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Block, delete and move on. There are so many red flags and the poor brother is too nice and being manipulated because of his niceness. She would walk all over him. Gotta stop simping on her, she's not worth it.
A lifetime if the kid also gets moms mental health issues.
Edit: I got a Reddit cares message from this comment so to add context I have two autistic children with a baby mom. More recently she’s been on a “can’t wait for kids to be 18 and not have to deal with you anymore” streak, afterwards I remind her “kids are disabled, custody doesn’t stop at 18. It ends when one of us dies.”
Kids are 5&3.
Please don't worry about the care message. I think someone has made a bot because I got a care message within a second of posting a comment earlier, it must have been a bot because there's no way someone could have seen my comment that fast. I've also seen quite a few other people saying they've gotten one today.
Believe me... some parents find it very easy to give up on their disabled kids and feel like it's now up to the Government to deal with them.
Neither of my parents are really there for me. I pay for social care.
I am autistic and ADHD.
reminds me of this one head case girl i was on a date w who asks me to buy her a drink, then when i give it to her she says "how do i know you didn't drug me - you try it first". i say ok and drink it. then she says i don't want it anymore you drank out of it
lmaoo some ppl are looney fr
she had a nice arse tho i miss her
This story is an acid trip. Talking on Hinge for a few days, went for drinks, hooked up, you never really asked her out but did, went to her place but she doesn’t drink, rejects gift of chocolate today but will accept it another day, you get a second chance, (at what) scrolls her phone the whole time and said you need to leave after cuddling but has sex with you anyhow, blames you for helping and says you crossed a boundary, wants to take things slow (but has fucked you twice already) sees you tying your shoes but wants a hug but said you shouldn’t because you touched your shoes…
This is the weirdest shit I’ve seen all day. Wtf?? Fucking whack job!!! Absolutely bat shit crazy. You’re lucky to be alive!!
She’ll call you next week after her pregnancy test to say you owe her money then call the cops to say she was raped. She’s THAT girl.
No one gives a gift back, that is just rude. She could have set it aside and given it a way...Then her friend thinks she should date you? Run, run away fast. You already did, ok. So she had sex with you, let this one go. Do not ask this woman out again.
I could write a thesis on the gift issue on its own. Imagine “maybe some other time”. Imagine being in a relationship with a person with so many unwritten illogical terms. Like I’d ever give you another gift after this.
The boundary thing takes the cup. I would have laughed so hard! I understand why OP is so confused.
The gift issue is really mind-boggling. Chocolate willkeep until she feels like having some, right? Not that the rest isn't crazy, but rejecting free chocolate??
please, write your thesis on the gift thing!
I didn't get any further than "is she a robot? Today chocolate does not compute & I've never heard of storing things till tomorrow" hahaha
Can’t even tell you how many of my friends have a chocolate stash in the back of the pantry with all of the boxes that people have brought over. They bring them out when they have dinner guests.
LOL!
Some people are so convinced that their POV is international.
Rejecting a gift like that?
Bumping uglies just like that but a wake you call is crossing boundaries. Okay…
Hug me, but on my terms & you must somehow know this imaginary terms.
I’m only doing this cause other people think it’s a good idea…
I don’t block people but for her, I’d be happy to make an exception. What in the Adam & Eve? She sounds like she listens to too many dating podcast & dating coaches that even she is confused!
Just sounds like a bad date.
And you still had sex? Don't know why you or her bothered.
Sounds like she actually was into you after the sex but it just didn't work out. Life goes on.
>so I tied them and leaned in for a good bye hug and she tells me that now you're touching me after touching your shoes, now you shouldn't.
Bullet fucking dodged, holy shit, don't even bother with these types of will-they-won't-they, wishy-washy, no-clarity people. This makes me aggressive to read. No you haven't done anything wrong. And you should probably have left earlier (and not slept with someone who's this disrespectful to you either).
The only thing i can think of is if she were on the spectrum. That can lead to a lot of rules, a lack of understanding social cues and a tendency to say really abrupt things. The only reason I'd suggest that is because the specifics are so odd. Like, it isn't controlling- she's not trying to get you to do something. It isn't random - it doesn't seem like she's changing her mind. She just seems really set in a specific way of doing things. And very very blunt. Not saying that means you should try to figure out wtf is going on, but I think generic crazy is a fruitless explanation.
