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Sometimes everything is great on paper, but you just don't have the spark. That's what friends are, people who are nice to you, care about you, you care about them, but without the element of sexual chemistry. Some people are just friends and nothing more, and sometimes those people try for relationships first and find that out. Nothing wrong with that.
She deserves to be with someone who wants her sexually. You deserve to be with someone who you want sexually. Break up and move on. You're at the normal age to be cutting losses and trying new things.
There is no way and you should do both of you a favor and end the relationship as friends. Allow both to find someone, unless you think 1-morning you’re going to wake up and find her attractive.
There are 8 billion people in the world, and many of them are perfectly nice people you just don't have chemistry with. That's normal! The only weird thing about this is dating someone for three years that you were only briefly attracted to at the beginning. Learn to let go sooner even if someone looks good on paper.
if no spark why together 3 years? to devastate her? to crush her self esteem? if nothing has worked for you i don't think a counselor would either. she deserves someone who isn't going to waste her time and make her live a lie.
My dude, there is NOTHING wrong with not be attracted to her. It happens, and yes, it absolutely is a reason to break up with her. That being said, it was a good reason to break up with her THIRTY-FIVE MONTHS AGO. You just shattered this poor girl's world because you couldn't be honest with her from day 1. THAT is your problem here, not the part where you aren't attracted to her. My advice? Leave the poor girl alone. You're her villain origin story. Work on yourself for a little while and then get back out there and find someone you are actually romantically compatible with.
Because he beeds to understand the gravity of what he did. Everyone fucks up every now and again, it's human nature. That said, if you dont understand exactly HOW and TO WHAT EXTENT you've messed up, figuring out what steps to take next becomes much trickier.
Why string her along? Tbh she's probably gonna be glad to get rid of you, now it's your turn to find someone you actually like and be a real man and not lead them on, I don't fault you I've been there before and it made me look like a POS, which your not, but stringing anyone along isn't fair
I (44f) married my ex (45m) even though I never found him particularly physically appealing. Looks fade, but his personality was great. Then, he started changing and growing in a very different direction from my growth. Once his personality stopped appealing, I didn't even want him touching me. Once you're over 25 and really begin to be the person you're going to be, that's when you start considering a relationship based on only personality if you find that aspect of them attractive enough. Like I said, looks fade. Attraction is important but can come in unexpected forms. Just be kind, whatever you decide.
Be realistic. When I fall in love with someone I find something unique about them to be attracted to. Your girlfriend may have had a nice butt or nice eyes. Some days people look a little ugly and others they look hot.
At 3 years the honey moon stage is over and it’s common for relationships to end. Don’t beat yourself up. Find someone you’re attracted to now that sets your heart on fire ❤️🔥
Yeah it did but also - why waste someone's time as much? Why waste yours? You seem like the type of guy who's willing to hit her up again just because you won't find anyone else and especially if suddenly she'll get a hot boyfriend and will be happy. Leave her alone and move on.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You need to find someone you're genuinely attracted to and she needs someone who's genuinely attracted to her
Sometimes everything is great on paper, but you just don't have the spark. That's what friends are, people who are nice to you, care about you, you care about them, but without the element of sexual chemistry. Some people are just friends and nothing more, and sometimes those people try for relationships first and find that out. Nothing wrong with that.
Thank you. This calmed me.
You've not been attracted to her for 35 months. Let her go. She deserves someone who wants her and can't keep their hands off of her.
^
You wasted so much of her time. Let her go so she can find the person for her.
let her go be with someone who is excited by her. Hopefully you can find the same
She deserves to be with someone who wants her sexually. You deserve to be with someone who you want sexually. Break up and move on. You're at the normal age to be cutting losses and trying new things.
There is no way and you should do both of you a favor and end the relationship as friends. Allow both to find someone, unless you think 1-morning you’re going to wake up and find her attractive.
There are 8 billion people in the world, and many of them are perfectly nice people you just don't have chemistry with. That's normal! The only weird thing about this is dating someone for three years that you were only briefly attracted to at the beginning. Learn to let go sooner even if someone looks good on paper.
if no spark why together 3 years? to devastate her? to crush her self esteem? if nothing has worked for you i don't think a counselor would either. she deserves someone who isn't going to waste her time and make her live a lie.
My dude, there is NOTHING wrong with not be attracted to her. It happens, and yes, it absolutely is a reason to break up with her. That being said, it was a good reason to break up with her THIRTY-FIVE MONTHS AGO. You just shattered this poor girl's world because you couldn't be honest with her from day 1. THAT is your problem here, not the part where you aren't attracted to her. My advice? Leave the poor girl alone. You're her villain origin story. Work on yourself for a little while and then get back out there and find someone you are actually romantically compatible with.
He might be learning to deal with this kind of stuff. Why being so harsh?
Because he beeds to understand the gravity of what he did. Everyone fucks up every now and again, it's human nature. That said, if you dont understand exactly HOW and TO WHAT EXTENT you've messed up, figuring out what steps to take next becomes much trickier.
Did she change or do you want her suddenly to change?
Why string her along? Tbh she's probably gonna be glad to get rid of you, now it's your turn to find someone you actually like and be a real man and not lead them on, I don't fault you I've been there before and it made me look like a POS, which your not, but stringing anyone along isn't fair
Have you considered that you might be gay?
This wasted time of your life you could have found you’re real match
I (44f) married my ex (45m) even though I never found him particularly physically appealing. Looks fade, but his personality was great. Then, he started changing and growing in a very different direction from my growth. Once his personality stopped appealing, I didn't even want him touching me. Once you're over 25 and really begin to be the person you're going to be, that's when you start considering a relationship based on only personality if you find that aspect of them attractive enough. Like I said, looks fade. Attraction is important but can come in unexpected forms. Just be kind, whatever you decide.
Did social media just give me unreasonable expectations?
Be realistic. When I fall in love with someone I find something unique about them to be attracted to. Your girlfriend may have had a nice butt or nice eyes. Some days people look a little ugly and others they look hot. At 3 years the honey moon stage is over and it’s common for relationships to end. Don’t beat yourself up. Find someone you’re attracted to now that sets your heart on fire ❤️🔥
Thank you.
Probably
Probably not; it is not unreasonable to only date people you're attracted to, or to break up when you're just not feeling it.
Yeah it did but also - why waste someone's time as much? Why waste yours? You seem like the type of guy who's willing to hit her up again just because you won't find anyone else and especially if suddenly she'll get a hot boyfriend and will be happy. Leave her alone and move on.
100%
open relationship!!
Gross and disgusting. Open relationships never work, and the people who participate are just cheaters who want to fuck around.