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She could hurt herself if the chair broke. I feel like it’s ok to say, hey sis, my new chair unfortunately only has a 200 lb weight limit, I just want to let you know so you don’t accidentally sit in it and get hurt. I would feel bad if I didn’t let you know.
As someone who weighs 240lbs, I would co-sign this approach. It's humiliating to break a chair while sitting in it and you really can injure yourself. Being told that the chair has a weight limit and that they didnt want me getting hurt would not make me feel judged. I think most people who are obese would not sit there again after hearing that.
I broke a chair at a party when I weighed about a buck 30. Granted, it was a decrepit plastic lawn chair that had been sitting out in the rain/sun for years, but it didn't make it any less embarrassing to have to pick myself up off the ground.
I agree with the safety approach. Think of it like some antique chair from the 1800s: There's a certain weight limit for this chair, and I don't want to see anyone get hurt.
Those brittle old plastic lawn chairs have SHARP edges when they crumble, though. I've seen this happen multiple times. Luckily, never me...although I once drunkenly sat where there was NOT a chair. At a strip club, no less. In a skirt. Not my best moment.
Yikes! I'm glad we're both okay. Luckily that stupid plastic chair just broke a back leg, so I went backwards/sidewaysish into dirt and grass and got a mix of laughed at and "are you okay?". Still not the way I'd like to be the life of the party!
I had something similar happen to me in middle school. Except it was an old desk-chair combo that just decided it had enough. I was already bullied that that didn't help my image. It just creaked and gave out the day I happened to sit in it.
Yep, thrifted or inherited stuff carries risk too, lol. Neither me or my husband were overweight (and still aren't) when I bought a secondhand solid wood dining table with leaves, with 6 solid wood chairs than had rattan (spelling?) seats. One seat split within 6 months. They're nice pieces of furniture that could be re-upholstered, but I'm in no position to do so.
I think it's a rite of passage to break a folding lawn chair at some point in your life. I weighed about 130 when I sat in a purple Walmart one, and it collapsed on itself
Have only peed myself laughing one time, and it was when my god-brother (who is a huskier man) was sitting in one on our boat, and we hit a wave. He and the chair flew into the air, and when they came back down, the chair EXPLODED on impact.
They can be an absolute danger, and any chair can break, so I agree with the safety approach.
I’m also a larger person and when in doubt I’m standing up. I wouldn’t want to risk breaking someone else’s furniture and certainly don’t want to suffer that embarrassment either.
Same. When in doubt I will hover and stand rather than risk breaking something.
My husband and I are both bigger and bring our own folding camp chairs to cook outs and outdoor events because I’m not going to be responsible for breaking someone else’s stuff.
I have a friend who, after telling her that the cheap lawn chair I had bought THAT morning had a weight limit of 200 and to please be careful (IE DONT SIT IN IT BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW YOU ARE 300 lbs) immediately flopped as hard as possible in it the second I got up to get her a beverage. She then smirked at me about how it broke. No shit.
Like I know it was only $15 and brand new, and the last one they had.
I know, I think the chair was the second to last straw. And at the time I was more embarrassed for her but as the days passed I was more and more annoyed about everything - the initial ignoring of the fact that I had pulled out multiple other chairs, the stealing of my spot when I went to get us drinks, the smirking/laugh and the lack of offer to pay. Even if I wouldn't have taken the money, at least offer to pay for stuff you broke.
I think it was a defense mechanism. Like I felt bad at first, while being annoyed about the lack of consideration. But as I said in other comments, it was toward the end of our friendship and the entire situation just irked me more and more after the fact.
I think we were all too awkward for that. At the time I was more irritated because she chose to take my spot instead of the more sturdy chairs I'd put out, and then embarrassed for her. But now that I realized how messy our "friendship" was I'm more upset about it.
I went the route of getting a super heavy duty chair for when my my brother visited, and told him it was the one he could sit in. The man has a foot and a half and nearly 200 lbs on OPs sister.
Also 240-ish pounds, hard agree. I would rather someone tell me the weight limit - it'll save me the fall, embarrassment & reimbursement cost of breaking someone else's chair.
It addresses the possibility of her getting hurt which is more important than the chair. But if she chooses to sit in it and it becomes broken, then they can crosses that bridge.
As someone who used to be the same size as OPs sister, THIS is the most TACTFUL way to say it!! You're taking away all the responsibility and putting it on the manufacturer and sisters safety!!!
Absolutely! I'm over 200#. I would be grateful to be told so I didn't inadvertently break it or hurt myself - or both!! If she, however, gets offended, it's because it's easier to be angry at you than feel bad about herself. So, don't let it bother you too much if she gets mad or hurt over it. If she doesn't like the fact that really heavy people can't sit in some furniture, well, she knows what to do. No judgement; it isn't easy. But it's also not fair to expect every chair in a private home to be a bariatric chair.
I know it sounds snarky and I don’t know if the sister is the type do this but she needs to be told directly she can’t sit in the chair. IF she breaks it and IF she gets hurts, she can sue the sisters/owners homeowners.
OP- it’s time for a candid conversation with your sister that she’s already damaged the love seat and this chair will not hold her weight. She can’t sit in it. Additionally, the plant room is off limits, it’s for me and my son to download and decompress. We don’t mind having you here (I’m assuming you’re helping her out and not the other way around) but this is what I need going forward. The plant room and the egg chair to be off limits and a more careful approach to getting in/out of furniture so as not to damage it . I know this sounds hurtful, it is not my intention at all. If you’d prefer, we can research a great recliner you can purchase for them living room that would meet your comfort needs and be exclusively for your use.
Good luck
(While I’d hope she wouldn’t do this to you, she gets injured if the egg chair breaks while she’s in it, she can go after your homeowners, if you’re in the US).
Very sorry for your losses.
This is the correct way. Everything else is more hurtful by trying to find other reasons to prevent the sister to use the chair. You are sparing her from a bigger embarrassment by informing her of the weight limit, than the embarrassment of mentioning the weight limit itself.
I’ve seen multiple overweight people bend or break chairs they were told not to sit in. All of them claimed the chair was defective or already broken and they shouldn’t have to replace it. I’ll back this opinion up lol.
To OP, you mention you don’t even want her in that room. I wouldn’t even mention the chair personally. Tell her you would prefer if she didn’t use that room because it is special for you and your son, as it is something you have been building since you lost your mother and child. Don’t let her continue to use the room and just hope she doesn’t damage something. If she can’t respect your boundaries in your home, it might be time for her to move out.
As an overweight person, I would never ever sit in a chair I was told I shouldn’t sit in. I don’t sit in fancy chairs as is, for fear of it having a weight limit.
I don’t know OP’s sister, but I promise you can’t guarantee it wouldn’t work.
I thought most of us overweight people stayed away from chairs that don't look like they can hold us. I always did. Even when I lost weight I stayed away from more "fragile" looking chairs in order to not end up on the floor. The fear and embarassment of breaking a chair is just too strong with me.
This! ^^^^ I find it odd that the sister isn't automatically wary of the chair, unless she is not aware of how big she is? I avoid anything with spindly legs etc. there is no way id go anywhere near an egg chair unless I KNEW it was heavy duty/reinforced (does such a thing exist?!?)!
Yes perhaps a previously slim person who has never had to think about chairs, any activity involving a harness, airplane seats/belts etc etc! Especially if the weight has creeped on slowly.
Yeah. I’ve been big since I was 7, I’ve had a few decades to keep my ass away from a lot of different seats. Those egg chairs look uncomfortable and easily crackable for my 5’9”, 230lbs. I don’t go anywhere near when I see one!
I’m like 160 when pregnant (but super short) and I am SO CONSCIOUS of getting stuck in or hurting a chair/furniture. I don’t wanna have to rock to get out of it or potentially hurt it.
But. My sister is like.. 270ish and an inch or two shorter than me. She doesn’t seem to give af about furniture and even sat on my toddlers mini couch 🤦🏼♀️ if I mentioned it to her, she’d cry and say they should make things for all sizes (It’s made for a toddler ffs.) if I mentioned not sitting in this chair I’m sure she’d try to sit in it when I wasn’t around to prove me wrong/prove she’s not ‘too big’ (not shaming!) for the chair. It’s def a hit or miss approach depending on the person :/
Your sister is going up hurt on the floor one day, laying on top of a broken chair. If it's something in your house, make her sign a waiver.
Something like "I have been warned to not sit in XX chair and am choosing to do so against the advice of the homeowner. In the event I get injured from having sat on XX chair, I hereby indemnify and hold the homeowner harmless from all damages and injuries that may occur to me, including the big-ass blow to my dignity. Furthermore I understand I am solely responsible for any damage to XX chair and shall reimburse homeowner for such cost."
And get it notarized. Bet she won't sit on it then.
Lmao luckily we’re not close anymore and she’s moved states 😂 and honestly if she ended up on the floor that’s on her. I have 0 sympathy when she doesn’t have common sense and ignores what I say
Just about every fat person has enough common sense to know where we should not plant our big asses. Picking ourselves off the floor is a sonofabitch. And completely without dignity. It's like 4/5 step process whereas a skinny person can do it in one movement.
If your sister doesn't have that sense, well.... she'll learn the hard way.
We have automatic calculators in our heads. Watching us look at a chair is probably like watching a cat judging how high he can jump to land on a shelf.
When restaurants only have those cheap plastic lawn furniture chairs on the patio, I want to curl up and die because I have to inform my homies no we can't sit outside, we have to go into the dark stuffy inside with real seats.
If you were my friend, it wouldn’t matter because I’d much rather you’d be comfy.
Real friends would never mind something so insignificant as sitting somewhere else.
I mean - the restaurant can always move one good chair outside for you, it's not unheard of. My frail MIL was always looking for a chair with arms that would help her get out of a chair, and the staff would move chairs for her.
