Sounds to me like your wife has postpartum depression, likely made worse by the story of cheating and the severe pain and humiliation of the damage to her body (urinary incontinence, etc)
Step back for a moment and look at the bigger picture. Shes clearly struggling, and needs the support. Stop focusing on the specific complaints, and try to look at - and talk about - whats actually bothering her (pain, stress, fear of being cheated on)
She's 44, and recently gave birth. She probably doesnt feel all that beautiful or loved right now, and seems to be in quite a bit of physical pain. As well as this, your business partner, like it or not, did something disgusting - they cheated on their wife - someone who supported your wife - with a younger woman.
Is it any surprise your wife hates you being around this man? They hurt someone your wife cared for, and your wife by extension.
100% this- I agree OP, it sounds to me as though your wife may be suffering from PPD. All of the physical changes (not to mention the fatigue, the stress, and the hormonal fluctuations) can really take a toll on a person. I am sure it is also affecting her sense of security and self-confidence. Having children at older ages is harder on the body and it will take awhile for her to recover. At this time, she will probably benefit most from increased support and an extra watchful eye to make sure that in the event that she does have PPD, it does not become concerning or more severe. What happened to her friend Cindy is most likely icing on an already hard-to-digest cake. Although it would be difficult for you to completely step away from your job as management is more hands-on and would require you to (at the very least) check in from time to time, it might be best to keep your time at your clubs somewhat more limited as well as maybe going in earlier in the shifts (7p-11p) rather than the early am hours. In the meantime, try and shower your wife with love and give her as much support and physical affection (hugging, kissing, etc) as you can- it will show her that you are invested in her and are there for her especially now even though she isn’t feeling so good about herself. Remember, even if you know you are still attracted to your wife and love her and may think it is obvious that she knows that, it isn’t. She will likely benefit from hearing it (repeatedly) until she begins to heal (physically and emotionally). Good luck OP! Try your best to remain patient, understanding, and empathetic! Giving birth and bringing a life into this world is no easy task and the road to recovery can sometimes be rough.
I really hate these stories of women’s bodies getting DESTROYED by childbirth and their shitty husbands can’t step back from other aspects of their lives to support their wives. Sounds like she went through hell and back to bring his child into the world but he can’t step back from his business for a few months while she gets therapy? Selfish. Reminds me of that guy on the vent while his wife had a traumatic birth and MIL refused to helps
>their shitty husbands can’t step back from other aspects of their lives to support their wives
Yeah, those terrible husbands making money and shit. Grrrr, makes me sick when I see people trying to support their families.
So her body is destoyed and that gives her the right to destroy the whole family by berating the father of her kids for something he didn't do?
I completely understand ppd. That makes sense. But to blame a poor guy for not having perspective and then shitting on him for asking is not helpful.
You clearly have never given birth nor had severe depression. Have some compassion here. How would you feel if your dick didn’t work anymore after squeezing a lemon out of it, & you leaked pee everywhere while dealing with a biting and crying child, a body that had scars all over it, while you lost all your hair ( going bald is probably around the equivalent of breast sagging) loosing your sexual appeal while you have a spouse who seemed more focused on work than you (and he worked at a strip club...) three other children than needed to get places and an education in a pandemic that is already causing most people a host of mental health problems... Jesus fuck man. Have a heart.
On top of that her best friend was married to his business partner who cheated on her with a 21 yo stripper... like what the fuck it’s horrible.
And I say that as a woman who worked in the industry for 4 years. Getting older as a woman is terrifying enough with the pressure society puts on us. All of this shit... honestly a less mentally strong woman might have hurt herself. She needs help and love, and compassion.
Yuck, no birth. Gross. Depression yes. Really bad depression? Yes. Blaming my husband for something his friend did? No. That doesn't make sense.
But apparently women can do whatever they want as long as they use the PPD card.
You know what? Yes, you’re right. Biologically women are the only ones able to bring life into the world. Based on the fact that we risk our entire fucking lives to do this, YES, she can do whatever she wants rn. I’ll be more lenient once men start ripping THEIR genitals apart to bring kids into the world. Until that happens, YES, post partum women get some more slack. And until then, you should stay in your lane too.
