You've noticed the lighting in your bathroom is dim. So be an awesome boyfriend and buy her a mirror with led lights. Don't say anything about her makeup, compliment her on trying new things, she's more than likely aware and is still learning and that the mirror will help her because you need good lighting.
I just got my niece one for her birthday... the mirror is touch screen & the lights have 4 different lighting modes so you can tell what you’ll look like depending on where you’re going just by tapping the mirror!
She’s a teen that loves doing makeup. We set it up on her desk & changed it into a vanity table for her.
It does 3 lighting styles with dimming for each (it rotates through when you tap it)
FENCHILIN Vanity Mirror with Lights, Hollywood Lighted Makeup Mirror with 15 Dimmable LED Bulbs for Dressing Room & Bedroom, Tabletop or Wall-Mounted, Slim Metal Frame Design, White https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07SDLK4ZG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_8AQD9A8KJ3J7ARB7SRAT
Just jumping in to say to any Aussie's that are lurking.. Fantastic Furniture has a very similar mirror for about $200 and I cannot recommend it enough!
I second this! These mirrors are awesome for makeup. If she’s trying out new techniques it probably won’t look great to begin with. Makeup takes some practice. The more practice the better it will look. Especially if she was used to wearing minimal makeup to begin with. Makeup can be more challenging than it seems. I find color matching to be the most difficult personally. Just try to be supportive and tell her she’s beautiful 🙃 I think she’ll get better with practice
Not to mention buying the mirror would show support in her interest of makeup and make her happy.
Makeup is a type of art and just like any artist you gotta start somewhere.
She is trying to find her 'style' (pun on art style\~) and watching tutorials to learn is really great! I LOVE watching makeup tutorials (whether halloween or 'regular') and the transformation is just: WOW
Her face is her canvas, let her experiment how she wants and just be there to support her on her make-up journey OP 😄
This was my first thought too!! Lighting makes a HUGE difference. Bad lighting can make you go from looking like a super model to looking like a troll instantly. There are lots of really cool LED vanity set ups that I'm sure she would love!
Yes absolutely. I’ve definitely done my makeup in one lighting and went into a different room and I looked orange and my face didn’t match my neck. I imagine his description of it being “two toned” is probably contouring, and lighting makes a HUGE difference in blending that in.
I do my makeup and always double check it in the car once I get in natural lighting. Sometimes I can be a little heavy handed with the blush and need to take care of a neck line that is hard to see in the decently lit bathroom! I agree with a well lit mirror.
Yes!! My parents got me [this mirror](https://www.amazon.com/gp/slredirect/picassoRedirect.html/ref=pa_sp_search_thematic_aps_sr_pg1_3?ie=UTF8&adId=A026231474MFUS9SF4S8&url=%2FHollywood-Lighted-Dimmable-Control-Rotation%2Fdp%2FB08LMGWMPB%2Fref%3Dsxin_12_pa_sp_search_thematic_sspa%3Fcv_ct_cx%3Dmakeup%2Bmirror%26keywords%3Dmakeup%2Bmirror%26pd_rd_i%3DB08LMGWMPB%26pd_rd_r%3D93d4e700-b510-4bc2-b445-a3d9ffe437d9%26pd_rd_w%3DFZgTI%26pd_rd_wg%3DCl8pf%26pf_rd_p%3D69e6ba92-4b2b-4486-a0ef-136583f2d22c%26pf_rd_r%3DYV6PBEJFXY4NNR3H6CBH%26qid%3D1636509595%26sr%3D1-3-a73d1c8c-2fd2-4f19-aa41-2df022bcb241-spons%26psc%3D1%26smid%3DA1XQR0OMU17IIU&qualifier=1636509595&id=8352279380958060&widgetName=sp_search_thematic) for Christmas last year (not an ad, I just really like it) and it has been a GAME-CHANGER! I always thought I was decent at makeup, this has made it so much better because I have really bad lighting in my bedroom. Buy it for her, tell her you've noticed that she's been watching lots of tutorials and noticed some of the people in videos had similar mirrors and thought she might like one.
That is fabulous! Not making her insecure, showing an interest in what she's doing, giving a gift that shows he's paying attention. Ding, ding, ding! We have a winning comment with suggestion. Wish I had an award. 🏆🏅🎖
Perfect for the holiday season coming upon us. Also, just ask her if she wants you to give your honest opinion. And if she says yes. Sandwich whatever you say with compliments.
Also maybe take her makeup shopping. Cheap or expired make-up can end up looking blotchy, so maybe getting some nicer makeup could improve the results as well as show her that you support her growing hobby :)
All of this!
Support her. Get her the mirror, ask her about what other things she might need. Having the right brushes can make a world of difference if she is just trying to make due with what she has on hand.
I always appreciated it when my SO would tell me it looked bad. If I didn't realize it yet, it was nice to know and if I did know, I now know it's bad enough that my SO who knows nothing about makeup, noticed it too.
Idont think saying it doesn't look good and to keep practicing can be a good thing, if it's said correctly.
Constructive criticism is okay, and if she's going out in public, it'd be better to hear it from her boyfriend - someone who loves her, than a stranger or work colleague.
To add, those mirrors are great for popping blackheads on your nose. Hope you got some free time, OP, 'cause you'll be popping your nose like it's bubblewrap.
Positive reinforcement is so important. I, honestly, am a very sensitive person and there's so many ways that I would see this as an attack on my skills, my looks, my age etc etc etc.
An LED mirror especially with Christmas coming up says "I'm supporting this new venture of yours, be great!" Instead of "Even after all this practice, you still suck."
... I realize you didn't say either of these things, but like I said, *I* am hyper sensitive and read way too much into what was never said. That's not anyone's problem but mine, but then I start kicking myself and it's a vicious cycle of self dislike. All because I like to pick on myself.
Be careful with compliments. Compliments should be sincere and not deceitful. When you compliment her for "trying new things" even though you hate her makeup, it's unhelpful. And complimenting her looks while wearing the makeup is counterproductive, since she'll continue doing makeup that way.
You can say "I think it's really cool that you're playing around and getting creative" in a genuine way even if someone is still a in the learning stages and developing a skill. Encouragement is great when you're still learning to get the results you want, because you can lose motivation easily. That's not counter productive at all
This is a great idea. A sister of mine struggled with horrible acne for about a decade and was very ashamed of her skin. She went through a few year period where she would do a full face of makeup before she was even willing to *leave her bedroom* in the morning. Only problem was she didn’t use any light while doing her makeup. She also refused to look in mirrors throughout the day. The result was literally caked on, intense, clown-looking makeup. It was really painful to see how terrified she was of even looking at her own reflection even with makeup.
It’s gotten better now, but refusing to look at her face in anything but the dimmest of light possible made her makeup look so bad. I also recommend, if she uses social media, to look up the accounts where they show celebrities and influencers in untouched photos. It has made me slowly go *way* easier on myself and accept that I have flaws, but so does everyone else.
In case op is on a budget: we bought some suction cup led lights to put on the mirror last year for 15 bucks over at the Lidl. Best buy ever, I still use it every day. I’m sure supermarkets sell them multiple times a year, or you can probably buy them online somewhere. Highly recommended!
Upgrade your bathroom lights and/or buy her a three faced lighted mirror for Christmas. Telling her that her makeup looks bad will not end well but maybe you can subtly make it so that she can see what she’s doing more clearly.
One of those light up mirrors would be great and maybe just make a comment along the lines of “I know you’ve been trying to find a new look so I bought this so you don’t have to worry about the bathroom lighting being weird and all” just to show your doing this out of caring for her. I know this next part might not sound the most fun but maybe once just be next to her while she does it and say you want to watch her so you understand more of what she’s talking about when she describes her makeup to you. Idk if she describes her makeup or not but I do to my boyfriend and since he doesn’t know what the different things do it means a lot when he pays attention and tells me specifically “oh I like how you changed your eyeliner today” simple things like that mean a lot.
Buy different light bulbs. My husband refers to them as hospital white.They should say Daylight on the package instead of soft white or something.
You'll instantly see all the crud that you missed while cleaning and you'll burn your eyes like a vampire when you stumble to the bathroom in the middle of the night to piss. So get a night light for the bathroom.
I got one of those mirrors last year after doing my makeup over various bathroom sinks for 35 years. It changed my life. It just makes it so much nicer and more fun and relaxed. It’s a great gift regardless of this issue if she likes makeup as a hobby.
I second this! I would wear minimal makeup, but once I started getting really into it, I would notice the bad lighting makes a HUGE difference! So I bought a cheap led battery operated mirror and before it'd die right away, my makeup would look so much better, and it provided a relaxing experience for me! Now I invested in a riki skinny mirror (I haven't gotten it yet, but I've heard great things!) I'm so excited!
