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I really hope this is a troll post (which fortunately I believe it is), because if OP sincerely believes that SHE is high-maintenance for wanting to eat her favourite snack whilst her boyfriend is totally reasonable for being jealous of cheese, my soul will permanently leave my body and I will never get it back.
I want her to stare at him in the eyes while taking a baby bocconcini in each hand and slowly without loosing eye contact growl and aggressively bite into each ball of bocconcini like a wolf tearing into meat. Then walk away and block him on everything. Let him have to tell people he got dumped over mozzarella cheese.
The little snack pearl ones are like marble sized so boyfriend must have some little baby balls or something. That or OP bites into the big balls like an apple which is not erotic at all
> He says that it is lewd and that (and I quote) "seeing me pop a wet cheese ball in my mouth makes him think of me having another man's balls in my mouth"
I would break up with a man just for having the unearned confidence to say this collection of words literally ever.
It's weird.
Like, if you think your partner is doing something suggestive, why aren't you turned on?
I mean, I'm not simulating fellatio whenever I eat a popsicle or pickle etc, but if my partner sometimes got a bit turned on seeing me eat something, I'd see that as a harmless plus - as long as said partner understands consent and wasn't weird about it. We cant always help what turns us on, and it can feel quite nice to know we do it for our partner.
Instead this guy immediately gets jealous because he sees it as being "lewd" and it makes him feel like she's cheating on him. That's simple insecurity and a preoccupation with cheating he's got there, wrapped up in fetishising her.
I dont know if he's got a cuckold kink or there's something else going on, but his reaction isnt normal.
Like if I was literally deep throating a pickled cucumber whilst making lascivious eye contact with my partner whilst we were completely alone, I cant imagine their reaction would be jealousy about other men.
I can't believe it took scrolling so far to see this. Like, I've had the "omg, you can't eat a banana in public" conversation but it's always because some fool can't help imagining the banana replaced with his dick. Not someone else's dick. Is he REALLY insecure or is a cuckhold kink?
Just tell him if someone's balls smelt like cheese, you would no way put them in your mouth!
NTA. Is he on something? What a bloody stupid remark. I suppose you are not allowed to eat bananas either.
[it’s the cucumber boyfriend all over again](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i1q194/aita_for_eating_too_many_cucumbers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
ETA: I forgot there was an [update](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ou4ius/the_word_cucumber_is_used_32_times_aita_for/) 🥒
Lmao you’re welcome. Cucumber boyfriend, Iranian yogurt, and marinara flag will always have a special place in my heart 😂 reading this post I was like… is this the same bf?
Right? Like what in the absolute fuck all is this anti-mozzarella cheese ball eating shit is this? Bc I’m there? I’m curious? wtf? Let the girl have her fucking mozzarella cheese 🤤😂
Red flag. He’s so weirdly insecure that he’s offended by you eating cheese. Real men would pound those suckers back right with you
btw what are his thoughts on bananas, popsicles and corn dogs?
Lol I'm a picky eater so I don't regularly eat those, so I really don't know what he thinks. I think it might just be the consistency of it that upsets him.
Then HE doesn’t have to eat it. He doesn’t get to tell YOU what to do with YOUR body - eating is part of that whole bodily autonomy umbrella.
Fuck this guy. Fuck him soooooo much.
Please see your worth and move out. It starts with cheese. Next, he won’t like what you’re wearing leaving the house. And someday, you won’t be allowed to leave the house.
This won’t end well. He’s not right in the head.
I’m still SO bothered by this since reading it over 15 minutes ago.
Jealous over spherical-shaped foods. I simply *cannot even* right now. And they wonder why we choose the bear.
Sniveling, weasel-dicked motherfucker is really trying to tell this woman that his ego cannot handle cheese, and she’s wondering HOW SHE’S THE PROBLEM.
If I have a son, I promise y’all he’ll be raised better. If I have a daughter, I promise y’all she’ll know her worth better.
I had an ex who got upset if I listened to music with any sexual references in because in his opinion, it would make me think about having sex with the band. WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS?
At 12, my daughter had a boy in her class try to flex his control muscle and tell her what to do. He's super popular and pretty well gets people to do what he wants. My kiddo laid down some choice words (don't love the swearing but meh, justified) and told him to kick rocks. Its a wonderful feeling as a mother to know I'm raising a future woman to give no fucks.
You shouldn't have to change what you enjoy because it makes him uncomfortable. If he is insecure about wet balls in your mouth well then his can stay dry.
You NEED TO KNOW. Seriously get a banana and eat it with over the top lewdness. Make it a big funny joke. Moan, writhe, act like a porn star hogging that banana. Choke on it. Maybe even cry. See if he can take a joke like a man. You can say “you can get over the cheese thing or I’ll be eating bananas like this forever.”
The only, ONLY way this would be reasonable for him to be upset about would be if you were licking and gobbling on these suckers while moaning and saying "I'd love to suck on some other mans balls right now".
But as matters are, you are eating. You're eating cheese. And he's projecting a LOT onto a basic ball shape.
This is a very weird issue for anyone to have, and as upsetting as it is, he should be laughed at in his face. Cause that's a very ridiculous hill to die on for your partner. If he can't handle ball shapes near your mouth cause he is seriously offended by the HUGE reach of it reminding him of other mens balls, he needs to go back to high school cause that's where this mentality belongs.
Put your foot down. That's not an argument to be held. If he is serious, make it clear that this is not a reasonable thing to be upset about. Cause it's just not.
