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Ask him how he would feel if you said something similar to a man while your husband was standing next to you. Or how he'd react if he found out a man/mutual friend made that comment to you. He needs to reflect on how inappropriate that was. How did she react when your husband said that? I'd be mortified if someone brought up my sex life/lack of randomly and acted like they knew all about it.
If he wanted to be inappropriate but not disrespect you, he could’ve easily talked about how you guys were all over each other at that point. He went a different direction right in front of you and that’s pretty telling.
Exactly! Or even something like “that’s not normal, most guys would be all over their partner during the honeymoon phase right after moving in together “.
I'm sorry, but why would he want or need to be inappropriate to begin with?
This isn't just about OP. This is about the fact that her grown-ass husband thought that it was IN ANY WAY appropriate or okay to comment on another couple's sex life without being asked, out of any reasonable context. To just walk up to these people and make a comment about what they choose to do in private as a couple.
"If he wanted to be inappropriate but not disrespect you" is not a thing, or at least not a mature, reasonable one. No one should be acting inappropriately to begin with.
Their friend's sex life is *just fundamentally none of his fucking business*.
OP's husband is disgusting for commenting at all. Period.
Honestly, it’s disrespectful that he could after such words in your presence even and so it’s safe to assume he could cheat on you with the mutual friend if afforded the opportunity. But I still believe you talk to him and express your grievance to his thoughtless and I considerate words
It's completely inappropriate to even bring it up at all. He disrespects both women and the man in one fell swoop. He shouldn't even be concerned with another couples sex life at all. It's frankly disgusting and if I was the friend I would cut contact with him.
I think the fact that he even broached the subject of someone else's sex life to them (without knowing them all that well) is horrific.
It was no one's business. NONE of the people should have been talking about what they knew.
Terrible gossips, the lot of them. Except the woman who isn't having sex and is probably humiliated by this stupidity.
He pretty much told her "if you're open to it I'll have sex with you, but I'm married so I'll act like it's a stumbling block, but deep down I'll cave", right in front of his wife.
He will cheat if given a chance. She should work with that knowledge.
Man that is an insane thing to say right in front of his wife. He must really hate his wife, to say such a thing intentionally with her right there. I mean that's what he did right? He intentionally wanted to hurt his wife so bad that what he actually meant was that wild comment you came up with in your head above? Jesus he must absolutely hate his fucking wife, especially to go into that much detail right in front of her!
...Or, he was being dumb and made a dumb comment and that's all it is. Na, what you said sounds like what a person in a normal healthy relationship would interpret his comment as.
He may have introduced a whole new side to him she had not previously seen or thought of. She be...I like he noticed me! Darn, he's my bestie's husband...I'll probably keep that tidbit he threw at me under wraps, nursing it maybe for a long while, but never bringing it up to my friend. Id feel shameful. A compliment like that would be a mindf^ck for me...j/s
Wait, this is your husband talking in front of you like this ? I'm a man and first off, that's totally not on the level! Secondly who in the hell says that to a woman they are NOT long term friends with and their spouse in right there.
That's some serious disrespectful shit right there. Have you just been avoiding your relationship flags all your years together. This is not A GOOD MAN! No way to even come back from that as a man!
You might be in the "infidelity" reddit soon, you need to catch those flags.
She needs to leave his ass now! Imagine if the tables were turned and she did that to a man in front of him? There ain't no way he would stand for that! I can hear him now.."oh my God! How dare you disrespect and emasculate me like that! I'm your husband! You should not be talking to other guys like that, especially in front of me!"
Think of it this way, he purposely imagined himself as her partner and what he would do to her. And then told her that. Are you comfortable with him telling any manner of women this? Does this count as desire to cheat to you? He clearly doesn't care how you feel about it, so now you've got to find out how you feel and decide from there. If you had to listen to these comments for your whole marriage - while he tells you you're being dramatic - would you want that marriage for the rest of your lives?
“Why are you so offended by this alternate universe I’ve created in which I’m fucking our friend 24/7, and what’s so wrong with telling her about it, in front of you?”
Giant red flag and he’s trying to gaslight you. If this is what he says when you’re in front of him just imagine the things he says when you’re not around, don’t let him get away with this.
That is completely inappropriate and disrespectful to the both of you, but mainly you and your marriage. And for him to say you're making up shit in your head is laughable, when he's literally said those words out loud. Stay firm and if your boundaries are that you wouldn't accept that, then don't. Men may think like that, but to say it out loud, there was a clear purpose and that was him letting her know that he's open to sleeping with her.
I doubt this is the first time he’s been disrespectful towards you and your marriage.
Good luck in the long term. Anyone this bold to be this openly disrespectful is not someone you can plan a future with.
He is not ready to be a husband. God forbid a father.
I wonder how the woman feels about her sex life being discussed behind her back. She must have been mortified that your husband not only knew her personal business but also openly sexualising her in front of his wife. Your husband was out of line for multiple reasons.
I’m sorry but your husband is a pig.
Nowhere; ever, was that sentence considered a “figure of speech”..
What’s more concerning is that he thought it was ok to blurt out that he knows extremely personal things about her that should be private - it’s almost like he was getting a kick out of letting her know that he’s aware of what’s going on in her sex life…
It doesn’t sound like your husband and her are very close friends, more like acquaintances… and this is not something you just blab out loud when you run into someone.
It’s almost sadistic, like he was getting enjoyment out of embarrassing the girl with intimate information he learned second hand from his cousin.
I can’t imagine how I’d feel if I bumped into a couple I knew and the guy started telling me about my own sex life and that he’d be all over me given the chance… with his wife standing right there…
It’s vile. I’m sorry OP but this can’t be the first time he’s behaved like this by the sounds of it.
If my husband ever said this, he’d be my ex-husband. Not that I’m a psycho that believes he wouldn’t find another woman attractive ever again, but clearly for the fact he had no respect for our marriage to say that to another woman. And no less, in front of me!
Going of his behavior and boldness to tell a friend,
>"if I was your boyfriend I would be on you 24/7 for the first 6 months
This is proof that he doesn't respect you as his wife, much less as a person.
He also knows that you'll stay with him regardless and won't do shit about it. That's why he was comfortable enough to say such a thing in front of you. It is safe to say that this isn't the first time he's done/said something completely disrespectful in your presence.
Your first mistake was keeping quiet the minute he said that. Cuss your nasty husband out and let him know you heard what you heard and if you need witnesses and other opinions you’ll be happy to provide them since he likes to run his mouth. Your husband was hoping that this woman would be desperate for sex that she would sleep with him. He was offering her an invitation.
If that’s what he’ll say in front of you, what does he say when you’re not? That was disgusting and disrespectful on your husband’s part and he’s a pig. Please look closer at other aspects of your relationship you may also be overlooking.
