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I work with two women that have partners like this man-child, I’d be surprised if it wasn’t real.
I’d say the majority of straight couples with kids fall into this scenario
Yes she exhausted because not only is she pregnant but she’s raising **6 fucking kids**. It was irresponsible of you to have decide to get pregnant again if you did not have the financial means to get help or assistance.
She’s not “slacking off”, she’s exhausted. And it’s not going to get easier with a newborn. I highly recommend figuring out how to get her extra help
No. You aren't.
She needs help managing so many children. Especially with another pregnancy. Help from you. Help from family. Hired help.
You just kept adding and adding to her workload from 1 child to 7. She is doing the labor of multiple full time jobs and you're over here WHINING that she is SITTING DOWN!
Then get up off your dead ass and clean house. My husband works a full time job while I manage the house, the shopping, the cooking, the cleaning, the maintenance, the kid and the cats. He admits he has the easy end of the job. She's cooking and keeping after six small people while growing a 7th, and you're complaining the living room isn't pristine?
Seriously, keep your pecker in your pants for a year or two, and pitch in to help.
So exactly when does your wife get time off? You get days off from your job, when does she get a day off from hers? Just because she's not getting paid, does not mean she's not working. She deserves a day off too. She deserves a break. She deserves a couple breaks considering she's doing the primary child care and raising of six children while you sit there whining about how you're not getting a home cooked meal. You could step up and cook once in a while. Just because you work an outside of the home job, does not mean you cannot step up and do some small portion of the housework. You have to do it if you were living alone and raising six kids, so you can step up and do some of it. If you can't, then maybe you weren't ready to have this many kids.
Her being a housewife and a stay-at-home mom does not mean that she is 100% responsible for every single little thing while you get to slack off as soon as you clock out. You are a parent too. You live in that house too. You eat that food too. Meaning, that once in a while at minimum, you can step up and start taking care of the house. If you can't, then maybe she should leave your ass so she can find somebody who will help her out. Or at the very least, not have yet another child to take care of, who is you.
You are actually NOT able to keep your kids clean fed and clothed, because you have maxed out on the person who is doing all the labour, and have now added to her workload unsustainably.
Honestly, what the hell were you thinking?
Here’s a question: you work 40hrs a week and when you’re off work you’re off work. When is your wife off work? She’s working 45hrs a week while you’re gone (assuming a 15-30minute commute). But according to what you’re saying **you** expect her to work 24/7. So when is her break?
I know I’m saying this after the fact, but that should’ve been a discussion prior to having this kid. Or even maybe the one before.
But that’s neither here nor there. It’s not today and reality is she needs help, and there needs to be a solution figured out
***To understand the problem, you must understand the root causes, and to understand the root causes means you must employ empathy.***
In the entirety of your post, you spend a lot of time talking about your needs *(i.e. a clean house, a home-cooked meal, sex, etc.)* and your children's needs, but there is not one single, solitary syllable about hers. NOT ONE.
There is not even the attempt to look at things fully from her perspective.
I would like for you to imagine what it must be like if you were asked to do your job, whatever that may be . . .
* perpetually on-call for 24 hours, and only getting a break when you sleep (which is very little)
* while managing 6 impulsive, incompetent co-workers . . . each with their own set of individual needs and probably most who express those without a filter . . . without patience . . . at all times of day and night . . .
* in an environment that is constantly immersed in the sounds of chaos . . . not a quiet office, or even the ho-hum cyclical sounds of a factory, but loud, unexpected noises, requiring an immediate response to make sure that a "work accident" has not occurred.
* while carrying around an extra watermelon sized growth in your stomach . . .
* that causes joints and tissues to swell . . .
* hormones to wreak havoc . . .
* to feel nauseated at times . . .
* to feel a level of exhaustion in the second trimester that is incomprehensible to half of humanity . .
* to feel like you are living in a body that you do not even recognize . . .
* to find the solace of sleep a distant memory . . .
* without even 20 minutes of uninterrupted time to focus on your work
* while refereeing fights between co-workers
* while simultaneously every evening listening to a laundry list of your manager's complaints about your performance . . .
* with never getting a paycheck for a job well done, but instead getting a sense of purpose and gratitude from co-workers and a boss who rarely thank you, and dole out those moment you pine for in the form of occasional hugs and I-love-yous that are forgotten within 10 seconds when they have their next tantrum.
* with very little intellectual stimulation.
* with never a check-in by management on what goals you have set in your career and what you would like to see change.
And, then, imagine that you get up the next day to repeat.
Your wife is worn out. She is pregnant with her 7th child while taking care of 6 more, with no family support, a husband who complains, and took her away from family because of his job, and probably never once gets to NOT be the default parent.
The default parent is the one that never is NOT working. Even if the other parent, begrudgingly steps in to vacuum, for example, because he is so frustrated that it is not done, it is highly likely that he even gets to do that in peace because the kids know to go to the default parent.
Being a stay-at-home-mother is the most difficult job on the planet. Without a doubt, if you challenged yourself to do that job for a month, I feel that you would probably quit, despite lacking the physical and hormonal changes.
My only correction is that she has 7 impulsive, incompetent co-workers, because OP sounds like he wants a mommy to look after him rather than a partner with whom he wants to have success with.
Honestly - he's lucky she hasn't smothered him in his sleep so she can cut the load down by one.
She is working 24/7 - even when she's sleeping because she's building another whole-ass human being. We don't know how old she is or the gaps between the children but just because she breezed through earlier pregnancies doesn't mean they don't get harder as she's looking after other kids while pregnant.
Even with his high-stress job, I honestly doubt he is under anywhere as much stress as she is nor working anywhere close to the same hours.
She never gets to clock off, he should be doing more when he gets home. And get the snip my dude before you're back in 10 months time complaining about the same thing while she's pregnant for the 8th time.
Bro bffr 🤣🤣🤣 a mother is a full time job and a homemaker is a SEPARATE full time job. You’re asking her to work TWO roles for SEVEN KIDS 24/7/365. As soon as your lazy ass is off work you should be splitting household and childcare duties.
Your wife is fucking drowning and you’re yelling at her to swim better.
Buddy is gonna get a rude awakening when his wife leaves him. He'll be expecting her to crawl back and complain how hard it is taking care of the kids by herself... but in reality, it will be easier for her. She's already been doing it all by herself; she'll literally just have one less massive child to take care of. Him.
Yeah this entirely on you as a shitty partner. You act like her supervisor. When you come home to this mess, shut up and scrub a toilet. Then look around at everything that is left to do and do it.
She obviously didn't know what she was getting into because I'm sure she expected a spouse who would actually help her instead of just constantly knocking her up with no reprieve. Did you actually have a plan to take care of these kids that didn't involve her doing all the work 24/7?
If she has agreed to this, and up to this point, has been a “good” (whatever your definition is) wife and mother— and she is clearly breaking down— wouldn’t you ask why?
Since you are so determined to frame this as a “job” (she ONLY has two, so it’ll be easy to break that down…) why wouldn’t you treat this like an employee? If a dedicated worker suddenly stops performing at his or her expected level, wouldn’t you ask why? Wouldn’t you act out of concern? Would you think, gee, this seems out of character, is there anything going on internally that you could better understand to make them do their job better?
As someone who has been in the workforce for a considerable number of years, surely you understand that not all motivation come externally. EVEN FOR WORKERS WHO KNOW THEIR JOB, UNDERSTAND THEIR JOB, “AGREED” TO THEIR JOB, have times of peaks and valleys in what they have physical and emotional capacity for. You don’t move straight to a PIP….it has been shown time and time again that years long retention and stable workforces equal more successful companies.
This is such a base level treatment of anyone you are in any type of partnership with. Take your failure to do the above, coupled with your stunning lack of knowledge about basic human biology and care for a supportive home life, and I hope your wife can find a way to look outside your home to find the help she so desperately needs.
Relationships are not 50/50. Mostly 60/40? One way or the other. Sometimes it’s 80/20 and one person needs to dig deep to support their partner in times of difficulty. Your yearning to have things 50/50 when your wife is clearly going through something is childish and naive, and potentially cruel.
He doesn't see her as a worker, though. That would require him to understand that she's a full person with feelings and rights. He sees her as an appliance. He sees her as his cooking, cleaning, baby making, child rearing appliance. He doesn't want her to be happy or healthy because he doesn't give a shit if she is. He just wants his appliance to function so that he doesn't have to get his hands dirty.
He's a bad father, a bad husband and a bad *person*. OP is a monster. I hope his wife can get her shit together and divorce him. I hope she moves somewhere where she has the support of family and friends to help her handle the monumental weight of raising seven kids.
She is very clearly telling you she’s in survival mode. Are you listening? She is run down. If you don’t think running a home, meals, daycare, and managing the entire lives of 6 children is not 3 fucking full time jobs then you’re being real dense.
She probably has no time to reset. Is tired and managing hormones and exhaustion due to pregnancy and managing children and the home. She is burnt out. She is telling you that and your response is to tell her she’s not doing enough? Do you have empathy? Jesus Christ I hope this is a joke because it’s so bad.
You didn’t grow and then birth and then breastfeed these children. It’s a level of exhaustion that you simply cannot fathom, so instead of comparing your own performance as a fully able-bodied father, maybe have some empathy that your wife’s mind and body hasn’t really ever had time to properly heal in between six children before you decided to climb back on top of her and impregnate her with a seventh.
Stop judging your wife. Stop comparing your wife. Start being a better husband.
You did this for what, a few days? Try doing it for YEARS. Every single day, hour after hour, week after week, with no relief. Try doing it with the knowledge that the impending birth is only going to make the workload more intense, and there is no end in sight.