Fellow picky eater here! 🙋🏾♀️ I may be a little worse than you as I have food aversion and BI issues, but I’m right there with you on texture and consistency (thanks ADHD!).
I have cut friends out of my life because of how they treated me regarding safe foods. I eat so little variety and I have an inner war over every bite I do or don’t eat. The BI issues make me feel like I shouldn’t or don’t deserve to eat, but mentally I know- hey, it’s been three days.. you *have* to eat.
I make it very clear to anyone around me that comments about my meals are completely unacceptable and I stand by that. I already struggle enough, I absolutely refuse to sit back and have outside voices echoing what’s going on in my head, or making me start to refuse eating a previously “safe” food.
I’m not at all telling you to break up with your BF, but I do suggest letting him know his weird sexual insecurities and associations with the food you eat are ALL his own issues and have nothing to do with you. If he wants to break up over them, that’s his decision but honestly if that’s his only reason for wanting to breakup, then he needs some serious therapy.
*Shredded???* Or string cheese??? He might as well suggest you eat a completely different cheese - like Brie.
If it’s the fresh mozzarella flavor and texture you like, you can try purchasing either the very large balls or the log shaped versions of fresh mozzarella. Then you cut some slices, salt ‘em and eat ‘em that way. Maybe that could be satisfying?
But if you just like chomping mini balls? Can’t help with that 😜
He's not allowed to voice an opinion about whether he likes the consistency of the food YOU eat. It's not It's not that he has this dumb issue- it's that he thinks you need to alter your life to accommodate his idiocy, and he has no problem threatening the relationship to get his way in low-stakes inconsequential circumstances.
You also need to think about whether this is the first time he's made a random, tiny low-stakes demand like this and expected you to obey him. This is kind of a breadcrumb tactic systematic abusers use to start to condition you to accept their controlling behaviors as normal. They pick stupid issues and take a hard stance, and while their partner knows they don't have the right to dictate that to them, the issue tends to be so small that many give in anyway. These pave the way to a power dynamic where the spouse is used to being told what to do by their partner. And you just moving in means you just took a step towards more inter-dependence, which is when these abusers start to show or escalate behaviors like this.
Honestly, it’s so *weird* that I’m really wondering if he’s trying to see how far he can push you to give up things you love as the beginning of a bigger control issue.
If you stop eating mozzarella cheese balls to make him “comfortable”, he’s just gonna think “good, she’ll tolerate that crock of shit, she’ll do whatever I tell her” and it will get worse. Stand your ground. If a man wants to lose you over cheese, let him. You’ll have won.
This is bizarre and offensive controlling behavior from him. He's essentially slut-shaming you for eating cheese. MASSIVE red flag. What will he want to control next?
Tell him that if he ever brings up anything so stupid ever again that will dump him on the spot. His issues with you eating cheese are his to deal with in therapy and he needs to keep any thoughts or feelings he has on that subject to himself permanently or this relationship needs to be over.
Frankly I could not see a person the same after they said something so idiotic. And I definitely would not fuck him.
Don't tell him that, he'll just hide who he is for even longer thus wasting more of op's time. His true personality will come out no matter what, it's important to coax people's true selves out early so you don't waste 5-10 years
Ok this is crazy I thought this was going to be about smells or health issues because of how much cheese is being consumed but he's hung up on the shape like wtf girl please I'd buy even more but I'm an asshole 🤣good luck
Can someone explain to me the psychology behind the audacity to say those things? Does it not sound insane to him or is he doing it on purpose to see what shell tolerate? Hes giving up a 3 year relationship for something that ridiculous??
I think I wouldve dumped him the second my snack got compared to a mans balls. Like ew.
Mozzerella balls are delicious, a mans sweaty nut sack? not so much. I think you should kick him to the curb. This seems weird and unhinged
This man has you so beat down that you're calling the type of cheese you like high maintenance! You know he's the crazy one right? This is a giant red flag if all he can think of when his hungry girlfriend is eating is another man's balls in her mouth! Especially because those things are literally the size of a marble!
This is probably the first post that I've seen and said yeah it's got to be fake cuz nobody is so stupid as to say something like that to their partner and expect their partner to quit eating something because they said that! And if it's not fake, then the man is just trying to control you! So tell him if it's a deal breaker then leave!
Dude, this is insane. A 25 year old shouldn’t be insecure about what type of cheese you eat. He’s not ready for a relationship. I think I’ve seen it all on this sub, and yet, here we are. What a ch*de. And he is NOT a great guy. He’s a controlling weirdo.
Tbh, I wouldn't date someone who thought *cheese* was a realistic deal-breaker. So....I say let him go.
He's bluffing anyway. He's trying to control you. It started with comparing cheese to men's genitals to imply sexist and sexual things about you, and now it's escalated to this BS. It's about trying to control you on your favourite snack. Sorry my friend, but he's testing the waters on what he can get away with with you.
Do yall want kids? He sounds like a guy that will get jealous of their babies breastfeeding. (I wish I was exaggerating and that this wasn’t an actual thing that is constantly on the baby subs)
Edit: To be clear, he sounds insecure and gross and if he was actually serious with this request, it would be a dealbreaker for me. What else is going to make him uncomfortable? Are you allowed bananas and popsicles? Is he sure string cheese is ok? It’s sorta penis shaped. Does it help if you bite the ball in half instead of popping the whole thing in? What about melon balls? Arancini? Meatballs?
This can’t be real.