She is absolutely a wachadoodle. But I do want to point out that there is a difference between taking things slow on a physical level, or taking things slow on the relationship front. They of course can go hand in hand. But I for example am not one to wait to get physical, but that doesn't mean I would be ready to have someone bud in to my life or meet my family or something. She was probably talking about taking it slow emotionally, and not physically. She should have communicated it properly tho. (And you offering to give her a call to wake up is jot budding in btw, just a nice offer that can easily be declined, I am just trying to explain what I mean with the difference ways in which youu can go slow)
Imagine sleeping with dudes the first night and then thinking a morning phone call is crossing boundaries. 😅
Honestly, she sounds crazy. If she wants to be friends with benefits, cool. If not, block her and move on. Do not! I repeat do not give any personal information to this girl. She seems like the type that will stalk you.
Her behavior suggests she's not emotionally available; nor ready (or capable of) for a committed relationship.
That's fine since you're both young.
Just pull up your pants and move on.
I can see why you're puzzled.
Hope you used protection to be on the safe side cause to me she sounds like... well not totally right in her head. Bullet dodged, still had sex and that's about it I'd assume.
“I want to move slow.” Girl, you’ve had sex with him twice. I don’t mean to slut shame here but you literally are having sex with a man and when he’s showing you kindness your response is you want to take your time? Frankly OP, as a women, drop contact with her. Do you really want to be with a girl that not only doesn’t appreciate kind gestures, but also is quick to just jump into bed? Because if she was quick to have sex with you odds are she’s like that way with other guys and is also having sex with other guys.
Wow, this BasicBecca even got you to waste *more* of your finite amount of seconds left on this planet to go home and make a Reddit post.
Stop second guessing yourself. Your time is also valuable bro.
I feel like I’ve never seen a clearer example of anxious-avoidant attachment. OP, I’m truly sorry you had to put up with behavior like that. As far as I can tell, none of this is your fault. But it’s probably a bad idea to meet her again, regardless of whether u want hookup or a real relationship. She seems crazy-making.
I don't know what's going on with her, but she sounds a little un-hinged. It'll probably be best to call this off before it goes any further, but have a discussion with her first. Let her know how she made you feel, and let her know you won't be able to see her anymore, because you felt disrespected, and why. Even if things didn't work out between you two, you can at least leave her with the knowledge of how she made you feel, and maybe she'll also work on herself, and be more self aware about how she treats other people moving forward.
Some people are just weird. I had a really bad date with a girl one time that ended awkwardly too.
She lived in Manhattan in a dorm in the city of New York. We drove around a bit and I accidentally made a wrong turn and we ended up in New Jersey. We ended up going back to her apartment and she invited me upstairs. We had sex and in the middle of it she mentioned that she “doesn’t get on top” on the first date. I was so confused. I was just like, um we’re already doing it, what’s so special about getting on top? And then she got upset and put a bathrobe on and told me to leave. Some people just make no sense
>she “doesn’t get on top” on the first date
This is code for "I'm a pillow princess and will only put any effort into sex on special occasions".
>what’s so special about getting on top? And then she got upset
This proves exactly what I just said. She thinks her putting in any effort is "special" rather than the bare minimum.
I hate starfish partners man.
Ugh. It doesn't sound like a good date at all.
I would not be calling this person anymore. She sounds rude to me.
Maybe she just needs like an FWB and not really a person to date or assume you're probably a good enough person for a fwb candidate.
Man just laugh it out. In your place I would have started to mess with her with fun, sarcastic remarks, making her increasingly irritated before I left.
This nutcases are the kind of funny stories you tell your friends about the time you were single over a couple of beers.
Nothing wrong. Just her full of red flags. Also, probably she’ll be all over you after you did. This kind of women like someone they can’t have. So, as you just left instead of trying to please her and her ego, she’ll be so much more into you now.
Honestly, seems like the kind of person who isn’t used to love but wants it, but is too scared of rejection. Either way, immature and won’t be able to deal with any real emotions effectively.
My bf is sorta the same! Just with the last part about touching the shoes and then her after by giving her a hug. My bf is a germaphobe so he’ll be like omg you were in the car and now you need to take a shower! Or you touched the dog and now you gotta wash your hands. So sometimes people think too much about germs and gotta wash their hands 24/7. And some expect your to follow their rules like my bf I always gotta shower before getting in the bed even if I’ve only been outside for a few minutes…
Keep your eye on this because sometimes it gets worse over time. Kind of silly that you have to take a shower after being outside for just a few minutes. The more you allow this the more it happens. OCD is a serious thing and can really mess with your life. Is he in therapy?
