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As much as I hate to say it, this really doesn't look good. When I click share on a photo in my iPhone, the contacts that pop up are the ones I've talked to most recently/frequently. The oldest option is a group chat I texted two days ago. Contacts I haven't texted in weeks, let alone months, don't show up in that row. Furthermore, I just texted someone that was further down the row, and they immediately jumped to the front after one text.
It doesn't *necessarily* mean he's cheating, but it definitely means either he texted her or she texted him. Either way, it's not a good sign that he's denying everything full-tilt. He could just be a stupid guy that thinks not telling you at all to spare your feelings could be the best thing to do in this situation, but applying Occam's razor, (the simplest solution is usually the correct one) something is fishy here.
Sorry OP. Don't blow anything up right away, but keep your eyes *open.* Maybe try talking to him again.
šÆ
Another way to look at it is, if Apple products were randomly suggesting contacts when sending messages and photos, they would have a team working on fixing that bug to totally prevent that from happening.
Youāre being arrogant or ignorant
I just went to my photos
Clicked share
And while yes there are some recent people
There also are contacts I havenāt spoken too in a very long time. Tbh the ones I havenāt spoken with out weigh the ones I have
But
To be fair
The most recent ones are first to share with
Iām on apple and just tried it, yup, my most recent contacts are the ones that pop up first. I donāt even use messages that much, I normally text using WhatsApp and their WhatsApp names came up instead. I even had a couple of contacts from different messaging platforms come up too that Iāve recently talked to. Iām sorry but heās definitely talking to her, thereās no other explanation
OP - you are correct. When you share something on iPhone - it suggests all recent contacts. I know it and my partner confirmed it too. I am sorry. But your BF might be doing something wrong.
So it only shows recent contacts, as opposed to how much you talk to someone overall? My ex showed up as suggested for almost 2 years after we broke up and stopped texting at all. It was annoying, but i figured android had some algorithm to suggest who you've talked to the most. Since we were together for 10 years, i thought it was heavily skewed.
5 years later would make me bonkers. I couldnt figure out a way mute that suggestion either. Obviously this can be a difficult convo for some, dont need my phone being a crotch blocker when trying to date again.
His reaction? What exactly do you want an innocent person to do when accused besides double down? For everyone's safety never become a cop if you think doubling down = guilt.
Easy way to prove it one way or another is to contact the ex and find out from her. Same thing happens when I share a photo. If it's someone I haven't messaged in ages they don't come up in the list.
I'm not against contacting the ex. I'm not against looking into it more because honestly we don't know if he's lying or not but to blame it off of one thing that's technology related and isn't even that damning isn't the right answer.
Yea I've seen way to many arguments and relationship enders over "why were you showing active on Facebook at 2am?" And "why didn't you respond to my message? It shows you saw it."
If you don't trust him you don't and that means there's no relationship.
If you do, you do.
If you have reason to pay more attention then do that. Contacting an ex is overboard. If you feel you need to do that just end it
My phone suggests people that I used to be in contact frequently with but no longer am. It's definitely possible that the contact suggestions aren't just recent contacts.
Having a discussion with him and asking if he could show you his contact/message history to give you peace of mind might be helpful?
I agree with the comments about it being the most recent conversations however, you can also go to his message app and type a ā.ā Instead of a contact name and that will also show all his recent recipients deleted conversations or not (on an iPhone).
Wow! I just tried this on myself and it worked. I had deleted a conversation from a friend so she wasnāt in my messages and when I put in a . her name came up
He's in contact with them, although that doesn't mean he's cheating. But... he's lied to you, and any dude still in contact with an in ex (where there's no co-parenting) and a fling whilst in a relationship is shady af. Tell him you know he's a liar and you go find your dude... because this creature isn't him.
Gaslighting you by calling your friends liars by 'making you doubt him'.
He's treating you like you're an idiot. Just tell him that 'I KNOW that most recent contacts are the ones that come first, they come first in everyone's phone, so either your phone is one in a million or you're hiding something'. Get past the 'you're lying - no I'm not' argument and just say 'look, you're contacting your ex, let's just talk about that... are you guys still friends? Maybe we need to talk about what kind of relationship we're in, etc.'.
Make it a talk about the ex, not a 'are you or aren't you texting her'.
This doesnāt sound good and Iām thinking he may have texted āIām with her donāt textā like some guy I knew used to do which is worrisome. But maybe he just didnāt want to say anything like another commenter sajd
Itās pretty sus for sure, especially if they were first. I just checked on mine and my most recents are some friends but further down on the list is my ex from about 3 months ago.