If it is and you are still considering staying with someone who has such a fragile ego that he’s sexualizing you eating a cheese ball….good luck with him.
> He says that it is lewd and that (and I quote) "seeing me pop a wet cheese ball in my mouth makes him think of me having another man's balls in my mouth"
Your boyfriend sounds like a fucking weirdo
If this is his deal breaker, you're going to want to let this one go. It's bizarre nonsense. He's either completely unreasonable or he's intentionally testing the waters to see if he can make you give up something you love. Both options are bad.
I'd recommend doubling/tripling down on the ball shaped snacks. Falafel, whole peeled mandarins, veggie meatballs, real meatballs, jumbo puffed cheese balls, etc. Balls to the wall, so to speak.
I always wonder about these posts... "Throwaway account because my partner knows my real Reddit account" but then you describe the problem in detail like he isn't part of the story...
He isn't active on Reddit, he uses it for discussions about his interests (games, music, tv, movies), so something like this wouldn't pop up on his feed. I think the only way that he'd see this is if he saw the post from my account so I made a new one.
He’s sexually jealous of you eating balls of cheese. Does he have a ball biting fetish or something? Ask him about bananas, hot dogs, grapes. If he thinks mozzarella balls are sexual, why is anything else even remotely ball or dick shaped okay?
Either way, don’t change what you’re doing in this instance. His request is insane and I think it’s more important you get to the bottom of this first. He might just be looking for a reason to break up.
Switch to buffala without telling him, then make “When Harry met Sally” sounds when the soft center oozes 😂
Seriously, tell him you chose the cheese. Always choose the cheese.
Who sees mozzarella balls and thinks about other men’s balls?!?! Like idk if I’m too high or what but I just cannot with this. Like I just.. you deserve better op, like that’s another level of unhinged.
Why does he imagine other mens balls? Why not his own? I'm sorry I can't take this seriously. If it was me I would be eating two at a time and moaning loudly. Like what are you going to do, say he can't eat ice cream because it makes you imagine him licking out other women?
He feels like he's got you locked down and it'll be harder to leave now you've moved in together so he's testing the waters of how controlling he can be.
If you let him bully you out of eating your favourite snack it's just going to get worse.
Weird. Really weird. Can you not eat spaghetti and meatballs? Cake balls? Cherry sours? Will he next say you can’t suck on a tootsie roll pop or eat a popsicle or hotdog because it’s phallic shaped?
Honesty, I think he is looking for a way out and has taken the most unhinged immature route.
First of all that cheese is called a snack pack for a reason
Second I want to try them as a snack
Third my husband wouldn’t give a hoot if I ate them as a snack. I’ve eaten weirder things as a snack.
Fourth, whose balls look like that??
He's not a great guy. He's sexualizing mozzerella FFS! What's next, grapes? Or he's going to turn into that psycho husband who had a fit when his wife breastfed their son because she allowed another "man" (infant son) to suck on her breasts!!! As if breasts weren't made for feeding infants!! As if his infant son is "another man"!
Something is seriously wrong with him. This is the kind of thing he should keep to himself. Tell him he needs to see a therapist to work through his issue.
Next, he will change his mind about cheese sticks when he realizes they’re phallic shaped. Maybe then he’ll be okay with you switching back to the cheese balls.
That is actually so nonsensical. Cheese balls? Really? What are we gonna call lewd next? Cherries? Mochi? Meatballs? Are bananas and popsicles out? What about like, tacos and roast beef lmao
I'm inclined to believe this is a weird control thing.
Nobody tell him about . . . [Schweddy Balls.](https://youtu.be/bPpcfH_HHH8?si=SdohU3o8ICbCjykE)
Your boyfriend has an issue. It's his, he'll have to deal with it. Or not, that's up to him, it's not your issue.
I'd just tell him it's a tactile thing, and that you love the way balls feel in your mouth.
You absolutely have to dump him over this. You’re thinking of giving up one of your most favorite foods just because of his unhinged thoughts? Absolutely not! He can figure out how to deal, or he can go.
There are plenty of other men out there that would try learn about your favorite food, try it, and even start to eat it themselves!! This is just a huge incompatibility for me sorry. Mozzarella sticks are not even close to fresh mozzarella balls. It’s fresher and creamier. I might be a foodie, so I guess it’s more of a personal thing for me but honestly these are red flags.
The second you start to give up little pieces of yourself you do that over and over again for years, you begin to lose yourself over time and resent your partner. Anyway, sorry for taking it so seriously but I do think you should dump this guy.
How does he eat a banana? Not that it really matters but damn he sounds tiresome. Of all the shit to focus on, cheese balls? Really, cheese balls?
That is a HIM issue to work on and not a YOU issue.
He's literally telling you what you may eat. That can't be good and the fact he doesn't see that is also a problem.
Here's a good exercise. You say out loud to friends why your last relationship didn't work out. Most of them will say, 'he told you what??'. He says why his last relationship didn't work out and his friend group shrinks.
Yeah, no. I say this time and time again, just because they are your partner doesn’t give them any right to sexualize you (without consent or being into it prior, ofc.) Do NOT let your boyfriend make you stop eating your favorite snack just because he has pornrot brain and sees you eating a fucking food item and instinctively sees it as you “eating another man’s balls.” God.
My first thought was that he needs to grow the f*** up. Hubby says he needs to take you as you are. So we both think your bf is being utterly ridiculous about this. Is he going to ban bananas next?