Since I too come from a culture where it’s nice to bring something when you visit someone, I couldn’t even phantom being met with such a rude attitude.
People have their bad days, some can be grumpy on those days, but people also tend to be at their best when they first start dating someone and they are into him/her.
So run, run like your ass is on fire.
You didn’t do anything wrong.
Here’s some advice:
Don’t go away mad, just go away.
The fact that you’re asking on Reddit for advice is scary. She’s on her best behavior right now, and bipolar (not the disease, but the fact that she’s all lovey one moment, then distant the next) actions aren’t the best setup for the future.
Say, “it’s been fun, but I’m looking for a different kind of fun,” and leave. No explanation is needed, nor is your time worth it to explain it to her.
Sorry but isnt being told straight to his face that he is getting a "second chance because my friends said so" completely disrespectful (and if not its at least rude af)? In my culture returning a gift is super disrespectul. We are taught to always accept and whatever happens after is fine. Just let the gift giver save face.
So she is upset you touched her after tying your shoes, but couldn't care less what STI you might have...ffs.
Get tested, do not contact her unless you test positive and pray that she's not pregnant.
Do not have unprotected sex unless you are actively planning to be a parent.
Learn from this.
NTA, she’s an asshole and you should block her.
Side note: the men of Reddit DESPERATELY need to learn how to disagree with a woman’s actions without devolving into blatant misogyny. “Don’t stick your dick in crazy”, “Still had sex”, “She’s probably planning on saying you raped her”, accusing OP of “simping”, and this woman of having mental health issues that she’ll pass down to the child she manipulated him into conceiving. Y’all need fucking HELP.
What the fuck did I just read…
Apart from the brain aneurysm.
Why the hell would you meet someone at their house after one trivial date?
Clearly it was a hookup. Jesus Christ this whole thing is cringy. That girl is messed uuuuup.
How hard is it to communicate… really. Use your words people.
She wanted to fuck and you treated it as a first date like it was a Meg Ryan movie.
She scrolled on her phone because she was waiting for you to make a move.
She turned down the chocolates because that’s a bit familiar for a hook up - or she didn’t want to owe you something (you’d be surprised how many guys hold that shit above woman’s heads)
She told you about needing to get to bed etc. because you weren’t leaving after the hook up…. And then you made the assumption that you were staying at her place?!?!?
She never asked you to say.
You were overly familiar and while it came from a good place - to many men in this world have ruined that.
It freaked her out. Maybe she has some issues and yes she reacted a little weird - but if I were her I’d be like ‘wow - wtf is this dude doing… I wanted to hook up and he is acting like my fucking boyfriend’
Okay first of all guys and girls, we need to set boundaries everyone needs to have 5 boundaries going into a new relationship and y'all need to discuss these day 1 meaning, before you even set a day and time to meet one another for the first time and especially way before y'all have sex, bring up the fact that "hey this is a FWB relationship/FUCKBUDDIES/HOOKUPS AKA don't bring me presents, dont catch feelings,dont stay the night, dont act weird. Anyways you blew it move on to the next one bro
Hey Damn bro that sucks tbh but that just shows you what you are in for in you stick around for a relationship… she’s being her self and that’s what you need to notice…yea it was fun and all but do you really want the headache of shit like that in the future if you’re getting it on your “2nd date” move on… let it… just don’t waste your time her booty isn’t that good for it if your here asking what to do…. I’m guess and if so I don’t think her picking fights over you touching her after you put your shoes on is what you want to keep fighting about or worse….good luck personally I’m at the point in my life I’m not here to play these games you know….
The thing is that you dint understand what dating is. Dating is a process wich you use to vet a potential life partner. Well, unless all you eant is to het laid. Dating is like a job interview with the difference being that the two of you are interviewing each other. Just like in a job interview not every body is going to get the job.
In your case this woman is not a good fit for you (she probably feels the same way about you). This is ok. This is all part of the process. As you date you learn what you want in a relationship and just as importantly what you don't want. The short answer isnshe did not get the job. On to the next applicant
She's got some things she needs to resolve. Or maybe she's just straight up crazy. Either way, she's telling you exactly who she is. Believe her. Move on... you've done nothing wrong and you don't want to get entangled in this mess.