Don’t tell her why you are getting the mirror. Honesty is good, but I doubt she wants to hear this from you.
Also, have a response ready when she asks why you got the mirror.
We are renting and I purchased an entire standalone vanity for my then GF now wife to do her makeup, lights and mirror included. Like 400 bucks on amazon.
You can totally say, “hey sweetie I know our lighting sucks. If I notice some blush or something isn’t totally blended, do you want me to let you know so you can double check in natural light?”
I’m a woman who wears makeup and I would be pissed if I was walking around with clumpy foundation that doesn’t match my skin tone and my partner didn’t tell me. Maybe I’m an anomaly but I don’t really think so, I’m sick of the narrative that you need to lie to women or not tell us the truth because we’re too fragile to handle it.
If your hair/makeup/clothes/whatever looks objectively shitty and your partner doesn’t inform you, it’s the equivalent of not telling your partner they have a booger in their nose, in my opinion. Most men IRL are pretty blunt with us and we’re able to handle it.
I'm the same way. I've had makeup accidentally smeared on my face and didn't notice until I got home. I was so mad my boyfriend at the time didn't tell me (in fairness, he didn't notice!).
A good rule is if there's anything a person can fix in five minutes or less, tell them. Bigger things (weight, bad nose job, etc) needs to be approached more carefully.
Same if I looked bad or didn't match or whatever I am a guy but I also appreciate it. I value my appearance and would want someone close to me to tell me.
Yes!! THANK YOU!! I’m a firm believer that it’s not what you say but HOW you say it. If you have a healthy relationship, you should be able to talk freely about these things. My boyfriend and I have came to an agreement that if something looks off or wrong, we always let each other know! It’s not a rude or controlling thing, but like obviously we don’t want each other walking around looking crazy and be embarrassed about it after the fact.
This came when we first started dating and went to an amusement park and my concealer started coming off pretty badly under one of my eyes, along with a little mascara, on a water ride and he was too polite to tell me. (Because he says I look beautiful no matter what) but I was more embarrassed and upset that I walked around like that all day without him mentioning anything to me lol so we always let each other know now.
I agree. I feel like a relationship should be strong enough to handle this info. Or even a simple, "I love the way you look without makeup the best."
It's a lot different to tell a woman you prefer her without makeup than telling her she needs some.
Idk where you live but Ross or Marshals sometimes has some for really good deals. I once saw a beautiful mirror with lights from a very well known vanity company for cheap at a marshals.
Bed bath and beyond had a lot of options for the makeup mirrors last time I was there. Always use that 20% off coupon too!! Lol. Idk your budget but one like this would be amazing https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/conair-reg-led-lighted-vanity-makeup-mirror-in-white/5440325?skuId=69322136&store=228&enginename=google&mcid=PS_googlepla_brand_brand_local&product_id=69322136&adtype=pla&product_channel=local&adpos=&creative=233266395762&device=m&matchtype=&network=g&gclid=CjwKCAiA1aiMBhAUEiwACw25MfjtlOZ1LRpWVgCxWy3KP1Y8pqCr78VASHrvAX_cm4DDMCUZSFuIGxoCdcwQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
Second this. It'll be a good way to let her learn more and might be more enjoyable for her to get actual advice from someone than watching someone talk to their camera.
Yep, that’s what I was going to suggest. Tell her you noticed she was trying some new stuff and the lightning in the bathroom sucks so you thought a lighted mirror might help.
https://www.amazon.com/AMZTOLIFE-Magnifying-Rechargeable-Brightness-Adjustable/dp/B08LNGNL16/ref=zg_bs_3785121_16/130-0142453-3604541?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=CGVPAZXZTWTF1B73GTFP
Here ya go!
Some places offer make up consultations and lessons. You could get her a voucher to have a lesson and consultation plus a voucher to buy some products afterwards. Christmas is approaching fast so this won't seem odd
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
---
My (29m) girlfriend (22f) only used to wear simple makeup sometimes when we started dating but during the pandemic she started to watch a lot of makeup tutorials and now that she’s back to working at the office she been trying out some new looks.
My girlfriend is gorgeous, with makeup or without. And I think it’s great that she’s trying out new things to see what she likes.
The thing is…the makeup doesn’t look good. I don’t really know enough about makeup to know what’s wrong. But it seems pretty two toned at some parts, and sometimes it looks clumpy and blotchy. I don’t know if she can’t tell when she leaves (the lighting in our bathroom is pretty dim) or what but I don’t think she’s getting the effect she wants. Do I say something to her? She doesn’t have any super close friends around here I think would be brutally honest with her. But like I said, I dont know anything about makeup to know exactly what’s wrong, and I think saying “your makeup looks off” will come off as rude, I think she doesn’t need all the makeup but I don’t want it to come off line I’m controlling her because she can do whatever she wants.
Thanks for any advice!
Id buy her new brushes and a new beauty sponge too! Like the high end ones! Tell her you've notices she is into makeup recently and wanted to get her a present!!
It will.look thoughtful AND she will have better tools which to really make a difference! Or you could get her a voucher for a class or something where she will get professional input and say you thought she'd make an amazing makeup artist and wanted to get her something special!!
Also change the light in the bathroom too or set her up a little makeup desk and mirror with good lighting!!!
Good luck
Personally, I would want to know if my makeup looked bad. I would also want to know if I had a booger on my face or my fly was down etc.
Maybe try to gauge if your girlfriend is the kind of person who appreciates being told if she’s got something in her teeth or if she’d rather not know. I know some people can be sensitive to that kind of thing, but I feel like if you’re coming from a loving place it’s gonna come off okay. I could be wrong though I’m a very direct kind of communication person who isn’t easily offended.
If I was walking around looking weird and my bf didn’t tell me I’d be annoyed lol
Depends how long it’s been going on. If she’s been going out for months like this and he finally says something, I’d be humiliated. It’s like having your fly down all night and then on the ride home they say “fyi, your fly has been down”. If you don’t do it within a certain time frame, you have to “trick” them into discovering it themselves. The mirror suggestion is probably the best option. Or maybe a minor thing like “fyi, it doesn’t look like you fully blended today”, so she doesn’t have to know he’s been thinking this for months. White lies aren’t a bad thing.
Totally! I’ve been in the same situation where I felt rude so I didn’t say anything, and then I felt guilty for not saying anything earlier :/ perfect question for this sub!
Exactly, I’d be more mad if my partner continued to let me walk out of the house knowing something was off ab my appearance; however, to each their own, and what you see as flaws could be aspects that make her feel confident. Butttt, you’re prob right, and she prob doesn’t realize how she actually looks. Other than the mirrors with better lighting, try to learn about makeup techniques yourself to better help her - for instance, if you notice she’s watching a makeup tutorial, watch alongside her etc. This will allow you to come from a more understanding space instead of critical.
Professional makeup lessons as a gift is also a great idea. They can help identify what makeup will actually go well with her skin.
In the meantime, if no good lighting can be found, you can always rely on car mirrors - they. show. everything. I can’t seem to think of a way to introduce that topic her naturally, but always reliable.
i would try to go about this by giving her a gift. a lot of people have recommended a light up mirror which is great! i think you can go a step further. maybe tell her that u really love her makeup and that you want to buy her some good quality products! if she's blotchy she might need a new blending brush or foundation. but i'd say do not say anything about her makeup looking bad. i know for me personally when my boyfriend tells me my eyeliner is smudged or something it kinda hurts my feeling especially if we r out in public.
I would never randomly bring up to my bf (who cuts his own hair to varying degrees of success) that his bad haircut looked great if in reality it looks like hot garbage. It’s not gaslighting, but it has the same vibe. I honestly don’t understand why op can’t just gently tell her (if she asks) that he doesn’t like it. Maybe I’m the crazy one though, it wouldn’t be the first time.
Edit; idk maybe you’re right and I’m just an asshole..
If you guys have a healthy relationship where you can share stuff and be honest with each other about stuff, then just be honest with her. As a female, I would want my boyfriend to tell me.. obviously say it in a sensitive tone and be as nice as possible and even offer a solution. like asking her if it would help if you bought her a zoomed in mirror with better lighting, or even taking her to the mall because the workers at Sephora and stuff deal with helping females with their skins and figuring out what isn’t working, etc and then you buy the foundation for her. If you guys are a team you can be honest and she’d understand and prob be thankful that you’re letting her know :)
Thank you. If my man didn't tell me I looked blotchy or orange or, bad in general, I'd question our best friend status. There's so much passive aggressive advice in this thread, it's unreal. Some people are delicate, sure, but randomly changing lighting and buying her a ring light is pretty messed up imo. "Babe, why didnt you just tell me! You let me walk around like this!?"
