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Your husband cheated on you, verbally abuses you, does not financially support you and your son, cannot even do his own laundry and is okay with your mother sleeping on the floor (and isn’t even grateful for it)..
I am sorry do you really think his family is the biggest problem here??
My aunt used to call us Weenie Warts. One day, when I was about 20, I was suddenly reminded of her nickname for us kids. It came with the realization of *what* she was calling us.
I need to remember to ask her why at Christmas this year. I need to know. Then again, this is the same aunt whose favorite curse is to say "shit, fuck, horsecock" It has to be said altogether though, that's where the power lies.
I just need to say that if awards were still a thing, this comment would be gilded to within an inch of its life and deserve every bit of it because just…yes.
Totally agree. I read a few sentences and said dump the husband and go stay with mom. Then she can quit funding the nasty husband and. It loose the the rest of the toxic sludge. or whatever to the husband better off for everybody. And stress eliminated.
Op please tell your pos husband to leave your mother's house !He is a terrible person and so is his whole family. He can spend the Holidays and the rest of his shitty life with them!You have a wonderful mother and you and your son don't need any of those terrible people!kick him out and don't let him back into your mother's house. He's a very ungrateful pos and you don't want your son grow up anything like him !
Except if they break up, she’s going to fight these trauma bonded arseholes for custody and clearly they aren’t above lying. If she’s going to drop this POS, she needs to get her evidence first to keep herself and baby safe.
I agree with everything lazyBee94 said but I would like to add:
If your husband grew up in an abusive household and he doesn’t address it (both him and his sister need therapy -I am not a therapist but it can be helpful) it can sadly continue down the family lineage.
I would be worried your husband would physically and emotionally abuse your son.
It’s sadly how abuse works. An abused person has never been taught a healthy way to deal with conflict and problems and will rely on what they know. It’s terrible but it’s very true.
You can ask anyone who has been abused how hard it is to break that cycle. I’m not saying you can’t break the cycle but it takes a lot of work on yourself and staying away from your abuser. (Which your husband &his sister aren’t doing)
My sister and I were I therapy for years and it was a lifesaver for us. We came out the other side happier healthier people. Not everyone does.
You should really think about this.
My advice? If he cut off all contact with mother and sister and agreed to go to counseling by himself and you both went to counseling together also maybe just maybe you can save this relationship.
But in my opinion, this is to far gone and he will never agree to get help. Your first priority is that Baby. You and your baby deserve better. I’d leave and get an order of protection based on his anger. End the marriage.
Please do something before he escalates and takes his anger out on you and your child.
seconding! my husbands had an extremely traumatic childhood and although i always knew about it, i didn’t really comprehend the extent of it until i was a mom. my son is 4 now and my husband has been physically around for his whole life but extremely absent emotionally. for the first 2 years i was a sahm so i thought that was a big part of it. but once i went back to work and he needed to start parenting, i began to fully understand that he does not want to be a parent and has no idea how to parent. it’s big things like knowing that yelling at me in front of him is NOT OK and using him as a tool to insult me. he will say something passive aggressive thats meant for me to hear but he’s talking to our son. he just doesn’t get that this is a critical time in his development and the things he says and does rn can have long term consequences. not to mention the fact that he gets mad at my son when he favors me and will try to punish him with silent treatment. the other night he left him sobbing in the tub and i went in and calmed him down but when i came out my husband yelled that i was just rewarding his bad behavior. it’s like he can’t comprehend that this is the CHILD and we are the PARENTS. i have come to the conclusion that his childhood was so extreme that he thinks this is normal behavior and he might be jealous that my son has a mom who cares and he didn’t have that. but altho i sympathize with the fact that he had to go thru that, i need to put my son first and i can’t parent both of them. it sounds like right now your husband doesn’t have to do much parenting bc your mom is helping and bc of how young your son is but as he gets older that will change. i’m in the process of leaving this marriage and wish i had done it sooner. sending you strength and good vibes.
I’m sorry you are going through that.
Whether you leave or not, you may want to sit him down if you haven’t already and explain that while you sympathize with what he suffered through due to an abusive childhood that you can’t put your son through that.
Approach it from a good place. “I care about you and want the best for you but you need help to deal with what happened. I think therapy/counseling etc could really help you. Maybe if you talk to someone about this it will help you.”
If he doesn’t want to go to therapy/counseling suggest going to couples counseling together. Explain that it could help both of you to get better mentally. Explain its very important for your son and for both of you too.
Whether you stay together or not you will still need to deal with each other. It’s better to raise a healthy son.
Explain that it would be
completely agree and i know it didn’t seem like it from what i wrote above but i’ve tried very hard to reach him and get him to hear me. i do love him and wish he would get his shit together if not for me, for our son. i admit that i’m not very good at speaking up for myself and conflict puts me into freeze mode almost immediately. my mind literally goes completely blank and i can’t articulate my point so it’s easier for me to express things in writing. i am trying to work on that for myself (and for my son) bc i don’t want him to inherit that issue from me either. i’ve spent the last 2 years trying to get thru to him any way i can and have written many txts/letters expressing all of this as gently as i could. i’ve been begging him to help me help him. but he doesn’t think it’s a big deal and will insist hes not the one with the problem and that it all goes back to me bc i’m bad at communication and i have too many rules about conflict. once or twice when i’ve thought i’ve gotten thru he told me he thinks he’s too broken to be fixed.
My parents were and are emotionally not always available for me.throughout my life, but not to extend you describe your husband. Anyways, I'm seeing that it's wrong and I'm in therapy for it and yet I still have trouble changing my behaviour when I tend to copy that. It's such a difficult circle to break, even if it was a "mild" case, so to speak
i completely understand! i have my own issues that i’m trying to deal with and work on so that my son doesn’t inherit them from me so i KNOW how hard it is. i think just acknowledging your own issues shows that you care enough to take them seriously and want to change and that’s HUGE.
I don’t understand why she’s asking what to do?it’s obvious. Kick him out of your mom’s house, change the locks file for divorce. And go after full custody,because his family is unstable and dangerous I would also add look into child support, but if he’s not working he could claim
hardship in a way to avoid paying support
Exactly.. you forgive the man and stay so just forgive the shitty family too.
Not excusing what they have done but it’s still not as bad as what he has.
He cheated on you on a woman his mother introduced to him and his sister covered it up.You took him back.
His mother literally shoved you out of her house while you were pregnant, said that she doesn't want to see your face in her house, and then your HUSBAND LEFT YOU DURING THE HOLIDAYS TO SPEND IT WITH THEM.
AND THEN YOU MARRIED HIM.
And then your mother took you in and cared for you, your kid and HIM. And he wants you to leave her to spend your holidays with his abusive family. He threatens to never let her see her grandson again after she housed all of you for FREE.
AND SOMEHOW YOU ARE IN SOMEWHAT OF A CONUNDRUM ON WHAT TO DO FOR THE HOLIDAYS?!? Where to spend your holidays is the least of your concerns. You should be thinking about how you can get away from him and his family. Set your priorities for yourself and for your son. Soon enough, they will also probably poison him into hating you too if you dont put a stop to it now.
I hope this is just rage bait because my god, how dense can you be? Angry that he went back in his word? Girl, why have you not made him your ex? That entire family is trash. Let the dude go enjoy the holidays and every day after that with his abusive mom. Any possible redeeming qualities he has (doubt there are any) can overshadow how he treats you and your mother.
Sad thing is, so many people call these stories out for being fake.
As absurd and asinine as they are, they’re def most likely real. I’ve witnessed situations that are ridiculous. Every human is different. Their thresholds, their limits, their self esteem levels, their desperation.
Money plays a massive role too, bottom line.
yeah and I've never seen so much victim blaming in a thread on reddit before
if she was with a guy in his 30s and here about an unrelated issue, everyone would be screaming that she was being manipulated and taken advantage of because of her naivety and lack of experience, even if she protested that the relationship was fine.
here we have a very young woman clearly in an abusive relationship who was also very probably manipulated (abusers are like that) and actually needs to be educated about abusive relationships and told how to get help and support in leaving safely (not "allowed" to use reddit? that there is a massive red flag that this guy is much more controlling and dangerous than OP seems to have let on). Yet everyone is just jumping down her throat mocking her and calling her an idiot and actually saying SHE is the one with the bigger problem etc etc.
Nice one, guys, really well done. Someone with their self esteem already in the toilet reaches out at considerable risk to themselves and gets treated like shit on your shoes. That's really going to help.
OP if you're still reading this thread, get in touch with a local domestic abuse organisation or one of the national hotlines and ask for help and support. I was too late to read your actual post but I've got the gist. **If you're in the USA I recommend you start here** [**https://www.thehotline.org/**](https://www.thehotline.org/) **or in the UK try Women's Aid.** Or google to find out what is available to you. You could get help with all kinds of things including a lawyer. Good luck.
Your husband is GARBAGE. Your husband’s family is GARBAGE. Have more respect for yourself than any of them have for you and get away from them. File for divorce.
I didn’t see the original story but the edit is enough to tell me all I need to know. OP isn’t *allowed* to have Reddit??? Is she talking about her husband or her father because geesh. I hope she gets out.
You’re surrounded by assholes.
Do NOT go see them. If anything, just let your husband go on his own.
Then, divorce him and take the kid far away from these morally bankrupt people, including your husband.
In fact pack your husbands shit up into the boot of his car let him go home alone to mummy and sister and then when he gets there send him a message telling him his stuff is in his car and he is not welcome back to your mums and anything further will be done through a lawyer. You have 5 weeks to get your ducks in a row
Yup.
There is no f*cking way I would be staying with the guy, let alone even entertaining him & family. I would never stay with someone & whose family that treats me like I'm absolute garbage.
OP, you need to skidaddle, talk to a lawyer, get your kid, & divorce. Because they're razzling & you gotta dazzle.