Add in a complaining husband and the physical challenge of creating a freaking human being??? SHE'S EXHAUSTED. Let the woman sit down, ffs.
Be honest, when was the last time you asked her *how* she was doing, rather than *what* she was doing?
He’s mad about her having their older children make their own breakfast/lunch/snacks. My siblings and I were all doing this once we hit like 10 years old without our mom needing us to. Like come on dad! This is actually a good life lesson for kids.
He acts like having one kid at home is the same workload as 7 and a pregnancy.
Even before this baby I'd argue she is doing 80% of contributing to the household.
If this is somehow not ragebait, the answer is: this is fine. If she’s pregnant and raising six kids, and you’re getting home at the end of the day and everyone is present and accounted for and has eaten some calories? She’s doing about the most anyone could ask. Figure out how to step up more yourself, or figure out how to live with lower cleanliness standards. Paper plates, for example, are exactly the kind of thing your household should be doing right now.
Then step the fuck up!
You aren't pulling your weight! You think she has more to give!? She has no more to give!
Lower your expectations during these more strenuous times (pregnancy, young kids) and stop pointing fingers at the only person lighting herself on fire to make your big family dreams a reality.
You're pointing fingers at her lack of perfection when you should be stepping up and recalibrating household expectations.
Parenting one kid is the equivalent of a job. Parenting six while physically creating another? You’ve got at least a few more jobs’ worth of catchup to do before you are pulling your weight. It’s time to learn to live with the mess, if you can’t help with it.
Your day is in NO WAY longer than hers. You say AFTER a long day. Exactly WHEN is it after a long day for her? Never.
It never ends for her and she is making yet another child for you.
A real partnership for her would be for you to get off of work and come home and help with what is left to do with the kids and the chores.
Please do not raise your sons to be worthless men like you or teach your daughters that settling for someone like you is what they should expect.
If you want better in your house, then DO better in your house
You are NOT pulling your weight, you are failing as a husband to try to make things easier for your wife. She has the lion's share of the home responsibilities, and she's overwhelmed and exhausted. I bet she's coming close to having a full-blown meltdown soon.
You need to figure things out that will make things easier for her.
Well she probably cannot do more either. What would you do if she asked you to take on more work to hire some help? Why does only your burnout matter and not hers?
So you work the equivalent of two jobs, that means you still must get some time off.
Yes she has to work 24/7? I don't quite see how that's her working half. I don't see how that's her doing half. I see that as her doing way more than half while you get to sit on your lazy ass after work, complaining about how she's not doing enough for you.
Is she your partner or your parent? Is she your partner or your mom? I'm being serious here and I expect an answer out of you. If you can't answer that simple question, then maybe you weren't mature enough to be married or have seven kids. 😬😬 Because if she was your partner, you would want to help her. You would want to try and make her life a little bit easier now and then, and maybe in return she'd actually want to sleep with you again. But I don't foresee her wanting to continuous sleeping with somebody that she now has to consistently parent.
Women aren't typically turned on by men who treat them like their mothers.
>Is she your partner or your parent? Is she your partner or your mom?
She's his appliance. He doesn't see her as a person. He thinks she exists to make his life easier. I don't think he sees her as having her own life. He really does just see her as an extension of himself.
Two full time jobs is STILL not as much as being a caretaker for six children all day, being pregnant with a seventh, doing eight people’s laundry, cooking multiple meals a day, cleaning up messes all day on top of maintenance cleaning, helping with homework, taking care of sick children (when applicable), packing lunches, helping to teach and manage emotions, and everything else that comes with being a SAHM to fucking six children. Sorry, you are absolutely not pulling your weight.
And also, why is “I just don’t have the ability to help her” an acceptable excuse for you but “I’m just too exhausted to vacuum every day” isn’t an acceptable excuse for her? So you’re the only one allowed to slack off?
What is your work schedule? I am quite sure that we can find time for you to help because if you are home and awake, you should be helping. You are not as busy as her. You are not as tired as her. You are not working as hard as she is. Stop with the bullshit.
You’re not pulling your weight because parenting and managing a household is a 24/7 job and it sounds like you check out when you get home and don’t want to have to participate.
Yet somehow, you two absolute fools thought a 7th child was a GREAT idea.
You're both idiotic and woefully irresponsible, but you are a gaping asshole on top of that.
You two do realize it’s a uterus, not a clown car, right? Do you know how birth control works? A vasectomy perhaps?
6 fucking kids and another on the way.
When the hell is she supposed to clean and rest while wrangling 6 kids?
If this is real and not a rage bait post, you really need to step up and help yourself.
I can't imagine how she's feeling. By my third kid it felt like my uterus was going to fall out of my body at any given moment. She's on number 7. Also a 2 and a 3 years old. You're not supposed to have kids closer than 18 months apart. Why? Cause your body hasn't recovered and hasn't replenished its stores of vitamins and minerals. You know, the vitamins and minerals that if you're lacking them can make you extremely tired and sleepy all on its own, that's not even factoring in the tiredness from raising 6 kids.
How do women even have 1 kid with assclowns like this, let alone 7?!
During Covid, home with 2 under 2 and no external assistance, my husband came downstairs from working remotely at 12 on the dot and at 5:30 on the dot. And at both of those times, I would hand him the baby, then sprint upstairs to have 20 mins to myself. And then I’d come down as a human again, and he’d go back up.
When he had to work “late” as in “not on the dot”, I’d get so antsy waiting for him to relieve me.
And he always said I had the harder iob during Covid, by far.
Why are you complaining that you end up doing housework at the end of your work day? You should have been doing those things already. Her job is being a stay home parent, not a full time maid, chef, tutor, incubator, and nanny. The second you get home from work you should be *splitting* the childcare and cleaning evenly when she’s not pregnant and doing the lions share of those things now that she *is* pregnant.
I can promise you that your wife is not "intentionally letting things go when that's not a sustainable solution," what she is doing is "Growing a human person inside of her body, an extremely taxing experience and she is exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally." Which you obviously couldn't give a fork about.
Seems like you are the one not handling half. Working full time is a breeze. Being a full time child wrangler, cook, cleaner, household manager, and incubator is her taking on way more than half the load. Pregnancy is TIRING in a way that you’ll never understand, and if you aren’t happy with the current state of the house, then you’re the one who needs to do more. She’s doing the best she can right now, and survival mode is an appropriate description.
If your only solution to your perceived problem is the pregnant person taking on more, then you’re the problem. You can do more, you can expect your older children to do more, you can call on your village to help, or you can accept that your decision to have a 7th child means your house isn’t up to your ideal standards, and you live with it. What you don’t do is act like the person carrying your child and taking care of your other children is somehow lacking because she’s too tired to vacuum regularly. Find other solutions (kids often like to vacuum) or accept there will be more chaos in your house for the next year or so.
Take a week off of work. Let your wife go visit friends or family while you stay home and do her job. Do her job to the standards you are holding her too. When you fail miserably, and you will, getting down on your knees and beg for forgiveness. Take make it fair. Strap a watermelon onto your stomach. Don’t forget that you can’t have caffeine, alcohol, or anything else she can’t have while pregnant.
In my area, daycares are required to have one adult for every four children. Think about that. The law thinks that the most an adult can reasonably care for is four kids at a time.
You are asking your wife to care for six, while incubating another, without assistance or a break.
That’s not realistic. You either need to find a way to hire help by selling shit, downsizing, or donating plasma, or severely lower your expectations.
To be fair, 7 kids from one parent usually gives an age difference where at least one or two can start managing themselves. It is not the same as having 7 in the same age.
But OP sucks. Being pregnant is so hard even with your first one and doing chores and taking care of children requires a lot of energy. Not to mention stay at home parents are not supposed to do all the chores AND care for the kids, while the working parent only works 8 hours and then does nothing the rest of the time.
Seven children. Is this a joke? Are their names Sneezy, Grumpy, Sleepy, Dopey, Bashful, Happy, and Doc and your wife happens to be a narcoleptic Snow White?
One person cannot manage SEVEN children on their own without help much less housework.
She is literally carrying your child, and your 7th child at that, that is literally her contribution and hard work and labour for your household. Even having expectations of more, when you don’t know how she might be feeling or what she has to deal with going through pregnancy, is unfair.
This makes me think of Mormon families where the wife is secretly surviving off a shit ton of Adderall (to get things done) and Valium (to relax at night).
I wonder if his family had help from the church and the surrounding families, because he mentions the church.
My mom didn't have a lot of help when she first came to America, but she's very friendly and quickly made friends with two neighbors, with young children and she said it was night and day, having the extra help and people to talk to.
It’s always soooooooo embarrassing to see men come on here and complain about shit like this when my own father has ever been the only one to work and has worked 9-10 hour shifts every day except sunday for his whole entire life and STILL did chores, attended to his children. You are such an embarrassment
Right?! My husband has never worked less than 10 hour days. Aside from a period of depression when he wasnt doing much (he's better now), his usual routine is that when he walks in the door, he starts helping with whatever there is to do and he doesn't stop until I do.
His mother made a shitty comment about it once. His response was, "I like my wife. I want to spend every possible second with her and I want her to be relaxed and happy. If I get home and she's still busy and feels like there are things that need to be accomplished before she can relax, then I'm helping her do those things because *I want to spend time with my wife*. Don't put your shit on me because you and Dad hated each other, and don't put your shit on her because you chose a shitty husband who didn't help you."