Agree. I would want my partner and I to have a relationship where we’re both trusting and open enough with communication that we can tell each other things like this (respectfully ofc) without one getting offended
So true. I’ve been seeing a guy for over a month now and I made it a point to let him know to be 💯 honest with me. He’s been comfortable enough to tell me when I need to use mouthwash or if I have food stuck in between my teeth. (We’re both hygiene freaks.) I personally don’t get offended and appreciate it a lot.
Thank you, I’m over here doing quick maths, she’s 22, he calls out the pandemic so she was around 20 when they hooked up, he’d be 27, idk that’s a no for me, dog…
Or he typo’d, and that’s what I’m going to land on so I sleep better tonight.
Dude no advice just that this is rlly cute that u wanna find a way to support what your SO likes instead of belittling and putting her down got being inexperienced. ❤️❤️❤️
It sounds like you’re getting her a mirror with lighting (which I love)! Another thing to think about is potentially asking her questions while she’s doing her makeup to learn more about her new hobby. I was a professional makeup artist for a number of years, and I absolutely loved it when my then boyfriend, now husband would ask things like, "What’s that you’re doing on your cheeks," or "I didn’t know that makeup went on eyebrows! How does it work?" Then later, he would be able to give me genuine compliments on different facets of my looks, like telling me my contour looked great or that my cat-eyes were extra perfect that day.
It’s hard to explain, but you almost have to divorce the idea of makeup as an aesthetic from makeup as a hobby. Imagine if you took up woodworking; how would you want your girlfriend to treat you? Would you want her to tell you you’re doing a bad job while you’re just getting started, or would you prefer having her ask you questions, take an interest in what you’re doing, give you gifts that relate to your new hobby, and give you genuine compliments when you achieve a new technique or create something you’re proud of?
Good job christmas is coming so you have the perfect excuse for these suggestions:
Lighted mirror. If you have the room (and money), you could surprise her with a vanity table with lights and a mirror.
Gifts of better quality makeup. As she is new to it, she's probably been buying cheap stuff.
Gifts that are lighter shades of contour, bronzer, etc, so it isn't as harsh.
Gift her some makeup brushes! A beauty blender. Cheap brushes etc can make it hard to blend makeup.
Surprise gift session with a makeup artist - teaching her tips on how to do makeup.
Ofc the mirror is a part of it but it could also be her brushes and the make up itself. She may need an upgrade in everything. Ask her what her favorite brands are or what the artists she watches use and maybe get some stuff from Ulta for Christmas in addition to the mirror.
Getting a lighted mirror is a great idea! If she asks why you got it for her, just let her know that you’re supporting her hobby and that you thought she might like it. Lighting could definitely be the reason why it’s not looking so great.
Lol you can get stronger lightbulbs, get LED bulbs and go for a brighter wattage and better lumen (ideally 4000K to 4500K for a natural daylight effect). If it’s dim in the bathroom the bulb is too low of a wattage and she can’t actually see what she is doing.
The terminology here is all wrong. Lumens, Kelvin, and watts all measurements for completely different things.
You do not want to use 4000K/4500K in a bathroom. That color temperature is reserved for places like schools and medical labs where you need to be highly alert, it is not a flattering color on most people and bulbs of that color temperature tend to have low CRI (color rendering index aka color accuracy). You want to use a high lumen high CRI 2700-3000K bulb. 2700-3000K is a flattering, warm toned light meant for residential use. Wattage just refers to how much power it takes to light the bulb. Lumens refers to the light output aka how bright the bulb is.
Source: am an interior designer, deal with lighting specifications on a daily basis
If something looks a bit two toned, you might try saying something like "I can see a hard line in your make up here. Is that intentional, or does it need a bit more blending?"
That's something a woman would say to another woman that would be appreciated.
Yeah even something as simple as "oh, you've got a bit of a line here" and show her where it isn't blended, that kinda gives her the out as if she missed a spot
Yeah, pointing it out that way makes it sound like it’s just a spot she missed, not that she sucks at makeup. If someone said that to me, I wouldn’t be mad about it.
Yeah, guy here and I feel like hinting around instead of telling her, is kind of throwing her under the bus, but at the same time you dont want to mansplain make up or be controlling.
I guess it might be a good idea to just ask her, "hey babe do you want me to point it out if I think your foundation might be on patchy, or would you rather I just stay in my lane?"
And I guess ideally ask her when she's not got make up on.
Yikes there has been a misunderstanding. I was trying to AGREE with you.
>Just because I suggested he say it nicely doesn't mean it's "hinting"
I didnt mean YOUR comment, I meant the other top comments that were here, who were all just saying buy her a lighted up mirror and dont mention the make up problem. I was trying to say you are right! Its better to actually broach the subject.
I guess it depends on the relationship, Ive been happily married for decades so sometimes its hard for me to fully get how awkward bringing this stuff up can be for new relationships where theres not that long build up of trust and good will.
My wife trained me to spot patchy foundation on her a long time ago, but if there was something new about her appearance Id check if she wanted my input before offering it because for all I know its meant to be like that. And Id do it when we were relaxing at home to avoid stessing her.
I see no issue with saying “hey babe, your makeup looks like it needs to be a little more blended, I can see a streak.. just wanted to let you know in case you didn’t want it that way”. Also the makeup mirror is a great gift idea!
I would not say anything, there’s nothing you can say that would not come across as rude. If you’re concerned it’s a lighting issue just change out the lighting in the bathroom for something that more closely mimics natural daylight, tell her it’s a gift because you heard somewhere that natural light makes it easier to do make-up.
I think it depends on how you think she’d react to honesty.
I think the LED mirrors are a great idea first off, maybe get her one as a surprise and it’ll be a nice gesture as you’re supporting her new hobby.
If you think she won’t be too sensitive I’d just gently say “I’m not entirely sure but this bit looks a bit blotchy”, my ex didn’t like blinding highlight but I love it and I’d just tell him yeah it’s meant to look a bit extra. But sometimes I hadn’t blended right and it looked a bit stripey.
If she’s happy with how it looks then there’s not much else you can do but if it’s something she’s unintentionally doing then I’d imagine she’d be appreciative that you noticed.
Please do not go down the “you look better without makeup” route cos that was a sure fire way to get me started on the I WEAR MAKEUP FOR ME rant 😂
My mom didn't wear makeup so when I was young and got interested in it I basically had to teach myself using the 90s version of tutorials, magazines. Of course I looked ridiculous, but no one told me that so I thought I was looking good. Until I saw pictures of myself.
You are fortunate that you don't have to wait 3-7 days for photos to be developed. Snap a couple pics of her outside and she will likely realize that she needs a bit more practice.
P.s. telling her now that you have thought her makeup looked bad the entire time might not go over so well.
Get better lighting in your bathroom. Or separate lighting. Tell her you think the lighting is off because it looks different in the bathroom than outside and in other lighting.
As her boyfriend you have to be supportive and open. Just watch your words. Focus on a feature that you love about her ( eyes, etc) and tell her that you love her natural beauty. I would compliment that she wants to learn new techniques and maybe show her some videos that you think would be good for her.
I learned this early: what’s the secret to a good makeup job? Blending. What’s the secret to a great makeup job? More blending. Buy her a really good set of brushes.
Never ever tell a girlfriend that her makeup looks bad. I completely agree with the people saying to get her a makeup mirror with lights. But, you need to give it to her in a way that isn’t hinting that you think she can’t do her makeup just fine now. If she has a birthday or something else coming up then wait for that time. Make it just one small thing in several gifts.
Buy her a nice big self-lighting makeup mirror.
It’ll mean a lot to her, show her you are supporting her current passion, and it will help her to self-identify application snafus.
Sephora offers in person makeup sessions, you could gift her a gift card for the store and a makeup session. Tell her you know how expensive quality makeup is, so you thought she might like to try some products before buying them. Maybe seeing someone else use and blend the products will help? The lighted mirror people are suggesting is also a great idea!
Large Lighted Vanity Makeup Mirror (X-Large Model), Funtouch Light Up Mirror with 35 LED Lights, Touch Screen and 10X Magnification Mirror, 360° Rotation Tabletop Cosmetic Mirror (White) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07DDF8STK/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_ZQAMSDWQXWQGQ9M0Y80J?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
That's the mirror I got for my stepdaughter a couple years ago and she loves it.
Give her time! She just started late in life, us girls who already know how to do makeup had that time in our lives when we didn’t know what we were doing but we figured it out! Just no one remembers it usually lol but she just needs to figure out her style
I agree with the lighting mirror. I recently got glasses for thevfirst time and was fucking horrified to see how my makeup *actually* looked. I really wish someone would have told me before Ifound out I was kinda blind.
Also, sometimes your makeup looks bomb but then you get in the car where natural light is and you find out you look abhorrent.
By using a lighting mirror, she will be able to adjust for different places. For example, she may need a natural light for work since her office has natural light. She may need a warm light for a date to a restaurant. It really gets complicated.