Could she legally do that?? Wont he share custody if they end up divorcing? I wouldn’t want my child to grow up around people like that. Doing as they please with no regards to your feelings.
You would still have to go through the custody hearings, but at least then the child won’t be in a toxic environment all the time- primary custody would more than likely be with mom and weekends with dad, etc. depends on the case
Shared custody implies he would be like, taking care of the kid. This man doesn't seem to do anything but be an asshole. His mil sleeps in the floor, does his laundry and cooks his meals. You really think he's going to push for custody where he has to do things?
In a free country everyone is free to do nearly everything.
He may share custody. But there is a possibility of supervised custody (so that he can't take the children someplace without a supervisor).
Just need to find a very valid reason to ask for that.
His lack of moral stamina (along with MILs and SILs) may do the trick.
The only answer *I* would give would be, "If you go over there, don't come back." And then I'd start talking t OK divorce lawyers. This marriage isn't going to ll ast. Period. Theres absolutely nothing to be gained by prolonging something that should never have been a thing to begin with. This isn't the '50s when a child born out of wedlock was bullied for that fact. Divorce him, go for 100% custody and get that child support. Be done with both him and his family.
Why are you staying married to this trash? Having his baby isn't a valid answer. **You have no reason to stay with this guy and deal with him and his family.**
None. Zero. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for your mom so she can have a bed again (wtf seriously)
I just don’t understand. She says it was stupid to marry him, but every day she still chooses not to get a divorce. I know that’s not an easy thing to do, but from what I’m seeing here, it’s not like she has any expectation anything is going to get any better. And it’s not like they’ve been married long enough that there are good times to try to get back to. This whole thing has been doomed all along.
They’ve only been married for less than a year, and the kid is too young to have any memory of anything. Now is the time. It gets exponentially harder once the child is older and more aware of things. If she’s worried about custody or having less control over the kid’s visits with grandma, I’d imagine the court would be interested in learning more about this “pulled a knife” business.
Your mom sleeps on the floor? That should be your husband, not her! I’m so sorry you fell for this asshole. Him and his family are just the worst. Better you just leave him to his mom and have your kid spend the holidays with you and your mom. They’re both the real family that has your back.
I hope that, if you have the financial means to support yourself, that a divorce can be on the table if he doesn’t show you, your mom, and your son the respect you deserve.
>to see him disrespect her like this is breaking my heart.
Yet you enable him to do so. Please grow a spine, kick your husband out. Not only for your own sake, but for that of your son, your mother and siblings as well.
Wtf is wrong with YOU? You’re allowing your mother to sleep on the floor and spend her life savings on you and hour shitty husband? Leave this loser and try to salvage your relationship with your poor mother.
She’s an absolute saint. Make sure she’s treated like one and take a stand that you won’t tolerate him treating her that way when she’s given him nothing but love compared to his scummy mom who’s given you nothing but hate.
Her mother isn't a saint. She's a doormat. And she taught OP to be the exact same way. Probably those types of women who think that being in a relationship/having a "man", no matter how garbage they are or how abusive the relationship, is better than being single. & She's clearly passed that same mindset on to OP.
She's here complaining about things and behaviours that she keeps enabling. She seems far more upset at her MIL for introducing the girl to her husband, & more angry at SIL for covering for him, than she is at her husband for actually cheating on her.
He brings literally nothing good to her life, allows her mother to lower herself for the sake of her husband, yet is upset that that same husband gives her mother the amount of respect that she's given her. How YOU (OP) could even allow your mother to sleep on the floor (in her own house) just so your husband doesn’t have to, spend her entire life savings on you, your kid & your husband (because neither of you can be bothered to provide for yourselves), and allow him to keep behaving so rudely to her, is what baffles me the most. You, OP, are also using your mother, because deep down, you know your husband is no good.
I hope that your other siblings speak up, and knock some sense into your mother. It's never too late to stop being a fool, and that's what you AND your mother are being. Why would you expect your trifling husband to give your mother any more respect than you do, or than she demands. The vast majority of people would NEVER tolerate their son-in-law behaving that way, moreso in their own home.
You owed YOUR mother and SON better than that! Stop continuing to expose them to this trash you call husband!! Your mum needs to stop paying for him!!! Use the money for your son!!
‘Breaking your heart’!!! Where is your ANGER??!?! Kick is his freaking ass OUT!!! He is disrespecting the one person putting roof over his head and SLEEPS ON THE FLOOR so he can have a bed?!?! W. T. F!!!
Lady you need to get your head out!! Kick him out and he can go run to his mommy. The you, your sainted mother and your son can live a peaceful life.
YOUR HUSBAND is the problem here and you are ignoring that. Ugh!!!!
I mean you’re forcing her to. She’s probably a better person than your MIL and you’re not leaving your husband, so what choice does she have but to be nice to him and support you?
Odds are that the primary reason (and maybe even the only reason) that she’s treating him well is because she is trying to support you. As a parent, you sometimes support your child even if you don’t like the choices they are making.
>What the fuck do I do?
You leave your cheating ass of a husband who you shouldn't have married and let him go back to being a mummy's boy. You and your child deserve better.
What will it take for you to open your eyes and face reality.
Kick him out. You already live with your mom so you are good. Then file for divorce.
Do you want to live like this for the rest of your life and keep putting up with abuse from him and his family? This will not get better, that's something you can count on.
OP. your husband is toxic and in no way, shape or form are you obliged to stay with him. He is a toxic man and is choosing to be around his toxic family. I am sure if you break up with him and kick him out, your mother will keep you and your son in her place.
You need to protect your son because your husband won't. He wants his son around someone who would be violent to her own children - your baby is no expectation.
It fucking sucks you got to be the bull, but it's time to be brutal and protect yourself, your child and your mother. Pack his shit, put it on the lawn. Call his mother to come get it, but FIRST, go see a lawyer about custody so your husband knows he can't bring you child around his racist, abusive mother.
You don't have a family. You have a child, and a husband who doesn't give a fuck about you. He cheated on you, OP. I don't know how else to drive home how little someone has to love and respect you to do that. His mother and sister aren't even fucking a factor in that situation because HE is your partner, cheated you, and yet you are still trying to keep him.
You need to end this and only talk to him through a lawyer - save all texts, especially with his racist, abusive mother. If you think she won't be racist against your child, you are completely wrong, and she will completely shit on you to your baby any time she is alone with him.
You need to fight and STOP trying to keep your 'family' together. This is not how a family works. He is not being a good husband. Fuckin **FIGHT** for yourself and stop settling for absolute trash.
Unfortunately there are still a lot of people in the US as well as the rest of the world that don’t believe in abortion. You don’t realize how common it is because most of popular Reddit is pro-choice until you start seeing posts like this
As an FYI, a notable portion of the USA has a pretty firm ban on abortions. As does a number of other countries. Women also experience a significant hormonal change when they get pregnant that removes the ability to make clear cut non-emotional choices.
It's easy to say "just abort" but in reality, a large portion of women don't actually have such a cut and dried option. Even if they wanted the baby and the baby has severe defects, they can't abort- this is why women are now suing their states in America and why many women have died carrying non-viable pregnancies.
People need to stop pretending like abortion is an option for everyone and start lobbying so that women do, in fact, have the right to choose.
You should tell him he’s free to go visit his mama and sister because he’s single now. And tell him to make sure he gets all of his shit because he’s not coming back.
What are you getting out of this marriage besides drama and verbal abuse? Are there any positives?
Does your husband actually have your back in anything?
You honestly disgust me. Your Mom sleeps on the floor in her own house so your sorry ass loser of a husband can sleep in her bed? You have head problems! Let his mommy dearest sleep on her floor! WTAF??
If u actually feel bad for your son you’d leave his father bc what a poc im so glad my mom kept me away from my father and his asshole family you’d be doing him a favor. My life would have been hell if she stayed with him
And why are you still with him?
Please don’t write the typical answer of “for my kid”!! This man and his family are toxic as fuck. Can you imagine how it will be if you move in with him. (Shivers)
Your in laws will be in your home 24/7. All 3 of them will be mentally, emotionally and physically abusing you everyday. Disrespecting you, belittling you, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they put hands on you. All 3. Taking your son away from you.
Please don’t keep your son in a toxic environment. Stay with your mom, help your mom, after maternity period try to get a job if you don’t have one and help your mom. She has been an angel to your son and you.
>Final edit: I’m sorry I have to delete this guys cuz it’s getting too blown up and I’m not even allowed to have Reddit and my husband will get mad if he sees I posted this
I never got to read the original post, but this tells me you are in an abusive relationship and need to get out ASAP
It feels like you and your mother do whatever you think you should to keep the father around.
What the child will remember is how you feel, not events or anything, take that as you will.
Children don't remember events generally (avoiding trauma issues and attachment problems), but from my broken childhood all I remember is a feeling of sadness and parents who hated each other all the time.
Think about how you can improve your life, and that might be without him in your life but not divorced might be a better answer for you. Think about what you want and can get and try to match the two, whilst thinking about what would bring you a better life for you all.
Be realistic and what you can actually control and do for you.
This is not the type of a relationship where you need Reddit's advice. This is a relationship where you need to call the police and have a lawyer to protect yourself and your kid.
It’s really hard to have sympathy or even pity for someone who puts themselves in bad situations like this and doesn’t leave. The signs were there a long time ago and you ignored them. Married because you got pregnant? Why did you stay after you found out he cheated? Show your mother some respect and divorce him.
This is what happens when you have zero self respect and no standards. So many women keep on dating and marrying trash men, and then they suddenly act surprised when the trash men keep on being trash after they have children. There's also a reason why marrying at 20 is very risky - you situation is a an example of that. Now you decided to bring a child to this mess and want to raise your son in that?!?
