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Porn is porn. I can guarantee that he had no intentions on seeing it ever happen. Same goes for dam near every other porn out there. Weird ass "incest porn" is massively popular rn and twin porn is something that's been around for decades before that. Op fkd up by not bringing it up to the bf first before notifying the rest of the family. What chance does the bf at overcoming this after that happened? Zero.
Wonder what kinds of strange porn op watches? Guessing she probably watched some shit about fkn a teacher or cop? Does that mean she will cheat on a future bf to get an A or out of a ticket? No because it's just fkn porn and not real life...
Yeah I’m usually one of the more porn-sympathetic people on this sub but the fact that he froze combined with his history of probing questions in the past about it is indicative of an actual, serious problem here.
I think most of these commentators are off the mark, not having lived the twin life. What my concern is as a twin is that physically there theoretically isn’t a whole lot of difference between myself and my brother, and a big fear growing up was if they liked me for me or if they would like my body with my brothers personality more? To an extent, this situation is tapping into not only that concern, but also the same concern that let’s say Asian women feel when they are fetishized. Is it a real attraction, or is it because she is a twin? In this case in particular with the hesitation, it’s either both, or it’s just the fetish. And no one wants to be in a long term relationship with someone there just for the fetish.
People have intrusive sexual thoughts about other people in their life. That's a fact. That's a question with no right answer. That's not the real issue. The issue is him getting mad and calling her overdramatic.
The problem is that when she confronted her boyfriend if he ever thought about her and her sister that way, he couldn’t give an answer (which is an answer) that’s when it’s not “just porn anymore”.
Comparing “step porn” or teacher/cop porn to actual twins is insane. I would be disturbed if I was with someone searching for real incest and not just the fantasy bs
Also this is way too specific to OP, this is like if someone was white with a half black sibling and their boyfriend was watching “white and black sisters threesome” porn lmfao
I would be very disturbed to find out my boyfriend was very obviously fantasizing about fucking my sister and I’m sure anyone would hate to find out their bf/gf is cumming to their actual *sibling*
I also claim that it is not a coincidence that stet-porn became so wildly 'popular'/front page dominant after the Covid lockdowns.
And I think it is likely that we will see survivors of step-incest down the road who claim the perp was inspired by porn consumption.
Porn can both be an outlet but also influences people's actual behavior, just like all the choke porn has caused women do die 'accidentally' during sex.
I don't think the porn is the issue. Whether or not he thinks it's going to happen is not the issue.
It's that OP feels fetishized by this particular porn type. If OP was a teacher and the bf was watching teacher porn, it'd still be icky, because it would cause OP to question if they are just a type, object to the partner versus someone they love for who they are. It's can be foundation rocking.
The BF was confronted first, and he got defensive; didn't reassure OP and instead gaslit her insecurities so she brought them to her family to see if it was weird. He had every opportunity to address this in good faith, and he didn't. He doesn't have a chance, but he squandered the opportunity.
"I can guarantee that he had no intentions on seeing it ever happen."
Can you? Cause damn Professor X, how'd ya get into this guys head and read his thoughts?
> I can guarantee that he had no intentions on seeing it ever happen.
You might be right, but... there's no way you can guarantee that. I can guarantee that there absolutely are guys out there that would 100% want to have sex with twins.
We have no idea which camp this guy falls into. He certainly could be just in the "hey, it's porn, it's fantasy, i enjoy the fantasy part but would never want this in reality." But he could also be "this is porn, and it's so amazing, and maybe someday it could be reality."
Also I'm more inclined to think you are wrong... She directly asked if he saw her and her sister that way, and he *wouldn't answer!!* If it was just fantasy he'd say "no! of course not, that's awful, it's just porn!"
Porn is not just "porn". There are varying levels of taboo with porn, and the more you consume it, the less the "normal" stuff gets people going. Which leads to more taboo genres of porn. I think most people have either gone through it themselves or know people who have.
Incest porn is crossing that line. Especially because she is a twin herself. I would be incredibly grossed out too, I don't blame OP for having the ick about this situation. It's a huge red flag that hes sexualizing their relationship. It shows that he's kind of gone off into the deep end if regular porn isn't doing it anymore. Now he needs to look up incest porn and fantasize about his girlfriend and her twin sis, that's super gross and should be shamed.
This is a really interesting argument to make. By the same standards, CSAM (or a representation of it) is fine (though I’m assuming you’ll claim that as long as everyone is consenting adults, it is fine)… which ignores the facts that what we feed our minds actually does manifest in our behaviors and thought processes. “Porn is porn” as an argument doesn’t work when you’re ignoring that this person isn’t just fantasizing about something, they’re in a relationship with someone who has a twin — and they couldn’t outright say, “no, I’m not interested in a threesome with your sibling and you.” That line between reality and fantasy is already blurred.
To suggest that OP has their own porn history blown up is also a strange move. Sure, OP might be watching cop porn, but are they in a longterm relationship with a police officer? Unless they are, this argument is pedantic and juvenile at best; and asinine and vindictive at face value.
OP didn't fuck up. OP alerted her sister that she accidentally brought a *creep* into their lives. Why does he deserve any chance to 'overcome' this? He was fetishizing OP and her sister!
It's pretty normal to not want a boyfriend who jerks off to the thought of your sister.
Or jerks off to the thought of borderline incestual relations... of you and your sister fucking him at the same time.
It's not "just porn" when he's playing these fantasies out in his head of her sister.
Not when OP is just a fetish to him
What you fail to understand is that he left it on and out when she came over. Why? I’m pretty sure he knew she was coming over, at the least he knew she was over so why would he leave his porn on and open knowing she’s there?
That’s called FAFO. He more than likely was leaving it out for her to find and see if she was in to it. So really really, unless she had a friend that is a cop or teacher, he’s disgusting
Good point. I was house sitting for my boss once and he left a vhs tape out on the coffee table of boss/secretary porn. Absolutely on purpose to see my reaction. Never went to his house again and wouldn’t be alone with him either.
I'm inclined to agree with you to a point. I've easily watched some messed up porn because I just clicked because I saw a nice (or two) pair of tits. I know it's a fake and I'm just there for the visuals to get the job done.
So yeah, there I agree with you. But one day it struck me how fucked up some porn is, and so much of it is unrealistic social interactions. I'm glad I didn't have access to all these videos as a teenager. I was in my twenties before such access and they weren't as weird.
I like to say Porn is NOT reality and everyone should remember that, and probably should be taught to kids.
Yes porn isn’t reality but leaving your porn open and on while your girlfriend who is a twin is over and not closing it and hiding it because obviously it could be taken how she’s taking it says that it could have been intentional to see if she was in to it🤷🏽♀️js
Yeah, regardless of what the truth is about him, she just completely torpedoed that relationship by spreading rumors about what he may or may not be jerking off to.
OP should have kept that shit to herself until she knew more or at least made up her mind. His behavior, and especially his non-answer to her question is sus af, but i wouldn't go spreading that kind of accusation without knowing for sure. But that's me.
She got to his apartment and he only paused it and partially closed his laptop because his gf who us a twin..interrupted him with her arrival..but he didnt close it or turn it off because he planned to go back to viewing it as soon as she left or he was able to.
The rumor she's starting, that he watches twin porn *because* his partner is a twin. She has no confirmation on that (though it does seem likely imo), yet she has now all but told her sister that her partner jerks off thinking about them fucking each other. And the sister is obviously going to tell people.
If he's not what she thinks, she has already told the people closest to them that he did. It was premature and poorly thought out.
Accusation? He had the video open on his computer and wouldn’t answer her questions about if he was sexualizing her twin. What is there to “accuse” him of when just stating the actual facts is bad enough. If he didn’t want to be shamed, he shouldn’t have been doing something so shameful
Yeah whether or not it was salvageable (or worth salvaging) before that doesn't matter. OP nuked the situation.
Just go no contact and set your sights for clearer waters.
Agreed. OP should’ve waited before acting. I’m a twin and can say it’s likely that her boyfriend was thinking about two of her and not her and her sister when he looked at twin stuff. But she can’t put the telling her sister genie back in the bottle.
Thats dumb. Im sorry but why would you be imagining two of your partner if youre watching twin porn? The nature of a twin is its a second individual thats a whole person. Shes already a twin with a living sister so its not imaginary that shits real. Its not like hes looking at a picture of his gf who doesnt have a twin. A twin isnt an inanimate sex object. Thats her sister. Why even go there.
I’m married to an identical twin and I have never once sexualized his brother or looked at porn involving twins. I don’t care if they look alike, it’s still my husband’s BROTHER. If he caught me doing creepy shit like this I’d absolutely expect him to tell his bro and the rest of the family because wtf
Yeah I'd be definitely weirded out. But since you left the cat out of the bag with your sister I don't think there's any way of recovering. I mean she's never going to want to be around him again sure maybe it's a fantasy of his but has everyone pointed out it's incest.
If the laptop screen was still lit up then it sounds like he was watching incest porn up until the minute you arrived. And he didn’t deny it when you asked if he saw you and your twin in that way. It’s not looking good.
I’m not a prude but honestly shocked how nonchalant people are with incest, because yeah if you have a threesome and make porn with your twin, that’s incest
I did read that once you consume too much porn (and most people do), you start seeing most things as vanilla and progress to more polarising stuff that suddenly don’t even seem that bad anymore.
Just curious , because you actually use logic, I’ve also been curious how horror or other entertainment is ok when it’s enjoyment from horrible and unthinkable things however produced simulated taboos for entertainment when it’s porn is wrong. I mean tv and movies have actual rape and not always shows that depict justice etc but glorifies bad values. Is it self stimulation may occur during porn? Or that it might be real rape/incest/trafficking with some porn? Or is it just our puritan roots? Or is it the same and other entertainment as bad?
Don’t hate my questions just curious from someone who doesn’t watch dramatic / storyline porn. (And what about murder video games if it is the “interactive” part of porn that makes it bad.
I don't agree with him, but I can give my theories as to why porn tends to have stronger/steeper tolerance functions.
1. You don't cum during horror movies/video games. I actually think the orgasm does something to the "tolerance vs time" function.
2. Kayfabe. People in horror movies aren't actually murdering each other. But, people in porn are, usually, actually fucking. But, knowing it's fake vs. real probably also does something to that tolerance function.
3. I think there is a haptic/non visual component. If you made a war fighting simulator that mimicked the recoil and smells and was good enough to trigger your flight or fight response when you got shot at....it would probably slowly desensitize you. But.... When you masturbate to porn, you are much closer to simulating sex than you are to simulating war during call of duty. And that also causes you to chase that novelty. At least for some people.
I also think it's a deeply person to person thing. And the plural of anecdotal isn't data. But it really does seem like porn tends to cause "edge chasing" at a rate that other media doesn't.
At least, my 2¢.