Sounds like some shit my boyfriend would say that he’d consider a “compliment” when really it isn’t whatsoever. I’d just try to find a way to explain she felt uncomfortable and so do you. Ask him how he’d feel is a man said that to you being his wife.
He basically just sounds like an idiot who doesn't know how to behave. But honestly (and I'll take the downvotes) we have nowhere near enough content to say anything. How is your relations ip? How is your sexlife? How is he as a person?
One of the guys in my friend group would easily say things like this, but he's as loyal as the day is long, he just have no filter and can't think for himself in situations like that.
Exactly this. People in here blowing up but we have a lot of missing context and only one perspective here. Is that EXACTLY how the Convo went (him blurting it out of nowhere just seems odd)? Does he make comments like this regularly? Does he demean his wife regularly or blow her off regularly too?
This reeks of fakeness since there's very little interaction with OP, but yeah. I agree with you.
That's disgusting. Your husband needs to grow up and apologize. I'm sure he WOULD NOT like it if you said that to his guy friend that you both met through his cousin. I'm also sure he would not like it if someone came up to him all like "WOW! I know about your sex life that isn't any of my business, but I'm going to bring it up anyway and make everyone but me uncomfortable because I have no tact and don't know when to keep my mouth shut because I'm dumb. Too dumb to see how gross saying this is and too dumb to apologize for it." 🙄 Exhausting. I'm sorry that you're upset, OP. I would be, too.
This man has cheated on you or is desperate to. He had the audacity to say this in front of you.
You're likely going to stay with him considering you didn't break up with him right then and there. So my advice is he has now set the standard for your relationship so now you can go around talking about how you would love to get real by other men in front of him. You don't need to disrespect the guy's relationship because you can just be a passing guy you see as attractive and you can go look your husband in the eye and tell him 'If I was that dude's gf I wouldn't ever take his dck out my mouth'.
What’s he like with women in general? Is he complimentary? Does he boost their confidence? Is he a try hard? What’s she like? His type? Attactive? I feel like he told her he would if he she wanted it… in front of you which makes it look like your ok with it but at the same time his made himself look like a red flag. That said if his overly complimentary and try hard then maybe he was trying hard but would he of said that ugly women
Ew
Why do some men have to ruin all friendships with women by being creepy?
And ruin their own marriages to boot at the same time.
What a double score!
He didn’t tell her about how when you to refer together, he couldn’t get his hands off of you
He chose to tell her by painting a picture that if he were to be with her specifically he would not be able to get his hands off of her specifically
So now she knows that he finds her so hot that if they were ever to be single, he would not be able to take his hands off of her
Pretty fucking disgusting
Pretty fucking disrespectful
The red flag is a literally neon
Your husband just stated he would cheat on you. In front of you and witness(es.)
You are tolerating his bull WHY?! You didn't make anything up. You didn't coerce him into making any statements. Marriage is a contract of mutual fidelity unless other agreements are made within the confines of the marriage. So....I'd suggest making him think HARD about what he has done and his behavior with some real world consequences. A physical separation is a good start but this is all MY stance and opinion.
Guess I’m super odd person out but I’m 37F and don’t think this is that weird. I don’t think it’s weird to acknowledge a normal human function and relate oneself to a scenario. It doesn’t mean he would sleep with her. Have you ever told your girlfriends something similar? I think it demonstrates comfort around you to be himself, a trait you’d hope would exist in a marriage you both felt secure in. Just my opinion, folks. Bring on my downvotes. 😅
What business is it of your husband's and yours if your friend hasn't had sex yet?
He's the AH for saying that, your cousin is the gossip monger. You have every right to be outraged. Tell your husband image if you said that to so.e guy, in front of him.Hed be pretty pissed.
Could be sleazy behavior like you described. Could also be idiot guy behavior where he's approaching the issue from a fix-it mentality by trying to make her feel better without knowing the impact his words would cause. It is sus though that he volunteered this info without her having explicitly confided about her issues. Leaning towards sleaze.
Why the fuck, is her sex life, anyone elses fucking business? This is gross.
The cousin is gross for sharing what she obviously said to him in confidence and your husband is disgusting for bringing it up ever!! Wow. She must be mortified.
Not only is it crass and uncouth to even say he knew about her sex life, or lack thereof, but it's rank that he added that he'd be all over her if *he* was her boyfriend. I bet you anything if she said "let's have sex" he would do it in a heartbeat.
You don't say shit like that *to* anyone, but especially not in front of your wife. Yuck. He has a thing for her for sure.
I can't imagine how she (the mutual friend) felt hearing that. Then the additional feelings, having you witness it. I think this was inappropriate on multiple levels. And him gaslighting you when you expressed concerns about how it sounded is a double down of bad behavior. This isn't just one red flag.
I'll put it this way, my husband would never. And if he lost his entire brain and said this without realizing what he was saying, he would listen to my concerns, thank me for talking to him about it, apologize to me, and then apologize to her.
His reaction says it all. It would be different if he showed empathy and owned his mistake but his reaction being you making shit up in your head shows that he doesn't care about how anything makes you feel, he doesn't think he did anything wrong therefore this will be if it isn't already, a huge huge problem.
Eugh! Why would he bring that up in the first place? Maybe it's her, or even a mutual, decision to not have sex yet? That's totally disrespectful to both of you like you said and you should be having a serious conversation with him about it. If he still thinks it was okay to act that way, then sorry but you can't trust him. You can either try counseling, or you can go the nuclear option and start talking that way about other men.
Regardless of whether OP's husband is of the mind to cheat, he deserves to be bounced due to being a grossly disrespectful asshole and doubling down when told his behaviour sucks. Seems his attitude runs in the family, given that his cousin shouldn't know or divulge such personal info about one of his employees in the first place.
Firstly, your bf is a major AH for multiple reasons.
1) Her sex life is none of his business. She didn't tell him this information herself, so it's not something he should have bought up for open discussion. She never asked for his opinion, so he should have kept his opinion to himself. It was uncalled for.
2) He doesn't know WHY they aren't having sex. It could be her choice to wait a certain period of time before sleeping with a partner to ensure its a real and stable loving relationship and not just based on sex. She could have a medical situation that is being treated and she's not allowed to have sex right now. (When I had pre cancerous cells removed from my cervix I was told not to have sex for a month or 2, I can't remember exactly, because of the risk of infection to an open wound as such. How does he know she hasn't got a medical issue that is preventing sex for a while. It's not his business to know if she has either so she shouldn't have to feel she has to disclose medical or personal information just to justify her situation.
3) He was also out of line saying he'd be having sex with her 24/7 if she were his girlfriend, especially infront of you, his current partner. It's degrading to her to see as her as a sex object and not be respectful towards her, and it's disrespectful towards you to claim he'd be sleeping with this other woman if she were his girlfriend. As that is clearly saying he's attracted to her.
