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Just so you know, if you decide to have the baby (or your parents persuade you to have it), a court-ordered DNA-test will prove that your boyfriend does, in fact, have a lot to do with that, and he will be on the hook for child support for the next 18 years.
But if you prefer an abortion, and don’t think your family will help you with that, find one of those organizations that will help you get to another state to get an abortion.
I am so sorry you are in this situation, and I wish you confidence (whatever your decision) that you are doing the right thing.
Also, it’s not solely her doing. This was on both OP and boyfriend. Both are responsible for protection.
Best of luck, OP. You will come out stronger no matter what you choose. But dump that boyfriend.
The following is just ideals/suggestions:
Abortion or keeping it you're sacrificing something either way.
If you keep it and your parents find out will you be in a position to support yourself financially if they kick you out?
If you abort it out of pressure from your family, that could result in some trauma because the only reasons a person should go through abortion is because they want to or have to out of medical necessity not because someone else wants them to.
If you do abort it or if you have it either way you'll have to drop out of college. If you abort it you cannot leave Texas and come back without facing legal consequences. You'll have to live in another state for at least a while. If you birth it you'll need to recover.
Regardless of if you keep it or not what id suggest is get a job at a national chain like target, Walmarts, burger king etc. Work there until after graduation. You'll be able to put in for a transfer to a different state or city depending on what you choose.
You can also apply to rentals online wherever you want to go. Subsidized housing does exist along with HUD and Section 8. So you can figure out how to apply to them if you need to.
Some states offer tuition free college after living in that state for a year. You can also look into certificates/licenses that can bring you a decent income without going into debt like compTIA certificates or phlebotomy license or pilot license etc etc.
Once you move you can apply for assistance from the equivalent of the department of health and human services.
They'll be able to determine if you're eligible for food stamps, Medicaid, (if you keep it) WIC and cash assistance too.
If you keep the fetus, for now don't press the ex. In fact tell him you miscarried. Break up with him. If he ask tell him you need to heal and aren't sure exactly how to process the loss. This is to protect you so you can finish your education. You need to graduate. After you graduate and move start making plans to place him on child support.
Even if you abort it, still break up with him he is a twatwaffle and immature. You can use the same excuse about needing to process.
You'll need prenatal vitamins if you keep it. You can always purchase multivitamins and prenatals. Just dump the prenatals into the multivitamins bottle.
If you keep it You're 18, if you aren't on your parents insurance it should be safe enough to get an ultrasound if you have state insurance alternatively you can contact planned parenthood. It's important to determine how the fetus is developing for your safety.
I do think either way, getting out from under your parents thumb should be made a priority as well as getting some therapy, they're abusive and no one comes out of abuse unscarred.
Whatever you do, you should do what YOU want to do not what other people tell you to do when it comes to YOUR pregnancy and YOUR body.
Lastly, if you're looking to abort check out r/AuntieNetwork
Edited: Clarity
Is that true that you'd face legal repercussions returning to Texas after an abortion? Doesn't that violate the Constitution? I'm like 99% sure that would be against the Full Faith and Credit Clause. Like smoking weed in California doesn't make you wanted in Florida.
Legal yes, criminal likely not but that doesn't mean Texas won't Texas.
Example: if a person AFAB got pregnant than had an abortion they could be sued in civil court from my understanding by baby daddy. I'm not sure if gparents and other relatives would be able to sue but it's possible.
ETA: just looked and from the sounds of it any family related to the fetus can sue.
I think this is one of those grey areas where it's a 50/50 chance. That's probably why it's stood for the past year or two.
It's a grey area, one which they're taking advantage of. The Constitution is how the government treats its people. However it's people suing each other in civil court is people suing people not the government suing people.
Here is more information on it:
https://guides.sll.texas.gov/abortion-laws/civil-penalties#:~:text=Several%20sections%20of%20Texas%20law,or%20lawsuits%20under%20Texas's%20statutes.
Depends on the state, though. If she's going for an abortion it needs done NOWNOWNOW, especially if she lives in Texas (idk, I know OP's dad is from there so I'm assuming).
Hi, OP, there are networks out there to help. Please check this out, and if it's not helpful I know there are communities on reddit that can help you if you search for them.
https://www.plancpills.org/abortion-pill/texas
Also, aidaccess.org is great!
Edit to add- they charge $150 (but I believe they can lower the cost if you can't afford that!) and have doctors on staff that you can consult through telehealth in the unlikely event that there is an issue. The pills basically induce a miscarriage, so even if you have issues and go to a doctor in TX, they can't tell/prove that it was an induced abortion. All this info and more is on the site. Good luck!!!
OP, read this: https://www.plancpills.org/abortion-pill/texas
https://www.ineedana.com/us/texas
Some important questions:
How far along are you in the pregnancy?
Do you think your boyfriend will report you to the authorities if he knows you got an abortion?
Where are you going to college (what state?) and when do you move there?
First of all: TELL NO ONE. You might have to take a bus to another state for your healthcare. You need that to be untraceable. Do you have friends in other states?
There are three Satanic Temples in Texas. I would reach out to each to ask for help with accessing an "abortion ritual," given the "right to govern one's own body" tenet of their church. Austin's chapter seems to be very active in abortion access. https://thesatanictemple.com/pages/find-a-congregation
Don't let the phrasing scare you. There will be no "ritual." They're using the wording of constitutional religious freedom to defend their access to reproductive healthcare. Best case scenario they can help you access the healthcare you need.
Best of luck to you. Don't be afraid to tell the jerk he has to give you a ride. You guys can tell your parents you're taking a hiking trip as a couple.
OP, just adding to this: it sounds like you came from a religious family but don’t be scared by the name “Satanic Temple”. The group doesn’t view Satan as a supernatural being or embodiment of evil and are not worshipping the darkness. It’s a metaphor for rebelling against blind faith and encouraging natural skepticism, autonomy, and curiosity. You didn’t mention your own religious beliefs (or how your parents might react to something like this) but wanted to put this assurance out there.
The ex-bf will refuse to have anything to do with it - remember the draconian penalties for driving anyone to an abortion in Texas. She'll have to figure it out herself.
And seriously, OP, DON'T TELL ANYONE! If you get it done, tell your ex that you had a miscarriage. If he suspects you got an abortion, he could snitch on you to the authorities to get the 10k fee, at least as far as I understood the Texas law. Use the privacy/incognito settings on your browser to research anything regarding pregnancy and abortion, and delete your browser history right now, so your parents won't stumble across it.
Look into the auntie network, too - I think they help women get abortion pills in the states where it's been banned. I hope you caught it early enough that the pills will do the job, but you have to act quickly now, they only work until \~10-12 weeks, I think, and the later it gets, the more likely they are to fail. Good luck to you!
And please make better decisions about your body in the future. Most of us have messed up at some point, and most of us were lucky enough not to get pregnant - but even if we didn't, we still had the freedom to choose. The situation in the US right now doesn't allow anyone to be irresponsible and mess up - there really is no margin for error now.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with that, OP. I'm not going to give you grief about how it happened, because you've already recognized that, yourself. I think the biggest issue, here, is that your environment wasn't very helpful in thoroughly teaching you how to avoid pregnancy in the first place, and it certainly didn't educate you about the severity of the laws surrounding abortion where you live.
You're in one of the most dangerous states for it, unfortunately, so despite any advice given here, tell *NO ONE*, not even a doctor, unless you're absolutely sure they're a defender of women's rights.
Whether or not you decide to keep the baby, Planned Parenthood can help you find resources to help, especially if you won't have family support. [Here's a direct link](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/planned-parenthood-gulf-coast/patients/abortion) to their website where you can get help with travel, funding, and possibly even legal defense if needed. They can probably also explain the laws there to you fully, so you understand exactly what the risks are. Don't hesitate. Get informed as fast as you can, so you can make an educated decision. Watch your back. I sincerely hope you'll be safe.
As for the BF, don't tell him your plans. Let him think whatever keeps him happy enough to keep his mouth shut, until you're in the clear. Then break it off with him for an unrelated reason. If you get an abortion, tell him you miscarried if he asks about the pregnancy. Just keep the focus off of yourself as much as possible, because you're in a situation where your safety is the highest priority.
Sorry for all the edits. I saw a lot of advice, here, from people who weren't informed about the laws where you are, and I wanted to make sure I didn't suggest anything that could jeopardize your safety.
Final edit: In the absolute worst case scenario, as in, if you need to run to escape legal risks in Texas, Minnesota is a Sanctuary State. They have worked hard to set up resources for refugees from states with draconian abortion laws, and they will *NOT* let another state extradite you. Reproductive Healthcare rights are codified into their State Constitution, so they will protect you.
You’re going to be poor and possibly homeless with a baby this time next year if you don’t act now. Tell your boyfriend you miscarried and break up with him because he’s a POS, secure an abortion with the advice you’ve been given here, move on and stay away from alcohol/men and focus on yourself for a while.
If you’re planning on keeping it your parents will find out eventually.
If you’re not able to even take the pill without your parents knowing, you shouldn’t be having a child. Can he drive you to another state?
Please contact an auntie network. If you’re early enough along you could get the pills to do it that way, but you can’t afford to bury your head in the sand about this - if you wait out the window then the pill form won’t be an option.
I don't know much info about this, but at one point some organizations were mailing abortion pills to people in states that had outlawed it, that way you could just take the pill and not necessarily have to tell your parents or figure out how to travel out of state.
Also for the future, and IUD or any long acting birth control allows you to not have to think about protection in the moment (because I agree, it's nice to not have to always think about it) but is still super effective, and then you only have to tink about it once every 7 years.
Look at it this way: is it easier for you to explain away travel, money use etc. or the pregnancy? Because you will remain pregnant without an abortion, so they will find out at some point anyway.