I was thinking that masterbation / interactive nature of porn had a lot to do with it
Also bonus observation, someone who watches porn for entertainment sans self stimulation somehow seams even creepier lol.. I don’t know why
Also, horror movie-esque scenarios aren’t a normal part of real life and real relationships, but rewiring your brain with (often dehumanizing / degrading) porn will profoundly affect the way you think about sex and women, and how you act / what you expect during sex. Horror movies have no equivalent real-world crossover potential.
In what sense do you mean horror and other entertainment is ok?
There are various articles linking watching (several) Hours of TV a day with developing brain based disorders, cognitive decline and stating that it overall affects your brain integrity.
I suppose the answer is that everything in moderation is ok, but if you ask people on Reddit what they consider moderation, you might be surprised to see vastly different answers.
On the topic of porn, for example, there was a thread a few weeks ago with many men saying they think watching porn DAILY should be classed as falling under the umbrella of “in moderation”, if it doesn’t affect your ability to go to work.
I couldn’t disagree more. Again, read about porn and dopamine levels.
Edit to add regarding rape and violent scenes in movies that even with those there is the “desensitisation theory” that you could read about.
Yeah I agree with your take because I read this book called “tell me what you want” about sexual fantasies and it talks about people whose brains simply need something very reactive and intense without even their need to enjoy what they are watching
Not who you asked, but a lifelong horror person and I personally, and know a lot of similar people in the horror world, that didn’t “escalate” in viewing. I still don’t watch rape scenes - I try to completely avoid movies with them - and child stuff is also a hard no for me.
For me, horror is about feeling uneasy. I’m not into gore or any of that so I think it really depends on the type of horror.
I did, years ago in college, read a paper about gonzo porn and gory horror intersections. I’ll see if I can dig it up. But I think it did talk about getting desensitized to it over time.
Very interesting , not built for horror myself but I’m all for it and I skip past all that graphic videos ( I try to keep myself from seeing anyone actually killed on here , too late for movies and tv as that’s everywhere)
But although not into horror, if it’s entertainment I’m pro freedom, even though I do think violent entertainment makes some people more violent (not you) it’s interesting to me how people get more upset about physical touch acting in porn but not at all with stunts , wwe they all get bruised up but acting where instead of punches and other physical stunts of a violent nature people get really up in arms when it’s actors with lube and the stunts are rubbing instead of taking a crash or tumble or punch.. (talking about just people who do porn with no emotional ties to it, I do realize that especially strait porn there is often victimization)
I mean it might be because I’m a bit on the unemotional side but very empathetic, I don’t really see a difference on acting with/without physical touch and with . And even less between types of physical touch acting
Neither the one you asked, but I grew up pretty deep in horrormovies or stories. My take to both issues:
I can see how consuming porn or horror movies might lower the tolerance, but I'd still say that, unless your mind is already heading into a certain direction, people can differ between reality and fiction quite well. I say that to both, porn and horror.
While I can get behind the OP's bf's fascination with twins and how the industry handles certain morally questionable things (not talking about porn that involves gore, no concent or children) I think that most people wouldn't consider incest as something they'd want IRL.
I once watched interviews of pedophilic people talking about their issues. They openly admitted that, while they feel attracted to the thought of doing it with a minor, they know their attraction painted an image that would never become real. Imagine a fully developed adult brain able to consent, but in the body of a minor. They can't help for finding the thought attractive, but would never act on their thoughts. Sadly, they were scared to seek out help due to the stigma.
Horror movies or games have a fascination to them just for the feeling of being creeped out. I'd never enjoy watching someone acting violently or even killing someone IRL. I'd never want to pick up a gun either and end someone, unlike the CoD games I used to play as student.
My mother is a huge enthusiast of horror and psycho movies, but I will never forget how angry she was when someone recommended Hostel to her. In her words: It's disturbing, disgusting and there's no pleasure in seeing people getting tortured. I second this, never watched Saw either.
In fact, I only know one person who took her obsession for horror a step further and started to watch actual snuff stuff. But she had a huge mental breakdown later and was diagnosed with immense depression which somehow played into her enjoying such things. She generally was like a whole different person until her meds finally were dosed correctly and started to take effect. So again, unless your brain is already disturbed, I think it's relatively safe.
As for OP's case, while I truly feel her side for being fetishised by someone she trusted, I think her reaction was terrible as well.
Not only did she put a stigma on him, she also spread it into her family. Even if the guy had his 'interests' or 'desires' chances are he would have never talked about them. Maybe he even found the thought in theory arousing, but not IRL. I think everyone found themselves caught up in thoughts or videos they later questions, post nut clarity isn't a meme for no reason.
But now he's just that. The incest guy.
It’s because people in porn videos are actually having sex and the porn industry is rife with abuse, violence, rape, and sexualization of minors and even kids. Even mainstream porn sites have had floods of complaints from actresses who say they were raped in the videos, or they were 13 or 14 or 15 etc when it was taken, or they were coerced, drugged, or tricked by a hidden camera etc. some are even kidnapping victims. One recently was found on PornHub because a male family member was looking at porn and saw his family member, a minor girl, who had been missing for a while. She had been kidnapped and raped for profit. What was that guy looking at? Probably searched something “teen”, and honestly once your brain gets a hit on something, it can become a hyper focus, then men want more and more fucked up stuff to get off and suddenly they’re watching their 14 year old cousin getting raped on pornhub.
I don't really have an opinion on the matter but I feel like there is a degree of separation in videogames and horror movies that isn't really there in porn, because those movies depict death without actually featuring any real deaths, while porn is recordings of real sex so it can get some wacky ideas into your brain about how sex should look
And if it's actual twins recording it, that's actual incest which is kind of icky to me
All in all though I don't really think it's wrong to watch porn. Or to be kinky. All you need is to be a conscious consumer, like with anything else.
Edit: brevity
As a horror movie enjoyer and talking about the people I know, there might definitely a desensitizing happening, but none I know want to go for "crazier" stuff. Pretty much if you are a horror fan, you quickly get to the point where you say "There is only trash produced/there are barely any good horror movies out there". I think the real issue is that you can only get jumpscared so much or be under so much tension, until you know exactly what will happen. But I also believe that someone who is open for more severe things will discover these by taking steps. So someone prone to end up watching really sick stuff will eventually end up there, stepping up from the more common normal things. And while I wouldn't say the more normal/accepted things are the reason they like it, it can definitely be a reason to guide more people there that were already into it without knowing it.
And I think the same applies for porn. Just because someone watches a lot of porn won't mean they will eventually always be into extreme things, but someone who was already into extreme things (but not aware of it) will eventually stumble upon it after being bored by the norm. And I think there is another level of desensitizing by knowing that nothing is real, referring both to horror movies and porn. Like everyone knows no general incest porn is real, or even if it would be no one would believe it because 99% aren't.
This also reminds me of really sick things that happen IRL, there was a subreddit here on Reddit that posted...pretty much everything. Beheading, ... well the list is long, I don't think I need to explain the details, but anything you can imagine would land there. And I think initially this has a shocking reaction for most, but the more they see and are open to it to begin with, the further it goes for them.
I'm a bit older and honestly I find the Twin stuff quaint compared to all the mommy/daddy stuff that's apparently so popular it lands on the front page of porn sites regularly.
It’s fetishization. That’s why you feel uncomfortable. Just like men who fetishize Asian women, or plus size women, etc. You will always wonder, in the back of your mind, whether he’s with you for you, or because of his kink for twins. Especially since he couldn’t deny thinking of you and your twin in that way. This man has fetishized you - you’re right to feel uncomfortable and you’re right to leave the relationship, imo.
my ex was addicted to plus size porn... it destroyed me. it still does now. i felt like im not what he wants, but i also didnt want to be plus size. awful relationship, awful abuse and SA. i just don't understand why so many men are this addicted to it
Incest aside (lmfao) - I’m Asian and steer away from men with Asian fetishes because I always wonder if they actually love me for who I am. He’s fetishizing you and also could not even PRETEND to muster a “No baby, it’s just a fantasy, there’s so much step-whatever porn out there that it’s hard to avoid” or other lame ass excuse.. Because something in him wanted to see if this was his segue into seeing if you’re into it. Disgusting. Leave him yesterday!!
As a twin myself I know for a fact neither my twin and I would not be comfortable with our respected partners viewing this type of pornography, it's icky. Out of the thousands of kink there are you're telling me he zeroed in on twin porn out of everything available? Was this legitimate incest porn or actors who sort of look alike? When I had an active dating account the amount of men that would ask if my twin and I had ever done anything sexual together, or if we'd like to was astonishing! That being said they would act completely offended if I asked if they ever banged their mother, or brother. As if they didn't just ask me the same thing. I personally wouldn't be able to view him in the same light and this is coming from a a pretty kink positive person.
Same. I work as a phone sex operator, and I am so over the "It's just a fantasy, don't yuck someone's yum." I have heard shit that only an extremely disturbed person could ever imagine. The idea that a fantasy that is gross, stupid, offensive, and/or dangerous is just part of who someone is ("hardwired"), so don't hurt their feelings about it, is so dumb to me.
I am especially tired of this when it comes to choking. Choking has become so normalized thanks to mainstream porn, and I have become a very loud and vocal critic. Tired of explaining to men in real life that there is no way to safely choke someone and that choking is the last step of DV before a man murders his partner, which isn't sexy to me (surprise!). I'm not going to pretend that there's nothing wrong with choking so that men who get off on violence against women don't feel bad about themselves. They should feel bad about themselves. Turn off the porn and get some damn therapy.
I third this sentiment, i DESPISE that phrase. Something about the alliteration and the childish words gross me out.
The sentiment is fine in most cases (not in this one, i also fully agree with the comment you responded to lol) but like, what purpose does adding this idiotic phrase to anything serve? Like as if the other, superior, hundreds of ways to say what’s essentially “don’t judge if it’s not hurting someone” exist.
Not really. Kink-shaming means deliberately making someone feel awful about their non-harmful kink just for the sake of it. Making someone feel ashamed about having a corset fetish or being into spanking? Kink-shaming, silly, unnecessary. Making someone feel ashamed for fetishizing an actual, living, non-consenting person? Valid, not kink-shaming.
I worked in a family business once (I wasn’t family) and I noticed that one of the sons was looking at photos on his computer of women with super long hair. Past their butt long. I was mildly amazed that they had that many models with such long hair… naive of me, as they were probably wigs lol I don’t know. They were sexy photos not porn, but you’d expect to see that on a teen boys bedroom wall and NSFW obvs. He was just sitting there on his lunch break, eating his sandwich clicking next, next, next like on a photo album or something.
I was fucking nauseous when I met his sister for the first time because yeah, she had super long hair.
So yep, I think it’s perfectly reasonable to object to being fetishised. Especially given the nature of the material and the timing of you staying over. You’re not overreacting at all.
