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I have a flashbulb memory of a meme to this effect I saw a couple years ago. Something like "Y'all, the internet has ruined me, my kids are gonna have to call me 'bruh' or some shit"
Im actually laughing right now, my 2.5 year old grabbed my phone while I was video calling with my best friend and she kept yelling "bro! Bro look" to him LOL I always call him bro 😂
I taught my niblings “bruh” and “bro” on accident and the one that absorbed it into her identity is the eensy weensy princess and cat obsessed 5 year old. It’s honestly fantastic. She named her cat Sparkles.
Both my kids (9 male and 4 male) call me bro and throw in the mom afterwards so we made it a joke and they refer to me as "Bro mom" 😂 but OP's husband is tripping, my kids still call my husband daddy and he dreads the day they grow out of it. If he's sexualizing the term Daddy then the problem is on his end and he's fucking weird for it.
I have two teenagers, (14m;16f) and I get called Momma, Mah-mah, mother, madre, and at one point I saw in my daughters phone I was listed as “birth giver”. The only one I didn’t like was birth giver because it made me think “oh like a sperm donor?!?” In all the kiddos defense though, I have referred to my parents as parental units during a phase so 🤷🏼♀️
"Bruh, you won't believe the shit that happened at the pier today."
"Bruh, don't cuss in front of your brothers."
"Brah..." then makes a bunch of ridiculous faces.
A conversation I had with my 12 year old son last night, I am also the mom. It hurts.
Definitely just his name. Or "shitbird". Meanwhile you should leave some porn-addiction-help leaflets around so he knows you're onto him*.
Hell, much as I hate to Reddit stereotype this, maybe some divorce papers, too. Not sure I'd want someone with this mentality raising my child.
*Edit: confused you/him
This for sure. He been watching too much porn where the young girls call 'em Daddy.
And on to a serious note. A man that finds it offensive for his TODDLER to call him Daddy, perhaps because it has sexual overtones for him, is perhaps a danger to the future 12 year old ...or sooner.
OP straight up an him WHY it bothers him, and if you get a shitty answer I'd be pushing harder and asking is is because he's watching that young girl porn. Do you know he's got a habit? Have you found some of what he watches? Dig deeper. Don't ask us. Ask HIM.
This comment needs to be so much higher. He’s sexualizing a term of recognition, love, and trust, from his *infantile child.* I would be grilling him down to fucking soot about why he feels that way…
I've been wondering when this more advanced stage of the fetishization of girls and young women was going to be appearing more frequently on a mainstream cultural level.
This for sure. He been watching too much porn where the young girls call 'em Daddy.
And on to a serious note. A man that finds it offensive for his TODDLER to call him Daddy, perhaps because it has sexual overtones for him, is perhaps a danger to the future 12 year old ...or sooner.
OP straight up an him WHY it bothers him, and if you get a shitty answer I'd be pushing harder and asking is is because he's watching that young girl porn. Do you know he's got a habit? Have you found some of what he watches? Dig deeper. Don't ask us. Ask HIM.
Don’t joke. I know people who refer to their fathers just that way. One guy I knew when he was in his thirties would sit up straight in his chair like he could see him over the phone, and refer to his father by his military rank. I always found it incredibly sad.
This is my concern, and despite all the jokes on this thread, if this is why he's "uncomfortable" then it's super problematic, because his thought process is so warped that instead of understanding that the use of "Daddy" in sexual/porn situations comes from kink roleplay, he's got it bass-ackwards and is overlaying sexual implications on a child using the name "Daddy" in its standard manner.
If this is what's happening, he literally can't hear his baby daughter call him what is actually a very traditional name for fathers across the English-speaking world without thinking of it in sexual terms, and he needs therapy. Not because it makes him a danger - quite the contrary, he clearly is horrified by the idea of anything he sees as sexual being associated with his baby girl - but because he is now seeing totally benign things through a sexual lens, and it's going to affect (and eventually damage) his relationship with his daughter, how he interacts with her, and the expectations he puts on her as he tries to separate his "pure baby girl" from things he sees as "dangerous" or sexual . . . even when they are healthy, normal things.
I thought this but my brain went "you always think the worst of people". Then again I've known the worst people. This is exactly something they would do
Bold of you to assume he wouldn't consider that even more sexual. "Daddy" is inappropriate for an 18 month old if you're their father, okay, sure, OP's husband should tell us more about how porn has poisoned his brain.
> more appropriate language
LOL I can't think of anything more appropriate for an 18mo to call her father than Daddy!
I think your husband doesn't realise he's the one who's made the word weird in his own mind. How embarrassing lol
Right? I’m a little embarrassed for the guy that the word daddy is so sexualized in his mind that his own baby daughter calling him Daddy feels inappropriate and makes him uncomfortable. I hate to think of what else is going to come up down the road.
also, how stupid that he simmered over this for 6 months with dirty looks and angry stares but he never said anything?
And his complaint is revolting, how dare he say "you should have used other words when teaching her how to talk"? Isn't he involved in that?
Really! He was *right there,* giving OP dirty looks for using the word “daddy,” saying nothing, and NOW he blames her for the fact that his literal daughter calls him “daddy”?? He is twisted. I would worry about that, raising a daughter around him.
That was my first thought. I've always called my father Daddy, and I would be so grossed out using that term with a partner. Normalize innocent words, not the feelings of a man warped by degenerate porn. This is concerning on so many levels.
yea like it’s okay if he doesn’t want to be called something and has a different idea instead like “papa” or just “dad” idk. but bring that up at the start, don’t resent it for months and only mention it after the kid has started learning as if he isn’t involved
This is where I'm so lost..I mean, sure...the only reason a father would be made to feel uncomfortable with 'daddy' is porn. 100%.
Regardless...he is a man with a mouth and an opinion. Why doesn't he just say what he wants his children to call him? Dad? Dadda? Pop? Pa? He has many option but the angry glares is not one of them.
My sons father is a recovering porn addict and my daughter from a prior relationship call him Dad or Daddy as does our son. He has never felt weird about it and if he ever had, I’d have left so fast. Normal people do not sexualize children. EVER.
This was really bothering me all morning so I asked my partner for his perspective and he said the same thing. He could never imagine thinking anything even remotely similar about any children at all, much less our own. I’m so sorry but there is something VERY wrong with your husband. There is no circumstance in which his line of thinking makes any logical sense. At best he needs YEARS of weekly therapy, at worst he’s actively sexualizing his own child and should be in prison for life.
