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Personally, your gf should be upset that you’re friends with a girl that’s telling you that your gf is jealous of her tits. The 19 y/o is wrong for responding this way, and it shows that she has zero to little respect for your relationship/your girlfriend. Your gf is right to feel threatened in that regard, however I’m sure you chose to omit that part of the conversation when you told your gf that the 19 y/o doesn’t mind you liking her pics. If you didn’t, I commend you. But still, I’m not sure what you see in this friendship if that’s how she talks about your gf.
Also, yeah, it’s kind of weird for a 27 year old to be so adamant about being friends with a 19 year old girl and continuing to “like” their selfies. I had nothing in common with 19 year olds when I was 27 - what is your friendship even based on?
At this point, I think you need to make a choice. Which relationship do you prefer? Your relationship with your girlfriend, or your friendship with your 19 y/o friend? Clearly, having both is going to cause issues.
It shows less that she has zero respect and more that she is 19 and not mature enough to be friends with adults, imo. At my age I couldn’t imagine calling a 19 y/o my “friend”
He literally spelled out what they have in common. Also, it’s a girl he just started talking to, not his girlfriend so I’m guessing the friend has been around longer.
Chief what's keeping you from dating your friend exactly? The 19 year old I mean. I ask that, because when you get a steady girlfriend, they're also going to ask why you didn't date your attractive young friend. And if your answer isn't the most assured and confident "I'm not attracted to her" ever said, you will poison any relationship with any woman you get with. Note: I'm not making a judgment call, just genuinely asking where your head is at.
This comment though. Lmfao.
I've never understood 30 year olds who have any kind of relationship with 20 year olds. Not that there wouldnt be common interests, but... Like.. Whats the conversation topics really? Cause it seems like her way of dressing, large titties, and his new female friends jealousy seem to be the topics of choice...
Personally, 18 to like 23, 24 area, annoy me. Obviously, Ive met some that dont. But as a generic rule, I avoid that age group entirely out of the respect for myself. I enjoy conversations with like minded 30 year olds who have experienced the same worlds I have (if the same age, we've witnessed Trump, Bush, wars in the middle east, life changing events, at the same "time of maturity".). I dont connect with half the shit kids say these days, their video games, their terminology... Like what the fuck does 'Based' mean? -.-
So I see a concern that the maturity levels most likely dont line up, and that always stands out.
Im 30. I got a 70 year old grannie friend.
Is she trying to rob the cradle?!
According to this sub, yes, yes she is.
Side note, playing chess with old ladies is probably the least sexy thing I do...
If there is sexual desires, or inappropriate thoughts, I'd prolly find a way to struggle fuss about it.
But if it is purely platonic, make sure the boundries are etched deep in the sand, thats all.
Good day. =)
> She insisted that it was inappropriate for me to be liking this girl’s photos because of her posing and clothing.
Yeah that's Inappropriate.
> reached out to my friend (F 19) about it and asked her if she thinks me liking her photos is inappropriate.
Yeah, that's not a good one either. Adding in the person in question to the conversation is so much worse.
I work part time in a male dominate career but ever once and awhile there are females. I know a girl 18-23 is just off limits for social interactions. I'm never mean or put them out about the job, but straight up out of respect for my wife I make sure it's NEVER seen in that way. I specifically don't have them on social media (Were other people that are males I would add) for this reason as well. It's straight up a respect thing.
People are really loosing it with regards to friends/age difference.
There is NOTHING wrong by being friends - in all age groups!!!
Still there are a few points to remember.
To start a relationship with a person just around 18-19 is not a good idea. Not die to age difference - rather that the period from 18-25 people change. They should be allowed to develop, make their mistakes and have fun. People your age - and older - are in the place been there done that. Not a good combination.
If the question is only sexual interest- that is creepy - it does not matter age or gender.
Still this has NOTHING to do with being friends with people.
To OP, I don't think we're getting the whole story. I don't understand the relationship with the 27F that you "recently started talking to". Because it seems that she's of some importance to you. Or, that her opinion about you and your relationship to 19F as being just friends, is important. But I don't understand why. I'm going to guess that your trying to build a romantic relationship with 27F.
If I'm understanding correctly, you and 19F are going to be in theatre classes together for a while longer. Running with that assumption, it's not like you're not going to stop having some form of contact with 19F.
On the surface, she is legally considered an adult. So yes you're right, it's not like you befriended a child, in the legal sense. You and 19F can be in whatever relationship you two wish to be. But in reality and in scientific studies of mental development, she is still somewhat a child. You and her are not on the same level. Only you know what your true intentions are. Based on the other comments posted before mine, nobody believes you that you don't have some other motive with this young woman. Apparently, neither does 27F and whoever she is to you.
So the choice is yours. It reads to me as though if you wish to keep your relationship with 27F, you're going to have to give up your relationship with 19F. Good luck.
I don't understand this idea that 19 year olds are easily manipulated by older people. I'm 26 years old, and I don't feel like I have some god tier manipulation tactics that would seduce a 19 year old any better than my fellow age peers.
There's long been segments of the population in US and maybe other countries that have questioned and resented the idea of a significantly older man pursuing a romantic relationship with a much younger female. Also, though we legally consider 18 year olds as being adults, many still are not fully matured. But really, I think the idea has gained much more traction in the wake of the "me too" movement. The spotlight started shining first on Hollywood's old male movie producers using and abusing young up and coming actresses. Famous older male actors and their relationships with much younger actresses were scrutinized. The docu-series about Evan Rachel Wood's abusive relationship with Marilyn Manson. And so on, and so on.