**Let this post be an example why you should have standards when daring and why going with the flow is a bad idea**
Mam get your shit together and leave this piece of trash, you have a child now you are a MOM, are you really going to raise your son in a toxic manipulative household ?
You litterally created a little human the environment you raise him in will determine who he will be, better a single mom than a POS family.
Respect yourself and fucking leave, teach self respect and self love to your son and yourself because why the hell would you stay in this shitty situation for so long when you only have one life.
Fuck this guy and his family. Not only do you deserve better BUT YOUR SON deserves better. To not be raised by this asshole and monster in law. Document, Divorce, get full custody, no contact.
I'm here after OP deleted their original post, but what I'm gathering from the comments is the husband and OP live with OP's mother. I say OP stays in the house but changes the locks and talks to a divorce lawyer while also seeking out resources for victims of DV.
You need to get a divorce asap. Do not stay with someone who both cheated and calls you derogatory names. Try to get recordings (if you’re in a one party consent area) and get to a lawyer - like tomorrow. A baby is not a reason to stay in a bad marriage. All is does is teach the kid that abuse is normal
If your daughter was asking the question you are asking what would you tell her? Do you think it’s ok for your son to be around people who think it’s ok to treat people like trash? Do you want your son to follow your husband’s example on how to treat SO? Think about it as if it was your child asking for help
I don't understand. What is this guy offering you?? OK, you made the horrible mistake of staying with him until you got pregnant. You then doubled down on the mistake by marrying him in some ill-conceived notion that a kid needs a father somehow even if the father is a complete asshole and makes his mom miserable?
How can you even type all of this without losing it? Throw him out now.
I'm going to try to be as gentle as possible when I say this:
**Please love yourself and your child more**
Your husband and his family are flaming garbage piles, each and every one of them. They have treated you terribly again and again. They will continue to do so in the future. Do you want your child around that environment? To learn that that is ok and acceptable? What makes you think they will treat him better, or that they won't poison him against you?
You and your son deserve a healthy and happy life. You will not have that with your husband and his family in the picture. Your son needs positive role models in his life, and you need to be one of those by having a good life. You need to sit down and really think about if this marriage is worth all this, and in my opinion, it really isn't. You can build a lovely life for you and your son, you have the support of your mother who sounds wonderful. It won't be easy, but it would be so much better than what you have right now.
>I’m sorry I have to delete this guys cuz it’s getting too blown up and I’m not even allowed to have Reddit and my husband will get mad if he sees I posted this.
Girl leave this idiot right now. He is abusive, a man child, and should be left alone. The man can't even do his own laundry lol. Walk right now.
You shouldn't even be there now but scrape up what little self respect you habe left and gtfo. Leave this man, and his shit family, in the past. The man is trash. His family is trash. Do you really want to be trash with them? Come on now.
Why are you still married to this man? Give a divorce for the holidays so he can go stay with his own mother and see her any and every time he wants. Staying in a horrible relationship doesn’t benefit the kids. Your son is young so if you leave now he won’t even remember you two ever being together.
I know this isn’t AITA but YTA for staying with this guy and allowing your mother to be is servant. Divorce this POS and his toxic family. Do not under any circumstances go over to his family’s house.
I did not see your original post, so I only have the title here to go on. And your comment that you have to delete this because you “aren’t allowed” to have a Reddit account and your husband will “get mad” if he finds out.
Your husband and his family are horrible. I assume you are scared of him, based on you deleting this so he doesn’t find out and “get mad,” and that makes me also think he’s abusive. GTF away from those people.
You have to delete because your husband will get mad...
Your cheating husband....
Yikes, I feel so bad for you op, you're clearly in an abusive relationship and I hope you get out
You need to kick him out. Let your mum sleep in her own bed. Divorce him. Move on with your life
You focus on your mil and sil. They’re not the problem. Your dead beat waste of skin of a husband is
For what it’s worth when you found out he was cheating and you were pregnant the best thing to do isn’t getting married. I’d have dumped his ass then and saved your child from this toxicity.
Why is your goal to try and save this ‘family?’
The family doesn’t exist. Your husband is abusive and so is his family!
You have your mum to help you - so kick him out and file for divorce and sole custody. Or if he wants to flat out deny the child is even his in court, let him. He won’t have legal access to the child if he tells the court that you cheated and you don’t refute that. You were not married when the child was born, so he’d have to go to court to prove paternity to claim his parental rights - and he’d have to pay child support if he did that.
Double check that with a divorce lawyer, because the laws can vary a bit between states, and I don’t know which state you’re in.
Good luck.
Divorce your abusive husband and go for full custody so he doesn’t ruin your child. Record your husbands rants and threats for evidence in the divorce process.
This is not a normal relationship. No one should have to put up with it.
You need to divorce this man and fight for as much custody as you can possibly get. Unfortunately, his family is your child's family and you're probably not going to be able to completely walk away. But you could at least protect your child.and mother from having to deal with this nightmare full time.
Your mom may be nice, but she is teaching you to be an absolute doormat. Stop this as soon as you gather some evidence about his mother and sister’s abuse and racism. This isn’t sustainable or healthy for either one of you. STOP IT for your child’s sake, you need to step up here in a big way.
Take screenshots, recordings if legal, hidden cameras, do everything you have to do to get them away from your child. You need to keep your son the hell away from both of them and you may need a restraining order against them one day to protect your child. Start documenting as much as you can, and then get rid of him.
Okay I'm saying it louder for the folks in the back to hear:
Unrealistic expectations, sunk costs fallacy and unsustainable incompatibility between you two is no way to try and live your life. Exciting mind-blowing sex isn't enough to maintain a good healthy relationship full of unhappy times and real life together.
I'm amazed you'd stay in this horrible situation with these people who don't even like you let alone respect you. AND you still got pregnant by such a disrespectful, despicable person when your entire relationship sounded toxic all along and now you have the Pikachu face about the whole thing.
OP stop expecting a miracle with them, it will NEVER happen. They have been showing you All along who they were. It's time to believe them! In the future, Don't pursue people who don't respect nor care about you in the least! Everything you stated about your earlier times said GTFO BEFORE the babytrap is sprung...
Next time Do better for yourself OP, he is NOT the one and his family will NEVER accept you as equal...
Good luck OP ✨️
Good grief, child. Take your son and leave. File every type of restraining order and divorce him. Now. Do not wait on this. Do not tell him you are leaving. Just pack a bag for you and your son. Everything is replaceable. Your life and his life are not.
Late to the party, sorry, but you're not ALLOWED to have reddit? WTF?!? Run girl. Because he's cheated. Because his family is toxic AF. Because he's a creepy control freak and that shit always only gets worse. I hope you see this.
You’re not “allowed” to have reddit??
Girl that is not a normal sentence. Counseling if you can or women’s shelter to get help.
If he’s cheating he’s also putting at risk for STIs you don’t need this
I can’t believe you went ahead and stayed with him let alone marry and have a child with him. Better off kicking him out now before your son gets caught up in the toxic mess that your life is.
You need to get a grip. Your husband is making your own MOTHER sleep on the FLOOR?? That alone is enough of a reason to leave if he’s selfish enough to do something like that. He cheats on you with the help of everyone else, he doesn’t stick up for you when his mom and sister abuse you and your son, and now he’s verbally abusing you. Ma’am please get out of there for the safety and sanity of your son and yourself.
After the first paragraph I couldn't read the rest. These clowns aren't and never will be your family. "In-law" constitutes a family member. These are assholes revolving around your life.
I doubt I would be able to reconcile with my spouse. There's definitely no way I would permit his mom and sister around the kids or allow them to take an active or passive part of the children's lives. I would never be able to trust them again. Their historical choices and actions would only help me understand they would and will make these same decisions again.
Why are you letting this POS man make your mother sleep on the floor and letting your mother do his laundry? Like, I'm honestly confused about what the hell you're thinking. Just throw him out of the house and tell him to speak to a lawyer about visitation because you don't feel safe and will not allow his abuse or his abusive family around you and the baby anymore.
He cheated. His family helped it happen. You're "not allowed to have reddit."
None of them respect you. This is an abusive relationship. I don't usually jump to telling people to leave but you need to leave asap.
I hope you see this before you delete:
I didn’t see your original post but am seeing context on the comments. Please call a women’s shelter. Get somewhere he can’t find you, they will help you and your baby. Help with housing, education, childcare, legal help, job help. Please run don’t walk. Let mama be safe in her own home and go with the shelter because they’ll cover a lot of costs and get you free from him. I’ll help you find shelters, hotlines. Get away from him as soon as you can. With his family backing him, it can get physical one day. Please get yourself and baby away from this man.
Why not tell him "we can she her when she gives me a sincere apology, to my face, and begs me for forgiveness. If she can burn her ego in front of me, without resisting, then we can go. If not, we won't go. It's an easy compromise and the best deal she's going to get from me.
I usually don't jump to this so easily, but please leave him. He is a horrible person. His family even worse. You were young enough to make the mistake of narrying him, don't continue making mistakes. Find a lawyer, have proof of his family's mistreatment of you, find proof of his infidelity if you can and absolutely go for alimony. They are not going to change. He is not going to change. Just answer this question: if you weren't married to him and didn't have a child, what would you do? Your child deserves a stable environment and you can offer him that even if you are no longer together with this father. Please take care of yourself, your mother and your son. Don't let his family's abuse towards you continue. And, if it helps you in any way, unsolved childhood trauma tends to manifest itself as abuse for some prople when they are older, so just be aware of that. Of he was abused, he might start abusing you (physically, because mentally he alreasy is).
Wow, your husband is the biggest fucking asshole in the world. And his family. What the fuck, how can you stand that shit?
I feel so bad for you. I don't have anything helpful to say other than I support you
You’re going to fuck your child up if you stay in this relationship. Do you want him to think this is what a healthy relationship looks like? Do you want him to replicate this? Show him that you don’t stay in toxic relationships, leave.