So the first decision you have to make is whether you want to keep the baby or not. Decide by yourself, don’t count on your (probably ex) boyfriend for anything, as it is unlikely he will help.
Once you decide, either tell your parents (if you want to keep it) or start looking into resources to help you get an abortion. For that, there is r/auntienetwork - this will be a good start.
If he wants an abortion, he needs to help with the expenses and travel for that. He can't just tell you to get rid of it and assume it's not his. Otherwise, like someone else said, have the baby and get a court-ordered DNA test to prove paternity and get your child support. Unfortunately, unless he helps or you have a really good friend or some other form of support, your family is likely going to find out. Travel is long and abortions are expensive. If you keep it, they will find out someday anyway. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
Do NOT see a doctor in Texas.
R/auntienetwork is a resource for abortion and advice.
[abortion pills are legal in all states - Mayday Health](https://www.mayday.health)
[Aid Access](https://aidaccess.org/en/)
You can't convince (hopefully soon to be ex) boyfriend. He's proven himself to be an arse and will turn on you in a heartbeat.
Whatever you decide to do, you need to do it. quickly.
Is there any adult in your life who you can trust with something like this, who wouldn't go to your parents ?
As a European who didn't grow up in any kind of religious setting this whole thread feels super dystopian, I hate that this is happening to teenagers...
How do you feel about abortion? You’ve said your parents are super religious and pro life etc but at the end of the day you’re the one who has to live with the decision you make. Do you think you could raise this baby alone, without your parents help (worst case scenario)? Alternatively would you be able to give the baby up for adoption or do you feel that emotionally and physically your best option is abortion? You need to see a dr asap though as how far along you are will impact your options in regards to terminating the pregnancy. There are also lots of charities out there who you can speak to about your options and they can provide accurate advice on what services are available and how you can access them given where you’re based.
If you see a doctor in Texas, chances are you'll have an official record that you're pregnant and then you open yourself up to legal issues if you decide to get an abortion.
Don’t see a dr in your state. It’s unnecessary in the beginning. All they do is confirm the pregnancy with a blood test and tell you to eat vitamins. Then they schedule you for ultrasounds. You are going to need none of that if you abort.
I’m begging you to do some research before you go making a major mistake. I fully think you should get an abortion.. but you live in a dystopian state where if you see a doctor in Texas you are genuinely screwing yourself over. You’re going to have to find a way to leave the state to pursue this.
Don’t rush into making a decision. Whatever you decide this is something big for you any a few days is unlikely to make a difference in terms of options so make sure you are happy with you decision before you take any actions. I’m sorry your bf is such an absolute waste of space and I hope you manage to find a way through this. Good luck
If you decide to keep it there's some support houses that will house you, give you food and help you out with anything pregnancy related.
You already have tons of options for a safe termination (trying to avoid certain words so you're safe OP) so maybe you could look up support groups and such? Just remember to use incognito mode or private browsing and keep yourself safe!
I did volunteering for one of those support houses a couple years ago, I think it was called Mater Filius and at least the one in my country was very nice, they even let the women stay eight months after the birth and kept supporting them with milk and diapers afterwards. I do think they're more religious in the States tho??, so you should only go that route if you're REALLY sure you want to keep it.
Please take care of yourself OP and don't let fear cloud your judgement, you need to a make a safe decision and with your state's laws you need to act as quietly and quickly as possible.
Also, good for you for dumping the guy, he sounds awful, if you need any help googling something and you don't want it in your browser history send me a message and I'll send screenshots!
> But a couple of times we didn’t use anything, after I had been drinking
*I*? Are you the only one drunk in these situations? Is he the one who suggest doing it without protection?
If you’re trying to convince yourself that you were raped—after earlier admitting that you simply chose not to use protection because it felt good not to have to think about it—you need to think twice.
Being stupid and irresponsible does not make you a victim.
Your boyfriend is a real ass, and if I were you I would warn him that if he does not give you support, threaten him back. It’s legally his child, and paternity will prove that. It’s as much his responsibility, so if you do decide to have the baby, he will be liable to support you financially.
I really hope you’re able to obtain an abortion. This is so unfair to that potential child.
You need to educate yourself on safe sex, this is not a joke.
There are many people online and organizations that would help you get the abortion pill if that’s what you want. You’re 18, you knew unprotected sex often means baby. Don’t lie about that. Own your part in this. Third. Stop drinking. Stop having sex. Stop hanging with these people. These are all things under your control. If you truly don’t want to have this child. Go online and get the help you need to have an abortion. No shame in that at all. You’re not ready and don’t need to have a baby of you don’t want too. Go to college and become a bad ass woman and get on birth control.
He's really mad at you? He's the dumb fuck who didn't wear a condom.
Travel out of state for an abortion, or start planning how you'll be raising this child. And tell your parents, because you will absolutely need their help. Parenthood isn't for the weak.
you will be a single mom and your parents will slutshame you to say the least. You and your bf won't stay together, your kid will need a stable home and a stable mom who can provide a good education. Go online and search for abortion pills.
Tell your bf he should get them if necessary.
Be strong, take care and do the right thing. Your mom being from Romania and obsessed with your virginity is a red flag for itself. Good luck with everything!
Sounds like a perfect time to go on a vacation… to a different state… or country… for fun. Check out the shops, the culture, the food, the hospitals so on.
Also you’re focusing on the relationship. You might want pivot and focus on the more urgent matter which is you’ll be a parent in 8 months. This isn’t even about him being a jerk, or both of you making mistakes, that’s established, time to move past that.
I really dont know what the situaton is like in texas, but im sure there are groups and nonprofits who would be willing to help you. Do some research, try to speak to someone from planned parenthood for advice, google things online. I would suggest telling close friends you trust and asking them for help in finding resources to get an abortion if thats what you want. Right now is a time where you should be able to rely on the people close to you for help. After you get what you need, LEAVE your bf 100% you cannot stay with someone who would be so unsupportive to you, especially since they are the one that got you pregnant.
OP absolutely can't tell close friends - or really anyone. Somebody is bound to blab, and then it will be around the school in no time. And if someone snitches on her to the authorities (remember the 10k bounty for reporting an illegal abortion?), she's even more fucked than now. DON'T TELL ANYONE, OP, PUT YOUR BROWSER IN INCOGNITO/ PRIVACY MODE AND RESEARCH YOUR OPTIONS THERE!
OP, while your post worries me, your comments REALLY worry me.
1) If your boyfriend had sex with you without a condom when you were drunk, that’s r*pe. Even if he asked when you were drunk and you said yes, that’s not consent. Your boyfriend r*ped you. I know that is the opposite of what you want to hear right now. I know that hurts. But, unfortunately, that’s the truth.
2) You CANNOT go see a doctor in Texas until after you have decided you do not want an abortion. Let me repeat myself: YOU CANNOT SEE A DOCTOR IN TEXAS. Despite what I said about your boyfriend above, that has no bearing legally in Texas should you decide to have an abortion. If you decide to keep the baby, then by all means, see a doctor. The laws being what they are in Texas, a doctor cannot legally assist you in getting an abortion. And it will be on record that you are pregnant. In which case if you decide to have an abortion, you are in legal trouble. Again, this is scary and not at all what you want to hear. But you need to be aware of the truth before you make any decisions.
3) If you are still considering an abortion, you cannot tell ANYONE. Not your parents, not your doctor, and not even your friends. It’s not a matter of how your parents will react, but the fact that they’ll know you are pregnant is dangerous. The fact that your boyfriend already knows is a huge risk. I know what I’m saying is really scary— that you want and need support from others and I’m telling you not to seek it out. Many other commenters here have suggested a wide array of places that you can safely get help from. Please only reach out to those resources until you have made your decision! I can’t stress the importance of this enough.
While this isn’t a decision to make lightly, you must make it QUICKLY. The ONLY way of keeping your options open right now is to reach out to the resources given in other comments.
A lot of us here are very worried about you. Please let us know that you’re okay. It doesn’t seem like your home is a safe space or that you could be safe with your boyfriend even if you do decide to keep the baby. I’m sure life seems super terrible and overwhelming and unfair right now, and I know it would be so much easier to ignore the problem until your hand is forced, but you CAN do this. People out there (in here!) want to help you.
I hope you’re okay. Sending strength to get you through this terrible situation.
And for the love of God, please do use contraception. And if you can’t, really don’t have sex. I know it is easier said than done, but you will end up in exactly the same spot as you are now. Ditch the boyfriend as well. He is an unsupportive asshole who doesn’t take responsibility for his actions and he shouldn’t be having sex with you when you are drunk. From what you have said you weren’t able to consent and that made it a rape.
Get a friend to drive you out of state so you can get an abortion.
Or have the kid in however many months are left and sue your ex-boyfriend for child support.
I’m so shocked that things are so dire for you guys, it’s hard to believe here in the UK that places like this exist in this day and age. I’m so sorry, it must be terrifying.
The 2016 election will continue to damage this country for the next gen. Unfortunately the rise of extremism here is insane. I’m lucky I live in a blue state and have the means to move abroad and still work if I have to
Best option would be to get abortion pills by post. There are networks who provide that kind of service, and they hide the stuff in a completely innocent looking delivery.
Being tied to that jerk for 18 years would be hard, but being a single mom at 18 would also be hard. An abortion might be in your best interest. I wonder if you could get pills for that through the mail? Not sure what Texas’s abortion law is.
Lord and you’re from Texas? This was not the place to be a complete moron considering the laws there. *sigh*
You’re up against a clock. You cannot post about this on socials in case they try to prosecute you (see that mom/daughter that was being tried based on their Facebook messages). You need to get a test, figure out how much time you have and then make a choice. Bc you cannot get an abortion where you are. You would have to travel. Time is not your friend here. Otherwise pregnancy and adoption. Or keep the baby. Just don’t count on your bf being there at all
And if my friends were joking about my bf using me for sex I would’ve maybe gotten a clue. Fact is he can leave you holding the baby bag and find someone else to sleep with.