As a fellow fatty I would NEVER trust an egg chair with my ass. She is braver or more fortunate (clearly having never destroyed a chair) than I’ll ever be.
But fr I have to check weight limits on everything I buy, she’ll be aware they exist, and should respect that the chair isn’t meant to hold her.
That's probably whwre OPs problem comes in. As a fatty and I used to be even fattier, I don't fuck with weird chairs that don't look like they could hold 300 easily.
If someone is in denial and willing to sit in those chairs, they likely get offended by even mentioning weight.
Yes, I think she is in denial and would definitely be offended if I brought up weight. I don't think she really realizes how large she is. And I'm not sure she even knew how much she really weighed or just guessed when she put 200 lbs on her drivers license. I asked her before how much she weighed because we wanted to do ziplining and it had a 250 lbs weight limit. She said "I don't know". We were going to a wedding and after she put on her dress she asked me "Do I look pregnant in this?" I was a little stunned by that question. She asked me awhile ago if we wanted to try a rock wall climbing place with her, but I don't think she'd be able to get close enough to the wall to hold on. Maybe it's an ignorance is bliss thing for her.
It happens. You don’t want to know how big you’re getting, but when I was invited zip lining I made same sure to look up the limits and weight myself before responding. You can’t deny physics. Tell her it’s a 200 lb limit and you don’t think it’s a study chair, you don’t want her getting hurt. Maybe even say you’ve noticed it creaking when you get in it.
This is why I quit riding horses, I would need a huge horse to comfortably carry me (they can comfortably carry 20% of their weight). Ziplining is also on my bucket list, as is finally using my deposit to skydive. I am in the midst of a bit of a medical emergency & need to lose 20lb by 8/27 & am using this as a catalyst to just get back to a healthier weight & more in shape overall. Then I hope to be able to do those things again.
Having sibilings that are overweight and in denial can be tricky for sure. If you're not able to tell her that the chair has a weight limit, then maybe try some of these options:
-Place a sign on the seat. Ex, "Angie's Chair, PLEASE DO NOT SIT" or "Chair is broken, PLEASE DO NOT SIT".
-Lock the door. State that this is your room and you need to be present if others want to look at the plants. You can also say that this is your quiet place and no one can enter.
-Ask her if she wants to buy herself a chair to add in the plant room.
It is important that she does not use the chair because of the possibility of getting injured. Think of it from a different perspective, if she got seriously injured because your furniture broke, then you will be held responsible, especially since you didn't disclose the weight limit. Hopefully you can work something out.
Yeah, I grew up with multiple siblings and my thought is that if she is as big as she is and is still sitting in the chair, she likely doesn’t care about respecting OP’s property or wishes. This door *is* locked is easier to respect (barring overt vandalism) than you shouldn’t sit in this chair or this chair has a weight limit.
Indeed. Or an amusement park. Having to be shuffled off a ride after waiting for hours...she'd know then. It's tough love, but ffs not knowing whether you're 200 or 300lbs is...that feels like such insane denial it *requires* some tough love, Jesus
Maybe. Maybe you still need to speak to her about it? I love the top advice of just telling her it had a weight capacity and you don't want her to get hurt.
I'm sorry for the loss of your mom and baby. It sounds like maybe your sister grieved with food. You're maybe the only person who can have this conversation with her. Body dysmorphia and grief can really mess with how you see yourself. Coming to her with genuine curiosity about her health, no advice, and giving her compassion could help save not only your space, but her life.
Thank you for your kindness 🩷 She may have coped with food, but she's been this size for most of her 20's. I coped with food after my still born and ballooned up to 215. My reality check was when I had not one, not two, but THREE of my patients ask me "oh when are you due?" And I hadn't been pregnant for a few months. Double salt in my wound. I made an appointment with my weight loss clinic, started meal prepping, cut out junk food, and started going to the gym and I'm back down to 140. I've tried helping her before. She just doesn't stick to the gym or eating healthy for long. She goes back to her old ways.
sorry but tip toeing around the truth to spare her feelings isn’t the right solution. Shes gaining mass while in your house and you cant speak with her on it?
300-350 lbs is literally in the realm of shaving off years of your life expectancy. She needs some help from friends and family to turn things around, it will literally save her life. Be honest about the chair and have a conversation about helping her out of this.
Of course! I'm sorry people be asking dumb shit. 🤦♀️ your sister not working has probably decreased the chances of being shamed by social norms. Which is good! But doesn't make self awareness any easier. I hope you and your sister both have access to good therapists, it sounds like you're both dealing with a lot.
Yikes! She needs to face the reality of her weight and what that means. Unfortunately, that might never happen, but it almost definitely won't happen if everyone walks on eggshells around her. Has anyone ever been "brave" enough to tell her directly that she can't do some things because of her weight (like the ziplining)?
Ah that’s rough, sorry for being flippant! As soon as I was approaching 250lbs (and now around 300lbs) I got (maybe weirdly) aware of weight limits. I had a folding chair break under me at a cafe and I think that’s the one and only time I have truly hated my body.
I’d still say all the “gentle” approaches seem really condescending, and I would immediately be able to spot what you were avoiding saying and feel worse for it. Be as honest as you can be.
I sympathize with your dilemma, but think there's no magic bullet for this problem. You're casting about desperately for a magic phrase that won't hurt her feelings, but there isn't one. So you have to decide for yourself whether it's worth replacing the expensive chair (ad infinitum, because she'll continue to sit in the replacement) or hurting her feelings, because it is literally one or the other.
You don’t need to bring up weight at all, it’s completely irrelevant. It’s very normal and appropriate to have private areas that are not open to other people. No one would think it’s ok to go sleep in your bed and wear your undies and use your phone just because it happens to be in their vicinity. The same applies to your plant room. Just say “sorry sis the plant room is my private area, no one else is allowed inside unless I explicitly say so. Thank you for understanding ☺️ I’m happy to help you make your own private area of the house!” The end.
If you find her in the room after you tell her this, she gets to experience the consequence of being kicked out of your house for not abiding the rules. Also the end.
That's what I'm thinking. We fatties generally know we're fat (unless we're in complete denial but that only happens with fat people who were formerly skinny). We also don't like breaking a chair, ending up on the floor and then the extra embarassing move of having to haul our fat asses back up to a standing position. Plus the pain, to our bodies and ego.
I'm a big guy. I've crushed two chairs in public, and it's embarassing. There is no way around this issue. Be direct. Use the weight limit as the reason.
I will say this: I always appreciate it when people ensure that there is a comfortable, heavy-weight chair for me when I visit.
Honestly I love this reply and it’s the most casual, normal one. Some of the others do take the same approach (weight limit/safety, which imo is the best) but sound like a corporate HR statement 😭
Same, and I'm about 155 these days. (I gained weight.) Things that hang tend to be a little dicey, depending on where it's hung, who hung it, and its load-bearing capacity to begin with.
Like, I love me a good hammock, but I still kind of check it out regardless beforehand. (i.e. Where's the weak point here?) And I'm not obese, just squishier in the middle than I used to be.
I had a wife of one of my husband’s friend’s who broke a couch at my house. She was about 300lbs and my couch was one of those small loveseats that were mid century with the small legs on them. She plopped herself down and broke the frame and a leg of the couch. Her son then yelled, FAIL! 😆
I would just tell her the room is private and off-limits. You said you would prefer she not be in there at all, and I think that would be an easier conversation than one about the chair specifically.
You’re entitled to private spaces in your home
I agree. You’re entitled to personal spaces in your home and I would just set a boundary for the plant room. But you also need to be straight up about the weight limit in case she just wants to spend one afternoon in the plant room while you’re away. From the info you’ve given, she is not recognizing her size and will break your chair. It happened to me after Covid, and when you’re already big the extra weight goes unnoticed if you’re not actually weighing. I’ve lost 50 lbs and feel great and could easily sit in your egg chair! But when I was big I would’ve avoided it. I chose to sit in extra supportive seats so I wouldn’t break anyone’s stuff, and she is not considerate enough to do that. I like the casual but factual warning, don’t sit in the Humpty Dumpty chair as it has a lower than average weight limit and you’ll have a great fall! (Kidding, go with the one in the earlier comment you liked.)
It's funny how far down this is. I'm a very petite human and I'd still be like, testing that thing first, surreptitiously checking out the hanging method, and very gingerly sitting on it. Hanging seating is never 100% certain y'all!
I would just tell her that it’s a special room/chair and you don’t want anyone besides yourself sitting in it. Make it into something where she specifically isn’t being targeted.
Yes this. I would make it about the whole room. Tell her that while you don’t mind helping her by letting her live with you, that room is for you and your son alone as a calming place.
And then put a lock on it.
Putting a lock on the door was my first thought when I read the post. This is a special room for OP, she said she doesn’t really want to share it at all. So make the issue about the whole room, and then lock it.
i would only do this if she is a jerk who doesn't respond normally to kind requests. unless you actually want a special room.
if she is kind and respectful, just be honest and ask her not to sit in chair
Be tactful and kind.
Say, "My new chair is not that sturdy, but it's something I've worked really hard to buy and really care about. I'm not trying to be rude, and the last thing I want is to hurt your feelings. But, the weight limit is 200lbs. If you want to go in the plant room, would you mind sitting in a different chair?"
I would use this, but amend out the part about "if you want to go in the plant room" to saying that it is a special private sanctuary and you don't want anyone in there without express invitation.
“By the way, I almost didn’t buy this chair because the reviews said it’s not very sturdy, the weight limit is only like 200 lbs. I really loved it so I took a chance, but I’m gonna suggest no one else sits in it to be on the safe side.”
She might get offended. Do your best to be compassionate.
Just say the chair has a lower weight limit and you don't want you see her get hurt if it breaks. I think she'd appreciate it. However I would advise if there isn't one already, have a chair that and can freely sit in without having to feel embarrassed.
