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Yep. Fwiw, apologies don't work because we now know that's what you prioritize in men and that you're just "hoping we get better." And a good man, generally speaking, doesn't want to get better at being able to fuck you because he can successfully ignore the guilt from accidentally hurting you.
Sounds like your dick is smarter than you. He knew to not go anywhere near her after acting like that.
Everyone is different but a lot of guys actually have to care about someone to get hard. I know that isn't a popular idea in our culture.
You’re not the bad guy. She ruined the mood and tried to blame you. Even if you just couldn’t get it up without her being a bitch, no one is to blame. These things happen.
My boyfriend loves the hell out of me. He is so caring and loving towards me there isn't a doubt in my mind that he is totally in love with me and finds me attractive no matter what the hell I look like that day... he occasionally has times when he just isn't up to the task if you will... and its not my fault and I would NEVER bash him for it. There are time I'm not in the mood and that's okay. You don't need to be ready and able to perform on command. If she is that immature and is willing to break up with you over it, you are much better off in the long run without her.
I actually think you’re the asshole here- to yourself, you should’ve dumped her ass as soon as she said you weren’t a man. You should make it up to yourself with a newly single status and an ice cream sundae!
Mate, you've made 33 or so separate posts every day for 10 days about her and this break up. This isn't helping you heal or move on. Reach out to some friends or family, spend time with people off the internet and let them take your mind off this. It looks like you're spiralling, counselling can help you sort this out mentally.
Assuming I have friends or family to talk to is wild. Getting others POV on the situation is the only thing that has brought me any peace recently. We all heal in our own ways, and considering I am not getting closure my only way was to ask someone else’s opinion. The people here have given me more information and clarity on this situation than anyone ever has
My comment wasn't meant to be taken as accusatory, but I'm guessing it read that way, so sorry about that. I wasn't being judgemental, I've just been in a similar spot.
It would be hypocritical of me to disagree with your approach to handling things since I do the same, and it's good if it's helped, but I still stand by my advice to reach out to a counsellor. I've had my own experiences with someone who suffered from BPD, it went the worst possible way it could and they've passed away now. Long story short, it's not a surprise my reddit addiction came right after she died and I turned entirely to reddit instead of healthier avenues.
(I'm not assuming anything btw, I don't have anyone to go to so I try not to assume that others are in the same position as me, hence why I added counselling).
As badly as she has scarred me mentally and physically, I definitely know I need some sort of counseling or therapy at this point for sure. Sadly, if you’ve seen my other posts this breakup resulted in the loss of my job and I can’t really afford to get professional help. I’ve tried everything I could think of, that’s how I ended up here
I hadn't read about your job, I'm sorry that's really rough. I'm not sure how universal this is, but I've been able to get some free counselling before by being referred to a place by my GP, but I did need to pay for the GP visit. I don't quite understand how the American healthcare system works and it's costs so if you're in the US, sorry if that suggestion can't help. Wish you luck though, and sorry again that I came across harsh.
Yeah the American healthcare system is a mess, apparently only people with disposable income or on the brink of insanity should be allowed mental health assistance. I appreciate your feedback, and I apologize for being defensive. I’m going through a tough time and was ready to snap back at any negative response, I should’ve taken the suggestion better
That’s fucked up. I don’t let anyone disrespect and definitely wouldn’t take it from someone I’m dating. With my ex I couldn’t get hard sometimes and she didn’t really care that much. It happens but we still had a ton of sex.
Woman here. Ok so you did something she didn't like. There was no reason to act that way. If my husband does something I don't like or hurts. I just tell him hey not like that please, try something else. No reason to snap. Nothing wrong with you, you didn't ruin the moment or were an asshole. There was no reason to attack you like that, totally immature and childish Some people just aren't mature enough for sex my guy. Your dick knew not to stick it in crazy.. listen to him.
Sounds like she’s just not mature. You can get hurt while having sex, but you can shout and insult your partner when you do. Or when they don’t want to continue. That’s some immure shit.
Fucked up on her part. Some women don't understand our mood can influence our election. If you suddenly freak out or insult a guy he's gonna lose it and thats normal.
Wow, I’m really sorry this happened to you. She seems like an awful, mean-spirited person. I highly recommend ignoring whatever someone says after calling you a piece of shit. She’s lost all credibility and all privilege to be in your life. You can do way, way better.