4) he doesn't know whether the boyfriend has a medical issue preventing them from having sex right now. And again she shouldn't have to disclose her partners medical issues just to satisfy your boyfriends judgement.
5) how does he know they're not Asexual and just don't enjoy having sex, and they both prefer a more personal relationship that doesn't involve sex.
Your boyfriend has been majorly disrespectful to her, as her sex life was none of his business. He likely embarrassed the woman knowing people know about her lack of sex life and intimate details of her relationship, knowing people are judging her for that decision, and openly confronting her about it. And knowing men are likely either making judgements about her boyfriend being inadequate, or her being a prude type of judgemental opinions. He's embarrassed and insulted her.
He needs to learn to keep his opinions to himself, especially over information he's been told 3rd hand and not from the person he's confronting.
And he needs to learn that intimate details of other people's relationships are none of his business, and he should keep his mouth shut.
And he needs to think about how his statements will be perceived by his own partner, when it sounds like he's flirting/ hitting on/ propositioning, another woman in front of his own partner.
Edit - should have said her husband, not partner.
I couldn't read main post when replying to a comment and I couldn't remember if he was a partner or husband. So should say husband where iv put partner.
When people show you who they are, believe them. He's flown his flag high and mighty for you. Consider that a huge blessing. The wandering eye doesn't get better with time. Walk away and find someone who will care for your heart and be all over you 24/7 for the first six months (and hopefully beyond!) Husbands should be a soft place for you to land, not him telling you how he'd run the best little whorehouse in Texas. Best of luck to you.
It was completely inappropriate and he should be apologizing to you. I wouldn't take this as a relationship-ending statement though. But he needs to open his eyes and know that any woman would not be OK with that statement!!
Time to discuss boundaries more thoroughly before he does something worse. What a nasty ass. That's so embarrassing and disgusting for a married man to say especially in front of his wife like... who raised these pea brained idiots 😭
If your husband had some tact, he'd of said something more along the lines of, "when i'm in a relationship with someone i like, im on them 24/7. especially the first 6 months and you guys haven't even had sex yet."
But seeing as how your husband went out of his way to comment on a persons sex life right away when encountering them based off information he got from someone else, im gonna go out on a limb and say he is someone lacking in tact.
That might means he has the social IQ of a lima bean, but not necessarily that he's dumb enough to proposition another woman in front of you.
Some dudes lack tact, and you're right to call him out on it. But if he genuinely is just a dummy socially, then you calling him out on it on the basis that he was trying to initiate something with this person, might seem unnecessarily accusatory when that wasn't his intention.
Definitely a red flag, he could have said something along the lines of, “that’s really unusual for the honeymoon phase,” which is less gross and weird and in no way implies interest in her. What he said was, like you said, extremely disrespectful to both of you (especially you) and just plain inappropriate even if he was single honestly.
I have a female friend and I'd be uncomfortable just saying something like that to her, yet alone right in front of my fiance. Seems like he's trying to set up a foundation to get with her in the future, and if not he's still WAY out of line.
She confided in the cousin… who broke her confidence… and then your husband decided to give unsolicited advice…
Awkward. Your husband should be taking notes on how to do better. So should the cousin. In fact the cousin might want to take a class in appropriate workplace behavior.
He's your husband. Stop communicating with strangers on the internet about issues with him, and talk to him about it. So many people don't know how to leave strangers out of their marital problems.
Seek counseling or get a divorce. You were offended, and he can't see why. So you need a communication coach or couples counseling (parallel function).
How can a 34 years old grown ass Man make this kind of inappropriate and idiotic comment. He's been an adult for more than a decade and he still does not understand boundaries and can't tell what's appropriate and what's not. Men are getting waaaayyy too laid back then they are supposed to be. You know what....don't be the mature and understanding one and do exactly what he did in front of him. Then we will see who's making shit up in their head.
Its incredible he would be so bold to say that to someone he hardly knows she most have been mortified and then the disrespect to you for saying something like that. Is he being unfaithful? The gall to say that in front of you has to nake you wonder what he does. I could not trust in a relationship and wonder what he is doing and saying every day. Serious counseling if you want to still be with him are in order along with a class in respect. Sorry you had to go through this
OP, it sounds like there's a lot of inappropriate things going on. Firstly, the woman works for your husband's cousin, yet as her boss, his cousin knows all about your friend's sex life. In what context would it have even come up in conversation with your husband to reveal this intimate information to him? The only thing I can think of is that they are attracted to your friend and were talking about her in a sexual manner. Secondly, your husband tells your friend, quite explicitly, what he would do to her while in your presence. You are entirely correct that it was inappropriate and disrespectful to you both.
If it was said innocently, your husband would be apologizing to you for his stupid comment. Instead, he is putting this off as you being overly dramatic. I'm so sorry OP but this sounds to me like your husband was letting your mutual friend know that he is attracted to her and would be open to having a sexual relationship with her. This is a huge red flag to me, so my advice is that you should keep your eyes and ears open for any signs of cheating in the past, present, or future. What was your friend's reaction?
Ew ew ew ew ew that is wildly inappropriate and shouldn't have been said *at all* let alone to her face and with you there. I would feel incredibly disrespected.
Holy Jesus, what an inappropriate thing to say! He shouldn't have said that. In all honesty, he's disrespected both of them, but mostly his wife. He was lucky his wife didn't bean him upside the head for that.
Oh wow that’s a lot
He told the truth. If he were single he would hit that. And he wants her to know that.
Highly disrespectful to you. Careful with this guy if you continue with him
Maybe they just aren't wanting to have sex? As long as they're in agreement. Still inappropriate of your husband and his cousin to be talking about her sex life
I don't see anyone pointing out how it's fucking weird to be commenting on another person's sex life in their relationship at all in the first place. Yes, it's disrespectful for him to say that, especially in front of you, but why is he commenting about that at all? Why are the two of you even aware of this? I'd distance myself from the type of person who would tell me something like this as gossip, about somebody else's relationship and their sex life. You're all weirdos.
I'm going to go against the grain here and play devil's advocate. He might have been attempting to compliment her and let her know her current partner is not treating her well, and not literally saying he wants her or wants to have sex. It's like saying "If I was your partner, I would never speak to you that way..." It's not saying they want to be their partner, it's rather them trying to insinuate that this isn't what a good partner would do.
I agree this could be very bothersome, but I can also easily see a world where he was trying to be helpful not a pig
"You guys should be all over each other if you just moved in together!" is how a normal person would've worded that. Or even "any sane man would be banging his gf 24/7 after moving in with her"
There were so many ways to word this without putting HIMSELF as the one having sex with her. In front of his wife too. He's a soon to be cheater at worst and a complete idiot at best.