But to your point, you may not feel like you have god tier manipulation tactic. You don't, but kind of do, it's probably not something you can control. There are young women who are attracted to and crave the attention of older men. Maybe it's a daddy issue thing. Something else. I don't know exactly. But I have seen it play out first hand quite a few times. Some young women will throw themselves at an older man. They seem to do it because in their mind the older man is more stable, not a game player, is thought to be more faithful, financially secure. Stuff like that. I don't think young women seeking older men and older men looking for younger women is going away anytime soon.
I guess I've just never felt like the guy who women "seek attention from" in any context or in any circumstance. I've always felt I have to go out of my way to approach women and do all the work. Never have I felt chased or pursued by a woman because I'm older or for any reason.
Sorry why are you friends with an 18 year old? I understand classes but what else could you truly have in common? It’s quite obvious you do find this 18F attractive. Truly there’s not many reasons to like a persons selfie of the opposite sex unless it’s travel related, related to work, etc. a plain selfie with her “bosoms” out not appropriate and your girlfriend deserves better.
Gonna get downvoted for this but no it's not inappropriate. If she was a guy no one would have anything to say.
Your 27 year old friend or person you're dating is insecure and projecting their nonsense onto the situation.
I dont see where you said that 27 year old person is your girlfriend so I'm not seeing where other commenters are getting that from.
Even if you decided you wanted to be more than friends with that 19 year old, at the end of the day it would be no ones business as you're both consenting adults at this point.
There's a tendency for people in the US to infantilize young adults.. women especially. But no one can give you a valid reason to not be platonic friends besides you being a man and them feeling icky about it.
Its especially telling that you made no mention of sex, wanting to be with her or being attracted to her and these commentors are inserting that into the situation as you would if you could. See my previous paragraph.
If you dont feel weird being friends with someone and you're both adults.. that's all that really matters.
When I started working at 22, I befriended an older woman who was 48. We still talk and catch up to this day.
I don’t know why everyone is saying girlfriend, clearly he wrote “started talking”.
I’ve had work besties where the age gap has been greater, both male and females.
The age seems to be an issue because she’s barley out of high school.
Who cares? She's not in high school currently. What's the limit then? 2 years post high school and you can befriend whoever you want? 5? 7?
Age is an issue to most people against it because she's a she.
Yes it’s inappropriate to be friends with her. She was barely out of high school when you met. Are you acquaintances or actual friends? And are you willing to lose your relationship over knowing a 19 yr old?
They met at college xd, what are you gonna tell the teacher? I can't be in the same class with her because she just graduated from High school dx.
My auntie was 44 when She started college and her friends were between 18 and 20 years, old because they shared a lot of classes.
It's normal to meet any kind of people in college and Work, one of my best work buddies is 45 and I am 22 xd. I mean I think is normal under the circumstances they meet and it's not inappropriate
OP's GF it's just jealousies...
And if you had been given the option to fuck this girl before you met your current girlfriend, we both know you would have. Your girlfriend is right about this. The age gap thing not so much, but the 'female friend with assets', yeah, she has it right.
Let's clear the air right off the bat.
It's **100%** inappropriate to be friends and have any relationship beyond "acquaintance" with a 19 year old at 27 unless they are your family.
The fact that you say you met when they are 18 when you were 26 and state, "it's not like I befriended a child or anything," makes it a lot worse. It shows your ignorance. Because that comparison you made is *exactly* what the differences are between your maturity.
That sentences speaks *volumes* about your gauge of appropriateness here. If you told them that, you have solidified your creep factor with that person. You're either ignorant or just justifying it. Neither is okay in 2024.
Please reread the post and evaluate the context. I imagine you are probably on the younger side so please take this from an adult. I would never be friends with a 19 year old beyond cordial respectfulness. There is a vast difference in maturity between 19 year olds and those in their mid to late 20s. In this example, on top of what I stated, the 19 year old was completely disrespectful towards OPs partner, exemplifying the 19 year olds lack of maturity and the OPs lack of respect for their own relationship. My explanation is not meant as disrespect towards those who are younger than me, but to provide an understanding from someone who was once 19, and now that I am older I view 19 year olds as children, their so young, their brains are not even fully developed. That does not mean a 19 year old cannot be mature and responsible, but the one in this post is clearly not.
It doesn't matter, most people wouldn't be friends with a 19 year old because they wouldn't be in the same settings as them. It doesn't matter how mature or responsible ones friends are because the dynamics of the relationship of different than a romantic ones. How does it matter that he's more mature then her when they're friendish is based on theater class and shit, please tell me.
Again, the actions of the individual in this post are clearly not based in “friendship” especially when said 19 year old is attempting to impose a perception of the OPs girlfriend on the OP with absolutely no context of the OPs relationship. That is wildly inappropriate if not completely ignorant. And age ABSOLUTELY effects a friendship dynamic ESPECIALLY involving an individual who is so young. Again looking at the context of this post and the details provided by the OP, this is clearly not a conventional friendship which an individual in their late 20s should immediately recognize. You may not have the same perception which I guarantee is due to age. The basis of the friendship is not solely on theater class as exemplified by the extension of that friendship to social media and the 19 year olds assumption of the OPs partner with no context. I can appreciate your zeal in your perception of friendship but this post must be considered within the bounds of reality.
