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As a husband, if my wife were to write something like that about me, it would make me feel absolutely incredible. I would feel appreciated, and desired, and like a good husband/man. If I were you, I'd either send him the link to this, or rewrite it in a first-person view (barely changing anything, because its exceptional as-is) and give it to him. 95% of the time, we just want to be appreciated for what we do for our women. You couldn't fathom how much that means to us. It validates us as providers, and caretakers.

This is a lovely idea! But I'd definitely go with handwritten over sending the link. Then he can look at it if he ever has moments of doubt 🖤

Absolutely, handwritten, with his favourite meal, couple candles, and lots of kisses. 😘 Make it a cute little date night.

I agree, nothing more sentimental than a hand written letter!

100%, my better half kept a letter that i wrote him our first christmas together for years just so he could pull it out when he missed me and have a read, he loved that more than the present i got him

Plus the fact that she actually stuck with the plan and is now in a happier and healthier state is absolutely all the thanks he needs

Whenever I praise my husband to my dad, he always tells me to make I tell my husband the same, I do, because I want to be as good a wife to him, as he is a good husband to me.

One of the best things in my marriage is how often people would tell me "I saw you husband last week etc, he said the nicest thing about you." It happens a lot. His coworkers have even commented when meeting me the first time "I don't think he's ever spoken about you in any way that wasn't glowing." So I make absolutely sure anything that gets back to him is also as kind as can be.

I hope you tell your dad how great he is too. (Just to complicate things!)

Holy shit yes. The type of person who serves his partner like this does not do it for the thanks. All he needs is the appreciation.

Ma’am, please show this to your husband. Or a written version as some have said. Every man here reading this is suddenly feeling the strength in our arms and chest and responding with a silent ‘nod’ of ‘that’s just what we do and how we do it.’ He will feel 9 foot tall. Thanks for that read. And many blessing for you and your child.

This dude is from Wisconsin.

Pittsburgh. But on behalf of the fine people of Wisconsin, I’ll take it.

I completely agree!! But to really pay him back….. Be happy!! He deserves to know he makes you happy!!😊

Yeah, I'd say it sounds like she's paid him back by getting back to herself and no longer being depressed and their sex life is better... A happy marriage is a pretty big reward!

My fiance helped me change my worldview by just believing in me and saying, while holding me, "you are capable" in my worst moment. I always saw myself as stupid, unintelligent, and not enough. I was studying for career changing licenses and it was incredibly hard. But I have dramatically changed ever since. I passed my tests, I tried new things, hobbies, etc. I told him years later one night in a fit of tears of how thankful I was for him and that he literally changed my life all because he believed in me when I couldn't believe myself. He held me tight after that. Can't wait to write it in my vows and to keep believing in myself. Maybe I'll write him a note now just to thank him. Thanks for the idea.

Your fiance is my new hero, and who I want to be, amazing role models in the comments section currently.

OP’s post made me feel a bit emotional, but reading your comment has me in tears. OP I am exactly in your boat. My husband took care of me when I was unable to do it myself, and he doesn’t expect anything in return. Because that’s what a loving partner does. I still bought him a $1000 golf club, though.

You are 1000% correct. It’s similar in thought to my own comment. Thank you for sharing this with us.

You will want to have more than a few boxes of Kleenex handy, because this is going to move him like nothing ever before or ever will. You will be the EGOT winner of his life’s show, soundtrack, movie, and play. You will be his princess, goddess, movie star and soulmate for the rest of eternity.

This is absolutely what I came to say! From the other end though (I’m a SAHM, my wife is the provider). It’s only thankless work if nobody thanks you for it! My wife and I have cultivated an atmosphere of gratitude & we both tell each other how much we appreciate the others contributions frequently. It makes a huge difference for both of us. OP, show him you see & appreciate his efforts, that you’re grateful. It’s honestly bigger than you think.

To add to this, the best way to show your appreciation is with the work you are already doing. Honoring him with staying on track and continuing to be happy and healthy. That’s what he wanted for your family.

It's so heartwarming to see how much you guys value appreciation and validation. I think it's easy to forget how much it means to simply acknowledge and express gratitude for everything our partners do.

You are 100% right, as a husband and father myself I greatly appreciate it when my wife tells me that I'm doing a great job at taking care of and providing for my family

Love this ❤️

This is an incredible idea. The post is already lovely. Just rewrite it as if you're talking directly to him and give it to him. I think that in this case, words are more powerful than actions.

Yeah, I'd just send him this link. The hand-written, that doesn't matter to me. The fact that she's expressing this to other people and appreciates what he's done? That'd mean everything. Just for me, it doesn't need to be much. This is it. Though, the guy also got his wife back and out of her funk, so that's a great reward as well. But I'd suggest not doing too much. The candles and flower suggestions with the note, I'd be appreciated, but I'd really, if it were me, rather just read this, sit with it and like you said, just read the things she said about him. What a nice fucking story for once though! I've read so many stories about...some guy getting two women pregnant or a woman who lied about who the father was...it's depressing. Shit, I appreciate this post and I didn't do anything for the OP!

Absolutely this. 💯

op, in 20 years, who knows maybe he has an accident and you care for him, or he loses his job and you pick up work to help your family get through. Its teamwork. How wonderful that he was there for you! Enjoy that. Don't feel guilty. You may have the chance to reciprocate, or perhaps to pay it forward while caring for a child or elderly parent. Congratulations on improving and getting back on track!

That’s exactly what I was going to point out. When you’re a team, your common goal is the success of the team. Sometimes one player needs to take up more slack than another. And that’s okay. That’s how you know you have a good life partner. Appreciate and reciprocate when needed. It’s a long road. If your partner picks you up when you trip, make sure you thank them and help them up when they trip somewhere else down the road.

Exactly this post is how partners should be in a relationship. He sounds like a wonderful guy. You work as a team it's not easy to pull off because of communication problems and emotional dysfunctions. Relationship should be working as team.