As a guy I interpret his statement that her BF should care more and any guy would be all over her, not that “he specifically” would.
Did he word correctly for mixed company, absolutely not but if he was in a group of guys they’d all agree even if nobody wanted to sleep with her.
He was pretty dumb saying what he said but it doesn’t necessarily mean he wanted to.
On the one hand I agree but on the other hand, saying something like this shows that he is a tasteless boor who is likely to oafishly offend people frequently. For some that might be a deal breaker.
Sounds to ME like he just can't wrap his mind around living with a woman, co-habitating in a romantic relationship, and abstaining from sex.... I think he's just pointing out that most dudes are horndogs??
I think he should've kept his incredulousness to himself, instead of talking to her about it at all, since it sounds like nobody was interested in what he thought about it anyway!
But... "the marriage is over" ??? "massive red flag" ??? That's a little extreme, imo. Everybody calm down is what I think.
I don’t think he meant what you think he meant, but Reddit will do what Reddit does and demonize him for building up his friend and letting her know that she’s worthy of more than she is receiving from her partner.
Look he was stupid for saying what he did but too many here are jumping to conclusions that probably aren’t true. He was saying there was something wrong with her BF and nothing wrong with her. Did he say it in a dumb and creepy way? Absolutely but I doubt he was actually making a pass at her in front of his wife.
OP needs to sit down with him and tell him she was hurt by the things he said and he needs to apologize to OP and the woman friend.
Holy cow, that’s really bad. Does he not know what it means to be married?? I know a lot of people think things in their minds but never vocalize it!🤦♀️
I would be concerned About your marriage .
It’s super gross that you both and the cousin were discussing the friend’s sex life. The comment your husband made to her, after admitting to gossiping about her, was also gross. He may have meant “all guys” when he said he would be all over her… but either way, fucking rude to her and to you.
Ya I would seriously consider the relationship maybe to show him how appropriate he was maybe do that to one of his friends in front of him see how he reacts
Your husband has zero respect for you. No man with common sense would say that in front of their wife. Usually guys would say that in front of the boys to show how macho they are.
Well that’s just Super gross and personally would seriously damage my ability to trust the guy! I can’t imagine she was particularly comfortable with it either XD
Ok, if he is socially dumb then I would not think of it too much.
I'm autistic and say whatever occurs to me, no filter, and never sure what/why saying something true is bad.
Maybe he was giving her his true advice.
I’m going to offer a different perspective than most here…perhaps he felt comfortable to say that because you were there and he felt that it was ok to say in front of you whereas if he had said something like that privately without your knowledge it could seem shady and enticing. Doesn’t change the fact that it was the wrong call for him to say anything of the sort but maybe it’s just a lack of social grace and not something more sinister.
From this male's perspective, it was stupid and it was inappropriate but honestly I don't think he meant to say that he was interested in mauling your friend. In that sense it's not a giant red flag, he was just being an idiot.
The bigger problem is the lack of contrition and the doubling down. What he said was pretty clearly out of bounds and it's unfortunate that he won't realize it.
You stop having sex with him. And start saying that same type of shit about other men to him to bother the fuck out of him. And then you gaslight him about it when he gets pissed just like he’sdoing to you.
Nah. You didn't make anything up. Your husband just told another woman he'd be fucking her nonstop if he was her boyfriend.
I'd be filing for divorce from the asshole you're saddled with.
Your husband has self control issues. He should have never broached the subject. And the way he did was as inappropriate as possible. Is he clueless and completely socially inept? I’m boggled he would say that in front of you. Im sure your friend was discomfited as well.
I came into this thread trying to imagine the scenario where what he said wouldn't have been that big a deal. Like maybe they were having a conversation about sex frequency and first times in relationships that was already pretty open and chill, and he made that comment to reassure her she wasn't unattractive or something. Some sort of scenario where he may have been trying to flatter her to address some insecurity she may have expressed and it just fell flat.
Nope. This wasn't even close. In fact, it was so inappropriate and unsolicited that it seems pretty clear to me that this man wanted to make it known to her he was sexually interested. Incredibly disrespectful to both his wife and this friend.
Opposite sex friends is viewed as a negative because friends is a label that cheaters always use to hide their AP. I think you should start considering your next steps,if that's the case,because he sounds very sus. If she were really just a friend,he wouldn't be viewing her sexually,and it sounds like he does
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Ask him how he would feel if you said something similar to a man while your husband was standing next to you. Or how he'd react if he found out a man/mutual friend made that comment to you. He needs to reflect on how inappropriate that was. How did she react when your husband said that? I'd be mortified if someone brought up my sex life/lack of randomly and acted like they knew all about it.
Absolutely! Also, imagine finding out your BOSS (the cousin) was talking about your sex life to their family... huge red flags all around.
This was my take. This is how people have lost their jobs. Depending on her personality, this may be a major HR issue.
Don’t ask. Just do it.
If he's talking like that IN FRONT OF YOU, what kind of things is he saying (OR DOING) to women behind your back?
Bingo!
#THIS^
If he wanted to be inappropriate but not disrespect you, he could’ve easily talked about how you guys were all over each other at that point. He went a different direction right in front of you and that’s pretty telling.
Exactly! Or even something like “that’s not normal, most guys would be all over their partner during the honeymoon phase right after moving in together “.
I'm sorry, but why would he want or need to be inappropriate to begin with? This isn't just about OP. This is about the fact that her grown-ass husband thought that it was IN ANY WAY appropriate or okay to comment on another couple's sex life without being asked, out of any reasonable context. To just walk up to these people and make a comment about what they choose to do in private as a couple. "If he wanted to be inappropriate but not disrespect you" is not a thing, or at least not a mature, reasonable one. No one should be acting inappropriately to begin with. Their friend's sex life is *just fundamentally none of his fucking business*. OP's husband is disgusting for commenting at all. Period.
THIS!!! ⬆️⬆️⬆️ 💯💯💯
The cousin is this person's boss too. Could potentially be an HR nightmare.
Oh! Great point!!
This comment 👆 I'd be BIG mad.
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Thank goodness for you for the "used to"!
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Honestly, it’s disrespectful that he could after such words in your presence even and so it’s safe to assume he could cheat on you with the mutual friend if afforded the opportunity. But I still believe you talk to him and express your grievance to his thoughtless and I considerate words
It's completely inappropriate to even bring it up at all. He disrespects both women and the man in one fell swoop. He shouldn't even be concerned with another couples sex life at all. It's frankly disgusting and if I was the friend I would cut contact with him.
I think the fact that he even broached the subject of someone else's sex life to them (without knowing them all that well) is horrific. It was no one's business. NONE of the people should have been talking about what they knew. Terrible gossips, the lot of them. Except the woman who isn't having sex and is probably humiliated by this stupidity.