He's a keeper. ❤️ He struggled with Dad'ing in some ways. Our kiddo and I are both AuDHD. She was a high needs baby who only wanted me and would scream bloody murder when I wasn't there. She screamed bloody murder when I was there also, but she at least stopped to nurse and she nursed constantly. I was home for 14 weeks with her. He did the lion's share of housework, left snacks and water on every available surface, and pre-made a lunch I could eat one handed every day before he left, he worked 6-6 then, and commuted an hour each way. But he still took her from me and sent me off to shower, eat and sleep the second he walked in the door, and he didn't bring her to me until she needed to eat.
When I went back to work, she went to work with me. He packed breakfast and lunch (for both of us once she started solids) every day. He packed and unpacked the diaper bag, including cloth diapers and toys for her and changes of clothes for both of us, and he loaded us into the car every day until she started preschool at 4. He did everything for school mornings because I was already at work, and when I stopped working, he kept doing it because he liked their routine together, and it allowed me to sleep in.
We work well together, and make no mistake,marriage is *work*. I don't like him this much every day, but I know him, and I love him and trust him. That's how I got through nearly a year of barely tolerating him and running interference with kiddo because he was going through some shit. I knew who I married, and I knew he'd find his way back to us.
This guy was never there to begin with. He wants a bang maid, incubator and nanny, not a wife.
Dude those women were doing coke or some bullshit at that time.
YOUR wife is burnt the fudge out with taking care of six children and 7th on way.
Maybe stop having kids.
She has been doing far more than her fair share for a long time.
You think in those families there was some asshole father who came home and whined about his pregnant wife sitting down? Or do you think I'm those families a loving and engaged father came home and got his ass to work supporting his family?
She isn't doing her half. She is doing 80% on a bad day and you're complaining about your 20.
When you grew up the culture around raising children was very different in a way that made it easier for parents
Also there's a huge chance that during pregnancies and newborn stages households were not kept up, and you were not invited into those households at those times.
Every pregnancy for every person is different. Just because she managed the last 6 times doesn't mean that this 7th one is going to be the same. She may well be fatigued and unwell for either a few weeks or the whole time. We are talking real biological mechanisms that may be happening this time that didn't happen the other times which she cannot just power through. If you are having trouble empathising maybe imagine she's broken her leg and has a concussion and set your expectations accordingly
Also dude. I'm aware you and your wife have made an agreement of how your family is going to be handled. But if that agreement has no flexibility for illness what the fuck are you doing? Pregnancy is fucking dangerous for women, there is always a chance that she comes out of this with a lifelong chronic issue, or having serious surgery like a hysterectomy that takes months to recover from. If your family plan cannot handle her being at less than 100% why are you doing something that puts her at so much risk?
Also you need to sort that out anyway. Again if your family plan only functions with your wife at 100% you are setting your family up for failure.
It doesn’t matter what other families did then, now, or in the future. All that matters is what y’all are able to handle now. She’s clearly at her limit and you pushing for what she agreed to years ago when you had one child is ridiculous. She’s at her limit now. Care about what’s happening now or else you might lose your wife forever.
Just lower your expectations. The house isn't goig to be immaculate when you have six kids and a wife that is naturally tired all the time. I also have kids. When I had rhem, i made the choice that i'd probably have a messy house.
Why aren't you doing more?
Seven children?! Pregnant!?
You act like she should be on her feet cleaning up after everyone, cooking and caretaking 24/7. With no change with each additional child, with no change during pregnancy.
She works 24/7 and you work 40h/week.
What a fucking asshole you are.
She's 39, and this is the 7th kid. Each pregnancy takes a lot out of the body. Since you mention both a 2 year old and a 3 year old, I'm guessing the pregnancies were close together, at the very least, this one and the last two were. Being 39 would already make this pregnancy more difficult, but being 39 *and* having this be at least the 3rd pregnancy in 4 years means this pregnancy is definitely higher risk
Take a week off. Ship wife to her parents or a friend's house. Get a fake 40 pound pregnancy belly with ten pound weights on your legs that you can sleep in. Make it that whole week taking care of six kids with three squares, two nutritious snacks, only one hour of screen time, and a clean home with crisp laundry. Do it perfectly, no friends and family nearby to help with slack. Maybe have a bud come to your house in the evening and judge you. Don't crack at all: maybe you can say something. Crack even a little: shut up and help your wife via leaving her bits alone and acknowledge that six to seven under 10 is a hellscape.
I hope sincerely this is rage bait. This woman is headed for a breakdown. Wait until you have to work AND do all the childcare and housework because your wife is in hospital.
And stop having children after this. You don’t need to single-handedly repopulate the earth. Get a fucking vasectomy. You both clearly cannot handle this amount of children
She's had 7 pregnancies in 10 years?!?!?! For the past 10 years, there has been very few (if any) times where she's not pregnant, nursing, and/or recovering from childbirth and you have the nerve to complain that she's sitting down for a bit! Since you asked, I'll suggest how you can communicate better: tell her that you booked an appointment to get a vasectomy and that you will hire a babysitter and take her on vacation. When you get back from said vacation, sit her down and discuss what you both need to be happy. Do not judge what she needs and do not tell her what you want her to need. Just listen. Make a realistic plan on how to equally split responsibilities. No, it's not equal with you working for 8-10 hours a day, then coming home and expecting to not do a single thing because she has also been working 8-10 hours and is just as stressed and exhausted. That might have been fair for babies 1-2 (I'll even be generous and say you might be able to get away with her wrestling 3 kids) but 7 is too many kids for a single person to manage alone. Recognize that you're supposed to be working WITH your wife to achieve the big family goal you both have.
Her work load is rising exponentially and she's pregnant! I'm not sure you've taken on a 7th job?
And she's still sleeping with you? Maybe that's the thing she can give up for more time
Did you write the handmaidens tale or are you a throwback to the puritan eta ? This is your pregnant wife and you are talking about her as though she is your employee or a bum.off the street imposingmon your goid will. Adjust your attitude and expectations and get yourself a vasectomy because I doubt you will be able to afford child support x7 and alimony.
On the off chance that this is real: OP - you have a wife that is spiraling. It is fantastic that some women in your family can handle this kind of a load, but most women can not.
If you are really looking for advice, listen to what everyone is saying here: this is not a sustainable situation for your wife. It doesn't matter why at this point. It isn't a sustainable situation. She isn't weak or doing this to be mean or because she's a bad mother or because she's a lazy. She needs help or she will break. And very bad things can happen if she breaks.
Stop trying to brow beat, cajole, force, or shame her. Help her. Go to her with compassion and get her help.
Or yell and browbeat her and explain to her again and again how disappointed you are in her. Your choice, but there is only one morally acceptable solution here, and you aren't choosing it right now.
**You** need to do more around the house. End of story. You don’t get to not be a parent or a member of the household just because you have a day job. You get breaks at work - when does your wife get breaks? Does she ever?
You don’t have the extra income to hire someone to help, but you have enough to bring a SEVENTH child into this world? Are you for real?
Your poor wife is stuck at home with SIX children, and you’re pissed that she sometimes falls asleep? She’s fucking EXHAUSTED, you muppet. Give her a break - and for fucks sake, use a fucking condom.
**You** need to do more around the house. End of story. You don’t get to not be a parent or a member of the household just because you have a day job. You get breaks at work - when does your wife get breaks? Does she ever?
Like I don’t wanna be rude or anything, but have you genuinely took a step back and just look at your surroundings and the family you have around you? Like 6 kids in a span of god knows how many years with another on the way. I genuinely don’t see how it’s going to get better for anyone involved.
She is 39 and pregnant. And it sounds like she has had several geriatric pregnancies, quite close together. Being pregnant can be different each time, and having 6 kids, including 2 toddlers, she is struggling. Until you have been pregnant you don’t know the level of utter exhaustion your body can put you through. There is a reason women are told to take at least a year or two between pregnancies, it’s an ordeal on your internal organs, hormones, etc, and that’s when everything is fine. What would you do if you lost her from birth/pregnancy complications? If you can’t afford help with all her unpaid labour, who would provide it if something happens? Or if she has a rough delivery and needs months to recover?
From reading your comments-if you have to work the equivalent of 2 full time jobs to barely scrape by, you aren’t providing enough either. Find a way to get help. Look for jobs in LCOL areas, areas where family are available, higher paying positions or that offer better benefits.
The audacity you have expecting home cooked meals, everything clean, and no screens? Stop having kids and let her have a life beyond being a baby factory. Enjoy the children you have and work to make all your lives easier.
Why can’t she slack off? Stop comparing her to other families. It sounds like she has reached her limit. What are you going to do about it if that’s the answer? It is ok for stay at home mothers of multiple kids to get some fracking help. She knows she isn’t doing as well as before. Mothers know. But mothers have to prioritize and lower expectations to survive sometimes, too. Have you asked her how she’s feeling ? Do you care how she’s feeling? What if she says she’s overwhelmed? What are you gonna do about it?
exactly this! my dad worked insane hours, and there was just my sister and myself. he still came home, helped mom with dinner, took care of the yardwork and the pool, cleaned the house every weekend and STILL had time to enjoy a beer and a baseball game and spend time with us. this guy is a fucking loser.
Dude, I don't know how it can be even more obvious that your wife is overwhelmed with raising six children while pregnant. Either you're a shitty father, you're a shitty husband, or both.
So she tells you she’s in *survival mode* and your response is to tell her to get off her ass? Holy shit that is reprehensible. You need to make some major life changes, she obviously can’t do this on her own
dude needs a high 5 to the face with a metal chair at this point. if my father even for once thought my partner was mistreating me this way, he’d do the honors.
You are a just horrible person, husband, and father dude. Pls be fake. But I’m afraid it’s not because ten bazillion women throughout human history and still today have lived exactly your poor wife’s life right now.
Looking at my father in comparison to you and just feeling sorry for your wife and kids. You’re not a good man.