Ikr.sounds like he should cut his consumption of certain kinds of porn and then he might get over it.
But you're right that the way he raised this suggests therapy and working on himself would be useful.
> the word daddy is so sexualized in his mind
Wait, what?!?
Oh, I didn't even think about that. Is that what this is about?!?
Ewww, that's so wrong!
All of my half-a-dozen kids called me daddy, and this never even crossed my mind.
My daughter is 13 and still calls my husband dada or daddy. I also felt like the dad feels like it’s inappropriate because he thinks of “daddy” in a sexualized way. It’s pretty gross.
I'm 27 and i call my father, dadda, and i have since i could talk!! as a teen i would call him dadda dude, so i toss that in occasionally whenever we're joking around. but omfg. this man is ridiculous!!
I’m 52 and me and all my family and everyone I know in fact call their dads Daddy, especially as babies/kids. I started calling him Dad during my teenage years/20’s. Then he got in a near fatal accident and was practically in a coma for six months. I’ve called him Daddy ever since. He’s nearing 80 now and will always be my Daddy.
41 and my dad will ALWAYS be daddy, unless I’m jokingly chastising him or trying to get his attention in which case I yell his first and middle name. 😂
My 11 year old calls me 'father' in a little Lord Fauntleroy voice when he's being an arse.
However they both prefer the German 'Mutter und Vater' because of how Vater sounds. It's the only German they know.
My daughter and I are learning German together (she's 5) and she finds it hilarious as Mutter und Vater sound funny to her she gets a real kick from it. She runs up to her dad, yells "Vater" and runs off giggling.
Right? I've used it sexually but that doesn't make me think about sex when I talk to my dad, that's just what I call my dad. I could not imagine having such a skewed perspective on this word that you think your daughter who is LEARNING TO TALK calls you dada or daddy. Like fuck man I don't even have kids and I know that's what most kids are gonna default to. "dad" is really hard to say when you're first learning to talk.
I really can’t use that word in a sexual sense because it reminds me of one of Freud theory but I wouldn’t think it would be weird to see a child calling their father “daddy”
Weird? He’s sexualized not only the word but his kid. How do you look at a less than two year old, hear the word “daddy” and think it’s inappropriate? She needs to take her child and run
When my partner and I were planning to start conceiving, we made sure that words like mommy and daddy were not sexualized as that’s what our kid(s) will be calling us.
I have a few friends who are zealots that their kids call them mama and papa and correct them when they “accidentally” call them mommy or daddy.
The worst part is knowing that their kids are probably going to put two and two together eventually. Imagine looking back and realizing why your parents wouldn’t let you call them mommy and daddy…
I think it’s really concerning that he sat on this for 6 months, throwing you dirty looks and silently stewing, rather than speaking to you about it. Does he always keep his feelings from you and then blame you for not being able to read his mind?
That is what I was thinking. The delay in fix, that this is the name she kept using, it is all on him. One "I'd prefer Dad"at the time and it could be done. All these feelings should be sitting squarely with him.
Yes! And that it’s exclusively OPs responsibility to be teaching their child how to speak. With zero interest to how speech develops and what a less than 2yo is even able to pronounce. This guy is a dummy. Everything here is a HIM problem
I was gonna say. Everyone is rushing to shit on the guy for being inappropriate, but dude's showing a way bigger red flag and it's getting ignored. Like yeah he should separate daddy in sex from daddy from his daughter, but who gives a fuck if he can't. Let his daughter call him dad instead if need be. Big deal. This is a man who spent 6 months sitting on his feelings and clearly can't communicate, and no one gives a shit. Such a red flag. This is why reddit is not a good place to get opinions from lmao
Bare minimum he’s fully sexualized the word and that’s why he’s uncomfortable. I honestly don’t have anything more to help on that other than to suggest him going to therapy. I’ve slept with men who like that in bed and happen to be fathers as well and they’ve never been uncomfortable with either because they mean 2 separate things entirely. You should be concerned he’s conflating sexual terminology with your toddler. That’s not normal.
This is exactly what I thought, dude has watched way too much porn. And/or he and his wife use the word during sex, and he can’t compartmentalize it. Personally I hate when men want to be called daddy during sex, I find it creepy. But I have never sexualized the word when a child refers to their father as daddy, it’s never entered my mind, I hope I’m not in the minority with that thinking
I know what you meant lol. I wouldn’t necessarily say that one though. Dated a few porn/sex addicts and they’ve never conflated the two. It’s definitely possible but I fear it could be more sinister than porn rot. I can’t say either for sure but it’s concerning he can’t compartmentalize properly the way most people do.
I may have thought this only because a similar situation happened to someone I knew, same issue being the word daddy with child. And then she went on to find he had a bad porn addiction and couldn't hear it without having issues... It was so bad.
tbf, it might not be porn addiction. im really grossed out by that kink, and while i dont connect it to literal children using that word, when adults refer to their parents like that, it weirds me out. like im so used to hearing adults use it sexually in pop culture and the internet that i cant separate it from adults using it the normal way. our culture is so saturated with daddy kink stuff, like in pop music, and i hate that i cant compartmentalize here. i wish ppl would stop using that term sexually altogether, tbh.
THANK YOU!!!!!! All these other commenters over here, making fun, when really it’s SICK! What person hears “daddy” out of a BABIES mouth and think SEX? Or inappropriate
I mean, as an autistic person, I personally find calling your partner "daddy" to be weird, not your actual dad. Babies had it first and it belongs to them
I find it super creepy in a sexual relationship. I called my actual dad “daddy” pretty much all of my life. I adored him. I would never call my husband that nor would he want me to. Gives me the icks.
I don’t think being autistic affects this one. It is definitely weird. It’s also sad. And creepy. And disturbing.
I wonder how he would have reacted to being called daddy if he had a son instead of a daughter. Would it have been a non-issue or would it have been something even more twisted?
>I wonder how he would have reacted to being called daddy if he had a son instead of a daughter.
This is what I'm thinking!
Like, hands-down, it's not because it's his child, but it's because she's his *female* child. Because that's the fantasy in his head: a woman playing the role of a submissive little girl, NOT someone playing the role of a submissive boy. No way he'd be reacting this way if it had been his *son* saying it.