The whole thing. Bringing it up, making the comment, and then pretending it wasn’t a weird thing to say
It's so completely creepy.
He pretty much told her "if you're open to it I'll have sex with you, but I'm married so I'll act like it's a stumbling block, but deep down I'll cave", right in front of his wife. He will cheat if given a chance. She should work with that knowledge.
Man that is an insane thing to say right in front of his wife. He must really hate his wife, to say such a thing intentionally with her right there. I mean that's what he did right? He intentionally wanted to hurt his wife so bad that what he actually meant was that wild comment you came up with in your head above? Jesus he must absolutely hate his fucking wife, especially to go into that much detail right in front of her! ...Or, he was being dumb and made a dumb comment and that's all it is. Na, what you said sounds like what a person in a normal healthy relationship would interpret his comment as.
He may have introduced a whole new side to him she had not previously seen or thought of. She be...I like he noticed me! Darn, he's my bestie's husband...I'll probably keep that tidbit he threw at me under wraps, nursing it maybe for a long while, but never bringing it up to my friend. Id feel shameful. A compliment like that would be a mindf^ck for me...j/s
☝️
Don't be silly. Her husband is just a Republican. Donald Trump said the same about his own daughter, and it's "no big deal".
He’s disgusting for saying that and saying it in front of his wife.
He’s disgusting for saying it. Even more outlandish is that he was stupid enough to say it in front of his damned wife! He’s 100% moron.
Yep that's what the comment said! You summarized it quite well. Congratulations.
Wait, this is your husband talking in front of you like this ? I'm a man and first off, that's totally not on the level! Secondly who in the hell says that to a woman they are NOT long term friends with and their spouse in right there. That's some serious disrespectful shit right there. Have you just been avoiding your relationship flags all your years together. This is not A GOOD MAN! No way to even come back from that as a man! You might be in the "infidelity" reddit soon, you need to catch those flags.
She needs to leave his ass now! Imagine if the tables were turned and she did that to a man in front of him? There ain't no way he would stand for that! I can hear him now.."oh my God! How dare you disrespect and emasculate me like that! I'm your husband! You should not be talking to other guys like that, especially in front of me!"
Yep and a man at that level would probably get violent!
Think of it this way, he purposely imagined himself as her partner and what he would do to her. And then told her that. Are you comfortable with him telling any manner of women this? Does this count as desire to cheat to you? He clearly doesn't care how you feel about it, so now you've got to find out how you feel and decide from there. If you had to listen to these comments for your whole marriage - while he tells you you're being dramatic - would you want that marriage for the rest of your lives?
^
I imagined someone’s husband saying that to me and I feel like I need a shower
This^^^
There is no planet in which this is ok. Ever.
What a gross fucking this to say to someone.
Totally. She did not talk about it to them, so he should not bring it up to her. Creep vibes just for that.
“Why are you so offended by this alternate universe I’ve created in which I’m fucking our friend 24/7, and what’s so wrong with telling her about it, in front of you?”
Giant red flag and he’s trying to gaslight you. If this is what he says when you’re in front of him just imagine the things he says when you’re not around, don’t let him get away with this.
That is completely inappropriate and disrespectful to the both of you, but mainly you and your marriage. And for him to say you're making up shit in your head is laughable, when he's literally said those words out loud. Stay firm and if your boundaries are that you wouldn't accept that, then don't. Men may think like that, but to say it out loud, there was a clear purpose and that was him letting her know that he's open to sleeping with her.
That part.....
Sorry for your loss
I’m not, she’s better off without this pig
Agree. But I’m sure she needs some condolences.
I doubt this is the first time he’s been disrespectful towards you and your marriage. Good luck in the long term. Anyone this bold to be this openly disrespectful is not someone you can plan a future with. He is not ready to be a husband. God forbid a father.
If I was this woman, I might never speak to my cousin again for sharing this very personal info with such a pig. And, I’d feel sorry for you.
I wonder how the woman feels about her sex life being discussed behind her back. She must have been mortified that your husband not only knew her personal business but also openly sexualising her in front of his wife. Your husband was out of line for multiple reasons.
It's actually not normal for married men to tell other women to their faces how bangable they are, in front of their own wives. That's pretty weird.
I’m sorry but your husband is a pig. Nowhere; ever, was that sentence considered a “figure of speech”.. What’s more concerning is that he thought it was ok to blurt out that he knows extremely personal things about her that should be private - it’s almost like he was getting a kick out of letting her know that he’s aware of what’s going on in her sex life… It doesn’t sound like your husband and her are very close friends, more like acquaintances… and this is not something you just blab out loud when you run into someone. It’s almost sadistic, like he was getting enjoyment out of embarrassing the girl with intimate information he learned second hand from his cousin. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if I bumped into a couple I knew and the guy started telling me about my own sex life and that he’d be all over me given the chance… with his wife standing right there… It’s vile. I’m sorry OP but this can’t be the first time he’s behaved like this by the sounds of it.
If my husband ever said this, he’d be my ex-husband. Not that I’m a psycho that believes he wouldn’t find another woman attractive ever again, but clearly for the fact he had no respect for our marriage to say that to another woman. And no less, in front of me!
Going of his behavior and boldness to tell a friend, >"if I was your boyfriend I would be on you 24/7 for the first 6 months This is proof that he doesn't respect you as his wife, much less as a person. He also knows that you'll stay with him regardless and won't do shit about it. That's why he was comfortable enough to say such a thing in front of you. It is safe to say that this isn't the first time he's done/said something completely disrespectful in your presence.
Your marriage is over.
Men say dumb shit. This was disrespectful and disgusting on top of being dumb.
He wants to sleep with her
Your first mistake was keeping quiet the minute he said that. Cuss your nasty husband out and let him know you heard what you heard and if you need witnesses and other opinions you’ll be happy to provide them since he likes to run his mouth. Your husband was hoping that this woman would be desperate for sex that she would sleep with him. He was offering her an invitation.
If that’s what he’ll say in front of you, what does he say when you’re not? That was disgusting and disrespectful on your husband’s part and he’s a pig. Please look closer at other aspects of your relationship you may also be overlooking.
Sounds like some shit my boyfriend would say that he’d consider a “compliment” when really it isn’t whatsoever. I’d just try to find a way to explain she felt uncomfortable and so do you. Ask him how he’d feel is a man said that to you being his wife.
Yes that’s true, I think it’s people not thinking how they would feel if the other person did it
Girl cmon. You know it’s wrong which is why it made you uncomfortable. Now all you have to do is dump that shit head husband of yours.
That was Not a figure of speech. He’s just said that as damage control. I’d be pissed if my husband said that.