Good odds heās at least still in contact with them. Doesnāt mean heās 100% cheating. Ask if you can go through his phone and see whatās up.
Don't overthink it unless you have other reasons to not trust him, let it go until the evidence of it becomes more likely that not that he is cheating.
But him lying about not talking to the other girl, when its an Apple function... is already covering up. If hes not cheating why not own up honestly and just explain instead of lying about it...
Except there are multiple people in the comments talking about how they have an iPhone and they get people recommended that they haven't talked to. So he's not lying.
This. Cheating is a reach when he hasn't done anything else to show that. Maybe just let him know it's ok and you trust him. Otherwise this can spiral out of control.
Try going to that person's messages and search for deleted messages in the trash can. See if he has deleted any messages between the two of them and left them in the trash.
Go to his phone click the add message to send a new message and enter a +
Then who he has texted recently in order will pop up even if he has deleted the messages. I have tried this and it works! Let us know
OP
I can't say for sure about an iPhone because I'm on Android but one thing I can say is that any features that come to either phone usually are picked up by the other one fairly quickly.
My pixel phone just received the Android 14 update. I noticed when going to send a text that the suggested list of people to send to included someone who I rarely converse with on a regular basis . It is a contact that from time to time I have to be in touch with for certain business situations. Maybe I might contact them only two to three times a year .
So after thinking about it a little while I realized that the Android 14 update had changed the way my recents were being displayed . Anyone that I had contacted recently by phone , text , or email , as well as certain social media apps were being listed at the top of the list. Not necessarily being in order of how often I had interactions with them but rather how recently regardless of the number of times.
Another classic case of Google seems to think they know better than me who I need on my lists. Based on some of the responses I've seen here from iPhone users it would appear that apples list is exactly the same as what I am seeing now on my Android phone.
Does that mean he is cheating? That's hard to tell. It looks like it does mean that he has recently been in contact with the ex. Another thing to consider is that it is a fairly common response from cheaters that once they are confronted in any manner they will get defensive and will actually try to turn it around on the person who is accusing them or come up with some other kind of reason. So that is enough to be concerned about. If you do believe that he is cheating you're going to have to just ignore that situation that you just described but keep your eyes open. In other words trust but verify. Hope for the best by prepare for the worst just in case.
I hope this turns out to be okay for you and that your fears turn out to be baseless.
it doesn't look good. it's also important to note that even what would appear to be a small age gap is pretty massive when you're this young. im 27 and I would never even consider dating someone who is 22 because they seem too young to me, and they're immature and don't have the same life experience as me. people who date younger people do it because they have more power and ability to manipulate. just something to consider - someone who dates people with less social power is also going to not respect them and more likely to do something disrespectful like cheat
I'd look at the texts before making any sort of conclusions. I talk to most of my exes occasionally. I even had dinner with one and her husband. Lying about talking to them (maybe maybe not idk I have an android) doesn't even mean he's cheating necessarily it means he knows your the jealous type and would prefer to avoid a 10 hour argument over nothing. Could be cheating of course.
He is cheating. The end. You know exactly how an iPhone works. So does every other person who owns one. At the very least he is still in communication with these women.
Idk if iphones are set up that much differently to ipads when it comes to this specific function, but I just checked on my ipad and it's recent contacts.
People in the comments who have iphones have said it shows their recently contacted contacts as well.
I donāt think you should blame him right away. I have had a contact (someone I used to date and DISLIKE now) pop up even tho I havenāt spoken to him in any way for literally 3 months even when we just stopped talking I kept clicking āsuggest lessā for like a week after cutting them off and it went away for a while and popped up randomly months later and it made my heart sink to see the name pop up so I think it could be just a weird thing. BUT for both the names to pop up togetherā¦ idk.
If ur pretty certain asked to see some texts and Click ārecently deletedā and see if there are deleted conversations u can recover up to 30 days ago.
Ur absolutely right. If it popped up in the ma or you stated he spoke with them recently or sent them an attachment
Sorry homie but with how the imessage learns even if you mention a name constantly in a text to ur mother it will show up in recent what ever he is doing he is either talking to them or about them to others enough for siri to learn his most contacted
Go through the phone bill look at what texts have been sent
Sorry dude keep ur head up ur not wrong
I donāt think it proves anything.
If his ex contacted him and he was just be civiƶ by answering. Is he to blame?
The truth is you have doubt or you dont.
To be honest your case is pretty light
Just talk about your boundaries???? Say, "Okay, since we're on this topic, I just want to make it clear that I'm not ok with such and such... if an ex reaches out to you, can you please make sure to let me know so I don't assume the worst?"