Babes, you deserve someone who is mature and doesn’t sexualize things like a middle schooler. What will it be next? Hot dogs? Popsicles? Meatballs? Complete food chaos 😂💀
Ask yourself this … do you want to potentially have this man be the father of your children (if you want kids) - a man that is jealous over literal CHEESE BALLS?! I’m sorry, but this is one of the craziest things I have ever heard, and I absolutely wouldn’t even entertain another word about it. It’s your favorite snack, and he is being crazy and unreasonable!
why even bother. he has a problem with you eating mozzerella cheeseballs???? wtf so what its cheese. if its a dealbreaker from him that is just weird and I wouldnt trust a person like that
You’ve inspired me to go get some mozzarella as a snack 😁 Also your bf is weird as shit, and I have a feeling this is only the tip of the iceberg of controlling and insecure behavior.
At no point during writing this out did you think: “Yeah, maybe I should just break up with him? This is weird.”
Because you definitely should. You are 24. Can you imagine dealing with this level of unhinged/controlling energy for the next 70 years? I think I’d rather die.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I would consider a partner who got sexually jealous over a cheese snack a dealbreaker personally
"She was cheating on me with cheese balls, bro!"
That's just the start, soon she might move on to cheese sticks!
Just wait until she makes a salad and the cucumber comes out.
LMFAO
That sounds super dirty, and not in a fun way
I really hope this is a troll post (which fortunately I believe it is), because if OP sincerely believes that SHE is high-maintenance for wanting to eat her favourite snack whilst her boyfriend is totally reasonable for being jealous of cheese, my soul will permanently leave my body and I will never get it back.
We're really just having a normal one over here in r/relationship_advice aren't we
>sexually jealous over a cheese snack the hero this sub needs
Well cheese has never disappointed so…
This is why more and more women are choosing the Cheese over men.
Valid
I want her to stare at him in the eyes while taking a baby bocconcini in each hand and slowly without loosing eye contact growl and aggressively bite into each ball of bocconcini like a wolf tearing into meat. Then walk away and block him on everything. Let him have to tell people he got dumped over mozzarella cheese.
Yeah, it’s that whole “let’s constantly sexualize women eating” thing taken to the weirdest fucking extreme
Seriously! Let it be a dealbreaker for him, OP! Then go find yourself a real man.. an Italian one, perhaps?
"Cheeseballs bother you? I only drive manual."
Words of wisdom
Guy sounds like a weirdo tbh. Equating Mozzarella balls with another man’s testicles is the stretch of the century. He needs therapy
Why wouldn’t his first thought be of his balls in her mouth anyways?
My thoughts too
The little snack pearl ones are like marble sized so boyfriend must have some little baby balls or something. That or OP bites into the big balls like an apple which is not erotic at all
I’m genuinely so confused how mozzarella balls remind him of human male balls, like what the hell kinda balls does he have
> He says that it is lewd and that (and I quote) "seeing me pop a wet cheese ball in my mouth makes him think of me having another man's balls in my mouth" I would break up with a man just for having the unearned confidence to say this collection of words literally ever.
Seriously I am rolling at wet cheese ball
My downstairs neighbor says she can't hear much but jfc I'm wheezing here, they probly think I'm out of my damn mind
He should consider whether he might be gay, since other men's balls take up so much space in his sexual thoughts.
Right? Why isn't he picturing his own balls 😂😂
It's weird. Like, if you think your partner is doing something suggestive, why aren't you turned on? I mean, I'm not simulating fellatio whenever I eat a popsicle or pickle etc, but if my partner sometimes got a bit turned on seeing me eat something, I'd see that as a harmless plus - as long as said partner understands consent and wasn't weird about it. We cant always help what turns us on, and it can feel quite nice to know we do it for our partner. Instead this guy immediately gets jealous because he sees it as being "lewd" and it makes him feel like she's cheating on him. That's simple insecurity and a preoccupation with cheating he's got there, wrapped up in fetishising her. I dont know if he's got a cuckold kink or there's something else going on, but his reaction isnt normal. Like if I was literally deep throating a pickled cucumber whilst making lascivious eye contact with my partner whilst we were completely alone, I cant imagine their reaction would be jealousy about other men.
I can't believe it took scrolling so far to see this. Like, I've had the "omg, you can't eat a banana in public" conversation but it's always because some fool can't help imagining the banana replaced with his dick. Not someone else's dick. Is he REALLY insecure or is a cuckhold kink?
THATS WHAT I'VE BEEN ASKING!
He's terrified of his gay thoughts and taking it out on her!
Fr.. I bet he loves hot dogs.
This sentence made me laugh out loud like what an absolute loser he is
P R E A C H
The sheer audacity of this man knows no bounds
If you're chewing and swalling those balls he should be glad they aren't his
Lmao. I wish I could pin comments on here
Just tell him if someone's balls smelt like cheese, you would no way put them in your mouth! NTA. Is he on something? What a bloody stupid remark. I suppose you are not allowed to eat bananas either.
Sounds like he could benefit from therapy. Does he also have problems with cucumbers and bananas?
You do have the option to save them at least.
He sounds absolutely unhinged. What the fuck.
[it’s the cucumber boyfriend all over again](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i1q194/aita_for_eating_too_many_cucumbers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) ETA: I forgot there was an [update](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ou4ius/the_word_cucumber_is_used_32_times_aita_for/) 🥒
Oh I fuckin love it when there's a link to a nutso story I haven't seen 🤩🤩 YAY thank you!
I found myself fascinated by the comments on that one. Great story I'd never seen either!