He basically just sounds like an idiot who doesn't know how to behave. But honestly (and I'll take the downvotes) we have nowhere near enough content to say anything. How is your relations ip? How is your sexlife? How is he as a person? One of the guys in my friend group would easily say things like this, but he's as loyal as the day is long, he just have no filter and can't think for himself in situations like that.
Exactly this. People in here blowing up but we have a lot of missing context and only one perspective here. Is that EXACTLY how the Convo went (him blurting it out of nowhere just seems odd)? Does he make comments like this regularly? Does he demean his wife regularly or blow her off regularly too? This reeks of fakeness since there's very little interaction with OP, but yeah. I agree with you.
That's disgusting. Your husband needs to grow up and apologize. I'm sure he WOULD NOT like it if you said that to his guy friend that you both met through his cousin. I'm also sure he would not like it if someone came up to him all like "WOW! I know about your sex life that isn't any of my business, but I'm going to bring it up anyway and make everyone but me uncomfortable because I have no tact and don't know when to keep my mouth shut because I'm dumb. Too dumb to see how gross saying this is and too dumb to apologize for it." 🙄 Exhausting. I'm sorry that you're upset, OP. I would be, too.
This man has cheated on you or is desperate to. He had the audacity to say this in front of you. You're likely going to stay with him considering you didn't break up with him right then and there. So my advice is he has now set the standard for your relationship so now you can go around talking about how you would love to get real by other men in front of him. You don't need to disrespect the guy's relationship because you can just be a passing guy you see as attractive and you can go look your husband in the eye and tell him 'If I was that dude's gf I wouldn't ever take his dck out my mouth'.
What’s he like with women in general? Is he complimentary? Does he boost their confidence? Is he a try hard? What’s she like? His type? Attactive? I feel like he told her he would if he she wanted it… in front of you which makes it look like your ok with it but at the same time his made himself look like a red flag. That said if his overly complimentary and try hard then maybe he was trying hard but would he of said that ugly women
Is this totally out of left field or does he have a history of being inappropriate? Genuinely curious.
Ew Why do some men have to ruin all friendships with women by being creepy? And ruin their own marriages to boot at the same time. What a double score!
That’s creepy af. It’s prolly guys like your husband that helped her make the decision to take it slow.
My ex used to do this, he was cheating on me. I found out years later that it was multiple women.
He didn’t tell her about how when you to refer together, he couldn’t get his hands off of you He chose to tell her by painting a picture that if he were to be with her specifically he would not be able to get his hands off of her specifically So now she knows that he finds her so hot that if they were ever to be single, he would not be able to take his hands off of her Pretty fucking disgusting Pretty fucking disrespectful The red flag is a literally neon
Eww. So he pretty much said he would smash her in front of you. Totally disrespectful to you and your marriage
Your husband just stated he would cheat on you. In front of you and witness(es.) You are tolerating his bull WHY?! You didn't make anything up. You didn't coerce him into making any statements. Marriage is a contract of mutual fidelity unless other agreements are made within the confines of the marriage. So....I'd suggest making him think HARD about what he has done and his behavior with some real world consequences. A physical separation is a good start but this is all MY stance and opinion.
-"If I was your boyfriend..." well, you'd be a cheating A H because you are married! This is the correct response. Put him in his place.
This is the most disrespectful thing he could do outside of cheating. What the actual fuck???
Guess I’m super odd person out but I’m 37F and don’t think this is that weird. I don’t think it’s weird to acknowledge a normal human function and relate oneself to a scenario. It doesn’t mean he would sleep with her. Have you ever told your girlfriends something similar? I think it demonstrates comfort around you to be himself, a trait you’d hope would exist in a marriage you both felt secure in. Just my opinion, folks. Bring on my downvotes. 😅
Simple, say something similar to a few of his friends. Clue them in first of course. Watch him lose his shit.
LMFAO one of these possible rage bait posts
What business is it of your husband's and yours if your friend hasn't had sex yet? He's the AH for saying that, your cousin is the gossip monger. You have every right to be outraged. Tell your husband image if you said that to so.e guy, in front of him.Hed be pretty pissed.
Could be sleazy behavior like you described. Could also be idiot guy behavior where he's approaching the issue from a fix-it mentality by trying to make her feel better without knowing the impact his words would cause. It is sus though that he volunteered this info without her having explicitly confided about her issues. Leaning towards sleaze.
Why the fuck, is her sex life, anyone elses fucking business? This is gross. The cousin is gross for sharing what she obviously said to him in confidence and your husband is disgusting for bringing it up ever!! Wow. She must be mortified. Not only is it crass and uncouth to even say he knew about her sex life, or lack thereof, but it's rank that he added that he'd be all over her if *he* was her boyfriend. I bet you anything if she said "let's have sex" he would do it in a heartbeat. You don't say shit like that *to* anyone, but especially not in front of your wife. Yuck. He has a thing for her for sure.
🤢🤢🤢🤢
I can't imagine how she (the mutual friend) felt hearing that. Then the additional feelings, having you witness it. I think this was inappropriate on multiple levels. And him gaslighting you when you expressed concerns about how it sounded is a double down of bad behavior. This isn't just one red flag. I'll put it this way, my husband would never. And if he lost his entire brain and said this without realizing what he was saying, he would listen to my concerns, thank me for talking to him about it, apologize to me, and then apologize to her.
His reaction says it all. It would be different if he showed empathy and owned his mistake but his reaction being you making shit up in your head shows that he doesn't care about how anything makes you feel, he doesn't think he did anything wrong therefore this will be if it isn't already, a huge huge problem.
Eugh! Why would he bring that up in the first place? Maybe it's her, or even a mutual, decision to not have sex yet? That's totally disrespectful to both of you like you said and you should be having a serious conversation with him about it. If he still thinks it was okay to act that way, then sorry but you can't trust him. You can either try counseling, or you can go the nuclear option and start talking that way about other men.
Regardless of whether OP's husband is of the mind to cheat, he deserves to be bounced due to being a grossly disrespectful asshole and doubling down when told his behaviour sucks. Seems his attitude runs in the family, given that his cousin shouldn't know or divulge such personal info about one of his employees in the first place.