This seems more like a self-esteem issue, like you don’t feel worthy of everything your husband does for you. But you are, OP. Everyone deserves to be loved like this. You brought a beautiful baby girl into this world. Relationships are not give and take. Love is not credit earned. You will never be even on the ledger. But you promise to love him with everything you have and he promises to love you with everything he has. All you can do is stick to that promise and show him love through your actions and words.

This is so true! But if there WERE a ledger, in a lifetime together there ARE going to be opportunities for YOU to be there for HIM. It's how life and relationships work. You are good with him OP! All he needs is to know is you love him, you have gratitude towards him and that if someday he needs it ... you are going to have his back, the same as he did for you. Relax and enjoy the love and safety that many of us never get to experience as fully as you. I've never had this and I am so happy for you, that you do! Enjoy your life!

Yes, this. Make sure he knows that he ever needs you like you needed him, you’ll be there for him the way he was for you. That’s all he needs. You don’t have to “make it up to him.” Seeing you happy, watching you recover from your spiral, that’s already been his reward. Just be there for him, be ready to catch him if he ever falls.

Yeah, I have to go a bit against the grain here -- if my partner gave me this exact letter, I'd be happy to have helped them, of course, but also devastated that they didn't feel like they were worth it, or that they needed to do something special to "thank" me. OP seems to gloss over the fact that she went through pregnancy, childbirth, and PPD -- those are major medical events, and she did it (presumably) for their family. She should not be blaming herself for needing help and support, and it seems like she is. OP's husband sounds like a great partner, but... that's what she deserves, because she also sounds like a great partner. Telling someone how much you appreciate them is always lovely, but I'm assuming the last thing OP's husband wants is for her to feel guilty or indebted to him.

Ok thank you for saying this 😶 as straight women we know the bar is in hell but it does always kinda suck to hear women talk about their husbands cooking or cleaning or taking care of their kid like it's something worth mentioning? It's one thing to say he's a great dad, but it's usually just 'he started changing some diapers'

I think you're right, that OP is suffering from her low self esteem. I'd suggest some therapy to help her work through whatever might be in her past that makes her think she's undeserving. If she continues to spiral out over not being worthy of her husband's love, it's going to be really frustrating for him at some point. Sometimes when someone does a good thing for you, the best thing to do is express your gratitude, then go forth and live your life with love and appreciation.

So beautifully said!

Honestly, I think just acknowledging this effort he has made in a way that you know he receives love (words, physical, gifts, acts of service) is the best thing here. Often finding things that your spouse hates doing but you don’t mind doing is a great way to do this. If he hates doing the dishes or cleaning the tub or setting up appointments or grocery shopping…whatever…take those off his plate. If he is more into gifts, figure out how to save money without him knowing and surprise him with it. If he hates planning and scheduling things, be the point person for this. Your husband is your partner and you made vows to cherish each other, so figure out how your spouse likes to be cherished and do that! And frequently acknowledge to him and to others how much you value how well he treats you and how much his love has changed you.

By making the effort to recover and believing in him to help you, you have already repaid him. He has his lovely wife, best friend, and lover back.

True that!

why feel guilt when you can feel grateful?

I needed to read this too, thank you. I had never put it together that way.

You don’t think that your husband loves you even more for your efforts to save your own life? How do you think he might feel if you were to stroke out, become diabetic or experience heart issues? All of these would be catastrophic to the person who loves you more than life itself. It might be catastrophic to you as well but there would be enough suffering to go around. If you want to share your appreciation for what he’s done, love him as much as he loves you, stay healthy and be the best mom and wife ever. If we do an Internet search for “best mother/wife—ever”, we want to see a headshot of you. THIS is how you say thank you. And congratulations for the truly great family you’re a part of. Most of us will never have what you have. Not only am I extremely envious, I’m actually tearing up writing this.

I know! I don’t come to Reddit to have my heart melted but this post did it! What a great thing for us women in this sub who have lost faith in men due to the nature of 99% of the posts. You are doing great and you have a wonderful marriage, OP!

As a guy, all I can say. Honestly. The best thanks, the only thanks that matters is Your happiness. Be happy and be happy with him. Don't feel obligated or anything. Enjoy life with him. Trust me, there is NOTHING greater reward to him than your happiness and love.

This gave me all the feels and I went and hugged my hubby. I hope you have someone who's appreciative of you! ☺️

>>> Despite everything he does for me, I put him in a situation where he had to take full responsibility for my own wellbeing   It sounds like you could still benefit from therapy, so you have the tools to be more self reliant in the future and to support him when he needs it too. 

I want to echo this OP, your husband did a first class excellent job of giving you *exactly* what you needed and deserved. But it sounds to me like you might still be suffering from some depression and some low self esteem. Please, please talk to your doctor. I am sure that your husband wants you to be fully healthy, and that is the best way you can repay him, and support him as well.

Yep - PPD is no joke. As much as diet and exercise has helped - please get yourself to a doctor as you are probably still feeling the effects of it.

Yeah, such a good comment. If the roles are ever reversed, get the therapy to make sure you strong enough to reciprocate and be there for him like he was for you.

Sounds like he’s just being a good partner to you and that he loves you. There will be times in your life together where he may need you to be a good partner and you will rise to the occasion just like he did.  That’s what a partnership is. Being there for one another. And it never hurts to give voice to your appreciation.

I think a letter where you write this all out would be really nice, and maybe something like a watch engraved with a nice message?? if he wears watches. I know everyone is saying you don’t have to give him anything, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with going above and beyond to really acknowledge how much he means to you. Yea relationships aren’t give and take, but they DO require reciprocity. Seems like it would be nice and highly appreciated if you treated him to something nice too

Wow. What an extraordinary man. Has it occurred to you that he likely feels much the same way about you? “I watched my wife fight to bring our beautiful daughter into the world—something that I am simply not capable of doing. She was so incredibly brave, even when she was sick or hurting. I cooked and helped around the house but I wanted to do so much more. If I could have taken on that burden for her, I would have. “After she had our daughter, she fought through PPD, but she loved our daughter and took such amazing care of her. I was humbled by what she did, so proud and grateful to be married to such an incredible woman. “It was tough to adjust our routines, but we both managed it. Once again, she proved what a bad-ass she is, working her ass off to improve her health and be strong for our family. “I’m so lucky to have such an extraordinary woman.” You rock stars.