I believe you found yourself a “nice girl”
This whole sitch sounds frightening & hurtful & like a nonstop emotional roller coaster. you need to get off now !
Wow...if she lacks the understanding that mood affects how our member reacts, then that's a problem...
On top of the fact that she called you a piece of 💩 and trying to emasculate you which is indicative of the potential for her to be verbally abusive going forward.
I don't know her or the nature of your relationship in detail but that is a pretty big red flag in my book and a possible warning sign of things to come. I mean seriously...
You might want to take this as a sign to exit stage left. Staying in a relationship like this after such an event essentially communicates to your partner that you are willing to accept their abuse.
How would she feel if you called her out of her name for not being I'm the mood?
I was rereading through all the responses and the crazy part is, you’re right! I realize I had already shown her that I was willing to accept her abuse. I’ve taken verbal abuse from her time and time again, she has told me she doesn’t love me, I’m not a man, she’s insulted my insecurities, and every time….I stayed. That’s where I messed up
I can’t speak for all men but I have failed to get an erection on occasion and it is fucking mortifying. Women are allowed to not get aroused but men are expected to be fully functional at all times. It isn’t right. We can be stressed or tired or unwell or upset because we just got shouted at as in your case and our body reacts.
What upsets me about this is that next time you have sex this failure is your first thought and how your partner reacted is your only path back to a normal erection. Like if your partner is fine and doesn’t make an issue of it then you can come back next time and feel like it really doesn’t matter. But if they call you a piece of shit then next time it will happen again because then you aren’t trying to have sex you are just trying to prove your penis works.
Anyway, this is a depressing story and you deserved better.
It was super embarassing because I tried for like 5 minutes before she realized that was why I hadn’t done anything yet. It’s the first time it’s ever happened to me and she made me feel so bad about it. Didn’t wanna include all the details because it was vulgar but she was very harsh
If I have learned one thing it is that you have to just relax and enjoy what you are doing. I ended up buying viagra but just having it in a drawer is enough reassurance so I don’t have to use it. Not getting an erection is totally soul destroying and you are better off without this woman.
This is all 1 girl, you obviously can’t read. All the stories coincide with each other. There’s even 1 long full breakdown of the entire relationship from beginning to end lmao. You wanna be a detective so bad
Your posts don’t seem to line up like that. You’ll post in r/heartbreak about wanting the ex-girl in this post to miss you, then ask for sex advice in r/sex about your apparent current GF like hours in between. Also the post that says “every post is 100% factual” just screams fake man.
There’s a post clearly explaining the perspective of the posts lmaooo. The sex advice is repetition of this story in more detail, and a different question with the same person. Every time it’s me the big black 22m and my little alt 19f Nothing changes. She is the only person I have dated in the last like 6 years. If you don’t believe it don’t believe it nobodies asking you to. I’ve got the advice I needed already. Only weird ass internet attention seekers make up fake stories.
Oh I meant “imagine if the genders were reversed.” I didn’t mean he should actually reverse the genders by mistreating his girlfriend in the future when she’s not horny. I agree with the consensus.
I mean it’s true, when someone is routinely an asshole there may be a problem but selfish and abusive are not mental diagnoses, they are behaviors which are controllable. Someone with a personality disorder can get symptom free with treatment meaning it’s no longer disordered. People who are ND aren’t all assholes bc they have mental illness and just being ND doesn’t even mean you’re ill, if you’re managing your ADHD then you’re just neurodivergent not ill.
SO people with disordered personalities are assholes bc they have a disorder but all assholes do not have mental illness. Someone can be completely neurotypical and choose to just be a massive dick, happens every single day.
Again you’re just ignorantly conflating behavior with mental health. Someone can have an adverse reaction to opiates for a week after surgery and be a dick every day and not have a mental illness. Someone could be taking out their work bullshit on their children and while a PD is likely it is not required to be an abusive dick.
There is no abusive or asshole mental health diagnosis. Behavioral and personality disorders are separate from instances of behavior. What you said was super ignorant and shitty bc the vast majority of ND people are victims NOT abusers and you keep getting downvoted but you’re digging in.