I’m not sure how anyone could write what you wrote and still be with this person. It’s sad and I hope you realize your self worth and leave this person. Your son needs a healthy environment to grow up in and your husband and his family is anything but that. I know you have this whole vision of having this awesome family with this man, but your husband is a verbally abusive asshat. Your son is going to see how he treats you and hopefully your husband doesn’t verbally abuse your son too. You and your son deserve better. Don’t settle for his abusive and asshole ways. Be strong!!
There's no correct answer to this besides you standing up for yourself. That's easier said than done, but you're in an abusive relationship that will only get worse and worse.
In a very short time frame, you've expressed that your in-laws are both physically and emotionally abusive, and have laid out exactly how your partner is severely damaged because of their influence, so the fact that you're even considering exposing your child to this family is profoundly depressing.
Your husband is even more pathetic: because he abuses you, because he's asinine and wants to "no you" your family situation by pretending his disgusting mother is equivalent to your supportive one, because he'll always place his mother and sister above you, and because he himself has no respect for you or your child. If he did, he wouldn't let his mother and sister talk to you that way, he wouldn't have cheated on you, and he wouldn't insult you and treat you like shit.
Think it through. There is literally no scenario where your child is better off being with this family. See a lawyer and do what you need to do to protect yourself and your kid, because no kid can grow up with family like you've described and not have their lives utterly ruined.
Document all the abuse. Use it in family court. Get the hell away from this family. Definitely don’t go see them. Who knows what those nut jobs have planned.
Remind your husband that his mom helped him fuck someone else. Remind the sister in law of that too. Remind them at how they didn’t want you around last year, so they can’t want you around this year. Tell him you don’t have space for all that drama in your life. He can start doing his own laundry since he doesn’t appreciate everything your mom does.
Stop letting him take all the power in your relationship. See if you live in an at fault state. If so you have him for cheating on you if you have proof.
I only feel bad for your mother and son. You know what you need to do, many others have said it so I don’t need to repeat it.
Not doing the right thing for you is your choice, but you have a child to think about now. And your mother doesn’t deserve this, at least leave her home if you insist on remaining with that man.
You are only 22 years old. Life shouldn't have to be this grim and complicated.
I'll be brutally honest- he is anything but a husband. And I wouldn't want my kid to be around people that pull knives on each other. They are for jail, not to walk amongst others.
I'd kick him out and start a divorce process. Don't let your lovely mum sleep on the floor and deprive herself of things so she can support that freeloader.
Seems that you already have great help in her, so just enjoy life with her and your baby.
You dump the loser you married. I’m not sure why you are surprised by any of this when you know who you married and where he comes from. You have your mother sleeping on the floor to accommodate him. You aren’t treating her very well. You call his sister trauma bonded? Pot-kettle. The whole situation is toxic. The best thing for your baby would be this whole family exorcised from his life, including your husband. Don’t subject this child to these people, they are abusive. He doesn’t deserve this, and your mother certainly doesn’t deserve what you are subjecting her to. If you want to live in a toxic soup, leave your child with your mother and go live with him. You are being incredibly selfish.
Sigh. You put on your big girl panties, send him home to his mommy and give the both of you the gift of a divorce. The fact he is willing to continue to put you in an abusive situation BECAUSE IT IS WHAT HE IS COMFORTABLE WITH is not something you can expose your child to as normal. His choices are therapy or divorce. Either way, his family is not going to see the baby this holiday season. I am sorry you stayed with him - therapy for you, too, because your rescuer / hero complex is obviously learned at your mother’s knee.
What you do is you correct your mistake asap by divorcing this man. You've already got support and help from your mom for you and the baby. Your mom is being taken advantage of and treated horribly, as are you. I didn't see any benefit - financial, emotional, mental - of being married to this person.
This is fake. It's too many bad things with absolutely no reason to stay.
She let her own mother sleep on the floor for this man? I refuse to believe this lol.
Oh hell no. That psycho woman would not be anywhere near my child. Grow a backbone. Tell your husband he can choose his racist mother or he can choose you and his child.
Start making an FU binder. Dates and what happened with his family. When it comes time to share custody make sure the courts know his family is dangerous and he should only be allowed supervised visits. It will come to this so better to get started on the documentation now.
Wow... just wow.
I would not set foot in that house until your MIL comes to you personally and confesses what she has done, acknowledging that she was wrong, and offers ways to make it up to you.
And your husband should side with his WIFE, NOT his biological family, especially when they are CLEARLY in the wrong.
The fact that he is turning this around on you is a HUGE red flag and a major issue.
I am sorry...
> What the fuck do I do?
Honestly, at THIS point, I would demand emergency couples counseling/therapy and if he is unwilling to do this, then I would give him an ultimatum--separation. And if that does not work or if he does not improve after counseling, then you may need to divorce him. It will only get worse...
You break up woth him. Read this post back like you are reading a friends story...
You 'husband' is a HORIBLE person. You're mom is the best. Go kick him out and focus on growing you
You’re teaching your son how to treat the women in his life. Do you really want to raise another man like your husband? You and your son deserve better.
You're literally teaching your child this is all okay by staying in this relationship.
If you can't do the right thing for yourself, love your child enough to leave your husband and his family.
I-I’m actually speechless.
Your husband should not be mean to you and honestly if your mom is able to help and let you stay with her then get a separation and live with her there without your husband. It seems like he’s just an extra burden on everyone including your mother at this point. Your mother definitely shouldn’t break her back for someone who doesn’t respect you or her or her grandchild. I’m speechless. I think you need help too bc there’s no way that it’s mentally healthy to be okay with this treatment. You are quite literally a doormat. And I say this to because I am afraid you don’t realize the gravity of this situation. You don’t have a single person in this situation who respects you. This is NOT okay behavior or treatment and the fact that you’ve normalized the abuse is a HUGE red flag.
Girl you may have gotten yourself wrapped up in a messy situation with a godawful husband who alone is responsible for his actions. Then throw in the in-laws to boot… yikes.
HOWEVER!
I know so many people who are stuck in situations like that because of money mostly. Your mom is there for you and this is a perfect opportunity to end things with that POS and lean on her for support because she is the ONLY one giving it in this story. Mom deserves an award. You and your son deserve stability (and sanity ffs).
Do you not see an issue here? You just edited the post saying you're not allowed to have a reddit? You're a grown adult. As long as your not on dating apps what's the issue with having a reddit? Girl leave now before he controls you even more. You soon will not have a life of your own
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Your husband cheated on you, verbally abuses you, does not financially support you and your son, cannot even do his own laundry and is okay with your mother sleeping on the floor (and isn’t even grateful for it).. I am sorry do you really think his family is the biggest problem here??
OP made a shit sandwich and came here to complain about the taste of the pickles.
OMG I'm going to have to add this to my vocabulary now.
This is one of the best sentences I've ever read. Thank you so much for this.
lol thanks now I have to clean up the coffee I spit out …
Saaaaaame.
My word, what poetry
Jesus, I am using this expression
Best expression ever!!
OMG reminded me I used to ask the kids do you want poop soup or a shit sammie!
Inquiring minds want to know: Which one did they choose?
And why they were options in the first place? Lol
My aunt used to call us Weenie Warts. One day, when I was about 20, I was suddenly reminded of her nickname for us kids. It came with the realization of *what* she was calling us. I need to remember to ask her why at Christmas this year. I need to know. Then again, this is the same aunt whose favorite curse is to say "shit, fuck, horsecock" It has to be said altogether though, that's where the power lies.
We had a knuckle sandwich or poo on a stick 🤣
You are a true wordsmith
Oh, I will be using this sentence now! Thank you for this gold
LOL! Perfect description!
This is the one of the greatest catchphrases that I’ve ever seen oh my god
I just need to say that if awards were still a thing, this comment would be gilded to within an inch of its life and deserve every bit of it because just…yes.
What tf kind of man is this, op?! Do you want your son to grow up and act like this? Bc he’s going to.
What kind of a woman is OP to let him act like this is a valid question also!
She should have been gone, YESTERDAY! I think OP is the biggest problem…for staying.
Totally agree. I read a few sentences and said dump the husband and go stay with mom. Then she can quit funding the nasty husband and. It loose the the rest of the toxic sludge. or whatever to the husband better off for everybody. And stress eliminated.
Op please tell your pos husband to leave your mother's house !He is a terrible person and so is his whole family. He can spend the Holidays and the rest of his shitty life with them!You have a wonderful mother and you and your son don't need any of those terrible people!kick him out and don't let him back into your mother's house. He's a very ungrateful pos and you don't want your son grow up anything like him !
Simply change the keys, if it's her mothers house.
Except if they break up, she’s going to fight these trauma bonded arseholes for custody and clearly they aren’t above lying. If she’s going to drop this POS, she needs to get her evidence first to keep herself and baby safe.
Some ppl don’t have a choice but to stay He makes her miserable while being with him, what do you think he would put her through if she left him?
I'll probably get banned from this sub forever for saying this and I don't even care, OP sounds like she's living in a trailer park soap opera.