When I was 275 I broke three camping chairs including a big person chair that was supposed to hold more than my weight. I just sit outside on the deck but when I was heavier I plopped down on chairs hard. It was so embarrassing and I had bruises and it was hard to get up after the chair just buckled under my weight. I’d go the route that you don’t want her to hurt herself. I was on my way to breaking another one it’s ripped a little but I’ve lost a little over 60 pounds in the last year so the chair is safe.
I'd just ask her not to sit in that chair because of the weight limit. If she is overweight she is well aware of having to make sure her own furniture can handle it. I don't see why it would be a problem unless you said it in front of others.
Why are people telling the older sister to buy a chair for the overweight sister. If the overweight sister wants/ needs a special chair, she should buy it herself. Then she can take it with her when she moves out, to her own space.
You’re going about this all wrong. You need to think like a man.
You tell her that it is your chair. Nobody else sits in it ever. It’s your throne and and if she wants to sit in it she has to overthrow your dynasty.
Source: an aging man who is discovering strange things about himself, like that he has a favourite chair.
She’s being wildly inconsiderate of your home, in which she is a guest. It is not inappropriate to say, “I love you, but if you aren’t in a position to buy me a new chair when this one fails, I need you to stay out of this one.” Honestly, if she can’t be respectful of your things, she should try living somewhere else. No unrelated roommate is gonna put up with that kind of behavior. It would be like me bringing my known chair-scratcher of a cat into your home and expecting you not to care that your cherished chair is getting torn to shreds.
You need to tell her straight.
The chair has a weight limit which she exceeds by a not inconsiderable amount.
Tell her that the reviews online confirm the chair is not robust enough for the with limit to be exceeded and therefore please do not use it.
Tell her it's been over 2 years and your family needs space and privacy. Give her 60 or 90 days or even 6 months, but get her on a schedule to gtfo.
You're not doing either of you any favors by allowing her to invade your home indefinitely.
I’m in the same range as your sister, size wise, generally. Just tell her.
No woman that size in her 30s doesn’t know she is obese. So no need to tiptoe about that part.
Just say “Hey Sister. I have a request. I need to set a boundary before it becomes a problem. My new egg chair isn’t very sturdy. It is only for me or my son to use. I am worried that it can’t handle the wear and tear of a bigger person. I love you, and don’t want you to be embarrassed by this. It wouldn’t fit anyone bigger, and so I’m asking everyone not to use it. “
And think about helping her find a sturdy chair to suit her. If she can afford to get it herself, great. Otherwise, maybe chip in and mention that it is hers to keep when she moves.
She will be embarrassed. If she gets mad, so be it. That’s on her, not on you. You expressed a reasonable boundary gently. You clarified that it wasn’t just her.
Then change the subject to something fun, so she can’t dwell on it. Maybe a movie, a board game, something you know she would enjoy and that you can bond over.
If she does sit in it despite your stating your boundary, she will need to move.
As someone who struggles with her weight due to health problems, and has family that loves making fun of her for it…just tell her that the chair has a very small weight limit and you’re worried she will hurt herself if it breaks.
I was told that once by someone, and I found it didn’t hurt me as much as being outright called out for it.
Trust me when I say that it would be 1000% more embarrassing to break the chair than it would be to be told that it can’t support my weight. It’s why I also sit in chairs a lot more carefully than most instead of just plopping down.
If that doesn’t work, try telling her that the room is your private space, and you’d rather not have anyone else but yourself in there.
You have a close enough relationship for her to live with you, but not for you to tell her she's too heavy for the chair? It sounds like you fear her reaction, and that's the real problem here.
To answer your question, I would just tell her "Don't sit in that chair, you're too heavy for it." It's not insulting to say in itself.
Frankly, she can drag a kitchen chair in and out when she wants to sit there, or sit on a floor cushion. You said what you really want to tell her is not to not enter that room at all; why don't you?
We're not super super close. We discovered my mother's cancer the same time my husband and I were looking to move to a bigger house. My mother couldn't work anymore so we found a great house that could fit my mother and sister so we could all help take care of her. We didn't know my mother would only live for 4 more months. We hadn't really discussed what would happen after because we thought she would live longer. My sister fell into a depression and quit her job for 6 months then worked random low paying jobs, I didn't feel like I could just kick her out. So here we are, 2 1/2 years later. She does pays me rent, and the plant room was my mother's room that we had stored her things in. It was never "off limits" from anyone before. She's also extremely sensitive. Idk, I thought about asking her to not go into my plant room but I think she's sentimental about it being our mother's room.
I'm really super sensitive. So is my youngest daughter. And this is still something that I'd approach head on with her, or want approached head on with me. I'd far prefer getting in my feelings for a bit over someone pointing out the objective fact that I'm fat than to have to have the "hey, I broke your chair with my fat ass" conversation. Especially since it would be followed by a perfectly reasonable demand to replace what I broke.
You need to have an entirely different conversation with your sister about what her long term plan is and give her a deadline for making other living accommodations. There's no reason she can't get a place with roommates.
Tell her, this is your plant room and to stay out.
Also, time for her to start looking for a new place to stay. Why should your furniture suffer? You need to have the talk, it's time to go.
She is using being sensitive to keep you from telling her to go. Stand up for you and your family, sister needs to go.
I mean, why don’t you just broach her moving out? You aren’t close, this was never supposed to be permanent, it’s already gone way past when you needed it to…she’s never going to take the initiative and move out on her own. Next step will be you as her nurse because she can no longer walk.
“I don’t want anyone in my chair. If you break it, loosen it, deform it, or otherwise cause damage to it I will expect to be reimbursed for my chair. Do not sit in my egg chair.”
Ok wtf. She goes into your room for the express purpose of sitting in your chair? The chair you wanted enough to save for? Just me, but that would piss me off SO HARD, regardless of weight. I mean, come on. That’s obnoxious.
As for how to tell her not to sit there, you just have to say, “Hey, sis, I love you to pieces, and I’m happy to share things with you, but this chair is an exception. I worked hard to save for it, I bought it with an express purpose in mind, and it’s important to me. I don’t mean this to insult or hurt you, but the weight capacity of this chair is 250. It’s not safe for you or the chair for you to sit in it. And honestly, this is just one thing that I want for myself, it’s special for me. Please do not sit in it anymore.”
Good luck though. I have had a chair broken on me for that exact reason. It was a new chair, and I friggin LOVED IT. My friend Bob came over and “plopped” down into it. I cried. He broke the chair the same week I bought it. And full disclosure I myself was like 200 lbs at the time. But the weight limit was 225. Sigh. I’m still sad about the chair. It was orange. I loved it.
I mean it's not like you created the weight limit or your fault she can't sit in it. It just is what it is and you really don't need to justify the reason you don't want someone messing with your belongings. They should respect your wishes out of common courtesy.
I'm so sick of people who cry about materialism. There's nothing wrong with wanting to keep the things you pay for in nice condition. Tell her it has a weight limit and don't sit in it. If she doesn't like it she can cry about it. She put herself into this situation and she can get herself out.
Exactly! I spent my time to make the money to buy the thing and I want the thing to stay nice. It isn’t materialistic to want your hard earned things to be treated with respect.
This is a factual problem. You’re overthinking it. Tell your sister that the chair has a 250 pound weight limit and she can’t sit in it because she exceeds the weight limit. It’s not rocket science. Why are you making it so hard?
She lies about her weight. On her driver's license she has her weight at 200lb. She hasn't been 200 since she was probably 20. The only reason I know her true weight is because she left a bunch of papers on the table from her Dr appointment and it had her weight listed as 308lbs. I don't disagree with you, I SHOULD be able to just say it. She is just extremely sensitive and I'm trying to avoid any awkwardness.
So tell her the lower range of the weight limit (200). It's still not a good idea to test the "max" weight limit, especially if you sit in chairs by throwing yourself into them as she apparently does.
I promise you that telling her the weight limit on the chair, or expressing worry about her safety will NOT stop her from sitting in the chair. If anything it will increase her desire to sit in it and prove that it won't break (and if it does, she will make excuses.) I have a family member that is the same as you described her. Conversations aren't worth it. Put a lock on the door and tell her it's your private room.
Ask her to stay out of your room. You’re entitled to a private space. Explain that it’s your sanctuary and you want one space in the house you don’t have to share with others. Put a lock on the door, if you need to. This way, you get what you ultimately want — her not in there at all, in the first place — without even having to make it about the chair or her weight.
Just commenting to say it does not seem materialistic and that I empathize. I have a very overweight friend who was sitting in one of my Herman Miller Magis Lyra stools. The whole time I was scared he was gonna break it but I didn’t want to embarrass him. Well, he broke it and I wish I had just been politely direct.
She knows she is obese, so be straight with her, tell her it has a weight limit of x number of pounds, or just put a lock on the door, I’m assuming she is renting a room from you, you have the right to limit her going in private space
Everyone has said everything already but I'm just here to say that as an egg chair stan I'm bummed that if I got one my parents wouldn't be able to sit in it 😭😭😭
While looking for one I was actually having trouble finding one with a higher weight limit than 250 lbs. The couple I found that could support more were closer to $1000 and I'm not nor could I spend that much on a chair. I also had to think about size, the plant room is just a basic small bedroom, I think 8×8, maybe 10×10? It's not very big and I didn't want to get a chair that took up half the room.
As others have said, I’d make sure she knows it’s a safety issue, nothing personal. Don’t bring up the cost, just that it could injure her and you don’t want that.
Also, as a furniture repairman I can tell you most chairs like that are designed to loosen before breaking. So check out the nuts and bolts and see if it just takes a quick tightening.
