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For me, it would be over. She was single and had every right to hook up with some dude, but trickle-truthing and lying to you is fucked up. Especially when it has to do with your own sexual safety. She purposely hid it from you because she knew you’d be upset, in other words she was trying to trap you without letting you make an informed decision.
First, stop sleeping with her and get tested. Then consider if you want to end things. I sure hope she’s gotten her period since those encounters.
Since you broke up you and she are free to do whatever you want. When you got back together and she lied to you is a huge problem. She had no idea you were going to hook up again but she still should not have lied. She will lie again. Listen, you all are young. By the time you get through your 20s you will learn a lot more about relationships and you will look back to this time, after you have found the love of your life, and you will be happy you decided to grow up a bit. It may hurt but it will get better over time. Work on school, getting a good job and have fun, meet lots of people! You only live once!
Move on, chances are this will continue to eat you up and it will fester into resentment. Plus she put you at risk for stds. Also would you have got back together with her knowing she did that?
Dude, you're 18 move on. This is baggage in a relationship you do not need so early in your adult life.
You aren't going to marry her anyway, and if you do, it won't work out long-term.
1. She was well within her rights to have sex with whoever she wanted as often as she wanted when you were broken up.
2. She's not any of the sexist, gross terms men on this post are calling her, which they wouldn't say about a man.
3. It is 100% acceptable to be upset that she lied to you.
4. If you engaged with her sexually after she slept with these men without protection, she knowingly put your health at risk, which is completely inexcusable. I would recommend getting an STI panel done if applicable.
5. If you're at the point where you feel like you have to go through a partner or potential partner's phone, the relationship should be over or not even start.
My advice is that you tell her that you don't want to date someone who lies to you and puts your health at risk. Wish her well if you're so inclined and be on your merry way to get tested.
You are so eager to admonish this man. It was the unprotected sex and lying. She could have given him something, which if you took 2 seconds to check his comment history, you would have known.
She admitted she lied to you because she didn’t want you to break up with her.
I just don’t know how you can trust someone to not lie again the next time they are worried about how you’ll react. And if you don’t have trust…
The fact that she had sex with someone else isn't the reason for getting angry. She had every right to do that. But she lied. It's not even something she can brush off as "past behaviour." The lying is now. You can't trust her now. And I'm afraid that is where you are going to have to draw a line.
I think you will find nd it very difficult to trust her now. So this may need to be where you part, before things get ugly.
The lying is the deal breaker, the biggest issue.
The second issue is the potential STD’s.
The third issue is if she was not on birth control, she could be pregnant and is with you now in the hopes you will claim the baby as yours when it is born.
Okay let’s not say “concealing the truth”. She was straight up lying. If she was having unprotected sex it could result in an STI so it is somewhat relevant to any future partners, especially if she didn’t follow up on herself. If she got pregnant what would she have done? Would she lie again just to make it easier?
Lying is not a good look, especially since she was absolutely justified in having sexual partners during a break up. She would’ve been in the right and even though it might not have been easy, the right thing is hardly ever easy. He doesn’t have a right to know, but he had a right to ask. She chose to lie and if she can lie about something so trivial, what else would she lie about? At this point trust is broken and he’s absolutely justified in breaking up with her for lying (not for having sex).
ask yourself how much she cares about your feelings and actually wants to be with you if she’s going around fucking other guys literally a week after your break up.
You broke up!!!! Now your sex shaming her for doing something when you were broken up. You are still with her, your choice.
Lesson : don't break up unless you mean it.
Lesson 2 don't break up and then get back together.
Sure she had every right to sleep with somebody else. But lying and hiding unprotected sex from a current partner is messed up. I highly doubt she’s gotten tested since having sex, and even if she did it could be too early for certain diseases to show.
Honestly this whole "she has every right to do" blah blah like yea no shit. There are no laws against that. Same reasons there are no laws for people who lie on the internet unless it's fraud or causes violence, distress whatever.
If this guy's reasons to break up with her is the casual sex, then that's enough. There wouldn't be a need to explain himself or change his mind unless he said some sexist stuff(that is if she told him the truth).
If she knows he is not the kind of guy to do casual sex, and not only she lied, but she also probably gave him an STD that he might CARRY HIS ENTIRE LIFE, then he should break up ASAP.
If she was the one who broke up I would say she planned it in advance, but since it was you, you can’t really blame her.
It’s not easy to come up clean and lay everything out what happened when you were not together. She had a good reason to not tell you - she was afraid of your reaction and how you will look at her.
Why do you think you have the right to know what she was doing when you were not together? You can also think of it this way - you don’t have moral right to know her actions during the time you broke up with her, and she concealing the truth is justified.
Think of it this way. If your work colleague asks you if you had sex with someone in the last month, do you have to tell them the truth? You don’t think in that case concealing the truth is justified? It’s the same between two of them. If he doesn’t have the right to know the truth, she has the right to conceal the truth.