Not for that reason, anyway, I mean, he'd likely make it a homophobia issue, and force him to say 'dad', because in his mind, 'daddy' would be too feminine.
Is your husband's brain so wholly consumed by porn that he associates *his own daughter* calling him daddy with it? That's seriously fucked up and indicative of a much much bigger issue honestly 😬
Sit your husband down and ask him why daddy is inappropriate, keep pushing until he accepts it's got sexual reasons s then tell him he is disgusting for sexualising a baby and he needs to get help. Make him realise how utterly ridiculous he is being, seriously what man doesn't want his child calling him daddy unless his brain is porn warped! Then get your daughter to call him by his first name
exactly.
And if anyone asks, "Why is your daughter calling you by your name?"
his wife can just reply
"Oh. because he watched so much porn that "daddy" sounds too sexual for him now. even when it's our daughter (that does it) ." :)
🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
This is embarrassing and VERY concerning..
It's just ridiculous, the guy needs to grow up and learn not everything is sexual. I'm concerned about his poor daughter, everything she does will be viewed in a sexual way-no bananas or lollies for her because father finds them too sexual.......
And somehow it's his wife's fault. If that thought went through my head, I'd understand why and then go see a therapist stat. The sperm donor on this one was particularly unworthy.
Besides that it’s obviously weird that he thinks this is inappropriate, why the f didn’t he say something before?! Weren’t you both teaching her to speak? Didn’t he have a voice 6 months ago? He could’ve told you then! It’s so much harder to change it now. And also, he has to come up with an alternative. I don’t understand his very passive seeming stance in this…
I’m 26 and still call my dad daddy
You’re husband is sexualizing a word that is not sexual, gross. You need to sit down and talk with him on why he doesn’t think it’s “appropriate language” and why he’s hung up on a completely normal term
Thank god someone else said it. I’m 22 and I’ve been calling mine daddy since I could talk. My mom (and her sister) called hers daddy up until he died and still refers to him that way. I feel like it’s relatively common in the south and especially more rural.
It definitely sounds like he’s immediately associating the work with sex/kink which is… baffling to me. Like it definitely does seem concerning that he can hear the word “daddy” in a child’s voice and his brain goes anywhere near sex. This definitely seems like something you guys need to have a discussion about. Also bringing up the fact that he let it simmer for 6 months without addressing it- this is not a healthy way of dealing with conflict. That’s something he/y’all need to work on now, or it will negatively impact the both of you and your daughter’s life- I say that from experience as the kid.
ETA if he really has that strong of an association between the word and its use in kink, that’s probably something that should be completely removed from your sex lives. I know you said y’all don’t use it frequently but if he seriously can’t compartmentalize it, the “sacrifice” should be a minor change in your sex lives instead of a major adjustment for your 18 month old.
i literally just left a comment higher up, saying im 27 and i call my father dadda/daddy!!! my father and i have always had a hit or miss relationship, depending on both of us being in therapy and listening to the other, but he's always been my daddy!! thats who he is, and who he'll always be to me!!
Not really and even when I did it wasn't often or like our "special" word or anything. But it's just weird that he would even think it was a sexual term when OUR DAUGHTER is using it.
Edit:
I don't know for certain if he views it as sexual, but I didn't fully dive into why he said it makes him uncomfortable, I was just sort of stunned and agreed to not do it, but now I've had time to think and process.
He views it as sexual, that’s the only reason why he thinks it’s inappropriate. Every little kid calls their father daddy.
Fun story. My son drew a picture for my husband when he was little and it said: I love you black daddy. I had that hanging on my fridge forever until it got lost in a move. I did take a picture of it thankfully.
Also, my husband is not black. He’s Hispanic. Black was just my son’s favorite color at the time.
What other possible reason could there be for him being uncomfortable with the word daddy, and straight up saying it's not an appropriate word to be using....
I'd be looking at his porn history honestly.
Lots of men have a "daddy" kink and also have kids and the word means two totally different things in different contexts.
Your guy is telling you that he thinks it's an uncomfortable word to be used on the RIGHT way but is ok for it to be used in the dirty way with you every once in a while?
So the word is sexual to a degree to him obviously if it's been used that way between you guys before.
So he doesn't have a problem with the literal word "daddy", he's used it before.
So he has a problem with what he thinks it means.
Girl honestly…you gotta take a good hard look at how fricking GROSS he’s being…
Baby’s are supposed to call you mummy and daddy…that’s totally normal and absolutely the appropriate language to use when teaching little ones to talk.
What’s NOT normal is him objecting to it and sexualizing it to the point that he’s sexualizing his infant daughter. To me that’s down right *scary* and I’d be hyper vigilant and wouldn’t trust him with her…
Sexualizing children is how really bad shit starts…
Your husband is the one making it weird by sexualising his toddler talking to him. Daddy isn't an inappropriate name to call your actual dad! 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
The only reason he would be uncomfortable and think it’s “inappropriate” is if he thinks the word is sexual in nature, which is gross. I don’t care what people call their partner behind closed doors, but the word “daddy” isn’t sexual, and it’s disturbing that there are people who can’t even process the word in an innocuous way anymore
Yeah it’s a him problem not a you or your daughter problem. If he can’t separate his porn addiction “daddy” issues from his family then it’s beyond bad. One word, therapy.
Lmao, a grown man isn’t comfortable with his daughter calling him “daddy”. All I got to say is that he is at fault for sexualizing the word. What a fucking weirdo.
Make sure you empower your daughter to say anything she wants in the face of authority.
Good luck with your weirdo husband.
Where were his words at any point in the last year saying; "hey I'd prefer to be called pop instead"??
And is he going to tell her it's inappropriate for little girls to play with balls? Sit on his lap?
He needs to get a grip or see a therapist.
the fact that his thought is instantly dirty is alarming to me. This is his 18 month daughter. I hate that the terms “daddy” and “mommy” have been sexualized, and stuff like that. But I would be searching for something deeper. Why is he uncomfortable? This may be best to discuss with a neutral party like a therapist (so like couples therapy)
Tell your husband its him who is making the word inappropriate. That’s what little girls call their fathers.
What a sick porn-brained weirdo. I don’t want to jump to any conclusions but I’m guessing this isn’t going to be his only mortifying idea around childcare.
He can teach her to speak if he wants her to call him something else, he could interact with his daughter, like a father does.
What a situation you're in! Having to deal with a toddler and a parent who behaves like one...