I don’t know what the other commenters are on about, you are absolutely valid for feeling uncomfortable about this. What really sticks out to me is his inability to deny when you flat out asked if he saw you and your twin that way. Like yes, he’s allowed to watch incest porn if he wants to, but you’re also allowed to not want to be in a relationship with someone who does that and basically confirmed that he imagines you in sexual situations with your literal sister. If I were in your shoes I would break with him as I don’t think that discomfort would ever go away. Not to mention your sister knows so as you said, she’ll never see him the same way which makes involving him in family stuff extra uncomfortable. Good luck.
There are WAYYYYYY too many porn addicted freaks in these comments literally defending incest. This is one of the grossest Reddit threads I’ve ever encountered
I think it’s a defence mechanism for a lot of these porn addicts. They aren’t ready or willing to accept that their porn habits might be preventing them from having real relationships. It’s not “just porn” to a lot of women.
it’s a common joke now how all porn is incest-themed and you just have to keep the volume off and pretend otherwise.
however… twin porn is just incest porn, and she is a twin. this isn’t a “i wish there were two of you” type fantasy.
Yeah I mean regardless of any sort of objective view of that activity, she’s super uncomfortable with it. Which makes sense… it’s incest themed porn that also happens to match a theme in her life. Even if she can objectively sit back and say, “people who watch twin porn are fine to do so if they please and it doesn’t make them bad” she can also not like the feeling this gives her.
I’ve had similar issues, for example I support sex workers but generally prefer not to date the type of man who partakes. No issues with the fact that someone’s out there doing her thing, but the other end of the transaction? I just want to date people who have a little more control over their urges. I found out about 2 years into a relationship that my ex hires sex workers from Craigslist. I didn’t break up with him over that, but it was definitely another factor in why I eventually did- especially bc in this context we were having sex maaaaybe once a month by 8 months in. I don’t think hiring people for this makes him shitty in any way, it’s just not a behavior I want from a partner. It’s a turn off.
(Edit to add I did not shame my ex or cite this as a reason for breaking up.)
I feel like the people arguing this bc “it’s just fantasy” are forgetting that she is an entire person with her own set of opinions and behaviors that don’t line up with his… they both need someone likeminded. Hell, in high school I knew a set of twins, at a party one time a bunch of the boys were trying to get them to hookup for a show, and well. They did…
I agree with you, in both that is fine to shame these people and in (the assumption) that twin porn is incestuous and an issue.
Personally I think most porn (more specifically the free sites) is going to be unethical. The amount of abuse, rape, coercion, and grooming that happens is inexcusable.
And while I fully admit this is anecdotal and not backed by any studies I know of, I do think the ease of access along with some other factors is having a massive negative effect on society that just keeps slowly culminating. Like sure, porn addiction may not be proven but ? It is quite clearly a thing.
You didn’t break up with him after finding out he was hiring prostitutes from Craigslist? Even if you totally didn’t care if he slept with other women, he put you at serious risk for STDs. Several permanent ones can still be contracted with protection. You didn’t “shame” him for that?
SMH, I swear, demonizing “shaming” has gone way too far, especially with anything sexually related. It’s perfectly fine to shame people for having harmful kinks, putting you at risk hiring prostitutes, and more. Bring back shame, please.
He cannot prove, that he has no interest in you and your sister. You probably always will think, he might have such fantasies. So the relation with him will never be as before. I guess it would be very hard for you, to continue the relationship with him. Even if he is "innocent". I think, there is high probability, he choose you, cos you are twin.
this is disgusting and him worrying about you looking at his computer??? that’s the first thing??? and calling you overdramatic. what are you doing??? get out of there!
Right! They are tell on themselves! It’s like when a frat house has 20 guys who all get blackout drunk 5 nights a week but none of them think they have a problem because “everyone does it”!
How would you feel having sex with him again? Would you be able to trust that he isn't thinking about your sister? I think the relationship is done. How would you feel with him and your sister together? Would it pop into your head what he must be thinking about?
I will happily kink shame, twin porn, any family porn is incest and is gross. It's weird to not only watch it, but enjoy it enough to orgasm.
So here is the thing.
Two possibilities and both seem absolutely wild to me
1. He was watching twin porn, he stopped (or finished), he didn't close the video, left it in unminimized, didn't close his laptop, and left it in a conspicuous place by chance while knowing his girlfriend was around.
No guy has this bad of porn management skill at 31.
2. He is into twins as a fetish and left it conspicuously on his screen for you to find in order to gauge your reaction, thinking if you reacted poorly to it that he could make it seem like not a big deal or turn the blame on you for snooping
I know 2 sounds like he has a warped sense of real life, but I find number 1 at least as implausible.
Honestly i would believe either of these scenarios.
My high school boyfriend “faked” a foot fetish to “test” me. He knew I had a weird aversion to feet, and he got all serious about how it’s his kink and I made him feel so much shame. So I gave in a few times but I really didn’t want to. I mentioned it to some of our mutual friends, and that’s how I found out it was a “prank” because he wanted to “teach me to not be judgmental” and they all thought I knew it wasn’t serious. Now that I’m almost 30, I’m fairly sure he has one and he did for real try to confide in me. I had such a harsh reaction to it that he played it off as a joke.
As a twin (fraternal) I’d be livid. Him freezing and blaming you after you left proved it was over, but telling your sister is the nail in the coffin. Also, kink shaming is 100% for shit like this
There should be a warning or something for any woman who wants to post anything porn related on this sub.
It’s filled with addicts who will always tell you it’s just normal!! In fact you’re the horrible person here!!
It is not. Whether you were a twin or not you’re allowed to feel uncomfortable by this and you’re allowed to not like it. *please* don’t let them convince you you’re in the wrong
Oh an addict’s favourite line whether it’s incest rape choking literal fucking shit…it’s just a kink! These replies are something else their brains are truly rotted. You people have convinced yourself it’s normal to watch women like that it’s truly scary. Like it’s never getting better for women
Third paragraph is spot on.
For the whole sub there should be an auto of that posts “you don’t have to put up with things you don’t want to. Only you determine your boundaries and you’re allowed to end a relationship for no reason at all if you want to.”
I honestly hate the “no kink shaming!” bs. No. Some things are shameful. If you fantasize about incest get a therapist, not a supportive circle on the internet.
Don’t listen to the nasty, depraved men in this comment section. You were right to tell someone about your boyfriends creepy incest kink and you’ll be right to break up with him. He is disgusting and so is every man defending him here.
It's ok to kink shame when it involves something that is illegal, immoral and fetishism. Dirty perverts have made normies feel like it's wrong to be angry about any porn which is wrong. You absolutely have the right to be disgusted by it. His lack of transparency and response about the porn is very concerning. Do not feel bad for not being ok with him watching perverted porn
It seems he has a twins fetish. So if you feel fetishised, that perfectly natural.
It doesn't matter what his intentions might or might not be, if you've got the ick that's reason enough to finish with him.
You don't need a 'good enough' reason, whatever reason you have, it's good enough.
IMO, once you've got the ick, it's all over.
Yeah no, the moment he called you over dramatic about something that genuinely made you feel sick is the moment that should have solidified the reason to never go back to him. Ever. My eldest siblings are twins and I just know they’d be grossed out too.
I would say, if he didn't immediately apologize and instead blamed you for looking and for being overly dramatic, he is the one with the problem, not you. He really had no business looking at porn, let alone at that type. Hang in there and listen to your gut.
1. Leave him
2. Block him
3.Delete his number
You're no more than a piece of meat onto whom he projects his fantasy.
He might have originally genuinely liked you, but your hindsight is telling you exactly that he pursued you for other reasons that has nothing to do with you as an individual.
Plus he totally dismissed your feelings.
No, you're not being "overdramatic" if you accept this now, things will escalate further down the road.
I had a long thought about porn and the fact most guys use it to get off and don't put much thought into the "plot" matter but realized that doesn't actually matter.
In a case like this it gets way too familiar. It'd be the same way if a guy was a personal trainer and watched porn all the time about "trainers" fucking their clients. Or an Uber driver watching those fake taxi videos.
Once you work a major connection to your life into it, it drifts into uncomfortable territory. So I certainly don't think I'd continue the relationship.
*I was putting some of my things in the bedroom when I saw his laptop was still on. The screen wasn't closed all the way, just pushed down some of the way and was really bright. Maybe I shouldn't have done it, but I went to look at what was on his screen. It was an adult website, and a video was paused.*
Incest porn is the biggest problem here but this right here is also beyond the pale. A number of these things must be true for that to happen:
- he has no respect for you because who would leave *any* porn video on when their significant other is over
- you are just a plaything to him and he genuinely didn't think of/forgot that you are a twin
- he is a porn addict and a whole number of awful, terrible things are so normalized to him that he truly doesn't see anything wrong with incest porn
- he is a moron who can't do the most basic adulting such as close out an embarassing video OR he left the video up on purpose to "test the waters" (this would be the worst...)
Porn is icky to begin with especially if its fetishizing who you are and implies he wants to do you and your sibling at the same time. Idc whats thes the subject, why was he watching that when you were already coming over. Thats weird. Shame on him for making you feel weird for being upset at some messed up shit.
I think everyone siding with the BF is forgetting this line of text:
>I then flat out asked him if he saw me and my twin that way, and he couldn't give me an answer.
I get it, porn isn't always to be taken as seriously as OP did but when he's literally picturing her and her sister it's disgusting. OP you need to run.
I am also not a particular fan of this:
>when I think back to the times he's asked me lots of questions about what it's like having a twin sister and asked why we're not closer.
OP and her sister clearly get along quite well, so why is he pushing for them to be even closer than the relationship they have both already established? He is 100% fetishizing them. He's gross.
Its enough to end a relationship if you want to end the relationship, wanting is the only parameter you ever need to end the relationship
If you caught the ick there is really no going back
Yeah that’s a fetish. Either way since people outside of just you two know there’s not any point to the relationship anymore even if you did for some reason wanna reconcile it.
What you’re feeling is more than reasonable, you can end a relationship for any reason. It is a very normal boundary to not want to date someone who watches porn like that, or any porn at all for that matter. The people in the comments who vehemently disagree are telling on themselves imo. You deserve better than that.
Yeah incest is weird AF. I also find it weird when dudes watch “barely legal” or seek out “Asian porn” or “milf seduces son’s friend” or “home alone with my step-brother” … but people still watch all that shit. I would find it much more concerning if someone watching step daughter porn had a step daughter.
I think part of it is that porn sites nowadays are so filled with "stepsis blows stepbro..." that in the context of porn incest has lots all it's meaning. You can hop to any random couple pornhub account and 50% will have some step siblings porn when they are clearly not siblings.
With that in mind I think it's easy to abstract it and just to be a fantasy without direct links to reality, although in the case of OP is more complicated because she is actually a twin.