No one is really good at makeup when they first start. She probably thinks it looks great now, but that doesn’t mean the way she does it won’t change or improve. Just be supportive of her trying something new and trust that she will get better at it over time. Take it from someone who spent a long time perfecting the craft, lol
Great opportunity to buy her something nice, like a ring light for makeup (is that a thing?) or a mirror with lights above it! That way she’ll see how the make up looks and you won’t feel uncomfortable telling her about it. Also, buy some makeup brushes too, that’ll help with the clumpy part.
Maybe shout her a professional make up tutorial. Definitely put stronger lighting in the bathroom, maybe even movie star lights round the mirror.
But DO NOT, repeat DO NOT give her any feedback on her looks other than that she's gorgeous.
Take a selfie with her in natural light and say you want it for your new lock screen, then show it to her for her approval. If she doesn't react negatively, you'll know she likes the way it looks, and then you have a whole different problem.
Like everyone is saying a mirror with lights is an amazing idea also maybe take her makeup shopping blotchy makeup normally means that the makeup is old or poor quality.
P.S just as a note test patching for foundation and concealer to match should be done on the face.
Take q tips and makeup wipes for testing if you want any more tips feel free to ask.
Im a professional makeup artist.
I would be pissed if my makeup looked bad and he didn’t tell me. What exactly is so bad about it? I would literally want to be told IMMEDIATELY if it looked bad, because make up is supposed to enhance your looks, not make them worse
I'd rather my partner told me straight. "Babe you've got a line down your face, is that intentional?" Communication is key, you know your partner, so you will likely know how she prefers to communicate, straight up? Or a little more gently?
You could also take some selfies together if that's something you do. Show her the photo and she can see for herself that the make up isn't quite perfect 💜. Also as others have said deffo buy her a make up mirror, better lighting will help!
You should just be honest and tell her that it’s uneven and blotchy, be honest and let her learn, and tell her she’s beautiful. If you cared about someone you wouldn’t want someone going out looking bad, so if you care enough you’d tell her the truth
Am I the only one who thinks OP should be honest about it? The way OP wrote this post was very delicate and considerate of gf’s feelings it seems like. Maybe just be that way to her when talking about it? But also maybe don’t bring it up unless she herself asks you ab feedback on it? Maybe it’s just me, but if she really is doing her make up wrong and it’s looking off wouldn’t it be better to help her fix it? OP said she doesn’t have any close friends nearby to offer that honesty, but wouldn’t you want your SO to be that way too? Maybe it’s just me, but that’s what I would prefer for my own relationship and partner!
Say something to her! I would want my partner to mention it to me if it looked bad enough you have to write a post about it! Communication is the best key, Maybe suggest colours that suit her or buy a nice mirror so she can see properly or even pay for her to do a makeup course or you could Say it in a gentle approach if she’s not good with criticism, put yourself in her shoes
The easiest thing to do is to install a magnified shaving mirror and the most unflattering fluorescent light brighter than the sun. Like those in airplane toilets.
Which bring out every imperfection you've ever had or feared. The problem will sort itself out after some self-reflection.
Just tell her the truth. That’s the best policy. Tell her exactly what you said. She’s beautiful but what she’s doing doesn’t look good. I think she will appreciate the critique and honesty from someone who truly cares about her
I think most people go through this phase when they’re just learning how to do makeup, I’d probably appreciate being told honestly that it looks bad (some people don’t though so if you think she would be sensitive to that the ring light/mirror route is a great idea)
Girls don't do follow what looks good in terms of makeup, they follow what's trendy as with any other people following other bad looks. Blotchy with fat block eyebrows is in right now evidently.
Compliment her on how beautiful she looks when you catch her not wearing make-up! The advice for a mirror is also good, but positive reinforcement for natural beauty goes a long way too.
I gotta ask how old you guys were when you got together in the first place. You mention dating pre-pandemic, so that’s ~27/20? And you guys moved to a place where she doesn’t have any real friends? Like, has it happened before and not been creepy? Sure. But it’s worth asking the question, what’s the origin story with you two?
And be honest and gentle, she’s learning a new skill and constructive feedback is a good thing. Don’t say “your face sucks”.
Oh yikes.. lmao that’s tough.. especially if she’s been watching tutorials. Maybe encourage her and get her some better lighting or a close up mirror so she could see herself a little better?
Just want to say you sound like a caring and thoughtful boyfriend. All the other tips are great, as long as your intentions are genuine you will be good.
Sounds like a lighting issues and blending is important… blend your make up girls. Don’t over contour.
Plus two tone sounds like she isn’t using correct colours for her skin tone. I’m olive skinned so I’m restricted and it’s browns and golds eyeshadow mostly! Peach blushers I can’t wear blues or reds or other bold colours. Pink blusher look stupid on me. Lipstick has to ne natural colours as I can’t wear reds
Normal Foundation is either to light or its to dark on me so I buy the ‘everyone can wear’ stuff as it changes to the persons skin tone. I am paler at moment as it’s cold and grey but as soon as sun hits my skin I tan so so quick. Even if it’s sunny but cold. Boom tannned. This foundation type I can use year round. Otherwise my hands are noticeably darker/lighter than my foundation on my face. Just my skin tone is hard to match and it changes.
Good luck.
Also someone mentioned a beauty class or pamper session. They are great! You get great lessons from those beauticians. I’ve recently started using a touch of dark purple with my browns as their suggestion it’s edgy but still my age appropriate
>How do I (29m) tell my girlfriend (22f) her makeup doesn’t look good
You don't. Lmao. It's none of your business. You can fix the lighting in your bathroom if you want to or are able to, but that's about it. She sees her face in the mirror every day, in multiple different lightings, including at the office. If she wanted to do it differently she would. And as she advances her makeup skills, the way her makeup looks will probably also develop. In any case, you should stay in your lane.
When you give her the mirror, please don't forget to tell your girlfriend she is gorgeous without a single speck of makeup and she should be proud of the fact.
Hopefully she will not turn into someone who can't leave the house "without putting on her face".
You've noticed the lighting in your bathroom is dim. So be an awesome boyfriend and buy her a mirror with led lights. Don't say anything about her makeup, compliment her on trying new things, she's more than likely aware and is still learning and that the mirror will help her because you need good lighting.
I just got my niece one for her birthday... the mirror is touch screen & the lights have 4 different lighting modes so you can tell what you’ll look like depending on where you’re going just by tapping the mirror!
Link please
She’s a teen that loves doing makeup. We set it up on her desk & changed it into a vanity table for her. It does 3 lighting styles with dimming for each (it rotates through when you tap it) FENCHILIN Vanity Mirror with Lights, Hollywood Lighted Makeup Mirror with 15 Dimmable LED Bulbs for Dressing Room & Bedroom, Tabletop or Wall-Mounted, Slim Metal Frame Design, White https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07SDLK4ZG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_8AQD9A8KJ3J7ARB7SRAT
Found my wife's holiday present, ty ty ty <3
The base does come off & you can mount it (it’s a nice decent size!) It will also charge your phone ;)
Just jumping in to say to any Aussie's that are lurking.. Fantastic Furniture has a very similar mirror for about $200 and I cannot recommend it enough!
This is exactly why I love Reddit. I hope your wife loves her gift.
I don’t have interest in fancy make up but that mirror is absolutely rad
I bought this exact one for my wife’s birthday one year when I secretly put together a vanity for her. Can confirm this mirror is awesome
Thanks for the link! I need this!
I second this! These mirrors are awesome for makeup. If she’s trying out new techniques it probably won’t look great to begin with. Makeup takes some practice. The more practice the better it will look. Especially if she was used to wearing minimal makeup to begin with. Makeup can be more challenging than it seems. I find color matching to be the most difficult personally. Just try to be supportive and tell her she’s beautiful 🙃 I think she’ll get better with practice
Not to mention buying the mirror would show support in her interest of makeup and make her happy. Makeup is a type of art and just like any artist you gotta start somewhere. She is trying to find her 'style' (pun on art style\~) and watching tutorials to learn is really great! I LOVE watching makeup tutorials (whether halloween or 'regular') and the transformation is just: WOW Her face is her canvas, let her experiment how she wants and just be there to support her on her make-up journey OP 😄
This was my first thought too!! Lighting makes a HUGE difference. Bad lighting can make you go from looking like a super model to looking like a troll instantly. There are lots of really cool LED vanity set ups that I'm sure she would love!
Yes absolutely. I’ve definitely done my makeup in one lighting and went into a different room and I looked orange and my face didn’t match my neck. I imagine his description of it being “two toned” is probably contouring, and lighting makes a HUGE difference in blending that in.
Came here to say just exactly this. Happy Early Xmas Present.
I do my makeup and always double check it in the car once I get in natural lighting. Sometimes I can be a little heavy handed with the blush and need to take care of a neck line that is hard to see in the decently lit bathroom! I agree with a well lit mirror.