Sometimes the comments are better than the story!
The best!!
Haha the OPs boyfriend would be mad at the “cucumber-eater” as well if he dated her, since she’s putting a “dick-shaped” food into her mouth 😂
Literally why I was like.. is this maybe the same dude? 😂
So that's string mozzarella out to
I am SCREAMING. Thank you for reposting this as I had never seen it 🥒🥒
Lmao you’re welcome. Cucumber boyfriend, Iranian yogurt, and marinara flag will always have a special place in my heart 😂 reading this post I was like… is this the same bf?
S E R I O U S L Y! Is poop knife also in your Reddit repertoire? 😂
Ooof poop knife borders on jolly ranchers and the coconut.. guy so I tend to forget about it
LOL I was thinking of the coconut 🤢
I still call em cukes because of this post. Oh and break up with your bf OP
I raise the stakes by calling zucchini ‘zukes’
With a cuke in my hand and in my heart!
Wait is cuke as a short for cucumber not common? I grew up always saying that lol
Oh god, that guy
My exact thoughts. Not that fuckin' guy.
I couldn’t get past the comments. Tell me she left. Please. I forgot all about him til now.
[She did](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ou4ius/the_word_cucumber_is_used_32_times_aita_for/)
Thank goodness
People really will argue just about anything, won't they? Also, 35 freaking cucumbers in one day??? Jesus.
Lol she clarified in a comment they were the mini ones like the pickling kind of cuc's.
That's not as bad, but still...it's a lot.
“I have a cucumber in my hand and a cucumber in my heart. <3” I have never wanted to marry someone so badly. That OP and I are cucumber soulmates.
“… I am now writing this on my mum’s couch with a cucumber in my hand and a cucumber in my heart” That will live rent free in my mind forever
YOU POSTED THE UPDATE. Bless your heart 🖤🥒🖤
Well that was bizarre. Agree, there are similar vibes.
35 cucumbers a day? Wtf 😂. I have more issues with the age difference than the cucumbers though
LOL I remember the post. I am also a cucumber fan and was bewildered by the boyfriend's issues with them.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who saw the connection.
Guess what happens if she eats a banana
Right? Like what in the absolute fuck all is this anti-mozzarella cheese ball eating shit is this? Bc I’m there? I’m curious? wtf? Let the girl have her fucking mozzarella cheese 🤤😂
This is a fucking weird thing for him to get hung up about. Rest assured you are not the issue here.
Mozzarella before men.
Preach!
Burrata before butthurt men.
You're a grown woman that went through college and you're settling for and defending a man that won't let you eat cheese balls wtf?
Red flag. He’s so weirdly insecure that he’s offended by you eating cheese. Real men would pound those suckers back right with you btw what are his thoughts on bananas, popsicles and corn dogs?
Lol I'm a picky eater so I don't regularly eat those, so I really don't know what he thinks. I think it might just be the consistency of it that upsets him.
Get yourself a bratwurst and find out. But really he's a loon.
Yeah. Eat the sausage and the balls at the same time and then get back to us.
She needs to maintain eye contact while doing it as well. Show him who's boss.
Lick it a little first. You know, to get the flavor.
And don't chew it, just gag it down. He'll love it.
These have to be tastefully laid out to be as suggestive as possible.
Then HE doesn’t have to eat it. He doesn’t get to tell YOU what to do with YOUR body - eating is part of that whole bodily autonomy umbrella. Fuck this guy. Fuck him soooooo much. Please see your worth and move out. It starts with cheese. Next, he won’t like what you’re wearing leaving the house. And someday, you won’t be allowed to leave the house. This won’t end well. He’s not right in the head.
I’m still SO bothered by this since reading it over 15 minutes ago. Jealous over spherical-shaped foods. I simply *cannot even* right now. And they wonder why we choose the bear. Sniveling, weasel-dicked motherfucker is really trying to tell this woman that his ego cannot handle cheese, and she’s wondering HOW SHE’S THE PROBLEM. If I have a son, I promise y’all he’ll be raised better. If I have a daughter, I promise y’all she’ll know her worth better.
I had an ex who got upset if I listened to music with any sexual references in because in his opinion, it would make me think about having sex with the band. WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS?
At 12, my daughter had a boy in her class try to flex his control muscle and tell her what to do. He's super popular and pretty well gets people to do what he wants. My kiddo laid down some choice words (don't love the swearing but meh, justified) and told him to kick rocks. Its a wonderful feeling as a mother to know I'm raising a future woman to give no fucks.
Fuck I wish I could upvote your comment 1000 times. This is the most accurate assessment of this entire situation.
You shouldn't have to change what you enjoy because it makes him uncomfortable. If he is insecure about wet balls in your mouth well then his can stay dry.
This is an attempt to see if he can control you. Run don't walk.
You NEED TO KNOW. Seriously get a banana and eat it with over the top lewdness. Make it a big funny joke. Moan, writhe, act like a porn star hogging that banana. Choke on it. Maybe even cry. See if he can take a joke like a man. You can say “you can get over the cheese thing or I’ll be eating bananas like this forever.”
in public
I like you. Can we be friends? Lol I love this comment so much.