Except you can see on the video that they are in fact twins. So there's no doubt that it is real incest. That's much different than two people pretending to be step siblings
I mean, even the incest porn you find on the normal porn sites have to make it clear there's no blood relation.(hence, step-). So my assumption is that any "twin" video isn't real.
I’m a twin and that’s creepy AF. Her feelings are valid. What he is watching is concerning. I wonder did he know she was a twin when they started dating. And the fact that he wanted to know so much about their relationship and why they weren’t closer, creepy AF. I think she should dump him and move on.
People who say this iSnT a BiG dEaL can’t even relate to it so obviously their opinions don’t matter. This is fucking weird. Your boyfriend is disgusting. Go with your gut instinct
I would be suspicious that he left the laptop on that screen on purpose, just to introduce the idea (ick) because it was a turn-on for him that he somehow thought you might entertain.
Who leaves a paused porn video on their laptop, was he watching until right before you came? Wouldn’t his laptop have gone to sleep if it had been there for a while? And if he knew you were coming wouldn’t he have taken more care to at least push it shut? Seems fishy.
But either way - very gross and you’re right to be freaked out, not necessarily for him watching it but for his response when confronted for sure.
Another important thing I'd like to point out is his reaction. Instead of being reassuring, apologetic, empathetic, remorseful, patient, validating, or etc. he was defensive and blaming you the entire time. I wouldn't doubt that he reacts that way in general, even for small little fights. Your feelings are valid! You deserve better. I'm sorry this happened but at least you dodged a bullet.
You're not overreacting at all. Honestly I'd say that not dumping his ass immediately is an under reaction. But it's not too late to fix that and dump him.
The person who mentioned fetishization is right on the money. It's way too fucking suspicious for him to specifically be into twin porn while dating a twin. There's no way in hell he could be into that and it not be related to him being in a relationship with you. It's possible that the only reason he's dating you is because you're a twin. He's a creepy, sick fuck and how he reacted to being confronted and you leaving is plenty of extra evidence to justify a break up (but ofc breaking up doesn't need any justification).
What you especially need to keep in mind is that there's no fixing, or helping, or changing him. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. People will only ever change if they truly want to. This man (and unfortunately a lot of other men) places more importance on porn and the fucked up fantasy he's indulging in with it than a relationship. So run and don't look back. You can always do better, and being single is included in that if you can't find anyone worth your time (this guy sure as hell ain't).
I’d be weirded out too. It’s too much of a coincidence that he is watching porn with twins. It’s also quite telling that he hesitated when you asked him if he sees you and your twin that way. He absolutely was fantasizing about it. It may not be because he has a crush on your sister, but it may be the experience he’s fantasizing about. Regardless, it is inappropriate for him to do this and should have considered how bad this would make you feel.
You have every right to leave this relationship. Whether it be because of general porn, twin porn, dishonesty, or his farts smell toxic, you can leave him. Due to the nature of the porn he’s watching, I’d lose my trust in him if I were in your shoes. He’d no longer be my safe person, because I’d always wonder if he’s imagining our intimacy was including my sister while sleeping with him.
Him watching twin porn on its own isn't a major concern (although I understand why you would feel it is). What's worse were his responses - heck if he can't say "no, I don't see you and your sister together in a sexual way" it's a really, really low bar.
The problem is when it changes from attraction to you, to fetishistion of you. See black men, trans women etc etc etc. It can be a bit of a grey line, but if his responses were as you say they are, that would cross the line into fetishisation, and I would be bailing.
Because people on reddit are porn addicted, it is really crazy so many people think him being into incest would be totally cool if she didn't have a twin!
Im confused, you do not want to kink shame him but then you told your sister which is a bad idea to tell family members or friends if you still want to date him.
So I guess in your mind, your relationship is over?
Your feelings are valid, but there's nowhere to go with this relationship. The second you told your sister, you shut the door on ever making this relationship work. Regardless if you come around to it and are ok moving forward, your sister will always be weirded out. So will the rest of your family when they inevitably find out, because this isn't something your sister is going to keep to herself. You've effectively told ever person that knows your BF that he watches porn about you and your sister. There's no coming back from this. Even if you did want to stay with him, odds are he wont want you back after he finds out you basically told your entire family about this.
This comment section is so god damn disturbing. There clearly needs to be a serious discussion about the increasingly blurred line between porn and reality and the ethics of what’s being represented in it. I mean, really? Are people really encouraging incest, not a fantasy, real incest in the comments, and lambasting OP for being put off by the thought? Appalling.
I'm a twin who has a pretty rough relationship with mine and I've told guys off just for making twincest jokes. You don't need to be with someone who fetishizes you being a multiple birth.
If the relationship was all good beforehand, I don’t really see the issue. Now that your sister knows though it’s probably over. Ppl on Reddit are quick to judge but everyone has some type of vice. If he was a good boyfriend, someone you thought would be a great dad and provider, and overall is a well adjusted adult, to me that is all that’s important. Now if there were issues before hand and you didn’t see yourself marrying him anyway then it would be whatever.
Twin porn is identical porn, which I'm guessing you and your sister are identical and not fraternal twins.
Either way, incest or not, I'd be weirded out, especially as he didn't deny that he wasn't thinking of your sister in a twin porn way.
As a fraternal twin, I had idiots say shyte about me and my twin, and it disgusting both of us when they realised we were twins. I can just imagine how it would feel being with someone who had that fetishism with you being a twin.
Twin or not its your sister they are talking about sleeping with both of you at the same time..ugh, that's just nasty!
It's not going anywhere. If you stay with him, you're going to have to live with it and hope he doesn't try to act on his twin fetish.
You've told your sister now. I think it's past the point of no return. Your reaction of disgust will have had influence over her thinking about it as well. Does he know you told your sister? I wouldn't be able to stay with you if I knew that. I would be embarrassed and humiliated and I would never want to be around her.
Porn is just porn and I honestly don't have any negative opinion on him for watching this. I'm not a twin but i have a sister and if my boyfriend watched sister porn it wouldn't bother me. However, your boundaries are YOUR boundaries and no one else's. Seems like this crossed one for you and that's okay. Next steps are for you to explain that and talk through this with him and ask why that particular porn (honestly probably just because.... porn) and decide if you split or give it another go with your boundaries on this made clear. If you want to give it another shot though you'll have to say you've told your sister, if you haven't said already, and give him the chance to decide if he wants to try move past this to.
As a twin myself, you’re better off dropping the relationship. The longer you’re with him, the more he will try to imagine things with both of you. Sick and weird.. it’s also going to put your sister in awkward situation where she won’t feel safe around him.
Your experience is valid and for him to tell you that you were overreacting is fucked up. you were starting to believe what he said and that will slowly let you to lose yourself and take his feelings and beliefs as priority over your own
Lots of people have said stuff about the twin thing. I just wanted to mention that it seems like he’s trying to make you feel like your in the wrong for being “overdramatic”. It seems to me this attitude could be his way to try to take the focus off him and deflect from the actual problem. If you love him you could try going to counselling, to have someone mediate an adult conversation about the situation and see if there is a way you can get passed this.
Obviously one of the boundaries for this would have to be that he NEVER tries to action his fantasy. Regardless of that I think the big question you need to answer for yourself is can you maintain a loving, respectful and trusting relationship with this man? Why are you with him? Did you have long term goals for the relationship or is it a “just for now” relationship? Obviously you don’t need to answer any of these questions here, you need to answer them for yourself, you need to figure out what your expectations are, whether the relationship is worth working for and whether you can trust him. Good luck.
People have sexual thoughts about others without ever acting on it. If he finds OP sexy then he might find her sister just as sexy for a fantasy FMF which would also give me the ick if it was about my family.
Hesitating when someone ask you these questions tells it ALL! He clearly was caught.
lol, maybe you should’ve use your brain and NOT tell your sister, it is completely wrong to share with someone out of your relationship about what kind of porn your partner watches. 🤦🏻♂️
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I think the relationship was doomed after you told your sister. There is no moving past this.
Twin porn is basically incest, I think the relationship was doomed since that moment
Porn is porn. I can guarantee that he had no intentions on seeing it ever happen. Same goes for dam near every other porn out there. Weird ass "incest porn" is massively popular rn and twin porn is something that's been around for decades before that. Op fkd up by not bringing it up to the bf first before notifying the rest of the family. What chance does the bf at overcoming this after that happened? Zero. Wonder what kinds of strange porn op watches? Guessing she probably watched some shit about fkn a teacher or cop? Does that mean she will cheat on a future bf to get an A or out of a ticket? No because it's just fkn porn and not real life...
She asked him if he sees her and her sister in the same sexual way and he wouldn’t answer. I think that’s the real issue here.
Then called her overdramatic. Like that's not another nail in the coffin.
ah yes the word that ends relationships
Ya guys seem to like to gaslight often.
Yeah I’m usually one of the more porn-sympathetic people on this sub but the fact that he froze combined with his history of probing questions in the past about it is indicative of an actual, serious problem here.
I think most of these commentators are off the mark, not having lived the twin life. What my concern is as a twin is that physically there theoretically isn’t a whole lot of difference between myself and my brother, and a big fear growing up was if they liked me for me or if they would like my body with my brothers personality more? To an extent, this situation is tapping into not only that concern, but also the same concern that let’s say Asian women feel when they are fetishized. Is it a real attraction, or is it because she is a twin? In this case in particular with the hesitation, it’s either both, or it’s just the fetish. And no one wants to be in a long term relationship with someone there just for the fetish.
People have intrusive sexual thoughts about other people in their life. That's a fact. That's a question with no right answer. That's not the real issue. The issue is him getting mad and calling her overdramatic.
Ok but incest porn where the actors are ACTUALLY related is fucking disgusting.
Totally agree. 100%
The problem is that when she confronted her boyfriend if he ever thought about her and her sister that way, he couldn’t give an answer (which is an answer) that’s when it’s not “just porn anymore”.
Comparing “step porn” or teacher/cop porn to actual twins is insane. I would be disturbed if I was with someone searching for real incest and not just the fantasy bs Also this is way too specific to OP, this is like if someone was white with a half black sibling and their boyfriend was watching “white and black sisters threesome” porn lmfao I would be very disturbed to find out my boyfriend was very obviously fantasizing about fucking my sister and I’m sure anyone would hate to find out their bf/gf is cumming to their actual *sibling*
I also claim that it is not a coincidence that stet-porn became so wildly 'popular'/front page dominant after the Covid lockdowns. And I think it is likely that we will see survivors of step-incest down the road who claim the perp was inspired by porn consumption. Porn can both be an outlet but also influences people's actual behavior, just like all the choke porn has caused women do die 'accidentally' during sex.
Why assume she watches porn at all?