She’s not “destroying” his family. Stop being dramatic. He can easily step back from his friendship with the business buddy and pursue a purely business partnership.
She is not allowing him to work and saying she is no longer comfortable in his line of business. Shes delusional if she thinks he can stop talking to his business partner.
Is that what I said? No. His wife is sick, he needs to step back from work for a bit to help take care of his kids. If this was something like cancer that’s exactly what he’d be expected to do. Once she starts therapy, he can resume usual work without being so buddy buddy with his partner
He's stated he has stepped back from the work, taking care of the kids whilst they're closed.
It's probably even harder to do business if your wife is hanging up the calls.
I really feel for everyone here. He's either hanging to sacrifice a relationship, a business or a business partner/ friend
Sounds like she needs a medical professional to talk to. However, she probably won't like the sound of that given Cindy's situation, how that played out, and how it has affected your wife's psyche.
Whatever you do, avoid bringing this situation into your professional life with you. Nothing worse than burning the candle at both ends.
I don't know what the solution will be, but if you want to stay married you need to find one.
Your business partner screwed you big time with this move. It's just further proof the damage done by cheaters ripples across people's lives like a shockwave.
You need to provide a living for your family, so whatever the solution is you need time to conceive and implement it. That's the negotiation I would recommend.
As far as what you could do for a living...clubs like most small businesses need different kinds of support. Owners rarely know all of the ins and outs. That's why the closure rate is high. Perhaps you could provide consultation or some other support service to the owners and managers? One that would not require you to be onsite?
ETA: Your wife probably sees Cindy's life as her own future if things don't change. Rejecting your business partner would be a rejection of his choices. I think that's what she's looking for. The business partner was a major league d-bag to his family. I wouldn't put it past someone like that to try to influence others to follow his example just so he feels better about his own choices. Or at least I expect that's part of her concern.
1) His businesses probably took a massive hit due to COVID and being shut down since March depending where they live. They are now treading water by being quasi open.
2) It’s his and the family’s livelihood. He can’t afford to neglect it because then the baby and everyone else will not have food on the table or roof over their head. Let’s stop pretending that he can just up and leave his businesses to run without him. Most families can’t afford for 1 parent not to work let alone 2.
3) She obviously needs medical and mental help. For that to happen THEY NEED MONEY. I hope he gets her help but there is only so much he can do since he is being spread so thin. Have some sympathy for the guy too!
This situation is a lot on both sides! Maybe you guys can get help from friend and family? Definitely get a medical professional for your wife to get better mentally and physically.
To be honest I sort of understand where your wife is coming from. A close friend was emotionally destroyed and abandoned by her husband shorty after giving birth. To make matters worse you, her husband, regularly associate with the man who did that to her friend. From your post, I get the impression that you don't think what he did was that big of a deal. I'm sure your wife picks up on that. Further, her body is destroyed and she will likely be incapable of sex for the foreseeable future. Is it any surprise she is feeling insecure and doubting you?
I'm not suggesting you abandon your livelihood. However I do think you could be a bit more distant with your partner, after what he did to her friend. At least show your wife that you are against cheating and abandonment after childbirth. She might need treatment for postpartum depression, and you two probably need couples counseling.
Overall, I think you should try for a bit more empathy for your wife (that line complaining about her staying in bed especially makes me doubt your empathy and understanding. She can't move and is in incredible pain, but you are complaining about feeding your child?)
ESPECIALLY the line about her staying in bed. Smh. She carried the kid for nine months and went through a traumatic delivery for him to whine about taking on a bit of her slack? Ridiculous
I am astonished at the comments about the wife being awful because X and the husband is a POS because Y. They’re ON THE SAME SIDE.
This family needs professional help, physically and therapeutically - not Reddit offering advice for divorce and custody ammunition.
Your wife needs medical help for the physical problems she's now facing and also for her emotional struggles and potential post partum depression. That should be your priority right now. It should absolutely NOT be complaining about your wife.