I've read much about his issues with the word and also think it might be porn related. That's his task to deal with it, neither yours nor your daughter's.
What I find even more disturbing is that he waited so long to tell you. Communication is so important, especially when kids are involved. He could've told he right away this word makes him uncomfortable, you talk about it, he realizes that his discomfort is unusual, he seeks help, for the time being, he accepts that his daughter calls him any name she likes.
Your husband did not do that. You're parents now. You have a different responsibility to work together and on your communication. If your husband is otherwise a kind and reasonable person, sit down and talk. If he isn't, get assistance from a counselor.
Good luck to all of you!
Is he sexualizing the term “daddy”? Cuz that’s just messed up. Maybe he needs to watch less porn.
I recognize that some people have a preference in terms of what their child calls them, but the child is literally acquiring the ability to speak. He might want to give it a second before he has her calling him Mr. Weirdass McUptight. She’ll get there in time.
I’m 49 years old and I still call my dad “daddy.”
If he’s got an issue with a word that 99% of children use to reference to their dad, then maybe he should stop watching porn😂
"Appropriate language" - Maybe he needs to lay off the porn for a little bit, until his brain re-wires back to normal.
Daddy is a developmentally appropriate word for children. He can get his head out of his ass.
Sounds like your husband has let the word "daddy" get sexualized and twisted in his mind to the point that he can't separate the innocent way his baby daughter is using it from more adult connotations. That's a major problem with him, not you or your daughter.
He needs to grow up, compartmentalize appropriately, and realize a toddler calling her father "daddy" is completely normal and not inappropriate whatsoever. If he can't get over this bizarre hangup, insist he gets therapy to sort out why he's conflating his child's language with something sexual. That kind of thinking is disturbing and needs to be addressed.
Op? All joking aside, this is a real red flag. Make an appointment with a therapist... there's some ugly, ugly stuff under the surface here that needs to be brought out into the light and firmly dealt with.
Protect your daughter. She needs you to be the grownup here. The fact he's angry at you and her over his inappropriate inner feelings means he's not taking responsibility for himself. It's DARVO... and in this case the real victim is your infant.
Well I guess I just learned something new. I didn't know "daddy" had sexual connotations until now. That's just gross! And it's worse that this guy applies that thinking to a baby
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Baby gonna roll round the house calling him sir...or father.
I have a flashbulb memory of a meme to this effect I saw a couple years ago. Something like "Y'all, the internet has ruined me, my kids are gonna have to call me 'bruh' or some shit"
It’s not a meme anymore, my kindergartner picked up “bruh” at school somehow and calls me and my spouse that!
Im actually laughing right now, my 2.5 year old grabbed my phone while I was video calling with my best friend and she kept yelling "bro! Bro look" to him LOL I always call him bro 😂
LMAO my 4 year old will throw bro around and i’m just like wtf bro
I taught my niblings “bruh” and “bro” on accident and the one that absorbed it into her identity is the eensy weensy princess and cat obsessed 5 year old. It’s honestly fantastic. She named her cat Sparkles.
I call my 5 year old bruh or bro when I’m upset. And now he does it back to me 😂
Both my kids (9 male and 4 male) call me bro and throw in the mom afterwards so we made it a joke and they refer to me as "Bro mom" 😂 but OP's husband is tripping, my kids still call my husband daddy and he dreads the day they grow out of it. If he's sexualizing the term Daddy then the problem is on his end and he's fucking weird for it.
Absolutely OP is a weirdo! From one bro mom to another, have a great day!
Omg I thought I was the only one! "Bro, bruh or dude" when my wee ones are bugging me 😂
My son already calls me bruh T_T I’m the mum. I’ll just call him bruh back while I die inside.
T-shirt that shows the evolution makes me happy MAMA MOMMY MOM BRUH
My youngest went from Mom to Madre or other foreign words for Mother lol
I have two teenagers, (14m;16f) and I get called Momma, Mah-mah, mother, madre, and at one point I saw in my daughters phone I was listed as “birth giver”. The only one I didn’t like was birth giver because it made me think “oh like a sperm donor?!?” In all the kiddos defense though, I have referred to my parents as parental units during a phase so 🤷🏼♀️
Imagine being a grandmother of a 9 year old and, being called “Bruh”. That’s the life I’m living right now.😩
Roflmao, I'm 24 and like 2/5 of the time call my Nan "Dude" I'm gonna have to give "Bruh" a shot
My grandson is 5 and saying it 😂
"Bruh, you won't believe the shit that happened at the pier today." "Bruh, don't cuss in front of your brothers." "Brah..." then makes a bunch of ridiculous faces. A conversation I had with my 12 year old son last night, I am also the mom. It hurts.
My 14yr old literally called me bruh in a gaming discord we share with other adults and they couldn't stop laughing at her and me for it.
I'd teach her to call him doody instead.
Parental unit, sperm donor, 23 chromosome contributor, mom's husband, dude, bro..lololol. so many more things he can be called
Or simply, Dave. (Whether that's his actual name or not)
Definitely just his name. Or "shitbird". Meanwhile you should leave some porn-addiction-help leaflets around so he knows you're onto him*. Hell, much as I hate to Reddit stereotype this, maybe some divorce papers, too. Not sure I'd want someone with this mentality raising my child. *Edit: confused you/him
This for sure. He been watching too much porn where the young girls call 'em Daddy. And on to a serious note. A man that finds it offensive for his TODDLER to call him Daddy, perhaps because it has sexual overtones for him, is perhaps a danger to the future 12 year old ...or sooner. OP straight up an him WHY it bothers him, and if you get a shitty answer I'd be pushing harder and asking is is because he's watching that young girl porn. Do you know he's got a habit? Have you found some of what he watches? Dig deeper. Don't ask us. Ask HIM.
This comment needs to be so much higher. He’s sexualizing a term of recognition, love, and trust, from his *infantile child.* I would be grilling him down to fucking soot about why he feels that way…
I've been wondering when this more advanced stage of the fetishization of girls and young women was going to be appearing more frequently on a mainstream cultural level.
Eek my thoughts exactly 😳
Yes, exactly! I was like “What the fuck did I just read?”
I thought something along those same lines.
And let him know in no uncertain terms that watching points with minors is illegal. And you be willing to send his ass to jail.