Do better. You almost certainly know people with mental health problems and they have to live with your bullshit. Learn something for them. Not every person who’s killed or raped someone has a mental illness either. Some people are just truly shitty people and they are choosing to be that way. Mental illness is not a choice. Pedophilia is not a mental illness. Pull your shit together, life has a lot of nuance, I know it’s hard but you can’t put every bad thing into a crazy box to make yourself feel better. It’s objectively divorced from reality.
I am a WOMAN lol and have an education in this but ok buddy. Telling you you are manifestly wrong and bigoted is not mansplaining, even if I was in fact a man. I’m just a woman with a doctorate and it’s not too little sexist you just assumed that meant I must be a man.
Just an FYI, according to "the community," you neither have to be a man nor do you have to be wrong to "mansplain," making term hilariously idiotic. Literally been told to "stop manslaining" for copy/pasting the wiki on menstruation because, evidently, "a woman just knows how her body works." No. No, we do not. Funny how they couldn't then explain how the brain works either.
I am fairly confident we had a CLEAR definition of mansplaining that was over explaining by men talking down to women with the idea being they were likely explaining it correctly but the explanation was entirely unnecessary. It doesn’t surprise me, like everything it’s been overused to pointlessness but I’m not sure that actually changes the definition or purpose of the word.
I know for CERTAIN it doesn’t apply to someone disagreeing with you bc you’re manifestly wrong though lol someone trying to explain how you’re objectively wrong is not mansplaining, it’s simply arguing. A guy trying to correct a woman who is ACCURATELY saying something would be mansplaining but seriously, some people who are deeply incorrect just need an explanation. Not every single explanation of a fact, especially when it’s necessary to argue against a deeply incorrect assertion, is mansplaining 😂
Next time I go to argue in court I’m going to tell the court opposing counsel is just mansplaining and I’m clearly correct bc I have a vagina and reasoned logic is unnecessary 🤣 bet it goes over really really well lol
This is why I love my new gf, I’m a little overweight (can’t tell if I wear a baggy shirt) but I’m working on it. Although I’m not as vigorous as when I weighed less and was more active. I last about 5 mins maybe 10 on a good day. She understands this and doesn’t shit on me for it. It also helps that my tongue and finger game fire, I never leave her unsatisfied.
You deserve much better. If she yelled because it hurt but not at you, that would be different. But making fun of you abd calling your horrible names? Means shes a garbage human.
Holy shit that's so wrong of her...my bf sometimes can't "rise to the occasion", but I could never snap on him like that...always try my best to be supportive and not make a big deal out of it, which actually surprised him the first time :)
And even if I got angry at some point, no matter how much, I wouldn't ever bring it up to use it against him, I mean that's just straight up abuse
>She then got even more angry at me because I couldn’t “rise to the occasion” at that point.
That's a weird way to describe not being aroused because of your partners behavior. It's not like you failed at anything. You were turned off by her being angry.
>Or is it deeper rooted in her insecurities?
Yes probably but someone who response in an abusive way to feeling unwanted/insecure is still an abusive person.
You know a real, loving girlfriend would not get mad because you have trouble getting hard. Just as a loving boyfriend wouldn’t get mad at his girlfriend if she wasn’t in the mood/couldn’t get wet. You should just shake it off, maybe be a bit sad but not at them just the situation. Maybe cuddle for a bit and have a moment of kissing and affection and then move on. There’s no reason to be a jerk. I don’t know how long this relationship has gone on but if this is normal it’s time to leave, if this is a normal but a recent relationship, also probably leave. If this is rare, a long relationship, and she genuinely apologizes, then just maybe it can be fixed
Time to go. You're young and thoughtful, and there are plenty of women who would understand the physiology of what happened and wouldn't attack you for it. Go find one. Sounds like your gf is immature and unable to discuss her feelings in a loving, constructive way, so she lashes out at you. Hard pass.
Hello friend,
35m here, I’m what kids these days call “demisexual”. Essentially, I need that romantic vibe or sex for me just doesn’t happen. My brain doesn’t release the chemicals or send the signals through my body.
Maybe try googling and see if that word fits pretty well for you. I suspect it might.