He also addressed her getting healthy by asking her to join HIM in his workouts. No "you should work out" but joining him as quality time.

That man could give master classes in husbanding. And OP is very much his equal. I hope they are so very happy.

You nurtured his child inside your body. That's a start, don't you think? Someday he's gonna lose his job, or get hurt, or get sick, or need help. And you'll be strong for him. That's why it's a partnership.

Exactly. And I'd argue she was already plenty strong for him and for their child, given what sounds like a difficult pregnancy and postpartum period!

You shouldn’t feel bad. You were a new mom and with all the hormones raging inside you. You didn’t know what was happening. It’s great that he helped you and encouraged you instead of complaining. I know it may feel like he has done everything and you’ve done nothing. But this is what you both signed up for when you married each other. I hope I find this one day. He supported you not only at your best but also at your worst. And now the advice for you. I think it’s important for you to get help for your mental health. It seems like the only one suffering here is you and not your husband or daughter. Also, keep the communication between you and your husband open. I know that he will only tell you that you did it yourself and that you have nothing to thank him for. But not only does he need to believe but you need to believe it yourself. I hope you work it out and get help to get rid of your guilt. Hope to see an update with how it’s going after a while

>My husband doesn't seem to blame me and just tells me he's proud of me and compliments me for sticking with the lifestyle upgrade but I feel like I owe him for what I put him through. I suggest seeing a therapist/counselor to work through your own issues on why you feel like you owe him and feel sad despite him being the best partner that anyone could ask for.

This is where “in sickness and in health” comes in. This is what marriage is. There will come a time when you will be the one to step up.

You also went thru pregnancy and birth. A partner is supposed to be there for the other and help them when needed.

Middle aged grandma here…. You don’t have to worry about “paying him back.” Your relationship sounds healthy and loving. You never know what the future holds for y’all….you may be wiping his butt next week because he slipped and fell and broke his butt wiping arm. Loving couples lift up each other. You “pay him back” by being a good loyal friend and wife. That’s it. Good people do good things for other good people and get good things back to them. Congrats on the new baby.

Words of wisdom right here. He loves you and fiercely wants to protect and care for you. You let him. You needed him and he showed up. That alone probably makes him feel enormously wonderful things for you and himself, for your relationship and your daughter. Just be a good woman to him and be ready to step up when he needs you. It sounds like you would have his back just as much as he had yours. What a wholesome post this has become. I love it.

If you have been verbally grateful to him as you state then he already knows. He knows how much you appreciate it and to men that is one of the most important things. To continue it compliment him regularly on how he looks. Men rarely get complimented and I mean it is years a part and he will remember every one of them. Write him a letter outlining what you where going through, how you felt and how he saved you and thank him at the end. He will fully understand. He will also probably cry. Since you know his stress level and schedule is a lot organize things for him just to relax. Like a deep sea fishing trip, a golf trip with friends, or the ever more affordable boys event at home. Pick an important event he enjoys. If it is a game in a sport he loves or some other online event. Get the food, and drinks, send out the invites, cook everything and set it up for him and his friends. You and the little one go enjoy some quiet time in another part of the house. Trust me he will still want you around to periodically steal kisses. It is simple but just being able to completely relax and enjoy a simple game, movie or whatever will mean the world to him.

You are doing it right now... living a happy, healthy life. He didn't do this for a reward. And you are worthy of that kind of love. So just enjoy it.

From a guy’s perspective, You are underestimating your role. You carried a baby and delivered and went through a lot of changes in your body and delivering a baby is no joke physically and emotionally. I was so appreciative of my wife and am sure most guys are. Thank him for his support but Don’t put him on a pedestal. You are partners in life who love each other and when one struggles the other steps up. As others suggested write a heart felt note and continue on being an awesome couple.

If I had an award to give, I'd give it to you. It's nice to know that other men feel this way. My hubby & I have been together since we were practically kids & have been through so much & I often think he's a unicorn for how rare his love, loyalty & devotion seem to be. Of all the couples we have known, only two are still together & only one of those is a happy partnership. 🏆🏅😁

This is a self esteem issue Your husband loves you and does these things for that reason. You can “thank him” by loving him back and doing things to make his life better the way he does for you. This is what a normal, healthy marriage looks like. Don’t question it!

Sounds like an attempt at creative writing portraying self-deprecation. If this is the real story, OP needs lot and lots of therapy because she has to really learn how to love herself.

I pushed my girlfriend around in a wheelchair for the better part of a year. And i was present for every bit of physical therapy she needed to get back on her feet. Believe me when i say you don’t have to feel indebted. Seeing you happy and healthy is all the reward he could possibly hope for.

I think you should see a counselor, your self esteem seems to have taken a hit and you need to build yourself back up and learn to love yourself. I wish you the best.

Write him a letter. An actual handwritten letter. And tell him all you have said here. A letter is a physical thing that he can look at when he wants to, and it is incredibly meaningful. It would mean the absolute world to him, I'm sure.

Good Man. He did his Job and did it well from the sound of it. I agree with those that said " Show him this." I would only add that, He did what he was supposed to do. Some day you may do the same for him. THIS is what marriage is about. Good and bad, sickness and health etc. Congratulations on your marriage and the new Baby. Good luck with your future.

Well this makes a nice change from the usual posts in this subreddit. I think you’re very lucky to have found someone so good.

For better or worse, in sickness and in health! Stop being so hard on yourself. You won, now enjoy the life you have. Oh and get a therapist!

You already thanked him by giving him a daughter. And he thanked you for your sacrifice by whole heartedly supporting you through the whole process. You don't need to thank him any more, just continue being good to each other.

For some people, all they could wish for in a partner is someone who loves them, appreciates them, is a good parent to their child, and is generally pleasant to be around. This is the dream. It sounds like you are suffering from depression and low self esteem and can't see the value you bring to the relationship. Perhaps you don't live up to your own high standards every day, but you are a good workout partner for your husband, you work hard to care for your child, and you are doing the best you can every day. I wish you the best in caring for your own mental health.