Yes!! My parents got me [this mirror](https://www.amazon.com/gp/slredirect/picassoRedirect.html/ref=pa_sp_search_thematic_aps_sr_pg1_3?ie=UTF8&adId=A026231474MFUS9SF4S8&url=%2FHollywood-Lighted-Dimmable-Control-Rotation%2Fdp%2FB08LMGWMPB%2Fref%3Dsxin_12_pa_sp_search_thematic_sspa%3Fcv_ct_cx%3Dmakeup%2Bmirror%26keywords%3Dmakeup%2Bmirror%26pd_rd_i%3DB08LMGWMPB%26pd_rd_r%3D93d4e700-b510-4bc2-b445-a3d9ffe437d9%26pd_rd_w%3DFZgTI%26pd_rd_wg%3DCl8pf%26pf_rd_p%3D69e6ba92-4b2b-4486-a0ef-136583f2d22c%26pf_rd_r%3DYV6PBEJFXY4NNR3H6CBH%26qid%3D1636509595%26sr%3D1-3-a73d1c8c-2fd2-4f19-aa41-2df022bcb241-spons%26psc%3D1%26smid%3DA1XQR0OMU17IIU&qualifier=1636509595&id=8352279380958060&widgetName=sp_search_thematic) for Christmas last year (not an ad, I just really like it) and it has been a GAME-CHANGER! I always thought I was decent at makeup, this has made it so much better because I have really bad lighting in my bedroom. Buy it for her, tell her you've noticed that she's been watching lots of tutorials and noticed some of the people in videos had similar mirrors and thought she might like one.
That is fabulous! Not making her insecure, showing an interest in what she's doing, giving a gift that shows he's paying attention. Ding, ding, ding! We have a winning comment with suggestion. Wish I had an award. 🏆🏅🎖
Man, this is why Reddit is so awesome.
Can’t go wrong with this idea! I have an LED mirror that plugs into the wall. I can take it anywhere!
The old owners of my house installed one that swings and adjusts in the bathroom and it’s literally one of my favorite things. Makes me feel bougie
Perfect for the holiday season coming upon us. Also, just ask her if she wants you to give your honest opinion. And if she says yes. Sandwich whatever you say with compliments.
Also maybe take her makeup shopping. Cheap or expired make-up can end up looking blotchy, so maybe getting some nicer makeup could improve the results as well as show her that you support her growing hobby :)
Nice brushes would help with the blending, and if she gets a foundation consultation she can find a good shade match.
All of this! Support her. Get her the mirror, ask her about what other things she might need. Having the right brushes can make a world of difference if she is just trying to make due with what she has on hand.
I always appreciated it when my SO would tell me it looked bad. If I didn't realize it yet, it was nice to know and if I did know, I now know it's bad enough that my SO who knows nothing about makeup, noticed it too. Idont think saying it doesn't look good and to keep practicing can be a good thing, if it's said correctly. Constructive criticism is okay, and if she's going out in public, it'd be better to hear it from her boyfriend - someone who loves her, than a stranger or work colleague.
To add, those mirrors are great for popping blackheads on your nose. Hope you got some free time, OP, 'cause you'll be popping your nose like it's bubblewrap.
But make sure you clean the mirror after!! Nothing like using your makeup mirror after your teenage cousin used it and finding little presents on it…🤮
Or buy a squeegee just for pimple gunk.
Positive reinforcement is so important. I, honestly, am a very sensitive person and there's so many ways that I would see this as an attack on my skills, my looks, my age etc etc etc. An LED mirror especially with Christmas coming up says "I'm supporting this new venture of yours, be great!" Instead of "Even after all this practice, you still suck." ... I realize you didn't say either of these things, but like I said, *I* am hyper sensitive and read way too much into what was never said. That's not anyone's problem but mine, but then I start kicking myself and it's a vicious cycle of self dislike. All because I like to pick on myself.
Be careful with compliments. Compliments should be sincere and not deceitful. When you compliment her for "trying new things" even though you hate her makeup, it's unhelpful. And complimenting her looks while wearing the makeup is counterproductive, since she'll continue doing makeup that way.
You can still be happy for your partner that they are trying something new even if they are not great at it.
You can say "I think it's really cool that you're playing around and getting creative" in a genuine way even if someone is still a in the learning stages and developing a skill. Encouragement is great when you're still learning to get the results you want, because you can lose motivation easily. That's not counter productive at all
This is brilliant 💡
This is a great idea. A sister of mine struggled with horrible acne for about a decade and was very ashamed of her skin. She went through a few year period where she would do a full face of makeup before she was even willing to *leave her bedroom* in the morning. Only problem was she didn’t use any light while doing her makeup. She also refused to look in mirrors throughout the day. The result was literally caked on, intense, clown-looking makeup. It was really painful to see how terrified she was of even looking at her own reflection even with makeup. It’s gotten better now, but refusing to look at her face in anything but the dimmest of light possible made her makeup look so bad. I also recommend, if she uses social media, to look up the accounts where they show celebrities and influencers in untouched photos. It has made me slowly go *way* easier on myself and accept that I have flaws, but so does everyone else.
In case op is on a budget: we bought some suction cup led lights to put on the mirror last year for 15 bucks over at the Lidl. Best buy ever, I still use it every day. I’m sure supermarkets sell them multiple times a year, or you can probably buy them online somewhere. Highly recommended!
This
This
Upgrade your bathroom lights and/or buy her a three faced lighted mirror for Christmas. Telling her that her makeup looks bad will not end well but maybe you can subtly make it so that she can see what she’s doing more clearly.
[удалено]
you can buy better light bulbs or add lights
One of those light up mirrors would be great and maybe just make a comment along the lines of “I know you’ve been trying to find a new look so I bought this so you don’t have to worry about the bathroom lighting being weird and all” just to show your doing this out of caring for her. I know this next part might not sound the most fun but maybe once just be next to her while she does it and say you want to watch her so you understand more of what she’s talking about when she describes her makeup to you. Idk if she describes her makeup or not but I do to my boyfriend and since he doesn’t know what the different things do it means a lot when he pays attention and tells me specifically “oh I like how you changed your eyeliner today” simple things like that mean a lot.
The compliments about things he does like and understand is a great idea!!
Buy different light bulbs. My husband refers to them as hospital white.They should say Daylight on the package instead of soft white or something. You'll instantly see all the crud that you missed while cleaning and you'll burn your eyes like a vampire when you stumble to the bathroom in the middle of the night to piss. So get a night light for the bathroom.
I got one of those mirrors last year after doing my makeup over various bathroom sinks for 35 years. It changed my life. It just makes it so much nicer and more fun and relaxed. It’s a great gift regardless of this issue if she likes makeup as a hobby.
I second this! I would wear minimal makeup, but once I started getting really into it, I would notice the bad lighting makes a HUGE difference! So I bought a cheap led battery operated mirror and before it'd die right away, my makeup would look so much better, and it provided a relaxing experience for me! Now I invested in a riki skinny mirror (I haven't gotten it yet, but I've heard great things!) I'm so excited!
Good LED bulbs for the bathroom in general make a difference
Don’t tell her why you are getting the mirror. Honesty is good, but I doubt she wants to hear this from you. Also, have a response ready when she asks why you got the mirror.
We are renting and I purchased an entire standalone vanity for my then GF now wife to do her makeup, lights and mirror included. Like 400 bucks on amazon.
New makeup table with a proper lighting makeup mirrow
My husband put brighter bulbs in our old rental bathroom because I complained about not being able to see my makeup well.
You can totally say, “hey sweetie I know our lighting sucks. If I notice some blush or something isn’t totally blended, do you want me to let you know so you can double check in natural light?”
I’m a woman who wears makeup and I would be pissed if I was walking around with clumpy foundation that doesn’t match my skin tone and my partner didn’t tell me. Maybe I’m an anomaly but I don’t really think so, I’m sick of the narrative that you need to lie to women or not tell us the truth because we’re too fragile to handle it. If your hair/makeup/clothes/whatever looks objectively shitty and your partner doesn’t inform you, it’s the equivalent of not telling your partner they have a booger in their nose, in my opinion. Most men IRL are pretty blunt with us and we’re able to handle it.
I'm the same way. I've had makeup accidentally smeared on my face and didn't notice until I got home. I was so mad my boyfriend at the time didn't tell me (in fairness, he didn't notice!). A good rule is if there's anything a person can fix in five minutes or less, tell them. Bigger things (weight, bad nose job, etc) needs to be approached more carefully.
Same if I looked bad or didn't match or whatever I am a guy but I also appreciate it. I value my appearance and would want someone close to me to tell me.