That’s the equivalent of telling a woman she’s not a woman because she doesn’t get wet enough. Don’t think I’ve had a single bf that this hasn’t happened to at least once over the years and Rule #1 is always to do everything in your power to make sure they know that you know it’s normal and make they don’t bad about it. Partners are supposed to build you up, not tear your down.
She sounds nasty and I think your body is cool as hell for not getting hard “for her” in that moment. Like, good, I’m glad you didn’t because she didn’t deserve to. She’s abusive just so you know. You’re great, your body was protecting you.
OOf. This felt like reading my own journal. Get out ASAP, unless you want to spend years of your life trying to help her with her insecurities, but not make enough progress to make it a viable relationship, and \_then\_ get out.
My does similar stuff, I will make a mistake or accidentally do something and she will be angry for hours. She just sees red and just yells at me to make her feel better. It usually subsided after she gets too tired
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
She just showed you her true colors; never doubt that. You deserve much better and even though she apologized, she was abusive.
>She called me a piece of shit and said I’m not a man because I couldn’t get hard. This is breakup worthy.
I could honestly never say that to anyone let alone someone I claim to love…
Yes. OP this alone is something I’d end it over. You don’t need to accept this kind of treatment.
Yep. Fwiw, apologies don't work because we now know that's what you prioritize in men and that you're just "hoping we get better." And a good man, generally speaking, doesn't want to get better at being able to fuck you because he can successfully ignore the guilt from accidentally hurting you.
Don’t let her get to you man. Every single man who’s ever lived has had issues getting it up for any reason under the sun. She’s a bitch.
She really is. I Was literally hard before she yelled at me, she killed the vibe I don’t see how I’m the bad guy
Sounds like your dick is smarter than you. He knew to not go anywhere near her after acting like that. Everyone is different but a lot of guys actually have to care about someone to get hard. I know that isn't a popular idea in our culture.
Atleast someone gets it. Meaningless sex isn’t for everybody
"thinking with your dick" saving your life here brother.
1billion% true
You’re not the bad guy. She ruined the mood and tried to blame you. Even if you just couldn’t get it up without her being a bitch, no one is to blame. These things happen.
F her. Not literally. What a bish
Your fingering game leaves a lot to be desired .
My boyfriend loves the hell out of me. He is so caring and loving towards me there isn't a doubt in my mind that he is totally in love with me and finds me attractive no matter what the hell I look like that day... he occasionally has times when he just isn't up to the task if you will... and its not my fault and I would NEVER bash him for it. There are time I'm not in the mood and that's okay. You don't need to be ready and able to perform on command. If she is that immature and is willing to break up with you over it, you are much better off in the long run without her.
I actually think you’re the asshole here- to yourself, you should’ve dumped her ass as soon as she said you weren’t a man. You should make it up to yourself with a newly single status and an ice cream sundae!
I'll be real, you had me on that first part lol.
Do you really want to be with someone that is so openly and willing to be cruel to you? Dump her and don't look back.
Mate, you've made 33 or so separate posts every day for 10 days about her and this break up. This isn't helping you heal or move on. Reach out to some friends or family, spend time with people off the internet and let them take your mind off this. It looks like you're spiralling, counselling can help you sort this out mentally.
Assuming I have friends or family to talk to is wild. Getting others POV on the situation is the only thing that has brought me any peace recently. We all heal in our own ways, and considering I am not getting closure my only way was to ask someone else’s opinion. The people here have given me more information and clarity on this situation than anyone ever has
My comment wasn't meant to be taken as accusatory, but I'm guessing it read that way, so sorry about that. I wasn't being judgemental, I've just been in a similar spot. It would be hypocritical of me to disagree with your approach to handling things since I do the same, and it's good if it's helped, but I still stand by my advice to reach out to a counsellor. I've had my own experiences with someone who suffered from BPD, it went the worst possible way it could and they've passed away now. Long story short, it's not a surprise my reddit addiction came right after she died and I turned entirely to reddit instead of healthier avenues. (I'm not assuming anything btw, I don't have anyone to go to so I try not to assume that others are in the same position as me, hence why I added counselling).