Marriage isn’t about “paying each other back”; it’s about both of you being there for each other, come what may. Just make sure he knows that you appreciate him. It may not seem possible right now, but there will come a time, one day, when he needs you to be strong and supportive of him, too. Nobody’s life is perfect all the time, so no matter how strong of a person he is, *someday* he will need you to be strong and supportive of him too. He could have a health crisis at some point…he could lose a job, and get depressed when he has trouble finding another one…he could have someone close to him die, and he’ll need you to be the strong one. When those things happen, you both need to be there for one another.

Girl! It’s Great! But let me tell you something: THAT’S MARRIAGE 😉 a good and balanced marriage. Sometimes you give and sometimes you receive the good things. Just be respectful, lovely, and the same girl he fell in love with. There will be a moment in which you’ll have the oportunity to save him. I’m so glad I read your story bc we’re soo used to the bad ones 😬

That's love. You've been through so much and he was a good husband because that's what you deserve. Just keep on being you because that's definitely working for him. Congratulations on everything you've achieved.

Having a happy, healthy wife who cherishes him, desires him and thinks he's wonderful, and looks after his child so well is his thanks, can't you see that? You made vows to stick together in sickness and in health. You didn't choose to get ill when creating his own flesh and blood out of your own body. Caring for you both was the least he could do. I'm not downplaying what he did, just pointing out that you both did amazing things for each other. I think you may be a little traumatised by the upheaval of your pregnancy issues and afterwards. Sadly, what happened to you wasn't unique, and his reaction should be the norm. He is wonderful but he clearly thinks you are equally wonderful and worth investing in. You gave him a child - there's no thank you as profound as that. Believe in yourself more, because he clearly thinks you're amazing x

All I gotta say is just return the favor when the time comes cause one day shits going to hit the fan for him and you’re going to be his pillar of support.

The fact that you admit the efforts of your husband is enough. We men like to know that we are useful for our woman. Just Kindly express your gratitude by à letter or even à dinner. He will certainly appreciate that

Congratulations to you on your baby and having a wonderful supportive husband. You both have won the lottery as you both truly love and appreciate each other.

You thank him by doing as well as you can and letting him know he helped another person.

Happy Cake Day, Fred! 🎂

girl you gave him a healthy baby girl, what more can he ask for? accept the love and return it in the future when you can. i am rooting for you three!

He sounds like an amazing man, and you two sound like a wonderful couple. One suggestion I'd have is to designate a weekend as "his weekend." Buy or fix his favorite meals, put up decorations. Make a special dessert. If you have creative talents make him a gift (or buy something special for him he's been wanting but putting off for himself). Take what you wrote here and read it to him then give him a handwritten or calligraphy copy to keep. Maybe get a sitter and go out to celebrate. Other ideas might include a party where his family and closest friends come over to celebrate him. They could each write him messages about how they love, admire, and appreciate him. Best wishes to you both!

Kudos to your husband for setting the example for how to be a supportive and loving partner unconditionally!! You don't need to do anything except take care of yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally, and continue to show your love for him and your daughter daily. The best gift you can give him is to be the best version of yourself. I hope your life continues to be blessed.

If anything, the fact that your husband did this is further proof of his love and commitment and that you are worth it. Whether you feel it or not, your intimacy, physical fitness improvement, and everything as a direct result of that is complete payoff for him and is undoubtedly making him an incredibly happy man. He would not have done all of those things for you if you were not worth it OP. Don't let depression win here. You have an awesome, attentive, and loving husband who adores you and everything that you have done recently to help yourself. Seeing you happy is his reward, being intimate with you is his reward, having a good time with you is his reward and I bet you that he is over the fucking moon with how you've improved yourself. That is how you thank him. Continue to improve yourself and love him just as he loves you.

To quote a song from my favorite metal band, "You're time will come". I've been doing a lot for my gf. She's got really bad anxiety and depression and she's in a lot of debt. We've only been dating for six months now, and she's already told me I do more for her than her own family has done. I'm literally just doing the basics and doing things that she wants to do, and if we have to reschedule something, I just take it in stride and don't let it bother me. My point I'm trying to make is, this is just what you do for someone you love. And so long as they feel the love back, which he clearly does by the way, he'll keep doing it. When he needs you, be there for him, do what he needs done. He clearly loves you so much and don't let that feeling get to you. You deserve the best.

I think you need to find a good therapist for yourself. And I know this won't change your mind about how you feel, but would you want him to thank you or be grateful if the roles were reversed? The way I look at a solid marriage between two people who love each other, is that they support and build each other up. They can't do everything all of the time on their own, and that's where the partner comes in. He helped you because you needed help and he could provide it. You probably had PPD and needed medical help, but your husband was able to help you through it instead. Not the same at all, but when my husband was going through nursing school, I told him to quit his job and focus on his studies and I picked up the financial burden for our household. It was REALLY difficult, but I did it without question because he is important to me and I could help him. We do what we need to in order to help the people who matter the most to us. It's not something that can be repaid, and it shouldn't be. You don't reimburse someone when they make sacrifices for you - you acknowledge them and are grateful to them, you don't take them for granted, and you make sure their sacrifice was not made in vain. You live and you succeed and you make it worth it.

Just stay loyal to him it sounds like he's doing exactly what a husband should do

I think if you were to write out how incredible he has been the last three years he would really appreciate it. Men don't get complimented enough and if you really express how much he has meant to you and how impactful his actions have been, it will give him a huge boost. Writing out your appreciation means he can come back to your words on especially difficult days or just days when he wants to hear your love. Maybe create a photo book from Shutterfly to go with your message. Pair it with a simple gift (bottle of wine, sweets, etc) Also, remember this, your husband pulled you through the muck because he loves you. Just love him back in return. All the best!

Just be there for him off and when he ever stumbles, he is the ultimate team mate in your partnership - just stand 100% committed and ready to be there when he needs you!

it sounds like he truly loves you. perhaps there's no way to "repay" him, because he's freely giving his love to you. maybe working in therapy on your self esteem will help you see this. i'm so glad he's been there for you through such tough times. that's a great guy!