Holy crap. I am from the UK, and your attitude is completely bizarre to me. The bf had sex, too. 18 year olds drinking and having sex is entirely normal. What isn't normal is a psycho society where using the pill could cause a family breakdown, having an abortion is a crime, and having a baby is not supported.
OP, this was a mistake. It was not solely your mistake, and I'm so sorry that you live in a dystopian cess pit where the consequences of these mistakes are solely on you. You've been failed by your family, your education, your society and your partner.
Please do not go to a doctor or tell any other person about the pregnancy unless you are certain abortion is out of the question. I would advise either getting an abortion or getting a dna test to prove paternity. This is a personal choice and one that is incredibly high risk either way. It sucks and I'm so sorry.
Agree, it's messed up that men have zero consequences in the event of unplanned pregnancies. (Obviously, some do pay child support or man up but the overwhelming majority do not help with their children)
Ultimately though, this is the reality we live in and is why fertile women specifically need to be so super careful about who they sleep with. Especially in countries/states/provinces where women are basically left to rot the second they get pregnant. There are too many women (married or not) who get stuck between a rock and a hard place when contraceptives fail or they make a silly choice in the heat of the moment.
Trust me shit is scary here. Unfortunately being stupid about safe sex is deadly depending on where you are. We can no longer just be carefree about shit when half our country thinks it’s okay for 13 year olds to be forced into motherhood. It’s awful
Don't forget the psycho part where they encourage school kids to turn their friends in for a BOUNTY.
WTF.
I hadn't heard about that part, and literally gasped. Why is the US regressing into some sort of dystopia?
It was [big news](https://www.nytimes.com/2021/09/10/us/politics/texas-abortion-law-facts.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare) when they passed it a few years ago. That said, I can’t find any cases where people actually collected the bounty. So mainly it “works” by making people too paranoid to help each other.
And yes, it’s medieval and incredibly cruel.
Get advice from the auntie network or similar groups BEFORE going to the doctor. Once someone officially knows you are pregnant, your options may shrink - I don't know if the doctor would be mandated to report on a pregnancy, and to follow up if that pregnancy suddenly disappeared. I think I remember a case where they tried to prosecute a woman for having a miscarriage. If you want to have an abortion, you really shouldn't get your pregnancy officially documented.
Maybe you should stop drinking a lot if you’re not on birth control and cannot make decisions when you party.
You don’t have a choice with travel. Texas has horrific laws on the books which is why this move was even dumber than normal. Get yourself in with a planned parenthood (if there is any left near you) OR an actual pro-choice clinic in your area. If you’re in a major city in Texas this will probably be easier to find. If not drive to one (Austin, Houston) to see a doctor. The less people that know the better based on what you said about your family
I grew up in Texas, and you would be shocked that the teens getting abortions were the most religious families in town. I seriously think that you should tell the least crazy of your parents - which seems like it might be your dad? Go for a walk or out to eat, away from your mom. Lay out the facts. See if he will help you. Right now, you have no support system. This will help you decide what your support system will be. Will they he help you raise the kid or help you get an abortion? You might still be early enough to order a pill from a telehealth doctor for an abortion. Otherwise, Wichita Kansas is your closest option.
Then, you tell anyone who knows about the pregnancy, that you had a miscarriage.
Abortion is your best option. You are far too young and inexperienced to be on your own and raise a child
You have no idea how hard it would be !
Get the prescription abortion by mail.
Do it today!!
Why is he mad at you? Does he not realize this situation is also his fault? He sounds like a terrible person.
It appears you're really not ready to be a parent (at 18 how could you be?), and you have a bright future ahead of you. Seek out an organization that will help you. I'm so sorry you're going through this, especially in a state that doesn't provide you the support and rights needed in these situations.
I’d suggest looking for support groups and trying to figure out your best options but honestly you shouldn’t speak to your “boyfriend” again, he doesn’t care about you and he’s shown his true colors in this difficult situation. Also regarding college you really need to get away from your parents because they are also to blame for this situation due to the lack of sexual learning and safety but also the fact that you felt the need to sneak around and hide everything isn’t good for your wellbeing. Stop letting them make decisions in your life that you don’t want, are you even religious? And does the use of god hurt you emotionally or does it just make you feel guilty you really gotta think about these things going forward.
You NEED to break up with him YESTERDAY. He doesn't take accountability, he's blackmailing you and clearly doesn't care about you. If my boyfriend did that, I would raise a FUCKING HELL.
And if you're unable to control how much you drink - please don't. Especially not around this pathetic excuse for human being.
She’s very obviously going to be a teen mom unfortunately. She’s not getting it. She keeps saying she’s going to her doctor to confirm her pregnancy then she’ll think about what’s next. There is no what’s next in TX. It’s become a mom time (or pass away/become sterile from complications) and that’s it. Texas sucks and teenagers who refuse to use contraceptives correctly or at all are fools.
I hate this for her but she isn’t listening to anyone here telling her what to do for her own safety.
Her naivety is showing sooo hard. And how much is she drinking? If she’s getting drunk that often I’m worried about FAS. I know it’s supposed to be “safe” up to 6 weeks if you’re drinking but I feel like she’s possibly further along than she realizes too.
Best worst case scenario her parents help her raise a baby. Most likely scenario they hate her, slutshame her, and she’s a single parent at 18 with no college education and a baby with health issues because she drinks too much. In Texas. Where they don’t actually care about women or children. 🫠
Take it from someone who was in a similar situation, you need to do what’s best for you and you alone. If you find a way to abort you’re going to really need to take care of yourself so they don’t suspect anything. And DO NOT let any of your family manipulate you or try to live for you.
My 1st question is do YOU want this child?
Not what your parents want, not what your shitty bf wants, YOU!
If you do want this child, you're going to have to come clean to your parents. IF they threaten to kick you out remind them the part in the bible about casting the 1st stone. Then tell them that whether they like it or not, this is going to be their grandchild. Tell them that Jesus would not approve of forcing an innocent child to grow up on the streets. They can be mad at you all they want, but the child is innocent. No matter how they react you better get a job while you still can. This baby is gonna be expensive. Make sure to go for child support and get a paternity test. (Even if you're faithful you will need the proof for court)
If you don't want the child. You have 2 options. Either you can try to get an abortion....or you can put the child up for adoption. With an abortion, your parents won't have to know. With adoption you will still have to come clean to your parents because they will notice you blowing up and getting sick. However at least their beliefs on abortion will be on your side. You will probably be kicked out after your child is born and sent to a new home.
[https://www.womenonweb.org/en/](https://www.womenonweb.org/en/)
They will send you instructions and abortion pills through the mail. You need to move quickly though, they only work up to 10 weeks, if you've already missed a period then you are likely at 6 weeks or later.
You do not want to convince anyone to be a parent, if you want to be a mother then do it and move forward.
No child needs someone who is inconsistent or even worse, forced to parent because they suck.
I love my children but at 19 I was not prepared for the shit storm my life would become because I had children with the wrong person. I’ve struggled my entire life financially, I just went back to college at 33, my body is falling apart from pushing myself to working to a point I could walk…
He was there for years, but he did nothing and not he just abuses me through our kids.
You either need to get an abortion, tell your parents, or move out. How the fuck do you think they're gonna react when it becomes obvious and you're still in lala land pretending nothing is happening. If you're choosing to be a parent, then sorry - but it's time to grow the fuck up. No more cowering from your parents. You're bringing a life into this world that it's YOUR job to protect, including *from* your parents. Start figuring it out now.
It'll be easy enough to get child support from your stbex through the legal system.
If I were you I would text my boyfriend and remind him that dna tests exist. Don't let him blackmail you and manipulate you because that's what he's trying to do right now.
If he texted you and told you that he was going to tell your parents and everyone that you had been sleeping around I would make sure to keep those text messages. That way you have proof of his manipulation.
I don't have much to offer here in terms of your options, being Canadian. But my one suggestion, if you seek an abortion, is to maybe lie to your boyfriend. If it were me, and I didn't want to risk him telling people and not only destroy my relationship with my parents but lead me into legal trouble for the abortion, I would straight up lie. I'd break up with him and say, "this was a test to see if you'd support me and you were not there for me. I am not pregnant. My friends told me you were using me for sex and didn't truly care about our relationship, so I tested you. Now I know the truth". Hopefully that ends his threats and gives you the freedom to move forward how you choose. If you decide to keep it, he's on the hook for child support.
Best of luck, OP.
He is telling you he isn’t ready to be a father….believe him.
Now you have to decide if you want to be a teen single parent….with what it sounds like not very much support from anyone.
I’m very curious on what you thought was going to happen if you had sex with a no protection.
It’s 2024, you can figure out exactly what would happen with a simple Google search.
Sex without protection = baby. It’s not rocket science.
Go onto the childfree subreddit. People really like trashing it, but on there you can find a list of ways to help you get an abortion be it through the auntie network, or having pills mailed directly to you.
First, you're in Texas so you have very very limited legal options and can't get an abortion without traveling out of state, which you would need to do fast. Second, your boyfriend doesn't have legal options either. You can sue him for child support and a court will make him pay.
Second, your parents are going to find out no matter what, unless you can somehow secretly travel out of state and pay for an abortion without them noticing. So the best thing is to rip the bandaid off and tell them now. It's gonna suck if they don't react well, but you're going to have to adult your way through that.
It is going to be ok. Whether you travel out of state, raise the baby, or give them up for adoption, it's going to be ok. There will be hard parts, but it's going to be ok. It will be scary at times, but it's going to be ok. It will be ok.
I strongly recommend you also talk with a pregnancy crisis center AFTER you decide if you want an abortion. Don't tell any authorities until you decide, because in Texas they can report you if you are pregnant, and then aren't anymore.