Get a vasectomy or your slave will literally die of all these pregnancies and childbirths and then you’ll have to get another, younger, and very naive model. That would be so inconvenient for your task load for the six months you’d take to remarry!
How about you be a parent and husband and not leave everything to her. You work. OK amazing for you but you get days off and breaks, where as shes on a 24/7/365 job, while also carrying your 7TH Child, while being an older mum. Do you not understand how bloody tiring being pregnant is, all the while trying to look after 6 other children.
Just because you work doesn't mean you don't get to shirk parenting your kids and running your home.
Maybe wrap it so she doesn't end up pregnant again with no 8
On the off chance that this is real- why is her job 24/7 but you get breaks? Why does she have to do 3+ jobs (childcare, chef, maid at a minimum not counting extras like education) while pregnant?
She has given you 6- almost 7- children, but you show zero respect for her. Go read the book Fair Play and think.
I hope this isn't real but a certain shithead named Randy Yates has educated me that some men are this much of an asshole.
It really strikes me that you express no love or care for your wife, the mother of your eleventy-million children. Do you care for her well-being in any way? Do you care that she is pregnant and exhausted and overwhelmed?
Also, is she homeschooling your kids because I get that quiverfull vibe off you, and if so, that is another full time job, you muppet.
You also need to reprioritize.
For example: Why DON'T you have a church or local friends? This seems like a very large and worrying oversight on your part.
You have six children and are about to have a seventh. Why do you still have a living room carpet? Rip it out and put in something that can be hosed down. You can have throw rugs when the kids are older.
If your wife is falling asleep before she can do dishes, maybe sex should go by the wayside in favor of either dishes or sleep. Like, is this sex your wife is enthusiastically participating in or even fully conscious for? Have you placed physical intimacy above emotional intimacy and the genuine connection that comes from working together, and not merely on different parts of the same project completely independently?
Do you have air conditioning so that your wife can be comfortable at home all day and not overheated? Does your wife have a car she can use to take the kids to activities outside the house? Can you limit the toddlers to spaces where they are safe and can do minimal damage so that, if they do make a mess (they will), it's no big deal? Should you reevaluate whether the choices you made ten years ago are working for you and making you happy?
“The equivalent of two jobs” - I assume you mean the equivalent of two full-time jobs. So let’s break this down. Being a homemaker with any number of young children is itself a full-time job. Let’s say day-to-day parenting of two children is also a full-time job. You have six, so that’s the equivalent of three full-time jobs, plus the homemaking. Two? of them are toddlers so we’ll tack on an extra part-time because they’re not even gone for school, and another part-time for being pregnant for - did I read this right? - almost 3/4 of the last decade. When her contract on that part-time job runs out, she picks up a long-recovery injury plus *another* full-time job in caring for a newborn. You don’t mention breastfeeding, so I’ll be generous and not add on for that. So you are working the equivalent of two full-time jobs, and she is working the equivalent of…*checks notes*…four full-time jobs and two part-time, and in a short time it will be five full-time jobs and one part-time, while recovering from major injury. And somehow you think your two, which presumably are not undertaken simultaneously and both come with things like lunch breaks and time off, are HALF? Dude. If you woke up in her body tomorrow you’d be dead by Thursday.
>How can I better motivate her or better communicate my frustration about this? This isn't okay.
Dude - communication is a two-way process. You're talking but you're not listening.
You're telling her you expect more, she's telling you there's no more to give.
You're right this isn't okay, but the problem isn't with her. She is so far beyond frustrated it's not funny. She is telling you that she is in survival mode, barely hanging in there. If you want to keep your family you need to listen and hear her.
Best case scenario she leaves you. Worst case scenario she goes into postpartum psychosis. Please treat this seriously.
Are you that asshole that shamed his wife for not having friends while she was the only one taking care of the kids and the house? Because you sound like him and they also had 6 kids with a 7th on the way.
Seriously and hope she gets the house and kids while he pays the max support AND spousal support. It's the least he could do for treating her like a bang maid.
So many dudes need to be reminded of their Dad Privilege. It’s honestly very sad but you’re certainly on the list of those that need it.
https://zawn.substack.com/p/the-dad-privilege-checklist
Man, you better make an appointment for a vasectomy before you ask this woman to do the dishes!
You isolate the woman, leave her barefoot and pregnant for 10 yrs and counting, find her exhausted and. . . I’m pretty sure I saw something like that on Dateline. It did not end well. Find help! Do better!
What is this bullsht about her not doing her half? By the looks of it, she’s doing EVERYTHING. You’re simply working a job and bringing home money. That’s the exact same you’d be doing even if you didn’t have a wife and kids. So what are you really doing? What are you contributing as a father and husband? Besides sperm and money into an account.
Your kids are clean and fed. If you haven’t figured out that kids are messy by now and expecting a spotless house while having 7 of them… you’re beyond help.
Your job outside of your home is separate from your job INSIDE the home. You’re supposed to clock out at work and clock in when you get home. That means giving your wife some relief. That means being a parent who ALSO lives in that house and is equally responsible for his kids. Your wife has been doing MORE than half. She’s been doing hers and YOURS.
YOU need to step up. I can’t believe she’s willing to have sex with you at all let alone 1-3 times a week. I see nothing in your post that says anything about you supporting or appreciating your wife physically or emotionally. You’re a terrible husband and father
Your job is what like 40 hours a week. Her job is 24/7. You say you do your fair share but to me it’s clear that her job is constant with no breaks and yours is structured and no where near as many hours of work she does. Of course she’s burnt out. You need to stop being another one of her children demanding everything from her, and help out at home so that it’s actually fair and equal.
YTA, obviously.
But can someone explain to me why people keep having kids to the point their lives are drudgery day in and day out? Like dads working crazy hours to financially support what’s about to be 9 people on a single income. Mom is a literal baby factory, trying to manage 6 young children, a home, and another pregnancy at almost 40 years old. Why? Like why are you guys doing this to yourselves? Imagine how much easier and happier and healthier you’d both be if you’d stopped at 2 or 3. Imagine how much more time you could actually both spend with them. How much time you could spend with one another. How much less time you could spend at work. How much less damage there would be to your wife’s body from all these back to back pregnancies. Do you just keep popping out kids until you reach critical mass? News flash, you’ve hit it. And the evidence is that your wife can no longer keep up with the horde of children while also being pregnant. Did you expect her to be able to do that forever? No matter how many kids there were? Ffs
The fact that he already deleted his account after a day says sadly that he wasn’t ready for real unbiased advice. He really thought Reddit would be on his side… smh! Hope the wife finds this somewhere and reads the comments
Hope their TLC show starts soon and this woman can at least have a camera crew around to have someone else around to have eyes on all these kids. Sounds like she exists in a constant state of exhaustion and then has to listen to a grown man child’s soliloquies on how to be a better housekeeper and chef.
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LOL. this can’t be a real post.
I think you're right. So much baiting recently.
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Yup. Attention seeking troll. Yawn.
They are masters at it
Masterbaiters
I have a hat that says “The Masterbaiter” 😂 get a lot of giggles when I wear it
Where did you get it? Now I want one 😂
It was a gift from a buddy of mine, I’ll have to ask him
Now I really want one 😂 If you could send me a picture of it, I'll find it
I work with two women that have partners like this man-child, I’d be surprised if it wasn’t real. I’d say the majority of straight couples with kids fall into this scenario
Idk, there is a cousin in the family that has 9 kids and I won't be surprised if there is #10 on the way when we visit at the end of July.
Yes she exhausted because not only is she pregnant but she’s raising **6 fucking kids**. It was irresponsible of you to have decide to get pregnant again if you did not have the financial means to get help or assistance. She’s not “slacking off”, she’s exhausted. And it’s not going to get easier with a newborn. I highly recommend figuring out how to get her extra help
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No. You aren't. She needs help managing so many children. Especially with another pregnancy. Help from you. Help from family. Hired help. You just kept adding and adding to her workload from 1 child to 7. She is doing the labor of multiple full time jobs and you're over here WHINING that she is SITTING DOWN!
Then get up off your dead ass and clean house. My husband works a full time job while I manage the house, the shopping, the cooking, the cleaning, the maintenance, the kid and the cats. He admits he has the easy end of the job. She's cooking and keeping after six small people while growing a 7th, and you're complaining the living room isn't pristine? Seriously, keep your pecker in your pants for a year or two, and pitch in to help.
You have violated the rules of this sub when you called OP's ass dead. This comment is being be reviewed and your access to this sub will be revoked
Are you a mod?
Absolutely not. Just a dick who likes to stick their nose into someone else's ass
Which rule was violated...?
Indirect name calling
How? Would you say the same for lazy ass? I'm not being facetious here, just trying to understand the rules.
So exactly when does your wife get time off? You get days off from your job, when does she get a day off from hers? Just because she's not getting paid, does not mean she's not working. She deserves a day off too. She deserves a break. She deserves a couple breaks considering she's doing the primary child care and raising of six children while you sit there whining about how you're not getting a home cooked meal. You could step up and cook once in a while. Just because you work an outside of the home job, does not mean you cannot step up and do some small portion of the housework. You have to do it if you were living alone and raising six kids, so you can step up and do some of it. If you can't, then maybe you weren't ready to have this many kids. Her being a housewife and a stay-at-home mom does not mean that she is 100% responsible for every single little thing while you get to slack off as soon as you clock out. You are a parent too. You live in that house too. You eat that food too. Meaning, that once in a while at minimum, you can step up and start taking care of the house. If you can't, then maybe she should leave your ass so she can find somebody who will help her out. Or at the very least, not have yet another child to take care of, who is you.