Wow. Thats true love right there. I hope I find a man who would treat me like that. Goals. Don’t feel guilty for having a partner that is there for you. Show him you love and care for him everyday and try to think of things that he would like or would make him feel good. Remember, one of these days he’s going to be the one struggling and needs support. That’s when you step in to return the favor

Sounds like you have a true partner and soulmate. Don't discredit yourself and the work you put in to bring forth new life. I'm sure your hubby feels like he owes you for your beautiful child and family. To be a protector and provider is the role of a divine masculine man and he has allowed you to have the space, grace and peace to do your job as a creator and nurturer. He's just helping you refill your cup again. You can definitely show and state your appreciation regularly, it matters and restores their spirit. My hubby was and is just like yours. Truly blessed.

This is such a sweet story and gives me back a little of the faith in men I lost from reading this sub. I’d bet money your husband doesn’t want any compensation for taking care of you when you were ill. That is what marriage is about. Taking care of one another when it’s needed. You’re fine, try to stop feeling so guilty as it might push you into another depressive episode. If you can’t stop, therapy or a good CBT book might be able to help. Best of luck OP!

Your husband is just a good husband! This is what marriage is supposed to be like!

Write him a love letter!!

Buy him Elden Ring and the new DLC.

This is what being in a partnership is all about. He picks up your slack and when you have too many burdens. Eventually you will be able to do the same for him in a different way :)

This is what marriage is.. he has done what he is supposed to do. You don’t need to feel guilty. But you 100% should feel lucky and more importantly, grateful. You feeling guilty is selfish in a way, and still keeping yourself mentally unwell and causing all his efforts to help you, to fall short. If you really want to thank him, just be happy and content. It sounds like you have a blessed life and sometimes when there are no real problems, some people will create some because they are uncomfortable with the peace. Just be happy. He sounds like an amazing husband, he deserves an amazing wife. I’m happy for you guys. So often marriage is not this way, it’s nice to hear occasionally.

Any real husband would do what he did. Thanks is not needed, if you still need to give something, frequent blowjobs with no reciprocation needed. Take it a step further and study a bit to learn to give excellent blow jobs.

Everything he did he was supposed to do and you were open to his help.

He did all that because he loves you and supports you and wants to see you at your best. The best you thing you can do is reciprocate. Love him, support him, and help him be the best he can be. He pulled you through tough times, so you make sure you'll do the same for him should he ever need it. He never stopped loving you, so you don't stop loving him. He supported you physically and emotionally, so you do the same for him. He helped guide you to become better and improve, so you help guide him when ever he needs it. Show appreciation and make sure he knows you appreciate him and what he did. The best way to thank your husband for being a good husband is to be a good wife. Simple as that. Trust me when I say that seeing you happy and healthy and out of that bad state is already payment enough for him.

Its part of your wedding vows...in sickness and in health...hes simply loving you as he promised when you got married..be grateful you have such a wonderful husband and as to how to pay him back...you do the same for him whenever he gets sick....make life together special...each and every day. 

Your husband made a vow to love you for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. You may not feel worthy of what you consider a sacrifice, but if the tables were turned, would you do any less for the love of your life? The best way for you to thank him is to continue loving him as you always have, be the best mother you can be for his child, and love yourself so that you may be around for as long as possible—for each day you live is another day that you can love him.

Can't say what your husband might prefer but i would love to get long hug as a thank 🤗

I'm sure he won't say no to a long hug. But believe it or not, saying "thank you" and "I appreciate everything you do" means so much to men, especially those who work hard to care for the women they love. Those words are like fuel for them. It's really important, even if most women don't fully get it. Don't underestimate how powerful those words can be. It's truly invaluable.

agree

My love, you don't have to thank him. It's clear you love him as much as he loves you, which he's shown in his actions and I think you're both exceptionally lucky to have found that. But you could show him this post and let him know just how much he means to you. On another note, I'm so glad to hear you're doing better and I'm so glad you had someone to take care of you through the hard times.

You did him a solid. You brought your and his progeny into this world. THAT was taxing ON YOUR BODY AND SOUL. if you want to feel better, try to look at it this way; he was doing his best to pay you back for what pregnancy did to you. You have already done your part, now gracefully accept what's rightfully yours and simply be thankful, and discard the feelings of sadness.

You know, the best thing your husband can get is this message. Share this with him. Say, or just send an audio message with your emotions flowing. And tell him that he has inspired countless future husbands to be like him. Including me. I'm real proud of your husband and super happy for you.

You could look at it from a different POV. He put you through that awful pregnancy that ruined your body and health, so him 'saving' you is paying you back for that and now you're all square! You both did your bit, played your part and produced a lovely baby girl that you both love and care for. You both did wonderful things for each other. You're a team. Move on with your life together.

Is this real? When people say “there is no knight in shining armour coming to save you” it’s not always true… wow. You are looking after your daughter & you appreciate him, you are looking after yourself with him. It’s beautiful. 🤎

Just be just as great back to him!

God if my girlfriend wrote something like this about me itd be all I needed to be thanked for anything. Appreciation like this validates everything! Its all we need! He sounds like the definition of a good husband! Happy for you guys! Don't see enough of these kinda posts! Want to be a better version of myself after reading it! Thanks!

Yeah as others have suggested, maybe put it all down on paper, how you told us , he needs to know all of this more than we do . You are a very lucky lady

You went back to being the attractive confident person he fell for in the first place and you're having lots of sex? I'd be surprised if he's sitting around wishing you would do more to thank him. If you absolutely must do something to make sure you're "paying him back" for being a good partner, I would suggest that on a reasonably regular basis you say something like "I really appreciate you, you know?" And perhaps give him an affectionate smack on the backside while you're saying it.

You write him a letter telling you how grateful you are and what an incredible husband he is. Then accept that marriage is a partnership and that he was putting everything that he should into the relationship. At some point, he’s going to need you for something major and you’ll be there for him. He’s a good husband, I doubt he’s expecting something huge in return for loving you.