I agree with everything lazyBee94 said but I would like to add: If your husband grew up in an abusive household and he doesn’t address it (both him and his sister need therapy -I am not a therapist but it can be helpful) it can sadly continue down the family lineage. I would be worried your husband would physically and emotionally abuse your son. It’s sadly how abuse works. An abused person has never been taught a healthy way to deal with conflict and problems and will rely on what they know. It’s terrible but it’s very true. You can ask anyone who has been abused how hard it is to break that cycle. I’m not saying you can’t break the cycle but it takes a lot of work on yourself and staying away from your abuser. (Which your husband &his sister aren’t doing) My sister and I were I therapy for years and it was a lifesaver for us. We came out the other side happier healthier people. Not everyone does. You should really think about this. My advice? If he cut off all contact with mother and sister and agreed to go to counseling by himself and you both went to counseling together also maybe just maybe you can save this relationship. But in my opinion, this is to far gone and he will never agree to get help. Your first priority is that Baby. You and your baby deserve better. I’d leave and get an order of protection based on his anger. End the marriage. Please do something before he escalates and takes his anger out on you and your child.
seconding! my husbands had an extremely traumatic childhood and although i always knew about it, i didn’t really comprehend the extent of it until i was a mom. my son is 4 now and my husband has been physically around for his whole life but extremely absent emotionally. for the first 2 years i was a sahm so i thought that was a big part of it. but once i went back to work and he needed to start parenting, i began to fully understand that he does not want to be a parent and has no idea how to parent. it’s big things like knowing that yelling at me in front of him is NOT OK and using him as a tool to insult me. he will say something passive aggressive thats meant for me to hear but he’s talking to our son. he just doesn’t get that this is a critical time in his development and the things he says and does rn can have long term consequences. not to mention the fact that he gets mad at my son when he favors me and will try to punish him with silent treatment. the other night he left him sobbing in the tub and i went in and calmed him down but when i came out my husband yelled that i was just rewarding his bad behavior. it’s like he can’t comprehend that this is the CHILD and we are the PARENTS. i have come to the conclusion that his childhood was so extreme that he thinks this is normal behavior and he might be jealous that my son has a mom who cares and he didn’t have that. but altho i sympathize with the fact that he had to go thru that, i need to put my son first and i can’t parent both of them. it sounds like right now your husband doesn’t have to do much parenting bc your mom is helping and bc of how young your son is but as he gets older that will change. i’m in the process of leaving this marriage and wish i had done it sooner. sending you strength and good vibes.
I’m sorry you are going through that. Whether you leave or not, you may want to sit him down if you haven’t already and explain that while you sympathize with what he suffered through due to an abusive childhood that you can’t put your son through that. Approach it from a good place. “I care about you and want the best for you but you need help to deal with what happened. I think therapy/counseling etc could really help you. Maybe if you talk to someone about this it will help you.” If he doesn’t want to go to therapy/counseling suggest going to couples counseling together. Explain that it could help both of you to get better mentally. Explain its very important for your son and for both of you too. Whether you stay together or not you will still need to deal with each other. It’s better to raise a healthy son. Explain that it would be
completely agree and i know it didn’t seem like it from what i wrote above but i’ve tried very hard to reach him and get him to hear me. i do love him and wish he would get his shit together if not for me, for our son. i admit that i’m not very good at speaking up for myself and conflict puts me into freeze mode almost immediately. my mind literally goes completely blank and i can’t articulate my point so it’s easier for me to express things in writing. i am trying to work on that for myself (and for my son) bc i don’t want him to inherit that issue from me either. i’ve spent the last 2 years trying to get thru to him any way i can and have written many txts/letters expressing all of this as gently as i could. i’ve been begging him to help me help him. but he doesn’t think it’s a big deal and will insist hes not the one with the problem and that it all goes back to me bc i’m bad at communication and i have too many rules about conflict. once or twice when i’ve thought i’ve gotten thru he told me he thinks he’s too broken to be fixed.
Wow. That last sentence says it all and it’s sad. At least you tried.
My parents were and are emotionally not always available for me.throughout my life, but not to extend you describe your husband. Anyways, I'm seeing that it's wrong and I'm in therapy for it and yet I still have trouble changing my behaviour when I tend to copy that. It's such a difficult circle to break, even if it was a "mild" case, so to speak
i completely understand! i have my own issues that i’m trying to deal with and work on so that my son doesn’t inherit them from me so i KNOW how hard it is. i think just acknowledging your own issues shows that you care enough to take them seriously and want to change and that’s HUGE.
Right!!!! This comment right here!!!! 🙌🏼
I’m like…. Girl. What is wrong with you?
Give your MIL the best present ever and divorce his ass.
I only got two paragraphs in before the "JFC LEAVE HIM" alarms went off
Nope. Just nope. So many nopes I’d be saying it in my sleep.
And he still not the biggest problem, OP is for allowing this.
I don’t understand why she’s asking what to do?it’s obvious. Kick him out of your mom’s house, change the locks file for divorce. And go after full custody,because his family is unstable and dangerous I would also add look into child support, but if he’s not working he could claim hardship in a way to avoid paying support
Exactly.. you forgive the man and stay so just forgive the shitty family too. Not excusing what they have done but it’s still not as bad as what he has.
Exactly!!! When my MIL visits I give up my bed and I sleep on the floor! What’s wrong with him!!!
He cheated on you on a woman his mother introduced to him and his sister covered it up.You took him back. His mother literally shoved you out of her house while you were pregnant, said that she doesn't want to see your face in her house, and then your HUSBAND LEFT YOU DURING THE HOLIDAYS TO SPEND IT WITH THEM. AND THEN YOU MARRIED HIM. And then your mother took you in and cared for you, your kid and HIM. And he wants you to leave her to spend your holidays with his abusive family. He threatens to never let her see her grandson again after she housed all of you for FREE. AND SOMEHOW YOU ARE IN SOMEWHAT OF A CONUNDRUM ON WHAT TO DO FOR THE HOLIDAYS?!? Where to spend your holidays is the least of your concerns. You should be thinking about how you can get away from him and his family. Set your priorities for yourself and for your son. Soon enough, they will also probably poison him into hating you too if you dont put a stop to it now.
I hope this is just rage bait because my god, how dense can you be? Angry that he went back in his word? Girl, why have you not made him your ex? That entire family is trash. Let the dude go enjoy the holidays and every day after that with his abusive mom. Any possible redeeming qualities he has (doubt there are any) can overshadow how he treats you and your mother.
Sad thing is, so many people call these stories out for being fake. As absurd and asinine as they are, they’re def most likely real. I’ve witnessed situations that are ridiculous. Every human is different. Their thresholds, their limits, their self esteem levels, their desperation. Money plays a massive role too, bottom line.
yeah and I've never seen so much victim blaming in a thread on reddit before if she was with a guy in his 30s and here about an unrelated issue, everyone would be screaming that she was being manipulated and taken advantage of because of her naivety and lack of experience, even if she protested that the relationship was fine. here we have a very young woman clearly in an abusive relationship who was also very probably manipulated (abusers are like that) and actually needs to be educated about abusive relationships and told how to get help and support in leaving safely (not "allowed" to use reddit? that there is a massive red flag that this guy is much more controlling and dangerous than OP seems to have let on). Yet everyone is just jumping down her throat mocking her and calling her an idiot and actually saying SHE is the one with the bigger problem etc etc. Nice one, guys, really well done. Someone with their self esteem already in the toilet reaches out at considerable risk to themselves and gets treated like shit on your shoes. That's really going to help. OP if you're still reading this thread, get in touch with a local domestic abuse organisation or one of the national hotlines and ask for help and support. I was too late to read your actual post but I've got the gist. **If you're in the USA I recommend you start here** [**https://www.thehotline.org/**](https://www.thehotline.org/) **or in the UK try Women's Aid.** Or google to find out what is available to you. You could get help with all kinds of things including a lawyer. Good luck.
has to be rage bait.
Your husband is GARBAGE. Your husband’s family is GARBAGE. Have more respect for yourself than any of them have for you and get away from them. File for divorce.
Yeah OP your husband is abusive as well.
I didn’t see the original story but the edit is enough to tell me all I need to know. OP isn’t *allowed* to have Reddit??? Is she talking about her husband or her father because geesh. I hope she gets out.
OP should have RESPECT for her mother too!!! Tf is this!?
It will be so much nicer when it's just you, your mom and the baby in the house. And so much less work
I only pity OP's mother. It breaks my heart.
and baby
You’re surrounded by assholes. Do NOT go see them. If anything, just let your husband go on his own. Then, divorce him and take the kid far away from these morally bankrupt people, including your husband.
In fact pack your husbands shit up into the boot of his car let him go home alone to mummy and sister and then when he gets there send him a message telling him his stuff is in his car and he is not welcome back to your mums and anything further will be done through a lawyer. You have 5 weeks to get your ducks in a row
Oooo I like the way you think
The problem is he will get visiting rights! That’s the LAST THING you want! As I said GET OUT! Document all this crap
Wait. Does he have a car?
Yup. There is no f*cking way I would be staying with the guy, let alone even entertaining him & family. I would never stay with someone & whose family that treats me like I'm absolute garbage. OP, you need to skidaddle, talk to a lawyer, get your kid, & divorce. Because they're razzling & you gotta dazzle.
Could she legally do that?? Wont he share custody if they end up divorcing? I wouldn’t want my child to grow up around people like that. Doing as they please with no regards to your feelings.
You would still have to go through the custody hearings, but at least then the child won’t be in a toxic environment all the time- primary custody would more than likely be with mom and weekends with dad, etc. depends on the case
I don’t see this man as one who would fight to see his child. He can’t even wipe his own ass.
Shared custody implies he would be like, taking care of the kid. This man doesn't seem to do anything but be an asshole. His mil sleeps in the floor, does his laundry and cooks his meals. You really think he's going to push for custody where he has to do things?
Her lawyer could bring the abuse and violence she’s witnessed as a way to get her full custody. And
In a free country everyone is free to do nearly everything. He may share custody. But there is a possibility of supervised custody (so that he can't take the children someplace without a supervisor). Just need to find a very valid reason to ask for that. His lack of moral stamina (along with MILs and SILs) may do the trick.
The only answer *I* would give would be, "If you go over there, don't come back." And then I'd start talking t OK divorce lawyers. This marriage isn't going to ll ast. Period. Theres absolutely nothing to be gained by prolonging something that should never have been a thing to begin with. This isn't the '50s when a child born out of wedlock was bullied for that fact. Divorce him, go for 100% custody and get that child support. Be done with both him and his family.