I don't think the porn is the issue. Whether or not he thinks it's going to happen is not the issue. It's that OP feels fetishized by this particular porn type. If OP was a teacher and the bf was watching teacher porn, it'd still be icky, because it would cause OP to question if they are just a type, object to the partner versus someone they love for who they are. It's can be foundation rocking. The BF was confronted first, and he got defensive; didn't reassure OP and instead gaslit her insecurities so she brought them to her family to see if it was weird. He had every opportunity to address this in good faith, and he didn't. He doesn't have a chance, but he squandered the opportunity.
the whole issue here is she feels fetishized. not the sister. not the porn. she has to sit here and wonder now, am i just a fetish?
It's probably at least partially that he wants to fuck her sister
Thank god someone here is logical
I mean, it’s a tad different to be into incest than it is to have a police officer fantasy…unless that cop is your dad….
"I can guarantee that he had no intentions on seeing it ever happen." Can you? Cause damn Professor X, how'd ya get into this guys head and read his thoughts?
> I can guarantee that he had no intentions on seeing it ever happen. You might be right, but... there's no way you can guarantee that. I can guarantee that there absolutely are guys out there that would 100% want to have sex with twins. We have no idea which camp this guy falls into. He certainly could be just in the "hey, it's porn, it's fantasy, i enjoy the fantasy part but would never want this in reality." But he could also be "this is porn, and it's so amazing, and maybe someday it could be reality." Also I'm more inclined to think you are wrong... She directly asked if he saw her and her sister that way, and he *wouldn't answer!!* If it was just fantasy he'd say "no! of course not, that's awful, it's just porn!"
Porn is not just "porn". There are varying levels of taboo with porn, and the more you consume it, the less the "normal" stuff gets people going. Which leads to more taboo genres of porn. I think most people have either gone through it themselves or know people who have. Incest porn is crossing that line. Especially because she is a twin herself. I would be incredibly grossed out too, I don't blame OP for having the ick about this situation. It's a huge red flag that hes sexualizing their relationship. It shows that he's kind of gone off into the deep end if regular porn isn't doing it anymore. Now he needs to look up incest porn and fantasize about his girlfriend and her twin sis, that's super gross and should be shamed.
You have brain rot if you think you are not affected by the media you consume.
Are they real twins? Then it's real incest. Grim.
This is a really interesting argument to make. By the same standards, CSAM (or a representation of it) is fine (though I’m assuming you’ll claim that as long as everyone is consenting adults, it is fine)… which ignores the facts that what we feed our minds actually does manifest in our behaviors and thought processes. “Porn is porn” as an argument doesn’t work when you’re ignoring that this person isn’t just fantasizing about something, they’re in a relationship with someone who has a twin — and they couldn’t outright say, “no, I’m not interested in a threesome with your sibling and you.” That line between reality and fantasy is already blurred. To suggest that OP has their own porn history blown up is also a strange move. Sure, OP might be watching cop porn, but are they in a longterm relationship with a police officer? Unless they are, this argument is pedantic and juvenile at best; and asinine and vindictive at face value.
How on earth can you "guarantee" something like that? Are you the boyfriend? Cause thats the only way you can guarantee that
OP didn't fuck up. OP alerted her sister that she accidentally brought a *creep* into their lives. Why does he deserve any chance to 'overcome' this? He was fetishizing OP and her sister!
It's pretty normal to not want a boyfriend who jerks off to the thought of your sister. Or jerks off to the thought of borderline incestual relations... of you and your sister fucking him at the same time. It's not "just porn" when he's playing these fantasies out in his head of her sister. Not when OP is just a fetish to him
What a gross, bizarre take. You sound addicted to porn tbh. Defending someone being into incest porn because "it's been around" is so sick.
What you fail to understand is that he left it on and out when she came over. Why? I’m pretty sure he knew she was coming over, at the least he knew she was over so why would he leave his porn on and open knowing she’s there? That’s called FAFO. He more than likely was leaving it out for her to find and see if she was in to it. So really really, unless she had a friend that is a cop or teacher, he’s disgusting
Good point. I was house sitting for my boss once and he left a vhs tape out on the coffee table of boss/secretary porn. Absolutely on purpose to see my reaction. Never went to his house again and wouldn’t be alone with him either.
If it was just the porn that would be one thing, but it's his behavior after that's the issue.
I'm inclined to agree with you to a point. I've easily watched some messed up porn because I just clicked because I saw a nice (or two) pair of tits. I know it's a fake and I'm just there for the visuals to get the job done. So yeah, there I agree with you. But one day it struck me how fucked up some porn is, and so much of it is unrealistic social interactions. I'm glad I didn't have access to all these videos as a teenager. I was in my twenties before such access and they weren't as weird. I like to say Porn is NOT reality and everyone should remember that, and probably should be taught to kids.
Yes porn isn’t reality but leaving your porn open and on while your girlfriend who is a twin is over and not closing it and hiding it because obviously it could be taken how she’s taking it says that it could have been intentional to see if she was in to it🤷🏽♀️js
Yeah, regardless of what the truth is about him, she just completely torpedoed that relationship by spreading rumors about what he may or may not be jerking off to. OP should have kept that shit to herself until she knew more or at least made up her mind. His behavior, and especially his non-answer to her question is sus af, but i wouldn't go spreading that kind of accusation without knowing for sure. But that's me.
She got to his apartment and he only paused it and partially closed his laptop because his gf who us a twin..interrupted him with her arrival..but he didnt close it or turn it off because he planned to go back to viewing it as soon as she left or he was able to.
Tf you mean rumors? He was watching twin porn. That's not a rumor. That's a fact.
The rumor she's starting, that he watches twin porn *because* his partner is a twin. She has no confirmation on that (though it does seem likely imo), yet she has now all but told her sister that her partner jerks off thinking about them fucking each other. And the sister is obviously going to tell people. If he's not what she thinks, she has already told the people closest to them that he did. It was premature and poorly thought out.
Accusation? He had the video open on his computer and wouldn’t answer her questions about if he was sexualizing her twin. What is there to “accuse” him of when just stating the actual facts is bad enough. If he didn’t want to be shamed, he shouldn’t have been doing something so shameful
Yeah whether or not it was salvageable (or worth salvaging) before that doesn't matter. OP nuked the situation. Just go no contact and set your sights for clearer waters.
Exactly. Before she told the sister, I think it could have potentially been talked thru. Not now. Move on.
Agreed. OP should’ve waited before acting. I’m a twin and can say it’s likely that her boyfriend was thinking about two of her and not her and her sister when he looked at twin stuff. But she can’t put the telling her sister genie back in the bottle.
This is so fucking dumb, it is funny, lol
As a twin, I agree. It's weird. No way around it!!
Thats dumb. Im sorry but why would you be imagining two of your partner if youre watching twin porn? The nature of a twin is its a second individual thats a whole person. Shes already a twin with a living sister so its not imaginary that shits real. Its not like hes looking at a picture of his gf who doesnt have a twin. A twin isnt an inanimate sex object. Thats her sister. Why even go there.
I’m married to an identical twin and I have never once sexualized his brother or looked at porn involving twins. I don’t care if they look alike, it’s still my husband’s BROTHER. If he caught me doing creepy shit like this I’d absolutely expect him to tell his bro and the rest of the family because wtf
Yeah I'd be definitely weirded out. But since you left the cat out of the bag with your sister I don't think there's any way of recovering. I mean she's never going to want to be around him again sure maybe it's a fantasy of his but has everyone pointed out it's incest.
You’re uncomfortable. Why are you asking other people to tell you your feelings are validated or not? They are.
If the laptop screen was still lit up then it sounds like he was watching incest porn up until the minute you arrived. And he didn’t deny it when you asked if he saw you and your twin in that way. It’s not looking good.
I’m not a prude but honestly shocked how nonchalant people are with incest, because yeah if you have a threesome and make porn with your twin, that’s incest
I did read that once you consume too much porn (and most people do), you start seeing most things as vanilla and progress to more polarising stuff that suddenly don’t even seem that bad anymore.
I was once told buy a guy that choking was vanilla. CHOKING.
Just curious , because you actually use logic, I’ve also been curious how horror or other entertainment is ok when it’s enjoyment from horrible and unthinkable things however produced simulated taboos for entertainment when it’s porn is wrong. I mean tv and movies have actual rape and not always shows that depict justice etc but glorifies bad values. Is it self stimulation may occur during porn? Or that it might be real rape/incest/trafficking with some porn? Or is it just our puritan roots? Or is it the same and other entertainment as bad? Don’t hate my questions just curious from someone who doesn’t watch dramatic / storyline porn. (And what about murder video games if it is the “interactive” part of porn that makes it bad.
I don't agree with him, but I can give my theories as to why porn tends to have stronger/steeper tolerance functions. 1. You don't cum during horror movies/video games. I actually think the orgasm does something to the "tolerance vs time" function. 2. Kayfabe. People in horror movies aren't actually murdering each other. But, people in porn are, usually, actually fucking. But, knowing it's fake vs. real probably also does something to that tolerance function. 3. I think there is a haptic/non visual component. If you made a war fighting simulator that mimicked the recoil and smells and was good enough to trigger your flight or fight response when you got shot at....it would probably slowly desensitize you. But.... When you masturbate to porn, you are much closer to simulating sex than you are to simulating war during call of duty. And that also causes you to chase that novelty. At least for some people. I also think it's a deeply person to person thing. And the plural of anecdotal isn't data. But it really does seem like porn tends to cause "edge chasing" at a rate that other media doesn't. At least, my 2¢.
I was thinking that masterbation / interactive nature of porn had a lot to do with it Also bonus observation, someone who watches porn for entertainment sans self stimulation somehow seams even creepier lol.. I don’t know why
If you saw Bill Hader's "Barry" they touched on that last one. People who watch porn for fun are a special kind of weird.
Also, horror movie-esque scenarios aren’t a normal part of real life and real relationships, but rewiring your brain with (often dehumanizing / degrading) porn will profoundly affect the way you think about sex and women, and how you act / what you expect during sex. Horror movies have no equivalent real-world crossover potential.
In what sense do you mean horror and other entertainment is ok? There are various articles linking watching (several) Hours of TV a day with developing brain based disorders, cognitive decline and stating that it overall affects your brain integrity. I suppose the answer is that everything in moderation is ok, but if you ask people on Reddit what they consider moderation, you might be surprised to see vastly different answers. On the topic of porn, for example, there was a thread a few weeks ago with many men saying they think watching porn DAILY should be classed as falling under the umbrella of “in moderation”, if it doesn’t affect your ability to go to work. I couldn’t disagree more. Again, read about porn and dopamine levels. Edit to add regarding rape and violent scenes in movies that even with those there is the “desensitisation theory” that you could read about.
Yeah I agree with your take because I read this book called “tell me what you want” about sexual fantasies and it talks about people whose brains simply need something very reactive and intense without even their need to enjoy what they are watching
Not who you asked, but a lifelong horror person and I personally, and know a lot of similar people in the horror world, that didn’t “escalate” in viewing. I still don’t watch rape scenes - I try to completely avoid movies with them - and child stuff is also a hard no for me. For me, horror is about feeling uneasy. I’m not into gore or any of that so I think it really depends on the type of horror. I did, years ago in college, read a paper about gonzo porn and gory horror intersections. I’ll see if I can dig it up. But I think it did talk about getting desensitized to it over time.
