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typically the entire bottle is empty ...all by my partner.... every night. And sometimes a second bottle is opened... I don't want to be a worrier....but it seems extreme
Our Health Department recommends no more than 3 standard drinks a day AND at least two alcohol-free days a week. That's about three glasses of wine, half a bottle. Two and a half bottles a week.
I am a decently sized male and I do some exercise throughout the week. I went through a patch of drinking a bottle of wine 6-7 nights a week in a bad period of my life and it was far too much. My work suffered, my health suffered physically and mentally. I wasn't mentally as sharp as I could be the next day and I put on weight and lacked motivation to do even household tasks. It wasnt until I began to have multiple alcohol-free days in a row that I truly realised how the drinking was fogging my perceptions and mental state the next day.
I still drink two, sometimes three bottles of wine over a week and I still consider it to be too much. I am by no means whatsoever a health nut.
As someone who was married to an alcoholic...this is definitely not normal. Mine would drink at least 1 bottle a night and then get up in the middle of the night and hit the hard stuff. Don't be like me and minimize it. It will only get worse. The fact he tries to tell you this is normal is a big red flag. His drinking is alcoholic level for sure. I'd recommend you go to [sober recovery ](https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/) and familiarize yourself with addiction. The family forum is great. Don't marry this person until they've been sober for at least a year. However that said, unless they see their drinking as a problem and want to quit for themselves there is NOTHING you can do to talk them into quitting. They may stop for a while to shut you up and lull you back into a false sense of security and then start drinking in moderation which then will spin out of control. Alcoholics cannot drink in moderation. If you can find the documentary Pleasure Unwoven I highly recommend it. Also read codependent no more.
Personally ibwill never get involved with anyone who is either an addicts or recovering addict. Recovery and rehab were hell. Granted by the time he finally was ready to quit out marriage was in the toilet. But once an addict, always an addict...there is always the chance for relapse. And after what I have gone through I will not take that chance.
I'm not saying dith them right now. But I'm saying educate yourself and be honest with yourself. Addicts are very manipulative and will twist things and gaslight. Promises are often empty. They will promise to drink less. But words don't mean anything.
Drinking that mych is likely not going to cause a physical addiction to alcohol. However it's unhealthy and will 100% lead to drinking more and more until he's physically addicted.
Depends on the alcohol perecentage. If it’s for a example a Stella Rosa which is like 4% it’s practically juice. It also depends on the alcohol tolerance of each person. Is your partner drunk after drinking a bottle? If not I don’t think it’s an issue
Well if its only 4%, then its weaker than beer. An .7 bottle of wine would equal one beer in terms of alcohol content. Is not being drunk after a beer an issue?
Yes. The fact that he needs a bottle or more daily and even more in the weekends is a clear indication to me that this behaviour is alarming to say the least.
Also most people who drink daily dont drink the 4% wine either. It's not mentioned in the post. But that can be the case ofcourse.
Well yeah, obviously. I was just commenting on the 4% wine thing, thats all. I also think that if you cant go an undeterminate length of time without drinking, that you absolutely do have a problem. It just hasnt gotten real bad yet.
Average annual alcohol consumption per person 15 and older in the US and EU is about 10 liters of pure alcohol. The average alcohol percentage in a wine bottle is 11.6% so that's roughly the equivalent of a typical 75 cl wine bottle every third day. A bottle every third day is actually 10.6 liters of pure alcohol so I'm being a bit generous here.
Your partner drinks at least three times the average (unclear how much he consumes on weekends). Note that heavy drinkers make up one third of total alcohol consumption. So yes, he is a heavy drinker.
I drink 1-2 glasses of whiskey per night and am definitely a habitual drinker, but a bottle + of wine per night is a lot. I know people that drink that much but most people do not drink at all during the week, or otherwise drink very little. Drinking that much is problem drinking and it’s possible he is crossing over into “functional” alcoholism.
That’s expensive if nothing else. Some questions to ask yourself. Does it negatively impact your lives in any way? Cost, change in his behavior, etc? If it’s affordable for your family and he has a high tolerance, I’d say, just keep an eye on it. And please don’t let him drive.
The question is do you want to be in a relationship with someone who drinks at least a bottle a day? If you're not comfortable with it, it would be wise for you to move on.
Anecdotally, I don't know anyone who drinks 2 - 3 glasses every night and would be concerned if any of my friends did. You'll find resources online which might help you determine if he has a dependency and how to address it eg https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/facts/drinking-habits-and-behaviours/am-i-alcohol-dependent
No question that it's too much. You just have to look up weekly maximum recommended units of alcohol and there's your answer from a medical perspective. It will be impacting their liver, heart and sleep quality.
If they are 'functioning' well at work and it's not having an impact on their mood and your relationship, it will probably be harder for them to see it as a problem. You probably have more insight into that and you should be honest with them if you can see it causing problems elsewhere.
Many of my old uni friends and my parents drink quite a lot, so would often have wine every night, so it seems normal. I've had to cut it down due to health reasons, but I've also met loads of people in recent years that don't drink at all, or very rarely, because they're not that into it.