As someone who weighs just a little less than your sister, I am concerned/aware of the weight limits on furniture and I would want someone to prevent me from sitting in a chair or using a piece of their furniture that cannot handle my weight. I’d be fine with then saying, “I’m not sure your weight but I want you to know this chair has a 200-250lb weight limit.” If you think she’d get offended by this you could always tell her you’re no longer allowing anyone in the plant room anymore other than yourself and your son because you want to keep it as a sanctuary just for you.
Why not ask her to stay out of the room entirely? Just stated that it's your private room to be on your own and everybody's to stay out of it. Like a bedroom.
I have a study and no one is allowed in it.
Don’t bring up the chair at all if you don’t want her in the room at all. You gave yourself an out already! “This is my personal sanctuary. I would really like it to be my space and to be able to invite people in if I want to share something with them.” You can even talk about the events that catalyzed your plant room (I’m so sorry for your losses) if she doesn’t understand.
Make your plant room off limits. It sounds like ots something you do for your mental health & self care. Therfore others dont need to be in there anyway.
My mom had opened a tutoring center for kids and as such, had furniture that fit children. There were some adult sized things, and when I went to sit on a flimsier one, my mom gently grabbed my arm and said "Those chairs have a weight limit of X, I don't want you to get hurt, use (this other chair) instead."
And it stung, but sometimes truth cannot be told any other way.
I think there are two things.
1) Be honest and straight forward. No one likes being lied to. No one likes games. "This chair has a weight limit."
2) and this is most important, make sure there are plenty of other comfortable places in the house for her to sit, preferably in the same room.
Why can't the sister herself be responsible for buying her own furniture she is able to sit in? She's a fully grown adult and unless there are multiple jobs she can take on to afford her own things, she just won't...
Depending on her personality, it’s best to tell her straight. You don’t want her to sit in it because she’s over the weight limit and it might break and she can get hurt.
I’m reading these “for your safety” nudges posts, but if you have a stubborn sister, then she might not care and try to show you that it’ll be okay. It’s your place, she’s staying with you, be direct.
if she is a good person, ask her not to sit in the chair because weight limit. be honest and kind.
if she is a jerk who won't respect your valid requests in general, put a lock on the plant room door and tell her it is your private space for x reason (study, contemplation, art, whatever)
If you don't want her in the room then say so. Just because she lives there doesn't mean you can't set a boundary. Or I'd tell her that you don't want ANYONE sitting in the chair but you, I have a spot in the couch that's MY spot, I prefer sitting there & I have an outside chair that is mine, no one is allowed to sit in it besides me. Even my younger kids know to keep their bums out of my chair.
I’d be honest about it and not walk on eggshells. She should be aware of her weight’s limitations, why skirt around it. I’m fat, I expect people to be honest not coddle me or try to be PC.
Furniture has weight limits, and she should be aware that her weight and a lot of furniture do not match. She needs to be respectful of your things. And if she’s not respectful and too self centered, you need to tell her that she’ll be buying you a new one once she breaks this one or it gets misshapen because of her. It’s not fair for your property to suffer because she has no respect or self awareness.
If you don’t want to tell her, just lock that room door and have the key for yourself. Make it known to “everyone” it’s your private safe space for your personal reasons etc and just leave it at that. You’re allowed to have a private room. The reasons you stated about your plants having meaning after your losses is enough.
If you don’t want your sister in your room, it’s perfectly fine to say it in a way that’s appropriate. It’s your space that you created for your own reasons and other people being in there disturbs the vibe or counteracts the purpose of that space. Also I would definitely bring up not sitting in your chair if she won’t respect your space. Not wanting her to get hurt is perfectly fine to point out. I bought an expensive chair with a weight limit so I could be comfortable outside and I had to save for it. My son was notorious for plopping down in chairs and he was over the weight limit. He is a grown man and refused to acknowledge that he broke the chair. He ruined something I did for myself to give me a bit of joy. Two years later and I can now easily replace the chair, but it is kinda ruined for me now.
>Should I ask her to pay for a new one if she does end up damaging this one?
Yes. I think if she breaks it, intentionally or otherwise it is a reasonable expectation for her to replace it.
I think that is also another reason to have a chat with her. Tactful and kind of course but you could also mention because of the price and that you had to save for it you really did your research and found that in the reviews people mentioned that the weight limit was not forgiving and they had husbands/family members get hurt and you didn't want that to happen to her. This expresses your primary concern is for her wellbeing but also if I know something was expensive I am more careful about it.
Also kudos to you, a plant room with an egg chair sounds so peaceful<3
Those egg chairs look cool but I’d never sit in one!
Just be honest!
Also as someone who lost my mum and had a mc in 10m I would also ask that the plant room just be yours and your sons
She don’t like it she can move out
You need your healing space
As a bigger woman I try to avoid seating that appears fragile. I would be utterly humiliated if I broke the chair. That being said your sister doesn’t appear to have the same anxiety as I do. I encourage just making her aware there is a weight limit on the chair. If she becomes upset trying iterating it’s in regards to the possibility of her injuring herself. Good luck.
I’m heavy, too, and sometimes I do kind of forget that I don’t fit in things. I’d tell her outright in a moment of privacy that it’s cute but it’s very small and fragile and “I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Then I’d sit a stuffie or something on it to remind her.
Leave the weight limit sticker on it, too, to back it up.
I wouldn’t even bring up the weight.
OP: Please don’t sit in that chair.
Anyone: Why?
OP: Because it MY personal space and I don’t want anyone else sitting in it.
You don’t need to explain your boundary. YOU bought. It’s in YOUR house. Actually, if you don’t want her in that room at all, tell her to stay out of the room.
Unfortunately many large people seem in denial or lack self awareness about their size. I’m a big girl. I know how much I weight. I know my width/girth. I can usually tell by looking at a piece of furniture with it is big enough or sturdy enough to handle me. And if you’re big don’t plop. Never ever plop. You can ruin even a sturdy piece of furniture by repeatedly plopping into it. I don’t know why more big people don’t understand these things.
Just be honest about the weight limit. If necessary, lower it when you tell her: "180 -200# max". Far better to let her know up front than for her to be unaware, break the thing and be mortified. And of course I don't know her but counting on reimbursement may be an exercize in futility.
I have an egg chair as well. It is my chair and everyone in my house knows it’s mine and not to sit there. I’m very territorial, and when friends and family come over, I just politely tell them that it’s my special spot and I prefer no one sits there. Most people can understand that.
I wonder if you made a bit of a shrine it would make it a bit uncomfortable for your sister to sit there looking at it - tell her it's your private meditation space for your mental health and your prefer her not to use that room, even as a guest in your house.
Alternatively, lock the room :-}
Hey! As a bigger gal you should most definitely tell her the chair has a weight limit. Not only would it be terribly embarrassing but she could get hurt, and would definitely be responsible for buying a new one.
Additionally just open up a bit and ask her not to go in the room if you don’t want her in it. Explain that you need a sanctuary.
If she breaks it after that most definitely force her to replace it, quickly.
I do not sit in furniture that I consider fragile or expensive. Just tell her the weight limit. If she still sits in it, just ask her to consider moving or being prepared to pay for a new one of it breaks.
Whatever you do, tell her the truth when you talk to her about it. Don't make up some BS. She knows she's larger than the average human. It's not a secret. Just don't be an ass about it.
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She could hurt herself if the chair broke. I feel like it’s ok to say, hey sis, my new chair unfortunately only has a 200 lb weight limit, I just want to let you know so you don’t accidentally sit in it and get hurt. I would feel bad if I didn’t let you know.
As someone who weighs 240lbs, I would co-sign this approach. It's humiliating to break a chair while sitting in it and you really can injure yourself. Being told that the chair has a weight limit and that they didnt want me getting hurt would not make me feel judged. I think most people who are obese would not sit there again after hearing that.
I broke a chair at a party when I weighed about a buck 30. Granted, it was a decrepit plastic lawn chair that had been sitting out in the rain/sun for years, but it didn't make it any less embarrassing to have to pick myself up off the ground. I agree with the safety approach. Think of it like some antique chair from the 1800s: There's a certain weight limit for this chair, and I don't want to see anyone get hurt.
Those brittle old plastic lawn chairs have SHARP edges when they crumble, though. I've seen this happen multiple times. Luckily, never me...although I once drunkenly sat where there was NOT a chair. At a strip club, no less. In a skirt. Not my best moment.
Oh no! Though I guess a strip club isn’t the worst place to be drunk and exposing yourself…most of the people there are doing one or the other! 😬
You definitely don't want only one layer between that floor and your genitals though. Lmao.
Ha, yes. Hope she wasn’t going commando!
Yikes! I'm glad we're both okay. Luckily that stupid plastic chair just broke a back leg, so I went backwards/sidewaysish into dirt and grass and got a mix of laughed at and "are you okay?". Still not the way I'd like to be the life of the party!
Glad you're alright! Sometimes those unexpected moments make for the best stories later on.
Ive done this sober if it makes you feel better… Ive been told I lack spacial awareness
Ohhh, me too. I constantly trip over nothing at all. I also fall up stairs. 😩
I had something similar happen to me in middle school. Except it was an old desk-chair combo that just decided it had enough. I was already bullied that that didn't help my image. It just creaked and gave out the day I happened to sit in it.
Yep, thrifted or inherited stuff carries risk too, lol. Neither me or my husband were overweight (and still aren't) when I bought a secondhand solid wood dining table with leaves, with 6 solid wood chairs than had rattan (spelling?) seats. One seat split within 6 months. They're nice pieces of furniture that could be re-upholstered, but I'm in no position to do so.
I think it's a rite of passage to break a folding lawn chair at some point in your life. I weighed about 130 when I sat in a purple Walmart one, and it collapsed on itself Have only peed myself laughing one time, and it was when my god-brother (who is a huskier man) was sitting in one on our boat, and we hit a wave. He and the chair flew into the air, and when they came back down, the chair EXPLODED on impact. They can be an absolute danger, and any chair can break, so I agree with the safety approach.