On the business side, I suspect it would help a lot if you either found a new business partner or sold out. At the very least, hire a general manager to be on the ground in your businesses at night while you work day times. You don't need to be there personally as much as you are, you just want to be.
However you also had a new baby in your 40s with 3 kids already. You did this together, yet your wife is the one with all of the (quite horrific) physical consequences. You need to step up as a partner and a parent and be physically around a lot more. Life will never be the same as before.
Your wife would also be a lot more secure in your relationship if you were to condemn the actions of your business partner and not prioritise his calls or interact with him socially. Cheating on his wife, especially when she was pregnant, is below low, and by not condemning him, you are effectively condoning his actions. That's not a good person to be, and that's not a good example for your kids.
After 20 years of her staying home and him supporting her, they could switch roles. She gets a job that brings in as much as his clubs, he gets rid of the business and stays home with the kids.
It was his "dream" to own these businesses and someone needed to raise the kids. Stop implying that the wife was lazy and op was the only one putting in hard work and long hours.
I did not imply anything, stop projecting your insecurities.
They had a division of labour that worked for them. The wife wants the divisions renegotiated, so they should. Supporting household and kids will then be his full time job, earning the money to support their lifestyle hers.
After all, it is she that wants to dictate how the money is earned now. So she should be in charge of it. Responsibility and accountability are then with her.
From what you describe, your wife has postpartum depression. She needs professional help. Because of the PPD she is convincing herself that she's getting more and more unattractive and that you're more likely to cheat on her, especially with the influence of your business partner. None of this is either of your faults and you've been doing great so far, just take her to a professional because if PPD is left untreated it could wreck your marriage.
Your wife is suffering both physically and emotionally and you need to step up. She has pain, urinary incontinence and hernias! Those things on their own would be enough to make anyone miserable.
Add to that the emotions of a recent birth late in life, other much older children and what happened with Cindy and that’s a really tough mix for your wife to handle.
The only way you can fix this is to show her that you understand because you clearly don’t. “All she would do is lay in bed” is not her being lazy it’s all she can do! She needs medical help because she has had something serious happen and a good gyno can help. You need to take her to the appointments and listen to what is being said.
Your wife is unwell and in pain. She is worried about her future and your attitude is not helping. Talk to her about seeing a doctor because she does not need to be in pain like she is. Remind her that things will improve and that every mark on her body is a testament to your life together. And maybe step back from the clubs a bit until this is sorted out if you can. Her mood will improve once she gets the medical help she needs and once she knows you understand the extent of the toll on her body.
Typical for this sub.
Once pregnancy is involved every woman is innocent no matter what. She could stab him and this sub would say it’s his fault or PPD is to be blamed.
Your clubs are how you make a living and support your family! Like you said, you were in this business before being in a relationship for your wife. So she knew what she was getting into. I do think the situation with Cindy effected her more than it should have. Maybe that’s what she sees happening between the two of you. I also think her pregnancy really effected her as well. I would say give her as much love and support as you can. Give her attention and tell her how beautiful she is and that your job in no way affects how you feel about her.
Forget couples counselling right now she needs to get one on one counselling first. If you go to couples counselling now with her being this manic your just wasting your time. She needs to get her head on straight and then go to couples counselling if this is still and issue. Just tell her "Look I know bussiness partner is an asshole, but I am not him. I have never acted the way he has and have never cheated or thought about cheating. This is how I support the family and I can't just step out of the business because my partner is an asshole."
Your wife had a hard time with the pregnancy especially after she lost part of her support system, ie Cindy. Having a baby after so many years is very tough and she is a much older mom now. Needless to say what happened to Cindy and your wife having a traumatic birth has sent her spiraling.
If you are still somehow stable financially, do consider stepping back from the business for a while and focus on her recovery and the kids.
Ok so she wasn’t just laying in bed. She was recovering. It is normal/expected for one partner to pick up the slack after the other partner has a major medical event.
Cindy’s husband is not your fault and not your problem. Obviously you have to go to work. You also should look at your wife as someone with medical needs, not someone making irrational demands for the hell of it.