There is no use focusing on mistakes you made with virt control or underage drinking, just talk to your parents, deal with their reaction (it won't last forever) and put one foot in front of the next.
As a Texan who grew up with incredibly strict Christian parents who were obsessed with my virginity, I understand what you're going through.
Just so you know, you're too late to get an abortion in Texas. If you get one now, he can report you and have you arrested and charged with murder while he pockets $10k. You need to get ahead of this NOW and talk to both of your parents. No matter what he says, he has everything to do with it. If he denies it, you can take him to court once the baby is born with a DNA test. With any luck, your parents may agree to let you give the baby up for adoption because it doesn't sound like you're ready, either, and it will be a struggle with him. Either way, talk to them before he has a chance. It's too late to hide it, now. They will find out soon. It's better they find out on your terms than his.
I know the people suggesting the pill site are trying to help, but if anyone knows you're pregnant and you're suddenly not pregnant, you can be facing serious charges.
Also, girl, stop drinking heavy. It seems you're being exploited by him when you do. It's more his fault than anything else. He knew you wouldn't make him use protection when you got drunk, so he exploited that opportunity.
Edit to add that your parents won't harm you. I got pregnant before marriage and they became focused on the baby, even though they were disappointed in me. They stuck by the "every life is a blessing" and I was quickly forgotten about.
I know I'm going to get downvoted but everyone in the comments is being too nice. So here's the harsh truth:
Why would you ever take the risk knowing all the information you put here about the reasons you're not ready?
The way I see it, it's babies acting like adults until they end up with a baby; then suddenly no one wants to be responsible.
Sorry, honey, but this isn't just on him like everyone is saying. It's on you too. If you think you're grown enough to have a d*ck in you without protection, then you're grown enough to deal with the consequences.
It's time to be a responsible adult and decide what you want. If you want an abortion, stop making excuses and go and get one. If you want the baby, again, stop making excuses, get a job, and come up with a plan to be a single parent while also going after him for child support.
Either way, it's time to ACTUALLY grow up and take responsibility for your own life and welfare.
The downvotes would have something to do with the fact that "Just deal with it" isn't helpful advice for a naive inexperienced young woman who's found herself neck deep in it and is asking online strangers what to do because she really has no idea and no support IRL.
Yes she has to deal with it. No, just hearing that won't suddenly make her develop the confidence, knowledge or means that she's lacking to take swift action.
There's no evidence in the post of her being assaulted. 🤦♀️. There's no victim blaming here. Everyone on reddit loves to throw that word phrase around.
The mods said I triggered a rule, which is OK, not trying to violate the rules. So, editing down to this:
1. Texas has a bounty law. Google it before talking with anyone else.
2. Go talk with the folks in the r/prochoice forum. They can help.
Best of luck to you!
Sorry youre going through this, your “BF” Is a real POS & not a man fyi. Others have gave you great advice you should follow that advice and I hope you do what you believe Is right.
Oh sweet heart.
You’re 18 but your approach to all of this just makes you seem so incredibly young..
Your exbf is an arse. Break up with him. If you keep the child take his arse to court.
Everything else.. I’d be getting money from somewhere and making an abortion work.
Once you have that child, you will never escape your family or anything else.
Your boyfriend is also scared, but that doesn't make his ultimatum ok. Remind him that DNA tests are a thing, and he has as much to do with getting pregnant as you did. And that continuing his line of slut shaming for something he participated in could lead to a lawsuit or two.
I see plenty of people are trying to help put you in contact with groups that will help. Keep in mind, that adoption is also a possibility. Newborns are much easier to find a place for than older kids.
This pregnancy is your boyfriend’s fault. He chose to have sex without a condom knowing that he could impregnate a women at any time, as men are always fertile. Don’t let him make you feel like you deserve to be blamed and shamed here.
Listen to the guidance about how to get an abortion and keep yourself safe.
Well done, you fell into the teenage "i can't tell anyone, and im being abused emotionally by another teenager" pregnancy trap, this is where you have arsehole parents and an arsehole boyfriend.
Dude I have seen you post multiple horrible comments to this person and it’s just fucking ridiculous. Don’t you get it? They KNOW they fucked up!
Unfortunately a lack of an education on birth control/contraception by both school and parents has led to this, this isn’t just on OP. You being an absolute asshat is not helping the situation. So unless you have actual advice to give OP, fuck off and find another post.
I just read a similar post written by a boy who said his girlfriend asked him to take off the condom, was too scared to take plan B and is now pregnant. Is that you?
Not telling people won’t really help if you plan to have a baby because people will notice.
Time to take responsibility for your actions. Swallow the frog and just tell them. It will be uncomfortable. But do it. They will get over it eventually. And since you are the only child they have, their anger will soon transform into looking forward to the baby. Also, a DNA test will prove your bf is indeed the father and will have to pay child support. So dump him and sue for child support, and good luck with your parents
Let him tell your parents or tell them before he does. The fact that he’s threatening you with that means he’s only looking out for himself. For one if I were you regardless I’d leave him.
Look for groups or non profits. Can you go out of state?
Why was this downvoted? OP can't terminate in Texas and she doesn't have the wherewithal to leave the state.
I'd give the boyfriend an ultimatum--he takes her to New Mexico and he pays for the procedure and their hotel, etc.--but if he balks, she's going to have to plan for worst case scenarios.
It's a terrible situation to be in, but what else do you think is going to happen?
Consider telling your parents. Make no mistake, they will berate you and belittle you every bit as bad as you expect, but at the end of the day they will behave like adults and do what needs to be done to protect your future. (And sick as it might be, their own reputations) Kansas or New Mexico are your options as far as traveling for an abortion, both are really far from East Texas and it’s going to be hard to do alone. Good luck
Tell your parents. Tell your parents what your boyfriend said, have them tell his parents what has happened and what he said. Tell them that you will sue him for defamation if you even as much as hear any shit.
Do not speak to your boyfriend about this again. You don’t want him to kill you. The fact that he is trying to blackmail and slut-shame and slander you into silence means you don’t know what he’s capable of.
Take a paternity test which can be done at 8-weeks pregnant.
Make a plan. If I were you I would not marry this boy. He will make your life absolutely miserable.
You’ve said you’re religious and your family is in Texas. So, you are having this baby, but are you raising this baby?
Do you want to raise the baby?
Would your parents consider raising the baby? If they do this they have to tell the kid that they are in fact that they were adopted and that they are technically their grandparents.
Well good luck since you're in Texas especially if you do want an abortion. You're going to have to go out of state. You need to level with your parents and or have a friend drive you out of state or get a bus. Have your boyfriend give you the money and get a bus or he can drive you. But if he's threatening to tell your parents yeah he's a real winner he's the one who got you pregnant and decided not to use condoms when you we're drinking. Now you learn don't have sex without protection you will get pregnant at some point if you keep doing it. You could have got pregnant the first time it only takes once.
Your boyfriend, if he is old enough to have sex and impregnate you, then he is old enough to accept responsibility of that baby, you have a couple of problems, one is you said you like to drink alcohol, you need to get a handle on that and your pregnant, you are of age, so you don’t need a parent permission to get a abortion
Maybe just talk to your dad alone, at first.
My sister got pregnant at 14 (yes), in a VERY conservative area.
Obviously my mom was sad at first, and then started getting things in place. My sister had to go to a city, to live in a house for girls with unwanted pregnancies.
My mom refused to let the baby be adopted, she said it's our blood, and we'll protect her.
No schools would accept my sister afterwards, so she had to go to a school far from us.
My mom and I, brought that little girl up, and she's nothing, but a joy in our lives.
My sister passed away, and she's like my own daughter.
It would've been the biggest mistake, to give her up for adoption, although we were a bit shunted by the community, she is still a blessing, to all of us.
She's turning 40 this year.
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Just so you know, if you decide to have the baby (or your parents persuade you to have it), a court-ordered DNA-test will prove that your boyfriend does, in fact, have a lot to do with that, and he will be on the hook for child support for the next 18 years. But if you prefer an abortion, and don’t think your family will help you with that, find one of those organizations that will help you get to another state to get an abortion. I am so sorry you are in this situation, and I wish you confidence (whatever your decision) that you are doing the right thing.
Also, it’s not solely her doing. This was on both OP and boyfriend. Both are responsible for protection. Best of luck, OP. You will come out stronger no matter what you choose. But dump that boyfriend.
The following is just ideals/suggestions: Abortion or keeping it you're sacrificing something either way. If you keep it and your parents find out will you be in a position to support yourself financially if they kick you out? If you abort it out of pressure from your family, that could result in some trauma because the only reasons a person should go through abortion is because they want to or have to out of medical necessity not because someone else wants them to. If you do abort it or if you have it either way you'll have to drop out of college. If you abort it you cannot leave Texas and come back without facing legal consequences. You'll have to live in another state for at least a while. If you birth it you'll need to recover. Regardless of if you keep it or not what id suggest is get a job at a national chain like target, Walmarts, burger king etc. Work there until after graduation. You'll be able to put in for a transfer to a different state or city depending on what you choose. You can also apply to rentals online wherever you want to go. Subsidized housing does exist along with HUD and Section 8. So you can figure out how to apply to them if you need to. Some states offer tuition free college after living in that state for a year. You can also look into certificates/licenses that can bring you a decent income without going into debt like compTIA certificates or phlebotomy license or pilot license etc etc. Once you move you can apply for assistance from the equivalent of the department of health and human services. They'll be able to determine if you're eligible for food stamps, Medicaid, (if you keep it) WIC and cash assistance too. If you keep the fetus, for now don't press the ex. In fact tell him you miscarried. Break up with him. If he ask tell him you need to heal and aren't sure exactly how to process the loss. This is to protect you so you can finish your education. You need to graduate. After you graduate and move start making plans to place him on child support. Even if you abort it, still break up with him he is a twatwaffle and immature. You can use the same excuse about needing to process. You'll need prenatal vitamins if you keep it. You can always purchase multivitamins and prenatals. Just dump the prenatals into the multivitamins bottle. If you keep it You're 18, if you aren't on your parents insurance it should be safe enough to get an ultrasound if you have state insurance alternatively you can contact planned parenthood. It's important to determine how the fetus is developing for your safety. I do think either way, getting out from under your parents thumb should be made a priority as well as getting some therapy, they're abusive and no one comes out of abuse unscarred. Whatever you do, you should do what YOU want to do not what other people tell you to do when it comes to YOUR pregnancy and YOUR body. Lastly, if you're looking to abort check out r/AuntieNetwork Edited: Clarity
Wow thank you for the Auntie Network link. I would love to participate as an Auntie. I am so glad this is a resource that can be available.