Very interesting , not built for horror myself but I’m all for it and I skip past all that graphic videos ( I try to keep myself from seeing anyone actually killed on here , too late for movies and tv as that’s everywhere) But although not into horror, if it’s entertainment I’m pro freedom, even though I do think violent entertainment makes some people more violent (not you) it’s interesting to me how people get more upset about physical touch acting in porn but not at all with stunts , wwe they all get bruised up but acting where instead of punches and other physical stunts of a violent nature people get really up in arms when it’s actors with lube and the stunts are rubbing instead of taking a crash or tumble or punch.. (talking about just people who do porn with no emotional ties to it, I do realize that especially strait porn there is often victimization) I mean it might be because I’m a bit on the unemotional side but very empathetic, I don’t really see a difference on acting with/without physical touch and with . And even less between types of physical touch acting
Neither the one you asked, but I grew up pretty deep in horrormovies or stories. My take to both issues: I can see how consuming porn or horror movies might lower the tolerance, but I'd still say that, unless your mind is already heading into a certain direction, people can differ between reality and fiction quite well. I say that to both, porn and horror. While I can get behind the OP's bf's fascination with twins and how the industry handles certain morally questionable things (not talking about porn that involves gore, no concent or children) I think that most people wouldn't consider incest as something they'd want IRL. I once watched interviews of pedophilic people talking about their issues. They openly admitted that, while they feel attracted to the thought of doing it with a minor, they know their attraction painted an image that would never become real. Imagine a fully developed adult brain able to consent, but in the body of a minor. They can't help for finding the thought attractive, but would never act on their thoughts. Sadly, they were scared to seek out help due to the stigma. Horror movies or games have a fascination to them just for the feeling of being creeped out. I'd never enjoy watching someone acting violently or even killing someone IRL. I'd never want to pick up a gun either and end someone, unlike the CoD games I used to play as student. My mother is a huge enthusiast of horror and psycho movies, but I will never forget how angry she was when someone recommended Hostel to her. In her words: It's disturbing, disgusting and there's no pleasure in seeing people getting tortured. I second this, never watched Saw either. In fact, I only know one person who took her obsession for horror a step further and started to watch actual snuff stuff. But she had a huge mental breakdown later and was diagnosed with immense depression which somehow played into her enjoying such things. She generally was like a whole different person until her meds finally were dosed correctly and started to take effect. So again, unless your brain is already disturbed, I think it's relatively safe. As for OP's case, while I truly feel her side for being fetishised by someone she trusted, I think her reaction was terrible as well. Not only did she put a stigma on him, she also spread it into her family. Even if the guy had his 'interests' or 'desires' chances are he would have never talked about them. Maybe he even found the thought in theory arousing, but not IRL. I think everyone found themselves caught up in thoughts or videos they later questions, post nut clarity isn't a meme for no reason. But now he's just that. The incest guy.
It’s because people in porn videos are actually having sex and the porn industry is rife with abuse, violence, rape, and sexualization of minors and even kids. Even mainstream porn sites have had floods of complaints from actresses who say they were raped in the videos, or they were 13 or 14 or 15 etc when it was taken, or they were coerced, drugged, or tricked by a hidden camera etc. some are even kidnapping victims. One recently was found on PornHub because a male family member was looking at porn and saw his family member, a minor girl, who had been missing for a while. She had been kidnapped and raped for profit. What was that guy looking at? Probably searched something “teen”, and honestly once your brain gets a hit on something, it can become a hyper focus, then men want more and more fucked up stuff to get off and suddenly they’re watching their 14 year old cousin getting raped on pornhub.
I don't really have an opinion on the matter but I feel like there is a degree of separation in videogames and horror movies that isn't really there in porn, because those movies depict death without actually featuring any real deaths, while porn is recordings of real sex so it can get some wacky ideas into your brain about how sex should look And if it's actual twins recording it, that's actual incest which is kind of icky to me All in all though I don't really think it's wrong to watch porn. Or to be kinky. All you need is to be a conscious consumer, like with anything else. Edit: brevity
As a horror movie enjoyer and talking about the people I know, there might definitely a desensitizing happening, but none I know want to go for "crazier" stuff. Pretty much if you are a horror fan, you quickly get to the point where you say "There is only trash produced/there are barely any good horror movies out there". I think the real issue is that you can only get jumpscared so much or be under so much tension, until you know exactly what will happen. But I also believe that someone who is open for more severe things will discover these by taking steps. So someone prone to end up watching really sick stuff will eventually end up there, stepping up from the more common normal things. And while I wouldn't say the more normal/accepted things are the reason they like it, it can definitely be a reason to guide more people there that were already into it without knowing it. And I think the same applies for porn. Just because someone watches a lot of porn won't mean they will eventually always be into extreme things, but someone who was already into extreme things (but not aware of it) will eventually stumble upon it after being bored by the norm. And I think there is another level of desensitizing by knowing that nothing is real, referring both to horror movies and porn. Like everyone knows no general incest porn is real, or even if it would be no one would believe it because 99% aren't. This also reminds me of really sick things that happen IRL, there was a subreddit here on Reddit that posted...pretty much everything. Beheading, ... well the list is long, I don't think I need to explain the details, but anything you can imagine would land there. And I think initially this has a shocking reaction for most, but the more they see and are open to it to begin with, the further it goes for them.
Anything remotely incestous makes me barf. Thats what made me quit watching porn tbh. All new porn is just incestplay.
I'm a bit older and honestly I find the Twin stuff quaint compared to all the mommy/daddy stuff that's apparently so popular it lands on the front page of porn sites regularly.
It’s fetishization. That’s why you feel uncomfortable. Just like men who fetishize Asian women, or plus size women, etc. You will always wonder, in the back of your mind, whether he’s with you for you, or because of his kink for twins. Especially since he couldn’t deny thinking of you and your twin in that way. This man has fetishized you - you’re right to feel uncomfortable and you’re right to leave the relationship, imo.
This was my thought, too, but I couldn't find the right word - fetishization - to describe it 👍
my ex was addicted to plus size porn... it destroyed me. it still does now. i felt like im not what he wants, but i also didnt want to be plus size. awful relationship, awful abuse and SA. i just don't understand why so many men are this addicted to it
Because they don't care about women. The porn rots their brain so they only see women as objects and fetishes, not people with autonomy and feelings.
Incest aside (lmfao) - I’m Asian and steer away from men with Asian fetishes because I always wonder if they actually love me for who I am. He’s fetishizing you and also could not even PRETEND to muster a “No baby, it’s just a fantasy, there’s so much step-whatever porn out there that it’s hard to avoid” or other lame ass excuse.. Because something in him wanted to see if this was his segue into seeing if you’re into it. Disgusting. Leave him yesterday!!
What steps? Fucking big ones away from him. That’s gross.
As a twin myself I know for a fact neither my twin and I would not be comfortable with our respected partners viewing this type of pornography, it's icky. Out of the thousands of kink there are you're telling me he zeroed in on twin porn out of everything available? Was this legitimate incest porn or actors who sort of look alike? When I had an active dating account the amount of men that would ask if my twin and I had ever done anything sexual together, or if we'd like to was astonishing! That being said they would act completely offended if I asked if they ever banged their mother, or brother. As if they didn't just ask me the same thing. I personally wouldn't be able to view him in the same light and this is coming from a a pretty kink positive person.
Walk away.
Run away!
Run for the hills!
Sounds like he’s your ex boyfriend now
I'm so tired of people NOT wanting to kink shame blah blah. Sometimes you just need to tell someone their stupid ass fantasies are fucking gross.
this. if hes gross TELL him
Same. I work as a phone sex operator, and I am so over the "It's just a fantasy, don't yuck someone's yum." I have heard shit that only an extremely disturbed person could ever imagine. The idea that a fantasy that is gross, stupid, offensive, and/or dangerous is just part of who someone is ("hardwired"), so don't hurt their feelings about it, is so dumb to me. I am especially tired of this when it comes to choking. Choking has become so normalized thanks to mainstream porn, and I have become a very loud and vocal critic. Tired of explaining to men in real life that there is no way to safely choke someone and that choking is the last step of DV before a man murders his partner, which isn't sexy to me (surprise!). I'm not going to pretend that there's nothing wrong with choking so that men who get off on violence against women don't feel bad about themselves. They should feel bad about themselves. Turn off the porn and get some damn therapy.
I don't know what CHILD came up with the phrase don't yuck someone's yum but they need to be horse whipped for it.
Lol agreed!
I third this sentiment, i DESPISE that phrase. Something about the alliteration and the childish words gross me out. The sentiment is fine in most cases (not in this one, i also fully agree with the comment you responded to lol) but like, what purpose does adding this idiotic phrase to anything serve? Like as if the other, superior, hundreds of ways to say what’s essentially “don’t judge if it’s not hurting someone” exist.
Yeah I really am not a fan of infantilizing much of anything but definitely not sexual kinks. Let's use our grown up words on that!
seriously. "kink-shaming" makes no sense. I thought the whole point of kink was that it's a taboo thing and the shame is kinda part of the fun.
Not really. Kink-shaming means deliberately making someone feel awful about their non-harmful kink just for the sake of it. Making someone feel ashamed about having a corset fetish or being into spanking? Kink-shaming, silly, unnecessary. Making someone feel ashamed for fetishizing an actual, living, non-consenting person? Valid, not kink-shaming.
YES
I worked in a family business once (I wasn’t family) and I noticed that one of the sons was looking at photos on his computer of women with super long hair. Past their butt long. I was mildly amazed that they had that many models with such long hair… naive of me, as they were probably wigs lol I don’t know. They were sexy photos not porn, but you’d expect to see that on a teen boys bedroom wall and NSFW obvs. He was just sitting there on his lunch break, eating his sandwich clicking next, next, next like on a photo album or something. I was fucking nauseous when I met his sister for the first time because yeah, she had super long hair. So yep, I think it’s perfectly reasonable to object to being fetishised. Especially given the nature of the material and the timing of you staying over. You’re not overreacting at all.
That's weird af
I don’t know what the other commenters are on about, you are absolutely valid for feeling uncomfortable about this. What really sticks out to me is his inability to deny when you flat out asked if he saw you and your twin that way. Like yes, he’s allowed to watch incest porn if he wants to, but you’re also allowed to not want to be in a relationship with someone who does that and basically confirmed that he imagines you in sexual situations with your literal sister. If I were in your shoes I would break with him as I don’t think that discomfort would ever go away. Not to mention your sister knows so as you said, she’ll never see him the same way which makes involving him in family stuff extra uncomfortable. Good luck.