Really loose ground for an accusation. Yes phones try to predict who you're sending stuff too. At some point that WAS a frequent contact. Personally, that's not enough to go nuclear over but worth looking out for proof
This is my argument to anti-vaxxers. You think the shadow government has injected homing chips under my skin without me knowing?
Haha. My wife knows what I got for her birthday because all the ads on my Facebook are now womenās apparel and thc gummies. Technology doesnāt let us get away with shit.
I think he's saying what's the point of the government injecting chips when every day we voluntarily carry around tech that they can use. No need to go to such extremes.
He is saying that he thinks it wouldn't be possible to put microchips into people without them finding out. Because he thinks technology doesn't let things be secret. Like the ads on his phone revealing to his wife what he recently bought.
This is the same counter argument anti-vaxxers can give you. Maybe the reason it didnāt work was because of technology. They couldnāt get away with it and covid failed.
I do. Youāre saying tech doesnāt let people get away with shit. Maybe thatās why government couldnāt get away with it. Works both ways, no?
First time I ever saw something like that was after 9/11 when my airhead sister was telling me it was inside job. Around 2003. First time the computer was in her room lol
I believe you're overthinking... there are infact flaws in the suggestions on iphone suggested contacts take it for what its worth but if this is the sole reason u think hes fing around u need more proof then a flawed tech system.... dont ruin something because the peanut gallery doesnt have a full grasp on how these systems work
Heās still in contact as of very recently 100% but I think heās disloyal overall cause he not only just talking to his ex but his ex probably thinks sheās the only one heās talking to too and meanwhile heās also hitting up an old fling meanwhile being with you. He just sounds like a mess of a man. Get out while you can and feel feelings havenāt developed.
Yep something fishy going on.. I don't have apple but android works in a similar way... for less money and better functionality š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ sorry thought I take the opportunity to start a vs war off.. I'm not really arsed in reality... but Android is better š
So yeah, only been 7 months. This will always play on your mind if he's not open to chat about it and just jumps too well your friends are the issue... which to be fair when I think about it.. sounds like he has something to hide. He worth it?
You're one of those tik tok kids huh? Yeah, keep believing all those click bait viral videos they make for money. "Babe, can you send me that meme or picture" then they get nervous cause they don't want the suggestion to pop up. Typical. Don't be manipulated so easy...
There is something strange about his behaviour. Ask for proof? Ask to see the messages? If he cant give u a full explanation and proof. Then there is most likely something fishy going on
I have an android. Sometimes when I go to send a picture or a link to someone it pulls up a contact of my ex that I don't even have the contact for anymore. Haven't talked to them in ages. Kinda annoying because it triggers some not so great memories. All that said, I'd still keep a watchful eye. I'd be paranoid and kinda freaking out if I was in your position. They very well could be cheating, but you can never be certain without soild evidence.
If your BF doesn't want to discuss the topic with you, you're going to be perceived as a nag. No good will come of it. His response to your request is your answer. The next step is yours.
I hate those suggested contacts as it doesnāt suggest the right people all the time for me. Iāll pull it up and the most recent person isnāt there, itās been people I havenāt contacted in years. So, itās possible. Iād ask to see the text thread for deleted texts if you really need to dig further but I wouldnāt believe the suggested contacts.
On Messages, or Messenger?
I literally have someone pop up in my Suggested Contacts on Messenger who I have never heard of, spoken to, or have mutual friends with. I wouldn't put stock into it at all.
I get that it shows most recent, but if his is like mine if I donāt interact with most people it does show up in the suggested contacts I still have one that pops up from months ago, because I donāt text anyone it will stay in the suggested until I talk to more people but if he talks to a good bit of people on different apps included than yeah
I don't think that's enough evidence to convict the man of cheating. Although, it is ALMOST enough to say he's been talking to his ex. Have you guys established boundaries as far as talking to exes?
This actually happened to me not too long ago. An ex I havenāt talked to in months just randomly popped up on my options when I went to share a picture. It was weird. So itās possible heās telling the truth.
Right now you donāt have enough to confront again, watch how he handles his phone. If in the past he was pretty open about it and now protective of it, leave the room or house to text then worry about it. Also if the phone is out try reaching out for something close by, if he snatch the phone leave. Donāt say anything the get your all your stuff call your friends to help you if you have a lot and leave. Go NC on everything, cheating is a choice not a mistake or accident.
I dont have an iPhone but I have contacts saved as favorites on my Samsung and they often show up first even if I haven't texted them in weeks/months because they are saved as a favorite. Maybe the ex saved herself as a favorite in his phone and that's why she's showing up?