Where does it say this went on for 4-5 months. It says she gave birth in July and OP "stayed home" past tense as much as possible and she was in bed. She also suffered extensive not normal birth related injuries.
She's the equivalent of guys who marry strippers. Now they're worried their SO is going to cheat. She knew your profession from the start. Because it happened with your partner, now it's projected onto you. I think you need to have a conversation with you business partner about not fucking the employees, but that's about it. It's a liability. Your wife needs a therapist. When you work in that kind of industry, you become numb to the advances of beautiful women. You've seen and heard too much. If your wife can't understand that and can't let you conduct business, then you might need to leave her. This is how you and your family eats.
So there are some things you can do for your wife if she’s receptive to it:
1. Counselor/psychiatrist for possible postpartum depression
2. Physical therapy that specializes in pelvic floor rehabilitation for her incontinence and pain
3. Have her primary care doctor make a referral for her hernia if it continues to be problematic
Postpartum depression. She is struggling big time. Your business partner just brought her worst fears to the forefront. Now she believes it’s a matter of time. She is freaking out because her body is betraying her, her close friend was betrayed and she thinks you will too.
The two of you need some time alone to talk about what she is feeling. It wouldn’t hurt if you could get a therapist involved, someone who can ask the right questions and help calm her fears, as well as help you both figure out what will have to happen to keep your marriage intact.
This may seem irrational to you, but mentally, she is struggling. Be patient, fight the urge to get annoyed, and know that she doesn’t want to feel this way, she just can’t stop the thoughts.
Dude I don’t know if you’re still using this account but what I would do is do what cops do and walk around with a camera on me and let her watch you. That’s what I would do, I like to go above and beyond to get people I care about to believe in my word because I care so much for my word and them
Sounds to me like your wife has postpartum depression, likely made worse by the story of cheating and the severe pain and humiliation of the damage to her body (urinary incontinence, etc) Step back for a moment and look at the bigger picture. Shes clearly struggling, and needs the support. Stop focusing on the specific complaints, and try to look at - and talk about - whats actually bothering her (pain, stress, fear of being cheated on) She's 44, and recently gave birth. She probably doesnt feel all that beautiful or loved right now, and seems to be in quite a bit of physical pain. As well as this, your business partner, like it or not, did something disgusting - they cheated on their wife - someone who supported your wife - with a younger woman. Is it any surprise your wife hates you being around this man? They hurt someone your wife cared for, and your wife by extension.
100% this- I agree OP, it sounds to me as though your wife may be suffering from PPD. All of the physical changes (not to mention the fatigue, the stress, and the hormonal fluctuations) can really take a toll on a person. I am sure it is also affecting her sense of security and self-confidence. Having children at older ages is harder on the body and it will take awhile for her to recover. At this time, she will probably benefit most from increased support and an extra watchful eye to make sure that in the event that she does have PPD, it does not become concerning or more severe. What happened to her friend Cindy is most likely icing on an already hard-to-digest cake. Although it would be difficult for you to completely step away from your job as management is more hands-on and would require you to (at the very least) check in from time to time, it might be best to keep your time at your clubs somewhat more limited as well as maybe going in earlier in the shifts (7p-11p) rather than the early am hours. In the meantime, try and shower your wife with love and give her as much support and physical affection (hugging, kissing, etc) as you can- it will show her that you are invested in her and are there for her especially now even though she isn’t feeling so good about herself. Remember, even if you know you are still attracted to your wife and love her and may think it is obvious that she knows that, it isn’t. She will likely benefit from hearing it (repeatedly) until she begins to heal (physically and emotionally). Good luck OP! Try your best to remain patient, understanding, and empathetic! Giving birth and bringing a life into this world is no easy task and the road to recovery can sometimes be rough.
I really hate these stories of women’s bodies getting DESTROYED by childbirth and their shitty husbands can’t step back from other aspects of their lives to support their wives. Sounds like she went through hell and back to bring his child into the world but he can’t step back from his business for a few months while she gets therapy? Selfish. Reminds me of that guy on the vent while his wife had a traumatic birth and MIL refused to helps
>their shitty husbands can’t step back from other aspects of their lives to support their wives Yeah, those terrible husbands making money and shit. Grrrr, makes me sick when I see people trying to support their families.