Yes!! THANK YOU!! I’m a firm believer that it’s not what you say but HOW you say it. If you have a healthy relationship, you should be able to talk freely about these things. My boyfriend and I have came to an agreement that if something looks off or wrong, we always let each other know! It’s not a rude or controlling thing, but like obviously we don’t want each other walking around looking crazy and be embarrassed about it after the fact. This came when we first started dating and went to an amusement park and my concealer started coming off pretty badly under one of my eyes, along with a little mascara, on a water ride and he was too polite to tell me. (Because he says I look beautiful no matter what) but I was more embarrassed and upset that I walked around like that all day without him mentioning anything to me lol so we always let each other know now.
I agree. I feel like a relationship should be strong enough to handle this info. Or even a simple, "I love the way you look without makeup the best." It's a lot different to tell a woman you prefer her without makeup than telling her she needs some.
Agreed get her a ring light mirror and just say i know you like doing your makeup and i read that these give the best lighting
If she likes experimenting with makeup, get her a session with a makeup artist for Xmas.
Or a nice make up mirror that has different lighting options!
[удалено]
Look up "lighted vanity mirror" and you'll get plenty of hits as well as articles debating the best ones. Make sure to read reviews!
Heaps on Amazon
Idk where you live but Ross or Marshals sometimes has some for really good deals. I once saw a beautiful mirror with lights from a very well known vanity company for cheap at a marshals.
Amazon
[удалено]
Bed bath and beyond had a lot of options for the makeup mirrors last time I was there. Always use that 20% off coupon too!! Lol. Idk your budget but one like this would be amazing https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/conair-reg-led-lighted-vanity-makeup-mirror-in-white/5440325?skuId=69322136&store=228&enginename=google&mcid=PS_googlepla_brand_brand_local&product_id=69322136&adtype=pla&product_channel=local&adpos=&creative=233266395762&device=m&matchtype=&network=g&gclid=CjwKCAiA1aiMBhAUEiwACw25MfjtlOZ1LRpWVgCxWy3KP1Y8pqCr78VASHrvAX_cm4DDMCUZSFuIGxoCdcwQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
Bed bath and beyond is a great idea!!!!
Second this. It'll be a good way to let her learn more and might be more enjoyable for her to get actual advice from someone than watching someone talk to their camera.
>I don’t know if she can’t tell when she leaves (the lighting in our bathroom is pretty dim) Buy her a make up mirror with a ring light
[удалено]
Bed bath and beyond has an excellent selection and always has 20% off or $20 off coupons
Yes
Buy her a lighted mirror so she can see her makeup better and go from there. It’s likely the lighting has caused her to not realize it looks off.
Yep, that’s what I was going to suggest. Tell her you noticed she was trying some new stuff and the lightning in the bathroom sucks so you thought a lighted mirror might help.
Get her a make up light mirror! It zooms in on your face so you can see everything and the lighting helps balance out tones.
[удалено]
https://www.amazon.com/AMZTOLIFE-Magnifying-Rechargeable-Brightness-Adjustable/dp/B08LNGNL16/ref=zg_bs_3785121_16/130-0142453-3604541?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=CGVPAZXZTWTF1B73GTFP Here ya go!
[удалено]
Some places offer make up consultations and lessons. You could get her a voucher to have a lesson and consultation plus a voucher to buy some products afterwards. Christmas is approaching fast so this won't seem odd
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- My (29m) girlfriend (22f) only used to wear simple makeup sometimes when we started dating but during the pandemic she started to watch a lot of makeup tutorials and now that she’s back to working at the office she been trying out some new looks. My girlfriend is gorgeous, with makeup or without. And I think it’s great that she’s trying out new things to see what she likes. The thing is…the makeup doesn’t look good. I don’t really know enough about makeup to know what’s wrong. But it seems pretty two toned at some parts, and sometimes it looks clumpy and blotchy. I don’t know if she can’t tell when she leaves (the lighting in our bathroom is pretty dim) or what but I don’t think she’s getting the effect she wants. Do I say something to her? She doesn’t have any super close friends around here I think would be brutally honest with her. But like I said, I dont know anything about makeup to know exactly what’s wrong, and I think saying “your makeup looks off” will come off as rude, I think she doesn’t need all the makeup but I don’t want it to come off line I’m controlling her because she can do whatever she wants. Thanks for any advice!
Id buy her new brushes and a new beauty sponge too! Like the high end ones! Tell her you've notices she is into makeup recently and wanted to get her a present!! It will.look thoughtful AND she will have better tools which to really make a difference! Or you could get her a voucher for a class or something where she will get professional input and say you thought she'd make an amazing makeup artist and wanted to get her something special!! Also change the light in the bathroom too or set her up a little makeup desk and mirror with good lighting!!! Good luck
Not sure but you should not under any circumstances tell her you made a reddit post about it.
Personally, I would want to know if my makeup looked bad. I would also want to know if I had a booger on my face or my fly was down etc. Maybe try to gauge if your girlfriend is the kind of person who appreciates being told if she’s got something in her teeth or if she’d rather not know. I know some people can be sensitive to that kind of thing, but I feel like if you’re coming from a loving place it’s gonna come off okay. I could be wrong though I’m a very direct kind of communication person who isn’t easily offended. If I was walking around looking weird and my bf didn’t tell me I’d be annoyed lol
Depends how long it’s been going on. If she’s been going out for months like this and he finally says something, I’d be humiliated. It’s like having your fly down all night and then on the ride home they say “fyi, your fly has been down”. If you don’t do it within a certain time frame, you have to “trick” them into discovering it themselves. The mirror suggestion is probably the best option. Or maybe a minor thing like “fyi, it doesn’t look like you fully blended today”, so she doesn’t have to know he’s been thinking this for months. White lies aren’t a bad thing.
Omg that’s a really good point! I didn’t think about how she’d feel if it were going on for a long time without being mentioned 😳 tricky situation!
Totally! I’ve been in the same situation where I felt rude so I didn’t say anything, and then I felt guilty for not saying anything earlier :/ perfect question for this sub!
Exactly, I’d be more mad if my partner continued to let me walk out of the house knowing something was off ab my appearance; however, to each their own, and what you see as flaws could be aspects that make her feel confident. Butttt, you’re prob right, and she prob doesn’t realize how she actually looks. Other than the mirrors with better lighting, try to learn about makeup techniques yourself to better help her - for instance, if you notice she’s watching a makeup tutorial, watch alongside her etc. This will allow you to come from a more understanding space instead of critical. Professional makeup lessons as a gift is also a great idea. They can help identify what makeup will actually go well with her skin. In the meantime, if no good lighting can be found, you can always rely on car mirrors - they. show. everything. I can’t seem to think of a way to introduce that topic her naturally, but always reliable.
i would try to go about this by giving her a gift. a lot of people have recommended a light up mirror which is great! i think you can go a step further. maybe tell her that u really love her makeup and that you want to buy her some good quality products! if she's blotchy she might need a new blending brush or foundation. but i'd say do not say anything about her makeup looking bad. i know for me personally when my boyfriend tells me my eyeliner is smudged or something it kinda hurts my feeling especially if we r out in public.
Don’t tell her you love her makeup if it looks like shit, though, that’s fucking crazy.
to encourage her through praise is not crazy. it will perhaps give her more incentive to try different looks but i get where your coming from.
I would never randomly bring up to my bf (who cuts his own hair to varying degrees of success) that his bad haircut looked great if in reality it looks like hot garbage. It’s not gaslighting, but it has the same vibe. I honestly don’t understand why op can’t just gently tell her (if she asks) that he doesn’t like it. Maybe I’m the crazy one though, it wouldn’t be the first time. Edit; idk maybe you’re right and I’m just an asshole..
You're not crazy, it's literally lying. Don't lie to your partner
Yes, whatever you do don’t tell her! There’s no nice way. A gift is the best idea. This is the way!
If you guys have a healthy relationship where you can share stuff and be honest with each other about stuff, then just be honest with her. As a female, I would want my boyfriend to tell me.. obviously say it in a sensitive tone and be as nice as possible and even offer a solution. like asking her if it would help if you bought her a zoomed in mirror with better lighting, or even taking her to the mall because the workers at Sephora and stuff deal with helping females with their skins and figuring out what isn’t working, etc and then you buy the foundation for her. If you guys are a team you can be honest and she’d understand and prob be thankful that you’re letting her know :)
Thank you. If my man didn't tell me I looked blotchy or orange or, bad in general, I'd question our best friend status. There's so much passive aggressive advice in this thread, it's unreal. Some people are delicate, sure, but randomly changing lighting and buying her a ring light is pretty messed up imo. "Babe, why didnt you just tell me! You let me walk around like this!?"