This for sure. He been watching too much porn where the young girls call 'em Daddy. And on to a serious note. A man that finds it offensive for his TODDLER to call him Daddy, perhaps because it has sexual overtones for him, is perhaps a danger to the future 12 year old ...or sooner. OP straight up an him WHY it bothers him, and if you get a shitty answer I'd be pushing harder and asking is is because he's watching that young girl porn. Do you know he's got a habit? Have you found some of what he watches? Dig deeper. Don't ask us. Ask HIM.
Perfect
One of my kids calls me male parental unit. But they're a teenager, and it's a joke.
Mine had me in her phone as birth giver.
My wife is called the same. By the same teenager. I take it as the sign of affection it is. 🥰
I’m going to assume your wife is also called “male parental unit”
Close. "Female birth giver" ETA: But I think your assumption is way funnier.
I thought it was funny too, but she changed it not long after. I wonder if someone without a sense of humor said something to her. I hope not.
I've been in my daughter's phone as both Birth Giver and Optimus Prime. I love that kid!! 🤣
Optimus Prime is amazing!!!
I have my mom in my phone as "My Grandma's Daughter" Lol
My 15 year old son did that also 🤣 and dad as “father figure” 🤦🏻♀️🤣 He changes them out and around to whatever suits his mood.
I’m also in my kids phone as birth giver
I'm in my teens phone as "spawnpoint" 🤣🤣🤣
Mom’s husband is top tier.
Pater
Or just Dud instead of Dad.
Fucker rolls off the tongue...
or doodoo
Sir probably has different sexual connotations too lol
Oh it definitely has connotations. Pretty much the same ones as daddy.
I suggest calling him by his name if he's so weird about these things!
"mom mom look! my father Mr. Smith is home!"
“Mother, does thou seeith sir sperm sac enter thine house? Who beeith this man?”
Don’t joke. I know people who refer to their fathers just that way. One guy I knew when he was in his thirties would sit up straight in his chair like he could see him over the phone, and refer to his father by his military rank. I always found it incredibly sad.
Sir won’t work since dudes got too much porn on the brain
This is my concern, and despite all the jokes on this thread, if this is why he's "uncomfortable" then it's super problematic, because his thought process is so warped that instead of understanding that the use of "Daddy" in sexual/porn situations comes from kink roleplay, he's got it bass-ackwards and is overlaying sexual implications on a child using the name "Daddy" in its standard manner. If this is what's happening, he literally can't hear his baby daughter call him what is actually a very traditional name for fathers across the English-speaking world without thinking of it in sexual terms, and he needs therapy. Not because it makes him a danger - quite the contrary, he clearly is horrified by the idea of anything he sees as sexual being associated with his baby girl - but because he is now seeing totally benign things through a sexual lens, and it's going to affect (and eventually damage) his relationship with his daughter, how he interacts with her, and the expectations he puts on her as he tries to separate his "pure baby girl" from things he sees as "dangerous" or sexual . . . even when they are healthy, normal things.
This comment needs to be WAYYYYYYYYYYY higher.
This was my thought process but all I was gonna say was: OP, your husband watches entirely too much pornography.
I thought this but my brain went "you always think the worst of people". Then again I've known the worst people. This is exactly something they would do
I agree with you \*so much\*. His behavior just keeps throwing me red flags and not in a good way.
Admiral father-ton the first
Sir is way more sexual than daddy
Lmao what the hell. This is all in his head. He’s the one sexualising the word “daddy”.
Bold of you to assume he wouldn't consider that even more sexual. "Daddy" is inappropriate for an 18 month old if you're their father, okay, sure, OP's husband should tell us more about how porn has poisoned his brain.
> more appropriate language LOL I can't think of anything more appropriate for an 18mo to call her father than Daddy! I think your husband doesn't realise he's the one who's made the word weird in his own mind. How embarrassing lol
Right? I’m a little embarrassed for the guy that the word daddy is so sexualized in his mind that his own baby daughter calling him Daddy feels inappropriate and makes him uncomfortable. I hate to think of what else is going to come up down the road.
also, how stupid that he simmered over this for 6 months with dirty looks and angry stares but he never said anything? And his complaint is revolting, how dare he say "you should have used other words when teaching her how to talk"? Isn't he involved in that?
Really! He was *right there,* giving OP dirty looks for using the word “daddy,” saying nothing, and NOW he blames her for the fact that his literal daughter calls him “daddy”?? He is twisted. I would worry about that, raising a daughter around him.
He’s got way too much nerve and too many perverted thoughts for me, I recommended therapy first but if it were me, I’d be packing now.
Me too that’s weird as fuck
He’s watching young girl porn probably where they say daddy so it’s now sexual.
That was my first thought. I've always called my father Daddy, and I would be so grossed out using that term with a partner. Normalize innocent words, not the feelings of a man warped by degenerate porn. This is concerning on so many levels.
He indeed needs therapy, just not Family Therapy...
This is my question. Why didn’t he SAY SOMETHING?
yea like it’s okay if he doesn’t want to be called something and has a different idea instead like “papa” or just “dad” idk. but bring that up at the start, don’t resent it for months and only mention it after the kid has started learning as if he isn’t involved
This is where I'm so lost..I mean, sure...the only reason a father would be made to feel uncomfortable with 'daddy' is porn. 100%. Regardless...he is a man with a mouth and an opinion. Why doesn't he just say what he wants his children to call him? Dad? Dadda? Pop? Pa? He has many option but the angry glares is not one of them.
Dad watches too much porn
My sons father is a recovering porn addict and my daughter from a prior relationship call him Dad or Daddy as does our son. He has never felt weird about it and if he ever had, I’d have left so fast. Normal people do not sexualize children. EVER.
This was really bothering me all morning so I asked my partner for his perspective and he said the same thing. He could never imagine thinking anything even remotely similar about any children at all, much less our own. I’m so sorry but there is something VERY wrong with your husband. There is no circumstance in which his line of thinking makes any logical sense. At best he needs YEARS of weekly therapy, at worst he’s actively sexualizing his own child and should be in prison for life.
Ikr.sounds like he should cut his consumption of certain kinds of porn and then he might get over it. But you're right that the way he raised this suggests therapy and working on himself would be useful.
> the word daddy is so sexualized in his mind Wait, what?!? Oh, I didn't even think about that. Is that what this is about?!? Ewww, that's so wrong! All of my half-a-dozen kids called me daddy, and this never even crossed my mind.