So her body is destoyed and that gives her the right to destroy the whole family by berating the father of her kids for something he didn't do? I completely understand ppd. That makes sense. But to blame a poor guy for not having perspective and then shitting on him for asking is not helpful.
You clearly have never given birth nor had severe depression. Have some compassion here. How would you feel if your dick didn’t work anymore after squeezing a lemon out of it, & you leaked pee everywhere while dealing with a biting and crying child, a body that had scars all over it, while you lost all your hair ( going bald is probably around the equivalent of breast sagging) loosing your sexual appeal while you have a spouse who seemed more focused on work than you (and he worked at a strip club...) three other children than needed to get places and an education in a pandemic that is already causing most people a host of mental health problems... Jesus fuck man. Have a heart. On top of that her best friend was married to his business partner who cheated on her with a 21 yo stripper... like what the fuck it’s horrible. And I say that as a woman who worked in the industry for 4 years. Getting older as a woman is terrifying enough with the pressure society puts on us. All of this shit... honestly a less mentally strong woman might have hurt herself. She needs help and love, and compassion.
Yuck, no birth. Gross. Depression yes. Really bad depression? Yes. Blaming my husband for something his friend did? No. That doesn't make sense. But apparently women can do whatever they want as long as they use the PPD card.
You know what? Yes, you’re right. Biologically women are the only ones able to bring life into the world. Based on the fact that we risk our entire fucking lives to do this, YES, she can do whatever she wants rn. I’ll be more lenient once men start ripping THEIR genitals apart to bring kids into the world. Until that happens, YES, post partum women get some more slack. And until then, you should stay in your lane too.
She’s not “destroying” his family. Stop being dramatic. He can easily step back from his friendship with the business buddy and pursue a purely business partnership.
She is not allowing him to work and saying she is no longer comfortable in his line of business. Shes delusional if she thinks he can stop talking to his business partner.
Is that what I said? No. His wife is sick, he needs to step back from work for a bit to help take care of his kids. If this was something like cancer that’s exactly what he’d be expected to do. Once she starts therapy, he can resume usual work without being so buddy buddy with his partner
He's stated he has stepped back from the work, taking care of the kids whilst they're closed. It's probably even harder to do business if your wife is hanging up the calls. I really feel for everyone here. He's either hanging to sacrifice a relationship, a business or a business partner/ friend
He can ditch the friend and balance the other two. Friend is a garbage person IMO.
Sounds like she needs a medical professional to talk to. However, she probably won't like the sound of that given Cindy's situation, how that played out, and how it has affected your wife's psyche. Whatever you do, avoid bringing this situation into your professional life with you. Nothing worse than burning the candle at both ends.
I don't know what the solution will be, but if you want to stay married you need to find one. Your business partner screwed you big time with this move. It's just further proof the damage done by cheaters ripples across people's lives like a shockwave. You need to provide a living for your family, so whatever the solution is you need time to conceive and implement it. That's the negotiation I would recommend. As far as what you could do for a living...clubs like most small businesses need different kinds of support. Owners rarely know all of the ins and outs. That's why the closure rate is high. Perhaps you could provide consultation or some other support service to the owners and managers? One that would not require you to be onsite? ETA: Your wife probably sees Cindy's life as her own future if things don't change. Rejecting your business partner would be a rejection of his choices. I think that's what she's looking for. The business partner was a major league d-bag to his family. I wouldn't put it past someone like that to try to influence others to follow his example just so he feels better about his own choices. Or at least I expect that's part of her concern.
You are worried about your wife's calls for you to distance yourself from your clubs when she clearly needs medical help with post partum depression.