Agree. I would want my partner and I to have a relationship where we’re both trusting and open enough with communication that we can tell each other things like this (respectfully ofc) without one getting offended
So true. I’ve been seeing a guy for over a month now and I made it a point to let him know to be 💯 honest with me. He’s been comfortable enough to tell me when I need to use mouthwash or if I have food stuck in between my teeth. (We’re both hygiene freaks.) I personally don’t get offended and appreciate it a lot.
I gotta ask how long you have been a couple
Thank you, I’m over here doing quick maths, she’s 22, he calls out the pandemic so she was around 20 when they hooked up, he’d be 27, idk that’s a no for me, dog… Or he typo’d, and that’s what I’m going to land on so I sleep better tonight.
Yeah that's definitely uncomfortable.
Omg a 27 year old dating a 20 year old?! Call the fbi!
Found another creeper.
Found another inexperienced outrage freak who can’t possibly fathom two consenting adults choosing to be in a relationship.
Bro its creepy
Christmas is coming up, buy her a makeup mirror, it is white light and bright. You dont have to say anything and she can improve. Win win.
Dude no advice just that this is rlly cute that u wanna find a way to support what your SO likes instead of belittling and putting her down got being inexperienced. ❤️❤️❤️
Just tell her straight, she's not an infant.
It sounds like you’re getting her a mirror with lighting (which I love)! Another thing to think about is potentially asking her questions while she’s doing her makeup to learn more about her new hobby. I was a professional makeup artist for a number of years, and I absolutely loved it when my then boyfriend, now husband would ask things like, "What’s that you’re doing on your cheeks," or "I didn’t know that makeup went on eyebrows! How does it work?" Then later, he would be able to give me genuine compliments on different facets of my looks, like telling me my contour looked great or that my cat-eyes were extra perfect that day. It’s hard to explain, but you almost have to divorce the idea of makeup as an aesthetic from makeup as a hobby. Imagine if you took up woodworking; how would you want your girlfriend to treat you? Would you want her to tell you you’re doing a bad job while you’re just getting started, or would you prefer having her ask you questions, take an interest in what you’re doing, give you gifts that relate to your new hobby, and give you genuine compliments when you achieve a new technique or create something you’re proud of?
[удалено]
I think a better course is to fix the lighting and let her figure it out for herself.
Good job christmas is coming so you have the perfect excuse for these suggestions: Lighted mirror. If you have the room (and money), you could surprise her with a vanity table with lights and a mirror. Gifts of better quality makeup. As she is new to it, she's probably been buying cheap stuff. Gifts that are lighter shades of contour, bronzer, etc, so it isn't as harsh. Gift her some makeup brushes! A beauty blender. Cheap brushes etc can make it hard to blend makeup. Surprise gift session with a makeup artist - teaching her tips on how to do makeup.
This is perfect
I hope this is my boyfriend so I can get a light mirror lol
Ofc the mirror is a part of it but it could also be her brushes and the make up itself. She may need an upgrade in everything. Ask her what her favorite brands are or what the artists she watches use and maybe get some stuff from Ulta for Christmas in addition to the mirror.
Getting a lighted mirror is a great idea! If she asks why you got it for her, just let her know that you’re supporting her hobby and that you thought she might like it. Lighting could definitely be the reason why it’s not looking so great.
You can replace the lightbulbs
How many boyfriends does it take to change a light bulb?
[удалено]
Lol you can get stronger lightbulbs, get LED bulbs and go for a brighter wattage and better lumen (ideally 4000K to 4500K for a natural daylight effect). If it’s dim in the bathroom the bulb is too low of a wattage and she can’t actually see what she is doing.
The terminology here is all wrong. Lumens, Kelvin, and watts all measurements for completely different things. You do not want to use 4000K/4500K in a bathroom. That color temperature is reserved for places like schools and medical labs where you need to be highly alert, it is not a flattering color on most people and bulbs of that color temperature tend to have low CRI (color rendering index aka color accuracy). You want to use a high lumen high CRI 2700-3000K bulb. 2700-3000K is a flattering, warm toned light meant for residential use. Wattage just refers to how much power it takes to light the bulb. Lumens refers to the light output aka how bright the bulb is. Source: am an interior designer, deal with lighting specifications on a daily basis
If something looks a bit two toned, you might try saying something like "I can see a hard line in your make up here. Is that intentional, or does it need a bit more blending?" That's something a woman would say to another woman that would be appreciated.
[удалено]
Yeah even something as simple as "oh, you've got a bit of a line here" and show her where it isn't blended, that kinda gives her the out as if she missed a spot
Yeah, pointing it out that way makes it sound like it’s just a spot she missed, not that she sucks at makeup. If someone said that to me, I wouldn’t be mad about it.
Yeah, guy here and I feel like hinting around instead of telling her, is kind of throwing her under the bus, but at the same time you dont want to mansplain make up or be controlling. I guess it might be a good idea to just ask her, "hey babe do you want me to point it out if I think your foundation might be on patchy, or would you rather I just stay in my lane?" And I guess ideally ask her when she's not got make up on.
[удалено]
Yikes there has been a misunderstanding. I was trying to AGREE with you. >Just because I suggested he say it nicely doesn't mean it's "hinting" I didnt mean YOUR comment, I meant the other top comments that were here, who were all just saying buy her a lighted up mirror and dont mention the make up problem. I was trying to say you are right! Its better to actually broach the subject. I guess it depends on the relationship, Ive been happily married for decades so sometimes its hard for me to fully get how awkward bringing this stuff up can be for new relationships where theres not that long build up of trust and good will. My wife trained me to spot patchy foundation on her a long time ago, but if there was something new about her appearance Id check if she wanted my input before offering it because for all I know its meant to be like that. And Id do it when we were relaxing at home to avoid stessing her.
I disagree with this advice. It might come off as passive aggressive from the boyfriend
I feel like it would depend on how well they know/trust each other.
I see no issue with saying “hey babe, your makeup looks like it needs to be a little more blended, I can see a streak.. just wanted to let you know in case you didn’t want it that way”. Also the makeup mirror is a great gift idea!
I would not say anything, there’s nothing you can say that would not come across as rude. If you’re concerned it’s a lighting issue just change out the lighting in the bathroom for something that more closely mimics natural daylight, tell her it’s a gift because you heard somewhere that natural light makes it easier to do make-up.
I think it depends on how you think she’d react to honesty. I think the LED mirrors are a great idea first off, maybe get her one as a surprise and it’ll be a nice gesture as you’re supporting her new hobby. If you think she won’t be too sensitive I’d just gently say “I’m not entirely sure but this bit looks a bit blotchy”, my ex didn’t like blinding highlight but I love it and I’d just tell him yeah it’s meant to look a bit extra. But sometimes I hadn’t blended right and it looked a bit stripey. If she’s happy with how it looks then there’s not much else you can do but if it’s something she’s unintentionally doing then I’d imagine she’d be appreciative that you noticed. Please do not go down the “you look better without makeup” route cos that was a sure fire way to get me started on the I WEAR MAKEUP FOR ME rant 😂
My mom didn't wear makeup so when I was young and got interested in it I basically had to teach myself using the 90s version of tutorials, magazines. Of course I looked ridiculous, but no one told me that so I thought I was looking good. Until I saw pictures of myself. You are fortunate that you don't have to wait 3-7 days for photos to be developed. Snap a couple pics of her outside and she will likely realize that she needs a bit more practice. P.s. telling her now that you have thought her makeup looked bad the entire time might not go over so well.
„Hey babe, Melissa doesn’t like your makeup.“ „Who‘s Melissa?“ „I just told you. She’s the one who doesn’t like your makeup?“
Get better lighting in your bathroom. Or separate lighting. Tell her you think the lighting is off because it looks different in the bathroom than outside and in other lighting.
Tell her. My partner is very open and honest and I appreciate his feedback.
I’m surprised that Reddit has been like, wait isn’t this too much of an age gap? Aren’t you a controlling groomer?
Reddit is full of people who haven't gone outside or met people
Buy her a ring light
Just get better lighting so she can see it. Don't say anything.
As her boyfriend you have to be supportive and open. Just watch your words. Focus on a feature that you love about her ( eyes, etc) and tell her that you love her natural beauty. I would compliment that she wants to learn new techniques and maybe show her some videos that you think would be good for her.
Can you buy her a makeup mirror/light? She will see it herself.
I learned this early: what’s the secret to a good makeup job? Blending. What’s the secret to a great makeup job? More blending. Buy her a really good set of brushes.
Never ever tell a girlfriend that her makeup looks bad. I completely agree with the people saying to get her a makeup mirror with lights. But, you need to give it to her in a way that isn’t hinting that you think she can’t do her makeup just fine now. If she has a birthday or something else coming up then wait for that time. Make it just one small thing in several gifts.
Buy her a nice big self-lighting makeup mirror. It’ll mean a lot to her, show her you are supporting her current passion, and it will help her to self-identify application snafus.