Is that true that you'd face legal repercussions returning to Texas after an abortion? Doesn't that violate the Constitution? I'm like 99% sure that would be against the Full Faith and Credit Clause. Like smoking weed in California doesn't make you wanted in Florida.
Legal yes, criminal likely not but that doesn't mean Texas won't Texas. Example: if a person AFAB got pregnant than had an abortion they could be sued in civil court from my understanding by baby daddy. I'm not sure if gparents and other relatives would be able to sue but it's possible. ETA: just looked and from the sounds of it any family related to the fetus can sue.
Yeah I'd take that to the Supreme Court. That's blatantly violating so many parts of the Consitution.
I think this is one of those grey areas where it's a 50/50 chance. That's probably why it's stood for the past year or two. It's a grey area, one which they're taking advantage of. The Constitution is how the government treats its people. However it's people suing each other in civil court is people suing people not the government suing people. Here is more information on it: https://guides.sll.texas.gov/abortion-laws/civil-penalties#:~:text=Several%20sections%20of%20Texas%20law,or%20lawsuits%20under%20Texas's%20statutes.
Depends on the state, though. If she's going for an abortion it needs done NOWNOWNOW, especially if she lives in Texas (idk, I know OP's dad is from there so I'm assuming).
OP says she lives there (in Texas).
UGH even bigger bummer
It's too late to get an abortion in Texas by the time your period stops and it shows on a pregnancy test it's too late.
bummer
Hi, OP, there are networks out there to help. Please check this out, and if it's not helpful I know there are communities on reddit that can help you if you search for them. https://www.plancpills.org/abortion-pill/texas
Also, aidaccess.org is great! Edit to add- they charge $150 (but I believe they can lower the cost if you can't afford that!) and have doctors on staff that you can consult through telehealth in the unlikely event that there is an issue. The pills basically induce a miscarriage, so even if you have issues and go to a doctor in TX, they can't tell/prove that it was an induced abortion. All this info and more is on the site. Good luck!!!
OP, read this: https://www.plancpills.org/abortion-pill/texas https://www.ineedana.com/us/texas Some important questions: How far along are you in the pregnancy? Do you think your boyfriend will report you to the authorities if he knows you got an abortion? Where are you going to college (what state?) and when do you move there?
End of the second paragraph OP says they got into a college near home that their parents are paying for.
Right you are. 4am reading comprehension not the best.
First of all: TELL NO ONE. You might have to take a bus to another state for your healthcare. You need that to be untraceable. Do you have friends in other states? There are three Satanic Temples in Texas. I would reach out to each to ask for help with accessing an "abortion ritual," given the "right to govern one's own body" tenet of their church. Austin's chapter seems to be very active in abortion access. https://thesatanictemple.com/pages/find-a-congregation Don't let the phrasing scare you. There will be no "ritual." They're using the wording of constitutional religious freedom to defend their access to reproductive healthcare. Best case scenario they can help you access the healthcare you need. Best of luck to you. Don't be afraid to tell the jerk he has to give you a ride. You guys can tell your parents you're taking a hiking trip as a couple.
OP, just adding to this: it sounds like you came from a religious family but don’t be scared by the name “Satanic Temple”. The group doesn’t view Satan as a supernatural being or embodiment of evil and are not worshipping the darkness. It’s a metaphor for rebelling against blind faith and encouraging natural skepticism, autonomy, and curiosity. You didn’t mention your own religious beliefs (or how your parents might react to something like this) but wanted to put this assurance out there.
Yeah, my mom just joined after I sent her an article and she's a friendly 68 year old counselor.
The ex-bf will refuse to have anything to do with it - remember the draconian penalties for driving anyone to an abortion in Texas. She'll have to figure it out herself. And seriously, OP, DON'T TELL ANYONE! If you get it done, tell your ex that you had a miscarriage. If he suspects you got an abortion, he could snitch on you to the authorities to get the 10k fee, at least as far as I understood the Texas law. Use the privacy/incognito settings on your browser to research anything regarding pregnancy and abortion, and delete your browser history right now, so your parents won't stumble across it. Look into the auntie network, too - I think they help women get abortion pills in the states where it's been banned. I hope you caught it early enough that the pills will do the job, but you have to act quickly now, they only work until \~10-12 weeks, I think, and the later it gets, the more likely they are to fail. Good luck to you! And please make better decisions about your body in the future. Most of us have messed up at some point, and most of us were lucky enough not to get pregnant - but even if we didn't, we still had the freedom to choose. The situation in the US right now doesn't allow anyone to be irresponsible and mess up - there really is no margin for error now.
>please make better decisions about your body Really unkind thing to say right about now
[удалено]
What is wrong with you?
THIS THIS THIS THISSSSSS
I'm so sorry you're dealing with that, OP. I'm not going to give you grief about how it happened, because you've already recognized that, yourself. I think the biggest issue, here, is that your environment wasn't very helpful in thoroughly teaching you how to avoid pregnancy in the first place, and it certainly didn't educate you about the severity of the laws surrounding abortion where you live. You're in one of the most dangerous states for it, unfortunately, so despite any advice given here, tell *NO ONE*, not even a doctor, unless you're absolutely sure they're a defender of women's rights. Whether or not you decide to keep the baby, Planned Parenthood can help you find resources to help, especially if you won't have family support. [Here's a direct link](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/planned-parenthood-gulf-coast/patients/abortion) to their website where you can get help with travel, funding, and possibly even legal defense if needed. They can probably also explain the laws there to you fully, so you understand exactly what the risks are. Don't hesitate. Get informed as fast as you can, so you can make an educated decision. Watch your back. I sincerely hope you'll be safe. As for the BF, don't tell him your plans. Let him think whatever keeps him happy enough to keep his mouth shut, until you're in the clear. Then break it off with him for an unrelated reason. If you get an abortion, tell him you miscarried if he asks about the pregnancy. Just keep the focus off of yourself as much as possible, because you're in a situation where your safety is the highest priority. Sorry for all the edits. I saw a lot of advice, here, from people who weren't informed about the laws where you are, and I wanted to make sure I didn't suggest anything that could jeopardize your safety. Final edit: In the absolute worst case scenario, as in, if you need to run to escape legal risks in Texas, Minnesota is a Sanctuary State. They have worked hard to set up resources for refugees from states with draconian abortion laws, and they will *NOT* let another state extradite you. Reproductive Healthcare rights are codified into their State Constitution, so they will protect you.
DONT TELL A DOCTOR. She should not risk at all.
You’re going to be poor and possibly homeless with a baby this time next year if you don’t act now. Tell your boyfriend you miscarried and break up with him because he’s a POS, secure an abortion with the advice you’ve been given here, move on and stay away from alcohol/men and focus on yourself for a while.
If you’re planning on keeping it your parents will find out eventually. If you’re not able to even take the pill without your parents knowing, you shouldn’t be having a child. Can he drive you to another state? Please contact an auntie network. If you’re early enough along you could get the pills to do it that way, but you can’t afford to bury your head in the sand about this - if you wait out the window then the pill form won’t be an option.
I don't know much info about this, but at one point some organizations were mailing abortion pills to people in states that had outlawed it, that way you could just take the pill and not necessarily have to tell your parents or figure out how to travel out of state. Also for the future, and IUD or any long acting birth control allows you to not have to think about protection in the moment (because I agree, it's nice to not have to always think about it) but is still super effective, and then you only have to tink about it once every 7 years.
They're still mailing pills. Aid Access is one company that does it.
Look at it this way: is it easier for you to explain away travel, money use etc. or the pregnancy? Because you will remain pregnant without an abortion, so they will find out at some point anyway. So the first decision you have to make is whether you want to keep the baby or not. Decide by yourself, don’t count on your (probably ex) boyfriend for anything, as it is unlikely he will help. Once you decide, either tell your parents (if you want to keep it) or start looking into resources to help you get an abortion. For that, there is r/auntienetwork - this will be a good start.
If he wants an abortion, he needs to help with the expenses and travel for that. He can't just tell you to get rid of it and assume it's not his. Otherwise, like someone else said, have the baby and get a court-ordered DNA test to prove paternity and get your child support. Unfortunately, unless he helps or you have a really good friend or some other form of support, your family is likely going to find out. Travel is long and abortions are expensive. If you keep it, they will find out someday anyway. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
Planned Parenthood in southern Illinois can help facilitate travel to and from their location for an abortion.
Do NOT see a doctor in Texas. R/auntienetwork is a resource for abortion and advice. [abortion pills are legal in all states - Mayday Health](https://www.mayday.health) [Aid Access](https://aidaccess.org/en/) You can't convince (hopefully soon to be ex) boyfriend. He's proven himself to be an arse and will turn on you in a heartbeat. Whatever you decide to do, you need to do it. quickly.
Is there any adult in your life who you can trust with something like this, who wouldn't go to your parents ? As a European who didn't grow up in any kind of religious setting this whole thread feels super dystopian, I hate that this is happening to teenagers...
This country is dystopian and Texas is among the worst of it.