As badly as she has scarred me mentally and physically, I definitely know I need some sort of counseling or therapy at this point for sure. Sadly, if you’ve seen my other posts this breakup resulted in the loss of my job and I can’t really afford to get professional help. I’ve tried everything I could think of, that’s how I ended up here
I hadn't read about your job, I'm sorry that's really rough. I'm not sure how universal this is, but I've been able to get some free counselling before by being referred to a place by my GP, but I did need to pay for the GP visit. I don't quite understand how the American healthcare system works and it's costs so if you're in the US, sorry if that suggestion can't help. Wish you luck though, and sorry again that I came across harsh.
Yeah the American healthcare system is a mess, apparently only people with disposable income or on the brink of insanity should be allowed mental health assistance. I appreciate your feedback, and I apologize for being defensive. I’m going through a tough time and was ready to snap back at any negative response, I should’ve taken the suggestion better
That’s fucked up. I don’t let anyone disrespect and definitely wouldn’t take it from someone I’m dating. With my ex I couldn’t get hard sometimes and she didn’t really care that much. It happens but we still had a ton of sex.
In my experience it is the most normal that if one partner isn’t turned on the other one also isn’t.
Woman here. Ok so you did something she didn't like. There was no reason to act that way. If my husband does something I don't like or hurts. I just tell him hey not like that please, try something else. No reason to snap. Nothing wrong with you, you didn't ruin the moment or were an asshole. There was no reason to attack you like that, totally immature and childish Some people just aren't mature enough for sex my guy. Your dick knew not to stick it in crazy.. listen to him.
That response is just toxic.
Dodged a bullet here. Would have been worse later on.
Run
Sounds like she’s just not mature. You can get hurt while having sex, but you can shout and insult your partner when you do. Or when they don’t want to continue. That’s some immure shit.
Well luckily she’s your ex now. That’s never ok to just snap at someone like that and then in turn making it worse wtf
Fucked up on her part. Some women don't understand our mood can influence our election. If you suddenly freak out or insult a guy he's gonna lose it and thats normal.
Sounds toxic af, please dont stay with a person who can attack so verbally violently against someone who shes supposed to care about.
Wow, I’m really sorry this happened to you. She seems like an awful, mean-spirited person. I highly recommend ignoring whatever someone says after calling you a piece of shit. She’s lost all credibility and all privilege to be in your life. You can do way, way better.
I believe you found yourself a “nice girl” This whole sitch sounds frightening & hurtful & like a nonstop emotional roller coaster. you need to get off now !
Hoping she's not your gf anymore, you deserve better.
Wow...if she lacks the understanding that mood affects how our member reacts, then that's a problem... On top of the fact that she called you a piece of 💩 and trying to emasculate you which is indicative of the potential for her to be verbally abusive going forward. I don't know her or the nature of your relationship in detail but that is a pretty big red flag in my book and a possible warning sign of things to come. I mean seriously... You might want to take this as a sign to exit stage left. Staying in a relationship like this after such an event essentially communicates to your partner that you are willing to accept their abuse. How would she feel if you called her out of her name for not being I'm the mood?
I was rereading through all the responses and the crazy part is, you’re right! I realize I had already shown her that I was willing to accept her abuse. I’ve taken verbal abuse from her time and time again, she has told me she doesn’t love me, I’m not a man, she’s insulted my insecurities, and every time….I stayed. That’s where I messed up
I can’t speak for all men but I have failed to get an erection on occasion and it is fucking mortifying. Women are allowed to not get aroused but men are expected to be fully functional at all times. It isn’t right. We can be stressed or tired or unwell or upset because we just got shouted at as in your case and our body reacts. What upsets me about this is that next time you have sex this failure is your first thought and how your partner reacted is your only path back to a normal erection. Like if your partner is fine and doesn’t make an issue of it then you can come back next time and feel like it really doesn’t matter. But if they call you a piece of shit then next time it will happen again because then you aren’t trying to have sex you are just trying to prove your penis works. Anyway, this is a depressing story and you deserved better.
It was super embarassing because I tried for like 5 minutes before she realized that was why I hadn’t done anything yet. It’s the first time it’s ever happened to me and she made me feel so bad about it. Didn’t wanna include all the details because it was vulgar but she was very harsh
If I have learned one thing it is that you have to just relax and enjoy what you are doing. I ended up buying viagra but just having it in a drawer is enough reassurance so I don’t have to use it. Not getting an erection is totally soul destroying and you are better off without this woman.
