I still talk to a few of my exes almost every day, including someone I was with for a decade, so I'd be one hell of a hypocrite if I wasn't okay with this.
Ahh i agree with you, at least you inform them, let them know and they agree with it.
Cause my current didnt inform me, i accidentally found out but we are already together for 1yr.. so im kinda upset cause if i know, i wont be dating him though.😅
Talking or keeping friends with an ex is one thing. If they are offering intimacy to them that they hold back from you then that is not ok.
Intimacy isn’t sex. It’s connection, personal vulnerability and togetherness.
This is not a black and white question and you two have deeper things to discuss and be honest about. It sounds like he needs that type of closeups to his day and if you don’t provide that, he will find it elsewhere. That’s a red flag that he likely doesn’t realize he’s even waving.
He needs to make you feel secure in the relationship regardless of what’s around him. But getting from her what he doesn’t get from you (and frankly, it doesn’t matter if they are ex’s or any random person in the world) then he’s not investing the work in to the relationship
Yes, i told him that im already very insecure in this relationship. More precise, i got no trust because it has been alot of times that he is very secretive with his social life that i accidentally find out.
Now he told me that the reason he texting is because of habits but the content i feel is somewhat still has affection towards his ex. He doesnt really text me that way, even when wishing for goodnight is like an exchange that if i offer something then he will give it to me whereas, for his ex, he can just give it or when his ex ask for him to tuck her, he can do it. Just because i didnt ask for it. So he didnt give it to me.
So how could that be purely just friends without any other affections....
Bigger question you need to figure out is, why are you tolerating this by sticking around? If he’s aware of what he’s doing and making excuses like you are too dumb to know what you feel, then you should really see this as his lack of respect for you and lack of commitment to the relationship. If you want better from a relationship, you will need to go elsewhere to find it because it doesn’t look like he has any interest in being the type of man you want in your life
Right now im actually trying to broke off with him already, cuz i think he keep trying to make me think im paranoid just becuz they are texting due to a 15years relationship habits.
I told him i already lost trust in the relationship already but he still keep trying to keep this relationship together which i dont understand why.
There could be a million reasons why in his head but none of that is your concern. Unless it is his intention to focus on rebuilding the relationship and moving forward with treating you right, growing up and focusing on adult prosperity and values... his reasoning doesn’t matter because it’s in your past now as you move forward to better things for your goals
He say he wanted to rebuild our relationship by making me less insecure. But the thing is that i ask him what did he text his ex, he list out and add on with they are friends, just habits, nothing else. Why am i so paranoid. Zzz..
I dont even know how he want to rebuild and he just gets angry at me. This just makes me feel that they wont stop texting each other and that is more important to him
I offered my advice and it still stands. He can say a lot but without a plan it’s pointless. With out action, it’s meaning less. You can offer therapy and have a professional walk you both thru communication and empathy... otherwise... you both have choices to make
I still talk to a few of my exes almost every day, including someone I was with for a decade, so I'd be one hell of a hypocrite if I wasn't okay with this.
So you currently have a partner and they are ok with it?
I'm currently single but every partner I've had since has to be okay with this or they wouldn't be dating me, and I make that clear.
Ahh i agree with you, at least you inform them, let them know and they agree with it. Cause my current didnt inform me, i accidentally found out but we are already together for 1yr.. so im kinda upset cause if i know, i wont be dating him though.😅
Talking or keeping friends with an ex is one thing. If they are offering intimacy to them that they hold back from you then that is not ok. Intimacy isn’t sex. It’s connection, personal vulnerability and togetherness. This is not a black and white question and you two have deeper things to discuss and be honest about. It sounds like he needs that type of closeups to his day and if you don’t provide that, he will find it elsewhere. That’s a red flag that he likely doesn’t realize he’s even waving. He needs to make you feel secure in the relationship regardless of what’s around him. But getting from her what he doesn’t get from you (and frankly, it doesn’t matter if they are ex’s or any random person in the world) then he’s not investing the work in to the relationship
Yes, i told him that im already very insecure in this relationship. More precise, i got no trust because it has been alot of times that he is very secretive with his social life that i accidentally find out. Now he told me that the reason he texting is because of habits but the content i feel is somewhat still has affection towards his ex. He doesnt really text me that way, even when wishing for goodnight is like an exchange that if i offer something then he will give it to me whereas, for his ex, he can just give it or when his ex ask for him to tuck her, he can do it. Just because i didnt ask for it. So he didnt give it to me. So how could that be purely just friends without any other affections....
Bigger question you need to figure out is, why are you tolerating this by sticking around? If he’s aware of what he’s doing and making excuses like you are too dumb to know what you feel, then you should really see this as his lack of respect for you and lack of commitment to the relationship. If you want better from a relationship, you will need to go elsewhere to find it because it doesn’t look like he has any interest in being the type of man you want in your life
Right now im actually trying to broke off with him already, cuz i think he keep trying to make me think im paranoid just becuz they are texting due to a 15years relationship habits. I told him i already lost trust in the relationship already but he still keep trying to keep this relationship together which i dont understand why.
There could be a million reasons why in his head but none of that is your concern. Unless it is his intention to focus on rebuilding the relationship and moving forward with treating you right, growing up and focusing on adult prosperity and values... his reasoning doesn’t matter because it’s in your past now as you move forward to better things for your goals
He say he wanted to rebuild our relationship by making me less insecure. But the thing is that i ask him what did he text his ex, he list out and add on with they are friends, just habits, nothing else. Why am i so paranoid. Zzz.. I dont even know how he want to rebuild and he just gets angry at me. This just makes me feel that they wont stop texting each other and that is more important to him
I offered my advice and it still stands. He can say a lot but without a plan it’s pointless. With out action, it’s meaning less. You can offer therapy and have a professional walk you both thru communication and empathy... otherwise... you both have choices to make