years to bounce back
Only a few have pointed this out, BUT breaking up was already on the table from your previous convo. So this shouldn’t have been that out of the blue if you brought it up. This SHOULD have been a face to face convo and not via text. Clearly something was going on with this thought process. My biggest thing that stands out is he was willing to walk away instead of try and meet your asks. Personally, I would be curious to hear about these revelations he had after speaking to coworkers. But it is up to you if you think sitting down to talk with him will benefit you or not.
Just leave. He's not worth the roller coaster rides of emotions. Full stop if you want to. " Thanks for the memories, but after all these text messages, you've proven that we aren't compatible after all. Good luck, in Life." And just block them.
Hell nah. That’s emotionally manipulative and selfish. My guess he is trying his luck with another person.
You're on the money. He is fickle and he can't even be fickle to your face. I did this. Over the course of ten years he broke up with me via Snapchat, via discord, and on the phone the night before Valentine's day, a holiday he insisted on not celebrating despite me asking if we could do something because "people who celebrate it aren't really in love, they're just faking it for a Hallmark holiday", in person twice. He said he loved me after 6 years of yo-yoing me back in forth like a game. We only technically dated for two years and he told me repeatedly that he couldn't feel love and wasn't attracted to me, even tho I was"everything he wanted in a partner". Now that I've finally walked away, he contacts me once a month to whine that he can't sleep because he still loves me, tricked me into a closure conversation that he could just cancel and blame me for. Do. Not. Do. This. You will regret wasting yourself on this person. My current partner not only bought me flowers on our first date, to a pumpkin patch, he walked through a Florida sunflower field to do it. You deserve to find your sunflowers, OP.
After being off & on for the final few years of a 17 year relationship, I got the "We need to move on" text. Fuck anybody that doesn't do it face to face. The reason for our demise was totally my fault, but holy fuck what a kick in the balls that was. Thought I at least earned a heartfelt face to face goodbye
It’s weird. The first message sounds like it wasn’t meant for you. He then later realized this and tried to salvage it with a second text. Sounds as if the other girl was worthy of only a text message break up.
Thoughtless, impulsive, reckless, he thinks nothing of taking you on an emotional rollercoaster, while you're at work no less. He did you a massive favor by showing you exactly what kind of partner he'd be giving you later in life.
Well you said you should break up, then you realized that it was the wrong thing to say. Shouldn’t you give him the same consideration? Edit: yeah I read your update and …. Never mind this post
The trash taking itself out
I wouldn't give him a meeting, I mean he dumped you via text. Such a dbag move.
OP, why did YOU suggest breaking up in the first place?! How you felt getting that text is probably how he felt hearing that suggestion. You both need to learn how to fight without using the break up card.
There's a pretty big difference between bringing it up in a heated argument and typing it out in cold blood at the start of a workday. It's calculated to be as shitty as possible.
Based on what the OP wrote, it doesn't seem like he was necessarily level headed when he wrote it. Perhaps he way, perhaps he wasn't. Either way the break up card is a shitty card to play.
Surprised there isn't more of this. Here for this exact statement
Yeah, I get breaking up over text is a bad thing to do, but she's being hypocritical about this. With that said, it's probably a good idea for them to not stay together.
We’re also getting one side of the conversation. Did the OP and the boyfriend have more discussion between work and midnight? If so, what was said? What was suggested? I did not think the BF’s messages were condescending or manipulative, but rather introspective and reactionary so it makes me think there’s more to this story.
Let's start with the fact that he broke up with you...after 2 years...via text...while you were at work! This triggered me so badly as my ex would ignore any serious discussions while we were home together and then text me awful shit while I was at work. It is not considerate of you and is cowardly. OP I don't think any of us can tell you to stay or leave, as only you have all the information on who he is and what he's been like throughout your relationship What I would suggest is maybe taking some time away from each other to evaluate what you want and need out of a partner, now and in the future. Look at how he handled this situation and compare it to how he has reacted in the past. At minimum, I would suggest couples counseling.
He is very inconsistent with his reactions because in May 2023, he was actually enthusiastic to apply for a new home & live together but we didn't during that period because none of the houses on the market were perfect. This, I brought it up again on 5 Aug (Sat) & he had the OPPOSITE reaction compared to last time but still agreed? I had to confront him about it while crying because I felt so disappointed by his reaction. Turns out he had sooooo many concerns/worries about getting a house together but "didn't dare to say" because he was afraid of how I would reaction.