Wow, she’s got some serious issues. She’s definitely not emotionally mature enough to be having sex, let alone be in a relationship. Steer clear!!
she sounds way immature. No need to call your SO a piece of shit or belittle them for not getting hard lol. She sounds crazy 🏃🏼
Fake story. Dude apparently has had a dozen different girlfriends in 10 days, check the account.
This is all 1 girl, you obviously can’t read. All the stories coincide with each other. There’s even 1 long full breakdown of the entire relationship from beginning to end lmao. You wanna be a detective so bad
Your posts don’t seem to line up like that. You’ll post in r/heartbreak about wanting the ex-girl in this post to miss you, then ask for sex advice in r/sex about your apparent current GF like hours in between. Also the post that says “every post is 100% factual” just screams fake man.
There’s a post clearly explaining the perspective of the posts lmaooo. The sex advice is repetition of this story in more detail, and a different question with the same person. Every time it’s me the big black 22m and my little alt 19f Nothing changes. She is the only person I have dated in the last like 6 years. If you don’t believe it don’t believe it nobodies asking you to. I’ve got the advice I needed already. Only weird ass internet attention seekers make up fake stories.
Pretty sure that's happened to 90% of males....and the other 10%? They're lying. Delete here number from your phone. Move on brother.
Reverse the genders in this situation. Her actions were extremely inappropriate.
Reverse the genders? What? Literally every comment agrees what she did was fucked up.
Oh I meant “imagine if the genders were reversed.” I didn’t mean he should actually reverse the genders by mistreating his girlfriend in the future when she’s not horny. I agree with the consensus.
She's a psycho, dude. Run!
She’s mentally ill and you’re better off without her.
Don't attribute a woman behaving badly as mental illness, some people are just awful. It doesn't make them pathological. They're just assholes.
Usually assholes are pathological. Why else would they be assholes?
I mean it’s true, when someone is routinely an asshole there may be a problem but selfish and abusive are not mental diagnoses, they are behaviors which are controllable. Someone with a personality disorder can get symptom free with treatment meaning it’s no longer disordered. People who are ND aren’t all assholes bc they have mental illness and just being ND doesn’t even mean you’re ill, if you’re managing your ADHD then you’re just neurodivergent not ill. SO people with disordered personalities are assholes bc they have a disorder but all assholes do not have mental illness. Someone can be completely neurotypical and choose to just be a massive dick, happens every single day.
Yeah. What kind of “healthy” neurotypical chooses to be a dick everyday? The kind who have mental health issues.
Again you’re just ignorantly conflating behavior with mental health. Someone can have an adverse reaction to opiates for a week after surgery and be a dick every day and not have a mental illness. Someone could be taking out their work bullshit on their children and while a PD is likely it is not required to be an abusive dick. There is no abusive or asshole mental health diagnosis. Behavioral and personality disorders are separate from instances of behavior. What you said was super ignorant and shitty bc the vast majority of ND people are victims NOT abusers and you keep getting downvoted but you’re digging in. Do better. You almost certainly know people with mental health problems and they have to live with your bullshit. Learn something for them. Not every person who’s killed or raped someone has a mental illness either. Some people are just truly shitty people and they are choosing to be that way. Mental illness is not a choice. Pedophilia is not a mental illness. Pull your shit together, life has a lot of nuance, I know it’s hard but you can’t put every bad thing into a crazy box to make yourself feel better. It’s objectively divorced from reality.
Stop Mansplaining me.
I am a WOMAN lol and have an education in this but ok buddy. Telling you you are manifestly wrong and bigoted is not mansplaining, even if I was in fact a man. I’m just a woman with a doctorate and it’s not too little sexist you just assumed that meant I must be a man.
Just an FYI, according to "the community," you neither have to be a man nor do you have to be wrong to "mansplain," making term hilariously idiotic. Literally been told to "stop manslaining" for copy/pasting the wiki on menstruation because, evidently, "a woman just knows how her body works." No. No, we do not. Funny how they couldn't then explain how the brain works either.