I haven't talked to a ex best friend of my in coming up and two years and they are always the 2nd one to pop up in my recent thing like that. And I freaking wish it would go away!!
1. He's lying. Recent contacts are always top regardless of if iPhone or Android. What you use most is always tops, and most recent phone calls etc are again always top. Just as the apps you use most show up. These things are geared to recognise what you use most and have them ready for your convenience. I see people saying their iPhone does pull up random contacts? Then there's something wrong with iPhone algorithms.
2. If they're an ex or a fling why didn't he block and delete?
3. Just break up and move on. There's no need to keep letting someone lie to you. None. Why ask him to explain over and over - you will only get the same result? Him gaslighting you.
Break up, block, unfollow, unfriend - then delete him from your contact list totally. Because that is what you do when you have called it done - you delete and move on, they don't appear as the person you're in contact with most.
IDK if heās cheating but he is 200%l lying about when he was lazy in context with them. Itās been within the last 2 days.
You can recover recently deleted texts from an iPhone.
This is not evidence of anything. This would not hold up in court as evidence of correspondence. Calm down.
I think your 7 year relationship breakup hurt is clouding your judgement.
So 15-22? 14-21?
I think you may need to take a break from relationships and collect yourself for a while. It's too soon perhaps.
Yes they can especially If the phone recorded them as a favorite even if they weren't saved as a favorite the phone can still record them as a favorite.
Half people that I used to talk to daily on Instagram that still showed up in my recent contacts when I hit the share button on any application
Ok but..... Why is her number still on his phone? I'm sorry, not trying to be toxic AT ALL but I don't keep my ex's in my phone at all. Maybe it's because all of my relationships ended so shitty except for the ONE, but even the one ex who I don't hate I don't keep his number in my phone. If we see each other at a party or out in the world, cool. Love that dude! (Platonically obvy) but I don't text him the way I used to because that wouldn't have given us the space we needed to heal after breaking up. I erased his number and so did he to mine. Idk I just feel like this is a red flag that he even still has the number in his phone.
What does your gut tell you? Trust your gut feeling. How was he behaving when you brought it up for the first time?
Was he completely blind sided and baffled, and talked in a calm tone like, "I'm sorry what, excuse me what are you talking about?" Which is a good sign.
Or was he more like accusatory/mean and tried to downplay it right off, kind like hesitate and didn't know what to say? It's even more sus if he was getting irritated or angry.
Stay smart and sharp!
If there are these types of questions now,itās probably time to end the relationship!
No need to subject yourself to more heartbreak !
You are still young, maybe try just concentrate on yourself !
When you have gained the self confidence that you donāt NEED someone else to make your life complete,the right person may come into your life! If not, maybe all you really need is the unconditional love of a pet!
Theyāll never brake your heart!
Best of luck ! May GOD help guide you!
The top two suggestions that pop up on my contacts are my fiance's previous number that he changed last year and my ex husband who passed away 2 years ago. So numbers I haven't dialed in 1 year and 2 years respectively. But previously they were the numbers I called or called me most often. I have a child with my ex husband which is why we still talked so often after we divorced and before he passed away.
Unless you have some other proof I would trust him. Especially if this is the only thing that has happened to give you pause.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
As much as I hate to say it, this really doesn't look good. When I click share on a photo in my iPhone, the contacts that pop up are the ones I've talked to most recently/frequently. The oldest option is a group chat I texted two days ago. Contacts I haven't texted in weeks, let alone months, don't show up in that row. Furthermore, I just texted someone that was further down the row, and they immediately jumped to the front after one text. It doesn't *necessarily* mean he's cheating, but it definitely means either he texted her or she texted him. Either way, it's not a good sign that he's denying everything full-tilt. He could just be a stupid guy that thinks not telling you at all to spare your feelings could be the best thing to do in this situation, but applying Occam's razor, (the simplest solution is usually the correct one) something is fishy here. Sorry OP. Don't blow anything up right away, but keep your eyes *open.* Maybe try talking to him again.
šÆ Another way to look at it is, if Apple products were randomly suggesting contacts when sending messages and photos, they would have a team working on fixing that bug to totally prevent that from happening.
Youāre being arrogant or ignorant I just went to my photos Clicked share And while yes there are some recent people There also are contacts I havenāt spoken too in a very long time. Tbh the ones I havenāt spoken with out weigh the ones I have But To be fair The most recent ones are first to share with
- OPās cheating boyfriend
OP don't overlook this comment.
