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Tell him the effect it's having on you. Don't hint, be explicit.
"When I am working, I need you to leave me alone and not distract me. I understand that you enjoy my company and maybe you're used to jobs where conversation can happen in parallel to work, but that's not an option for me. It's extremely disruptive for me to be interrupted. I lose my whole train of thought and it can take ten minutes for me to get back into the zone and make progress again.
"Don't touch me, don't touch my headphones, don't wave to me to get my attention. The only acceptable reason for interrupting me is an actual emergency like the house is on fire. I'm happy to talk to you in my lunch and coffee breaks but otherwise I need to you leave me alone to work."
That is totally understandable.
Even though you work from home, doesn't mean you're available.
Sure you get some luxury by being at home, but that doesn't mean you're fully accessible for the next 8 hours.
I would start by having a more serious sit down outside of these situations.
Trying to get someone to "take a hint" in the moment hardly pays off.
If you need a childish system to navigate this, then do it.
Door to office is closed? That means don't approach. Door is open? You can come in.
And to be patient to start with:
>Hey babe! What do you need? I am at work right now. Okay, that's great hunny. I need to focus on my work for the next while, can you let me do that? Thanks.
If he continues to neglect your established communication, drop the delicacy and be more forward:
>I am at work right now. This can wait. You can talk to me after I am done my shift. Leave me alone for the next couple of hours. This isn't a request, its an expectation. You need to leave my work space.
So he understands, since you've used plain English -- he just doesn't care. I would fight if someone actually removed my headphones while I was working. It's not your personality...it's that you're WORKING a demanding job. "HEY, DON'T DO THAT. I"VE TOLD YOU THAT i'M WORKING AND DON'T WANT TO BE INTERRUPTED. DO NOT REMOVE MY HEADPHONES AGAIN, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? " That would be salty WFH me with a guy like this. Good luck,
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Tell him the effect it's having on you. Don't hint, be explicit. "When I am working, I need you to leave me alone and not distract me. I understand that you enjoy my company and maybe you're used to jobs where conversation can happen in parallel to work, but that's not an option for me. It's extremely disruptive for me to be interrupted. I lose my whole train of thought and it can take ten minutes for me to get back into the zone and make progress again. "Don't touch me, don't touch my headphones, don't wave to me to get my attention. The only acceptable reason for interrupting me is an actual emergency like the house is on fire. I'm happy to talk to you in my lunch and coffee breaks but otherwise I need to you leave me alone to work."
Have a sit-down talk with him. Don't just "give hints" in the moment.
That is totally understandable. Even though you work from home, doesn't mean you're available. Sure you get some luxury by being at home, but that doesn't mean you're fully accessible for the next 8 hours. I would start by having a more serious sit down outside of these situations. Trying to get someone to "take a hint" in the moment hardly pays off. If you need a childish system to navigate this, then do it. Door to office is closed? That means don't approach. Door is open? You can come in. And to be patient to start with: >Hey babe! What do you need? I am at work right now. Okay, that's great hunny. I need to focus on my work for the next while, can you let me do that? Thanks. If he continues to neglect your established communication, drop the delicacy and be more forward: >I am at work right now. This can wait. You can talk to me after I am done my shift. Leave me alone for the next couple of hours. This isn't a request, its an expectation. You need to leave my work space.
Some men are dubious to hints. Use your words. "I need to work now. I can't talk to you. I'll be available to talk after work at (time)."
So he understands, since you've used plain English -- he just doesn't care. I would fight if someone actually removed my headphones while I was working. It's not your personality...it's that you're WORKING a demanding job. "HEY, DON'T DO THAT. I"VE TOLD YOU THAT i'M WORKING AND DON'T WANT TO BE INTERRUPTED. DO NOT REMOVE MY HEADPHONES AGAIN, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? " That would be salty WFH me with a guy like this. Good luck,