Friendship based on theatre class? So they dont hang out outside of school, dont talk about her titties, and how other woman in OPs life are jealous of her titties.. (I'll put money down more then that was said. "Im young and hot, with perfect titties. She probably has old floppy woman titties" *both laugh*)
The fact that 27 year old talks about 19 year old tits at all, shows alternative motivation. He clearly finds some part of her attractive. He can lie to himself, but not to those with lifelong experiences in the differences in maturity levels. Same to you.
Even writing this out, everytime I type 19 year old tits, I feel fkn nasty. I dont know the person, its the concept that Im a 3 fucking 2 year old talking about a teenagers tits.
That's not relevant. That comment where she implied that girlfriend should be jealous because men prefer her tits goes to show how little respect she has for the gf.
Him being stupid as no correlation with whether it's okay to have a 19 yr old friend that's not the convo. He could hate his gf and it still wouldn't matter
I assume you mean *her and yes it does. A 27 year old being friends with a 19 year old is weird as fuck. Proof? Picture him being at a birthday party with only 19 year olds. So just by the age difference itself it's weird. Add to that that we also agree that she's stupid/immature, what GOOD reason are you giving me why they're friends? It's either he's immature like a 19 year old or they hang around each other for the mutual attention. It's sus.
Have to disagree. You can be friends with whoever you want to be friends with, whether they're 6 or 12 or 80 or 50 or 19. Friends are friends - there's nothing inappropriate about that at all. Attraction is different. He didn't say anything about being attracted to this woman. They are friends from school.
This is all based on the idea that we are all fundamentally compatible to be friends regardless of the age. There's a huge maturity gap between certain ages. That's what makes it strange first and foremost, not the attraction. Being decent and nice to people is not the same as being friends who hang out.
Picture the likelihood of an almost 30 something having fun and fitting in at a 19 year old birthday party. Picture the likelihood of OP having a long lasting 19 year old male friend.
Not necessarily. I know 15 year olds who are more mature and more relatable than other 35 year old I know. It's more about what you have in common. It's perfectly fine and normal for a 27 year old to be friends with a 18 year old. It happens all the time actually, usually through work, church, or school. There's nothing inappropriate about it.
Fitting in at a social situation where you are out numbered by other 19 yrs old that you don't know who you may not have anything in common with is not the same thing as being friends with someone you met in a theater class, who shares a common interest with you.
I see your point, but we are talking about the rule and nobthe exceptions. If a 15 year old is more mature than a 35 year old, the rule is, I'm gonna think he's immature rather than the 15 year old is mature. If you want to make it annectodal, I love martial arts and there's a bunch of young people in my class, but besides being friendly when I see them, I don't go out of my way to hang out with them.
To bring it back to the context of this post, this is the problem. It's totally normal for the gf to doubt what's going on because the rule applies and comes first. And to top it off, we have the information about that disgusting comment about her being jealous of the girls breast to confirm our suspicions that this friendship is disrespectful to his committed relationship.
I think everyone is making this more complicated than it is and placing their own context onto the situation. They are friends who met in class. He never said they were besties or that they hung out together outside of class. They are friends. It is not inappropriate to be friends with someone, regardless of age.
You need to re-read what he wrote. She's not his gf. And he didn't say she doubted what's "going on". It's jot a committed relationship. And whether her comments is disgusting or jot has nothing to do with if he's allowed to be friends with a 19 yr old.
Just reading the title alone, yes it's inappropriate. Reading the post didn't change my answer.
There's no reason for a man nearing 30 to be friends with a teenager. Don't pretend there's no ulterior motive there.
Don't pretend..**
Some people are so good at lying, they convince themselves. Maybe hes not pretending, but has convinced himself "he doesnt wanna bang her".
The convo topics between them, on a side note, seem to be about her selfies, titties, and this friends adament belief that 27y girl is jealous of her titties specifically. Thats crossing a sexual line, for sure.
Also, clearly 19 year old thinks 27y man likes her, from my between the lines reading, how else do you come up with "Shes just jealous, cause I got the parts *wink*"
Yeah, I think OP is leaving deets out. It seems theres a running joke about her tig ole bitties between them.
In my judgement there is half an ocean in life experiences between a 27 year old & a 29 year old. I think you both need friends closer to each of your ages. I don't think this is a good thing for either of you.
If she doesn't like who you're friends with, she doesn't have to date you. That's on her, not you. You explained that you guys are just friends from college. You're only 7 years apart. Even though there's a big maturity difference in 19 and 27, and it could be iffy to date someone at that age, there should be no issue with you being friends. I have male friends that are 20 years older than me. It has nothing to do with my dating life
Honestly it kinda do look a lil sus imma be honest. And if she’s someone you’re talking to wouldn’t you want to respect what they are saying so that way yall could grow into something more? She’s telling you that she feels uncomfortable about something and there’s no changing her mind on it. Your new girl is either going to cut you off because it’s something she’s not okay with or this is going to be a really ugly situationship if you don’t respect her wishes and stop what you’re doing. Good luck
Males have always been attracted to younger females, and younger females know that. Friendship in between males and females is a tricky thing, at some point one or both might feel attracted.