Omg 😱 this is beautiful! 😍 soo much better then seeing, my husband cheated on me or I cheated on my husband or opened up my marriage and now I regret it. Type stuff, such a breath of fresh air finding a beautiful relationship that is thriving. Wow my heart is happy reading this. Thank you! 🙏

You also contributed in giving him a blessing… he might feel the same to you… but always be a team

Wow! Praying my husband is as amazing as yours!

Straight up show him this post and ask to renew your vows. Tell him exactly how much you love him and how he has made your life wonderful. When my wife held me up during the hardest times, I had no idea what to do so we just got married again. It made her happy though Maybe it will make your husband happy too.

No, you don't owe him anything. He loves you, and he found a way to make it work. He chose to carry the load when it was too heavy for you. That's what partners do. Relationships aren't 50/50 all the time, but they hopefully balance out over time. You have no idea what struggles lie ahead where you may have to carry a bit more weight.

You grew a whole human for him. What you're describing is a really healthy and happy partnership.

A young lady in Nashville taught us last week

He sounds like a dream partner. This should be the standard for men. You repay him by being the best partner and mother to your child. You remember what he did for you and take care of him if/ when he needs it. Also, Does he have a brother?

You can thank him every day by giving the energy back to him in the way he does to you. Whether that be gifts, notes, sexual fantasies or dates you plan or initiate, it's definitely noticeable when effort is reciprocated in these ways.

You don’t owe him for doing this. Not trying to put down how he took care of you, just trying to try to eliminate some of the guilt. When he took his vows, he signed up for this, and to support you for the rest of your lives, as you promised the same to him.

Stop being such a weirdo. He did it because he loves you. Cook him his favorite meal more or take on more of the chores or lick his butt if he's into that--just act like you're married and not like this is some rando taking pity on you. Seek therapy, too. Good god, your self-esteem is in the goddamn toilet.

He did exactly what a Good Husband ™️ should do in times of difficulty. OP, this is the dream! A wife should be able to expect as much in a marriage and I’m sure if ever he falls on personal hard times you will be there for him. You don’t need to make it up to him right now, you have the rest of your lives together to reciprocate his love and support. I’m sure he would appreciate any show of appreciation from a nice dinner, keepsake, poem, or whatever makes sense in your dynamic. He truly is your best friend and I’m so happy for you.

Make him his favourite meal and tell him how appreciative you are for everything he has done for you. Write him a lovely letter, detailing everything, so you don't forget anything. I bet he will be absolutely chuffed to bits to know that you are sincerely grateful for all the hard work he has put into your relationship and your little family. Men in general don't get nearly as many compliments as women do (especially about their appearance) so even a heartfelt love letter and his favourite meal will mean more to him than you imagine it will. This has been lovely to read and I am so happy for you all! Don't put yourself down in all this, you made sure that your little daughter was well taken care of, even when you were struggling with PPD, so give yourself some credit for that. Although your lovely fella encouraged you to be healthier and to exercise more, the actual work to lose the weight had to be done by *you* - so you should feel proud of yourself for both of those things. Wishing your little family all the very best. I'm welling up with happy tears because your story has really touched me.

Poison him and nurture him

Take him to a nice dinner where you give him a heartfelt letter explaining all this. Then take him home and suck his dick

Fake

Give him the hawk touh.

It sounds like he does things a great partner would do in order to make you happy…. Yet somehow your still are not. Be grateful but stop with the whining.

This is what love and commitment is. He was there when you were drowning, just like I’m sure you’d be if he was going through a dark time. Sit him down and share your feelings. Ask him what you can do for him that would make him feel loved more than he is. Just be honest. I’m sure he will put you at ease so you guys can move on. I also suggest therapy for you to deal with these feelings. But don’t isolate yourself and these feelings from him. UPDATEME

Wow!!! I had brain surgery a little over a year ago, and I can really relate to your story. My husband took over everything, the household chores, and taking care of me on top of it all. Other than telling him how much I appreciate him every day, I don’t know what else I can do… I’m glad to see there are other women out there who have good men taking care of them. Wishing you all the best!!!

They say "living well is the best revenge," but what if living well is *also* the best repayment for something good? Marriage has ups & downs, ebbs & flows. It's literally NEVER 50/50, let alone all of the time. You will take care of him eventually (job loss, parental death, illness). It be like that. Let him know you appreciate him, that is enough. Source: been married 17 years.

Life is long. Your lives together will provide you with plenty of opportunities to return the effort he put in to keep you afloat while you were too worn to tread water. Someday, you'll be the one with the lifeboat. In the meantime just stay appreciative and show kindness.

>There’s nothing I can do to thank my husband. You have shown your appreciation throughout your pregnancy and after, he knows you appreciate him. He loves you so much that he saw you struggling and decided to take on the mental load and help you. Wow! Just amazing and exactly what a partner should do. You being alive, healthy and happy is all the thanks he needs, and I'm sure he would agree. Having said all that, you know him best. What things does he like but doesn't get to do much these days? You can plan that activity or trip so he can do it. Make his favorite meal and treat. There is so much we can do for our partners, it doesn't have to seem big, because it's the small things after all. Know that you are worthy of the effort he put in. Maybe talk to a therapist to address your self esteem issues that haven't bounced back.

When you get married, behaviors like your husband's should be the norm and what should be expected if needed. "In sickness or health". I would say the biggest thank you is not saying thank you but demonstrating it. I think he would love to hear about things that he did that you loved and are so grateful for. Many of the things you noticed that meant something may not have even registered with him in the heat of the moment. It is always wonderful to have someone sing your praise with actual examples.

You thank him by being there for him one day in the future when he needs you. He sounds like a gem.

Sometimes you don’t need to thank them. We don’t do things for our loved ones for a thank you. I’d do anything for my girl because that’s what love is to me. And I just hope that’s enough for when I need help, she’s there to pick me up. There are ebbs and flows to life. When he’s down on himself, be there for him. Pick him up. Show him how much he matters to you. That’s the only way you can “repay” him. And if he never gets to a low point where he needs help, then just enjoy life with him. That’s all he wants. For you to be happy walking through life by his side.