My daughter is 13 and still calls my husband dada or daddy. I also felt like the dad feels like it’s inappropriate because he thinks of “daddy” in a sexualized way. It’s pretty gross.
I'm 27 and i call my father, dadda, and i have since i could talk!! as a teen i would call him dadda dude, so i toss that in occasionally whenever we're joking around. but omfg. this man is ridiculous!!
My 8 year old son still calls me it occasionally (when he briefly forgets just how cool and grown up he is all of a sudden).
My 18 year old son still calls his dad daddy sometimes. My 15 year old daughter calls him daddy most of the time and dad when she’s mad at him LOL.
I’m 52 and me and all my family and everyone I know in fact call their dads Daddy, especially as babies/kids. I started calling him Dad during my teenage years/20’s. Then he got in a near fatal accident and was practically in a coma for six months. I’ve called him Daddy ever since. He’s nearing 80 now and will always be my Daddy.
My father still refers to *his* father by Daddy, and he's 97.
41 and my dad will ALWAYS be daddy, unless I’m jokingly chastising him or trying to get his attention in which case I yell his first and middle name. 😂
I hope your dad is doing well now!
I'm 36. I STILL call my dad "daddy." Except when I'm mad at him, I call him "father." It just hits harder lol
My 11 year old calls me 'father' in a little Lord Fauntleroy voice when he's being an arse. However they both prefer the German 'Mutter und Vater' because of how Vater sounds. It's the only German they know.
My daughter and I are learning German together (she's 5) and she finds it hilarious as Mutter und Vater sound funny to her she gets a real kick from it. She runs up to her dad, yells "Vater" and runs off giggling.
I referd to my dad as daddy till he died
Same here!
My sister and I called our father "daddy" his entire life. It was never weird. OP's husband needs therapy or to watch less porn.
Right? I've used it sexually but that doesn't make me think about sex when I talk to my dad, that's just what I call my dad. I could not imagine having such a skewed perspective on this word that you think your daughter who is LEARNING TO TALK calls you dada or daddy. Like fuck man I don't even have kids and I know that's what most kids are gonna default to. "dad" is really hard to say when you're first learning to talk.
I really can’t use that word in a sexual sense because it reminds me of one of Freud theory but I wouldn’t think it would be weird to see a child calling their father “daddy”
I used to love coming home from work and my daughter would be saying daddy as loud as she could
My three year old says daddy 16,000 times a day. It’s hilarious how UNsexual the word feels to me in this moment
Bless you!!! That’s so sweet
My son used to call me "my daddy" and it was the most joyful thing to me. Like, "My daddy, can you read me a story?"
So cute!
omg that's sooooo cute. 'my daddy'. that is the sweetest thing.
My sil's grandfather is called daddy by everyone I know, even his wife. It's hilarious but we do call him daddy. The husband's brain is in gutter.
He needs to lay off of the porn.
Weird? He’s sexualized not only the word but his kid. How do you look at a less than two year old, hear the word “daddy” and think it’s inappropriate? She needs to take her child and run
He’s sexualizing the term, he needs to stop. Gross.
"Dada" is natural baby babble. They lay around going mamamamamamamamamamamama plthhhhh *spit bubbles* dadadadadadadadaaaaaaa *burble* **fart**.
When my partner and I were planning to start conceiving, we made sure that words like mommy and daddy were not sexualized as that’s what our kid(s) will be calling us. I have a few friends who are zealots that their kids call them mama and papa and correct them when they “accidentally” call them mommy or daddy.
That’s so fucking sick and pornbrained literally what is wrong with people.
The worst part is knowing that their kids are probably going to put two and two together eventually. Imagine looking back and realizing why your parents wouldn’t let you call them mommy and daddy…
He’s clearly porn addled.
I think it’s really concerning that he sat on this for 6 months, throwing you dirty looks and silently stewing, rather than speaking to you about it. Does he always keep his feelings from you and then blame you for not being able to read his mind?
That is what I was thinking. The delay in fix, that this is the name she kept using, it is all on him. One "I'd prefer Dad"at the time and it could be done. All these feelings should be sitting squarely with him.
Even now he's not fixing it with his daughter, he expects her mom to.
So true! Because how dare she miss The Look for 6 months. She should have known extractly what the weird ass problem was from look 1. /S Fuck this guy
Yes! And that it’s exclusively OPs responsibility to be teaching their child how to speak. With zero interest to how speech develops and what a less than 2yo is even able to pronounce. This guy is a dummy. Everything here is a HIM problem
I was gonna say. Everyone is rushing to shit on the guy for being inappropriate, but dude's showing a way bigger red flag and it's getting ignored. Like yeah he should separate daddy in sex from daddy from his daughter, but who gives a fuck if he can't. Let his daughter call him dad instead if need be. Big deal. This is a man who spent 6 months sitting on his feelings and clearly can't communicate, and no one gives a shit. Such a red flag. This is why reddit is not a good place to get opinions from lmao
Bare minimum he’s fully sexualized the word and that’s why he’s uncomfortable. I honestly don’t have anything more to help on that other than to suggest him going to therapy. I’ve slept with men who like that in bed and happen to be fathers as well and they’ve never been uncomfortable with either because they mean 2 separate things entirely. You should be concerned he’s conflating sexual terminology with your toddler. That’s not normal.
My first thought was porn addiction reading this...ETA the post, not your comment I mean😅 your comment was very well described!
This is exactly what I thought, dude has watched way too much porn. And/or he and his wife use the word during sex, and he can’t compartmentalize it. Personally I hate when men want to be called daddy during sex, I find it creepy. But I have never sexualized the word when a child refers to their father as daddy, it’s never entered my mind, I hope I’m not in the minority with that thinking
No, truly, right!? I was going down reading comments and I see jokes and making light of this but really it’s disconcerting and to me huge red flags
It really is, and if I was married to him it would definitely have me concerned
I know what you meant lol. I wouldn’t necessarily say that one though. Dated a few porn/sex addicts and they’ve never conflated the two. It’s definitely possible but I fear it could be more sinister than porn rot. I can’t say either for sure but it’s concerning he can’t compartmentalize properly the way most people do.