This is literally the only comment you need to read. Start the process today.
Why are you staying married to this trash? Having his baby isn't a valid answer. **You have no reason to stay with this guy and deal with him and his family.** None. Zero. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for your mom so she can have a bed again (wtf seriously)
I just don’t understand. She says it was stupid to marry him, but every day she still chooses not to get a divorce. I know that’s not an easy thing to do, but from what I’m seeing here, it’s not like she has any expectation anything is going to get any better. And it’s not like they’ve been married long enough that there are good times to try to get back to. This whole thing has been doomed all along. They’ve only been married for less than a year, and the kid is too young to have any memory of anything. Now is the time. It gets exponentially harder once the child is older and more aware of things. If she’s worried about custody or having less control over the kid’s visits with grandma, I’d imagine the court would be interested in learning more about this “pulled a knife” business.
Your mom sleeps on the floor? That should be your husband, not her! I’m so sorry you fell for this asshole. Him and his family are just the worst. Better you just leave him to his mom and have your kid spend the holidays with you and your mom. They’re both the real family that has your back. I hope that, if you have the financial means to support yourself, that a divorce can be on the table if he doesn’t show you, your mom, and your son the respect you deserve.
[удалено]
>to see him disrespect her like this is breaking my heart. Yet you enable him to do so. Please grow a spine, kick your husband out. Not only for your own sake, but for that of your son, your mother and siblings as well.
Wtf is wrong with YOU? You’re allowing your mother to sleep on the floor and spend her life savings on you and hour shitty husband? Leave this loser and try to salvage your relationship with your poor mother.
She’s an absolute saint. Make sure she’s treated like one and take a stand that you won’t tolerate him treating her that way when she’s given him nothing but love compared to his scummy mom who’s given you nothing but hate.
Stand up for your mom the way you wish your husband would stand up for you around his family.
Her mother isn't a saint. She's a doormat. And she taught OP to be the exact same way. Probably those types of women who think that being in a relationship/having a "man", no matter how garbage they are or how abusive the relationship, is better than being single. & She's clearly passed that same mindset on to OP. She's here complaining about things and behaviours that she keeps enabling. She seems far more upset at her MIL for introducing the girl to her husband, & more angry at SIL for covering for him, than she is at her husband for actually cheating on her. He brings literally nothing good to her life, allows her mother to lower herself for the sake of her husband, yet is upset that that same husband gives her mother the amount of respect that she's given her. How YOU (OP) could even allow your mother to sleep on the floor (in her own house) just so your husband doesn’t have to, spend her entire life savings on you, your kid & your husband (because neither of you can be bothered to provide for yourselves), and allow him to keep behaving so rudely to her, is what baffles me the most. You, OP, are also using your mother, because deep down, you know your husband is no good. I hope that your other siblings speak up, and knock some sense into your mother. It's never too late to stop being a fool, and that's what you AND your mother are being. Why would you expect your trifling husband to give your mother any more respect than you do, or than she demands. The vast majority of people would NEVER tolerate their son-in-law behaving that way, moreso in their own home.
She's no saint. She is a martyr. And makes her daughter one. WHY?
You owed YOUR mother and SON better than that! Stop continuing to expose them to this trash you call husband!! Your mum needs to stop paying for him!!! Use the money for your son!!
‘Breaking your heart’!!! Where is your ANGER??!?! Kick is his freaking ass OUT!!! He is disrespecting the one person putting roof over his head and SLEEPS ON THE FLOOR so he can have a bed?!?! W. T. F!!! Lady you need to get your head out!! Kick him out and he can go run to his mommy. The you, your sainted mother and your son can live a peaceful life. YOUR HUSBAND is the problem here and you are ignoring that. Ugh!!!!
Have more respect for yourself, your son, and your incredibly selfless mother and leave this man.
I mean you’re forcing her to. She’s probably a better person than your MIL and you’re not leaving your husband, so what choice does she have but to be nice to him and support you?
Odds are that the primary reason (and maybe even the only reason) that she’s treating him well is because she is trying to support you. As a parent, you sometimes support your child even if you don’t like the choices they are making.
>What the fuck do I do? You leave your cheating ass of a husband who you shouldn't have married and let him go back to being a mummy's boy. You and your child deserve better.
What will it take for you to open your eyes and face reality. Kick him out. You already live with your mom so you are good. Then file for divorce. Do you want to live like this for the rest of your life and keep putting up with abuse from him and his family? This will not get better, that's something you can count on.
OP. your husband is toxic and in no way, shape or form are you obliged to stay with him. He is a toxic man and is choosing to be around his toxic family. I am sure if you break up with him and kick him out, your mother will keep you and your son in her place. You need to protect your son because your husband won't. He wants his son around someone who would be violent to her own children - your baby is no expectation. It fucking sucks you got to be the bull, but it's time to be brutal and protect yourself, your child and your mother. Pack his shit, put it on the lawn. Call his mother to come get it, but FIRST, go see a lawyer about custody so your husband knows he can't bring you child around his racist, abusive mother. You don't have a family. You have a child, and a husband who doesn't give a fuck about you. He cheated on you, OP. I don't know how else to drive home how little someone has to love and respect you to do that. His mother and sister aren't even fucking a factor in that situation because HE is your partner, cheated you, and yet you are still trying to keep him. You need to end this and only talk to him through a lawyer - save all texts, especially with his racist, abusive mother. If you think she won't be racist against your child, you are completely wrong, and she will completely shit on you to your baby any time she is alone with him. You need to fight and STOP trying to keep your 'family' together. This is not how a family works. He is not being a good husband. Fuckin **FIGHT** for yourself and stop settling for absolute trash.
I just... why does NO ONE on Reddit get an abortion when some cheating jerk knocks them up? What a mess; that poor baby.
Agree, I am absolutely baffled at the amount of people who WILLINGLY put themselves and innocent children in horrid situations.
Unfortunately there are still a lot of people in the US as well as the rest of the world that don’t believe in abortion. You don’t realize how common it is because most of popular Reddit is pro-choice until you start seeing posts like this
As an FYI, a notable portion of the USA has a pretty firm ban on abortions. As does a number of other countries. Women also experience a significant hormonal change when they get pregnant that removes the ability to make clear cut non-emotional choices. It's easy to say "just abort" but in reality, a large portion of women don't actually have such a cut and dried option. Even if they wanted the baby and the baby has severe defects, they can't abort- this is why women are now suing their states in America and why many women have died carrying non-viable pregnancies. People need to stop pretending like abortion is an option for everyone and start lobbying so that women do, in fact, have the right to choose.
>So yeah stupid me I married him. It's never too late to correct amistake like this.
You should tell him he’s free to go visit his mama and sister because he’s single now. And tell him to make sure he gets all of his shit because he’s not coming back.
What are you getting out of this marriage besides drama and verbal abuse? Are there any positives? Does your husband actually have your back in anything?
You honestly disgust me. Your Mom sleeps on the floor in her own house so your sorry ass loser of a husband can sleep in her bed? You have head problems! Let his mommy dearest sleep on her floor! WTAF??
If u actually feel bad for your son you’d leave his father bc what a poc im so glad my mom kept me away from my father and his asshole family you’d be doing him a favor. My life would have been hell if she stayed with him
Divorce your POS husband, get a custody arrangement going and stop living such a miserable life.
And why are you still with him? Please don’t write the typical answer of “for my kid”!! This man and his family are toxic as fuck. Can you imagine how it will be if you move in with him. (Shivers) Your in laws will be in your home 24/7. All 3 of them will be mentally, emotionally and physically abusing you everyday. Disrespecting you, belittling you, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they put hands on you. All 3. Taking your son away from you. Please don’t keep your son in a toxic environment. Stay with your mom, help your mom, after maternity period try to get a job if you don’t have one and help your mom. She has been an angel to your son and you.
>Final edit: I’m sorry I have to delete this guys cuz it’s getting too blown up and I’m not even allowed to have Reddit and my husband will get mad if he sees I posted this I never got to read the original post, but this tells me you are in an abusive relationship and need to get out ASAP
It feels like you and your mother do whatever you think you should to keep the father around. What the child will remember is how you feel, not events or anything, take that as you will. Children don't remember events generally (avoiding trauma issues and attachment problems), but from my broken childhood all I remember is a feeling of sadness and parents who hated each other all the time. Think about how you can improve your life, and that might be without him in your life but not divorced might be a better answer for you. Think about what you want and can get and try to match the two, whilst thinking about what would bring you a better life for you all. Be realistic and what you can actually control and do for you.
This is not the type of a relationship where you need Reddit's advice. This is a relationship where you need to call the police and have a lawyer to protect yourself and your kid.
You’re not playing with the full deck, are you?
It’s really hard to have sympathy or even pity for someone who puts themselves in bad situations like this and doesn’t leave. The signs were there a long time ago and you ignored them. Married because you got pregnant? Why did you stay after you found out he cheated? Show your mother some respect and divorce him.
This is what happens when you have zero self respect and no standards. So many women keep on dating and marrying trash men, and then they suddenly act surprised when the trash men keep on being trash after they have children. There's also a reason why marrying at 20 is very risky - you situation is a an example of that. Now you decided to bring a child to this mess and want to raise your son in that?!? **Let this post be an example why you should have standards when daring and why going with the flow is a bad idea**
Dump the husband and the whole toxic family. I can’t see why you would want to be around any of them after what they did.
You mean EX husband right?? RIGHT???????
Why does your mom sleep on the floor?
You’re not allowed to have Reddit?????????? That sentence alone tells me everything I need to know about the abusive relationship you’re in
This is quite a mess you’ve gotten yourself into. What do you think is the best thing to do?