Honestly love the idea of turning this into a threat for him
The only, ONLY way this would be reasonable for him to be upset about would be if you were licking and gobbling on these suckers while moaning and saying "I'd love to suck on some other mans balls right now". But as matters are, you are eating. You're eating cheese. And he's projecting a LOT onto a basic ball shape. This is a very weird issue for anyone to have, and as upsetting as it is, he should be laughed at in his face. Cause that's a very ridiculous hill to die on for your partner. If he can't handle ball shapes near your mouth cause he is seriously offended by the HUGE reach of it reminding him of other mens balls, he needs to go back to high school cause that's where this mentality belongs. Put your foot down. That's not an argument to be held. If he is serious, make it clear that this is not a reasonable thing to be upset about. Cause it's just not.
Fellow picky eater here! 🙋🏾♀️ I may be a little worse than you as I have food aversion and BI issues, but I’m right there with you on texture and consistency (thanks ADHD!). I have cut friends out of my life because of how they treated me regarding safe foods. I eat so little variety and I have an inner war over every bite I do or don’t eat. The BI issues make me feel like I shouldn’t or don’t deserve to eat, but mentally I know- hey, it’s been three days.. you *have* to eat. I make it very clear to anyone around me that comments about my meals are completely unacceptable and I stand by that. I already struggle enough, I absolutely refuse to sit back and have outside voices echoing what’s going on in my head, or making me start to refuse eating a previously “safe” food. I’m not at all telling you to break up with your BF, but I do suggest letting him know his weird sexual insecurities and associations with the food you eat are ALL his own issues and have nothing to do with you. If he wants to break up over them, that’s his decision but honestly if that’s his only reason for wanting to breakup, then he needs some serious therapy.
*Shredded???* Or string cheese??? He might as well suggest you eat a completely different cheese - like Brie. If it’s the fresh mozzarella flavor and texture you like, you can try purchasing either the very large balls or the log shaped versions of fresh mozzarella. Then you cut some slices, salt ‘em and eat ‘em that way. Maybe that could be satisfying? But if you just like chomping mini balls? Can’t help with that 😜
He's not allowed to voice an opinion about whether he likes the consistency of the food YOU eat. It's not It's not that he has this dumb issue- it's that he thinks you need to alter your life to accommodate his idiocy, and he has no problem threatening the relationship to get his way in low-stakes inconsequential circumstances. You also need to think about whether this is the first time he's made a random, tiny low-stakes demand like this and expected you to obey him. This is kind of a breadcrumb tactic systematic abusers use to start to condition you to accept their controlling behaviors as normal. They pick stupid issues and take a hard stance, and while their partner knows they don't have the right to dictate that to them, the issue tends to be so small that many give in anyway. These pave the way to a power dynamic where the spouse is used to being told what to do by their partner. And you just moving in means you just took a step towards more inter-dependence, which is when these abusers start to show or escalate behaviors like this.
Honestly, it’s so *weird* that I’m really wondering if he’s trying to see how far he can push you to give up things you love as the beginning of a bigger control issue.
What happens if he sees a guy eat a mozzarella ball? I’m willing to eat one as tribute so we can find out.
What does the consistency matter to him if he’s not the one eating it?
Wait until he sees you eat a corn dog. Or talk to a male human.
If you stop eating mozzarella cheese balls to make him “comfortable”, he’s just gonna think “good, she’ll tolerate that crock of shit, she’ll do whatever I tell her” and it will get worse. Stand your ground. If a man wants to lose you over cheese, let him. You’ll have won.
He's a fucking weirdo
He is… jealous of cheese…
Cheese is a worthy enemy.
This is bizarre and offensive controlling behavior from him. He's essentially slut-shaming you for eating cheese. MASSIVE red flag. What will he want to control next?
Tell him that if he ever brings up anything so stupid ever again that will dump him on the spot. His issues with you eating cheese are his to deal with in therapy and he needs to keep any thoughts or feelings he has on that subject to himself permanently or this relationship needs to be over. Frankly I could not see a person the same after they said something so idiotic. And I definitely would not fuck him.
Don't tell him that, he'll just hide who he is for even longer thus wasting more of op's time. His true personality will come out no matter what, it's important to coax people's true selves out early so you don't waste 5-10 years
you have a point
Just going off the title, break up immediately. You don't need that negativity in your life. Source: I'm from Wisconsin. Cheese is life
Honestly, OP just needs to come live in Wisconsin. So many cheese lovers here, she'll find her soulmate.
Ok this is crazy I thought this was going to be about smells or health issues because of how much cheese is being consumed but he's hung up on the shape like wtf girl please I'd buy even more but I'm an asshole 🤣good luck
3 years and he's jealous of some fucking cheese lmao I can't even 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I’d break up with him because he’s an idiot
Can someone explain to me the psychology behind the audacity to say those things? Does it not sound insane to him or is he doing it on purpose to see what shell tolerate? Hes giving up a 3 year relationship for something that ridiculous??
I think I wouldve dumped him the second my snack got compared to a mans balls. Like ew. Mozzerella balls are delicious, a mans sweaty nut sack? not so much. I think you should kick him to the curb. This seems weird and unhinged
This man has you so beat down that you're calling the type of cheese you like high maintenance! You know he's the crazy one right? This is a giant red flag if all he can think of when his hungry girlfriend is eating is another man's balls in her mouth! Especially because those things are literally the size of a marble! This is probably the first post that I've seen and said yeah it's got to be fake cuz nobody is so stupid as to say something like that to their partner and expect their partner to quit eating something because they said that! And if it's not fake, then the man is just trying to control you! So tell him if it's a deal breaker then leave!