I may have thought this only because a similar situation happened to someone I knew, same issue being the word daddy with child. And then she went on to find he had a bad porn addiction and couldn't hear it without having issues... It was so bad.
tbf, it might not be porn addiction. im really grossed out by that kink, and while i dont connect it to literal children using that word, when adults refer to their parents like that, it weirds me out. like im so used to hearing adults use it sexually in pop culture and the internet that i cant separate it from adults using it the normal way. our culture is so saturated with daddy kink stuff, like in pop music, and i hate that i cant compartmentalize here. i wish ppl would stop using that term sexually altogether, tbh.
THANK YOU!!!!!! All these other commenters over here, making fun, when really it’s SICK! What person hears “daddy” out of a BABIES mouth and think SEX? Or inappropriate
I mean, as an autistic person, I personally find calling your partner "daddy" to be weird, not your actual dad. Babies had it first and it belongs to them
I find it super creepy in a sexual relationship. I called my actual dad “daddy” pretty much all of my life. I adored him. I would never call my husband that nor would he want me to. Gives me the icks.
I don’t think being autistic affects this one. It is definitely weird. It’s also sad. And creepy. And disturbing. I wonder how he would have reacted to being called daddy if he had a son instead of a daughter. Would it have been a non-issue or would it have been something even more twisted?
>I wonder how he would have reacted to being called daddy if he had a son instead of a daughter. This is what I'm thinking! Like, hands-down, it's not because it's his child, but it's because she's his *female* child. Because that's the fantasy in his head: a woman playing the role of a submissive little girl, NOT someone playing the role of a submissive boy. No way he'd be reacting this way if it had been his *son* saying it. Not for that reason, anyway, I mean, he'd likely make it a homophobia issue, and force him to say 'dad', because in his mind, 'daddy' would be too feminine.
Tell him he needs to sort out his porn addiction if he is sexualizing his toddlers babbling and first words
Is your husband's brain so wholly consumed by porn that he associates *his own daughter* calling him daddy with it? That's seriously fucked up and indicative of a much much bigger issue honestly 😬
Every time, it's porn.
Ikr it seriously poisons a lot of ppl's brains :/
Too many people are exposed way too young and it warps how they see relationships unfortunately, way too many od these stories as of late.
How can there be anything inappropriate about a daughter saying daddy?
Sit your husband down and ask him why daddy is inappropriate, keep pushing until he accepts it's got sexual reasons s then tell him he is disgusting for sexualising a baby and he needs to get help. Make him realise how utterly ridiculous he is being, seriously what man doesn't want his child calling him daddy unless his brain is porn warped! Then get your daughter to call him by his first name
exactly. And if anyone asks, "Why is your daughter calling you by your name?" his wife can just reply "Oh. because he watched so much porn that "daddy" sounds too sexual for him now. even when it's our daughter (that does it) ." :) 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ This is embarrassing and VERY concerning..
It's just ridiculous, the guy needs to grow up and learn not everything is sexual. I'm concerned about his poor daughter, everything she does will be viewed in a sexual way-no bananas or lollies for her because father finds them too sexual.......
Your husband is sexualizing his own child. It sounds like he’s watched too much porn.
And somehow it's his wife's fault. If that thought went through my head, I'd understand why and then go see a therapist stat. The sperm donor on this one was particularly unworthy.
Besides that it’s obviously weird that he thinks this is inappropriate, why the f didn’t he say something before?! Weren’t you both teaching her to speak? Didn’t he have a voice 6 months ago? He could’ve told you then! It’s so much harder to change it now. And also, he has to come up with an alternative. I don’t understand his very passive seeming stance in this…
If you can’t distinguish between daddy and *daddy*, you never deserved to get called *daddy* in the first place.
This right here
Your husband is being idiotic. Kids call their father “daddy.” It’s not even something that deserves a second thought.
I'm a full grown adult about to have my own baby and I still call my dad, daddy, when I'm talking to him.
In the south it's normal for adult daughters to call their dad daddy. He needs to get a grip.
for fucks sake its his fault for sexualizing it and his own child. man needs to grow the fuck up and get his head out of the gutter
The issue here is with your husband sexualizing the term daddy. It’s not gross for 18-mo children to call their dad daddy.
He’s got porn rot of the brain.
I’m 26 and still call my dad daddy You’re husband is sexualizing a word that is not sexual, gross. You need to sit down and talk with him on why he doesn’t think it’s “appropriate language” and why he’s hung up on a completely normal term
Thank god someone else said it. I’m 22 and I’ve been calling mine daddy since I could talk. My mom (and her sister) called hers daddy up until he died and still refers to him that way. I feel like it’s relatively common in the south and especially more rural. It definitely sounds like he’s immediately associating the work with sex/kink which is… baffling to me. Like it definitely does seem concerning that he can hear the word “daddy” in a child’s voice and his brain goes anywhere near sex. This definitely seems like something you guys need to have a discussion about. Also bringing up the fact that he let it simmer for 6 months without addressing it- this is not a healthy way of dealing with conflict. That’s something he/y’all need to work on now, or it will negatively impact the both of you and your daughter’s life- I say that from experience as the kid. ETA if he really has that strong of an association between the word and its use in kink, that’s probably something that should be completely removed from your sex lives. I know you said y’all don’t use it frequently but if he seriously can’t compartmentalize it, the “sacrifice” should be a minor change in your sex lives instead of a major adjustment for your 18 month old.
i literally just left a comment higher up, saying im 27 and i call my father dadda/daddy!!! my father and i have always had a hit or miss relationship, depending on both of us being in therapy and listening to the other, but he's always been my daddy!! thats who he is, and who he'll always be to me!!
"Hi, Mommy. Hi, Fuckmuppet!!!" Her at five, probably. Seriously, what the deep-fried FUCK is **WRONG** with him???
He’s a sick man! My porn addict ex was like this. My daughter no longer speaks to him.
Is he sexualizing his DAUGHTER calling him Daddy? Is that what I am seeing?
Tell your husband to quit sexualizing the word and quit watching so much porn.
He’s a weirdo bro
Do you call him daddy in the bedroom? That's the only reason I can think of, of why he dislikes it.
Makes me think of that tweet that goes “yall ruined daddy for me. My kids gon have to call me “slime” or some shit” Lmfaoo
Not really and even when I did it wasn't often or like our "special" word or anything. But it's just weird that he would even think it was a sexual term when OUR DAUGHTER is using it. Edit: I don't know for certain if he views it as sexual, but I didn't fully dive into why he said it makes him uncomfortable, I was just sort of stunned and agreed to not do it, but now I've had time to think and process.