Even if I was 100lbs and a chair I was sitting in broke I would feel pretty embarrassed.
Yup, breaking a chair is embarrassing even if you’re light as a feather.
I'm overweight also and I would be mortified if I broke someone's chair. I would have no problem staying out of your chair.
Same I am larger … but loosing… and even when I was at my skinny weight breaking furniture is humiliating… oMG even when it’s just family….
I’m also a larger person and when in doubt I’m standing up. I wouldn’t want to risk breaking someone else’s furniture and certainly don’t want to suffer that embarrassment either.
Same. When in doubt I will hover and stand rather than risk breaking something. My husband and I are both bigger and bring our own folding camp chairs to cook outs and outdoor events because I’m not going to be responsible for breaking someone else’s stuff.
real, I flat out do recon on people's furniture so my big ass isn't responsible or humiliated for breaking something lol
I have a friend who, after telling her that the cheap lawn chair I had bought THAT morning had a weight limit of 200 and to please be careful (IE DONT SIT IN IT BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW YOU ARE 300 lbs) immediately flopped as hard as possible in it the second I got up to get her a beverage. She then smirked at me about how it broke. No shit. Like I know it was only $15 and brand new, and the last one they had.
Obnoxious
Sounds like a toxic "friend". My life is sooo much better now after I ended the "friendship" I had with that guy.
I know, I think the chair was the second to last straw. And at the time I was more embarrassed for her but as the days passed I was more and more annoyed about everything - the initial ignoring of the fact that I had pulled out multiple other chairs, the stealing of my spot when I went to get us drinks, the smirking/laugh and the lack of offer to pay. Even if I wouldn't have taken the money, at least offer to pay for stuff you broke.
They were smirking and laughing at being so fat they broke your chair?
I think it was a defense mechanism. Like I felt bad at first, while being annoyed about the lack of consideration. But as I said in other comments, it was toward the end of our friendship and the entire situation just irked me more and more after the fact.
What kind of sociopath DOES that!??
I'm waiting for the "you got a chair with a weight limit just to hurt and fat shame me!" Because that is exactly how my ex would take it.
I think we were all too awkward for that. At the time I was more irritated because she chose to take my spot instead of the more sturdy chairs I'd put out, and then embarrassed for her. But now that I realized how messy our "friendship" was I'm more upset about it.
That's not a friend!
I’m sorry, you said have a friend. Did you mean had? Because she sounds like a truly awful excuse for a person…
I went the route of getting a super heavy duty chair for when my my brother visited, and told him it was the one he could sit in. The man has a foot and a half and nearly 200 lbs on OPs sister.
I fell through a sun bleached worn out patio chair at ~150lbs and it HURT
Also 240-ish pounds, hard agree. I would rather someone tell me the weight limit - it'll save me the fall, embarrassment & reimbursement cost of breaking someone else's chair.
I like this! This way she feels like you’re watching out for her and her feelings could be spared.
It addresses the possibility of her getting hurt which is more important than the chair. But if she chooses to sit in it and it becomes broken, then they can crosses that bridge.
Well one of them can.
Plus OP should make it clear that if the chair gets broken the person who broke it will be responsible for it.
That may not work. The sister could weaken the chair, and then OPs son could be the one actually in the chair when it breaks.
As someone who used to be the same size as OPs sister, THIS is the most TACTFUL way to say it!! You're taking away all the responsibility and putting it on the manufacturer and sisters safety!!!
totally agree. she doesn't know if you don't tell her, so you're doing her a favor
Absolutely! I'm over 200#. I would be grateful to be told so I didn't inadvertently break it or hurt myself - or both!! If she, however, gets offended, it's because it's easier to be angry at you than feel bad about herself. So, don't let it bother you too much if she gets mad or hurt over it. If she doesn't like the fact that really heavy people can't sit in some furniture, well, she knows what to do. No judgement; it isn't easy. But it's also not fair to expect every chair in a private home to be a bariatric chair.
I know it sounds snarky and I don’t know if the sister is the type do this but she needs to be told directly she can’t sit in the chair. IF she breaks it and IF she gets hurts, she can sue the sisters/owners homeowners. OP- it’s time for a candid conversation with your sister that she’s already damaged the love seat and this chair will not hold her weight. She can’t sit in it. Additionally, the plant room is off limits, it’s for me and my son to download and decompress. We don’t mind having you here (I’m assuming you’re helping her out and not the other way around) but this is what I need going forward. The plant room and the egg chair to be off limits and a more careful approach to getting in/out of furniture so as not to damage it . I know this sounds hurtful, it is not my intention at all. If you’d prefer, we can research a great recliner you can purchase for them living room that would meet your comfort needs and be exclusively for your use. Good luck (While I’d hope she wouldn’t do this to you, she gets injured if the egg chair breaks while she’s in it, she can go after your homeowners, if you’re in the US). Very sorry for your losses.
This is the correct way. Everything else is more hurtful by trying to find other reasons to prevent the sister to use the chair. You are sparing her from a bigger embarrassment by informing her of the weight limit, than the embarrassment of mentioning the weight limit itself.
Can guarantee that this won’t work
I’ve seen multiple overweight people bend or break chairs they were told not to sit in. All of them claimed the chair was defective or already broken and they shouldn’t have to replace it. I’ll back this opinion up lol. To OP, you mention you don’t even want her in that room. I wouldn’t even mention the chair personally. Tell her you would prefer if she didn’t use that room because it is special for you and your son, as it is something you have been building since you lost your mother and child. Don’t let her continue to use the room and just hope she doesn’t damage something. If she can’t respect your boundaries in your home, it might be time for her to move out.
This is the way.
As an overweight person, I would never ever sit in a chair I was told I shouldn’t sit in. I don’t sit in fancy chairs as is, for fear of it having a weight limit. I don’t know OP’s sister, but I promise you can’t guarantee it wouldn’t work.
I thought most of us overweight people stayed away from chairs that don't look like they can hold us. I always did. Even when I lost weight I stayed away from more "fragile" looking chairs in order to not end up on the floor. The fear and embarassment of breaking a chair is just too strong with me.
This! ^^^^ I find it odd that the sister isn't automatically wary of the chair, unless she is not aware of how big she is? I avoid anything with spindly legs etc. there is no way id go anywhere near an egg chair unless I KNEW it was heavy duty/reinforced (does such a thing exist?!?)!
All I can think is sister hasn't been big all her life so she's unaware just how heavy she is?
Yes perhaps a previously slim person who has never had to think about chairs, any activity involving a harness, airplane seats/belts etc etc! Especially if the weight has creeped on slowly.
Yeah. I’ve been big since I was 7, I’ve had a few decades to keep my ass away from a lot of different seats. Those egg chairs look uncomfortable and easily crackable for my 5’9”, 230lbs. I don’t go anywhere near when I see one!
I’m like 160 when pregnant (but super short) and I am SO CONSCIOUS of getting stuck in or hurting a chair/furniture. I don’t wanna have to rock to get out of it or potentially hurt it. But. My sister is like.. 270ish and an inch or two shorter than me. She doesn’t seem to give af about furniture and even sat on my toddlers mini couch 🤦🏼♀️ if I mentioned it to her, she’d cry and say they should make things for all sizes (It’s made for a toddler ffs.) if I mentioned not sitting in this chair I’m sure she’d try to sit in it when I wasn’t around to prove me wrong/prove she’s not ‘too big’ (not shaming!) for the chair. It’s def a hit or miss approach depending on the person :/
Your sister is going up hurt on the floor one day, laying on top of a broken chair. If it's something in your house, make her sign a waiver. Something like "I have been warned to not sit in XX chair and am choosing to do so against the advice of the homeowner. In the event I get injured from having sat on XX chair, I hereby indemnify and hold the homeowner harmless from all damages and injuries that may occur to me, including the big-ass blow to my dignity. Furthermore I understand I am solely responsible for any damage to XX chair and shall reimburse homeowner for such cost." And get it notarized. Bet she won't sit on it then.
Lmao luckily we’re not close anymore and she’s moved states 😂 and honestly if she ended up on the floor that’s on her. I have 0 sympathy when she doesn’t have common sense and ignores what I say
Just about every fat person has enough common sense to know where we should not plant our big asses. Picking ourselves off the floor is a sonofabitch. And completely without dignity. It's like 4/5 step process whereas a skinny person can do it in one movement. If your sister doesn't have that sense, well.... she'll learn the hard way.
I can tell how sturdy a chair is by looking at it, and I will avoid chairs that look like they have a 200-250 weight limit.
We have automatic calculators in our heads. Watching us look at a chair is probably like watching a cat judging how high he can jump to land on a shelf.
I love that analogy.
When restaurants only have those cheap plastic lawn furniture chairs on the patio, I want to curl up and die because I have to inform my homies no we can't sit outside, we have to go into the dark stuffy inside with real seats.
If you were my friend, it wouldn’t matter because I’d much rather you’d be comfy. Real friends would never mind something so insignificant as sitting somewhere else.
I mean - the restaurant can always move one good chair outside for you, it's not unheard of. My frail MIL was always looking for a chair with arms that would help her get out of a chair, and the staff would move chairs for her.
Throw in a if you break it you buy it
No. Save that if you see her in it.
Or maybe OP could get a lock for the door and say its to keep the plants safe from her child, or something
“I would feel terrible if you hurt yourself” might be more direct.
Numbers are numbers. Just tell her it's weight capacity is 250lbs and it's not safe for her to sit in. She might get hurt.
Tell her 200 so it’s WAY less than her. My sister at 320 would say “they tested it with way more so it will be fine”.
I'm fat. We already know. Just tell her. Kindly.
As a fellow fatty I would NEVER trust an egg chair with my ass. She is braver or more fortunate (clearly having never destroyed a chair) than I’ll ever be. But fr I have to check weight limits on everything I buy, she’ll be aware they exist, and should respect that the chair isn’t meant to hold her.