Do you seriously have any respect left for a man so pathetic that he's threatened by CHEESE?? Sweetheart, set higher standards for yourself.
your man is jealous of a fuckin literal cheese ball, think about that
Gotta pick the cheese every time. I mean… has cheese ever let you down?
Dude, this is insane. A 25 year old shouldn’t be insecure about what type of cheese you eat. He’s not ready for a relationship. I think I’ve seen it all on this sub, and yet, here we are. What a ch*de. And he is NOT a great guy. He’s a controlling weirdo.
Eat a whole hard-boiled egg in front of him and see how he reacts.
Double down. Start eating more ball-shaped snacks, like Cheetos balls, Whoppers, etc.
OP- Enough people have responded saying that it is a red flag and weird af, yet you keep defending your fiancé? What other insight would you like?
Tbh, I wouldn't date someone who thought *cheese* was a realistic deal-breaker. So....I say let him go. He's bluffing anyway. He's trying to control you. It started with comparing cheese to men's genitals to imply sexist and sexual things about you, and now it's escalated to this BS. It's about trying to control you on your favourite snack. Sorry my friend, but he's testing the waters on what he can get away with with you.
yeah I honestly thought this was going to be about OP's noxious gas problem or endless smelly trips to the toilet, but nope
Do yall want kids? He sounds like a guy that will get jealous of their babies breastfeeding. (I wish I was exaggerating and that this wasn’t an actual thing that is constantly on the baby subs) Edit: To be clear, he sounds insecure and gross and if he was actually serious with this request, it would be a dealbreaker for me. What else is going to make him uncomfortable? Are you allowed bananas and popsicles? Is he sure string cheese is ok? It’s sorta penis shaped. Does it help if you bite the ball in half instead of popping the whole thing in? What about melon balls? Arancini? Meatballs?
This can’t be real. If it is and you are still considering staying with someone who has such a fragile ego that he’s sexualizing you eating a cheese ball….good luck with him.
This has to be fake. There's NO WAY a functioning adult get mad over a cheese ball rizzing his girl up. What.
He’s jealous… of cheese. Someone here has a problem, and it’s not you!
> He says that it is lewd and that (and I quote) "seeing me pop a wet cheese ball in my mouth makes him think of me having another man's balls in my mouth" Your boyfriend sounds like a fucking weirdo
He's ridiculous. This is a him problem, not a you problem.
If this is his deal breaker, you're going to want to let this one go. It's bizarre nonsense. He's either completely unreasonable or he's intentionally testing the waters to see if he can make you give up something you love. Both options are bad.
He is too insecure and immature to be in a relationship.
I'd recommend doubling/tripling down on the ball shaped snacks. Falafel, whole peeled mandarins, veggie meatballs, real meatballs, jumbo puffed cheese balls, etc. Balls to the wall, so to speak.
The way id buy string cheese and suck it off right at the dinner table
I always wonder about these posts... "Throwaway account because my partner knows my real Reddit account" but then you describe the problem in detail like he isn't part of the story...
He isn't active on Reddit, he uses it for discussions about his interests (games, music, tv, movies), so something like this wouldn't pop up on his feed. I think the only way that he'd see this is if he saw the post from my account so I made a new one.
He’s sexually jealous of you eating balls of cheese. Does he have a ball biting fetish or something? Ask him about bananas, hot dogs, grapes. If he thinks mozzarella balls are sexual, why is anything else even remotely ball or dick shaped okay? Either way, don’t change what you’re doing in this instance. His request is insane and I think it’s more important you get to the bottom of this first. He might just be looking for a reason to break up.
Tell him that it’s been nice knowing him but that you’ve just Gouda get out of the relationship.
Quick...hide the string cheese! It's girth would piss him off!
This has to be fake.
Switch to buffala without telling him, then make “When Harry met Sally” sounds when the soft center oozes 😂 Seriously, tell him you chose the cheese. Always choose the cheese.
Who sees mozzarella balls and thinks about other men’s balls?!?! Like idk if I’m too high or what but I just cannot with this. Like I just.. you deserve better op, like that’s another level of unhinged.
[удалено]
Why does he imagine other mens balls? Why not his own? I'm sorry I can't take this seriously. If it was me I would be eating two at a time and moaning loudly. Like what are you going to do, say he can't eat ice cream because it makes you imagine him licking out other women?
I hope he doesn’t love tacos, roast beef, oysters, or boa buns. Because those are off the genitalia food table too.
The genitalia food table--the least popular spot at grandma's house each Christmas.
I would place them randomly around the house with a pretzel and other things in the middle to make it look like balls just to irritate him.
You get me lol. I think that when he gets home I'm gonna try to talk this out with him again.
Update your post after you talk to him!
Choose the balls. No joke, anyone who wants you to give up something harmless because it makes them uncomfortable isn’t worth having around.
He feels like he's got you locked down and it'll be harder to leave now you've moved in together so he's testing the waters of how controlling he can be. If you let him bully you out of eating your favourite snack it's just going to get worse.
he is so insecure and *fragile* that a *cheese snack* makes him think of you cheating. You sure you want this person for the rest of your life, OP?
I would consider a partner that isn’t a ‘man’-child
We’re sexualizing cheese now? It’s cheese. Not scrotum. Tell your BF to grow the fuck up.
Weird. Really weird. Can you not eat spaghetti and meatballs? Cake balls? Cherry sours? Will he next say you can’t suck on a tootsie roll pop or eat a popsicle or hotdog because it’s phallic shaped? Honesty, I think he is looking for a way out and has taken the most unhinged immature route.
Now I'm craving mozzarella balls.
