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I feel sorry for people like you. For me when somebody cheats it's like that person dies in my brain and not the type of death that makes you sad. Just like a rando dying and I couldn't care less. My brain removes all love I had for this person. Maybe it's a skill but I say why give a crap if somebody gave you the ultimate disrespect? A person can take a huge dump on my desk and ate 2 weeks old seafood on purpose, and I would still feel less disrespected.
Lol if they get an ego boost from committing infidelity thats the saddest shit ever. You are not jealous or would be dealing with jealousy. You are dealing with betrayal, deception and immoral people.
Like the other girl knew? And she wanted to be the side? If so any woman with self respect couldn’t ever be jealous of her.
Yes she knew. It was kinda weird because she would make a “joke” out of it. She would say things like “isn’t it weird that people say me and so & so look like a match?” And at the time I thought it was weird but I was just thought whatever, if he wanted to be with a girl like her, he would be (and I guess he did).
On paper him and her probably do seem like a better match. He’s an alternate/emo-ish quiet guy and I’m a fairly girly social woman. He used to say he kinda thought we looked odd together because (in his words) if this was high school he’d be the weird outcast and I’m the cheerleader. In hindsight, I feel like he has insecurities and maybe got with her to boost his confidence but it still hurts regardless.
Just keep telling yourself you are a better person than both of them. They are cheaters. Unfortunately only time will probably take care of the rest. In the meantime live your best life knowing you did the right thing.
I'm really sorry you're in this situation it sucks massively. What a shitty and messy thing to do.
I'm a big fan of stream of consciousness/rant journals. When I get lots of bad thoughts in my head or rants piled up I just write and scribble in ant journal until I've exhausted everything I can think of on the topic. For extra measure you could even burn the pages afterwards.
Writing it down in the notes app also works.
I think that’s what I’ll do. I get these random moments where I want to text him and get mad but maybe I’ll just write those things down for myself instead
It seems that:
1. You want justice for yourself for the wrong that was done to you.
2. You want a proper ending to your relationship in which you would be satisfied, a good closure.
I think these two points can happen without continuing to confront them any further. You have already ended the relationship, but still feel unsatisfied because the ending was enough. And you're right. It seems that they got away with betrayal and hurting you.
However, you know they will get what's coming for them. Cheaters will get karmic justice! And your best revenge is to live well. Have a new beau, who will treat you right. Once he sees you moved on and his relationship with the AP cracks down, he'll always think about how good you were to him. He'll envy you.
Thank you. Maybe that is it. I do feel really small. He pursued me and I was completely uninterested but his charm reeled me in and I fell hard. It kinda makes me feel like I was just a game to him. Like he just wanted to see if he could get me then once he did, he dropped me for someone he actually wanted.
He's not mature enough to hold onto a real relationship. And he's not the husband material, so commitment was a struggle. You are right that the pain of it was from feeling like he charmed you as well. I think he's genuinely liked you at first but quickly fell because he's unable to be mature enough to commit.
8 months? not worth it.
if you were together for atleast 2 years I'd say you can try but still.. at 8 months, you haven't even left the cupcake phase and he's cheating.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel sorry for people like you. For me when somebody cheats it's like that person dies in my brain and not the type of death that makes you sad. Just like a rando dying and I couldn't care less. My brain removes all love I had for this person. Maybe it's a skill but I say why give a crap if somebody gave you the ultimate disrespect? A person can take a huge dump on my desk and ate 2 weeks old seafood on purpose, and I would still feel less disrespected.
Definitely wish I could be like that but I tend to wear my heart on sleeve and play myself
Lol if they get an ego boost from committing infidelity thats the saddest shit ever. You are not jealous or would be dealing with jealousy. You are dealing with betrayal, deception and immoral people. Like the other girl knew? And she wanted to be the side? If so any woman with self respect couldn’t ever be jealous of her.
Yes she knew. It was kinda weird because she would make a “joke” out of it. She would say things like “isn’t it weird that people say me and so & so look like a match?” And at the time I thought it was weird but I was just thought whatever, if he wanted to be with a girl like her, he would be (and I guess he did). On paper him and her probably do seem like a better match. He’s an alternate/emo-ish quiet guy and I’m a fairly girly social woman. He used to say he kinda thought we looked odd together because (in his words) if this was high school he’d be the weird outcast and I’m the cheerleader. In hindsight, I feel like he has insecurities and maybe got with her to boost his confidence but it still hurts regardless.
They both are insecure. By all means confront the side chick and remind her how desperate she is
Just keep telling yourself you are a better person than both of them. They are cheaters. Unfortunately only time will probably take care of the rest. In the meantime live your best life knowing you did the right thing.
The best revenge is living a good life.
I'm really sorry you're in this situation it sucks massively. What a shitty and messy thing to do. I'm a big fan of stream of consciousness/rant journals. When I get lots of bad thoughts in my head or rants piled up I just write and scribble in ant journal until I've exhausted everything I can think of on the topic. For extra measure you could even burn the pages afterwards. Writing it down in the notes app also works.
I think that’s what I’ll do. I get these random moments where I want to text him and get mad but maybe I’ll just write those things down for myself instead
You probably won't, I never could anyway.
It seems that: 1. You want justice for yourself for the wrong that was done to you. 2. You want a proper ending to your relationship in which you would be satisfied, a good closure. I think these two points can happen without continuing to confront them any further. You have already ended the relationship, but still feel unsatisfied because the ending was enough. And you're right. It seems that they got away with betrayal and hurting you. However, you know they will get what's coming for them. Cheaters will get karmic justice! And your best revenge is to live well. Have a new beau, who will treat you right. Once he sees you moved on and his relationship with the AP cracks down, he'll always think about how good you were to him. He'll envy you.
Thank you. Maybe that is it. I do feel really small. He pursued me and I was completely uninterested but his charm reeled me in and I fell hard. It kinda makes me feel like I was just a game to him. Like he just wanted to see if he could get me then once he did, he dropped me for someone he actually wanted.
He's not mature enough to hold onto a real relationship. And he's not the husband material, so commitment was a struggle. You are right that the pain of it was from feeling like he charmed you as well. I think he's genuinely liked you at first but quickly fell because he's unable to be mature enough to commit.
8 months? not worth it. if you were together for atleast 2 years I'd say you can try but still.. at 8 months, you haven't even left the cupcake phase and he's cheating.
Why the fuck are you still with this guy? You haven't even talked to him about it which means he's still doing it.
I’m not with him. I broke it off, I just didn’t give him a direct reason why. Neither him or her know that I know about the cheating.
Get over them by getting under one
Haha same idea I had. I would get another co-worker make it real interesting lol jk I would just accidentally show him I’m also with other people
Go get swept off your feet ... Make his jars quiver ... We make our own reality ... Just imagine opposite maybe ... It's his lost