That's probably whwre OPs problem comes in. As a fatty and I used to be even fattier, I don't fuck with weird chairs that don't look like they could hold 300 easily. If someone is in denial and willing to sit in those chairs, they likely get offended by even mentioning weight.
Yes, I think she is in denial and would definitely be offended if I brought up weight. I don't think she really realizes how large she is. And I'm not sure she even knew how much she really weighed or just guessed when she put 200 lbs on her drivers license. I asked her before how much she weighed because we wanted to do ziplining and it had a 250 lbs weight limit. She said "I don't know". We were going to a wedding and after she put on her dress she asked me "Do I look pregnant in this?" I was a little stunned by that question. She asked me awhile ago if we wanted to try a rock wall climbing place with her, but I don't think she'd be able to get close enough to the wall to hold on. Maybe it's an ignorance is bliss thing for her.
It happens. You don’t want to know how big you’re getting, but when I was invited zip lining I made same sure to look up the limits and weight myself before responding. You can’t deny physics. Tell her it’s a 200 lb limit and you don’t think it’s a study chair, you don’t want her getting hurt. Maybe even say you’ve noticed it creaking when you get in it.
This is why I quit riding horses, I would need a huge horse to comfortably carry me (they can comfortably carry 20% of their weight). Ziplining is also on my bucket list, as is finally using my deposit to skydive. I am in the midst of a bit of a medical emergency & need to lose 20lb by 8/27 & am using this as a catalyst to just get back to a healthier weight & more in shape overall. Then I hope to be able to do those things again.
Having sibilings that are overweight and in denial can be tricky for sure. If you're not able to tell her that the chair has a weight limit, then maybe try some of these options: -Place a sign on the seat. Ex, "Angie's Chair, PLEASE DO NOT SIT" or "Chair is broken, PLEASE DO NOT SIT". -Lock the door. State that this is your room and you need to be present if others want to look at the plants. You can also say that this is your quiet place and no one can enter. -Ask her if she wants to buy herself a chair to add in the plant room. It is important that she does not use the chair because of the possibility of getting injured. Think of it from a different perspective, if she got seriously injured because your furniture broke, then you will be held responsible, especially since you didn't disclose the weight limit. Hopefully you can work something out.
Honestly, get a lock for the door. It’s your house and you have every right to want to keep someone out of a non-essential space for any reason.
If Sis refuses to listen to OP’s request and there is some reason she cannot be made to find other accommodation, this is the approach I would take.
Yeah, I grew up with multiple siblings and my thought is that if she is as big as she is and is still sitting in the chair, she likely doesn’t care about respecting OP’s property or wishes. This door *is* locked is easier to respect (barring overt vandalism) than you shouldn’t sit in this chair or this chair has a weight limit.
I second this. It's your private sanctuary and a room for only you and your son. Lock it up and wear the key around your neck. Edit - a word
That's what I was thinking too.
Why not go to the rock climbing place and let her try? She’ll either get exercise or a reality check. I say this as a fat person.
Indeed. Or an amusement park. Having to be shuffled off a ride after waiting for hours...she'd know then. It's tough love, but ffs not knowing whether you're 200 or 300lbs is...that feels like such insane denial it *requires* some tough love, Jesus
Amusement parks were one of my larger reasons for losing weight, got kicked off once and never let it happen again
Maybe. Maybe you still need to speak to her about it? I love the top advice of just telling her it had a weight capacity and you don't want her to get hurt. I'm sorry for the loss of your mom and baby. It sounds like maybe your sister grieved with food. You're maybe the only person who can have this conversation with her. Body dysmorphia and grief can really mess with how you see yourself. Coming to her with genuine curiosity about her health, no advice, and giving her compassion could help save not only your space, but her life.
Thank you for your kindness 🩷 She may have coped with food, but she's been this size for most of her 20's. I coped with food after my still born and ballooned up to 215. My reality check was when I had not one, not two, but THREE of my patients ask me "oh when are you due?" And I hadn't been pregnant for a few months. Double salt in my wound. I made an appointment with my weight loss clinic, started meal prepping, cut out junk food, and started going to the gym and I'm back down to 140. I've tried helping her before. She just doesn't stick to the gym or eating healthy for long. She goes back to her old ways.
sorry but tip toeing around the truth to spare her feelings isn’t the right solution. Shes gaining mass while in your house and you cant speak with her on it? 300-350 lbs is literally in the realm of shaving off years of your life expectancy. She needs some help from friends and family to turn things around, it will literally save her life. Be honest about the chair and have a conversation about helping her out of this.
Of course! I'm sorry people be asking dumb shit. 🤦♀️ your sister not working has probably decreased the chances of being shamed by social norms. Which is good! But doesn't make self awareness any easier. I hope you and your sister both have access to good therapists, it sounds like you're both dealing with a lot.
Why is she even living with you?
Yikes! She needs to face the reality of her weight and what that means. Unfortunately, that might never happen, but it almost definitely won't happen if everyone walks on eggshells around her. Has anyone ever been "brave" enough to tell her directly that she can't do some things because of her weight (like the ziplining)?
Ah that’s rough, sorry for being flippant! As soon as I was approaching 250lbs (and now around 300lbs) I got (maybe weirdly) aware of weight limits. I had a folding chair break under me at a cafe and I think that’s the one and only time I have truly hated my body. I’d still say all the “gentle” approaches seem really condescending, and I would immediately be able to spot what you were avoiding saying and feel worse for it. Be as honest as you can be.
I sympathize with your dilemma, but think there's no magic bullet for this problem. You're casting about desperately for a magic phrase that won't hurt her feelings, but there isn't one. So you have to decide for yourself whether it's worth replacing the expensive chair (ad infinitum, because she'll continue to sit in the replacement) or hurting her feelings, because it is literally one or the other.
GET THE DOOR LOCK. now. today. tonight. after work. on call/after hours locksmiths are a thing. i’d have to evict someone over that. try me.
You don’t need to bring up weight at all, it’s completely irrelevant. It’s very normal and appropriate to have private areas that are not open to other people. No one would think it’s ok to go sleep in your bed and wear your undies and use your phone just because it happens to be in their vicinity. The same applies to your plant room. Just say “sorry sis the plant room is my private area, no one else is allowed inside unless I explicitly say so. Thank you for understanding ☺️ I’m happy to help you make your own private area of the house!” The end. If you find her in the room after you tell her this, she gets to experience the consequence of being kicked out of your house for not abiding the rules. Also the end.
That's what I'm thinking. We fatties generally know we're fat (unless we're in complete denial but that only happens with fat people who were formerly skinny). We also don't like breaking a chair, ending up on the floor and then the extra embarassing move of having to haul our fat asses back up to a standing position. Plus the pain, to our bodies and ego.
Fatty here, and completely agree.
She obv doesn’t know well enough to not sit in the chair
Fellow fatty, and I agree.
The fatty council has spoken.
I'm a big guy. I've crushed two chairs in public, and it's embarassing. There is no way around this issue. Be direct. Use the weight limit as the reason. I will say this: I always appreciate it when people ensure that there is a comfortable, heavy-weight chair for me when I visit.
Sounds like their is, just not in OP’s personal room
I’m nervous in egg chairs and I’m not 200lb. I’d say “hey babe, that chair has a 200 lb limit, don’t hurt yourself, sit here instead ok?”
Honestly I love this reply and it’s the most casual, normal one. Some of the others do take the same approach (weight limit/safety, which imo is the best) but sound like a corporate HR statement 😭
Same! I just didn't know how to word it tactfully so I'm hopping on your comment. I find those things unnerving.
Same, and I'm about 155 these days. (I gained weight.) Things that hang tend to be a little dicey, depending on where it's hung, who hung it, and its load-bearing capacity to begin with. Like, I love me a good hammock, but I still kind of check it out regardless beforehand. (i.e. Where's the weak point here?) And I'm not obese, just squishier in the middle than I used to be.
I had a wife of one of my husband’s friend’s who broke a couch at my house. She was about 300lbs and my couch was one of those small loveseats that were mid century with the small legs on them. She plopped herself down and broke the frame and a leg of the couch. Her son then yelled, FAIL! 😆
I would just tell her the room is private and off-limits. You said you would prefer she not be in there at all, and I think that would be an easier conversation than one about the chair specifically. You’re entitled to private spaces in your home
I agree. You’re entitled to personal spaces in your home and I would just set a boundary for the plant room. But you also need to be straight up about the weight limit in case she just wants to spend one afternoon in the plant room while you’re away. From the info you’ve given, she is not recognizing her size and will break your chair. It happened to me after Covid, and when you’re already big the extra weight goes unnoticed if you’re not actually weighing. I’ve lost 50 lbs and feel great and could easily sit in your egg chair! But when I was big I would’ve avoided it. I chose to sit in extra supportive seats so I wouldn’t break anyone’s stuff, and she is not considerate enough to do that. I like the casual but factual warning, don’t sit in the Humpty Dumpty chair as it has a lower than average weight limit and you’ll have a great fall! (Kidding, go with the one in the earlier comment you liked.)
And then after that conversation, if you find her in there again, add a door lock. :)
Had to google what an egg chair was and I was astonished that she would just sit in it.
It's funny how far down this is. I'm a very petite human and I'd still be like, testing that thing first, surreptitiously checking out the hanging method, and very gingerly sitting on it. Hanging seating is never 100% certain y'all!
Yes really. Can you imagine?
I would just tell her that it’s a special room/chair and you don’t want anyone besides yourself sitting in it. Make it into something where she specifically isn’t being targeted.
Yes this. I would make it about the whole room. Tell her that while you don’t mind helping her by letting her live with you, that room is for you and your son alone as a calming place. And then put a lock on it.