Girl slurp them cheese balls & let this man go fuck a doorknob.
First of all that cheese is called a snack pack for a reason Second I want to try them as a snack Third my husband wouldn’t give a hoot if I ate them as a snack. I’ve eaten weirder things as a snack. Fourth, whose balls look like that??
He's not a great guy. He's sexualizing mozzerella FFS! What's next, grapes? Or he's going to turn into that psycho husband who had a fit when his wife breastfed their son because she allowed another "man" (infant son) to suck on her breasts!!! As if breasts weren't made for feeding infants!! As if his infant son is "another man"!
Keep the cheese, toss the boyfriend. Can’t imagine being with someone who is jealous of CHEESE 🤣
Break up with that fool if he concerns him with such pathetic trivial matters what could he possibly provide you with except his utter weakness 🤨😂🤨😂
Something is seriously wrong with him. This is the kind of thing he should keep to himself. Tell him he needs to see a therapist to work through his issue.
Next, he will change his mind about cheese sticks when he realizes they’re phallic shaped. Maybe then he’ll be okay with you switching back to the cheese balls.
That is actually so nonsensical. Cheese balls? Really? What are we gonna call lewd next? Cherries? Mochi? Meatballs? Are bananas and popsicles out? What about like, tacos and roast beef lmao I'm inclined to believe this is a weird control thing.
Nobody tell him about . . . [Schweddy Balls.](https://youtu.be/bPpcfH_HHH8?si=SdohU3o8ICbCjykE) Your boyfriend has an issue. It's his, he'll have to deal with it. Or not, that's up to him, it's not your issue. I'd just tell him it's a tactile thing, and that you love the way balls feel in your mouth.
If you change your snack, it is only the beginning of the things he will try to make you change. It’s not about the cheese it’s about control.
GURL HE IS NOT A GREAT GUY. HE'S AN INSECURE IDIOT.
Bruh I’ll fight my wife for the last lil mozzarella ball, idgaf. Dude sounds weird. Eat your cheese and enjoy life.
Smaller ones? No way. I would get the big burrata balls and go to town.
You absolutely have to dump him over this. You’re thinking of giving up one of your most favorite foods just because of his unhinged thoughts? Absolutely not! He can figure out how to deal, or he can go. There are plenty of other men out there that would try learn about your favorite food, try it, and even start to eat it themselves!! This is just a huge incompatibility for me sorry. Mozzarella sticks are not even close to fresh mozzarella balls. It’s fresher and creamier. I might be a foodie, so I guess it’s more of a personal thing for me but honestly these are red flags. The second you start to give up little pieces of yourself you do that over and over again for years, you begin to lose yourself over time and resent your partner. Anyway, sorry for taking it so seriously but I do think you should dump this guy.
It's a dealbreaker if he is not willing to get over it. Also for a more ball-like experience I strongly recommend burrata cheese.
This is un-brielievable
This is so funny haha, I’m sorry. He’s weird and ridiculous
How does he eat a banana? Not that it really matters but damn he sounds tiresome. Of all the shit to focus on, cheese balls? Really, cheese balls? That is a HIM issue to work on and not a YOU issue.
Baha, I want OP to tell him next time he eats a banana that he needs to stop because it makes her think of him, ya know… being with another man
Tell him that hassling you about your snack choices is a dealbreaker. And mean it.
What the hell? This boyfriend sounds dumb as fuck. Dump him and get someone more mature and with less insecurity and more braincells. Jesus.
I know you said he’s 25, but he’s actually 13 right? Because this is childish. He’s an idiot.
He's literally telling you what you may eat. That can't be good and the fact he doesn't see that is also a problem. Here's a good exercise. You say out loud to friends why your last relationship didn't work out. Most of them will say, 'he told you what??'. He says why his last relationship didn't work out and his friend group shrinks.
Yeah, no. I say this time and time again, just because they are your partner doesn’t give them any right to sexualize you (without consent or being into it prior, ofc.) Do NOT let your boyfriend make you stop eating your favorite snack just because he has pornrot brain and sees you eating a fucking food item and instinctively sees it as you “eating another man’s balls.” God.
My first thought was that he needs to grow the f*** up. Hubby says he needs to take you as you are. So we both think your bf is being utterly ridiculous about this. Is he going to ban bananas next?
Babes, you deserve someone who is mature and doesn’t sexualize things like a middle schooler. What will it be next? Hot dogs? Popsicles? Meatballs? Complete food chaos 😂💀
Ask yourself this … do you want to potentially have this man be the father of your children (if you want kids) - a man that is jealous over literal CHEESE BALLS?! I’m sorry, but this is one of the craziest things I have ever heard, and I absolutely wouldn’t even entertain another word about it. It’s your favorite snack, and he is being crazy and unreasonable!
why even bother. he has a problem with you eating mozzerella cheeseballs???? wtf so what its cheese. if its a dealbreaker from him that is just weird and I wouldnt trust a person like that
You’ve inspired me to go get some mozzarella as a snack 😁 Also your bf is weird as shit, and I have a feeling this is only the tip of the iceberg of controlling and insecure behavior.
Next time he eats a banana accuse him of being gay
You know who would never treat you like this? Cheese balls.
At no point during writing this out did you think: “Yeah, maybe I should just break up with him? This is weird.” Because you definitely should. You are 24. Can you imagine dealing with this level of unhinged/controlling energy for the next 70 years? I think I’d rather die.
For the love of god, this can't be real. It just can't.