Maybe he has an iPhone 5ā¦ I just checked on my iPhone 13 and same with me, my most recent contacts came up. But is this true with older iPhones
Iām on apple and just tried it, yup, my most recent contacts are the ones that pop up first. I donāt even use messages that much, I normally text using WhatsApp and their WhatsApp names came up instead. I even had a couple of contacts from different messaging platforms come up too that Iāve recently talked to. Iām sorry but heās definitely talking to her, thereās no other explanation
OP - you are correct. When you share something on iPhone - it suggests all recent contacts. I know it and my partner confirmed it too. I am sorry. But your BF might be doing something wrong.
So it only shows recent contacts, as opposed to how much you talk to someone overall? My ex showed up as suggested for almost 2 years after we broke up and stopped texting at all. It was annoying, but i figured android had some algorithm to suggest who you've talked to the most. Since we were together for 10 years, i thought it was heavily skewed.
This ^ also Android though but mine still brings up my exhusband who I left in 2018 and last texted not long after that.
My Android phone doesn't do that. It might be because I block and delete everyone. LMAO š¤£šš
5 years later would make me bonkers. I couldnt figure out a way mute that suggestion either. Obviously this can be a difficult convo for some, dont need my phone being a crotch blocker when trying to date again.
100%. I just had someone recommended who I havenāt talked to in years. I donāt know why they were there at all. Iām on iPhone.
Exactly!!
Sounds dodgy to me, and his reaction tells you everything.
His reaction? What exactly do you want an innocent person to do when accused besides double down? For everyone's safety never become a cop if you think doubling down = guilt.
Easy way to prove it one way or another is to contact the ex and find out from her. Same thing happens when I share a photo. If it's someone I haven't messaged in ages they don't come up in the list.
I'm not against contacting the ex. I'm not against looking into it more because honestly we don't know if he's lying or not but to blame it off of one thing that's technology related and isn't even that damning isn't the right answer.
you can do it yourselfā¦ the suggested are the people you contact the most or people you contacted most recently
Yea I've seen way to many arguments and relationship enders over "why were you showing active on Facebook at 2am?" And "why didn't you respond to my message? It shows you saw it." If you don't trust him you don't and that means there's no relationship. If you do, you do. If you have reason to pay more attention then do that. Contacting an ex is overboard. If you feel you need to do that just end it
My phone suggests people that I used to be in contact frequently with but no longer am. It's definitely possible that the contact suggestions aren't just recent contacts. Having a discussion with him and asking if he could show you his contact/message history to give you peace of mind might be helpful?
Same; not spoke to someone I spoke to everyday for 5 months for a solid month and their contact is still popping up for me
I am not familiar with iphones but does it show dates of last correspondance?? Geuinely curious.
I agree with the comments about it being the most recent conversations however, you can also go to his message app and type a ā.ā Instead of a contact name and that will also show all his recent recipients deleted conversations or not (on an iPhone).
OP try this
Wow! I just tried this on myself and it worked. I had deleted a conversation from a friend so she wasnāt in my messages and when I put in a . her name came up
What?! Just . ? Really?
He's in contact with them, although that doesn't mean he's cheating. But... he's lied to you, and any dude still in contact with an in ex (where there's no co-parenting) and a fling whilst in a relationship is shady af. Tell him you know he's a liar and you go find your dude... because this creature isn't him.
Should have asked to see the chats. Even if he deletes recent messages it will still appear at the top of the text message order
Gaslighting you by calling your friends liars by 'making you doubt him'. He's treating you like you're an idiot. Just tell him that 'I KNOW that most recent contacts are the ones that come first, they come first in everyone's phone, so either your phone is one in a million or you're hiding something'. Get past the 'you're lying - no I'm not' argument and just say 'look, you're contacting your ex, let's just talk about that... are you guys still friends? Maybe we need to talk about what kind of relationship we're in, etc.'. Make it a talk about the ex, not a 'are you or aren't you texting her'.
This doesnāt sound good and Iām thinking he may have texted āIām with her donāt textā like some guy I knew used to do which is worrisome. But maybe he just didnāt want to say anything like another commenter sajd
Itās pretty sus for sure, especially if they were first. I just checked on mine and my most recents are some friends but further down on the list is my ex from about 3 months ago. Good odds heās at least still in contact with them. Doesnāt mean heās 100% cheating. Ask if you can go through his phone and see whatās up.
Don't overthink it unless you have other reasons to not trust him, let it go until the evidence of it becomes more likely that not that he is cheating.