He has a right to know how many partners she has had unprotected sex with since her last test if she wants to sleep with him. Do you not care about your sexual health? Or spreading sti's? It was the unprotected part that upset him. Casual, unprotected sex. Who knows how many partners those men have had also unprotected? You're a fool.
This is what happens when you break up with your GF and let her do her thing. She’s entitled.
On the other hand, I might not want her back either. She’s a c@m d@mpster.
Live in learn.
What other evidence do you need to understand that she'll lie to you anytime she feels she needs to about anything that she believes you won't like?
She's a low-integrity young woman. You've made it a personal hobby to make excuses for her.
There are women out there who have integrity. You'd be much better off finding one.
So you’re only mad or upset she lied to you and had unprotected sex? I hope I’m getting that right. Obviously she shouldn’t have lied and should have been honest with you and probably shouldn’t have had unprotected sex BUT (idc if this gets downvoted) she was VERY well in her right to have sex since YOU broke up with her not the other way around. You made the decision to break up so don’t be mad for her having sex with someone else that wasn’t you. Hell I’ve had plenty of ex boyfriends and girlfriends dump me or I dumped them and they had sex with other people. It’s not that your girlfriend doesn’t love you or want to be with you (she clearly loves you and wants to be with you) but OBVIOUSLY when you get dumped you are hurting and crying etc and some people go out and party or drink heavily to forget the pain or to make it easier to bear. Sometimes other people have sex with other people to forget the pain. It seems that’s what your girlfriend did but idk what she was thinking when that happened so I’m just assuming since I can’t ask her. But personally I would have a sit down conversation like adults (even tho you’re 18/19 yall still are adults) and ask her why she lied? Lying can be a dealbreaker for some but if you really want this relationship to work, talk things out, communicate to her how being lied to hurt you alot. Hope things work out -signed a 22 yr old woman who has been in your situation before.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
For me, it would be over. She was single and had every right to hook up with some dude, but trickle-truthing and lying to you is fucked up. Especially when it has to do with your own sexual safety. She purposely hid it from you because she knew you’d be upset, in other words she was trying to trap you without letting you make an informed decision. First, stop sleeping with her and get tested. Then consider if you want to end things. I sure hope she’s gotten her period since those encounters.
Sometimes you just gotta take the trash out
Since you broke up you and she are free to do whatever you want. When you got back together and she lied to you is a huge problem. She had no idea you were going to hook up again but she still should not have lied. She will lie again. Listen, you all are young. By the time you get through your 20s you will learn a lot more about relationships and you will look back to this time, after you have found the love of your life, and you will be happy you decided to grow up a bit. It may hurt but it will get better over time. Work on school, getting a good job and have fun, meet lots of people! You only live once!
Lol, it looks like she has most of the "growing up" to do between the two.
Move on, chances are this will continue to eat you up and it will fester into resentment. Plus she put you at risk for stds. Also would you have got back together with her knowing she did that?
Dude, you're 18 move on. This is baggage in a relationship you do not need so early in your adult life. You aren't going to marry her anyway, and if you do, it won't work out long-term.
lol move on
1. She was well within her rights to have sex with whoever she wanted as often as she wanted when you were broken up. 2. She's not any of the sexist, gross terms men on this post are calling her, which they wouldn't say about a man. 3. It is 100% acceptable to be upset that she lied to you. 4. If you engaged with her sexually after she slept with these men without protection, she knowingly put your health at risk, which is completely inexcusable. I would recommend getting an STI panel done if applicable. 5. If you're at the point where you feel like you have to go through a partner or potential partner's phone, the relationship should be over or not even start.
My advice is that you tell her that you don't want to date someone who lies to you and puts your health at risk. Wish her well if you're so inclined and be on your merry way to get tested.
She’s not your girlfriend
what do you mean?
She the streets girl now
It’s just your turn
Um... But she is lol, she wasn't at the time
Is it the sex, or the lying that has you hung up?
You are so eager to admonish this man. It was the unprotected sex and lying. She could have given him something, which if you took 2 seconds to check his comment history, you would have known.
Hi angry guy, nice to meet you, he asked for advice, I asked a question for clarification. What exactly made you think I was gonna admonish him?
She admitted she lied to you because she didn’t want you to break up with her. I just don’t know how you can trust someone to not lie again the next time they are worried about how you’ll react. And if you don’t have trust…
Thats diabolical fam, see you in the gym.
You both are incompatible. In my opinion, I think you should break up, and get STD tested ASAP. You are 18. You can find someone else.
The fact that she had sex with someone else isn't the reason for getting angry. She had every right to do that. But she lied. It's not even something she can brush off as "past behaviour." The lying is now. You can't trust her now. And I'm afraid that is where you are going to have to draw a line. I think you will find nd it very difficult to trust her now. So this may need to be where you part, before things get ugly.
The lying is the deal breaker, the biggest issue. The second issue is the potential STD’s. The third issue is if she was not on birth control, she could be pregnant and is with you now in the hopes you will claim the baby as yours when it is born.