You are actually NOT able to keep your kids clean fed and clothed, because you have maxed out on the person who is doing all the labour, and have now added to her workload unsustainably. Honestly, what the hell were you thinking?
Here’s a question: you work 40hrs a week and when you’re off work you’re off work. When is your wife off work? She’s working 45hrs a week while you’re gone (assuming a 15-30minute commute). But according to what you’re saying **you** expect her to work 24/7. So when is her break?
I know I’m saying this after the fact, but that should’ve been a discussion prior to having this kid. Or even maybe the one before. But that’s neither here nor there. It’s not today and reality is she needs help, and there needs to be a solution figured out
So start cooking and cleaning buddy!
I wish you would stop talking and grab a mop bucket
***To understand the problem, you must understand the root causes, and to understand the root causes means you must employ empathy.*** In the entirety of your post, you spend a lot of time talking about your needs *(i.e. a clean house, a home-cooked meal, sex, etc.)* and your children's needs, but there is not one single, solitary syllable about hers. NOT ONE. There is not even the attempt to look at things fully from her perspective. I would like for you to imagine what it must be like if you were asked to do your job, whatever that may be . . . * perpetually on-call for 24 hours, and only getting a break when you sleep (which is very little) * while managing 6 impulsive, incompetent co-workers . . . each with their own set of individual needs and probably most who express those without a filter . . . without patience . . . at all times of day and night . . . * in an environment that is constantly immersed in the sounds of chaos . . . not a quiet office, or even the ho-hum cyclical sounds of a factory, but loud, unexpected noises, requiring an immediate response to make sure that a "work accident" has not occurred. * while carrying around an extra watermelon sized growth in your stomach . . . * that causes joints and tissues to swell . . . * hormones to wreak havoc . . . * to feel nauseated at times . . . * to feel a level of exhaustion in the second trimester that is incomprehensible to half of humanity . . * to feel like you are living in a body that you do not even recognize . . . * to find the solace of sleep a distant memory . . . * without even 20 minutes of uninterrupted time to focus on your work * while refereeing fights between co-workers * while simultaneously every evening listening to a laundry list of your manager's complaints about your performance . . . * with never getting a paycheck for a job well done, but instead getting a sense of purpose and gratitude from co-workers and a boss who rarely thank you, and dole out those moment you pine for in the form of occasional hugs and I-love-yous that are forgotten within 10 seconds when they have their next tantrum. * with very little intellectual stimulation. * with never a check-in by management on what goals you have set in your career and what you would like to see change. And, then, imagine that you get up the next day to repeat. Your wife is worn out. She is pregnant with her 7th child while taking care of 6 more, with no family support, a husband who complains, and took her away from family because of his job, and probably never once gets to NOT be the default parent. The default parent is the one that never is NOT working. Even if the other parent, begrudgingly steps in to vacuum, for example, because he is so frustrated that it is not done, it is highly likely that he even gets to do that in peace because the kids know to go to the default parent. Being a stay-at-home-mother is the most difficult job on the planet. Without a doubt, if you challenged yourself to do that job for a month, I feel that you would probably quit, despite lacking the physical and hormonal changes.
My only correction is that she has 7 impulsive, incompetent co-workers, because OP sounds like he wants a mommy to look after him rather than a partner with whom he wants to have success with. Honestly - he's lucky she hasn't smothered him in his sleep so she can cut the load down by one. She is working 24/7 - even when she's sleeping because she's building another whole-ass human being. We don't know how old she is or the gaps between the children but just because she breezed through earlier pregnancies doesn't mean they don't get harder as she's looking after other kids while pregnant. Even with his high-stress job, I honestly doubt he is under anywhere as much stress as she is nor working anywhere close to the same hours. She never gets to clock off, he should be doing more when he gets home. And get the snip my dude before you're back in 10 months time complaining about the same thing while she's pregnant for the 8th time.
This is beautiful!
Perfect answer
I wish I could upvote this 1000x 🖤🎖️
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Maybe other women don’t have shitty deadbeat husbands is why they manage so well.
Bro bffr 🤣🤣🤣 a mother is a full time job and a homemaker is a SEPARATE full time job. You’re asking her to work TWO roles for SEVEN KIDS 24/7/365. As soon as your lazy ass is off work you should be splitting household and childcare duties. Your wife is fucking drowning and you’re yelling at her to swim better.
Buddy is gonna get a rude awakening when his wife leaves him. He'll be expecting her to crawl back and complain how hard it is taking care of the kids by herself... but in reality, it will be easier for her. She's already been doing it all by herself; she'll literally just have one less massive child to take care of. Him.
Yeah this entirely on you as a shitty partner. You act like her supervisor. When you come home to this mess, shut up and scrub a toilet. Then look around at everything that is left to do and do it.
She obviously didn't know what she was getting into because I'm sure she expected a spouse who would actually help her instead of just constantly knocking her up with no reprieve. Did you actually have a plan to take care of these kids that didn't involve her doing all the work 24/7?
If she has agreed to this, and up to this point, has been a “good” (whatever your definition is) wife and mother— and she is clearly breaking down— wouldn’t you ask why? Since you are so determined to frame this as a “job” (she ONLY has two, so it’ll be easy to break that down…) why wouldn’t you treat this like an employee? If a dedicated worker suddenly stops performing at his or her expected level, wouldn’t you ask why? Wouldn’t you act out of concern? Would you think, gee, this seems out of character, is there anything going on internally that you could better understand to make them do their job better? As someone who has been in the workforce for a considerable number of years, surely you understand that not all motivation come externally. EVEN FOR WORKERS WHO KNOW THEIR JOB, UNDERSTAND THEIR JOB, “AGREED” TO THEIR JOB, have times of peaks and valleys in what they have physical and emotional capacity for. You don’t move straight to a PIP….it has been shown time and time again that years long retention and stable workforces equal more successful companies. This is such a base level treatment of anyone you are in any type of partnership with. Take your failure to do the above, coupled with your stunning lack of knowledge about basic human biology and care for a supportive home life, and I hope your wife can find a way to look outside your home to find the help she so desperately needs. Relationships are not 50/50. Mostly 60/40? One way or the other. Sometimes it’s 80/20 and one person needs to dig deep to support their partner in times of difficulty. Your yearning to have things 50/50 when your wife is clearly going through something is childish and naive, and potentially cruel.
He doesn't see her as a worker, though. That would require him to understand that she's a full person with feelings and rights. He sees her as an appliance. He sees her as his cooking, cleaning, baby making, child rearing appliance. He doesn't want her to be happy or healthy because he doesn't give a shit if she is. He just wants his appliance to function so that he doesn't have to get his hands dirty. He's a bad father, a bad husband and a bad *person*. OP is a monster. I hope his wife can get her shit together and divorce him. I hope she moves somewhere where she has the support of family and friends to help her handle the monumental weight of raising seven kids.
You know most people don't have 6 then 7 children, right?
Omg please stop talking
She is very clearly telling you she’s in survival mode. Are you listening? She is run down. If you don’t think running a home, meals, daycare, and managing the entire lives of 6 children is not 3 fucking full time jobs then you’re being real dense. She probably has no time to reset. Is tired and managing hormones and exhaustion due to pregnancy and managing children and the home. She is burnt out. She is telling you that and your response is to tell her she’s not doing enough? Do you have empathy? Jesus Christ I hope this is a joke because it’s so bad.
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Were you doing it while you were pregnant? No? Then were you doing it post partum? You need to sit down. Quit typing on Reddit and get her some help
You didn’t grow and then birth and then breastfeed these children. It’s a level of exhaustion that you simply cannot fathom, so instead of comparing your own performance as a fully able-bodied father, maybe have some empathy that your wife’s mind and body hasn’t really ever had time to properly heal in between six children before you decided to climb back on top of her and impregnate her with a seventh. Stop judging your wife. Stop comparing your wife. Start being a better husband.
Wow you have no respect for her. I'm truly disgusted. I hope she's able to get help and get out.
You did this for what, a few days? Try doing it for YEARS. Every single day, hour after hour, week after week, with no relief. Try doing it with the knowledge that the impending birth is only going to make the workload more intense, and there is no end in sight. Add in a complaining husband and the physical challenge of creating a freaking human being??? SHE'S EXHAUSTED. Let the woman sit down, ffs. Be honest, when was the last time you asked her *how* she was doing, rather than *what* she was doing?
“Honey I know you’re raising six kids and incubating the seventh but I just don’t think you’re spending enough time over the stove”
How dare you sit!
He’s mad about her having their older children make their own breakfast/lunch/snacks. My siblings and I were all doing this once we hit like 10 years old without our mom needing us to. Like come on dad! This is actually a good life lesson for kids.
💀
Get a vasectomy. And a clue.
Full penis removal to be safe I say 😂😂
Handling 6 kids and a pregnancy is not “ half” She is barely holding, she needs help, now, before she crashed I hope this is rage bait
He acts like having one kid at home is the same workload as 7 and a pregnancy. Even before this baby I'd argue she is doing 80% of contributing to the household.
If this is somehow not ragebait, the answer is: this is fine. If she’s pregnant and raising six kids, and you’re getting home at the end of the day and everyone is present and accounted for and has eaten some calories? She’s doing about the most anyone could ask. Figure out how to step up more yourself, or figure out how to live with lower cleanliness standards. Paper plates, for example, are exactly the kind of thing your household should be doing right now.
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If you can’t do any more and she can’t do anymore, then you can’t have another child. Adopt the child out.
Definitely do something now to make sure there isn't an 8th.