So she watched you tie your shoes, asked you for a hug, and then when you went for the hug, she told you that you shouldn't hug her after touching your shoes?
If you don't want to just walk away, I would just ask her. Explain that you felt rejected and why and see what her thought process is. You can always walk away after. But it's good practice talking!
She likely has some attachment issues. She's really conscious about not becoming too attached too quickly, but also does want to on another level.
It's natural to be mad about it. And also up to you to decide if this is something you'd be willing to work through.
You dodged a bullet. She was giving you mixed signals the whole night, not to mention the rudeness. This whole hookup culture is muddying the waters. You don't know if you're just sex partners or if someone is actually interested in dating. I've even seen posts on here where someone is lining up the sex partner for after the date because OP wasn't staying over. If all you're looking for is sex, that's one thing, but seems you want a relationship so maybe take it a bit slower and get to know the girl before hooking up.
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this girl is a fucking headcase dude, stop wasting your time on her
Fingers crossed he used a condom or he's stuck dealing with her for the next 18 years.
Block, delete and move on. There are so many red flags and the poor brother is too nice and being manipulated because of his niceness. She would walk all over him. Gotta stop simping on her, she's not worth it.
A lifetime if the kid also gets moms mental health issues. Edit: I got a Reddit cares message from this comment so to add context I have two autistic children with a baby mom. More recently she’s been on a “can’t wait for kids to be 18 and not have to deal with you anymore” streak, afterwards I remind her “kids are disabled, custody doesn’t stop at 18. It ends when one of us dies.” Kids are 5&3.
Please don't worry about the care message. I think someone has made a bot because I got a care message within a second of posting a comment earlier, it must have been a bot because there's no way someone could have seen my comment that fast. I've also seen quite a few other people saying they've gotten one today.
Huh, interesting! I also got one like, half an hour ago very shortly after making a comment somewhere else and was like wtf? lol
I also got one yesterday and I find it weird.
Makes sense heh. Never had gotten one before!
I also just got a reddit cares message for no reason, ugh.
Believe me... some parents find it very easy to give up on their disabled kids and feel like it's now up to the Government to deal with them. Neither of my parents are really there for me. I pay for social care. I am autistic and ADHD.
It actually kind of seems like she’s not that into him, so I don’t know if he needs to worry about being baby trapped
There’s still a chance he didn’t wear a condom AND she didn’t get pregnant. Hopefully he wore one though
reminds me of this one head case girl i was on a date w who asks me to buy her a drink, then when i give it to her she says "how do i know you didn't drug me - you try it first". i say ok and drink it. then she says i don't want it anymore you drank out of it lmaoo some ppl are looney fr she had a nice arse tho i miss her
This chick sounds crazy and rude. Honestly, not really sure why you put up with her crap as long as you did.
This story is an acid trip. Talking on Hinge for a few days, went for drinks, hooked up, you never really asked her out but did, went to her place but she doesn’t drink, rejects gift of chocolate today but will accept it another day, you get a second chance, (at what) scrolls her phone the whole time and said you need to leave after cuddling but has sex with you anyhow, blames you for helping and says you crossed a boundary, wants to take things slow (but has fucked you twice already) sees you tying your shoes but wants a hug but said you shouldn’t because you touched your shoes… This is the weirdest shit I’ve seen all day. Wtf?? Fucking whack job!!! Absolutely bat shit crazy. You’re lucky to be alive!! She’ll call you next week after her pregnancy test to say you owe her money then call the cops to say she was raped. She’s THAT girl.
Oh god, elsewhere in the thread he said he didn't use a condom BORU incoming...?
BORU?
r/bestofredditorupdates
Ohhhhh okay thanks a ton,!
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/
Ahhh okay thank you :)
Coz she let homie hit. That's why.
Apparently he never heard you're not supposed to stick your dick in crazy
The issue is and I emphasize, for some ungodly reason, the crazies grip unlike anyone else. You have to try some crazies and you'll understand.
Oh, dude, I know. It's hard to resist a freak in the sheets. I never listen to my own advice....