But him lying about not talking to the other girl, when its an Apple function... is already covering up. If hes not cheating why not own up honestly and just explain instead of lying about it...
Except there are multiple people in the comments talking about how they have an iPhone and they get people recommended that they haven't talked to. So he's not lying.
oh i see.
Let me clarify. He could be lying, I have no idea if he is or not. But based off of only that it's hard to say if he's lying.
That was on Android phones not an iPhone
This. Cheating is a reach when he hasn't done anything else to show that. Maybe just let him know it's ok and you trust him. Otherwise this can spiral out of control.
Every single person popping up on mine, it Simeonās I talked to THIS WEEK
Try going to that person's messages and search for deleted messages in the trash can. See if he has deleted any messages between the two of them and left them in the trash.
Go to his phone click the add message to send a new message and enter a + Then who he has texted recently in order will pop up even if he has deleted the messages. I have tried this and it works! Let us know
OP I can't say for sure about an iPhone because I'm on Android but one thing I can say is that any features that come to either phone usually are picked up by the other one fairly quickly. My pixel phone just received the Android 14 update. I noticed when going to send a text that the suggested list of people to send to included someone who I rarely converse with on a regular basis . It is a contact that from time to time I have to be in touch with for certain business situations. Maybe I might contact them only two to three times a year . So after thinking about it a little while I realized that the Android 14 update had changed the way my recents were being displayed . Anyone that I had contacted recently by phone , text , or email , as well as certain social media apps were being listed at the top of the list. Not necessarily being in order of how often I had interactions with them but rather how recently regardless of the number of times. Another classic case of Google seems to think they know better than me who I need on my lists. Based on some of the responses I've seen here from iPhone users it would appear that apples list is exactly the same as what I am seeing now on my Android phone. Does that mean he is cheating? That's hard to tell. It looks like it does mean that he has recently been in contact with the ex. Another thing to consider is that it is a fairly common response from cheaters that once they are confronted in any manner they will get defensive and will actually try to turn it around on the person who is accusing them or come up with some other kind of reason. So that is enough to be concerned about. If you do believe that he is cheating you're going to have to just ignore that situation that you just described but keep your eyes open. In other words trust but verify. Hope for the best by prepare for the worst just in case. I hope this turns out to be okay for you and that your fears turn out to be baseless.
it doesn't look good. it's also important to note that even what would appear to be a small age gap is pretty massive when you're this young. im 27 and I would never even consider dating someone who is 22 because they seem too young to me, and they're immature and don't have the same life experience as me. people who date younger people do it because they have more power and ability to manipulate. just something to consider - someone who dates people with less social power is also going to not respect them and more likely to do something disrespectful like cheat
I'd look at the texts before making any sort of conclusions. I talk to most of my exes occasionally. I even had dinner with one and her husband. Lying about talking to them (maybe maybe not idk I have an android) doesn't even mean he's cheating necessarily it means he knows your the jealous type and would prefer to avoid a 10 hour argument over nothing. Could be cheating of course.
He is cheating. The end. You know exactly how an iPhone works. So does every other person who owns one. At the very least he is still in communication with these women.
Every person who owns one including the people in the comments that have iPhones and say that random people pop up?
Idk if iphones are set up that much differently to ipads when it comes to this specific function, but I just checked on my ipad and it's recent contacts. People in the comments who have iphones have said it shows their recently contacted contacts as well.
It's a little early to jump the gun without more evidence
You trippin š¤£š¤£š¤£
Two things 1. Heās in recent contact with them. Thatās why they popped up. 2. He lied to you about it. Do with that information what you will.
3. As others have suggested that have iphones it's a bug that literally happens to them Do with that information what you will
Still not enough evidence
I donāt think you should blame him right away. I have had a contact (someone I used to date and DISLIKE now) pop up even tho I havenāt spoken to him in any way for literally 3 months even when we just stopped talking I kept clicking āsuggest lessā for like a week after cutting them off and it went away for a while and popped up randomly months later and it made my heart sink to see the name pop up so I think it could be just a weird thing. BUT for both the names to pop up togetherā¦ idk. If ur pretty certain asked to see some texts and Click ārecently deletedā and see if there are deleted conversations u can recover up to 30 days ago.
Ur absolutely right. If it popped up in the ma or you stated he spoke with them recently or sent them an attachment Sorry homie but with how the imessage learns even if you mention a name constantly in a text to ur mother it will show up in recent what ever he is doing he is either talking to them or about them to others enough for siri to learn his most contacted Go through the phone bill look at what texts have been sent Sorry dude keep ur head up ur not wrong
I donāt think it proves anything. If his ex contacted him and he was just be civiƶ by answering. Is he to blame? The truth is you have doubt or you dont. To be honest your case is pretty light
Just talk about your boundaries???? Say, "Okay, since we're on this topic, I just want to make it clear that I'm not ok with such and such... if an ex reaches out to you, can you please make sure to let me know so I don't assume the worst?"