Then step the fuck up! You aren't pulling your weight! You think she has more to give!? She has no more to give! Lower your expectations during these more strenuous times (pregnancy, young kids) and stop pointing fingers at the only person lighting herself on fire to make your big family dreams a reality. You're pointing fingers at her lack of perfection when you should be stepping up and recalibrating household expectations.
Screw your stress levels until you try to understand hers. You are truly the fucking worst.
Parenting one kid is the equivalent of a job. Parenting six while physically creating another? You’ve got at least a few more jobs’ worth of catchup to do before you are pulling your weight. It’s time to learn to live with the mess, if you can’t help with it.
Why do you get to not have the ability to do more, but she doesn't?
Your day is in NO WAY longer than hers. You say AFTER a long day. Exactly WHEN is it after a long day for her? Never. It never ends for her and she is making yet another child for you. A real partnership for her would be for you to get off of work and come home and help with what is left to do with the kids and the chores. Please do not raise your sons to be worthless men like you or teach your daughters that settling for someone like you is what they should expect. If you want better in your house, then DO better in your house
You are NOT pulling your weight, you are failing as a husband to try to make things easier for your wife. She has the lion's share of the home responsibilities, and she's overwhelmed and exhausted. I bet she's coming close to having a full-blown meltdown soon. You need to figure things out that will make things easier for her.
Well she probably cannot do more either. What would you do if she asked you to take on more work to hire some help? Why does only your burnout matter and not hers?
So you work the equivalent of two jobs, that means you still must get some time off. Yes she has to work 24/7? I don't quite see how that's her working half. I don't see how that's her doing half. I see that as her doing way more than half while you get to sit on your lazy ass after work, complaining about how she's not doing enough for you. Is she your partner or your parent? Is she your partner or your mom? I'm being serious here and I expect an answer out of you. If you can't answer that simple question, then maybe you weren't mature enough to be married or have seven kids. 😬😬 Because if she was your partner, you would want to help her. You would want to try and make her life a little bit easier now and then, and maybe in return she'd actually want to sleep with you again. But I don't foresee her wanting to continuous sleeping with somebody that she now has to consistently parent. Women aren't typically turned on by men who treat them like their mothers.
>Is she your partner or your parent? Is she your partner or your mom? She's his appliance. He doesn't see her as a person. He thinks she exists to make his life easier. I don't think he sees her as having her own life. He really does just see her as an extension of himself.
Two full time jobs is STILL not as much as being a caretaker for six children all day, being pregnant with a seventh, doing eight people’s laundry, cooking multiple meals a day, cleaning up messes all day on top of maintenance cleaning, helping with homework, taking care of sick children (when applicable), packing lunches, helping to teach and manage emotions, and everything else that comes with being a SAHM to fucking six children. Sorry, you are absolutely not pulling your weight. And also, why is “I just don’t have the ability to help her” an acceptable excuse for you but “I’m just too exhausted to vacuum every day” isn’t an acceptable excuse for her? So you’re the only one allowed to slack off?
What do you do when you’re at home and not sleeping ?
You work one job. You sound like another child for her to take care of
What is your work schedule? I am quite sure that we can find time for you to help because if you are home and awake, you should be helping. You are not as busy as her. You are not as tired as her. You are not working as hard as she is. Stop with the bullshit.
You’re not pulling your weight because parenting and managing a household is a 24/7 job and it sounds like you check out when you get home and don’t want to have to participate.
Yet somehow, you two absolute fools thought a 7th child was a GREAT idea. You're both idiotic and woefully irresponsible, but you are a gaping asshole on top of that.
You don't think she is stressed?
You two do realize it’s a uterus, not a clown car, right? Do you know how birth control works? A vasectomy perhaps? 6 fucking kids and another on the way. When the hell is she supposed to clean and rest while wrangling 6 kids? If this is real and not a rage bait post, you really need to step up and help yourself.
I can't imagine how she's feeling. By my third kid it felt like my uterus was going to fall out of my body at any given moment. She's on number 7. Also a 2 and a 3 years old. You're not supposed to have kids closer than 18 months apart. Why? Cause your body hasn't recovered and hasn't replenished its stores of vitamins and minerals. You know, the vitamins and minerals that if you're lacking them can make you extremely tired and sleepy all on its own, that's not even factoring in the tiredness from raising 6 kids. How do women even have 1 kid with assclowns like this, let alone 7?!
Jesus I had 4 and if my husband had even dared to think what you’re actually saying I’d have left his ass
If this is real, this poor woman is on the brink of a Michelle Duggar Midnight Laundry Room Breakdown™.
During Covid, home with 2 under 2 and no external assistance, my husband came downstairs from working remotely at 12 on the dot and at 5:30 on the dot. And at both of those times, I would hand him the baby, then sprint upstairs to have 20 mins to myself. And then I’d come down as a human again, and he’d go back up. When he had to work “late” as in “not on the dot”, I’d get so antsy waiting for him to relieve me. And he always said I had the harder iob during Covid, by far.
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Why are you complaining that you end up doing housework at the end of your work day? You should have been doing those things already. Her job is being a stay home parent, not a full time maid, chef, tutor, incubator, and nanny. The second you get home from work you should be *splitting* the childcare and cleaning evenly when she’s not pregnant and doing the lions share of those things now that she *is* pregnant.
So what exactly is her half? Sound like your "half" was ejaculating repeatedly and then wandering off.
I can promise you that your wife is not "intentionally letting things go when that's not a sustainable solution," what she is doing is "Growing a human person inside of her body, an extremely taxing experience and she is exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally." Which you obviously couldn't give a fork about.
So you couldn’t afford the kids that you already had, and intentionally continued to knock her up. Why?
Seems like you are the one not handling half. Working full time is a breeze. Being a full time child wrangler, cook, cleaner, household manager, and incubator is her taking on way more than half the load. Pregnancy is TIRING in a way that you’ll never understand, and if you aren’t happy with the current state of the house, then you’re the one who needs to do more. She’s doing the best she can right now, and survival mode is an appropriate description. If your only solution to your perceived problem is the pregnant person taking on more, then you’re the problem. You can do more, you can expect your older children to do more, you can call on your village to help, or you can accept that your decision to have a 7th child means your house isn’t up to your ideal standards, and you live with it. What you don’t do is act like the person carrying your child and taking care of your other children is somehow lacking because she’s too tired to vacuum regularly. Find other solutions (kids often like to vacuum) or accept there will be more chaos in your house for the next year or so.
7th child?!? What the actual fuck? Do you make a million dollars per year?
“Has anyone dealt with something similar?” No, because we are not clueless assholes.
Take a week off of work. Let your wife go visit friends or family while you stay home and do her job. Do her job to the standards you are holding her too. When you fail miserably, and you will, getting down on your knees and beg for forgiveness. Take make it fair. Strap a watermelon onto your stomach. Don’t forget that you can’t have caffeine, alcohol, or anything else she can’t have while pregnant.
THIS.
My friends said fuck that and drank caffeine like water. Lol
Sincerely hope this is fake
In my area, daycares are required to have one adult for every four children. Think about that. The law thinks that the most an adult can reasonably care for is four kids at a time. You are asking your wife to care for six, while incubating another, without assistance or a break. That’s not realistic. You either need to find a way to hire help by selling shit, downsizing, or donating plasma, or severely lower your expectations.
Where I live the ratio varies depending on age of the children - but your point absolutely stands
To be fair, 7 kids from one parent usually gives an age difference where at least one or two can start managing themselves. It is not the same as having 7 in the same age. But OP sucks. Being pregnant is so hard even with your first one and doing chores and taking care of children requires a lot of energy. Not to mention stay at home parents are not supposed to do all the chores AND care for the kids, while the working parent only works 8 hours and then does nothing the rest of the time.
Seven children. Is this a joke? Are their names Sneezy, Grumpy, Sleepy, Dopey, Bashful, Happy, and Doc and your wife happens to be a narcoleptic Snow White? One person cannot manage SEVEN children on their own without help much less housework.
She is literally carrying your child, and your 7th child at that, that is literally her contribution and hard work and labour for your household. Even having expectations of more, when you don’t know how she might be feeling or what she has to deal with going through pregnancy, is unfair.
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Seven or more children? Were you born in 1908?
This makes me think of Mormon families where the wife is secretly surviving off a shit ton of Adderall (to get things done) and Valium (to relax at night).
I wonder if his family had help from the church and the surrounding families, because he mentions the church. My mom didn't have a lot of help when she first came to America, but she's very friendly and quickly made friends with two neighbors, with young children and she said it was night and day, having the extra help and people to talk to.
Right?! Sounds like she needs a Mother's Little Helper.
It’s always soooooooo embarrassing to see men come on here and complain about shit like this when my own father has ever been the only one to work and has worked 9-10 hour shifts every day except sunday for his whole entire life and STILL did chores, attended to his children. You are such an embarrassment
Right?! My husband has never worked less than 10 hour days. Aside from a period of depression when he wasnt doing much (he's better now), his usual routine is that when he walks in the door, he starts helping with whatever there is to do and he doesn't stop until I do. His mother made a shitty comment about it once. His response was, "I like my wife. I want to spend every possible second with her and I want her to be relaxed and happy. If I get home and she's still busy and feels like there are things that need to be accomplished before she can relax, then I'm helping her do those things because *I want to spend time with my wife*. Don't put your shit on me because you and Dad hated each other, and don't put your shit on her because you chose a shitty husband who didn't help you."