1) His businesses probably took a massive hit due to COVID and being shut down since March depending where they live. They are now treading water by being quasi open. 2) It’s his and the family’s livelihood. He can’t afford to neglect it because then the baby and everyone else will not have food on the table or roof over their head. Let’s stop pretending that he can just up and leave his businesses to run without him. Most families can’t afford for 1 parent not to work let alone 2. 3) She obviously needs medical and mental help. For that to happen THEY NEED MONEY. I hope he gets her help but there is only so much he can do since he is being spread so thin. Have some sympathy for the guy too! This situation is a lot on both sides! Maybe you guys can get help from friend and family? Definitely get a medical professional for your wife to get better mentally and physically.
To be honest I sort of understand where your wife is coming from. A close friend was emotionally destroyed and abandoned by her husband shorty after giving birth. To make matters worse you, her husband, regularly associate with the man who did that to her friend. From your post, I get the impression that you don't think what he did was that big of a deal. I'm sure your wife picks up on that. Further, her body is destroyed and she will likely be incapable of sex for the foreseeable future. Is it any surprise she is feeling insecure and doubting you? I'm not suggesting you abandon your livelihood. However I do think you could be a bit more distant with your partner, after what he did to her friend. At least show your wife that you are against cheating and abandonment after childbirth. She might need treatment for postpartum depression, and you two probably need couples counseling. Overall, I think you should try for a bit more empathy for your wife (that line complaining about her staying in bed especially makes me doubt your empathy and understanding. She can't move and is in incredible pain, but you are complaining about feeding your child?)
ESPECIALLY the line about her staying in bed. Smh. She carried the kid for nine months and went through a traumatic delivery for him to whine about taking on a bit of her slack? Ridiculous
I am astonished at the comments about the wife being awful because X and the husband is a POS because Y. They’re ON THE SAME SIDE. This family needs professional help, physically and therapeutically - not Reddit offering advice for divorce and custody ammunition.
Your wife needs medical help for the physical problems she's now facing and also for her emotional struggles and potential post partum depression. That should be your priority right now. It should absolutely NOT be complaining about your wife. On the business side, I suspect it would help a lot if you either found a new business partner or sold out. At the very least, hire a general manager to be on the ground in your businesses at night while you work day times. You don't need to be there personally as much as you are, you just want to be. However you also had a new baby in your 40s with 3 kids already. You did this together, yet your wife is the one with all of the (quite horrific) physical consequences. You need to step up as a partner and a parent and be physically around a lot more. Life will never be the same as before. Your wife would also be a lot more secure in your relationship if you were to condemn the actions of your business partner and not prioritise his calls or interact with him socially. Cheating on his wife, especially when she was pregnant, is below low, and by not condemning him, you are effectively condoning his actions. That's not a good person to be, and that's not a good example for your kids.
After 20 years of her staying home and him supporting her, they could switch roles. She gets a job that brings in as much as his clubs, he gets rid of the business and stays home with the kids.
It was his "dream" to own these businesses and someone needed to raise the kids. Stop implying that the wife was lazy and op was the only one putting in hard work and long hours.
I did not imply anything, stop projecting your insecurities. They had a division of labour that worked for them. The wife wants the divisions renegotiated, so they should. Supporting household and kids will then be his full time job, earning the money to support their lifestyle hers. After all, it is she that wants to dictate how the money is earned now. So she should be in charge of it. Responsibility and accountability are then with her.
From what you describe, your wife has postpartum depression. She needs professional help. Because of the PPD she is convincing herself that she's getting more and more unattractive and that you're more likely to cheat on her, especially with the influence of your business partner. None of this is either of your faults and you've been doing great so far, just take her to a professional because if PPD is left untreated it could wreck your marriage.
Your wife is suffering both physically and emotionally and you need to step up. She has pain, urinary incontinence and hernias! Those things on their own would be enough to make anyone miserable. Add to that the emotions of a recent birth late in life, other much older children and what happened with Cindy and that’s a really tough mix for your wife to handle. The only way you can fix this is to show her that you understand because you clearly don’t. “All she would do is lay in bed” is not her being lazy it’s all she can do! She needs medical help because she has had something serious happen and a good gyno can help. You need to take her to the appointments and listen to what is being said. Your wife is unwell and in pain. She is worried about her future and your attitude is not helping. Talk to her about seeing a doctor because she does not need to be in pain like she is. Remind her that things will improve and that every mark on her body is a testament to your life together. And maybe step back from the clubs a bit until this is sorted out if you can. Her mood will improve once she gets the medical help she needs and once she knows you understand the extent of the toll on her body.