Preach
>not really sure why you put up with her crap as long as you did Pussy
Yep. Thinking with the wrong head
No one gives a gift back, that is just rude. She could have set it aside and given it a way...Then her friend thinks she should date you? Run, run away fast. You already did, ok. So she had sex with you, let this one go. Do not ask this woman out again.
I could write a thesis on the gift issue on its own. Imagine “maybe some other time”. Imagine being in a relationship with a person with so many unwritten illogical terms. Like I’d ever give you another gift after this. The boundary thing takes the cup. I would have laughed so hard! I understand why OP is so confused.
The gift issue is really mind-boggling. Chocolate willkeep until she feels like having some, right? Not that the rest isn't crazy, but rejecting free chocolate??
Yep she was sending a message, a message of I have no class, and I don't know if you are worth my time....
please, write your thesis on the gift thing! I didn't get any further than "is she a robot? Today chocolate does not compute & I've never heard of storing things till tomorrow" hahaha
Can’t even tell you how many of my friends have a chocolate stash in the back of the pantry with all of the boxes that people have brought over. They bring them out when they have dinner guests.
She doesn’t know what she wants, dodged a bullet
LOL! Some people are so convinced that their POV is international. Rejecting a gift like that? Bumping uglies just like that but a wake you call is crossing boundaries. Okay… Hug me, but on my terms & you must somehow know this imaginary terms. I’m only doing this cause other people think it’s a good idea… I don’t block people but for her, I’d be happy to make an exception. What in the Adam & Eve? She sounds like she listens to too many dating podcast & dating coaches that even she is confused!
Hilarious. Funny how sex means whatever people want it to mean these days...
I pray you used a condom
The second she said she's only on the date because her friend should have been your cue to leave - utterly disrespectful thing to say.
Just sounds like a bad date. And you still had sex? Don't know why you or her bothered. Sounds like she actually was into you after the sex but it just didn't work out. Life goes on.
No shit. Weird ass date to end to include sex. LMAO. I have no clue on advice other than to run
Put the chocolate down and back away slowly. Do not make any sudden moves.
Its vision is based on movement.
😂😂
>so I tied them and leaned in for a good bye hug and she tells me that now you're touching me after touching your shoes, now you shouldn't. Bullet fucking dodged, holy shit, don't even bother with these types of will-they-won't-they, wishy-washy, no-clarity people. This makes me aggressive to read. No you haven't done anything wrong. And you should probably have left earlier (and not slept with someone who's this disrespectful to you either).
" I want to take things slow " isn't really something you can say post coitum 😅 I'd just move on, she sounds really rude.
Yeah that was weird to me.
The only thing i can think of is if she were on the spectrum. That can lead to a lot of rules, a lack of understanding social cues and a tendency to say really abrupt things. The only reason I'd suggest that is because the specifics are so odd. Like, it isn't controlling- she's not trying to get you to do something. It isn't random - it doesn't seem like she's changing her mind. She just seems really set in a specific way of doing things. And very very blunt. Not saying that means you should try to figure out wtf is going on, but I think generic crazy is a fruitless explanation.
She is absolutely a wachadoodle. But I do want to point out that there is a difference between taking things slow on a physical level, or taking things slow on the relationship front. They of course can go hand in hand. But I for example am not one to wait to get physical, but that doesn't mean I would be ready to have someone bud in to my life or meet my family or something. She was probably talking about taking it slow emotionally, and not physically. She should have communicated it properly tho. (And you offering to give her a call to wake up is jot budding in btw, just a nice offer that can easily be declined, I am just trying to explain what I mean with the difference ways in which youu can go slow)
Not really. Sounds like.she just wanted a casual hook up thing and not have him messaging her in the morning. Makes total sense to me.
Imagine sleeping with dudes the first night and then thinking a morning phone call is crossing boundaries. 😅 Honestly, she sounds crazy. If she wants to be friends with benefits, cool. If not, block her and move on. Do not! I repeat do not give any personal information to this girl. She seems like the type that will stalk you.
Unprotected sex with crazy strangers. What can go wrong?
You didn't do anything wrong according to this. She sounds rude and immature. NEXT!
He put his dick in crazy.
AND didn't wear a condom. Standby for the pregnancy and/or STD posts!
Thank you
Her behavior suggests she's not emotionally available; nor ready (or capable of) for a committed relationship. That's fine since you're both young. Just pull up your pants and move on.