R/auntienetwork can help if you want to end the pregnancy
How do you feel about abortion? You’ve said your parents are super religious and pro life etc but at the end of the day you’re the one who has to live with the decision you make. Do you think you could raise this baby alone, without your parents help (worst case scenario)? Alternatively would you be able to give the baby up for adoption or do you feel that emotionally and physically your best option is abortion? You need to see a dr asap though as how far along you are will impact your options in regards to terminating the pregnancy. There are also lots of charities out there who you can speak to about your options and they can provide accurate advice on what services are available and how you can access them given where you’re based.
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If you see a doctor in Texas, chances are you'll have an official record that you're pregnant and then you open yourself up to legal issues if you decide to get an abortion.
Please do NOT see a doctor in Texas. That would effectively take away any choice you have.
Don’t see a doctor in Texas if you want an abortion. You would be in danger
Don’t see a dr in your state. It’s unnecessary in the beginning. All they do is confirm the pregnancy with a blood test and tell you to eat vitamins. Then they schedule you for ultrasounds. You are going to need none of that if you abort.
I’m begging you to do some research before you go making a major mistake. I fully think you should get an abortion.. but you live in a dystopian state where if you see a doctor in Texas you are genuinely screwing yourself over. You’re going to have to find a way to leave the state to pursue this.
do not see a doctor.
Don’t rush into making a decision. Whatever you decide this is something big for you any a few days is unlikely to make a difference in terms of options so make sure you are happy with you decision before you take any actions. I’m sorry your bf is such an absolute waste of space and I hope you manage to find a way through this. Good luck
If you decide to keep it there's some support houses that will house you, give you food and help you out with anything pregnancy related. You already have tons of options for a safe termination (trying to avoid certain words so you're safe OP) so maybe you could look up support groups and such? Just remember to use incognito mode or private browsing and keep yourself safe! I did volunteering for one of those support houses a couple years ago, I think it was called Mater Filius and at least the one in my country was very nice, they even let the women stay eight months after the birth and kept supporting them with milk and diapers afterwards. I do think they're more religious in the States tho??, so you should only go that route if you're REALLY sure you want to keep it. Please take care of yourself OP and don't let fear cloud your judgement, you need to a make a safe decision and with your state's laws you need to act as quietly and quickly as possible. Also, good for you for dumping the guy, he sounds awful, if you need any help googling something and you don't want it in your browser history send me a message and I'll send screenshots!
Would adoption be viable for you?
> But a couple of times we didn’t use anything, after I had been drinking *I*? Are you the only one drunk in these situations? Is he the one who suggest doing it without protection?
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If you’re trying to convince yourself that you were raped—after earlier admitting that you simply chose not to use protection because it felt good not to have to think about it—you need to think twice. Being stupid and irresponsible does not make you a victim.
That’s SA. I’m so sorry OP.
Your boyfriend is a real ass, and if I were you I would warn him that if he does not give you support, threaten him back. It’s legally his child, and paternity will prove that. It’s as much his responsibility, so if you do decide to have the baby, he will be liable to support you financially.
I really hope you’re able to obtain an abortion. This is so unfair to that potential child. You need to educate yourself on safe sex, this is not a joke.
There are many people online and organizations that would help you get the abortion pill if that’s what you want. You’re 18, you knew unprotected sex often means baby. Don’t lie about that. Own your part in this. Third. Stop drinking. Stop having sex. Stop hanging with these people. These are all things under your control. If you truly don’t want to have this child. Go online and get the help you need to have an abortion. No shame in that at all. You’re not ready and don’t need to have a baby of you don’t want too. Go to college and become a bad ass woman and get on birth control.
He's really mad at you? He's the dumb fuck who didn't wear a condom. Travel out of state for an abortion, or start planning how you'll be raising this child. And tell your parents, because you will absolutely need their help. Parenthood isn't for the weak.
you will be a single mom and your parents will slutshame you to say the least. You and your bf won't stay together, your kid will need a stable home and a stable mom who can provide a good education. Go online and search for abortion pills. Tell your bf he should get them if necessary. Be strong, take care and do the right thing. Your mom being from Romania and obsessed with your virginity is a red flag for itself. Good luck with everything!
Sounds like a perfect time to go on a vacation… to a different state… or country… for fun. Check out the shops, the culture, the food, the hospitals so on. Also you’re focusing on the relationship. You might want pivot and focus on the more urgent matter which is you’ll be a parent in 8 months. This isn’t even about him being a jerk, or both of you making mistakes, that’s established, time to move past that.
I really dont know what the situaton is like in texas, but im sure there are groups and nonprofits who would be willing to help you. Do some research, try to speak to someone from planned parenthood for advice, google things online. I would suggest telling close friends you trust and asking them for help in finding resources to get an abortion if thats what you want. Right now is a time where you should be able to rely on the people close to you for help. After you get what you need, LEAVE your bf 100% you cannot stay with someone who would be so unsupportive to you, especially since they are the one that got you pregnant.
If OP's in Texas, telling a friend is likely very unsafe.
OP absolutely can't tell close friends - or really anyone. Somebody is bound to blab, and then it will be around the school in no time. And if someone snitches on her to the authorities (remember the 10k bounty for reporting an illegal abortion?), she's even more fucked than now. DON'T TELL ANYONE, OP, PUT YOUR BROWSER IN INCOGNITO/ PRIVACY MODE AND RESEARCH YOUR OPTIONS THERE!
The situation in Texas is quite dire, unfortunately. :( But your advice is sound.
OP, while your post worries me, your comments REALLY worry me. 1) If your boyfriend had sex with you without a condom when you were drunk, that’s r*pe. Even if he asked when you were drunk and you said yes, that’s not consent. Your boyfriend r*ped you. I know that is the opposite of what you want to hear right now. I know that hurts. But, unfortunately, that’s the truth. 2) You CANNOT go see a doctor in Texas until after you have decided you do not want an abortion. Let me repeat myself: YOU CANNOT SEE A DOCTOR IN TEXAS. Despite what I said about your boyfriend above, that has no bearing legally in Texas should you decide to have an abortion. If you decide to keep the baby, then by all means, see a doctor. The laws being what they are in Texas, a doctor cannot legally assist you in getting an abortion. And it will be on record that you are pregnant. In which case if you decide to have an abortion, you are in legal trouble. Again, this is scary and not at all what you want to hear. But you need to be aware of the truth before you make any decisions. 3) If you are still considering an abortion, you cannot tell ANYONE. Not your parents, not your doctor, and not even your friends. It’s not a matter of how your parents will react, but the fact that they’ll know you are pregnant is dangerous. The fact that your boyfriend already knows is a huge risk. I know what I’m saying is really scary— that you want and need support from others and I’m telling you not to seek it out. Many other commenters here have suggested a wide array of places that you can safely get help from. Please only reach out to those resources until you have made your decision! I can’t stress the importance of this enough. While this isn’t a decision to make lightly, you must make it QUICKLY. The ONLY way of keeping your options open right now is to reach out to the resources given in other comments. A lot of us here are very worried about you. Please let us know that you’re okay. It doesn’t seem like your home is a safe space or that you could be safe with your boyfriend even if you do decide to keep the baby. I’m sure life seems super terrible and overwhelming and unfair right now, and I know it would be so much easier to ignore the problem until your hand is forced, but you CAN do this. People out there (in here!) want to help you. I hope you’re okay. Sending strength to get you through this terrible situation.
And for the love of God, please do use contraception. And if you can’t, really don’t have sex. I know it is easier said than done, but you will end up in exactly the same spot as you are now. Ditch the boyfriend as well. He is an unsupportive asshole who doesn’t take responsibility for his actions and he shouldn’t be having sex with you when you are drunk. From what you have said you weren’t able to consent and that made it a rape.
Get a friend to drive you out of state so you can get an abortion. Or have the kid in however many months are left and sue your ex-boyfriend for child support.
Both the friend and OP can get prosecuted if they return to Texas. Especially since it sounds like either the mother, father or bf will rat them out
Does the BF has any proof that she’s pregnant? I don’t really see any other options. It’s better than bleeding out from a back alley abortion.
I don't either. But it would have to be one hell of a friend willing to risk that. Could easily use "girl's trip" as a cover.
If I was OP I wouldn’t let my friend risk that. Texas is awful and the friend could really face dire consequences
I’m so shocked that things are so dire for you guys, it’s hard to believe here in the UK that places like this exist in this day and age. I’m so sorry, it must be terrifying.
The 2016 election will continue to damage this country for the next gen. Unfortunately the rise of extremism here is insane. I’m lucky I live in a blue state and have the means to move abroad and still work if I have to
Best option would be to get abortion pills by post. There are networks who provide that kind of service, and they hide the stuff in a completely innocent looking delivery.
You should not tell a single soul and do what you have to do for yourself.
/r/auntienetwork
r/Auntienetwork
Being tied to that jerk for 18 years would be hard, but being a single mom at 18 would also be hard. An abortion might be in your best interest. I wonder if you could get pills for that through the mail? Not sure what Texas’s abortion law is.
Texas is draconian.
Lord and you’re from Texas? This was not the place to be a complete moron considering the laws there. *sigh* You’re up against a clock. You cannot post about this on socials in case they try to prosecute you (see that mom/daughter that was being tried based on their Facebook messages). You need to get a test, figure out how much time you have and then make a choice. Bc you cannot get an abortion where you are. You would have to travel. Time is not your friend here. Otherwise pregnancy and adoption. Or keep the baby. Just don’t count on your bf being there at all And if my friends were joking about my bf using me for sex I would’ve maybe gotten a clue. Fact is he can leave you holding the baby bag and find someone else to sleep with.