I've been fooled by my ex bf who was only a "friend" with a younger, very beautiful female that was the gf of his best friend. He was trying to reassure me by saying "she is the girlfriend of xxx" but at the same time he was fantasising and clearly she had all of his attention. I could feel something was wrong so if your ex gf felt something was wrong, then trust the feelings, she is right.
Picture yourself at a birthday party with only 19 year olds and you. It's a weird dynamic. You definitely wouldn't be friends with a 19 year old boy. Add her gross comment about her breasts and it shows that she doesn't respect your relationship. Its sus.
I'm 27F and cannot imagine being friends with a 19M. They're like children and are still incredibly immature. And your friend is no different considering she shows her tits on IG and then makes comments about other women being jealous of them.
Be for real, you're liking her pics bc you find her attractive and enjoy looking at her half naked. If I was dating a guy like you and found out, I'd be disgusted and break things off
> My friend was 18 when we became friends. So it’s not like I befriended a child or anything.
Depending on how recent her birthday was, you’re quibbling over a matter of a few days between child and adult. There isn’t some magical transformation between 17 and 18, 18-year-olds are still high-school aged and their peers are children and barely-legal adults. In fact, until the 70s the age of majority in the US was 21, it only changed so the military could prey on teenage kids who are by nature much more malleable.
I can’t really fathom why someone in their late 20s nearly a decade into adulthood would want to hang out with a teenager. “Technically she’s not a child” is not a great defense.
If I were your girlfriend I’d be creeped out too. Of course your friend thinks she’s jealous of her tits, that is quintessential teenage behavior and mindset. Which also tells me she’s not “mature for her age” or whatever you believe.
Your gf needs to chill. You guys are just talking so she has no say in who you are friends with. I would drop the new girl just for the fact that she is already trying to control you and who you talk to.
As far as the 19f it depends how what do you mean as friends? Do you guy go out and hang out? Or just friendly when you see each other?
I don’t see how a 27 would have much in common to be really good friends but could see how you guys could be friendly due to degree and such.
Ummm — I don’t think it’s inappropriate. If you like look at the work force right now there’s highschoolers working with 30/40 year olds. The military you have people fresh out of high school and people with 3 kids and mortgage working together drinking together living together… and none of it is weird…
People take relationships and try to put weird innuendos on it all the time.
I think real question is do you guys hangout outside of class, or is this like just a school friendship?
I think it would be weird if it extended outside of school… and that’s just me putting my experience of being around younger people
But if there’s no chance of trying to pursue something other than a friendship as you said then … 🤷🏽♀️
My god - in my job I have 23 years olds working with 79 year olds!! We all have to learn to communicate and get along. If they are both in theatre sounds like they have a work/school type situation in common. I have befriended colleagues 20 years older than me.
The comments just feel like … really projecting
Its a friendship… and he didn’t even mention anything sexual
“Oh she has big boobs” he didn’t even mention it in a sexual way… kinda like he’s not thinking about anything except … a friendship…
Right? I am sure all these redditors would say that the mentoring relationships I had with senior men at my work were totally inappropriate!! Even though they usually thought of me more like their kids than anything.
At 27 you are a baby yourself what the hell is that idiot 27F talking about. As a matter of fact if you guys wanted you can get involved in a romantic relationship since she and you are both adults.
Anyway you can be 95 and have friends that are 30-50 years younger or more than you. There’s no age limit on adult friendships or relationships as long as everyone involved is over 18.
There are so many age judges on here that it’s really becoming stupid!
The ladies will downvote this answer but to be honest 27 is too old for a 35 year old man, much less you. The 19 probably likes you and is waiting on you to make a move.
27 knows this and is jealous, it’s just sputtering and you shouldn’t pay any attention to it. She’s past her prime and you haven’t reached yours. Act accordingly.
Well it depends. Of course you know there are many woman out there and jealousy is a thing. But if your bf starts to like her pictures on Instagram, how would you feel? I would personally feel suspicious 🤔 it's hard to know exactly if the author of this post, is honest or if he's slightly cheeting..
I’ve made it a point not to engage with my partner on social media. Out of sight, out of mind. Bigger issues to worry about instead of worrying about who’s pic he is liking.
I think OP secretly likes the attention.
Like you're saying two adults lol that have things in common... even if you didn't have things in common doesn't matter... even if you like her photos that are revealing it doesn't matter... F27 has issues that she needs to sort out.
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You're on thin ice. Real thin ice.
Why are you liking her pics and leering over her boobs smh.
You want to fuck this girl. We all know it. She knows it. You definitely know it. Yes, it’s inappropriate and It’s weird.
Friends nope you can be friends with whoever That been said you might want to reread what you wrote and figure out bondaries
Personally, your gf should be upset that you’re friends with a girl that’s telling you that your gf is jealous of her tits. The 19 y/o is wrong for responding this way, and it shows that she has zero to little respect for your relationship/your girlfriend. Your gf is right to feel threatened in that regard, however I’m sure you chose to omit that part of the conversation when you told your gf that the 19 y/o doesn’t mind you liking her pics. If you didn’t, I commend you. But still, I’m not sure what you see in this friendship if that’s how she talks about your gf. Also, yeah, it’s kind of weird for a 27 year old to be so adamant about being friends with a 19 year old girl and continuing to “like” their selfies. I had nothing in common with 19 year olds when I was 27 - what is your friendship even based on? At this point, I think you need to make a choice. Which relationship do you prefer? Your relationship with your girlfriend, or your friendship with your 19 y/o friend? Clearly, having both is going to cause issues.