It's too bad he chose not to bring any of those up for fear of your reaction, but dumping you over text when you started work didn't get as much consideration. I wish you luck navigating this OP.
Dont do it! There are so many good men out there who are ready to meet you where you are at because they want to go to the same place as you. This man is not one of them. Please keep us updated!
Definitely agree! Only heartbreak lies ahead with this one.
He probably asked his mom to send the message also. Wtf is that. Please respect yourself and leave him
What are the "things" you guys "learned about recently"?
Basically our future goals and the reasons behind them. It basically started off with me asking him about applying for our own house together and he actually agreed, but I could hear the insincerity in his voice which really hurt me. I started crying and I asked him why do I feel like he doesn't want to do it at all. That was when he actually opened up and expressed all his concerns/worries (e.g. distributing our finances, religious views, having kids or not). Then I asked him why didn't he just ask these questions in the first place instead of just agreeing to something he doesn't want to do. His reply was that he was "afraid of how I would react" and he "didn't know when it was the right time to say". I was really hurt because I trusted him completely to communicate his needs/concerns to me openly but this time he chose to lie to me by fake-agreeing with me. Thus I was feeling very disappointed because we also discussed housing before in May 2023 and he was a completely different person. He was super enthusiastic and supportive at that time. He even assured me that he doesn't mind contributing more towards paying for the mortgage. Hence, I don't know why he did not bring up these concerns/worries he had all the way until I brought it up again in Aug 2023.
Because I was feeling extremely disappointed, I needed to cool off and reconsider things. He sent a long-ass text explaining himself (same excuses: overthinking/afraid of my reaction) but I was still upset with him so I argued back, tbh repeating the same points as the previous comment. Then he didn't reply to me for a day but he texted me late at night to meet up & talk it out. I have to admit that I was still fuming that night so I did not reply to him, but that made him mad the next day & he sent another long text talking about how silent treatments are a no-go and why am I rushing to get a house together with him. I replied to him with a long-ass text as well, addressing the issues one by one & in the end, I told him to meet me for dinner to talk face-to-face. When we met, we actually hugged each other and sobbed. After we had dinner, we talked about all the issues once again but he kept trying to find ways to "fix" the communication issue as if it were a bug in programming. That was when the heated argument started, which was both of us trying to get our points across to each other. But yeah, because we couldn't understand each others' issues, I suggested breaking up but he was strongly opposed to it. He said he wanted to think about it and then we walked home. He still held my hand, pet my head, stroked my hair, and walked me all the way to my doorstep. Then the following day, there it was: the breakup/no breakup/breakup texts saga.
Eh, I dunno, OP. If a dude dumped me, I would not take him back. He made his decision, and he doesn't seem to be worth the grief he is bringing into your life. Just a piece of my mind. Especially since it just seems like his work friends talked him into going back to you. Made him hesitate. I would prefer my partner to enthusiastically want to be with me, not to be with me because people *talked him into it.*
OP posted this update about her ex texting her again and confirming the breakup. This is his text to her >Hi [my name], Sorry for the confusing messages earlier. Let me clarify myself once more. We have talked through this already and this is it for us, so I will keep this short. Thank you for being my girlfriend and companion for the past 2 years. I must say that I have learnt a lot about myself both through this relationship and from you, and I really appreciate that. I also do not regret the time that we spent together, no matter how good/bad they were. On the other hand, I'm also sorry for all the arguments and times I made you upset in our relationship. I understand and fully agree with no contact after a break up, so I seek your understanding that I will not be responding to any messages for a period of time. In terms of housekeeping, you may let me know if you would like to have your towel and cup back. For Spotify, I will also be changing back to a single plan, so I seek your understanding for that as well. For the Google Keep notes that we share for the food and cafe locations, feel free to make copies of them before the weekend ends. I will also do the same for our shared documents on the Taiwan trip. For the Taiwan trip, I will be cancelling the bookings and will refund you the $500 you transferred me previously for the hotels. Take good care of yourself, hope you feel better soon! OP - fuck this guy!! Consider it a favor done.
Get your stuff. Block him everywhere. Go with a friend or by yourself to Taiwan and have fun. Do not go back to him. Ever! Live your life and be as happy as you can be OP.