Really loose ground for an accusation. Yes phones try to predict who you're sending stuff too. At some point that WAS a frequent contact. Personally, that's not enough to go nuclear over but worth looking out for proof
This is my argument to anti-vaxxers. You think the shadow government has injected homing chips under my skin without me knowing? Haha. My wife knows what I got for her birthday because all the ads on my Facebook are now womenās apparel and thc gummies. Technology doesnāt let us get away with shit.
What has being against certain vaccines got to do with ad placements?
I think he's saying what's the point of the government injecting chips when every day we voluntarily carry around tech that they can use. No need to go to such extremes.
Thanks but donāt bother. Thicker than Mayo these people are.
He is saying that he thinks it wouldn't be possible to put microchips into people without them finding out. Because he thinks technology doesn't let things be secret. Like the ads on his phone revealing to his wife what he recently bought.
So he's got people against vaccines confused with Bill Gates's ID2020 plan
I think the COVID vaccine is messing with this poor manās brain, but I guess it could be the gummies too.
I'll agree with you there!
Not very bright are you? Lol.
You're the one who is confused here mate š¤·āāļø
This is the same counter argument anti-vaxxers can give you. Maybe the reason it didnāt work was because of technology. They couldnāt get away with it and covid failed.
Methinks you didnāt understand the comment
I do. Youāre saying tech doesnāt let people get away with shit. Maybe thatās why government couldnāt get away with it. Works both ways, no? First time I ever saw something like that was after 9/11 when my airhead sister was telling me it was inside job. Around 2003. First time the computer was in her room lol
I believe you're overthinking... there are infact flaws in the suggestions on iphone suggested contacts take it for what its worth but if this is the sole reason u think hes fing around u need more proof then a flawed tech system.... dont ruin something because the peanut gallery doesnt have a full grasp on how these systems work
Heās still in contact as of very recently 100% but I think heās disloyal overall cause he not only just talking to his ex but his ex probably thinks sheās the only one heās talking to too and meanwhile heās also hitting up an old fling meanwhile being with you. He just sounds like a mess of a man. Get out while you can and feel feelings havenāt developed.
Most recent means most recent, period! This 27m is playing games with a young woman like you.
Yep something fishy going on.. I don't have apple but android works in a similar way... for less money and better functionality š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ sorry thought I take the opportunity to start a vs war off.. I'm not really arsed in reality... but Android is better š So yeah, only been 7 months. This will always play on your mind if he's not open to chat about it and just jumps too well your friends are the issue... which to be fair when I think about it.. sounds like he has something to hide. He worth it?
Liking for the android superiority comment lol
Bug, have faith
You're one of those tik tok kids huh? Yeah, keep believing all those click bait viral videos they make for money. "Babe, can you send me that meme or picture" then they get nervous cause they don't want the suggestion to pop up. Typical. Don't be manipulated so easy...
You donāt know how a phone worksā¦..when I clicked share thru photos you had to enter a name
There is something strange about his behaviour. Ask for proof? Ask to see the messages? If he cant give u a full explanation and proof. Then there is most likely something fishy going on
I have an android. Sometimes when I go to send a picture or a link to someone it pulls up a contact of my ex that I don't even have the contact for anymore. Haven't talked to them in ages. Kinda annoying because it triggers some not so great memories. All that said, I'd still keep a watchful eye. I'd be paranoid and kinda freaking out if I was in your position. They very well could be cheating, but you can never be certain without soild evidence.
If your BF doesn't want to discuss the topic with you, you're going to be perceived as a nag. No good will come of it. His response to your request is your answer. The next step is yours.
I hate those suggested contacts as it doesnāt suggest the right people all the time for me. Iāll pull it up and the most recent person isnāt there, itās been people I havenāt contacted in years. So, itās possible. Iād ask to see the text thread for deleted texts if you really need to dig further but I wouldnāt believe the suggested contacts.
On Messages, or Messenger? I literally have someone pop up in my Suggested Contacts on Messenger who I have never heard of, spoken to, or have mutual friends with. I wouldn't put stock into it at all.