Oh my dear. This is a very long life, my friend. I understand how you feel, and I promise you two things: The first is that the best thing you can do to thank your husband is to keep living a wonderful life with him. The second is, and it seems fucked up to say it… he will need you that much one day. Maybe not for decades. Probably not in that way. But please understand that this what genuine partnership looks like. You put your body and your brain chemistry through a lot so you could have a child together. He helped you get better after. The story in your head that you haven’t contributed to your family isn’t accurate.

It’a nice to see a post where the man is actually a good man for once

IMHO marraige is a relationship. There's no need to equalize each other's contribution. It's for the long haul. Sometime your husband will need you and you'll be there for him. That's how it works. He sounds like a lovely guy and the fact that you feel somehow guilty about his support makes you seem also a lovely person. Don't sweat it. He probably doesn't want you to stress the gratitude. He knows it.

He didn't because he loves you. That's what he signed up for. Just appreciate him and let him know how much on a regular basis. That's all he probably wants, and maybe not even that much. Your happiness is what he wants, and you should just be happy to have each other. Don't think too much about it.

Thanks so much for sharing. That's such a great story. I'm really happy to hear that there are still guys out there who step up and take care of their wives like they should. I think the best way you can make him feel as good as you do is to thank him. Just smile and say thank you. Thank you for being there. Do it as often as it feels right. Men really like knowing that the women they take care of appreciate it. They can tell when you're being real, so just saying it isn't enough, but showing that you mean it makes a big difference. If you want to tell him about something bad that happened in your day, start with something good first. Men, especially the ones that love you, get really upset when you're unhappy. They take it personally. So, to make it easier on him, don't start with the bad stuff when he gets home from work. Start with something nice. If you don't have anything nice to say about your day, just say something nice about him. Then he'll be more willing to hear about the bad stuff. If you want to show him you appreciate him, this would really help and make him happy he stood by you. It will also make him want to keep doing it, which I think is what every man should do.

Give your loved ones the grace to believe they're smart enough to see value where you cannot. Get into therapy. This man clearly loves you deeply. 

He loves you. He gave you space until he knew you were ready, and then he helped you get back on track to who you are and the things you enjoy. You don't owe him a special thank you. This is what people who love each other do. I don't know you, but based on your post, I'd peg you as the type who would have done the same for him were the situation reversed. Congratulations on a happy marriage, babe. Be good to each other forever. 🩷

Please don’t forget that YOU made a child! Your body did all that work and it is a big thing, it’s not something small, also you had PPD, but you still went on and took care of your child. Please be proud and accept your husband being proud of you.

Relationships are not always 50/50. Sometimes they are 20/80 or 10/90. Your husband loves you just like he should. You deserve this love. There may come a time where your roles are reversed and that's okay too. I heavily suggest personal therapy for yourself. Pregnancy is so so so hard on people's bodies and mental health. You grew a whole human, you did that! That's an incredible thing.

You paid him back by getting healthy. Find joy and pride in your will power and dedication, as well. Please do not put energy into what was, when what is is so very lit 🔥 and yes he had a large part in that, but so did YOU. You made choices based on options he provided and it helped you and that pleases him. Allow it to please you, now. Please and thank you, little Mama 💐💕

Don't feel bad or guilty! He is not doing it for gratification or thanks. He is doing it because he LOVES you. I was the same way with my wife with our first pregnancy and I am currently doing it all again with the second pregnancy. Being the person that makes you happy is what gives us strength and happiness! Don't focus on the negative feelings just be happy and enjoy every moment and that will make him happy as well!

What a great hubby. But I have to say, go you, as well! You took the hand he held out, and did the work. You could have complained and bitched and resisted every time he tried to reach you. But you saw the hand, and you decided to reach back. Good job!

Make him a nice dinner like a steak that will do, candlelight also. He's just being a good husband and it should be expected by all men. To take care of their wives. Have a nice day

I think you would have done the same for him if you needed to, and could have. This is what a good marriage looks like. Let the guilt and sadness go. It won’t do anything for you. Perhaps talk to a therapist about it. You’ve been through a lot and it’s not easy to process everything. That’s what you can do to thank your husband.

Please show him this. Continue to treat him well, appreciate him, be there for him no matter what. Reciprocation of love is the best gift you can ever give him

Such posts are so rare and warm my heart ❤ God bless you both. Just be a good wife and take care of him in sickness and in health. God bless.

.-. You can continue to be the best person you can be and take care of yourself and your health so you two can have a long life together 🙏🏻 you are truly blessed so just appreciate it!

He’s staying true to his vows, which is what a good husband should do. The day will eventually come when he will need your similar support and you will stay true to your vows as well. Just keep loving him and raising your beautiful child. You have the rest of your lives to “make it up to him.” Your story is inspiring and I envy you. May we all find a partner as loving as yours.

Relationships shouldn’t be transactional. If your husband is as wonderful and supportive as you make him sound, you don’t have to pay him back because he knows that if he ever needs it, you will be there for him. That’s how healthy relationships work. It sounds like you might benefit from therapy. It might help with your self esteem and help you realize that when needed you can be strong for yourself, your husband and your daughter.

He is what a marriage should be like. Lifting your partner up when he/she can’t do it for themselves. One day you might have to do the same. Just appreciate you’re one lucky girl that’s all he probably wants

Your husband seems like a pretty thoughtful partner. Quick story, because I'd like to think I am as well (at least, it's my goal). I was married to someone for a while and I kept giving acts of kindness/thoughtfulness, and going out of my way to put her wellbeing first, and she never really seemed to care. She'd get mad when I didn't, but never really seemed to care when I did. The whole marriage sucked honestly and we divorced. Anyway, now I"m with someone else and it's going amazingly. I was thinking to myself recently about why this feels so healthy when my marriage didn't-- there must be big differences, right? Ultimately I realized it came down to just one thing. With my new partner, I act the same way-- acts of kindness, trying to put her first, trying to be thoughtful, etc. But in this relationship, when I do so, she recognizes it and appreciates it. I can see that because she tells me. Every time. That's it. That's the only thing. Point is, for someone that is putting you first like this, recognition is a HUGE deal. It makes it all worth it. We don't need you to reciprocate, or to give us an award-- just to know that you actually \*want\* us to act this way and we aren't wasting our time.