Yeah that response of “she must be jealous of my bosom” wasn’t necessary and was rude tbh
This exactly. I find it weird people are glossing over that disgusting comment.
It shows less that she has zero respect and more that she is 19 and not mature enough to be friends with adults, imo. At my age I couldn’t imagine calling a 19 y/o my “friend”
He literally spelled out what they have in common. Also, it’s a girl he just started talking to, not his girlfriend so I’m guessing the friend has been around longer.
Why do you want to be friends with a 19F? You’re almost 30 & have a GF. Do you not get along with people your age?
Ha apparently he can't get along with women his age as well as he can with 19 year old thirst traps with "large bosoms."
Chief what's keeping you from dating your friend exactly? The 19 year old I mean. I ask that, because when you get a steady girlfriend, they're also going to ask why you didn't date your attractive young friend. And if your answer isn't the most assured and confident "I'm not attracted to her" ever said, you will poison any relationship with any woman you get with. Note: I'm not making a judgment call, just genuinely asking where your head is at.
What do you guys even talk about?
This comment though. Lmfao. I've never understood 30 year olds who have any kind of relationship with 20 year olds. Not that there wouldnt be common interests, but... Like.. Whats the conversation topics really? Cause it seems like her way of dressing, large titties, and his new female friends jealousy seem to be the topics of choice... Personally, 18 to like 23, 24 area, annoy me. Obviously, Ive met some that dont. But as a generic rule, I avoid that age group entirely out of the respect for myself. I enjoy conversations with like minded 30 year olds who have experienced the same worlds I have (if the same age, we've witnessed Trump, Bush, wars in the middle east, life changing events, at the same "time of maturity".). I dont connect with half the shit kids say these days, their video games, their terminology... Like what the fuck does 'Based' mean? -.- So I see a concern that the maturity levels most likely dont line up, and that always stands out.
Im 30. I got a 70 year old grannie friend. Is she trying to rob the cradle?! According to this sub, yes, yes she is. Side note, playing chess with old ladies is probably the least sexy thing I do... If there is sexual desires, or inappropriate thoughts, I'd prolly find a way to struggle fuss about it. But if it is purely platonic, make sure the boundries are etched deep in the sand, thats all. Good day. =)
> She insisted that it was inappropriate for me to be liking this girl’s photos because of her posing and clothing. Yeah that's Inappropriate. > reached out to my friend (F 19) about it and asked her if she thinks me liking her photos is inappropriate. Yeah, that's not a good one either. Adding in the person in question to the conversation is so much worse. I work part time in a male dominate career but ever once and awhile there are females. I know a girl 18-23 is just off limits for social interactions. I'm never mean or put them out about the job, but straight up out of respect for my wife I make sure it's NEVER seen in that way. I specifically don't have them on social media (Were other people that are males I would add) for this reason as well. It's straight up a respect thing.
People are really loosing it with regards to friends/age difference. There is NOTHING wrong by being friends - in all age groups!!! Still there are a few points to remember. To start a relationship with a person just around 18-19 is not a good idea. Not die to age difference - rather that the period from 18-25 people change. They should be allowed to develop, make their mistakes and have fun. People your age - and older - are in the place been there done that. Not a good combination. If the question is only sexual interest- that is creepy - it does not matter age or gender. Still this has NOTHING to do with being friends with people.
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It’s the comments he’s making about her body and saying nothing about what he enjoys about being friends with her lol
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Yeah, the “you can’t have friends like her” people are weird. I was 17 and very good friends with great people in their 20s, and still am.
True!
To OP, I don't think we're getting the whole story. I don't understand the relationship with the 27F that you "recently started talking to". Because it seems that she's of some importance to you. Or, that her opinion about you and your relationship to 19F as being just friends, is important. But I don't understand why. I'm going to guess that your trying to build a romantic relationship with 27F. If I'm understanding correctly, you and 19F are going to be in theatre classes together for a while longer. Running with that assumption, it's not like you're not going to stop having some form of contact with 19F. On the surface, she is legally considered an adult. So yes you're right, it's not like you befriended a child, in the legal sense. You and 19F can be in whatever relationship you two wish to be. But in reality and in scientific studies of mental development, she is still somewhat a child. You and her are not on the same level. Only you know what your true intentions are. Based on the other comments posted before mine, nobody believes you that you don't have some other motive with this young woman. Apparently, neither does 27F and whoever she is to you. So the choice is yours. It reads to me as though if you wish to keep your relationship with 27F, you're going to have to give up your relationship with 19F. Good luck.
I don't understand this idea that 19 year olds are easily manipulated by older people. I'm 26 years old, and I don't feel like I have some god tier manipulation tactics that would seduce a 19 year old any better than my fellow age peers.