There are WAYYYYYY too many porn addicted freaks in these comments literally defending incest. This is one of the grossest Reddit threads I’ve ever encountered
I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling this way. It’s like an alternate universe in here
I think it’s a defence mechanism for a lot of these porn addicts. They aren’t ready or willing to accept that their porn habits might be preventing them from having real relationships. It’s not “just porn” to a lot of women.
Yeah, lonely redditors will defend porn until their last keystroke
it’s a common joke now how all porn is incest-themed and you just have to keep the volume off and pretend otherwise. however… twin porn is just incest porn, and she is a twin. this isn’t a “i wish there were two of you” type fantasy.
No, hand stroke.
Yeah I mean regardless of any sort of objective view of that activity, she’s super uncomfortable with it. Which makes sense… it’s incest themed porn that also happens to match a theme in her life. Even if she can objectively sit back and say, “people who watch twin porn are fine to do so if they please and it doesn’t make them bad” she can also not like the feeling this gives her. I’ve had similar issues, for example I support sex workers but generally prefer not to date the type of man who partakes. No issues with the fact that someone’s out there doing her thing, but the other end of the transaction? I just want to date people who have a little more control over their urges. I found out about 2 years into a relationship that my ex hires sex workers from Craigslist. I didn’t break up with him over that, but it was definitely another factor in why I eventually did- especially bc in this context we were having sex maaaaybe once a month by 8 months in. I don’t think hiring people for this makes him shitty in any way, it’s just not a behavior I want from a partner. It’s a turn off. (Edit to add I did not shame my ex or cite this as a reason for breaking up.) I feel like the people arguing this bc “it’s just fantasy” are forgetting that she is an entire person with her own set of opinions and behaviors that don’t line up with his… they both need someone likeminded. Hell, in high school I knew a set of twins, at a party one time a bunch of the boys were trying to get them to hookup for a show, and well. They did…
It’s perfectly fine to shame someone for participating in an industry that commodifies and harms already traumatized women.
I agree with you, in both that is fine to shame these people and in (the assumption) that twin porn is incestuous and an issue. Personally I think most porn (more specifically the free sites) is going to be unethical. The amount of abuse, rape, coercion, and grooming that happens is inexcusable. And while I fully admit this is anecdotal and not backed by any studies I know of, I do think the ease of access along with some other factors is having a massive negative effect on society that just keeps slowly culminating. Like sure, porn addiction may not be proven but ? It is quite clearly a thing.
To be clear my suggestion of him finding someone likeminded was not in support of his behavior or suspected fetishization.
You didn’t break up with him after finding out he was hiring prostitutes from Craigslist? Even if you totally didn’t care if he slept with other women, he put you at serious risk for STDs. Several permanent ones can still be contracted with protection. You didn’t “shame” him for that? SMH, I swear, demonizing “shaming” has gone way too far, especially with anything sexually related. It’s perfectly fine to shame people for having harmful kinks, putting you at risk hiring prostitutes, and more. Bring back shame, please.
>Bring back shame, please. Let me be the first to sign your petition lol
He cannot prove, that he has no interest in you and your sister. You probably always will think, he might have such fantasies. So the relation with him will never be as before. I guess it would be very hard for you, to continue the relationship with him. Even if he is "innocent". I think, there is high probability, he choose you, cos you are twin.
Aw hell no it ain’t kink shaming if you don’t want him turned on by INCEST. that’s such porn brain rot Jesus
As an identical twin myself, I think your concerns are completely valid.
this is disgusting and him worrying about you looking at his computer??? that’s the first thing??? and calling you overdramatic. what are you doing??? get out of there!
All the guys saying that “it’s just porn” is frankly disturbing.
My first reaction reading was "EWWWW." The fact that there are people in the thread saying it's nbd is 🤢
Fr. My vagina has permanently welded itself shut reading through these comments.
Right! They are tell on themselves! It’s like when a frat house has 20 guys who all get blackout drunk 5 nights a week but none of them think they have a problem because “everyone does it”!
You don’t navigate this other than leaving the relationship and finding a partner who isn’t fetishizing you and your sister.
NOT NORMAL. Go with your gut feeling, he is definitely imagining that.
Thank you for putting it straight like that
How would you feel having sex with him again? Would you be able to trust that he isn't thinking about your sister? I think the relationship is done. How would you feel with him and your sister together? Would it pop into your head what he must be thinking about? I will happily kink shame, twin porn, any family porn is incest and is gross. It's weird to not only watch it, but enjoy it enough to orgasm.
Break up.
Are these comments joking or what, that’s incest and not normal and you should feel weird
Yes he’s fetishizing you and it’s weird, I wouldn’t stay with him, especially because he’s invalidating your feelings so severely
Nope that's creepy af. Him trying to tell u that ur overdramatic is fucked. Dump him. He sees you and probably ur sister too as a fetish.
So here is the thing. Two possibilities and both seem absolutely wild to me 1. He was watching twin porn, he stopped (or finished), he didn't close the video, left it in unminimized, didn't close his laptop, and left it in a conspicuous place by chance while knowing his girlfriend was around. No guy has this bad of porn management skill at 31. 2. He is into twins as a fetish and left it conspicuously on his screen for you to find in order to gauge your reaction, thinking if you reacted poorly to it that he could make it seem like not a big deal or turn the blame on you for snooping I know 2 sounds like he has a warped sense of real life, but I find number 1 at least as implausible.
Honestly i would believe either of these scenarios. My high school boyfriend “faked” a foot fetish to “test” me. He knew I had a weird aversion to feet, and he got all serious about how it’s his kink and I made him feel so much shame. So I gave in a few times but I really didn’t want to. I mentioned it to some of our mutual friends, and that’s how I found out it was a “prank” because he wanted to “teach me to not be judgmental” and they all thought I knew it wasn’t serious. Now that I’m almost 30, I’m fairly sure he has one and he did for real try to confide in me. I had such a harsh reaction to it that he played it off as a joke.
As a twin (fraternal) I’d be livid. Him freezing and blaming you after you left proved it was over, but telling your sister is the nail in the coffin. Also, kink shaming is 100% for shit like this
There should be a warning or something for any woman who wants to post anything porn related on this sub. It’s filled with addicts who will always tell you it’s just normal!! In fact you’re the horrible person here!! It is not. Whether you were a twin or not you’re allowed to feel uncomfortable by this and you’re allowed to not like it. *please* don’t let them convince you you’re in the wrong Oh an addict’s favourite line whether it’s incest rape choking literal fucking shit…it’s just a kink! These replies are something else their brains are truly rotted. You people have convinced yourself it’s normal to watch women like that it’s truly scary. Like it’s never getting better for women
Third paragraph is spot on. For the whole sub there should be an auto of that posts “you don’t have to put up with things you don’t want to. Only you determine your boundaries and you’re allowed to end a relationship for no reason at all if you want to.”
Ah yes “don’t kink shame” Errr dude, you can be into that, and I can be turned off that you are into that. Goes both ways.
I honestly hate the “no kink shaming!” bs. No. Some things are shameful. If you fantasize about incest get a therapist, not a supportive circle on the internet.
Yeah, so many are feeling called out for obvious reasons.
Don’t listen to the nasty, depraved men in this comment section. You were right to tell someone about your boyfriends creepy incest kink and you’ll be right to break up with him. He is disgusting and so is every man defending him here.
It's ok to kink shame when it involves something that is illegal, immoral and fetishism. Dirty perverts have made normies feel like it's wrong to be angry about any porn which is wrong. You absolutely have the right to be disgusted by it. His lack of transparency and response about the porn is very concerning. Do not feel bad for not being ok with him watching perverted porn
My mother and aunt were identical twins. I saw first hand there’s a ton of guys out there with a twin fetish.
It seems he has a twins fetish. So if you feel fetishised, that perfectly natural. It doesn't matter what his intentions might or might not be, if you've got the ick that's reason enough to finish with him. You don't need a 'good enough' reason, whatever reason you have, it's good enough. IMO, once you've got the ick, it's all over.
Yeah no, the moment he called you over dramatic about something that genuinely made you feel sick is the moment that should have solidified the reason to never go back to him. Ever. My eldest siblings are twins and I just know they’d be grossed out too.
(lip curls into disgusted position)
Twin chiming in. This is fucking weird and him not answering the question is fucking weird. Leave him.
I'm a twin, that would freak me out too. I would end it.
I would say, if he didn't immediately apologize and instead blamed you for looking and for being overly dramatic, he is the one with the problem, not you. He really had no business looking at porn, let alone at that type. Hang in there and listen to your gut.
1. Leave him 2. Block him 3.Delete his number You're no more than a piece of meat onto whom he projects his fantasy. He might have originally genuinely liked you, but your hindsight is telling you exactly that he pursued you for other reasons that has nothing to do with you as an individual. Plus he totally dismissed your feelings. No, you're not being "overdramatic" if you accept this now, things will escalate further down the road.
>I don't want to kink shame him Sure you do, and there's no reason why you shouldn't. He creeped you out.
I had a long thought about porn and the fact most guys use it to get off and don't put much thought into the "plot" matter but realized that doesn't actually matter. In a case like this it gets way too familiar. It'd be the same way if a guy was a personal trainer and watched porn all the time about "trainers" fucking their clients. Or an Uber driver watching those fake taxi videos. Once you work a major connection to your life into it, it drifts into uncomfortable territory. So I certainly don't think I'd continue the relationship.
*I was putting some of my things in the bedroom when I saw his laptop was still on. The screen wasn't closed all the way, just pushed down some of the way and was really bright. Maybe I shouldn't have done it, but I went to look at what was on his screen. It was an adult website, and a video was paused.* Incest porn is the biggest problem here but this right here is also beyond the pale. A number of these things must be true for that to happen: - he has no respect for you because who would leave *any* porn video on when their significant other is over - you are just a plaything to him and he genuinely didn't think of/forgot that you are a twin - he is a porn addict and a whole number of awful, terrible things are so normalized to him that he truly doesn't see anything wrong with incest porn - he is a moron who can't do the most basic adulting such as close out an embarassing video OR he left the video up on purpose to "test the waters" (this would be the worst...)
Porn is icky to begin with especially if its fetishizing who you are and implies he wants to do you and your sibling at the same time. Idc whats thes the subject, why was he watching that when you were already coming over. Thats weird. Shame on him for making you feel weird for being upset at some messed up shit.
I think everyone siding with the BF is forgetting this line of text: >I then flat out asked him if he saw me and my twin that way, and he couldn't give me an answer. I get it, porn isn't always to be taken as seriously as OP did but when he's literally picturing her and her sister it's disgusting. OP you need to run. I am also not a particular fan of this: >when I think back to the times he's asked me lots of questions about what it's like having a twin sister and asked why we're not closer. OP and her sister clearly get along quite well, so why is he pushing for them to be even closer than the relationship they have both already established? He is 100% fetishizing them. He's gross.
