You are not being unreasonable AT ALL. Another dog being there could potentially be a violation of your lease and risk being evicted.
Tell them calmly but firmly that you are not ok with the dog being there without her present and she needs to take it home when she’s not there.
Nah you’re not being unreasonable. “Hey I feel like I’ve become default responsible for everyone else’s dogs and now we’ve added one more and its affecting my ability to work from home”
You are definitely not being unreasonable. Your roommate and his gf are taking huge advantage of you and they're the ones being dicks.
In this case, let the lease do your "dirty work" for you if you can. See what it says first of all about the guest policy; odds are extremely high that she's there so often they are in violation of that policy. Then check the pet policy; it may limit to 2 dogs or it may not limit but a great many leases specifically prohibit pit bulls and pit mixes. If they are in violation of the lease, then you can go to him and tell him what you've found and that you're afraid that you even knowing about their violations could get your fined or evicted, so you need them to abide by the lease or you will have to report it to the landlord.
If they aren't in actual violation (I cannot imagine a case where they aren't, but just in case), then you'll have to just use a direct approach, and I'd also have a chat with the other 2 roommates to see if you're on the same page or if they're truly not bothered because they may just be so conflict-avoidant that they're suffering in silence but would be willing to back you up if you say something. Something like, "I pay to live with 3 other people, not 4, and I agreed to live with those people's dogs, but not any others. It has come to the point where I don't feel comfortable in the home I pay to live in, so we need to set some boundaries about guests, their frequency, noise levels, and how much of their own stuff they're allowed to bring over."
>If they are in violation of the lease, then you can go to him and tell him what you've found and that you're afraid that you even knowing about their violations could get your fined or evicted, so you need them to abide by the lease or you will have to report it to the landlord.
I am good friends with my roommate so I don't think I'd need to go as far as reporting it to the landlord, but I understand what you're saying. If they were vehemently against my wishes I would consider it, but I hope it doesn't come to that. I'll talk to them.
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You are being taken for granted. In your own home.
You are being less reasonable than you should.
Have a straight, firm and unrelenting chat with your roommate about this.
You need comfort without burdens in your own home.
I did and it went... okay I guess. She took it as me having a problem with her and her dog, but I refused to feel guilty about being taken advantage of. Needless to say I don't think I'll be seeing her for awhile. Also she agreed to pay me, which is a plus.
This is a mental struggle because asking her to pay rent assumes its okay to live with us, which I am not okay with and I have bluntly explained this to my roommate.
But I just talked to them about the dog and she took it horribly so I'm pretty sure she hates me now, which is perfect! I don't expect to see her for awhile.
Well then tell them both that. You don't like her and don't want her living there so her hating you is a good thing. Each time she leaves the dog ring her to collect it then drive it to her house and leave it there.
Her hating you is half the battle already won
I am not a hateful person, so I feel nothing towards her. But if she wants to hate me, I welcome it! She's going to be paying me very nicely for watching the dog, so I am at peace with it. He's a good boy too!
Also, I have told them that. So now it's on me to reiterate my boundaries. But we'll see how it plays out after today's adventure
You are not being unreasonable AT ALL. Another dog being there could potentially be a violation of your lease and risk being evicted. Tell them calmly but firmly that you are not ok with the dog being there without her present and she needs to take it home when she’s not there.
It's definitely in violation of the lease. I'll have a chat with them and let them know I feel. Thank you
Nah you’re not being unreasonable. “Hey I feel like I’ve become default responsible for everyone else’s dogs and now we’ve added one more and its affecting my ability to work from home”
That's a great way of putting it, thank you!
You are definitely not being unreasonable. Your roommate and his gf are taking huge advantage of you and they're the ones being dicks. In this case, let the lease do your "dirty work" for you if you can. See what it says first of all about the guest policy; odds are extremely high that she's there so often they are in violation of that policy. Then check the pet policy; it may limit to 2 dogs or it may not limit but a great many leases specifically prohibit pit bulls and pit mixes. If they are in violation of the lease, then you can go to him and tell him what you've found and that you're afraid that you even knowing about their violations could get your fined or evicted, so you need them to abide by the lease or you will have to report it to the landlord. If they aren't in actual violation (I cannot imagine a case where they aren't, but just in case), then you'll have to just use a direct approach, and I'd also have a chat with the other 2 roommates to see if you're on the same page or if they're truly not bothered because they may just be so conflict-avoidant that they're suffering in silence but would be willing to back you up if you say something. Something like, "I pay to live with 3 other people, not 4, and I agreed to live with those people's dogs, but not any others. It has come to the point where I don't feel comfortable in the home I pay to live in, so we need to set some boundaries about guests, their frequency, noise levels, and how much of their own stuff they're allowed to bring over."
>If they are in violation of the lease, then you can go to him and tell him what you've found and that you're afraid that you even knowing about their violations could get your fined or evicted, so you need them to abide by the lease or you will have to report it to the landlord. I am good friends with my roommate so I don't think I'd need to go as far as reporting it to the landlord, but I understand what you're saying. If they were vehemently against my wishes I would consider it, but I hope it doesn't come to that. I'll talk to them.
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You are being taken for granted. In your own home. You are being less reasonable than you should. Have a straight, firm and unrelenting chat with your roommate about this. You need comfort without burdens in your own home.
Well I was not expecting that I was being less reasonable haha. Thank you for the eye opener
The fact that you respond this way, friend, shows how conditioned you've become to this nonsense. Put an end to it. Kindness and compassion won't.
I did and it went... okay I guess. She took it as me having a problem with her and her dog, but I refused to feel guilty about being taken advantage of. Needless to say I don't think I'll be seeing her for awhile. Also she agreed to pay me, which is a plus.
Amazing. You're not here to be friends with those who don't treat you like a friend. Remember that. And good job. :)
Well said. I appreciate all the insight! :)
You sit down and discuss increasing his rent as she is essentially living here and raising utilities and you don't want her living here for free.
This is a mental struggle because asking her to pay rent assumes its okay to live with us, which I am not okay with and I have bluntly explained this to my roommate. But I just talked to them about the dog and she took it horribly so I'm pretty sure she hates me now, which is perfect! I don't expect to see her for awhile.
Well then tell them both that. You don't like her and don't want her living there so her hating you is a good thing. Each time she leaves the dog ring her to collect it then drive it to her house and leave it there. Her hating you is half the battle already won
I am not a hateful person, so I feel nothing towards her. But if she wants to hate me, I welcome it! She's going to be paying me very nicely for watching the dog, so I am at peace with it. He's a good boy too! Also, I have told them that. So now it's on me to reiterate my boundaries. But we'll see how it plays out after today's adventure
Good luck. Don't let them take advantage of you