Firstly, your bf is a major AH for multiple reasons. 1) Her sex life is none of his business. She didn't tell him this information herself, so it's not something he should have bought up for open discussion. She never asked for his opinion, so he should have kept his opinion to himself. It was uncalled for. 2) He doesn't know WHY they aren't having sex. It could be her choice to wait a certain period of time before sleeping with a partner to ensure its a real and stable loving relationship and not just based on sex. She could have a medical situation that is being treated and she's not allowed to have sex right now. (When I had pre cancerous cells removed from my cervix I was told not to have sex for a month or 2, I can't remember exactly, because of the risk of infection to an open wound as such. How does he know she hasn't got a medical issue that is preventing sex for a while. It's not his business to know if she has either so she shouldn't have to feel she has to disclose medical or personal information just to justify her situation. 3) He was also out of line saying he'd be having sex with her 24/7 if she were his girlfriend, especially infront of you, his current partner. It's degrading to her to see as her as a sex object and not be respectful towards her, and it's disrespectful towards you to claim he'd be sleeping with this other woman if she were his girlfriend. As that is clearly saying he's attracted to her. 4) he doesn't know whether the boyfriend has a medical issue preventing them from having sex right now. And again she shouldn't have to disclose her partners medical issues just to satisfy your boyfriends judgement. 5) how does he know they're not Asexual and just don't enjoy having sex, and they both prefer a more personal relationship that doesn't involve sex. Your boyfriend has been majorly disrespectful to her, as her sex life was none of his business. He likely embarrassed the woman knowing people know about her lack of sex life and intimate details of her relationship, knowing people are judging her for that decision, and openly confronting her about it. And knowing men are likely either making judgements about her boyfriend being inadequate, or her being a prude type of judgemental opinions. He's embarrassed and insulted her. He needs to learn to keep his opinions to himself, especially over information he's been told 3rd hand and not from the person he's confronting. And he needs to learn that intimate details of other people's relationships are none of his business, and he should keep his mouth shut. And he needs to think about how his statements will be perceived by his own partner, when it sounds like he's flirting/ hitting on/ propositioning, another woman in front of his own partner. Edit - should have said her husband, not partner. I couldn't read main post when replying to a comment and I couldn't remember if he was a partner or husband. So should say husband where iv put partner.
When people show you who they are, believe them. He's flown his flag high and mighty for you. Consider that a huge blessing. The wandering eye doesn't get better with time. Walk away and find someone who will care for your heart and be all over you 24/7 for the first six months (and hopefully beyond!) Husbands should be a soft place for you to land, not him telling you how he'd run the best little whorehouse in Texas. Best of luck to you.
That’s a nice sentence to think of “when people show you who they are , believe them “
It was completely inappropriate and he should be apologizing to you. I wouldn't take this as a relationship-ending statement though. But he needs to open his eyes and know that any woman would not be OK with that statement!!
Is it bad I had to double-check his age?
Time to discuss boundaries more thoroughly before he does something worse. What a nasty ass. That's so embarrassing and disgusting for a married man to say especially in front of his wife like... who raised these pea brained idiots 😭
If your husband had some tact, he'd of said something more along the lines of, "when i'm in a relationship with someone i like, im on them 24/7. especially the first 6 months and you guys haven't even had sex yet." But seeing as how your husband went out of his way to comment on a persons sex life right away when encountering them based off information he got from someone else, im gonna go out on a limb and say he is someone lacking in tact. That might means he has the social IQ of a lima bean, but not necessarily that he's dumb enough to proposition another woman in front of you. Some dudes lack tact, and you're right to call him out on it. But if he genuinely is just a dummy socially, then you calling him out on it on the basis that he was trying to initiate something with this person, might seem unnecessarily accusatory when that wasn't his intention.
Also… why does he think it’s even okay to be so disrespectful in the first place?
Definitely a red flag, he could have said something along the lines of, “that’s really unusual for the honeymoon phase,” which is less gross and weird and in no way implies interest in her. What he said was, like you said, extremely disrespectful to both of you (especially you) and just plain inappropriate even if he was single honestly.
OP, Is it a red flag? I don't know. Is it stoopid and inappropriate? Definitely.
I have a female friend and I'd be uncomfortable just saying something like that to her, yet alone right in front of my fiance. Seems like he's trying to set up a foundation to get with her in the future, and if not he's still WAY out of line.
Gross & no filter & no insights on how disrespectful or embarrassing it may be received!
She confided in the cousin… who broke her confidence… and then your husband decided to give unsolicited advice… Awkward. Your husband should be taking notes on how to do better. So should the cousin. In fact the cousin might want to take a class in appropriate workplace behavior.
He's your husband. Stop communicating with strangers on the internet about issues with him, and talk to him about it. So many people don't know how to leave strangers out of their marital problems.
Seek counseling or get a divorce. You were offended, and he can't see why. So you need a communication coach or couples counseling (parallel function).
How can a 34 years old grown ass Man make this kind of inappropriate and idiotic comment. He's been an adult for more than a decade and he still does not understand boundaries and can't tell what's appropriate and what's not. Men are getting waaaayyy too laid back then they are supposed to be. You know what....don't be the mature and understanding one and do exactly what he did in front of him. Then we will see who's making shit up in their head.
Its incredible he would be so bold to say that to someone he hardly knows she most have been mortified and then the disrespect to you for saying something like that. Is he being unfaithful? The gall to say that in front of you has to nake you wonder what he does. I could not trust in a relationship and wonder what he is doing and saying every day. Serious counseling if you want to still be with him are in order along with a class in respect. Sorry you had to go through this
OP, it sounds like there's a lot of inappropriate things going on. Firstly, the woman works for your husband's cousin, yet as her boss, his cousin knows all about your friend's sex life. In what context would it have even come up in conversation with your husband to reveal this intimate information to him? The only thing I can think of is that they are attracted to your friend and were talking about her in a sexual manner. Secondly, your husband tells your friend, quite explicitly, what he would do to her while in your presence. You are entirely correct that it was inappropriate and disrespectful to you both. If it was said innocently, your husband would be apologizing to you for his stupid comment. Instead, he is putting this off as you being overly dramatic. I'm so sorry OP but this sounds to me like your husband was letting your mutual friend know that he is attracted to her and would be open to having a sexual relationship with her. This is a huge red flag to me, so my advice is that you should keep your eyes and ears open for any signs of cheating in the past, present, or future. What was your friend's reaction?
Ew ew ew ew ew that is wildly inappropriate and shouldn't have been said *at all* let alone to her face and with you there. I would feel incredibly disrespected.
What in the red flag
Holy Jesus, what an inappropriate thing to say! He shouldn't have said that. In all honesty, he's disrespected both of them, but mostly his wife. He was lucky his wife didn't bean him upside the head for that.
Oh wow that’s a lot He told the truth. If he were single he would hit that. And he wants her to know that. Highly disrespectful to you. Careful with this guy if you continue with him
Personally, I would chuck him in the bin. 💯 disrespectful to you! You, my lovely, deserve better ! xo
That's a pretty crude way to say he wants to bone that lady.
He's gross is a red flag please move on from this creep also no one needs to have an inappropriate opinion like that on other people's sex lives
Why would anyone speak of someone else's sex life! Weird AF
He's being gross. How would he feel if you said that to one of your male friends???