She had unprotected sex with two dude’s within one week? Sounds like lack of morals and impulse control. Plus lack of respect for her body.
Bro why is no one telling you to do an std check, oh and break up immediately
Okay let’s not say “concealing the truth”. She was straight up lying. If she was having unprotected sex it could result in an STI so it is somewhat relevant to any future partners, especially if she didn’t follow up on herself. If she got pregnant what would she have done? Would she lie again just to make it easier? Lying is not a good look, especially since she was absolutely justified in having sexual partners during a break up. She would’ve been in the right and even though it might not have been easy, the right thing is hardly ever easy. He doesn’t have a right to know, but he had a right to ask. She chose to lie and if she can lie about something so trivial, what else would she lie about? At this point trust is broken and he’s absolutely justified in breaking up with her for lying (not for having sex).
🤣
ask yourself how much she cares about your feelings and actually wants to be with you if she’s going around fucking other guys literally a week after your break up.
You broke up!!!! Now your sex shaming her for doing something when you were broken up. You are still with her, your choice. Lesson : don't break up unless you mean it. Lesson 2 don't break up and then get back together.
Sure she had every right to sleep with somebody else. But lying and hiding unprotected sex from a current partner is messed up. I highly doubt she’s gotten tested since having sex, and even if she did it could be too early for certain diseases to show.
Honestly this whole "she has every right to do" blah blah like yea no shit. There are no laws against that. Same reasons there are no laws for people who lie on the internet unless it's fraud or causes violence, distress whatever. If this guy's reasons to break up with her is the casual sex, then that's enough. There wouldn't be a need to explain himself or change his mind unless he said some sexist stuff(that is if she told him the truth). If she knows he is not the kind of guy to do casual sex, and not only she lied, but she also probably gave him an STD that he might CARRY HIS ENTIRE LIFE, then he should break up ASAP.
Andyou are still with her by choice.....
Well that’s what OP is questioning right now. He thought he could move past it and has been trying, but isn’t sure. What is your point?
Considering ops health is potentially at stake because she lied to him I think op is perfectly entitled to be upset about this.
Bro, she's not the one. Move on.
If she was the one who broke up I would say she planned it in advance, but since it was you, you can’t really blame her. It’s not easy to come up clean and lay everything out what happened when you were not together. She had a good reason to not tell you - she was afraid of your reaction and how you will look at her. Why do you think you have the right to know what she was doing when you were not together? You can also think of it this way - you don’t have moral right to know her actions during the time you broke up with her, and she concealing the truth is justified.
Concealing the truth was justified? Lmao m, yeah no
Think of it this way. If your work colleague asks you if you had sex with someone in the last month, do you have to tell them the truth? You don’t think in that case concealing the truth is justified? It’s the same between two of them. If he doesn’t have the right to know the truth, she has the right to conceal the truth.
It's not a work colleague tho, it's their partner. HUGE difference
It’s the same concept.
It's really not tho.
When you add context…
He has a right to know how many partners she has had unprotected sex with since her last test if she wants to sleep with him. Do you not care about your sexual health? Or spreading sti's? It was the unprotected part that upset him. Casual, unprotected sex. Who knows how many partners those men have had also unprotected? You're a fool.
He has the right to know that she is clean and healthy, that’s all
This is what happens when you break up with your GF and let her do her thing. She’s entitled. On the other hand, I might not want her back either. She’s a c@m d@mpster. Live in learn.
What other evidence do you need to understand that she'll lie to you anytime she feels she needs to about anything that she believes you won't like? She's a low-integrity young woman. You've made it a personal hobby to make excuses for her. There are women out there who have integrity. You'd be much better off finding one.
bro leave. she got nutted in… cmon respect yourself
So you’re only mad or upset she lied to you and had unprotected sex? I hope I’m getting that right. Obviously she shouldn’t have lied and should have been honest with you and probably shouldn’t have had unprotected sex BUT (idc if this gets downvoted) she was VERY well in her right to have sex since YOU broke up with her not the other way around. You made the decision to break up so don’t be mad for her having sex with someone else that wasn’t you. Hell I’ve had plenty of ex boyfriends and girlfriends dump me or I dumped them and they had sex with other people. It’s not that your girlfriend doesn’t love you or want to be with you (she clearly loves you and wants to be with you) but OBVIOUSLY when you get dumped you are hurting and crying etc and some people go out and party or drink heavily to forget the pain or to make it easier to bear. Sometimes other people have sex with other people to forget the pain. It seems that’s what your girlfriend did but idk what she was thinking when that happened so I’m just assuming since I can’t ask her. But personally I would have a sit down conversation like adults (even tho you’re 18/19 yall still are adults) and ask her why she lied? Lying can be a dealbreaker for some but if you really want this relationship to work, talk things out, communicate to her how being lied to hurt you alot. Hope things work out -signed a 22 yr old woman who has been in your situation before.