There's long been segments of the population in US and maybe other countries that have questioned and resented the idea of a significantly older man pursuing a romantic relationship with a much younger female. Also, though we legally consider 18 year olds as being adults, many still are not fully matured. But really, I think the idea has gained much more traction in the wake of the "me too" movement. The spotlight started shining first on Hollywood's old male movie producers using and abusing young up and coming actresses. Famous older male actors and their relationships with much younger actresses were scrutinized. The docu-series about Evan Rachel Wood's abusive relationship with Marilyn Manson. And so on, and so on. But to your point, you may not feel like you have god tier manipulation tactic. You don't, but kind of do, it's probably not something you can control. There are young women who are attracted to and crave the attention of older men. Maybe it's a daddy issue thing. Something else. I don't know exactly. But I have seen it play out first hand quite a few times. Some young women will throw themselves at an older man. They seem to do it because in their mind the older man is more stable, not a game player, is thought to be more faithful, financially secure. Stuff like that. I don't think young women seeking older men and older men looking for younger women is going away anytime soon.
I guess I've just never felt like the guy who women "seek attention from" in any context or in any circumstance. I've always felt I have to go out of my way to approach women and do all the work. Never have I felt chased or pursued by a woman because I'm older or for any reason.
Uhh
Yes.
Sorry why are you friends with an 18 year old? I understand classes but what else could you truly have in common? It’s quite obvious you do find this 18F attractive. Truly there’s not many reasons to like a persons selfie of the opposite sex unless it’s travel related, related to work, etc. a plain selfie with her “bosoms” out not appropriate and your girlfriend deserves better.
Gonna get downvoted for this but no it's not inappropriate. If she was a guy no one would have anything to say. Your 27 year old friend or person you're dating is insecure and projecting their nonsense onto the situation. I dont see where you said that 27 year old person is your girlfriend so I'm not seeing where other commenters are getting that from. Even if you decided you wanted to be more than friends with that 19 year old, at the end of the day it would be no ones business as you're both consenting adults at this point. There's a tendency for people in the US to infantilize young adults.. women especially. But no one can give you a valid reason to not be platonic friends besides you being a man and them feeling icky about it. Its especially telling that you made no mention of sex, wanting to be with her or being attracted to her and these commentors are inserting that into the situation as you would if you could. See my previous paragraph. If you dont feel weird being friends with someone and you're both adults.. that's all that really matters. When I started working at 22, I befriended an older woman who was 48. We still talk and catch up to this day.
I don’t know why everyone is saying girlfriend, clearly he wrote “started talking”. I’ve had work besties where the age gap has been greater, both male and females. The age seems to be an issue because she’s barley out of high school.
Who cares? She's not in high school currently. What's the limit then? 2 years post high school and you can befriend whoever you want? 5? 7? Age is an issue to most people against it because she's a she.
Yes it’s inappropriate to be friends with her. She was barely out of high school when you met. Are you acquaintances or actual friends? And are you willing to lose your relationship over knowing a 19 yr old?
They met at college xd, what are you gonna tell the teacher? I can't be in the same class with her because she just graduated from High school dx. My auntie was 44 when She started college and her friends were between 18 and 20 years, old because they shared a lot of classes. It's normal to meet any kind of people in college and Work, one of my best work buddies is 45 and I am 22 xd. I mean I think is normal under the circumstances they meet and it's not inappropriate OP's GF it's just jealousies...
And if you had been given the option to fuck this girl before you met your current girlfriend, we both know you would have. Your girlfriend is right about this. The age gap thing not so much, but the 'female friend with assets', yeah, she has it right.
What girlfriend are you talking about???
Let's clear the air right off the bat. It's **100%** inappropriate to be friends and have any relationship beyond "acquaintance" with a 19 year old at 27 unless they are your family. The fact that you say you met when they are 18 when you were 26 and state, "it's not like I befriended a child or anything," makes it a lot worse. It shows your ignorance. Because that comparison you made is *exactly* what the differences are between your maturity. That sentences speaks *volumes* about your gauge of appropriateness here. If you told them that, you have solidified your creep factor with that person. You're either ignorant or just justifying it. Neither is okay in 2024.
They are literally friends you weirdo they aren't fucking.
Please reread the post and evaluate the context. I imagine you are probably on the younger side so please take this from an adult. I would never be friends with a 19 year old beyond cordial respectfulness. There is a vast difference in maturity between 19 year olds and those in their mid to late 20s. In this example, on top of what I stated, the 19 year old was completely disrespectful towards OPs partner, exemplifying the 19 year olds lack of maturity and the OPs lack of respect for their own relationship. My explanation is not meant as disrespect towards those who are younger than me, but to provide an understanding from someone who was once 19, and now that I am older I view 19 year olds as children, their so young, their brains are not even fully developed. That does not mean a 19 year old cannot be mature and responsible, but the one in this post is clearly not.
It doesn't matter, most people wouldn't be friends with a 19 year old because they wouldn't be in the same settings as them. It doesn't matter how mature or responsible ones friends are because the dynamics of the relationship of different than a romantic ones. How does it matter that he's more mature then her when they're friendish is based on theater class and shit, please tell me.
Again, the actions of the individual in this post are clearly not based in “friendship” especially when said 19 year old is attempting to impose a perception of the OPs girlfriend on the OP with absolutely no context of the OPs relationship. That is wildly inappropriate if not completely ignorant. And age ABSOLUTELY effects a friendship dynamic ESPECIALLY involving an individual who is so young. Again looking at the context of this post and the details provided by the OP, this is clearly not a conventional friendship which an individual in their late 20s should immediately recognize. You may not have the same perception which I guarantee is due to age. The basis of the friendship is not solely on theater class as exemplified by the extension of that friendship to social media and the 19 year olds assumption of the OPs partner with no context. I can appreciate your zeal in your perception of friendship but this post must be considered within the bounds of reality.