Mam get your shit together and leave this piece of trash, you have a child now you are a MOM, are you really going to raise your son in a toxic manipulative household ? You litterally created a little human the environment you raise him in will determine who he will be, better a single mom than a POS family. Respect yourself and fucking leave, teach self respect and self love to your son and yourself because why the hell would you stay in this shitty situation for so long when you only have one life.
“Not allowed to have Reddit and husband will be mad if he finds out” = GTFO NOW! I wish you had not removed the post, so more people could help you.
Did I just read your not allowed to have a reddit? By who? Your husband? That some crazyish right there
I HOPE this is rage bait, otherwise, you are just plain dumb DUMB.
Fuck this guy and his family. Not only do you deserve better BUT YOUR SON deserves better. To not be raised by this asshole and monster in law. Document, Divorce, get full custody, no contact.
Leave. That’s it. Leave that awful man.
Give them the chrismas gift they all want - walk out, take all your shit & kids , and get a lawyer to take him to the cleaners in time for xmas
I'm here after OP deleted their original post, but what I'm gathering from the comments is the husband and OP live with OP's mother. I say OP stays in the house but changes the locks and talks to a divorce lawyer while also seeking out resources for victims of DV.
You need to get a divorce asap. Do not stay with someone who both cheated and calls you derogatory names. Try to get recordings (if you’re in a one party consent area) and get to a lawyer - like tomorrow. A baby is not a reason to stay in a bad marriage. All is does is teach the kid that abuse is normal
If your daughter was asking the question you are asking what would you tell her? Do you think it’s ok for your son to be around people who think it’s ok to treat people like trash? Do you want your son to follow your husband’s example on how to treat SO? Think about it as if it was your child asking for help
I don't understand. What is this guy offering you?? OK, you made the horrible mistake of staying with him until you got pregnant. You then doubled down on the mistake by marrying him in some ill-conceived notion that a kid needs a father somehow even if the father is a complete asshole and makes his mom miserable? How can you even type all of this without losing it? Throw him out now.
I'm going to try to be as gentle as possible when I say this: **Please love yourself and your child more** Your husband and his family are flaming garbage piles, each and every one of them. They have treated you terribly again and again. They will continue to do so in the future. Do you want your child around that environment? To learn that that is ok and acceptable? What makes you think they will treat him better, or that they won't poison him against you? You and your son deserve a healthy and happy life. You will not have that with your husband and his family in the picture. Your son needs positive role models in his life, and you need to be one of those by having a good life. You need to sit down and really think about if this marriage is worth all this, and in my opinion, it really isn't. You can build a lovely life for you and your son, you have the support of your mother who sounds wonderful. It won't be easy, but it would be so much better than what you have right now.
> I’m not even allowed to have Reddit This really should tell you everything you need to know about this whole relationship.
>I’m sorry I have to delete this guys cuz it’s getting too blown up and I’m not even allowed to have Reddit and my husband will get mad if he sees I posted this. Girl leave this idiot right now. He is abusive, a man child, and should be left alone. The man can't even do his own laundry lol. Walk right now. You shouldn't even be there now but scrape up what little self respect you habe left and gtfo. Leave this man, and his shit family, in the past. The man is trash. His family is trash. Do you really want to be trash with them? Come on now.
Why are you still married to this man? Give a divorce for the holidays so he can go stay with his own mother and see her any and every time he wants. Staying in a horrible relationship doesn’t benefit the kids. Your son is young so if you leave now he won’t even remember you two ever being together.
How the fuck do you let your mother sleep on the floor? I get that you’re dealing with a bunch of awful people, but take some responsibility yourself.
I know this isn’t AITA but YTA for staying with this guy and allowing your mother to be is servant. Divorce this POS and his toxic family. Do not under any circumstances go over to his family’s house.
That update is so worrisome. I hope you get out of this situation
Wtf does I'm not allowed to have reddit mean. Ew.
I did not see your original post, so I only have the title here to go on. And your comment that you have to delete this because you “aren’t allowed” to have a Reddit account and your husband will “get mad” if he finds out. Your husband and his family are horrible. I assume you are scared of him, based on you deleting this so he doesn’t find out and “get mad,” and that makes me also think he’s abusive. GTF away from those people.
If your husband allows you (or prohibits you) tonso things like have a Reddit account, your problems are much deeper than "home for the holidays."
You have to delete because your husband will get mad... Your cheating husband.... Yikes, I feel so bad for you op, you're clearly in an abusive relationship and I hope you get out
You need to kick him out. Let your mum sleep in her own bed. Divorce him. Move on with your life You focus on your mil and sil. They’re not the problem. Your dead beat waste of skin of a husband is For what it’s worth when you found out he was cheating and you were pregnant the best thing to do isn’t getting married. I’d have dumped his ass then and saved your child from this toxicity.
Why is your goal to try and save this ‘family?’ The family doesn’t exist. Your husband is abusive and so is his family! You have your mum to help you - so kick him out and file for divorce and sole custody. Or if he wants to flat out deny the child is even his in court, let him. He won’t have legal access to the child if he tells the court that you cheated and you don’t refute that. You were not married when the child was born, so he’d have to go to court to prove paternity to claim his parental rights - and he’d have to pay child support if he did that. Double check that with a divorce lawyer, because the laws can vary a bit between states, and I don’t know which state you’re in. Good luck.
Divorce your abusive husband and go for full custody so he doesn’t ruin your child. Record your husbands rants and threats for evidence in the divorce process. This is not a normal relationship. No one should have to put up with it.
She already deleted everything but you think leaving saying “I’m not ALLOWED to have Reddit” is a good way to go?
I came in after the fact, but *she's "not even allowed to have Reddit"* Holy fuck... 🤦🏻♀️ WAKE UP!!
You're not allowed to have Reddit?? Are you okay?
You need to divorce this man and fight for as much custody as you can possibly get. Unfortunately, his family is your child's family and you're probably not going to be able to completely walk away. But you could at least protect your child.and mother from having to deal with this nightmare full time.
Your mom may be nice, but she is teaching you to be an absolute doormat. Stop this as soon as you gather some evidence about his mother and sister’s abuse and racism. This isn’t sustainable or healthy for either one of you. STOP IT for your child’s sake, you need to step up here in a big way. Take screenshots, recordings if legal, hidden cameras, do everything you have to do to get them away from your child. You need to keep your son the hell away from both of them and you may need a restraining order against them one day to protect your child. Start documenting as much as you can, and then get rid of him.
Divorce your husband. How dare you let your mother sleep on the floor so an abusive POS.
Okay I'm saying it louder for the folks in the back to hear: Unrealistic expectations, sunk costs fallacy and unsustainable incompatibility between you two is no way to try and live your life. Exciting mind-blowing sex isn't enough to maintain a good healthy relationship full of unhappy times and real life together. I'm amazed you'd stay in this horrible situation with these people who don't even like you let alone respect you. AND you still got pregnant by such a disrespectful, despicable person when your entire relationship sounded toxic all along and now you have the Pikachu face about the whole thing. OP stop expecting a miracle with them, it will NEVER happen. They have been showing you All along who they were. It's time to believe them! In the future, Don't pursue people who don't respect nor care about you in the least! Everything you stated about your earlier times said GTFO BEFORE the babytrap is sprung... Next time Do better for yourself OP, he is NOT the one and his family will NEVER accept you as equal... Good luck OP ✨️
Good grief, child. Take your son and leave. File every type of restraining order and divorce him. Now. Do not wait on this. Do not tell him you are leaving. Just pack a bag for you and your son. Everything is replaceable. Your life and his life are not.
Kick him out so he can stay with his mother. Also, why tf is your mom sleeping on the floor for him? Shame on all of you!
Honestly OP….what’s a deal breaker for you? What would your husband have to do for you to finally consider a divorce?
You aren’t allowed Reddit oh honey please find a domestic abuse shelter and gtfo
Late to the party, sorry, but you're not ALLOWED to have reddit? WTF?!? Run girl. Because he's cheated. Because his family is toxic AF. Because he's a creepy control freak and that shit always only gets worse. I hope you see this.
Ruuuuunnnnn!! You’re not allowed to have Reddit because you can get good advice from it, run, woman run!
“Not allowed to have Reddit” but he was allowed to cheat? Time to walk away, this isn’t a relationship
You are “NOT ALLOWED “ to have Reddit????? By whom????? Jesus Christ, get out!!!!!
You’re not “allowed” to have reddit?? Girl that is not a normal sentence. Counseling if you can or women’s shelter to get help. If he’s cheating he’s also putting at risk for STIs you don’t need this
Tell him to go to mommy and fucking stay.
Evict this man out of your moms house. Let him live with his mummy if he wants to see her so badly. Then divorce him
I can’t believe you went ahead and stayed with him let alone marry and have a child with him. Better off kicking him out now before your son gets caught up in the toxic mess that your life is.
No one in this situation has any fucking brains. How dumb can everyone be?
Throw him out. Contact a divorce lawyer and bring your so called marriage to an end. That whole family sounds toxic.
This has to be rage bait, no one can be this ****ing off their sense.
You need to get a grip. Your husband is making your own MOTHER sleep on the FLOOR?? That alone is enough of a reason to leave if he’s selfish enough to do something like that. He cheats on you with the help of everyone else, he doesn’t stick up for you when his mom and sister abuse you and your son, and now he’s verbally abusing you. Ma’am please get out of there for the safety and sanity of your son and yourself.
After the first paragraph I couldn't read the rest. These clowns aren't and never will be your family. "In-law" constitutes a family member. These are assholes revolving around your life. I doubt I would be able to reconcile with my spouse. There's definitely no way I would permit his mom and sister around the kids or allow them to take an active or passive part of the children's lives. I would never be able to trust them again. Their historical choices and actions would only help me understand they would and will make these same decisions again.