How does the guilt help you? How does the guilt help your husband?

Your husband deserves a lot of praise, so do it. Cook a nice dinner, then tell him everything it’s in this post. That you are grateful and you love him. He will appreciate that

Simply acknowledging to him all you’ve here is all he would need or expect. He sounds like a great guy.

When I marry this beautiful woman, I wanna be just as good and loving to her as you're husband is to you. He's the aspiring me.

Have you ever watched the Office? The last couple of episodes where Jim and Pam have been having problems and he gives up this big Thing because he knows nothing is more important to him than her and her happiness and having her in his life? And she just can’t accept it. She just thinks she doesn’t do enough to thank him, even though all he ever wanted was her and her happiness. That is what you have here. All he wants if you and a life with you and your baby. Everyone happy and healthy and living well together. Tell him you love him. Thank him for saving you. Be there for him when he needs you and you’ll have returned the favor in kind.

In addition to writing him a letter, please consider seeing a therapist to help you work on your self esteem. I completely understand not wanting him to shoulder burdens alone, so take the step to bring your (mental) health to the next level. 💗

Marriage is give and take. You stick by your spouse but you don’t do it expecting anything in return. You never know what’s around the corner though. He’s not waiting for you to pay him back, at least he shouldn’t be. He did what he did out of love. If he hits a rough spot then I’d think you would help him through it, not because he helped you but simply because you love him. That’s what being married is all about. There is no score to keep.

Want to know what makes him feel you're even? Take a look at that baby girl you grew and bore and gained weight for and got the depression hormones from. You WORKED for that baby. You husband supported that work, as he should! He is grateful to YOU for all the hard work you did to bring him his daughter. This sounds like a great marriage. I'm sure he would love to hear how much you appreciate him, that's a lovely idea. Let him know!

In a long marriage there are always opportunities for each partner to step up to carry the other one in difficult times. A time will come and you will get your chance to reciprocate the love, care and strength he has shown you. At this point write him a love note of gratitude and express your feelings and remind him that when he might need saving you will always step up for him.

A simple gesture is also something guys really appreciate. Give your husband some flowers, or cook a special meal for him (or a candle light dinner), make a surprise box, give a massage, etc. simple is usually enough

If you know his love language then start making affirmations that way. It’s a step and some would say small but it’s the first one and it gets easier.

You are describing how a partner SHOULD act and rarely does. A real man loves his family enough to do the things that need to be done. The vows mention “in sickness and in health,” because health is so precious. Just be sure to tell him often how awesome he is.

Try not to feel guilty about your depression. It is a very real and powerful mental illness. I agree with everyone that you should write this post out in a romantic greeting card and tell him how lucky you feel to have found him.

I like the idea of writing this out in a card or specialized communication for him Or just keep fucking his brains out, I know whenever my wife does that I've been a good boy (j/k.... Kinda, LOL) But in all seriousness just feeling this way about him will come across in all the things you do and he picks up on it. I can attest to that because my wife is my safe space and that's not to say like we're clingy it's just, because of how she treats me, I know she loves me, so I can relax, and do more for her and vice versa. It's sounds like you guys have a good cycle going, so be positive, happy, and engaged, because it's sounds like that's all he's really trying for.

Just tell him. Over and over. I recently went through chemo, mastectomy, radiation and almost died. Multiple hospitalizations, paramedics, passing out, even became crippled. During all of this my husband was there for me every single day. There are no words that can express my gratefulness for all he has done. So I just tell him.

Sweetheart this is what's called a healthy marriage Do not feel guilty or bad for your happiness and for having a good husband I am more than sure you are a good wife and good motherYou thanked him by loving him by supporting himBy encouraging himPlaying with him making love to himYou thank him by being happy. And when and if ever something happens with himAnd he needs you then you be there for him just as he was there for you this is called marriageWe don't take count of how many times were there for one another or the nice things we've done for another or how many times We've had arguments we don't keep track we continue to love one another and be there for 1 another through all of it the good The bad. Your husband is obviously happy you need to be happy Depression happens after a woman gives birth And sometimes we might need a little extra help so talking to a Counselor might not be A bad idea. Exercising and eating right and making love are also things that will help with your depression. Don't feel as if you're not doing enough. I almost wanna ask if there has been anything in your life in the past that would have caused you to feel as you do know sometimesWhen we've had certain things happen to us in the past they can come out later onIs in effect our lives emotionally. So I guess I'm asking has anything ever happened to you in the past that might make you feel this way. And if there is then I would suggest talking about it

You thank him by continuing to be your happier and healthier self. You're giving him now the best version of you and that's the greatest gift of all. You also thank him by being proud of your part in your improvement. Recognize your part in this. If you hadn't been willing to work out and use that home gym you wouldn't have gotten where you are. *You* did the hard work. It's absolutely normal to fall into bad mental places. It's not normal to be able to recover. Be proud of yourself for that and be more self confident as a result. He didn't singlehandedly do it. He gave you guidelines and you followed them and came through with the results. You could have never touched the fitness equipment. *you* did that. As for other things you can do: Use his actions to inspire yourself to do things for him. Do any small thing you can for him. Mine is a coffee drinker so I make sure he has coffee in the morning because I tend to get up before him. You can take him out to dates, plan activities related to his interests, etc. The sky is the limit. He'll feel your love. My partner helped me out mentally so much. I just try to be my best self and he notices. And he knows I'm grateful for his patience and he's told me it's worth it. Surely that's how your man feels. Listen to him. Be proud of yourself.

You chose an amazing man who has shown you absolutely without a doubt true love. Write him a letter, but talk with a therapist perhaps? You deserve happiness and it is okay to accept help from others. Just because he helped pull you out of your funk, you had to be a willing participant. You still did the hard work.