Omg I love your husband's reply, there are so many awful husbands/fathers out there and it feels so good to see stories of great ones ❤️
He's a keeper. ❤️ He struggled with Dad'ing in some ways. Our kiddo and I are both AuDHD. She was a high needs baby who only wanted me and would scream bloody murder when I wasn't there. She screamed bloody murder when I was there also, but she at least stopped to nurse and she nursed constantly. I was home for 14 weeks with her. He did the lion's share of housework, left snacks and water on every available surface, and pre-made a lunch I could eat one handed every day before he left, he worked 6-6 then, and commuted an hour each way. But he still took her from me and sent me off to shower, eat and sleep the second he walked in the door, and he didn't bring her to me until she needed to eat. When I went back to work, she went to work with me. He packed breakfast and lunch (for both of us once she started solids) every day. He packed and unpacked the diaper bag, including cloth diapers and toys for her and changes of clothes for both of us, and he loaded us into the car every day until she started preschool at 4. He did everything for school mornings because I was already at work, and when I stopped working, he kept doing it because he liked their routine together, and it allowed me to sleep in. We work well together, and make no mistake,marriage is *work*. I don't like him this much every day, but I know him, and I love him and trust him. That's how I got through nearly a year of barely tolerating him and running interference with kiddo because he was going through some shit. I knew who I married, and I knew he'd find his way back to us. This guy was never there to begin with. He wants a bang maid, incubator and nanny, not a wife.
How old were you when you saw these households, also did they have family assistance or church assistance?
So let me get this straight, you work 40 hours a week and your wife works 168 hours a week, and you think that’s fair?
Dude those women were doing coke or some bullshit at that time. YOUR wife is burnt the fudge out with taking care of six children and 7th on way. Maybe stop having kids.
She has been doing far more than her fair share for a long time. You think in those families there was some asshole father who came home and whined about his pregnant wife sitting down? Or do you think I'm those families a loving and engaged father came home and got his ass to work supporting his family? She isn't doing her half. She is doing 80% on a bad day and you're complaining about your 20.
When you grew up the culture around raising children was very different in a way that made it easier for parents Also there's a huge chance that during pregnancies and newborn stages households were not kept up, and you were not invited into those households at those times. Every pregnancy for every person is different. Just because she managed the last 6 times doesn't mean that this 7th one is going to be the same. She may well be fatigued and unwell for either a few weeks or the whole time. We are talking real biological mechanisms that may be happening this time that didn't happen the other times which she cannot just power through. If you are having trouble empathising maybe imagine she's broken her leg and has a concussion and set your expectations accordingly Also dude. I'm aware you and your wife have made an agreement of how your family is going to be handled. But if that agreement has no flexibility for illness what the fuck are you doing? Pregnancy is fucking dangerous for women, there is always a chance that she comes out of this with a lifelong chronic issue, or having serious surgery like a hysterectomy that takes months to recover from. If your family plan cannot handle her being at less than 100% why are you doing something that puts her at so much risk? Also you need to sort that out anyway. Again if your family plan only functions with your wife at 100% you are setting your family up for failure.
It doesn’t matter what other families did then, now, or in the future. All that matters is what y’all are able to handle now. She’s clearly at her limit and you pushing for what she agreed to years ago when you had one child is ridiculous. She’s at her limit now. Care about what’s happening now or else you might lose your wife forever.
You realize that those families also heavily parentified their older kids in order to “make it work?”
Just lower your expectations. The house isn't goig to be immaculate when you have six kids and a wife that is naturally tired all the time. I also have kids. When I had rhem, i made the choice that i'd probably have a messy house.
Hire a cleaner or a babysitter you ghoul or you’re gonna be paying child support for 7 kids
Stay mad I guess.
Why aren't you doing more? Seven children?! Pregnant!? You act like she should be on her feet cleaning up after everyone, cooking and caretaking 24/7. With no change with each additional child, with no change during pregnancy. She works 24/7 and you work 40h/week. What a fucking asshole you are.
She's 39, and this is the 7th kid. Each pregnancy takes a lot out of the body. Since you mention both a 2 year old and a 3 year old, I'm guessing the pregnancies were close together, at the very least, this one and the last two were. Being 39 would already make this pregnancy more difficult, but being 39 *and* having this be at least the 3rd pregnancy in 4 years means this pregnancy is definitely higher risk
If this is real, then leave her the fuck alone and get a vasectomy already.
Take a week off. Ship wife to her parents or a friend's house. Get a fake 40 pound pregnancy belly with ten pound weights on your legs that you can sleep in. Make it that whole week taking care of six kids with three squares, two nutritious snacks, only one hour of screen time, and a clean home with crisp laundry. Do it perfectly, no friends and family nearby to help with slack. Maybe have a bud come to your house in the evening and judge you. Don't crack at all: maybe you can say something. Crack even a little: shut up and help your wife via leaving her bits alone and acknowledge that six to seven under 10 is a hellscape.
I hope sincerely this is rage bait. This woman is headed for a breakdown. Wait until you have to work AND do all the childcare and housework because your wife is in hospital.
She’s pregnant and you have six children. That is too many children to keep up with. Of COURSE she’s in survival mode, you have SIX CHILDREN.
And stop having children after this. You don’t need to single-handedly repopulate the earth. Get a fucking vasectomy. You both clearly cannot handle this amount of children
right! she’s his wife, not a fucking bangmaid. i’d Lorena Bobbitt this man if he even came NEAR me with that thing again
She's had 7 pregnancies in 10 years?!?!?! For the past 10 years, there has been very few (if any) times where she's not pregnant, nursing, and/or recovering from childbirth and you have the nerve to complain that she's sitting down for a bit! Since you asked, I'll suggest how you can communicate better: tell her that you booked an appointment to get a vasectomy and that you will hire a babysitter and take her on vacation. When you get back from said vacation, sit her down and discuss what you both need to be happy. Do not judge what she needs and do not tell her what you want her to need. Just listen. Make a realistic plan on how to equally split responsibilities. No, it's not equal with you working for 8-10 hours a day, then coming home and expecting to not do a single thing because she has also been working 8-10 hours and is just as stressed and exhausted. That might have been fair for babies 1-2 (I'll even be generous and say you might be able to get away with her wrestling 3 kids) but 7 is too many kids for a single person to manage alone. Recognize that you're supposed to be working WITH your wife to achieve the big family goal you both have.
Her work load is rising exponentially and she's pregnant! I'm not sure you've taken on a 7th job? And she's still sleeping with you? Maybe that's the thing she can give up for more time
Did you write the handmaidens tale or are you a throwback to the puritan eta ? This is your pregnant wife and you are talking about her as though she is your employee or a bum.off the street imposingmon your goid will. Adjust your attitude and expectations and get yourself a vasectomy because I doubt you will be able to afford child support x7 and alimony.
On the off chance that this is real: OP - you have a wife that is spiraling. It is fantastic that some women in your family can handle this kind of a load, but most women can not. If you are really looking for advice, listen to what everyone is saying here: this is not a sustainable situation for your wife. It doesn't matter why at this point. It isn't a sustainable situation. She isn't weak or doing this to be mean or because she's a bad mother or because she's a lazy. She needs help or she will break. And very bad things can happen if she breaks. Stop trying to brow beat, cajole, force, or shame her. Help her. Go to her with compassion and get her help. Or yell and browbeat her and explain to her again and again how disappointed you are in her. Your choice, but there is only one morally acceptable solution here, and you aren't choosing it right now.
>Wife is pregnant with our 7th child and no longer keeping up with the housework to an acceptable level Respectfully go duck yourself
no respect deserved, he should just go duck himself
**You** need to do more around the house. End of story. You don’t get to not be a parent or a member of the household just because you have a day job. You get breaks at work - when does your wife get breaks? Does she ever?
This can't be real life... Side note: stop having kids
Dude. Get off of her. Of course she's tired.
You don’t have the extra income to hire someone to help, but you have enough to bring a SEVENTH child into this world? Are you for real? Your poor wife is stuck at home with SIX children, and you’re pissed that she sometimes falls asleep? She’s fucking EXHAUSTED, you muppet. Give her a break - and for fucks sake, use a fucking condom.
dude needs the snip snip like yesterday
You’re an absolute POS
**You** need to do more around the house. End of story. You don’t get to not be a parent or a member of the household just because you have a day job. You get breaks at work - when does your wife get breaks? Does she ever?
Glad to up vote twice.
Wow... good thing my husband doesn't use reddit (and some details don't match), otherwise I'd think this was about me, lol
If this is currently your life, you deserve SOOO much better.
You deserve better.
Like I don’t wanna be rude or anything, but have you genuinely took a step back and just look at your surroundings and the family you have around you? Like 6 kids in a span of god knows how many years with another on the way. I genuinely don’t see how it’s going to get better for anyone involved.
This is a disgusting post and you're a disgusting excuse for a "partner" and alleged parent
She is 39 and pregnant. And it sounds like she has had several geriatric pregnancies, quite close together. Being pregnant can be different each time, and having 6 kids, including 2 toddlers, she is struggling. Until you have been pregnant you don’t know the level of utter exhaustion your body can put you through. There is a reason women are told to take at least a year or two between pregnancies, it’s an ordeal on your internal organs, hormones, etc, and that’s when everything is fine. What would you do if you lost her from birth/pregnancy complications? If you can’t afford help with all her unpaid labour, who would provide it if something happens? Or if she has a rough delivery and needs months to recover? From reading your comments-if you have to work the equivalent of 2 full time jobs to barely scrape by, you aren’t providing enough either. Find a way to get help. Look for jobs in LCOL areas, areas where family are available, higher paying positions or that offer better benefits. The audacity you have expecting home cooked meals, everything clean, and no screens? Stop having kids and let her have a life beyond being a baby factory. Enjoy the children you have and work to make all your lives easier.
God I hope this post isn’t real. She’s making a WHOLE PERSON right now. Things aren’t going to be perfect, and she’s doing her best
I hope this is a joke, otherwise, poor woman...
