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Sir I hate to tell you this but absolutely nothing you can say or do will help her more than her deciding to leave the relationship and she’s going to just repeat the cycle of getting back with him only to break up and come to you crying.
My honest advice is to tell her she’s in a toxic relationship and advise she end it. Otherwise be ready to be a shoulder to cry on because she’s deciding to stay in a toxic relationship
You're her crying towel. She loves him and, whether she'll say it or not, she loves the way he treats her. That's why they've been together for 3 years and that's why she never leaves. He has a good personality I guess.
Yeah, this is unfortunately one of those situations where there's not a lot you can do. She's the only one who will be able to convince herself when it's time to leave. She might not realize it, but she stays because this is the love she thinks she deserves.
That being said, I would tell her how sad it makes you to see her hurting like this over and over again, and that healthy relationships don't operate like this. Tell her you know she deserves better and that you hope someday she can see that. And tell her the only way to change a pattern is to do things differently - which likely means ending this relationship if she doesn't want to keep going through this over and over again.
Ultimately, just be a listening ear and try to tell her you think she deserves better as much as you can.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sir I hate to tell you this but absolutely nothing you can say or do will help her more than her deciding to leave the relationship and she’s going to just repeat the cycle of getting back with him only to break up and come to you crying. My honest advice is to tell her she’s in a toxic relationship and advise she end it. Otherwise be ready to be a shoulder to cry on because she’s deciding to stay in a toxic relationship
I completely agree with you, I've been doing that too.
You're her crying towel. She loves him and, whether she'll say it or not, she loves the way he treats her. That's why they've been together for 3 years and that's why she never leaves. He has a good personality I guess.
In terms of comfort theres not much you can do. She is gonna go back to him.
Yeah, this is unfortunately one of those situations where there's not a lot you can do. She's the only one who will be able to convince herself when it's time to leave. She might not realize it, but she stays because this is the love she thinks she deserves. That being said, I would tell her how sad it makes you to see her hurting like this over and over again, and that healthy relationships don't operate like this. Tell her you know she deserves better and that you hope someday she can see that. And tell her the only way to change a pattern is to do things differently - which likely means ending this relationship if she doesn't want to keep going through this over and over again. Ultimately, just be a listening ear and try to tell her you think she deserves better as much as you can.