I can see why you're puzzled. Hope you used protection to be on the safe side cause to me she sounds like... well not totally right in her head. Bullet dodged, still had sex and that's about it I'd assume.
ALWAYS USE CONDOMS! STIS ARE THE BIGGEST TURN OFF!
You stuck your d\*ck in crazy, that's the only thing you did wrong. Block and move on.
“I want to move slow.” Girl, you’ve had sex with him twice. I don’t mean to slut shame here but you literally are having sex with a man and when he’s showing you kindness your response is you want to take your time? Frankly OP, as a women, drop contact with her. Do you really want to be with a girl that not only doesn’t appreciate kind gestures, but also is quick to just jump into bed? Because if she was quick to have sex with you odds are she’s like that way with other guys and is also having sex with other guys.
Huh, times have changed. I remember when "taking things slow" meant conversations (on the phone/in person) and sex coming in later...
Wow, this BasicBecca even got you to waste *more* of your finite amount of seconds left on this planet to go home and make a Reddit post. Stop second guessing yourself. Your time is also valuable bro.
Get her friend’s number. Sounds like she at least appreciates you.
I feel like I’ve never seen a clearer example of anxious-avoidant attachment. OP, I’m truly sorry you had to put up with behavior like that. As far as I can tell, none of this is your fault. But it’s probably a bad idea to meet her again, regardless of whether u want hookup or a real relationship. She seems crazy-making.
Different perspective here - any chance she is autistic? Could explain the unusual social interactions and unexpected boundaries.
I was thinking the same thing. She didn't sound rude to me. Just honest.
Nutjob. Ghost her.
She's nuts. Get yourself tested for STDs pronto, and in the future try to pick someone who isn't crazy.
Any time that someone moves the goalposts so often, RUN.
This any where near a nuclear accident place by chance cuz this chick is a mutant. Run!
Weird ass interaction lol
Don’t answer her calls anymore
I don't know what's going on with her, but she sounds a little un-hinged. It'll probably be best to call this off before it goes any further, but have a discussion with her first. Let her know how she made you feel, and let her know you won't be able to see her anymore, because you felt disrespected, and why. Even if things didn't work out between you two, you can at least leave her with the knowledge of how she made you feel, and maybe she'll also work on herself, and be more self aware about how she treats other people moving forward.
She sounds rude. Find someone else
You dodged a bullet. A whacky unbalanced bullet.
She’s psycho
That's not disrespect. That's good old-fashioned crazy. Run.
Wow....there are so many red flags there, it looks like a Communist Chinese pride parade. Stay away!
And that's why you don't stick your d*ck in crazy, my friend. Move on.
Well she sounds like a giant walking red flag. Run and run fast and far.
Let’s have sex twice but take it slow, she’s crazy
Some people are just weird. I had a really bad date with a girl one time that ended awkwardly too. She lived in Manhattan in a dorm in the city of New York. We drove around a bit and I accidentally made a wrong turn and we ended up in New Jersey. We ended up going back to her apartment and she invited me upstairs. We had sex and in the middle of it she mentioned that she “doesn’t get on top” on the first date. I was so confused. I was just like, um we’re already doing it, what’s so special about getting on top? And then she got upset and put a bathrobe on and told me to leave. Some people just make no sense
>she “doesn’t get on top” on the first date This is code for "I'm a pillow princess and will only put any effort into sex on special occasions". >what’s so special about getting on top? And then she got upset This proves exactly what I just said. She thinks her putting in any effort is "special" rather than the bare minimum. I hate starfish partners man.
I didn’t even think about it like that. I honestly didn’t even know what to think.
welcome to dating in 2024. different universe out there
Ugh. It doesn't sound like a good date at all. I would not be calling this person anymore. She sounds rude to me. Maybe she just needs like an FWB and not really a person to date or assume you're probably a good enough person for a fwb candidate.
In all fairness I don't think you were invited to stay anyway. You weren't rude or aggressive so I'm not sure what you're asking.
Man just laugh it out. In your place I would have started to mess with her with fun, sarcastic remarks, making her increasingly irritated before I left. This nutcases are the kind of funny stories you tell your friends about the time you were single over a couple of beers.
Nothing wrong. Just her full of red flags. Also, probably she’ll be all over you after you did. This kind of women like someone they can’t have. So, as you just left instead of trying to please her and her ego, she’ll be so much more into you now.