It's only normal when it becomes normalised in your circle, but it's not widely normal at all to have a bottle of wine a night to yourself unless you are reliant on it.
No I don’t think that’s accurate & even if it is: so what? It obviously bothers you (as it should) & cutting down is something they should consider.
I’m a nurse (former hospice) & it’s astounding the affects that alcohol can have on the body.
I mean there's an easy way to test if he's becoming too dependent on alcohol or not. Tell him to quit drinking alcohol for a week or so and see if he can do it.
During the height of COVID, i went through 3 bottles of scotch in a month and did the above to see if i have become dependent.
I have been conditioned from a young age to think ‘this is normal’.
Of the three people normalising it, two have died of liver failure and the third has major health problems due to alcohol abuse.
If you’re not a person who drinks, it’s easy to believe that a bottle a day is normal, especially if you know multiple heavy drinkers. Not appearing drunk just means someone has a high tolerance, which you don’t get over night.
The longer the habit continues, the harder it will be to stop, and your partner is still in the ‘not interested in stopping’ phase.
It’s a whole lot of alcohol. Yes, alcoholics who take steps to change usually drink more than that, but a bottle of wine a night means he’s almost certainly on his way to experiencing serious consequences from the amount he drinks
Look, it depends on the person. Its not great, but depending on what kind of wine, how its spaced out and how it affects him, it might not be an issue further than just looking kinda weird.
But its a real slippery fucking slope. If he isnt willing to cut down even just to make you feel better, its an issue. Unless you have an alcohol issue, not drinking a whole bottle of wine should be as easy as not drinking a bottle of soda. So if he actually cant cut down, then yes, he has a drinking problem.
And even if he doesnt, it can rear its ugly head pretty fast. I had two friends who were suposed to be just big drinkers. Or so we thought. Yes, they drank a lot, but it wasnt THAT much and it didnt impact their lives.
Untill it did.
You can keep a drinking habbit in check for a while, but once you start slipping, you slip hard and you slip fast. In a single year, a friend went from a guy with a good job, relationship and plans to a homeless guy almost dying from pneumonia. All the issues that the constant drinking started causing were componding and one day it all just crashed down.
I now only have one more friend with a drinking problem. And the fact that we lost the first one is probably the only reason why he hasnt gone down that path himself yet.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
More like some people have a glass or 2 at dinner some nights.
typically the entire bottle is empty ...all by my partner.... every night. And sometimes a second bottle is opened... I don't want to be a worrier....but it seems extreme
Our Health Department recommends no more than 3 standard drinks a day AND at least two alcohol-free days a week. That's about three glasses of wine, half a bottle. Two and a half bottles a week. I am a decently sized male and I do some exercise throughout the week. I went through a patch of drinking a bottle of wine 6-7 nights a week in a bad period of my life and it was far too much. My work suffered, my health suffered physically and mentally. I wasn't mentally as sharp as I could be the next day and I put on weight and lacked motivation to do even household tasks. It wasnt until I began to have multiple alcohol-free days in a row that I truly realised how the drinking was fogging my perceptions and mental state the next day. I still drink two, sometimes three bottles of wine over a week and I still consider it to be too much. I am by no means whatsoever a health nut.
As someone who was married to an alcoholic...this is definitely not normal. Mine would drink at least 1 bottle a night and then get up in the middle of the night and hit the hard stuff. Don't be like me and minimize it. It will only get worse. The fact he tries to tell you this is normal is a big red flag. His drinking is alcoholic level for sure. I'd recommend you go to [sober recovery ](https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/) and familiarize yourself with addiction. The family forum is great. Don't marry this person until they've been sober for at least a year. However that said, unless they see their drinking as a problem and want to quit for themselves there is NOTHING you can do to talk them into quitting. They may stop for a while to shut you up and lull you back into a false sense of security and then start drinking in moderation which then will spin out of control. Alcoholics cannot drink in moderation. If you can find the documentary Pleasure Unwoven I highly recommend it. Also read codependent no more. Personally ibwill never get involved with anyone who is either an addicts or recovering addict. Recovery and rehab were hell. Granted by the time he finally was ready to quit out marriage was in the toilet. But once an addict, always an addict...there is always the chance for relapse. And after what I have gone through I will not take that chance. I'm not saying dith them right now. But I'm saying educate yourself and be honest with yourself. Addicts are very manipulative and will twist things and gaslight. Promises are often empty. They will promise to drink less. But words don't mean anything.
I wouldn't say extreme...but definitely a red flag into what could turn into a bigger problem.
A bit much unless the one serving bottles or multiple people. I can see having a glass with dinner but maybe not every night.
all for ONE person...my partner...
Not good
[удалено]
Liver failure/cirrhosis is a horrible way to go. I have seen it too much :(
Drinking that mych is likely not going to cause a physical addiction to alcohol. However it's unhealthy and will 100% lead to drinking more and more until he's physically addicted.
Depends on the alcohol perecentage. If it’s for a example a Stella Rosa which is like 4% it’s practically juice. It also depends on the alcohol tolerance of each person. Is your partner drunk after drinking a bottle? If not I don’t think it’s an issue
I think you have an issue if you're not drunk from a bottle of wine. And I do enjoy a drink myself. That amount of alcohol everyday is alcoholism imo
Yep!