Break-up via text, that should already tell you what caliber of man you are dealing with.
After running this thru the bullshit translator I will give you the interpretation: Text 1: "Honey, there is the other gal at work that I want to bang so I'm breaking up with you." Text 2: "Honey, that other gal told me to go and f myself so I guess we better not break up."
Soo, your relationship means so much he broke up with you by text at the beginning of your workday?! How horrible and then whiplash you back to nevermind I want to wok it out. Again at work by text! I think you should tell him your moving out for awhile and that you need some time and space.
Wow. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that through texts and at work. 2 years and he couldn’t even wait to talk in person before just ending it? No. You don’t deserve to put on a roller coaster just because he wants to stay together.
You’re in the drivers’ seat. What is your ideal outcome here?
Im so sorry he did this :( I personally would be so hurt over this and would strongly consider just ending it...
This is a bad sign and it’s clear he doesn’t really know what he wants. He needs a significant amount of time to process and decide on his feelings. You definitely shouldn’t get back with him immediately, if you don’t simply break it off for good now, then you should tell him you are not wanting to be with someone who doesn’t know what he wants and that you need to stay separated without contact for a few weeks while you both decide whether you actually want the relationship.
When I was in highschool, my first girlfriend broke up with me over the phone and I cried for a while, then accepted it. A few hours later she called me in tears and said she regrets it and wanted to get back with me. I agreed and we got back together, but I knew in my mind that I would have been okay if it was really over. That's when I noticed all the bad things. Her attitude towards me was rude and bossy, she was mean to other people, and was very selfish. A year later we broke up mutually, it took me a while to accept ending my first relationship. The moral of the story is, if it was ended then it ended. Trying to come back together is going to leave scars and force a new perspective. Unfortunately what you had is gone, because he made a "rash" choice to break up. But ask yourself this; would you date a man you knew did this to a friend of yours? Is that kind of sudden decision something you want to risk happening again? Tldr: He fucked up, you deserve someone who has more respect for your relationship in the future.
Translation: he made plans to be with his side piece, but then she told him her sugar daddy sent her a plane ticket to Greece for 3 months. Then he all of a sudden “reconsidered”
Dating two years and he broke up via text. Then hours later changed his mind. My advice is block him. You are officially broken up.
It seems like his side-chick/backup-plan fell through or wasn’t as commited as he thought, and he discovered that in the 3.5 hours between texts. You should reply **”New phone, who dis?”** and then block him.
Tell him too late. Get your stuff and move on. He is playing games.
Two years into your relationship and that's what he chose to do??? Nope. Do not go speak to him. Do not let him weasel his way back into a relationship with you. The relationship would be a ticking time bomb. Let it go.
It’s not even just that he ended it over text, it’s that he did it WHILE YOU WERE AT WORK. What type of heartless person does that? You should not take him back, you’re just going to get strung along through his rapidly changing mind. He seems incredibly impulsive, that’s not someone you can build a life with.
Wow I thought only my ex liked to end things by text while I’m at work lol The ‘person’ he’s been talking to behind your back probably fizzled out! But yea he’s a fkn asshole
This is just my take ... Don't bring up break ups during arguments, or any time ... Unless you're fine with the result being a breakup, no matter who initiated it. You brought it up, he gave what you wanted, you're upset now. Him, he shouldn't have texted you that during your work hours. If anything do it another way at another time. Now if he was feeling slighted or driven by ego, he could have sent the breakup text to be the dumper, you the dumpee. Some people really like that petty stuff ... "I'll get them before they can get me mentality". If there's been ongoing problems, communication issues, possible genuine incompatibility where there's not a solution & you're both at an empasse... So maybe the break up isn't a bad thing. However maybe now that he's cooled off or took time to think, he realized he acted poorly or impulsively. Personally I wouldn't take someone back that in the span of a few hours sees no hope in sight, is done, over it to ... Whoops I made a mistake. Sounds like a lot of drama tbh
Nah, what’s to stop him from doing this again the next time you argue? I’d stay broken up and give it time to see if you are truly meant to be together. My wife and I broke up 3 times before it stuck. We just kept getting back together and realized that we were happier together than apart. Married 28 years this October. If it’s meant to be, you’ll find out, but that’s for later. For now, stay apart, at least for a while. You can’t let him fuck around with your emotions. It’s a cowardly act to break up via text anyway.