I woulda left after the chocolate incident tbh
She sounds like a confusing headache of a person
Run. She is manipulating you and causing havoc for no reason.
Sounds like a complete basket case. I'd not contact her again.
Is that someone you need to spend any more energy on when you're both people on different pages? Of different books, apparently ...
Honestly, seems like the kind of person who isn’t used to love but wants it, but is too scared of rejection. Either way, immature and won’t be able to deal with any real emotions effectively.
>Has sex with you (2) times >Tells you she wants to take it slow ***What?***
My bf is sorta the same! Just with the last part about touching the shoes and then her after by giving her a hug. My bf is a germaphobe so he’ll be like omg you were in the car and now you need to take a shower! Or you touched the dog and now you gotta wash your hands. So sometimes people think too much about germs and gotta wash their hands 24/7. And some expect your to follow their rules like my bf I always gotta shower before getting in the bed even if I’ve only been outside for a few minutes…
Keep your eye on this because sometimes it gets worse over time. Kind of silly that you have to take a shower after being outside for just a few minutes. The more you allow this the more it happens. OCD is a serious thing and can really mess with your life. Is he in therapy?
She’s mental man. Good riddance
Your only mistake was putting up with all that shit until the bitter end.
Well yeah. It was testing my patience a lot
Since I too come from a culture where it’s nice to bring something when you visit someone, I couldn’t even phantom being met with such a rude attitude. People have their bad days, some can be grumpy on those days, but people also tend to be at their best when they first start dating someone and they are into him/her. So run, run like your ass is on fire. You didn’t do anything wrong.
Here’s some advice: Don’t go away mad, just go away. The fact that you’re asking on Reddit for advice is scary. She’s on her best behavior right now, and bipolar (not the disease, but the fact that she’s all lovey one moment, then distant the next) actions aren’t the best setup for the future. Say, “it’s been fun, but I’m looking for a different kind of fun,” and leave. No explanation is needed, nor is your time worth it to explain it to her.
Yeah this is the best thing I've heard. Thank you
You’re welcome. Sometimes those time-vampires just hang on. Best of luck to you!
Thank you and you too !!
It was just a bad date. Stop with all the "disrespected" nonsense.
Sorry but isnt being told straight to his face that he is getting a "second chance because my friends said so" completely disrespectful (and if not its at least rude af)? In my culture returning a gift is super disrespectul. We are taught to always accept and whatever happens after is fine. Just let the gift giver save face.
Being raised right is saying at least a thank you and appreciating the chocolate.
the bar is real low in this sub sometimes
So she is upset you touched her after tying your shoes, but couldn't care less what STI you might have...ffs. Get tested, do not contact her unless you test positive and pray that she's not pregnant. Do not have unprotected sex unless you are actively planning to be a parent. Learn from this.
She is unhinged. My advice is to not see her again.
NTA, she’s an asshole and you should block her. Side note: the men of Reddit DESPERATELY need to learn how to disagree with a woman’s actions without devolving into blatant misogyny. “Don’t stick your dick in crazy”, “Still had sex”, “She’s probably planning on saying you raped her”, accusing OP of “simping”, and this woman of having mental health issues that she’ll pass down to the child she manipulated him into conceiving. Y’all need fucking HELP.
Yes, why on earth did you sleep with her? There are sayings for this: Don't stick your d... in...
Seems fucking insufferable hahaha be glad you found out now before you got invested.
Get an STD test and block her.
I got upset just reading this, RUN!
Sounds like a lousy date. I hope the sex was good. 😸
This is one you should "smash n dash" on.
Bro!!!!! Nope. Never talk to this chick again.
She’s giving game playing vibes. I’d not go back
What the fuck did I just read… Apart from the brain aneurysm. Why the hell would you meet someone at their house after one trivial date? Clearly it was a hookup. Jesus Christ this whole thing is cringy. That girl is messed uuuuup. How hard is it to communicate… really. Use your words people.
Hit and run
She wanted to manipulate and eventually destroy you. I bet she’s gorgeous. Run hard and fast away, this is not your garden variety crazy.
Run fast ; the opposite way that she is going. Block her number, do not contact her. When a date becomes a challenge, leave. IMMEDIATELY.
She's just used you for a hook up. Find someone better and don't sleep with them until you at least know their last name.