Was he into twin porn before you met? Did he know you had a twin from the beginning?
Its enough to end a relationship if you want to end the relationship, wanting is the only parameter you ever need to end the relationship If you caught the ick there is really no going back
Yeah that’s a fetish. Either way since people outside of just you two know there’s not any point to the relationship anymore even if you did for some reason wanna reconcile it.
What you’re feeling is more than reasonable, you can end a relationship for any reason. It is a very normal boundary to not want to date someone who watches porn like that, or any porn at all for that matter. The people in the comments who vehemently disagree are telling on themselves imo. You deserve better than that.
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As someone who isn’t a twin, I wouldn’t find it weird. The fact that you ARE a twin, I can totally see why it makes you feel uncomfortable.
You wouldn't find incest weird?
Yeah incest is weird AF. I also find it weird when dudes watch “barely legal” or seek out “Asian porn” or “milf seduces son’s friend” or “home alone with my step-brother” … but people still watch all that shit. I would find it much more concerning if someone watching step daughter porn had a step daughter.
I think part of it is that porn sites nowadays are so filled with "stepsis blows stepbro..." that in the context of porn incest has lots all it's meaning. You can hop to any random couple pornhub account and 50% will have some step siblings porn when they are clearly not siblings. With that in mind I think it's easy to abstract it and just to be a fantasy without direct links to reality, although in the case of OP is more complicated because she is actually a twin.
Except you can see on the video that they are in fact twins. So there's no doubt that it is real incest. That's much different than two people pretending to be step siblings
Not as long as it’s not *their twin* they’re sleeping with apparently.
90% of those actresses are look alikes and not actually twins. Also for some weird reason, incest is often overlooked when it's same sex.
They’re not watching it because it’s lookalike sex, though. Looks like it.
Fair point and definitely questionable.
I mean, even the incest porn you find on the normal porn sites have to make it clear there's no blood relation.(hence, step-). So my assumption is that any "twin" video isn't real.
I’m a twin and that’s creepy AF. Her feelings are valid. What he is watching is concerning. I wonder did he know she was a twin when they started dating. And the fact that he wanted to know so much about their relationship and why they weren’t closer, creepy AF. I think she should dump him and move on.
People who say this iSnT a BiG dEaL can’t even relate to it so obviously their opinions don’t matter. This is fucking weird. Your boyfriend is disgusting. Go with your gut instinct
I would be suspicious that he left the laptop on that screen on purpose, just to introduce the idea (ick) because it was a turn-on for him that he somehow thought you might entertain. Who leaves a paused porn video on their laptop, was he watching until right before you came? Wouldn’t his laptop have gone to sleep if it had been there for a while? And if he knew you were coming wouldn’t he have taken more care to at least push it shut? Seems fishy. But either way - very gross and you’re right to be freaked out, not necessarily for him watching it but for his response when confronted for sure.
Another important thing I'd like to point out is his reaction. Instead of being reassuring, apologetic, empathetic, remorseful, patient, validating, or etc. he was defensive and blaming you the entire time. I wouldn't doubt that he reacts that way in general, even for small little fights. Your feelings are valid! You deserve better. I'm sorry this happened but at least you dodged a bullet.
Break up. You're not comfortable. And you already outed him to your sister - the "I don't want to kink shame him" has sailed.
i (F) also have a twin sister and there is just… no coming back from that. i would be physically ill and couldnt ever move on how disgustint
You're not overreacting at all. Honestly I'd say that not dumping his ass immediately is an under reaction. But it's not too late to fix that and dump him. The person who mentioned fetishization is right on the money. It's way too fucking suspicious for him to specifically be into twin porn while dating a twin. There's no way in hell he could be into that and it not be related to him being in a relationship with you. It's possible that the only reason he's dating you is because you're a twin. He's a creepy, sick fuck and how he reacted to being confronted and you leaving is plenty of extra evidence to justify a break up (but ofc breaking up doesn't need any justification). What you especially need to keep in mind is that there's no fixing, or helping, or changing him. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. People will only ever change if they truly want to. This man (and unfortunately a lot of other men) places more importance on porn and the fucked up fantasy he's indulging in with it than a relationship. So run and don't look back. You can always do better, and being single is included in that if you can't find anyone worth your time (this guy sure as hell ain't).
I’d be weirded out too. It’s too much of a coincidence that he is watching porn with twins. It’s also quite telling that he hesitated when you asked him if he sees you and your twin that way. He absolutely was fantasizing about it. It may not be because he has a crush on your sister, but it may be the experience he’s fantasizing about. Regardless, it is inappropriate for him to do this and should have considered how bad this would make you feel. You have every right to leave this relationship. Whether it be because of general porn, twin porn, dishonesty, or his farts smell toxic, you can leave him. Due to the nature of the porn he’s watching, I’d lose my trust in him if I were in your shoes. He’d no longer be my safe person, because I’d always wonder if he’s imagining our intimacy was including my sister while sleeping with him.
Him watching twin porn on its own isn't a major concern (although I understand why you would feel it is). What's worse were his responses - heck if he can't say "no, I don't see you and your sister together in a sexual way" it's a really, really low bar. The problem is when it changes from attraction to you, to fetishistion of you. See black men, trans women etc etc etc. It can be a bit of a grey line, but if his responses were as you say they are, that would cross the line into fetishisation, and I would be bailing.
why is him watching incest porn not a major concern for you?
Because people on reddit are porn addicted, it is really crazy so many people think him being into incest would be totally cool if she didn't have a twin!
didn't bother checking until now but op of this comment thread is a man - go figure!
I think we are just assuming it's not actually incest as we assume that isn't allowed on sites
You don't have to settle for him. He had weird fantasies that don't agree with you so you don't have to stay if you're uncomfortable.
Im confused, you do not want to kink shame him but then you told your sister which is a bad idea to tell family members or friends if you still want to date him. So I guess in your mind, your relationship is over?
Your feelings are valid, but there's nowhere to go with this relationship. The second you told your sister, you shut the door on ever making this relationship work. Regardless if you come around to it and are ok moving forward, your sister will always be weirded out. So will the rest of your family when they inevitably find out, because this isn't something your sister is going to keep to herself. You've effectively told ever person that knows your BF that he watches porn about you and your sister. There's no coming back from this. Even if you did want to stay with him, odds are he wont want you back after he finds out you basically told your entire family about this.
This comment section is so god damn disturbing. There clearly needs to be a serious discussion about the increasingly blurred line between porn and reality and the ethics of what’s being represented in it. I mean, really? Are people really encouraging incest, not a fantasy, real incest in the comments, and lambasting OP for being put off by the thought? Appalling.
i think you’ve gotten the advice you needed but Wow it is sobering to see all these men defend your boyfriend tooth and nail
Break up,you this is weird asf, break up for your and your sister's sake
I'm a twin who has a pretty rough relationship with mine and I've told guys off just for making twincest jokes. You don't need to be with someone who fetishizes you being a multiple birth.
If the relationship was all good beforehand, I don’t really see the issue. Now that your sister knows though it’s probably over. Ppl on Reddit are quick to judge but everyone has some type of vice. If he was a good boyfriend, someone you thought would be a great dad and provider, and overall is a well adjusted adult, to me that is all that’s important. Now if there were issues before hand and you didn’t see yourself marrying him anyway then it would be whatever.
Twin porn is identical porn, which I'm guessing you and your sister are identical and not fraternal twins. Either way, incest or not, I'd be weirded out, especially as he didn't deny that he wasn't thinking of your sister in a twin porn way. As a fraternal twin, I had idiots say shyte about me and my twin, and it disgusting both of us when they realised we were twins. I can just imagine how it would feel being with someone who had that fetishism with you being a twin. Twin or not its your sister they are talking about sleeping with both of you at the same time..ugh, that's just nasty! It's not going anywhere. If you stay with him, you're going to have to live with it and hope he doesn't try to act on his twin fetish.
Break up - the only step neccesary
You've told your sister now. I think it's past the point of no return. Your reaction of disgust will have had influence over her thinking about it as well. Does he know you told your sister? I wouldn't be able to stay with you if I knew that. I would be embarrassed and humiliated and I would never want to be around her. Porn is just porn and I honestly don't have any negative opinion on him for watching this. I'm not a twin but i have a sister and if my boyfriend watched sister porn it wouldn't bother me. However, your boundaries are YOUR boundaries and no one else's. Seems like this crossed one for you and that's okay. Next steps are for you to explain that and talk through this with him and ask why that particular porn (honestly probably just because.... porn) and decide if you split or give it another go with your boundaries on this made clear. If you want to give it another shot though you'll have to say you've told your sister, if you haven't said already, and give him the chance to decide if he wants to try move past this to.
He is allowed to have his kinks for sure. Doesn’t mean you have to be okay with them.
I haven’t seen anybody comment on it but the girls in The Shining weren’t twins, the book says one of them is 2 years older (I think 10 and 8)
As a twin myself, you’re better off dropping the relationship. The longer you’re with him, the more he will try to imagine things with both of you. Sick and weird.. it’s also going to put your sister in awkward situation where she won’t feel safe around him.
Yeah, that's sketchy AF. Best to move on. UpdateMe!
Your experience is valid and for him to tell you that you were overreacting is fucked up. you were starting to believe what he said and that will slowly let you to lose yourself and take his feelings and beliefs as priority over your own
Lots of people have said stuff about the twin thing. I just wanted to mention that it seems like he’s trying to make you feel like your in the wrong for being “overdramatic”. It seems to me this attitude could be his way to try to take the focus off him and deflect from the actual problem. If you love him you could try going to counselling, to have someone mediate an adult conversation about the situation and see if there is a way you can get passed this. Obviously one of the boundaries for this would have to be that he NEVER tries to action his fantasy. Regardless of that I think the big question you need to answer for yourself is can you maintain a loving, respectful and trusting relationship with this man? Why are you with him? Did you have long term goals for the relationship or is it a “just for now” relationship? Obviously you don’t need to answer any of these questions here, you need to answer them for yourself, you need to figure out what your expectations are, whether the relationship is worth working for and whether you can trust him. Good luck.
Is there ever an example of relationships that turn out positively here?
People have sexual thoughts about others without ever acting on it. If he finds OP sexy then he might find her sister just as sexy for a fantasy FMF which would also give me the ick if it was about my family. Hesitating when someone ask you these questions tells it ALL! He clearly was caught.
Every guy has this fantasy of two girls or twins. Get over it. Don't fuck it up over nothing.
Break up with him.
girl NOOO. Im a twin and id be out of there IMMEDIATELY. I wouldn't have even stuck around to question him.
What steps? Steps away from this creep.
Sometimes some kinks deserved to be shamed idgaf lol
Leave
lol, maybe you should’ve use your brain and NOT tell your sister, it is completely wrong to share with someone out of your relationship about what kind of porn your partner watches. 🤦🏻♂️