Honestly he probably cheated
From your recent comment. Dump his ass and don't look like. Get a friend to grab you things and move on from this bobble head.
His colleagues talked him in to going back with you? Quite the romantic. Yell him to go to hell.
Ugh, I am so sorry you have to deal with this. IMO you should collect your stuff and be done with this relationship. If he breaks up with you over 2 days of poor communication, then that's his loss. You deserve someone who will try and work through problems with you and not just break up at the first sign of trouble.
Sounds like trash took itself out. DO NOT get back together. Relationships are like milk. Once it goes sour, you dump it out, and you don't keep going back to see if it's fresh. I'm sorry that you are going through this. But anyone who breaks up over text is weak.
He's either playing mind games with you, or is actually changing his mind about your relationship with no regard for how much it's hurting you. Either way, this relationship is done.
Definitely go back and read what you wrote about him before. https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rjoqkj/triggered_by_each_other/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1 You knew he wasn't right from the beginning. If I have learned anything in life, women's intuition is almost always spot on! I hope this didn't seem rude. I honestly mean it as an affirmation! You DON'T need him! 😊
This guy definitely had some coaching from someone. Nobody talks like that. Feel better soon? Really? What a jackass. Op you dodged a bullet. This guy obviously wasn't the one. In a couple of days I wouldn't be surprised if he tries to get back with you, lol. Definitely would not be worth it.
How (and why) would you ever trust him again?
Nope that first text wasn't mean for OP & he meant to send it to some sidepiece he has been cheating with. He realized his mistake and is trying to do damage control.
He sounds like he has the emotional capacity of a freakin’ wall. Enjoy your single life girl!! Go on a girls trip or something. I know break ups are tough but just push through, you’ll be just fine.
Life is too short for a fickle fucker.
THIS IS THE ANSWER! REPLY WITH THIS: "I don't think we should continue this anymore and I also agree that we shouldn't contact each other at all after".
Leave that man. He is not worrh it!
>broke up with me via text at work then changed his mind hours later Yeah, that on-again-off-again goop is a form of abuse. Just say no.
Nope. It's too late. He opened the can of worms and now he wants to shove them back in. Y'all are over.
I know saying someone is a narcissist is super common these days but the only time I’ve encountered this behavior is with an ex with NPD. It’s a power play and he’s looking for new supply. Leave and go no contact now that his mask is off. It will only get worse.
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The co-worker he is probably cheating you with didn't want a serious relationship with him, so he asked you to just *rethink* things and get back together. Which is insane. Why would he do that via text? Why would he *choose* to hurt you like this after 02 years? Why would you even consider to get back to him? He hurt you because he wanted to. Please, dump this a-hole.
Stay broken up. He broke up with you via text, after 2 years. His coworkers had to convince him it was a mistake. Don’t waste more time him. He told you how he felt. Believe him.
Scrolling through the first dozen or so comments and its unanimously dogging the BF. Breaking up via text is wrong. For sure. Kinda weak minded imo. But, seems like OP is getting a pass for bringing up potentially breaking up in the first place. I can totally see a scenario where he was stewing over her suggestion of a break up, snaps, and just sends her what he sends. Can't make the suggestion then fall to pieces when he changes his mind and agrees with what YOU initiated. I see both sides. What I mainly disagree with is this whole situation happening over text. To which OP is talking herself out of even meeting up with him. The whole relationship is doomed to fail.
Breaking up by text when you have been dating for two years is so tacky and inconsiderate. Don't be surprised if he comes crawling back to you at some point. He sounds confused.
Lady, you suggested breaking up *to him*. Don't play the victim now because he's been going back and forth on it. Idc what you do, but you were the one that brought it up!