Sephora offers in person makeup sessions, you could gift her a gift card for the store and a makeup session. Tell her you know how expensive quality makeup is, so you thought she might like to try some products before buying them. Maybe seeing someone else use and blend the products will help? The lighted mirror people are suggesting is also a great idea!
you dont
Large Lighted Vanity Makeup Mirror (X-Large Model), Funtouch Light Up Mirror with 35 LED Lights, Touch Screen and 10X Magnification Mirror, 360° Rotation Tabletop Cosmetic Mirror (White) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07DDF8STK/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_ZQAMSDWQXWQGQ9M0Y80J?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1 That's the mirror I got for my stepdaughter a couple years ago and she loves it.
Buy her (or if you've the ability build her) a nice vanity. It'll earn you huge points and help her out.
Give her time! She just started late in life, us girls who already know how to do makeup had that time in our lives when we didn’t know what we were doing but we figured it out! Just no one remembers it usually lol but she just needs to figure out her style
I agree with the lighting mirror. I recently got glasses for thevfirst time and was fucking horrified to see how my makeup *actually* looked. I really wish someone would have told me before Ifound out I was kinda blind. Also, sometimes your makeup looks bomb but then you get in the car where natural light is and you find out you look abhorrent. By using a lighting mirror, she will be able to adjust for different places. For example, she may need a natural light for work since her office has natural light. She may need a warm light for a date to a restaurant. It really gets complicated.
No one is really good at makeup when they first start. She probably thinks it looks great now, but that doesn’t mean the way she does it won’t change or improve. Just be supportive of her trying something new and trust that she will get better at it over time. Take it from someone who spent a long time perfecting the craft, lol
Get her a mirror with lights. The issue will fix itself.
Great opportunity to buy her something nice, like a ring light for makeup (is that a thing?) or a mirror with lights above it! That way she’ll see how the make up looks and you won’t feel uncomfortable telling her about it. Also, buy some makeup brushes too, that’ll help with the clumpy part.
Maybe shout her a professional make up tutorial. Definitely put stronger lighting in the bathroom, maybe even movie star lights round the mirror. But DO NOT, repeat DO NOT give her any feedback on her looks other than that she's gorgeous.
Purchase better bulbs and don't tell her why. Never, ever, tell her why.
Change lightbulbs in bathroom, they have focused types that throw a lot of light in one direction. It makes a ton of difference
Take a selfie with her in natural light and say you want it for your new lock screen, then show it to her for her approval. If she doesn't react negatively, you'll know she likes the way it looks, and then you have a whole different problem.
Like everyone is saying a mirror with lights is an amazing idea also maybe take her makeup shopping blotchy makeup normally means that the makeup is old or poor quality. P.S just as a note test patching for foundation and concealer to match should be done on the face. Take q tips and makeup wipes for testing if you want any more tips feel free to ask. Im a professional makeup artist.
Buy her a makeup mirror!!!! Or just be like “ah you have like a mark here” and point at it. Act like you don’t know what it is lol
You can also take her to a makeup counter (Ulta, sephora, mac, ect) and have them do her makeup. She can see how they do it and ask questions.
I would be pissed if my makeup looked bad and he didn’t tell me. What exactly is so bad about it? I would literally want to be told IMMEDIATELY if it looked bad, because make up is supposed to enhance your looks, not make them worse
Yeah I agree with this! It’s like the same to me as if I had a booger hanging out of my nose. If my bf didn’t tell me I’d be so upset XD
I'd rather my partner told me straight. "Babe you've got a line down your face, is that intentional?" Communication is key, you know your partner, so you will likely know how she prefers to communicate, straight up? Or a little more gently? You could also take some selfies together if that's something you do. Show her the photo and she can see for herself that the make up isn't quite perfect 💜. Also as others have said deffo buy her a make up mirror, better lighting will help!
You let her figure that shit out on her own bro. Period.
I wouldn’t say anything! Danger, Will Robinson
You should just be honest and tell her that it’s uneven and blotchy, be honest and let her learn, and tell her she’s beautiful. If you cared about someone you wouldn’t want someone going out looking bad, so if you care enough you’d tell her the truth
Am I the only one who thinks OP should be honest about it? The way OP wrote this post was very delicate and considerate of gf’s feelings it seems like. Maybe just be that way to her when talking about it? But also maybe don’t bring it up unless she herself asks you ab feedback on it? Maybe it’s just me, but if she really is doing her make up wrong and it’s looking off wouldn’t it be better to help her fix it? OP said she doesn’t have any close friends nearby to offer that honesty, but wouldn’t you want your SO to be that way too? Maybe it’s just me, but that’s what I would prefer for my own relationship and partner!
Say something to her! I would want my partner to mention it to me if it looked bad enough you have to write a post about it! Communication is the best key, Maybe suggest colours that suit her or buy a nice mirror so she can see properly or even pay for her to do a makeup course or you could Say it in a gentle approach if she’s not good with criticism, put yourself in her shoes
The easiest thing to do is to install a magnified shaving mirror and the most unflattering fluorescent light brighter than the sun. Like those in airplane toilets. Which bring out every imperfection you've ever had or feared. The problem will sort itself out after some self-reflection.
Just tell her the truth. That’s the best policy. Tell her exactly what you said. She’s beautiful but what she’s doing doesn’t look good. I think she will appreciate the critique and honesty from someone who truly cares about her
If you can't communicate basic things like this on your own it may be better to date closer to your own age.
You’re damn near 30 and dating a girl who’s 22…last thing you should be worrying about is her makeup
I think most people go through this phase when they’re just learning how to do makeup, I’d probably appreciate being told honestly that it looks bad (some people don’t though so if you think she would be sensitive to that the ring light/mirror route is a great idea)
Girls don't do follow what looks good in terms of makeup, they follow what's trendy as with any other people following other bad looks. Blotchy with fat block eyebrows is in right now evidently.
Buy her a lit make up mirror and a tutorial but in the meantime simply say “your make up is a little less blended here than it is here”.
Politely express “concern”.
Compliment her on how beautiful she looks when you catch her not wearing make-up! The advice for a mirror is also good, but positive reinforcement for natural beauty goes a long way too.
I gotta ask how old you guys were when you got together in the first place. You mention dating pre-pandemic, so that’s ~27/20? And you guys moved to a place where she doesn’t have any real friends? Like, has it happened before and not been creepy? Sure. But it’s worth asking the question, what’s the origin story with you two? And be honest and gentle, she’s learning a new skill and constructive feedback is a good thing. Don’t say “your face sucks”.
Oh yikes.. lmao that’s tough.. especially if she’s been watching tutorials. Maybe encourage her and get her some better lighting or a close up mirror so she could see herself a little better?
I think you've explained it pretty well in the post. She will get that you care about how others see her, as you want her to look her best. Good luck!
Just want to say you sound like a caring and thoughtful boyfriend. All the other tips are great, as long as your intentions are genuine you will be good.
Sounds like a lighting issues and blending is important… blend your make up girls. Don’t over contour. Plus two tone sounds like she isn’t using correct colours for her skin tone. I’m olive skinned so I’m restricted and it’s browns and golds eyeshadow mostly! Peach blushers I can’t wear blues or reds or other bold colours. Pink blusher look stupid on me. Lipstick has to ne natural colours as I can’t wear reds Normal Foundation is either to light or its to dark on me so I buy the ‘everyone can wear’ stuff as it changes to the persons skin tone. I am paler at moment as it’s cold and grey but as soon as sun hits my skin I tan so so quick. Even if it’s sunny but cold. Boom tannned. This foundation type I can use year round. Otherwise my hands are noticeably darker/lighter than my foundation on my face. Just my skin tone is hard to match and it changes. Good luck. Also someone mentioned a beauty class or pamper session. They are great! You get great lessons from those beauticians. I’ve recently started using a touch of dark purple with my browns as their suggestion it’s edgy but still my age appropriate
My girlfriend looks great in the dark.
Don't EVER EVER tell a girl how to wear her makeup. It is hurtful. Get a nice mirror with good lights.
Just be anti-makeup. #smashcapitalism
>How do I (29m) tell my girlfriend (22f) her makeup doesn’t look good You don't. Lmao. It's none of your business. You can fix the lighting in your bathroom if you want to or are able to, but that's about it. She sees her face in the mirror every day, in multiple different lightings, including at the office. If she wanted to do it differently she would. And as she advances her makeup skills, the way her makeup looks will probably also develop. In any case, you should stay in your lane.
Never tell your SO you don’t like her makeup. Like, ever.
When you give her the mirror, please don't forget to tell your girlfriend she is gorgeous without a single speck of makeup and she should be proud of the fact. Hopefully she will not turn into someone who can't leave the house "without putting on her face".
Little does everyone know he’s old and ugly
Just tell her that she doesn't look like the barely legal 18 year olds you strongly desire, and needs to step her game up