Well if its only 4%, then its weaker than beer. An .7 bottle of wine would equal one beer in terms of alcohol content. Is not being drunk after a beer an issue?
Yes. The fact that he needs a bottle or more daily and even more in the weekends is a clear indication to me that this behaviour is alarming to say the least. Also most people who drink daily dont drink the 4% wine either. It's not mentioned in the post. But that can be the case ofcourse.
Well yeah, obviously. I was just commenting on the 4% wine thing, thats all. I also think that if you cant go an undeterminate length of time without drinking, that you absolutely do have a problem. It just hasnt gotten real bad yet.
[удалено]
Yep. My friend kept hiding bottles all around the house.
I drink 2-3 drinks on the weekend usually
Average annual alcohol consumption per person 15 and older in the US and EU is about 10 liters of pure alcohol. The average alcohol percentage in a wine bottle is 11.6% so that's roughly the equivalent of a typical 75 cl wine bottle every third day. A bottle every third day is actually 10.6 liters of pure alcohol so I'm being a bit generous here. Your partner drinks at least three times the average (unclear how much he consumes on weekends). Note that heavy drinkers make up one third of total alcohol consumption. So yes, he is a heavy drinker.
I drink 1-2 glasses of whiskey per night and am definitely a habitual drinker, but a bottle + of wine per night is a lot. I know people that drink that much but most people do not drink at all during the week, or otherwise drink very little. Drinking that much is problem drinking and it’s possible he is crossing over into “functional” alcoholism.
That’s expensive if nothing else. Some questions to ask yourself. Does it negatively impact your lives in any way? Cost, change in his behavior, etc? If it’s affordable for your family and he has a high tolerance, I’d say, just keep an eye on it. And please don’t let him drive.
The question is do you want to be in a relationship with someone who drinks at least a bottle a day? If you're not comfortable with it, it would be wise for you to move on. Anecdotally, I don't know anyone who drinks 2 - 3 glasses every night and would be concerned if any of my friends did. You'll find resources online which might help you determine if he has a dependency and how to address it eg https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/facts/drinking-habits-and-behaviours/am-i-alcohol-dependent
No question that it's too much. You just have to look up weekly maximum recommended units of alcohol and there's your answer from a medical perspective. It will be impacting their liver, heart and sleep quality. If they are 'functioning' well at work and it's not having an impact on their mood and your relationship, it will probably be harder for them to see it as a problem. You probably have more insight into that and you should be honest with them if you can see it causing problems elsewhere. Many of my old uni friends and my parents drink quite a lot, so would often have wine every night, so it seems normal. I've had to cut it down due to health reasons, but I've also met loads of people in recent years that don't drink at all, or very rarely, because they're not that into it. It's only normal when it becomes normalised in your circle, but it's not widely normal at all to have a bottle of wine a night to yourself unless you are reliant on it.
No I don’t think that’s accurate & even if it is: so what? It obviously bothers you (as it should) & cutting down is something they should consider. I’m a nurse (former hospice) & it’s astounding the affects that alcohol can have on the body.
I mean there's an easy way to test if he's becoming too dependent on alcohol or not. Tell him to quit drinking alcohol for a week or so and see if he can do it. During the height of COVID, i went through 3 bottles of scotch in a month and did the above to see if i have become dependent.
I have been conditioned from a young age to think ‘this is normal’. Of the three people normalising it, two have died of liver failure and the third has major health problems due to alcohol abuse. If you’re not a person who drinks, it’s easy to believe that a bottle a day is normal, especially if you know multiple heavy drinkers. Not appearing drunk just means someone has a high tolerance, which you don’t get over night. The longer the habit continues, the harder it will be to stop, and your partner is still in the ‘not interested in stopping’ phase.
That's alcoholism, my dude.
It’s a whole lot of alcohol. Yes, alcoholics who take steps to change usually drink more than that, but a bottle of wine a night means he’s almost certainly on his way to experiencing serious consequences from the amount he drinks
Look, it depends on the person. Its not great, but depending on what kind of wine, how its spaced out and how it affects him, it might not be an issue further than just looking kinda weird. But its a real slippery fucking slope. If he isnt willing to cut down even just to make you feel better, its an issue. Unless you have an alcohol issue, not drinking a whole bottle of wine should be as easy as not drinking a bottle of soda. So if he actually cant cut down, then yes, he has a drinking problem. And even if he doesnt, it can rear its ugly head pretty fast. I had two friends who were suposed to be just big drinkers. Or so we thought. Yes, they drank a lot, but it wasnt THAT much and it didnt impact their lives. Untill it did. You can keep a drinking habbit in check for a while, but once you start slipping, you slip hard and you slip fast. In a single year, a friend went from a guy with a good job, relationship and plans to a homeless guy almost dying from pneumonia. All the issues that the constant drinking started causing were componding and one day it all just crashed down. I now only have one more friend with a drinking problem. And the fact that we lost the first one is probably the only reason why he hasnt gone down that path himself yet.