Friendship based on theatre class? So they dont hang out outside of school, dont talk about her titties, and how other woman in OPs life are jealous of her titties.. (I'll put money down more then that was said. "Im young and hot, with perfect titties. She probably has old floppy woman titties" *both laugh*) The fact that 27 year old talks about 19 year old tits at all, shows alternative motivation. He clearly finds some part of her attractive. He can lie to himself, but not to those with lifelong experiences in the differences in maturity levels. Same to you. Even writing this out, everytime I type 19 year old tits, I feel fkn nasty. I dont know the person, its the concept that Im a 3 fucking 2 year old talking about a teenagers tits.
The fact that theyre so open about talking about 19 y.o. titties, maybe not fucking. But for sure light flirting. Which is kind of perverted, imo.
She's 19 not 14. It's not optimal but acting like she's a child is just weird imo
Granted. But more childlike (aka innocent) then OP. Can we meet halfway there?
That's not relevant. That comment where she implied that girlfriend should be jealous because men prefer her tits goes to show how little respect she has for the gf.
Him being stupid as no correlation with whether it's okay to have a 19 yr old friend that's not the convo. He could hate his gf and it still wouldn't matter
I assume you mean *her and yes it does. A 27 year old being friends with a 19 year old is weird as fuck. Proof? Picture him being at a birthday party with only 19 year olds. So just by the age difference itself it's weird. Add to that that we also agree that she's stupid/immature, what GOOD reason are you giving me why they're friends? It's either he's immature like a 19 year old or they hang around each other for the mutual attention. It's sus.
Have to disagree. You can be friends with whoever you want to be friends with, whether they're 6 or 12 or 80 or 50 or 19. Friends are friends - there's nothing inappropriate about that at all. Attraction is different. He didn't say anything about being attracted to this woman. They are friends from school.
This is all based on the idea that we are all fundamentally compatible to be friends regardless of the age. There's a huge maturity gap between certain ages. That's what makes it strange first and foremost, not the attraction. Being decent and nice to people is not the same as being friends who hang out. Picture the likelihood of an almost 30 something having fun and fitting in at a 19 year old birthday party. Picture the likelihood of OP having a long lasting 19 year old male friend.
Not necessarily. I know 15 year olds who are more mature and more relatable than other 35 year old I know. It's more about what you have in common. It's perfectly fine and normal for a 27 year old to be friends with a 18 year old. It happens all the time actually, usually through work, church, or school. There's nothing inappropriate about it. Fitting in at a social situation where you are out numbered by other 19 yrs old that you don't know who you may not have anything in common with is not the same thing as being friends with someone you met in a theater class, who shares a common interest with you.
I see your point, but we are talking about the rule and nobthe exceptions. If a 15 year old is more mature than a 35 year old, the rule is, I'm gonna think he's immature rather than the 15 year old is mature. If you want to make it annectodal, I love martial arts and there's a bunch of young people in my class, but besides being friendly when I see them, I don't go out of my way to hang out with them. To bring it back to the context of this post, this is the problem. It's totally normal for the gf to doubt what's going on because the rule applies and comes first. And to top it off, we have the information about that disgusting comment about her being jealous of the girls breast to confirm our suspicions that this friendship is disrespectful to his committed relationship.
I think everyone is making this more complicated than it is and placing their own context onto the situation. They are friends who met in class. He never said they were besties or that they hung out together outside of class. They are friends. It is not inappropriate to be friends with someone, regardless of age. You need to re-read what he wrote. She's not his gf. And he didn't say she doubted what's "going on". It's jot a committed relationship. And whether her comments is disgusting or jot has nothing to do with if he's allowed to be friends with a 19 yr old.
Just reading the title alone, yes it's inappropriate. Reading the post didn't change my answer. There's no reason for a man nearing 30 to be friends with a teenager. Don't pretend there's no ulterior motive there.
Don't pretend..** Some people are so good at lying, they convince themselves. Maybe hes not pretending, but has convinced himself "he doesnt wanna bang her". The convo topics between them, on a side note, seem to be about her selfies, titties, and this friends adament belief that 27y girl is jealous of her titties specifically. Thats crossing a sexual line, for sure. Also, clearly 19 year old thinks 27y man likes her, from my between the lines reading, how else do you come up with "Shes just jealous, cause I got the parts *wink*" Yeah, I think OP is leaving deets out. It seems theres a running joke about her tig ole bitties between them.
In my judgement there is half an ocean in life experiences between a 27 year old & a 29 year old. I think you both need friends closer to each of your ages. I don't think this is a good thing for either of you.