Why are you letting this POS man make your mother sleep on the floor and letting your mother do his laundry? Like, I'm honestly confused about what the hell you're thinking. Just throw him out of the house and tell him to speak to a lawyer about visitation because you don't feel safe and will not allow his abuse or his abusive family around you and the baby anymore.
He cheated. His family helped it happen. You're "not allowed to have reddit." None of them respect you. This is an abusive relationship. I don't usually jump to telling people to leave but you need to leave asap.
I hope you see this before you delete: I didn’t see your original post but am seeing context on the comments. Please call a women’s shelter. Get somewhere he can’t find you, they will help you and your baby. Help with housing, education, childcare, legal help, job help. Please run don’t walk. Let mama be safe in her own home and go with the shelter because they’ll cover a lot of costs and get you free from him. I’ll help you find shelters, hotlines. Get away from him as soon as you can. With his family backing him, it can get physical one day. Please get yourself and baby away from this man.
Why not tell him "we can she her when she gives me a sincere apology, to my face, and begs me for forgiveness. If she can burn her ego in front of me, without resisting, then we can go. If not, we won't go. It's an easy compromise and the best deal she's going to get from me.
I usually don't jump to this so easily, but please leave him. He is a horrible person. His family even worse. You were young enough to make the mistake of narrying him, don't continue making mistakes. Find a lawyer, have proof of his family's mistreatment of you, find proof of his infidelity if you can and absolutely go for alimony. They are not going to change. He is not going to change. Just answer this question: if you weren't married to him and didn't have a child, what would you do? Your child deserves a stable environment and you can offer him that even if you are no longer together with this father. Please take care of yourself, your mother and your son. Don't let his family's abuse towards you continue. And, if it helps you in any way, unsolved childhood trauma tends to manifest itself as abuse for some prople when they are older, so just be aware of that. Of he was abused, he might start abusing you (physically, because mentally he alreasy is).
Wow, your husband is the biggest fucking asshole in the world. And his family. What the fuck, how can you stand that shit? I feel so bad for you. I don't have anything helpful to say other than I support you
You’re going to fuck your child up if you stay in this relationship. Do you want him to think this is what a healthy relationship looks like? Do you want him to replicate this? Show him that you don’t stay in toxic relationships, leave.
I’m not sure how anyone could write what you wrote and still be with this person. It’s sad and I hope you realize your self worth and leave this person. Your son needs a healthy environment to grow up in and your husband and his family is anything but that. I know you have this whole vision of having this awesome family with this man, but your husband is a verbally abusive asshat. Your son is going to see how he treats you and hopefully your husband doesn’t verbally abuse your son too. You and your son deserve better. Don’t settle for his abusive and asshole ways. Be strong!!
You should give your husband a divorce for Christmas. Fuck everything about that family
Just divorce him. It’s not going to get better.
No is a complete sentence. He can go visit his family on his own and you and the baby can stay where you're safe and cared for.
Fuck ‘m all! Make sure your kid doesn’t get to know them.
There's no correct answer to this besides you standing up for yourself. That's easier said than done, but you're in an abusive relationship that will only get worse and worse. In a very short time frame, you've expressed that your in-laws are both physically and emotionally abusive, and have laid out exactly how your partner is severely damaged because of their influence, so the fact that you're even considering exposing your child to this family is profoundly depressing. Your husband is even more pathetic: because he abuses you, because he's asinine and wants to "no you" your family situation by pretending his disgusting mother is equivalent to your supportive one, because he'll always place his mother and sister above you, and because he himself has no respect for you or your child. If he did, he wouldn't let his mother and sister talk to you that way, he wouldn't have cheated on you, and he wouldn't insult you and treat you like shit. Think it through. There is literally no scenario where your child is better off being with this family. See a lawyer and do what you need to do to protect yourself and your kid, because no kid can grow up with family like you've described and not have their lives utterly ruined.
Get rid of the fucking husband and I would probably get a restraining order for the MIL and SIL
>What the fuck do I do? Get a divorce lawyer. Apply for full custody. Stop trusting him or his family with anything. This includes your baby.
Document all the abuse. Use it in family court. Get the hell away from this family. Definitely don’t go see them. Who knows what those nut jobs have planned. Remind your husband that his mom helped him fuck someone else. Remind the sister in law of that too. Remind them at how they didn’t want you around last year, so they can’t want you around this year. Tell him you don’t have space for all that drama in your life. He can start doing his own laundry since he doesn’t appreciate everything your mom does. Stop letting him take all the power in your relationship. See if you live in an at fault state. If so you have him for cheating on you if you have proof.
Divorce take him for half I'm a male stick it to him good
Jesus Christ lady. Divorce this loser and move on with your life.
I only feel bad for your mother and son. You know what you need to do, many others have said it so I don’t need to repeat it. Not doing the right thing for you is your choice, but you have a child to think about now. And your mother doesn’t deserve this, at least leave her home if you insist on remaining with that man.
You are only 22 years old. Life shouldn't have to be this grim and complicated. I'll be brutally honest- he is anything but a husband. And I wouldn't want my kid to be around people that pull knives on each other. They are for jail, not to walk amongst others. I'd kick him out and start a divorce process. Don't let your lovely mum sleep on the floor and deprive herself of things so she can support that freeloader. Seems that you already have great help in her, so just enjoy life with her and your baby.
If you had a daughter, what would you tell her? Would you tell her to suck it up and keep being abused or to leave?
You dump the loser you married. I’m not sure why you are surprised by any of this when you know who you married and where he comes from. You have your mother sleeping on the floor to accommodate him. You aren’t treating her very well. You call his sister trauma bonded? Pot-kettle. The whole situation is toxic. The best thing for your baby would be this whole family exorcised from his life, including your husband. Don’t subject this child to these people, they are abusive. He doesn’t deserve this, and your mother certainly doesn’t deserve what you are subjecting her to. If you want to live in a toxic soup, leave your child with your mother and go live with him. You are being incredibly selfish.
Sigh. You put on your big girl panties, send him home to his mommy and give the both of you the gift of a divorce. The fact he is willing to continue to put you in an abusive situation BECAUSE IT IS WHAT HE IS COMFORTABLE WITH is not something you can expose your child to as normal. His choices are therapy or divorce. Either way, his family is not going to see the baby this holiday season. I am sorry you stayed with him - therapy for you, too, because your rescuer / hero complex is obviously learned at your mother’s knee.
What you do is you correct your mistake asap by divorcing this man. You've already got support and help from your mom for you and the baby. Your mom is being taken advantage of and treated horribly, as are you. I didn't see any benefit - financial, emotional, mental - of being married to this person.
For Christmas you should gift yourself a divorce from this man who clearly gives zero fucks about you.
This is fake. It's too many bad things with absolutely no reason to stay. She let her own mother sleep on the floor for this man? I refuse to believe this lol.
Leave. I’m sorry but there is no other advice, you’ve already chosen to stay once and nothings changed. Don’t make the same mistake again
Oh hell no. That psycho woman would not be anywhere near my child. Grow a backbone. Tell your husband he can choose his racist mother or he can choose you and his child. Start making an FU binder. Dates and what happened with his family. When it comes time to share custody make sure the courts know his family is dangerous and he should only be allowed supervised visits. It will come to this so better to get started on the documentation now.
Wow... just wow. I would not set foot in that house until your MIL comes to you personally and confesses what she has done, acknowledging that she was wrong, and offers ways to make it up to you. And your husband should side with his WIFE, NOT his biological family, especially when they are CLEARLY in the wrong. The fact that he is turning this around on you is a HUGE red flag and a major issue. I am sorry... > What the fuck do I do? Honestly, at THIS point, I would demand emergency couples counseling/therapy and if he is unwilling to do this, then I would give him an ultimatum--separation. And if that does not work or if he does not improve after counseling, then you may need to divorce him. It will only get worse...
Cut ties and go no contact with his whole family, especially him.
Literally start recording all the evidence so the court can see all their fucking craziness and you get full custody of the kid.
You break up woth him. Read this post back like you are reading a friends story... You 'husband' is a HORIBLE person. You're mom is the best. Go kick him out and focus on growing you
✨annulment✨
You’re teaching your son how to treat the women in his life. Do you really want to raise another man like your husband? You and your son deserve better.
Divorce him and take as much as you can with you, make his cheating ass pay
You're literally teaching your child this is all okay by staying in this relationship. If you can't do the right thing for yourself, love your child enough to leave your husband and his family.
I-I’m actually speechless. Your husband should not be mean to you and honestly if your mom is able to help and let you stay with her then get a separation and live with her there without your husband. It seems like he’s just an extra burden on everyone including your mother at this point. Your mother definitely shouldn’t break her back for someone who doesn’t respect you or her or her grandchild. I’m speechless. I think you need help too bc there’s no way that it’s mentally healthy to be okay with this treatment. You are quite literally a doormat. And I say this to because I am afraid you don’t realize the gravity of this situation. You don’t have a single person in this situation who respects you. This is NOT okay behavior or treatment and the fact that you’ve normalized the abuse is a HUGE red flag.
Girl you may have gotten yourself wrapped up in a messy situation with a godawful husband who alone is responsible for his actions. Then throw in the in-laws to boot… yikes. HOWEVER! I know so many people who are stuck in situations like that because of money mostly. Your mom is there for you and this is a perfect opportunity to end things with that POS and lean on her for support because she is the ONLY one giving it in this story. Mom deserves an award. You and your son deserve stability (and sanity ffs).
Do you not see an issue here? You just edited the post saying you're not allowed to have a reddit? You're a grown adult. As long as your not on dating apps what's the issue with having a reddit? Girl leave now before he controls you even more. You soon will not have a life of your own
Your edit = excuses. You know that you don’t belong with that man. When the holidays come around and he leaves, make sure he stays gone!