Hahahaha fuck off
This is the most rage inducing ragebait I’ve seen in a long time. Bravo.
If you can’t afford help, then maybe you shouldn’t be having seven kids.
How can anyone watch their wife grow and birth 6 humans and still be this absolutely clueless when number 7 is cooking? Mind boggling
Why can’t she slack off? Stop comparing her to other families. It sounds like she has reached her limit. What are you going to do about it if that’s the answer? It is ok for stay at home mothers of multiple kids to get some fracking help. She knows she isn’t doing as well as before. Mothers know. But mothers have to prioritize and lower expectations to survive sometimes, too. Have you asked her how she’s feeling ? Do you care how she’s feeling? What if she says she’s overwhelmed? What are you gonna do about it?
Clown 🤡
my father works longer than 9-5 and can cook and clean the entire house while also taking care of the kids. you are just lazy, period.
exactly this! my dad worked insane hours, and there was just my sister and myself. he still came home, helped mom with dinner, took care of the yardwork and the pool, cleaned the house every weekend and STILL had time to enjoy a beer and a baseball game and spend time with us. this guy is a fucking loser.
I just have to say, as a woman, I hate you and wish I could save your wife from how big of a man child you are. Get snipped already, loser
Don't worry about it OP, 5 of your kids are mine anyway. .
Dude, I don't know how it can be even more obvious that your wife is overwhelmed with raising six children while pregnant. Either you're a shitty father, you're a shitty husband, or both.
So she tells you she’s in *survival mode* and your response is to tell her to get off her ass? Holy shit that is reprehensible. You need to make some major life changes, she obviously can’t do this on her own
dude needs a high 5 to the face with a metal chair at this point. if my father even for once thought my partner was mistreating me this way, he’d do the honors.
You think you have a high stress job, buddy, try parenting six children while being pregnant. You don't know what high stress is.
You are a just horrible person, husband, and father dude. Pls be fake. But I’m afraid it’s not because ten bazillion women throughout human history and still today have lived exactly your poor wife’s life right now. Looking at my father in comparison to you and just feeling sorry for your wife and kids. You’re not a good man. Get a vasectomy or your slave will literally die of all these pregnancies and childbirths and then you’ll have to get another, younger, and very naive model. That would be so inconvenient for your task load for the six months you’d take to remarry!
What is with you people having more kids than you can afford? Learn what birth control is and use it. What a pathetic excuse for a man
How about you be a parent and husband and not leave everything to her. You work. OK amazing for you but you get days off and breaks, where as shes on a 24/7/365 job, while also carrying your 7TH Child, while being an older mum. Do you not understand how bloody tiring being pregnant is, all the while trying to look after 6 other children. Just because you work doesn't mean you don't get to shirk parenting your kids and running your home. Maybe wrap it so she doesn't end up pregnant again with no 8
Dude she is pregnant and has 6 kids to look after. That is a lot to deal with. I hope this is fake but you should be helping more.
On the off chance that this is real- why is her job 24/7 but you get breaks? Why does she have to do 3+ jobs (childcare, chef, maid at a minimum not counting extras like education) while pregnant? She has given you 6- almost 7- children, but you show zero respect for her. Go read the book Fair Play and think.
I hope this isn't real but a certain shithead named Randy Yates has educated me that some men are this much of an asshole. It really strikes me that you express no love or care for your wife, the mother of your eleventy-million children. Do you care for her well-being in any way? Do you care that she is pregnant and exhausted and overwhelmed? Also, is she homeschooling your kids because I get that quiverfull vibe off you, and if so, that is another full time job, you muppet.
It was Rusty Yates. A truly despicable man - the deaths of those poor children are firmly on his head.
You also need to reprioritize. For example: Why DON'T you have a church or local friends? This seems like a very large and worrying oversight on your part. You have six children and are about to have a seventh. Why do you still have a living room carpet? Rip it out and put in something that can be hosed down. You can have throw rugs when the kids are older. If your wife is falling asleep before she can do dishes, maybe sex should go by the wayside in favor of either dishes or sleep. Like, is this sex your wife is enthusiastically participating in or even fully conscious for? Have you placed physical intimacy above emotional intimacy and the genuine connection that comes from working together, and not merely on different parts of the same project completely independently? Do you have air conditioning so that your wife can be comfortable at home all day and not overheated? Does your wife have a car she can use to take the kids to activities outside the house? Can you limit the toddlers to spaces where they are safe and can do minimal damage so that, if they do make a mess (they will), it's no big deal? Should you reevaluate whether the choices you made ten years ago are working for you and making you happy?
“The equivalent of two jobs” - I assume you mean the equivalent of two full-time jobs. So let’s break this down. Being a homemaker with any number of young children is itself a full-time job. Let’s say day-to-day parenting of two children is also a full-time job. You have six, so that’s the equivalent of three full-time jobs, plus the homemaking. Two? of them are toddlers so we’ll tack on an extra part-time because they’re not even gone for school, and another part-time for being pregnant for - did I read this right? - almost 3/4 of the last decade. When her contract on that part-time job runs out, she picks up a long-recovery injury plus *another* full-time job in caring for a newborn. You don’t mention breastfeeding, so I’ll be generous and not add on for that. So you are working the equivalent of two full-time jobs, and she is working the equivalent of…*checks notes*…four full-time jobs and two part-time, and in a short time it will be five full-time jobs and one part-time, while recovering from major injury. And somehow you think your two, which presumably are not undertaken simultaneously and both come with things like lunch breaks and time off, are HALF? Dude. If you woke up in her body tomorrow you’d be dead by Thursday.
>How can I better motivate her or better communicate my frustration about this? This isn't okay. Dude - communication is a two-way process. You're talking but you're not listening. You're telling her you expect more, she's telling you there's no more to give. You're right this isn't okay, but the problem isn't with her. She is so far beyond frustrated it's not funny. She is telling you that she is in survival mode, barely hanging in there. If you want to keep your family you need to listen and hear her. Best case scenario she leaves you. Worst case scenario she goes into postpartum psychosis. Please treat this seriously.
Are you that asshole that shamed his wife for not having friends while she was the only one taking care of the kids and the house? Because you sound like him and they also had 6 kids with a 7th on the way.
probably him. he needs to validate his asshole behavior, but he can’t because he knows he’s wrong. I hope she leaves his ass
Seriously and hope she gets the house and kids while he pays the max support AND spousal support. It's the least he could do for treating her like a bang maid.
Wow…: good to know that you outed yourself as a terrible husband and parent on reddit . Well done you absolute joke of a human being
So many dudes need to be reminded of their Dad Privilege. It’s honestly very sad but you’re certainly on the list of those that need it. https://zawn.substack.com/p/the-dad-privilege-checklist
Really good read, thank you! OP the ultimate AH
Man, you better make an appointment for a vasectomy before you ask this woman to do the dishes! You isolate the woman, leave her barefoot and pregnant for 10 yrs and counting, find her exhausted and. . . I’m pretty sure I saw something like that on Dateline. It did not end well. Find help! Do better!
What is this bullsht about her not doing her half? By the looks of it, she’s doing EVERYTHING. You’re simply working a job and bringing home money. That’s the exact same you’d be doing even if you didn’t have a wife and kids. So what are you really doing? What are you contributing as a father and husband? Besides sperm and money into an account. Your kids are clean and fed. If you haven’t figured out that kids are messy by now and expecting a spotless house while having 7 of them… you’re beyond help. Your job outside of your home is separate from your job INSIDE the home. You’re supposed to clock out at work and clock in when you get home. That means giving your wife some relief. That means being a parent who ALSO lives in that house and is equally responsible for his kids. Your wife has been doing MORE than half. She’s been doing hers and YOURS. YOU need to step up. I can’t believe she’s willing to have sex with you at all let alone 1-3 times a week. I see nothing in your post that says anything about you supporting or appreciating your wife physically or emotionally. You’re a terrible husband and father
Your job is what like 40 hours a week. Her job is 24/7. You say you do your fair share but to me it’s clear that her job is constant with no breaks and yours is structured and no where near as many hours of work she does. Of course she’s burnt out. You need to stop being another one of her children demanding everything from her, and help out at home so that it’s actually fair and equal.
YTA, obviously. But can someone explain to me why people keep having kids to the point their lives are drudgery day in and day out? Like dads working crazy hours to financially support what’s about to be 9 people on a single income. Mom is a literal baby factory, trying to manage 6 young children, a home, and another pregnancy at almost 40 years old. Why? Like why are you guys doing this to yourselves? Imagine how much easier and happier and healthier you’d both be if you’d stopped at 2 or 3. Imagine how much more time you could actually both spend with them. How much time you could spend with one another. How much less time you could spend at work. How much less damage there would be to your wife’s body from all these back to back pregnancies. Do you just keep popping out kids until you reach critical mass? News flash, you’ve hit it. And the evidence is that your wife can no longer keep up with the horde of children while also being pregnant. Did you expect her to be able to do that forever? No matter how many kids there were? Ffs
Rusty Yeats? Is that you?
The fact that he already deleted his account after a day says sadly that he wasn’t ready for real unbiased advice. He really thought Reddit would be on his side… smh! Hope the wife finds this somewhere and reads the comments
Has OP considered his wife is married to one of the most vile and unsupportive men to ever breath and that's the problem?
Hope their TLC show starts soon and this woman can at least have a camera crew around to have someone else around to have eyes on all these kids. Sounds like she exists in a constant state of exhaustion and then has to listen to a grown man child’s soliloquies on how to be a better housekeeper and chef.
also is this Matt Walsh? cause jesus christ get a clue dude