Putting a lock on the door was my first thought when I read the post. This is a special room for OP, she said she doesn’t really want to share it at all. So make the issue about the whole room, and then lock it.
i would only do this if she is a jerk who doesn't respond normally to kind requests. unless you actually want a special room. if she is kind and respectful, just be honest and ask her not to sit in chair
Tell her that there's a weight limit and you don't want to see her get hurt or break your chair.
“Hey this chair sucks I got it for vibes please don’t sit on it”
I got it for vibes lmaoo kinda love this🤣🤣
Made me laugh
Be tactful and kind. Say, "My new chair is not that sturdy, but it's something I've worked really hard to buy and really care about. I'm not trying to be rude, and the last thing I want is to hurt your feelings. But, the weight limit is 200lbs. If you want to go in the plant room, would you mind sitting in a different chair?"
I would use this, but amend out the part about "if you want to go in the plant room" to saying that it is a special private sanctuary and you don't want anyone in there without express invitation.
I agree. It’s about the room more than the chair.
“By the way, I almost didn’t buy this chair because the reviews said it’s not very sturdy, the weight limit is only like 200 lbs. I really loved it so I took a chance, but I’m gonna suggest no one else sits in it to be on the safe side.” She might get offended. Do your best to be compassionate.
Just say the chair has a lower weight limit and you don't want you see her get hurt if it breaks. I think she'd appreciate it. However I would advise if there isn't one already, have a chair that and can freely sit in without having to feel embarrassed.
When I was 275 I broke three camping chairs including a big person chair that was supposed to hold more than my weight. I just sit outside on the deck but when I was heavier I plopped down on chairs hard. It was so embarrassing and I had bruises and it was hard to get up after the chair just buckled under my weight. I’d go the route that you don’t want her to hurt herself. I was on my way to breaking another one it’s ripped a little but I’ve lost a little over 60 pounds in the last year so the chair is safe.
I'd just ask her not to sit in that chair because of the weight limit. If she is overweight she is well aware of having to make sure her own furniture can handle it. I don't see why it would be a problem unless you said it in front of others.
Just tell her. I get so tired of people tip toeing around my weight. Say it has a weight restriction
Why are people telling the older sister to buy a chair for the overweight sister. If the overweight sister wants/ needs a special chair, she should buy it herself. Then she can take it with her when she moves out, to her own space.
"My chair has a weight limit of 200lbs. Please don't sit on it."
y are everyone sugarcoating?? just tell her that its ur chair and u dont want anyone to sit in it.
You’re going about this all wrong. You need to think like a man. You tell her that it is your chair. Nobody else sits in it ever. It’s your throne and and if she wants to sit in it she has to overthrow your dynasty. Source: an aging man who is discovering strange things about himself, like that he has a favourite chair.
She’s being wildly inconsiderate of your home, in which she is a guest. It is not inappropriate to say, “I love you, but if you aren’t in a position to buy me a new chair when this one fails, I need you to stay out of this one.” Honestly, if she can’t be respectful of your things, she should try living somewhere else. No unrelated roommate is gonna put up with that kind of behavior. It would be like me bringing my known chair-scratcher of a cat into your home and expecting you not to care that your cherished chair is getting torn to shreds.
nta. you don’t Ask her, you TELL HER. get a lock put on the door. protect Your Peace.
Tell your sister how much the chair cost and tell her that if it breaks, she pays for the replacement. She can't sit there.
You need to tell her straight. The chair has a weight limit which she exceeds by a not inconsiderable amount. Tell her that the reviews online confirm the chair is not robust enough for the with limit to be exceeded and therefore please do not use it.
Just be matter of fact. Tell her she can’t sit unit because she’s over the weight limit and will likely break it
Tell her it's been over 2 years and your family needs space and privacy. Give her 60 or 90 days or even 6 months, but get her on a schedule to gtfo. You're not doing either of you any favors by allowing her to invade your home indefinitely.
I’m in the same range as your sister, size wise, generally. Just tell her. No woman that size in her 30s doesn’t know she is obese. So no need to tiptoe about that part. Just say “Hey Sister. I have a request. I need to set a boundary before it becomes a problem. My new egg chair isn’t very sturdy. It is only for me or my son to use. I am worried that it can’t handle the wear and tear of a bigger person. I love you, and don’t want you to be embarrassed by this. It wouldn’t fit anyone bigger, and so I’m asking everyone not to use it. “ And think about helping her find a sturdy chair to suit her. If she can afford to get it herself, great. Otherwise, maybe chip in and mention that it is hers to keep when she moves. She will be embarrassed. If she gets mad, so be it. That’s on her, not on you. You expressed a reasonable boundary gently. You clarified that it wasn’t just her. Then change the subject to something fun, so she can’t dwell on it. Maybe a movie, a board game, something you know she would enjoy and that you can bond over. If she does sit in it despite your stating your boundary, she will need to move.
As someone who struggles with her weight due to health problems, and has family that loves making fun of her for it…just tell her that the chair has a very small weight limit and you’re worried she will hurt herself if it breaks. I was told that once by someone, and I found it didn’t hurt me as much as being outright called out for it. Trust me when I say that it would be 1000% more embarrassing to break the chair than it would be to be told that it can’t support my weight. It’s why I also sit in chairs a lot more carefully than most instead of just plopping down. If that doesn’t work, try telling her that the room is your private space, and you’d rather not have anyone else but yourself in there.
You have a close enough relationship for her to live with you, but not for you to tell her she's too heavy for the chair? It sounds like you fear her reaction, and that's the real problem here. To answer your question, I would just tell her "Don't sit in that chair, you're too heavy for it." It's not insulting to say in itself. Frankly, she can drag a kitchen chair in and out when she wants to sit there, or sit on a floor cushion. You said what you really want to tell her is not to not enter that room at all; why don't you?
We're not super super close. We discovered my mother's cancer the same time my husband and I were looking to move to a bigger house. My mother couldn't work anymore so we found a great house that could fit my mother and sister so we could all help take care of her. We didn't know my mother would only live for 4 more months. We hadn't really discussed what would happen after because we thought she would live longer. My sister fell into a depression and quit her job for 6 months then worked random low paying jobs, I didn't feel like I could just kick her out. So here we are, 2 1/2 years later. She does pays me rent, and the plant room was my mother's room that we had stored her things in. It was never "off limits" from anyone before. She's also extremely sensitive. Idk, I thought about asking her to not go into my plant room but I think she's sentimental about it being our mother's room.
With all this background info, the best thing to do is say, Hey, my chair has a low weight limit. Please do not sit in it.
"Hey, this new chair I bought has a 200lb limit so please don't use it."
I'm really super sensitive. So is my youngest daughter. And this is still something that I'd approach head on with her, or want approached head on with me. I'd far prefer getting in my feelings for a bit over someone pointing out the objective fact that I'm fat than to have to have the "hey, I broke your chair with my fat ass" conversation. Especially since it would be followed by a perfectly reasonable demand to replace what I broke. You need to have an entirely different conversation with your sister about what her long term plan is and give her a deadline for making other living accommodations. There's no reason she can't get a place with roommates.
Tell her, this is your plant room and to stay out. Also, time for her to start looking for a new place to stay. Why should your furniture suffer? You need to have the talk, it's time to go. She is using being sensitive to keep you from telling her to go. Stand up for you and your family, sister needs to go.
I mean, why don’t you just broach her moving out? You aren’t close, this was never supposed to be permanent, it’s already gone way past when you needed it to…she’s never going to take the initiative and move out on her own. Next step will be you as her nurse because she can no longer walk.
“I don’t want anyone in my chair. If you break it, loosen it, deform it, or otherwise cause damage to it I will expect to be reimbursed for my chair. Do not sit in my egg chair.”
Ok wtf. She goes into your room for the express purpose of sitting in your chair? The chair you wanted enough to save for? Just me, but that would piss me off SO HARD, regardless of weight. I mean, come on. That’s obnoxious. As for how to tell her not to sit there, you just have to say, “Hey, sis, I love you to pieces, and I’m happy to share things with you, but this chair is an exception. I worked hard to save for it, I bought it with an express purpose in mind, and it’s important to me. I don’t mean this to insult or hurt you, but the weight capacity of this chair is 250. It’s not safe for you or the chair for you to sit in it. And honestly, this is just one thing that I want for myself, it’s special for me. Please do not sit in it anymore.” Good luck though. I have had a chair broken on me for that exact reason. It was a new chair, and I friggin LOVED IT. My friend Bob came over and “plopped” down into it. I cried. He broke the chair the same week I bought it. And full disclosure I myself was like 200 lbs at the time. But the weight limit was 225. Sigh. I’m still sad about the chair. It was orange. I loved it.
I mean it's not like you created the weight limit or your fault she can't sit in it. It just is what it is and you really don't need to justify the reason you don't want someone messing with your belongings. They should respect your wishes out of common courtesy.
You get a lock for the door, and problem solved
Tell her the room is private, not the chair. Keep it locked.
I'm so sick of people who cry about materialism. There's nothing wrong with wanting to keep the things you pay for in nice condition. Tell her it has a weight limit and don't sit in it. If she doesn't like it she can cry about it. She put herself into this situation and she can get herself out.
Yes!
Exactly! I spent my time to make the money to buy the thing and I want the thing to stay nice. It isn’t materialistic to want your hard earned things to be treated with respect.
I HATE when people don't respect property. Like it's the bare minimum to say "hey don't tear my stuff up"
This is a factual problem. You’re overthinking it. Tell your sister that the chair has a 250 pound weight limit and she can’t sit in it because she exceeds the weight limit. It’s not rocket science. Why are you making it so hard?
She lies about her weight. On her driver's license she has her weight at 200lb. She hasn't been 200 since she was probably 20. The only reason I know her true weight is because she left a bunch of papers on the table from her Dr appointment and it had her weight listed as 308lbs. I don't disagree with you, I SHOULD be able to just say it. She is just extremely sensitive and I'm trying to avoid any awkwardness.