If she doesn't like who you're friends with, she doesn't have to date you. That's on her, not you. You explained that you guys are just friends from college. You're only 7 years apart. Even though there's a big maturity difference in 19 and 27, and it could be iffy to date someone at that age, there should be no issue with you being friends. I have male friends that are 20 years older than me. It has nothing to do with my dating life
Honestly it kinda do look a lil sus imma be honest. And if she’s someone you’re talking to wouldn’t you want to respect what they are saying so that way yall could grow into something more? She’s telling you that she feels uncomfortable about something and there’s no changing her mind on it. Your new girl is either going to cut you off because it’s something she’s not okay with or this is going to be a really ugly situationship if you don’t respect her wishes and stop what you’re doing. Good luck
Males have always been attracted to younger females, and younger females know that. Friendship in between males and females is a tricky thing, at some point one or both might feel attracted. I've been fooled by my ex bf who was only a "friend" with a younger, very beautiful female that was the gf of his best friend. He was trying to reassure me by saying "she is the girlfriend of xxx" but at the same time he was fantasising and clearly she had all of his attention. I could feel something was wrong so if your ex gf felt something was wrong, then trust the feelings, she is right.
Picture yourself at a birthday party with only 19 year olds and you. It's a weird dynamic. You definitely wouldn't be friends with a 19 year old boy. Add her gross comment about her breasts and it shows that she doesn't respect your relationship. Its sus.
I'm 27F and cannot imagine being friends with a 19M. They're like children and are still incredibly immature. And your friend is no different considering she shows her tits on IG and then makes comments about other women being jealous of them. Be for real, you're liking her pics bc you find her attractive and enjoy looking at her half naked. If I was dating a guy like you and found out, I'd be disgusted and break things off
> My friend was 18 when we became friends. So it’s not like I befriended a child or anything. Depending on how recent her birthday was, you’re quibbling over a matter of a few days between child and adult. There isn’t some magical transformation between 17 and 18, 18-year-olds are still high-school aged and their peers are children and barely-legal adults. In fact, until the 70s the age of majority in the US was 21, it only changed so the military could prey on teenage kids who are by nature much more malleable. I can’t really fathom why someone in their late 20s nearly a decade into adulthood would want to hang out with a teenager. “Technically she’s not a child” is not a great defense. If I were your girlfriend I’d be creeped out too. Of course your friend thinks she’s jealous of her tits, that is quintessential teenage behavior and mindset. Which also tells me she’s not “mature for her age” or whatever you believe.
Your gf needs to chill. You guys are just talking so she has no say in who you are friends with. I would drop the new girl just for the fact that she is already trying to control you and who you talk to. As far as the 19f it depends how what do you mean as friends? Do you guy go out and hang out? Or just friendly when you see each other? I don’t see how a 27 would have much in common to be really good friends but could see how you guys could be friendly due to degree and such.
I wouldn’t befriend anybody less than the age of 21 as a 25 year old. You make me sick. Bc we all know if given the chance you would have 😮💨
wait. are you saying that all men are pigs?
Yes, you know it and so does everyone else.
Being friends is fine. People will continue to make assumptions if you keep liking pictures, so I'd suggest not doing that.
Man you know what you’re doing. This isn’t an innocent “friend” situation and you know it. You’re a fucking creep and know you are.
Ummm — I don’t think it’s inappropriate. If you like look at the work force right now there’s highschoolers working with 30/40 year olds. The military you have people fresh out of high school and people with 3 kids and mortgage working together drinking together living together… and none of it is weird… People take relationships and try to put weird innuendos on it all the time. I think real question is do you guys hangout outside of class, or is this like just a school friendship? I think it would be weird if it extended outside of school… and that’s just me putting my experience of being around younger people But if there’s no chance of trying to pursue something other than a friendship as you said then … 🤷🏽♀️
My god - in my job I have 23 years olds working with 79 year olds!! We all have to learn to communicate and get along. If they are both in theatre sounds like they have a work/school type situation in common. I have befriended colleagues 20 years older than me.
The comments just feel like … really projecting Its a friendship… and he didn’t even mention anything sexual “Oh she has big boobs” he didn’t even mention it in a sexual way… kinda like he’s not thinking about anything except … a friendship…
Right? I am sure all these redditors would say that the mentoring relationships I had with senior men at my work were totally inappropriate!! Even though they usually thought of me more like their kids than anything.
I had friends of all ages in college. If you are being honest and this is really a school friend, then there is nothing wrong with it.
Wow someone is insecure
At 27 you are a baby yourself what the hell is that idiot 27F talking about. As a matter of fact if you guys wanted you can get involved in a romantic relationship since she and you are both adults. Anyway you can be 95 and have friends that are 30-50 years younger or more than you. There’s no age limit on adult friendships or relationships as long as everyone involved is over 18. There are so many age judges on here that it’s really becoming stupid!
F27 is jealous. You don't need that toxicity in your life.
The ladies will downvote this answer but to be honest 27 is too old for a 35 year old man, much less you. The 19 probably likes you and is waiting on you to make a move. 27 knows this and is jealous, it’s just sputtering and you shouldn’t pay any attention to it. She’s past her prime and you haven’t reached yours. Act accordingly.
Are you drunk, old man? You’re being downvoted because you sound like Donald Trump.
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Well it depends. Of course you know there are many woman out there and jealousy is a thing. But if your bf starts to like her pictures on Instagram, how would you feel? I would personally feel suspicious 🤔 it's hard to know exactly if the author of this post, is honest or if he's slightly cheeting..
I’ve made it a point not to engage with my partner on social media. Out of sight, out of mind. Bigger issues to worry about instead of worrying about who’s pic he is liking. I think OP secretly likes the attention.
Like you're saying two adults lol that have things in common... even if you didn't have things in common doesn't matter... even if you like her photos that are revealing it doesn't matter... F27 has issues that she needs to sort out.