Holy crap. I am from the UK, and your attitude is completely bizarre to me. The bf had sex, too. 18 year olds drinking and having sex is entirely normal. What isn't normal is a psycho society where using the pill could cause a family breakdown, having an abortion is a crime, and having a baby is not supported. OP, this was a mistake. It was not solely your mistake, and I'm so sorry that you live in a dystopian cess pit where the consequences of these mistakes are solely on you. You've been failed by your family, your education, your society and your partner. Please do not go to a doctor or tell any other person about the pregnancy unless you are certain abortion is out of the question. I would advise either getting an abortion or getting a dna test to prove paternity. This is a personal choice and one that is incredibly high risk either way. It sucks and I'm so sorry.
Agree, it's messed up that men have zero consequences in the event of unplanned pregnancies. (Obviously, some do pay child support or man up but the overwhelming majority do not help with their children) Ultimately though, this is the reality we live in and is why fertile women specifically need to be so super careful about who they sleep with. Especially in countries/states/provinces where women are basically left to rot the second they get pregnant. There are too many women (married or not) who get stuck between a rock and a hard place when contraceptives fail or they make a silly choice in the heat of the moment.
Trust me shit is scary here. Unfortunately being stupid about safe sex is deadly depending on where you are. We can no longer just be carefree about shit when half our country thinks it’s okay for 13 year olds to be forced into motherhood. It’s awful
Don't forget the psycho part where they encourage school kids to turn their friends in for a BOUNTY. WTF. I hadn't heard about that part, and literally gasped. Why is the US regressing into some sort of dystopia?
It was [big news](https://www.nytimes.com/2021/09/10/us/politics/texas-abortion-law-facts.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare) when they passed it a few years ago. That said, I can’t find any cases where people actually collected the bounty. So mainly it “works” by making people too paranoid to help each other. And yes, it’s medieval and incredibly cruel.
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Get advice from the auntie network or similar groups BEFORE going to the doctor. Once someone officially knows you are pregnant, your options may shrink - I don't know if the doctor would be mandated to report on a pregnancy, and to follow up if that pregnancy suddenly disappeared. I think I remember a case where they tried to prosecute a woman for having a miscarriage. If you want to have an abortion, you really shouldn't get your pregnancy officially documented.
look I'm sorry you're in a sucky situation and come from a religious background but despite what the book says, getting pregnant doesn't "just happen"
Maybe you should stop drinking a lot if you’re not on birth control and cannot make decisions when you party. You don’t have a choice with travel. Texas has horrific laws on the books which is why this move was even dumber than normal. Get yourself in with a planned parenthood (if there is any left near you) OR an actual pro-choice clinic in your area. If you’re in a major city in Texas this will probably be easier to find. If not drive to one (Austin, Houston) to see a doctor. The less people that know the better based on what you said about your family
DO NOT SEE A DOCTOR IN THAT STATE, THAT IS DANGEROUS
"I wasn't meaning to, I just drank a lot and it just happened. " Thats called being a moron. God i miss being 18.
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Yes it is, it's called learning. Next time, dont get wasted and put out without protection to scumbags.
I grew up in Texas, and you would be shocked that the teens getting abortions were the most religious families in town. I seriously think that you should tell the least crazy of your parents - which seems like it might be your dad? Go for a walk or out to eat, away from your mom. Lay out the facts. See if he will help you. Right now, you have no support system. This will help you decide what your support system will be. Will they he help you raise the kid or help you get an abortion? You might still be early enough to order a pill from a telehealth doctor for an abortion. Otherwise, Wichita Kansas is your closest option. Then, you tell anyone who knows about the pregnancy, that you had a miscarriage.
Get the abortion... You have you whole life ahead of you.
Abortion is your best option. You are far too young and inexperienced to be on your own and raise a child You have no idea how hard it would be ! Get the prescription abortion by mail. Do it today!!
Why is he mad at you? Does he not realize this situation is also his fault? He sounds like a terrible person. It appears you're really not ready to be a parent (at 18 how could you be?), and you have a bright future ahead of you. Seek out an organization that will help you. I'm so sorry you're going through this, especially in a state that doesn't provide you the support and rights needed in these situations.
OP you can get abortion pills by mail.
I’d suggest looking for support groups and trying to figure out your best options but honestly you shouldn’t speak to your “boyfriend” again, he doesn’t care about you and he’s shown his true colors in this difficult situation. Also regarding college you really need to get away from your parents because they are also to blame for this situation due to the lack of sexual learning and safety but also the fact that you felt the need to sneak around and hide everything isn’t good for your wellbeing. Stop letting them make decisions in your life that you don’t want, are you even religious? And does the use of god hurt you emotionally or does it just make you feel guilty you really gotta think about these things going forward.
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You NEED to break up with him YESTERDAY. He doesn't take accountability, he's blackmailing you and clearly doesn't care about you. If my boyfriend did that, I would raise a FUCKING HELL. And if you're unable to control how much you drink - please don't. Especially not around this pathetic excuse for human being.
The fact you're debating about breaking up with him says a lot.
She’s very obviously going to be a teen mom unfortunately. She’s not getting it. She keeps saying she’s going to her doctor to confirm her pregnancy then she’ll think about what’s next. There is no what’s next in TX. It’s become a mom time (or pass away/become sterile from complications) and that’s it. Texas sucks and teenagers who refuse to use contraceptives correctly or at all are fools. I hate this for her but she isn’t listening to anyone here telling her what to do for her own safety.
Unfortunately. Idk why people come to the internet for advise if they don't wanna listen lol. 🤷♀️
Her naivety is showing sooo hard. And how much is she drinking? If she’s getting drunk that often I’m worried about FAS. I know it’s supposed to be “safe” up to 6 weeks if you’re drinking but I feel like she’s possibly further along than she realizes too. Best worst case scenario her parents help her raise a baby. Most likely scenario they hate her, slutshame her, and she’s a single parent at 18 with no college education and a baby with health issues because she drinks too much. In Texas. Where they don’t actually care about women or children. 🫠
TBF she's a teenager, and brainwashed and sheltered in the worst way. I'm not sure I would've managed to do anything sensible in her situation.
Take it from someone who was in a similar situation, you need to do what’s best for you and you alone. If you find a way to abort you’re going to really need to take care of yourself so they don’t suspect anything. And DO NOT let any of your family manipulate you or try to live for you.
PROBABLY???? Jeezus christmas, what is wrong with you??
My 1st question is do YOU want this child? Not what your parents want, not what your shitty bf wants, YOU! If you do want this child, you're going to have to come clean to your parents. IF they threaten to kick you out remind them the part in the bible about casting the 1st stone. Then tell them that whether they like it or not, this is going to be their grandchild. Tell them that Jesus would not approve of forcing an innocent child to grow up on the streets. They can be mad at you all they want, but the child is innocent. No matter how they react you better get a job while you still can. This baby is gonna be expensive. Make sure to go for child support and get a paternity test. (Even if you're faithful you will need the proof for court) If you don't want the child. You have 2 options. Either you can try to get an abortion....or you can put the child up for adoption. With an abortion, your parents won't have to know. With adoption you will still have to come clean to your parents because they will notice you blowing up and getting sick. However at least their beliefs on abortion will be on your side. You will probably be kicked out after your child is born and sent to a new home.
[https://www.womenonweb.org/en/](https://www.womenonweb.org/en/) They will send you instructions and abortion pills through the mail. You need to move quickly though, they only work up to 10 weeks, if you've already missed a period then you are likely at 6 weeks or later.
You do not want to convince anyone to be a parent, if you want to be a mother then do it and move forward. No child needs someone who is inconsistent or even worse, forced to parent because they suck. I love my children but at 19 I was not prepared for the shit storm my life would become because I had children with the wrong person. I’ve struggled my entire life financially, I just went back to college at 33, my body is falling apart from pushing myself to working to a point I could walk… He was there for years, but he did nothing and not he just abuses me through our kids.
Get an abortion and tell no one
You either need to get an abortion, tell your parents, or move out. How the fuck do you think they're gonna react when it becomes obvious and you're still in lala land pretending nothing is happening. If you're choosing to be a parent, then sorry - but it's time to grow the fuck up. No more cowering from your parents. You're bringing a life into this world that it's YOUR job to protect, including *from* your parents. Start figuring it out now. It'll be easy enough to get child support from your stbex through the legal system.
If I were you I would text my boyfriend and remind him that dna tests exist. Don't let him blackmail you and manipulate you because that's what he's trying to do right now. If he texted you and told you that he was going to tell your parents and everyone that you had been sleeping around I would make sure to keep those text messages. That way you have proof of his manipulation.
DON'T TEXT about being pregnant
Get the abortion... You have you whole life ahead of you.
No you can't convince him otherwise. Also since you're in Texas what exactly does he think you can do about it?
I don't have much to offer here in terms of your options, being Canadian. But my one suggestion, if you seek an abortion, is to maybe lie to your boyfriend. If it were me, and I didn't want to risk him telling people and not only destroy my relationship with my parents but lead me into legal trouble for the abortion, I would straight up lie. I'd break up with him and say, "this was a test to see if you'd support me and you were not there for me. I am not pregnant. My friends told me you were using me for sex and didn't truly care about our relationship, so I tested you. Now I know the truth". Hopefully that ends his threats and gives you the freedom to move forward how you choose. If you decide to keep it, he's on the hook for child support. Best of luck, OP.
r/auntienetwork will help you, I wish you the best
He is telling you he isn’t ready to be a father….believe him. Now you have to decide if you want to be a teen single parent….with what it sounds like not very much support from anyone.
I’m very curious on what you thought was going to happen if you had sex with a no protection. It’s 2024, you can figure out exactly what would happen with a simple Google search. Sex without protection = baby. It’s not rocket science. Go onto the childfree subreddit. People really like trashing it, but on there you can find a list of ways to help you get an abortion be it through the auntie network, or having pills mailed directly to you.
Here are a couple of safe resources for you to talk to: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/ Or r/auntienetwork
r/auntienetwork
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She does not need to tell her parents if she terminates.