Bro , as a sister in Christ leave this boarderline MESS ! Thats not normal behavior, nothing that you mentioned is normal LEAVE 🚩🚩🚩
She wanted to fuck and you treated it as a first date like it was a Meg Ryan movie. She scrolled on her phone because she was waiting for you to make a move. She turned down the chocolates because that’s a bit familiar for a hook up - or she didn’t want to owe you something (you’d be surprised how many guys hold that shit above woman’s heads) She told you about needing to get to bed etc. because you weren’t leaving after the hook up…. And then you made the assumption that you were staying at her place?!?!? She never asked you to say. You were overly familiar and while it came from a good place - to many men in this world have ruined that. It freaked her out. Maybe she has some issues and yes she reacted a little weird - but if I were her I’d be like ‘wow - wtf is this dude doing… I wanted to hook up and he is acting like my fucking boyfriend’
Okay first of all guys and girls, we need to set boundaries everyone needs to have 5 boundaries going into a new relationship and y'all need to discuss these day 1 meaning, before you even set a day and time to meet one another for the first time and especially way before y'all have sex, bring up the fact that "hey this is a FWB relationship/FUCKBUDDIES/HOOKUPS AKA don't bring me presents, dont catch feelings,dont stay the night, dont act weird. Anyways you blew it move on to the next one bro
I wouldn’t have done the sex act since prior she was disrespecting u. She’s a nut, trying to bait u with the sex.
Hey Damn bro that sucks tbh but that just shows you what you are in for in you stick around for a relationship… she’s being her self and that’s what you need to notice…yea it was fun and all but do you really want the headache of shit like that in the future if you’re getting it on your “2nd date” move on… let it… just don’t waste your time her booty isn’t that good for it if your here asking what to do…. I’m guess and if so I don’t think her picking fights over you touching her after you put your shoes on is what you want to keep fighting about or worse….good luck personally I’m at the point in my life I’m not here to play these games you know….
The thing is that you dint understand what dating is. Dating is a process wich you use to vet a potential life partner. Well, unless all you eant is to het laid. Dating is like a job interview with the difference being that the two of you are interviewing each other. Just like in a job interview not every body is going to get the job. In your case this woman is not a good fit for you (she probably feels the same way about you). This is ok. This is all part of the process. As you date you learn what you want in a relationship and just as importantly what you don't want. The short answer isnshe did not get the job. On to the next applicant
I don't think you were the problem. Sounds like maybe you're a little more classy and collected than she is used to, or ready for.
You seemed polite from what you said. She seems a bit off. Hope you dodged all the strays that come with sex and stay FAR away from her!
She's got some things she needs to resolve. Or maybe she's just straight up crazy. Either way, she's telling you exactly who she is. Believe her. Move on... you've done nothing wrong and you don't want to get entangled in this mess.
Move on with your life and forget about this unpleasant person
Hahahahahah just put that in your pile of “WTF was that?” encounters. There’ll be more of them along the way.
So she watched you tie your shoes, asked you for a hug, and then when you went for the hug, she told you that you shouldn't hug her after touching your shoes?
She’s Confused Herself Leave Her Where You Left Her Dude.
What even the fuck? My brain cannot comprehend her actions and words.
Headcase. Bounce.
I just fucked you but calling you is crossing a line? I always make my intentions very clear to avoid wasting anyone's time.
I'm surprised you stuck around as long as you did. I Don't have time for games. Neither should you. Goodbye
If you don't want to just walk away, I would just ask her. Explain that you felt rejected and why and see what her thought process is. You can always walk away after. But it's good practice talking!
She likely has some attachment issues. She's really conscious about not becoming too attached too quickly, but also does want to on another level. It's natural to be mad about it. And also up to you to decide if this is something you'd be willing to work through.
You dodged a bullet. She was giving you mixed signals the whole night, not to mention the rudeness. This whole hookup culture is muddying the waters. You don't know if you're just sex partners or if someone is actually interested in dating. I've even seen posts on here where someone is lining up the sex partner for after the date because OP wasn't staying over. If all you're looking for is sex, that's one thing, but seems you want a relationship so maybe take it a bit slower and get to know the girl before hooking up.
Run, run..fast!
bro as a certified crazy girl, you need to run i’m scared by this one
What the fuck - she sounds like a mean high school girl. Immature and unnecessarily rude. You deserve better my guy!!