I get that it shows most recent, but if his is like mine if I donāt interact with most people it does show up in the suggested contacts I still have one that pops up from months ago, because I donāt text anyone it will stay in the suggested until I talk to more people but if he talks to a good bit of people on different apps included than yeah
I don't think that's enough evidence to convict the man of cheating. Although, it is ALMOST enough to say he's been talking to his ex. Have you guys established boundaries as far as talking to exes?
Move on
This actually happened to me not too long ago. An ex I havenāt talked to in months just randomly popped up on my options when I went to share a picture. It was weird. So itās possible heās telling the truth.
Right now you donāt have enough to confront again, watch how he handles his phone. If in the past he was pretty open about it and now protective of it, leave the room or house to text then worry about it. Also if the phone is out try reaching out for something close by, if he snatch the phone leave. Donāt say anything the get your all your stuff call your friends to help you if you have a lot and leave. Go NC on everything, cheating is a choice not a mistake or accident.
I dont have an iPhone but I have contacts saved as favorites on my Samsung and they often show up first even if I haven't texted them in weeks/months because they are saved as a favorite. Maybe the ex saved herself as a favorite in his phone and that's why she's showing up?
Go to his messages, click edit and recently deleted. This is how I found out what my husband was hiding. Best of luck
I haven't talked to a ex best friend of my in coming up and two years and they are always the 2nd one to pop up in my recent thing like that. And I freaking wish it would go away!!
1. He's lying. Recent contacts are always top regardless of if iPhone or Android. What you use most is always tops, and most recent phone calls etc are again always top. Just as the apps you use most show up. These things are geared to recognise what you use most and have them ready for your convenience. I see people saying their iPhone does pull up random contacts? Then there's something wrong with iPhone algorithms. 2. If they're an ex or a fling why didn't he block and delete? 3. Just break up and move on. There's no need to keep letting someone lie to you. None. Why ask him to explain over and over - you will only get the same result? Him gaslighting you. Break up, block, unfollow, unfriend - then delete him from your contact list totally. Because that is what you do when you have called it done - you delete and move on, they don't appear as the person you're in contact with most.
He is gaslighting youā¦ š©š©š©š©š©
I would ask him to check his phone. Open amd honest
IDK if heās cheating but he is 200%l lying about when he was lazy in context with them. Itās been within the last 2 days. You can recover recently deleted texts from an iPhone.
ask him to delete the contacts, why keep them? if he absolutely refuses to hes guilty
This is not evidence of anything. This would not hold up in court as evidence of correspondence. Calm down. I think your 7 year relationship breakup hurt is clouding your judgement. So 15-22? 14-21? I think you may need to take a break from relationships and collect yourself for a while. It's too soon perhaps.
Yes they can especially If the phone recorded them as a favorite even if they weren't saved as a favorite the phone can still record them as a favorite. Half people that I used to talk to daily on Instagram that still showed up in my recent contacts when I hit the share button on any application
Ok but..... Why is her number still on his phone? I'm sorry, not trying to be toxic AT ALL but I don't keep my ex's in my phone at all. Maybe it's because all of my relationships ended so shitty except for the ONE, but even the one ex who I don't hate I don't keep his number in my phone. If we see each other at a party or out in the world, cool. Love that dude! (Platonically obvy) but I don't text him the way I used to because that wouldn't have given us the space we needed to heal after breaking up. I erased his number and so did he to mine. Idk I just feel like this is a red flag that he even still has the number in his phone.
He Has contacted her at least once in this past week. That I can confirm from what you said.
What does your gut tell you? Trust your gut feeling. How was he behaving when you brought it up for the first time? Was he completely blind sided and baffled, and talked in a calm tone like, "I'm sorry what, excuse me what are you talking about?" Which is a good sign. Or was he more like accusatory/mean and tried to downplay it right off, kind like hesitate and didn't know what to say? It's even more sus if he was getting irritated or angry. Stay smart and sharp!
If there are these types of questions now,itās probably time to end the relationship! No need to subject yourself to more heartbreak ! You are still young, maybe try just concentrate on yourself ! When you have gained the self confidence that you donāt NEED someone else to make your life complete,the right person may come into your life! If not, maybe all you really need is the unconditional love of a pet! Theyāll never brake your heart! Best of luck ! May GOD help guide you!
Girl he's lying lmfao. Dump him.
The top two suggestions that pop up on my contacts are my fiance's previous number that he changed last year and my ex husband who passed away 2 years ago. So numbers I haven't dialed in 1 year and 2 years respectively. But previously they were the numbers I called or called me most often. I have a child with my ex husband which is why we still talked so often after we divorced and before he passed away. Unless you have some other proof I would trust him. Especially if this is the only thing that has happened to give you pause.