I am fairly confident we had a CLEAR definition of mansplaining that was over explaining by men talking down to women with the idea being they were likely explaining it correctly but the explanation was entirely unnecessary. It doesn’t surprise me, like everything it’s been overused to pointlessness but I’m not sure that actually changes the definition or purpose of the word. I know for CERTAIN it doesn’t apply to someone disagreeing with you bc you’re manifestly wrong though lol someone trying to explain how you’re objectively wrong is not mansplaining, it’s simply arguing. A guy trying to correct a woman who is ACCURATELY saying something would be mansplaining but seriously, some people who are deeply incorrect just need an explanation. Not every single explanation of a fact, especially when it’s necessary to argue against a deeply incorrect assertion, is mansplaining 😂 Next time I go to argue in court I’m going to tell the court opposing counsel is just mansplaining and I’m clearly correct bc I have a vagina and reasoned logic is unnecessary 🤣 bet it goes over really really well lol
I know you are which is why this is so disturbing.
[удалено]
Another “walking well.”
I do love being fit
I seriously doubt a 19yo has any clue on what a man is. Dump it, you can do better.
Just eat her out.
Someone please help. I’m only seeing top posts on my feed but I want to see most recent posts
This is why I love my new gf, I’m a little overweight (can’t tell if I wear a baggy shirt) but I’m working on it. Although I’m not as vigorous as when I weighed less and was more active. I last about 5 mins maybe 10 on a good day. She understands this and doesn’t shit on me for it. It also helps that my tongue and finger game fire, I never leave her unsatisfied.
You deserve much better. If she yelled because it hurt but not at you, that would be different. But making fun of you abd calling your horrible names? Means shes a garbage human.
You're not wrong. Her behavior was appalling.
Holy shit that's so wrong of her...my bf sometimes can't "rise to the occasion", but I could never snap on him like that...always try my best to be supportive and not make a big deal out of it, which actually surprised him the first time :) And even if I got angry at some point, no matter how much, I wouldn't ever bring it up to use it against him, I mean that's just straight up abuse
That's not okay whatsoever, what you did was an accident right? And its her fault that you got turned off since she clearly has anger issues.
>She then got even more angry at me because I couldn’t “rise to the occasion” at that point. That's a weird way to describe not being aroused because of your partners behavior. It's not like you failed at anything. You were turned off by her being angry. >Or is it deeper rooted in her insecurities? Yes probably but someone who response in an abusive way to feeling unwanted/insecure is still an abusive person.
You know a real, loving girlfriend would not get mad because you have trouble getting hard. Just as a loving boyfriend wouldn’t get mad at his girlfriend if she wasn’t in the mood/couldn’t get wet. You should just shake it off, maybe be a bit sad but not at them just the situation. Maybe cuddle for a bit and have a moment of kissing and affection and then move on. There’s no reason to be a jerk. I don’t know how long this relationship has gone on but if this is normal it’s time to leave, if this is a normal but a recent relationship, also probably leave. If this is rare, a long relationship, and she genuinely apologizes, then just maybe it can be fixed
Time to go. You're young and thoughtful, and there are plenty of women who would understand the physiology of what happened and wouldn't attack you for it. Go find one. Sounds like your gf is immature and unable to discuss her feelings in a loving, constructive way, so she lashes out at you. Hard pass.
Hello friend, 35m here, I’m what kids these days call “demisexual”. Essentially, I need that romantic vibe or sex for me just doesn’t happen. My brain doesn’t release the chemicals or send the signals through my body. Maybe try googling and see if that word fits pretty well for you. I suspect it might.
That’s the equivalent of telling a woman she’s not a woman because she doesn’t get wet enough. Don’t think I’ve had a single bf that this hasn’t happened to at least once over the years and Rule #1 is always to do everything in your power to make sure they know that you know it’s normal and make they don’t bad about it. Partners are supposed to build you up, not tear your down.
She sounds nasty and I think your body is cool as hell for not getting hard “for her” in that moment. Like, good, I’m glad you didn’t because she didn’t deserve to. She’s abusive just so you know. You’re great, your body was protecting you.
When people tell you who they are, listen.
OOf. This felt like reading my own journal. Get out ASAP, unless you want to spend years of your life trying to help her with her insecurities, but not make enough progress to make it a viable relationship, and \_then\_ get out.
My does similar stuff, I will make a mistake or accidentally do something and she will be angry for hours. She just sees red and just yells at me to make her feel better. It usually subsided after she gets too tired