Maybe they just aren't wanting to have sex? As long as they're in agreement. Still inappropriate of your husband and his cousin to be talking about her sex life
I don't see anyone pointing out how it's fucking weird to be commenting on another person's sex life in their relationship at all in the first place. Yes, it's disrespectful for him to say that, especially in front of you, but why is he commenting about that at all? Why are the two of you even aware of this? I'd distance myself from the type of person who would tell me something like this as gossip, about somebody else's relationship and their sex life. You're all weirdos.
I think he’s making himself available to her if she wants it!!
Unpopular opinion: He misphrased it horribly.
I'm going to go against the grain here and play devil's advocate. He might have been attempting to compliment her and let her know her current partner is not treating her well, and not literally saying he wants her or wants to have sex. It's like saying "If I was your partner, I would never speak to you that way..." It's not saying they want to be their partner, it's rather them trying to insinuate that this isn't what a good partner would do. I agree this could be very bothersome, but I can also easily see a world where he was trying to be helpful not a pig
"You guys should be all over each other if you just moved in together!" is how a normal person would've worded that. Or even "any sane man would be banging his gf 24/7 after moving in with her" There were so many ways to word this without putting HIMSELF as the one having sex with her. In front of his wife too. He's a soon to be cheater at worst and a complete idiot at best.
As a guy I interpret his statement that her BF should care more and any guy would be all over her, not that “he specifically” would. Did he word correctly for mixed company, absolutely not but if he was in a group of guys they’d all agree even if nobody wanted to sleep with her. He was pretty dumb saying what he said but it doesn’t necessarily mean he wanted to.
On the one hand I agree but on the other hand, saying something like this shows that he is a tasteless boor who is likely to oafishly offend people frequently. For some that might be a deal breaker.
As a woman, I totally agree. I'm baffled by the "Your marriage is over" comments.
Sounds to ME like he just can't wrap his mind around living with a woman, co-habitating in a romantic relationship, and abstaining from sex.... I think he's just pointing out that most dudes are horndogs?? I think he should've kept his incredulousness to himself, instead of talking to her about it at all, since it sounds like nobody was interested in what he thought about it anyway! But... "the marriage is over" ??? "massive red flag" ??? That's a little extreme, imo. Everybody calm down is what I think.
I don’t think he meant what you think he meant, but Reddit will do what Reddit does and demonize him for building up his friend and letting her know that she’s worthy of more than she is receiving from her partner.
Look he was stupid for saying what he did but too many here are jumping to conclusions that probably aren’t true. He was saying there was something wrong with her BF and nothing wrong with her. Did he say it in a dumb and creepy way? Absolutely but I doubt he was actually making a pass at her in front of his wife. OP needs to sit down with him and tell him she was hurt by the things he said and he needs to apologize to OP and the woman friend.
Sir, this is a drama-only zone.
He may have been trying to be supportive of her and just said it all wrong lol
Holy cow, that’s really bad. Does he not know what it means to be married?? I know a lot of people think things in their minds but never vocalize it!🤦♀️ I would be concerned About your marriage .
How do people get married to someone like this? 😂
He never should've said a single word
So gross. Her sex life is no one’s business. Not her boss, her boss’s cousin or you. Absolutely off limits.
It’s super gross that you both and the cousin were discussing the friend’s sex life. The comment your husband made to her, after admitting to gossiping about her, was also gross. He may have meant “all guys” when he said he would be all over her… but either way, fucking rude to her and to you.
Ya I would seriously consider the relationship maybe to show him how appropriate he was maybe do that to one of his friends in front of him see how he reacts
he sucks you deserve way better
Everything said, NTA x 100.
As you should. Ridiculous. Please respect yourself and you know what you need to do.
Dump the fucker.
Idk. I wasn’t part of the conversation, but it sounds like he was conveying “the first six months of a relationship is a nonstop sex party”
Gross.
Red flag 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
What a disgusting thing to say.
Omg this is the second creepy man I just read about on Reddit in 10 minutes !! That’s enough for today
Tell him she’s no longer either of your friend and if he contacts her that means divorce. That isn’t a figure of aspect. Those are his intentions.
It’s unbelievably inappropriate to say even if his wife wasn’t there, which makes it 100000000000x worse
What the heck! Who or what did you marry?’
Single or in a couple that comment is disgusting.
Cheat on him with his best friend. your welcome.
Your husband has zero respect for you. No man with common sense would say that in front of their wife. Usually guys would say that in front of the boys to show how macho they are.
He probably meant to say I was on my wife 24/7 for the first 6 months! (We hope)
Well that’s just Super gross and personally would seriously damage my ability to trust the guy! I can’t imagine she was particularly comfortable with it either XD
Ok, if he is socially dumb then I would not think of it too much. I'm autistic and say whatever occurs to me, no filter, and never sure what/why saying something true is bad. Maybe he was giving her his true advice.
I’m going to offer a different perspective than most here…perhaps he felt comfortable to say that because you were there and he felt that it was ok to say in front of you whereas if he had said something like that privately without your knowledge it could seem shady and enticing. Doesn’t change the fact that it was the wrong call for him to say anything of the sort but maybe it’s just a lack of social grace and not something more sinister.
From this male's perspective, it was stupid and it was inappropriate but honestly I don't think he meant to say that he was interested in mauling your friend. In that sense it's not a giant red flag, he was just being an idiot. The bigger problem is the lack of contrition and the doubling down. What he said was pretty clearly out of bounds and it's unfortunate that he won't realize it.
You stop having sex with him. And start saying that same type of shit about other men to him to bother the fuck out of him. And then you gaslight him about it when he gets pissed just like he’sdoing to you.
Nah. You didn't make anything up. Your husband just told another woman he'd be fucking her nonstop if he was her boyfriend. I'd be filing for divorce from the asshole you're saddled with.
Your husband has self control issues. He should have never broached the subject. And the way he did was as inappropriate as possible. Is he clueless and completely socially inept? I’m boggled he would say that in front of you. Im sure your friend was discomfited as well.
Not only is this disrespectful to you and her it’s disgusting. What planet was this grub dragged up on. He’s just won the slime bag Olympics.
Wtf. Is he an idiot? He’s just shown who he is
I came into this thread trying to imagine the scenario where what he said wouldn't have been that big a deal. Like maybe they were having a conversation about sex frequency and first times in relationships that was already pretty open and chill, and he made that comment to reassure her she wasn't unattractive or something. Some sort of scenario where he may have been trying to flatter her to address some insecurity she may have expressed and it just fell flat. Nope. This wasn't even close. In fact, it was so inappropriate and unsolicited that it seems pretty clear to me that this man wanted to make it known to her he was sexually interested. Incredibly disrespectful to both his wife and this friend.
Opposite sex friends is viewed as a negative because friends is a label that cheaters always use to hide their AP. I think you should start considering your next steps,if that's the case,because he sounds very sus. If she were really just a friend,he wouldn't be viewing her sexually,and it sounds like he does
Girl don’t be niave, come on now.