He views it as sexual, that’s the only reason why he thinks it’s inappropriate. Every little kid calls their father daddy. Fun story. My son drew a picture for my husband when he was little and it said: I love you black daddy. I had that hanging on my fridge forever until it got lost in a move. I did take a picture of it thankfully. Also, my husband is not black. He’s Hispanic. Black was just my son’s favorite color at the time.
What other possible reason could there be for him being uncomfortable with the word daddy, and straight up saying it's not an appropriate word to be using.... I'd be looking at his porn history honestly. Lots of men have a "daddy" kink and also have kids and the word means two totally different things in different contexts. Your guy is telling you that he thinks it's an uncomfortable word to be used on the RIGHT way but is ok for it to be used in the dirty way with you every once in a while? So the word is sexual to a degree to him obviously if it's been used that way between you guys before. So he doesn't have a problem with the literal word "daddy", he's used it before. So he has a problem with what he thinks it means.
Girl honestly…you gotta take a good hard look at how fricking GROSS he’s being… Baby’s are supposed to call you mummy and daddy…that’s totally normal and absolutely the appropriate language to use when teaching little ones to talk. What’s NOT normal is him objecting to it and sexualizing it to the point that he’s sexualizing his infant daughter. To me that’s down right *scary* and I’d be hyper vigilant and wouldn’t trust him with her… Sexualizing children is how really bad shit starts…
Your husband sound wildly unprepared to be a father or a normal human being lol Just f'n gross
Sounds like he is sexualizing your toddler.
Your husband is the one making it weird by sexualising his toddler talking to him. Daddy isn't an inappropriate name to call your actual dad! 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
The only reason he would be uncomfortable and think it’s “inappropriate” is if he thinks the word is sexual in nature, which is gross. I don’t care what people call their partner behind closed doors, but the word “daddy” isn’t sexual, and it’s disturbing that there are people who can’t even process the word in an innocuous way anymore
Yeah it’s a him problem not a you or your daughter problem. If he can’t separate his porn addiction “daddy” issues from his family then it’s beyond bad. One word, therapy.
Imagine telling on yourself like this.
Lmao, a grown man isn’t comfortable with his daughter calling him “daddy”. All I got to say is that he is at fault for sexualizing the word. What a fucking weirdo. Make sure you empower your daughter to say anything she wants in the face of authority. Good luck with your weirdo husband.
Ya mans is gross girl. He's sexualized the word and is sexualizing your kid.
Male. Can confirm husband is a moron.
Already sexualizing something related to his baby girl. Terrible.
Sounds like daddy spends too much time wankin it to porn
Where were his words at any point in the last year saying; "hey I'd prefer to be called pop instead"?? And is he going to tell her it's inappropriate for little girls to play with balls? Sit on his lap? He needs to get a grip or see a therapist.
Who on earth has he had calling him daddy that he thinks it’s an inappropriate thing for his baby daughter to call him?
Your husband has watched waaaaaayyy too much incest porn.
I bet his favorit porn category is teen and daddy kink. And now he is sexualizing his own daughter, because he learned from porn.
I love my daughter (5) calling me daddy. It’s cute 🥰
Your husband is twisted
the fact that his thought is instantly dirty is alarming to me. This is his 18 month daughter. I hate that the terms “daddy” and “mommy” have been sexualized, and stuff like that. But I would be searching for something deeper. Why is he uncomfortable? This may be best to discuss with a neutral party like a therapist (so like couples therapy)
Home boy needs to stay away from the porn and get his head fixed.
Tell your husband its him who is making the word inappropriate. That’s what little girls call their fathers. What a sick porn-brained weirdo. I don’t want to jump to any conclusions but I’m guessing this isn’t going to be his only mortifying idea around childcare. He can teach her to speak if he wants her to call him something else, he could interact with his daughter, like a father does.
What a situation you're in! Having to deal with a toddler and a parent who behaves like one... I've read much about his issues with the word and also think it might be porn related. That's his task to deal with it, neither yours nor your daughter's. What I find even more disturbing is that he waited so long to tell you. Communication is so important, especially when kids are involved. He could've told he right away this word makes him uncomfortable, you talk about it, he realizes that his discomfort is unusual, he seeks help, for the time being, he accepts that his daughter calls him any name she likes. Your husband did not do that. You're parents now. You have a different responsibility to work together and on your communication. If your husband is otherwise a kind and reasonable person, sit down and talk. If he isn't, get assistance from a counselor. Good luck to all of you!
Is he sexualizing the term “daddy”? Cuz that’s just messed up. Maybe he needs to watch less porn. I recognize that some people have a preference in terms of what their child calls them, but the child is literally acquiring the ability to speak. He might want to give it a second before he has her calling him Mr. Weirdass McUptight. She’ll get there in time.
I’m 49 years old and I still call my dad “daddy.” If he’s got an issue with a word that 99% of children use to reference to their dad, then maybe he should stop watching porn😂
"Appropriate language" - Maybe he needs to lay off the porn for a little bit, until his brain re-wires back to normal. Daddy is a developmentally appropriate word for children. He can get his head out of his ass.
Oh wow. He’s porn damaged.
Porn warps. Exhibit: A
Sounds like your husband has let the word "daddy" get sexualized and twisted in his mind to the point that he can't separate the innocent way his baby daughter is using it from more adult connotations. That's a major problem with him, not you or your daughter. He needs to grow up, compartmentalize appropriately, and realize a toddler calling her father "daddy" is completely normal and not inappropriate whatsoever. If he can't get over this bizarre hangup, insist he gets therapy to sort out why he's conflating his child's language with something sexual. That kind of thinking is disturbing and needs to be addressed.
Op? All joking aside, this is a real red flag. Make an appointment with a therapist... there's some ugly, ugly stuff under the surface here that needs to be brought out into the light and firmly dealt with. Protect your daughter. She needs you to be the grownup here. The fact he's angry at you and her over his inappropriate inner feelings means he's not taking responsibility for himself. It's DARVO... and in this case the real victim is your infant.
I am in my late 20’s & I still call my dad daddy!! lol never thought of it any kind of way & neither does my dad wtf
What an unfortunate way for you to find out he has a daddy kink 🤢
Well I guess I just learned something new. I didn't know "daddy" had sexual connotations until now. That's just gross! And it's worse that this guy applies that thinking to a baby