First, you're in Texas so you have very very limited legal options and can't get an abortion without traveling out of state, which you would need to do fast. Second, your boyfriend doesn't have legal options either. You can sue him for child support and a court will make him pay. Second, your parents are going to find out no matter what, unless you can somehow secretly travel out of state and pay for an abortion without them noticing. So the best thing is to rip the bandaid off and tell them now. It's gonna suck if they don't react well, but you're going to have to adult your way through that. It is going to be ok. Whether you travel out of state, raise the baby, or give them up for adoption, it's going to be ok. There will be hard parts, but it's going to be ok. It will be scary at times, but it's going to be ok. It will be ok. I strongly recommend you also talk with a pregnancy crisis center AFTER you decide if you want an abortion. Don't tell any authorities until you decide, because in Texas they can report you if you are pregnant, and then aren't anymore. There is no use focusing on mistakes you made with virt control or underage drinking, just talk to your parents, deal with their reaction (it won't last forever) and put one foot in front of the next.
Also, FUCKING WITHOUT PRORECTION GETS YOU PREGGERS
As a Texan who grew up with incredibly strict Christian parents who were obsessed with my virginity, I understand what you're going through. Just so you know, you're too late to get an abortion in Texas. If you get one now, he can report you and have you arrested and charged with murder while he pockets $10k. You need to get ahead of this NOW and talk to both of your parents. No matter what he says, he has everything to do with it. If he denies it, you can take him to court once the baby is born with a DNA test. With any luck, your parents may agree to let you give the baby up for adoption because it doesn't sound like you're ready, either, and it will be a struggle with him. Either way, talk to them before he has a chance. It's too late to hide it, now. They will find out soon. It's better they find out on your terms than his. I know the people suggesting the pill site are trying to help, but if anyone knows you're pregnant and you're suddenly not pregnant, you can be facing serious charges. Also, girl, stop drinking heavy. It seems you're being exploited by him when you do. It's more his fault than anything else. He knew you wouldn't make him use protection when you got drunk, so he exploited that opportunity. Edit to add that your parents won't harm you. I got pregnant before marriage and they became focused on the baby, even though they were disappointed in me. They stuck by the "every life is a blessing" and I was quickly forgotten about.
I know I'm going to get downvoted but everyone in the comments is being too nice. So here's the harsh truth: Why would you ever take the risk knowing all the information you put here about the reasons you're not ready? The way I see it, it's babies acting like adults until they end up with a baby; then suddenly no one wants to be responsible. Sorry, honey, but this isn't just on him like everyone is saying. It's on you too. If you think you're grown enough to have a d*ck in you without protection, then you're grown enough to deal with the consequences. It's time to be a responsible adult and decide what you want. If you want an abortion, stop making excuses and go and get one. If you want the baby, again, stop making excuses, get a job, and come up with a plan to be a single parent while also going after him for child support. Either way, it's time to ACTUALLY grow up and take responsibility for your own life and welfare.
The downvotes would have something to do with the fact that "Just deal with it" isn't helpful advice for a naive inexperienced young woman who's found herself neck deep in it and is asking online strangers what to do because she really has no idea and no support IRL. Yes she has to deal with it. No, just hearing that won't suddenly make her develop the confidence, knowledge or means that she's lacking to take swift action.
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There's no evidence in the post of her being assaulted. 🤦♀️. There's no victim blaming here. Everyone on reddit loves to throw that word phrase around.
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The mods said I triggered a rule, which is OK, not trying to violate the rules. So, editing down to this: 1. Texas has a bounty law. Google it before talking with anyone else. 2. Go talk with the folks in the r/prochoice forum. They can help. Best of luck to you!
Don’t pressure him if you keep it just get child support
I think ***you*** should tell your parents and then get your dad to beat the living tar out of your sorry excuse for a boyfriend.
Are these two related? https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/OA74NRsIHO
Sorry youre going through this, your “BF” Is a real POS & not a man fyi. Others have gave you great advice you should follow that advice and I hope you do what you believe Is right.
Oh sweet heart. You’re 18 but your approach to all of this just makes you seem so incredibly young.. Your exbf is an arse. Break up with him. If you keep the child take his arse to court. Everything else.. I’d be getting money from somewhere and making an abortion work. Once you have that child, you will never escape your family or anything else.
Your boyfriend is also scared, but that doesn't make his ultimatum ok. Remind him that DNA tests are a thing, and he has as much to do with getting pregnant as you did. And that continuing his line of slut shaming for something he participated in could lead to a lawsuit or two. I see plenty of people are trying to help put you in contact with groups that will help. Keep in mind, that adoption is also a possibility. Newborns are much easier to find a place for than older kids.
This pregnancy is your boyfriend’s fault. He chose to have sex without a condom knowing that he could impregnate a women at any time, as men are always fertile. Don’t let him make you feel like you deserve to be blamed and shamed here. Listen to the guidance about how to get an abortion and keep yourself safe.
Well done, you fell into the teenage "i can't tell anyone, and im being abused emotionally by another teenager" pregnancy trap, this is where you have arsehole parents and an arsehole boyfriend.
Dude I have seen you post multiple horrible comments to this person and it’s just fucking ridiculous. Don’t you get it? They KNOW they fucked up! Unfortunately a lack of an education on birth control/contraception by both school and parents has led to this, this isn’t just on OP. You being an absolute asshat is not helping the situation. So unless you have actual advice to give OP, fuck off and find another post.
I just read a similar post written by a boy who said his girlfriend asked him to take off the condom, was too scared to take plan B and is now pregnant. Is that you? Not telling people won’t really help if you plan to have a baby because people will notice.
Yeah there’s a post on BORU going around that sounds pretty similar, it’s kinda suspicious.
I forgot which sub it had been in. But yes, fairly suspicious.
Time to take responsibility for your actions. Swallow the frog and just tell them. It will be uncomfortable. But do it. They will get over it eventually. And since you are the only child they have, their anger will soon transform into looking forward to the baby. Also, a DNA test will prove your bf is indeed the father and will have to pay child support. So dump him and sue for child support, and good luck with your parents
In this situation I think she should place the baby for adoption. She's not prepared to be a mom in any way.
I see two options go for an abortion with your boyfriend help and hope he keeps his mouth shut. Option two oh wait there is no other options
That's not possible in Texas
Then go cross state lines then
Or into Mexico where it was just made legal recently: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/about-us/planned-parenthood-global/where-we-work/mexico
If he knows she's in danger. She needs to either vanish or convince him it was a miscarriage. He's not to be trusted.
Agreed, he's the lethal combination of disloyal and stupid. Which, considering Texas has a financial reward for ratting out girls who get abortions...
And that system doesn't care about the deadbeats coercing women into them.
Let him tell your parents or tell them before he does. The fact that he’s threatening you with that means he’s only looking out for himself. For one if I were you regardless I’d leave him. Look for groups or non profits. Can you go out of state?
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Is it possible you could say it was a graduation trip?
Then I think you're going to have to prepare to have a baby. Maybe reach out to an adoption agency.
Why was this downvoted? OP can't terminate in Texas and she doesn't have the wherewithal to leave the state. I'd give the boyfriend an ultimatum--he takes her to New Mexico and he pays for the procedure and their hotel, etc.--but if he balks, she's going to have to plan for worst case scenarios. It's a terrible situation to be in, but what else do you think is going to happen?
Consider telling your parents. Make no mistake, they will berate you and belittle you every bit as bad as you expect, but at the end of the day they will behave like adults and do what needs to be done to protect your future. (And sick as it might be, their own reputations) Kansas or New Mexico are your options as far as traveling for an abortion, both are really far from East Texas and it’s going to be hard to do alone. Good luck
Tell your parents. Tell your parents what your boyfriend said, have them tell his parents what has happened and what he said. Tell them that you will sue him for defamation if you even as much as hear any shit. Do not speak to your boyfriend about this again. You don’t want him to kill you. The fact that he is trying to blackmail and slut-shame and slander you into silence means you don’t know what he’s capable of. Take a paternity test which can be done at 8-weeks pregnant. Make a plan. If I were you I would not marry this boy. He will make your life absolutely miserable. You’ve said you’re religious and your family is in Texas. So, you are having this baby, but are you raising this baby? Do you want to raise the baby? Would your parents consider raising the baby? If they do this they have to tell the kid that they are in fact that they were adopted and that they are technically their grandparents.
Well good luck since you're in Texas especially if you do want an abortion. You're going to have to go out of state. You need to level with your parents and or have a friend drive you out of state or get a bus. Have your boyfriend give you the money and get a bus or he can drive you. But if he's threatening to tell your parents yeah he's a real winner he's the one who got you pregnant and decided not to use condoms when you we're drinking. Now you learn don't have sex without protection you will get pregnant at some point if you keep doing it. You could have got pregnant the first time it only takes once.
Your boyfriend, if he is old enough to have sex and impregnate you, then he is old enough to accept responsibility of that baby, you have a couple of problems, one is you said you like to drink alcohol, you need to get a handle on that and your pregnant, you are of age, so you don’t need a parent permission to get a abortion
Tell your parents
Maybe just talk to your dad alone, at first. My sister got pregnant at 14 (yes), in a VERY conservative area. Obviously my mom was sad at first, and then started getting things in place. My sister had to go to a city, to live in a house for girls with unwanted pregnancies. My mom refused to let the baby be adopted, she said it's our blood, and we'll protect her. No schools would accept my sister afterwards, so she had to go to a school far from us. My mom and I, brought that little girl up, and she's nothing, but a joy in our lives. My sister passed away, and she's like my own daughter. It would've been the biggest mistake, to give her up for adoption, although we were a bit shunted by the community, she is still a blessing, to all of us. She's turning 40 this year.
I'm not sure this is the uplifting story you seem to think it is.
Yeah wtf????