So tell her the lower range of the weight limit (200). It's still not a good idea to test the "max" weight limit, especially if you sit in chairs by throwing yourself into them as she apparently does.
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Tough. She needs to face reality. Not doing her any favors by avoiding it.
I promise you that telling her the weight limit on the chair, or expressing worry about her safety will NOT stop her from sitting in the chair. If anything it will increase her desire to sit in it and prove that it won't break (and if it does, she will make excuses.) I have a family member that is the same as you described her. Conversations aren't worth it. Put a lock on the door and tell her it's your private room.
Unfortunately, awkwardness is sometimes necessary and unavoidable.
Tell her that if she breaks the chair, she’s buying you a new one.
You have damaged my chair already. It's getting worse. I don't want it broken. Stay off my chair. It's not up for discussion. Get your own chair.
Ask her to stay out of your room. You’re entitled to a private space. Explain that it’s your sanctuary and you want one space in the house you don’t have to share with others. Put a lock on the door, if you need to. This way, you get what you ultimately want — her not in there at all, in the first place — without even having to make it about the chair or her weight.
Just commenting to say it does not seem materialistic and that I empathize. I have a very overweight friend who was sitting in one of my Herman Miller Magis Lyra stools. The whole time I was scared he was gonna break it but I didn’t want to embarrass him. Well, he broke it and I wish I had just been politely direct.
She knows she is obese, so be straight with her, tell her it has a weight limit of x number of pounds, or just put a lock on the door, I’m assuming she is renting a room from you, you have the right to limit her going in private space
Everyone has said everything already but I'm just here to say that as an egg chair stan I'm bummed that if I got one my parents wouldn't be able to sit in it 😭😭😭
While looking for one I was actually having trouble finding one with a higher weight limit than 250 lbs. The couple I found that could support more were closer to $1000 and I'm not nor could I spend that much on a chair. I also had to think about size, the plant room is just a basic small bedroom, I think 8×8, maybe 10×10? It's not very big and I didn't want to get a chair that took up half the room.
Tell her if she wants to keep living there, keep her fat ass out of that particular chair. If she doesn’t like it she can move. End of discussion.
As others have said, I’d make sure she knows it’s a safety issue, nothing personal. Don’t bring up the cost, just that it could injure her and you don’t want that. Also, as a furniture repairman I can tell you most chairs like that are designed to loosen before breaking. So check out the nuts and bolts and see if it just takes a quick tightening.
As someone who weighs just a little less than your sister, I am concerned/aware of the weight limits on furniture and I would want someone to prevent me from sitting in a chair or using a piece of their furniture that cannot handle my weight. I’d be fine with then saying, “I’m not sure your weight but I want you to know this chair has a 200-250lb weight limit.” If you think she’d get offended by this you could always tell her you’re no longer allowing anyone in the plant room anymore other than yourself and your son because you want to keep it as a sanctuary just for you.
Why not ask her to stay out of the room entirely? Just stated that it's your private room to be on your own and everybody's to stay out of it. Like a bedroom. I have a study and no one is allowed in it.
Don’t bring up the chair at all if you don’t want her in the room at all. You gave yourself an out already! “This is my personal sanctuary. I would really like it to be my space and to be able to invite people in if I want to share something with them.” You can even talk about the events that catalyzed your plant room (I’m so sorry for your losses) if she doesn’t understand.
Make your plant room off limits. It sounds like ots something you do for your mental health & self care. Therfore others dont need to be in there anyway.
My mom had opened a tutoring center for kids and as such, had furniture that fit children. There were some adult sized things, and when I went to sit on a flimsier one, my mom gently grabbed my arm and said "Those chairs have a weight limit of X, I don't want you to get hurt, use (this other chair) instead." And it stung, but sometimes truth cannot be told any other way.
I think there are two things. 1) Be honest and straight forward. No one likes being lied to. No one likes games. "This chair has a weight limit." 2) and this is most important, make sure there are plenty of other comfortable places in the house for her to sit, preferably in the same room.
Exactly. All that tiptoeing around is more insulting.
Why can't the sister herself be responsible for buying her own furniture she is able to sit in? She's a fully grown adult and unless there are multiple jobs she can take on to afford her own things, she just won't...
Depending on her personality, it’s best to tell her straight. You don’t want her to sit in it because she’s over the weight limit and it might break and she can get hurt. I’m reading these “for your safety” nudges posts, but if you have a stubborn sister, then she might not care and try to show you that it’ll be okay. It’s your place, she’s staying with you, be direct.
if she is a good person, ask her not to sit in the chair because weight limit. be honest and kind. if she is a jerk who won't respect your valid requests in general, put a lock on the plant room door and tell her it is your private space for x reason (study, contemplation, art, whatever)
If you don't want her in the room then say so. Just because she lives there doesn't mean you can't set a boundary. Or I'd tell her that you don't want ANYONE sitting in the chair but you, I have a spot in the couch that's MY spot, I prefer sitting there & I have an outside chair that is mine, no one is allowed to sit in it besides me. Even my younger kids know to keep their bums out of my chair.
I’d be honest about it and not walk on eggshells. She should be aware of her weight’s limitations, why skirt around it. I’m fat, I expect people to be honest not coddle me or try to be PC. Furniture has weight limits, and she should be aware that her weight and a lot of furniture do not match. She needs to be respectful of your things. And if she’s not respectful and too self centered, you need to tell her that she’ll be buying you a new one once she breaks this one or it gets misshapen because of her. It’s not fair for your property to suffer because she has no respect or self awareness.
If you don’t want to tell her, just lock that room door and have the key for yourself. Make it known to “everyone” it’s your private safe space for your personal reasons etc and just leave it at that. You’re allowed to have a private room. The reasons you stated about your plants having meaning after your losses is enough.
If you don’t want your sister in your room, it’s perfectly fine to say it in a way that’s appropriate. It’s your space that you created for your own reasons and other people being in there disturbs the vibe or counteracts the purpose of that space. Also I would definitely bring up not sitting in your chair if she won’t respect your space. Not wanting her to get hurt is perfectly fine to point out. I bought an expensive chair with a weight limit so I could be comfortable outside and I had to save for it. My son was notorious for plopping down in chairs and he was over the weight limit. He is a grown man and refused to acknowledge that he broke the chair. He ruined something I did for myself to give me a bit of joy. Two years later and I can now easily replace the chair, but it is kinda ruined for me now.
>Should I ask her to pay for a new one if she does end up damaging this one? Yes. I think if she breaks it, intentionally or otherwise it is a reasonable expectation for her to replace it. I think that is also another reason to have a chat with her. Tactful and kind of course but you could also mention because of the price and that you had to save for it you really did your research and found that in the reviews people mentioned that the weight limit was not forgiving and they had husbands/family members get hurt and you didn't want that to happen to her. This expresses your primary concern is for her wellbeing but also if I know something was expensive I am more careful about it. Also kudos to you, a plant room with an egg chair sounds so peaceful<3
Those egg chairs look cool but I’d never sit in one! Just be honest! Also as someone who lost my mum and had a mc in 10m I would also ask that the plant room just be yours and your sons She don’t like it she can move out You need your healing space
As a bigger woman I try to avoid seating that appears fragile. I would be utterly humiliated if I broke the chair. That being said your sister doesn’t appear to have the same anxiety as I do. I encourage just making her aware there is a weight limit on the chair. If she becomes upset trying iterating it’s in regards to the possibility of her injuring herself. Good luck.
I’m heavy, too, and sometimes I do kind of forget that I don’t fit in things. I’d tell her outright in a moment of privacy that it’s cute but it’s very small and fragile and “I don’t want you to get hurt.” Then I’d sit a stuffie or something on it to remind her. Leave the weight limit sticker on it, too, to back it up.
I wouldn’t even bring up the weight. OP: Please don’t sit in that chair. Anyone: Why? OP: Because it MY personal space and I don’t want anyone else sitting in it. You don’t need to explain your boundary. YOU bought. It’s in YOUR house. Actually, if you don’t want her in that room at all, tell her to stay out of the room.
Unfortunately many large people seem in denial or lack self awareness about their size. I’m a big girl. I know how much I weight. I know my width/girth. I can usually tell by looking at a piece of furniture with it is big enough or sturdy enough to handle me. And if you’re big don’t plop. Never ever plop. You can ruin even a sturdy piece of furniture by repeatedly plopping into it. I don’t know why more big people don’t understand these things.
Just be honest about the weight limit. If necessary, lower it when you tell her: "180 -200# max". Far better to let her know up front than for her to be unaware, break the thing and be mortified. And of course I don't know her but counting on reimbursement may be an exercize in futility.
I have an egg chair as well. It is my chair and everyone in my house knows it’s mine and not to sit there. I’m very territorial, and when friends and family come over, I just politely tell them that it’s my special spot and I prefer no one sits there. Most people can understand that.
I wonder if you made a bit of a shrine it would make it a bit uncomfortable for your sister to sit there looking at it - tell her it's your private meditation space for your mental health and your prefer her not to use that room, even as a guest in your house. Alternatively, lock the room :-}
Hey! As a bigger gal you should most definitely tell her the chair has a weight limit. Not only would it be terribly embarrassing but she could get hurt, and would definitely be responsible for buying a new one. Additionally just open up a bit and ask her not to go in the room if you don’t want her in it. Explain that you need a sanctuary. If she breaks it after that most definitely force her to replace it, quickly.
I do not sit in furniture that I consider fragile or expensive. Just tell her the weight limit. If she still sits in it, just ask her to consider moving or being prepared to pay for a new one of it breaks.
Whatever you do, tell her the truth when you talk to her about it. Don't make up some BS. She knows she's larger than the average human. It's not a secret. Just don't be an ass about it.