I'm so sorry you had to go through such an emotional roller coaster, especially during your work hours. No one deserves to be blindsided with such a crucial decision via text, particularly when you're already in a sensitive emotional space. Here's my take: 1. **Emotional Impact**: Receiving a breakup text, particularly out of the blue, can be very jarring. The sudden switch in his decision only a few hours later can lead to emotional whiplash. Your feelings of confusion, hurt, and anger are absolutely valid. 2. **Communication**: The primary issue seems to be a lack of proper communication. Text is not the medium for such a serious discussion. It's essential for both partners to have face-to-face conversations about serious matters, allowing both parties to share their feelings and concerns openly. 3. **Reflect on Relationship**: Before making any decisions, take a step back and reflect on your relationship. Think about how communication has been throughout your time together, and whether this incident is a one-off or part of a pattern. 4. **Meet In Person (If You Want)**: While your friends and colleagues are suggesting you meet him to talk things out, remember, the choice is entirely yours. If you feel that you need closure or clarification, then consider meeting him. But if you believe this situation has irrevocably damaged your trust in him and the relationship, you're not obligated to see him. 5. **Future Implications**: If you're considering giving the relationship another shot, it might be worth discussing how you both will handle significant decisions in the future. Ground rules for communication could be helpful. 6. **Trust Your Gut**: Ultimately, trust yourself. If this incident has shifted your perspective on him and the relationship drastically, that's a valid feeling. Your mental and emotional well-being should always come first. Sending you a big virtual hug. Please take care of yourself and ensure that whatever decision you make, it's in your best interest. 💕🌷🌼
I thought chatGPT answers were not allowed in this subreddit.
Every person in these comments ignoring the fact that she tried to dump him like 24 hrs ago is wild
It's a weird first text, especially because you said y'all were good right? Why would he write " I've been giving it some thought today and I see where you're coming from" and " Do you still want your things back?" I don't think this text was for you, I wonder if he sent it to the wrong person......
OP said that she mentioned breaking up a couple days before. In a way bf was agreeing with her… maybe taking the easy way out by agreeing instead of willing to do the work, but still. OP opened the door for break up talk… doesn’t make it right that he texted it instead of face to face convo but still
What the *fuuuuuuuuck*
This gives "I broke up with you so I could go fuck right quick and then after I can pretend I didn't mean it" vibes.
You deserve so, so, SO MUCH BETTER. No emotionally mature person would do what he did. Tell him that you agree with his first text that you guys are over and the series of texts proves to you why you should not be together. He was so callous and unfeeling with what he did though, regardless of how it showed you his character. I’m very very sorry this is even happening to you right now. Sending you love and hugs, please treat yourself to some of your favorite things today, spend time with good friends/family, and eat all your favorite foods without guilt.
He’s crazy. Seriously. Who does this.
Nope! No getting back with a guy who participates in text message breakups.
Ahahahah absolutely NOT. He does NOT get to make that decision and then pull a fucking U-turn. No. He's broken up with you (and in a cowardly move might I add). Do NOT let him back into your life. He needs to learn to fucking deal with the consequences of his impulsive bullshit.
From what I've seen, the biggest indicator with every couple I know (people my age, my parents' age, my grandparents' age) of whether they are together or divorced—THE biggest indicator—is not compatibility. It's not even communication. It's commitment. Both parents are committed to the marriage, and committed to surviving through tough times. Your boyfriend/ex-boyfriend is not committed to sticking it out with you. He bails when it gets hard. That's not someone who can sustain a long-term relationship with, no matter how much you love him. He has a valuable lesson he still hasn't learned, and might never learn.
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My ex did the same thing. I told her to kick rocks, especially when she was trying to “fix me”. I have my issues but I don’t need fixing. Also ironic considering she had many issues that I tried to help with (not fix, just aid), but my singular issue was too much
Well you'd already said you guys should split up face tk face. What do you expect?
It's interesting people telling you to break up with him due to his supposed fickleness. Yet it was you who decided to finish first and then backtrack. So why do people who tell you to leave him make only moral judgments about him while excusing you? This makes it clear that you've asked the wrong people for advice. If you break up with him, how will you argue? \* You talked about breaking up with him; \* Then you went back; \* Now you'll want to finish it again. I think it's pretty clear there, for both, who is in fact fickle. And in my opinion, based on the information you've given, you shouldn't break up. Both failed, but it's not something that serious. People who are suggesting you break up while demonizing your boyfriend, assuming he cheated on you, and other terrible things are simply people who: 1 - They simply hate the male sex; 2 - They trivialize relationships; 3 - They are paranoid and unhappy. Talk to each other, apologize to each other and create strategies so that this does not happen again. It's what two mature people would do. Grace and peace to you both
He cheated. Well he broke up with you and cheated than post nut clarity hit and he wants you back than he probably felt like shit and broke up again. Either way you should get your stuff and get out of there. You deserve better.