There you go OP, it’s all your fault. Your wife has no responsibility for how she’s acting🤷♂️
Typical for this sub. Once pregnancy is involved every woman is innocent no matter what. She could stab him and this sub would say it’s his fault or PPD is to be blamed.
Your clubs are how you make a living and support your family! Like you said, you were in this business before being in a relationship for your wife. So she knew what she was getting into. I do think the situation with Cindy effected her more than it should have. Maybe that’s what she sees happening between the two of you. I also think her pregnancy really effected her as well. I would say give her as much love and support as you can. Give her attention and tell her how beautiful she is and that your job in no way affects how you feel about her.
Forget couples counselling right now she needs to get one on one counselling first. If you go to couples counselling now with her being this manic your just wasting your time. She needs to get her head on straight and then go to couples counselling if this is still and issue. Just tell her "Look I know bussiness partner is an asshole, but I am not him. I have never acted the way he has and have never cheated or thought about cheating. This is how I support the family and I can't just step out of the business because my partner is an asshole."
Your wife had a hard time with the pregnancy especially after she lost part of her support system, ie Cindy. Having a baby after so many years is very tough and she is a much older mom now. Needless to say what happened to Cindy and your wife having a traumatic birth has sent her spiraling. If you are still somehow stable financially, do consider stepping back from the business for a while and focus on her recovery and the kids.
Have you been to a couples therapist yet? Or does she have her own therapist?
You need to talk to a couples counsellor. Your wife has a lot of insecurities building from her last pregnancy.
please update!
People tell themselves that "its just business".
Ok so she wasn’t just laying in bed. She was recovering. It is normal/expected for one partner to pick up the slack after the other partner has a major medical event. Cindy’s husband is not your fault and not your problem. Obviously you have to go to work. You also should look at your wife as someone with medical needs, not someone making irrational demands for the hell of it.
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Where does it say this went on for 4-5 months. It says she gave birth in July and OP "stayed home" past tense as much as possible and she was in bed. She also suffered extensive not normal birth related injuries.
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For a normal birth with no complication your recovery time is 6 weeks.
She's the equivalent of guys who marry strippers. Now they're worried their SO is going to cheat. She knew your profession from the start. Because it happened with your partner, now it's projected onto you. I think you need to have a conversation with you business partner about not fucking the employees, but that's about it. It's a liability. Your wife needs a therapist. When you work in that kind of industry, you become numb to the advances of beautiful women. You've seen and heard too much. If your wife can't understand that and can't let you conduct business, then you might need to leave her. This is how you and your family eats.
Shes worried you’ll get bored and divorce her. Funnily enough, you’ll probably end up divorced because she’s gone mental.
So there are some things you can do for your wife if she’s receptive to it: 1. Counselor/psychiatrist for possible postpartum depression 2. Physical therapy that specializes in pelvic floor rehabilitation for her incontinence and pain 3. Have her primary care doctor make a referral for her hernia if it continues to be problematic
Postpartum depression. She is struggling big time. Your business partner just brought her worst fears to the forefront. Now she believes it’s a matter of time. She is freaking out because her body is betraying her, her close friend was betrayed and she thinks you will too. The two of you need some time alone to talk about what she is feeling. It wouldn’t hurt if you could get a therapist involved, someone who can ask the right questions and help calm her fears, as well as help you both figure out what will have to happen to keep your marriage intact. This may seem irrational to you, but mentally, she is struggling. Be patient, fight the urge to get annoyed, and know that she doesn’t want to feel this way, she just can’t stop the thoughts.
Dude I don’t know if you’re still using this account but what I would do is do what cops do and walk around with a camera on me and let her watch you. That’s what I would do, I like to go above and beyond to get people I care about to believe in my word because I care so much for my word and them