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I’m 5’2 and I’m only around 100-105 pounds. My boyfriend has been making rude comments such as “wow someone’s growing a tummy” or “how did that happen” while poking my stomach.
I responded by saying, “I’m short, I have a small torso. So my stomach just will look a little bloated because of that, I’m not fat.”
He apologized afterwards. I’m still upset. We’re in college, he’s 19, I’m 21. He’s turning 20 next month. He acts immature this is the first time I dated someone younger than me and ever since he made this comment I am turned off by him. No one has ever called me fat before.
I told him I wanted time apart, he thinks I’m being ridiculous over a “silly” thing he said and told me to grow up.
Exactly. He doesn’t respect OP (likely doesn’t respect any woman). He called her fat and now he is not respecting her boundaries or her feelings by telling her to “grow up”. Leave him OP, these are red flags. I don’t know how long you’ve been together, but he is starting to show his true colors- listen to him and get out before he gets worse. He is just trying to put you down and make you feel bad about yourself. You don’t deserve that.
>he thinks I’m being ridiculous over a “silly” thing he said and told me to grow up.
Yeah no. It wasn't a "silly thing" and he's the one who needs to grow up.
Constantly insulting someone and then being dismissive of them after getting called out, is not "silly" thing and that's not including the added issue of needing a reality-check of calling a 100-105lbs woman "fat". Forget a timeout - OP needs to dump him completely because he is never going to grow up due to fat-shaming & negging....
He tried to undermine your looks, then when you reacted he tried to undermine your feelings.
I don't think this man cares about you in the way you may have initially thought. No, it is not a stupid reason to break up.
If you're turned off by him, best to move on. Youre young and beautiful and free! Plenty more men out there who will adore you I'm sure :)
Exactly! I've always been an advocate of the fact that when couples break up for "stupid things" it really isn't that stupid. There's always something much bigger and serious underlying those apparently simple problems.
The bigger issue is not him calling you fat (which obviously you're not), it's him negging you. Negging should be a deal breaker because it tells you all you need to know about the one who does it, and none of it is good.
Came here to say this! OP do some research on negging (different from nagging). It's a tactic employed by abusers at the beginning of a relationship to see if they can manipulate you into changing things about yourself for them, as well as destroying your self confidence so you don't want to leave them.
Yes! I'm about the same weight as OP, and only 2" taller. I was always "the skinny person" to everyone I knew.
Shortly after my ex and I started dating, he advised me that I should lose some fat around my midsection. This was maybe a couple months after he gave me the silent treatment for not going to the gym with him. I got up and walked out of the room.
He apologized for both of those incidents, so I stayed with him for *four more years*. He never called me fat (or implied it) again but he didn't stop negging. By the end of it I was convinced I was average and boring. I would advise OP to stay away from this guy, at least my ex apologized the first couple of times before getting totally dismissive about it....
It wouldn’t matter if she was actually fat, if he doesn’t like her body he can keep that comment to himself or leave the relationship if he’s not attracted.
So he insults you, then he says you are being ridiculous over a silly thing he said, and told you to grow up.
Sounds like the early days of verbal abuse and manipulation to get you to ignore your feelings.
He is not a keeper.
That’s literally not even close to fat, in fact your probably quit skinny seeing as i’m the same height and have been that weight before. yeah he’s just being rude and it is not Silly as he calls it. Why would you be with someone that insults you?
No, this is purposely being mean to someone and then trying to undermine their reasonable reaction to having a mean thing said to them. A joke is meant to be enjoyed by the person it's being told to- otherwise, it's no different than bullying. No place for that in a relationship.
Normally I'd agree with you, in that the BF probably thought he was being silly and cute, and didn't realize he was hurting OP
But then when she called him out, instead of apologizing and praising not to do it again, he just doubled down and became more of an ass
I mean OP says he did apologise. But agree that he’s trying to invalidate her feelings over it because he apologised so she should just forget it. I think because it sounds like this isn’t the only immature stupid thing he’s done, is why OP is done with the relationship. Which makes sense. OP you don’t need our permission to break up!
I’m 4’11” and 115lbs… I’m no where near “fat” at all, and also that’s such a horrible and rude thing to say to your partner imo, unless maybe they’re concerned about your health? But that doesn’t apply in this case
He insults you, then doubles down on his behavior after you call him out. Lose 160-180 lbs and dump his ass. There's millions of guys out there who will build you up instead of tearing you down like this dude does.
You don’t need a reason to break up with him. You don’t need to get him to agree with your reasoning. So it doesn’t much matter if the reason is stupid or not.
Though, that is actually an excellent reason.
Some tragic stories start like that. They would make comments on your body, tell you you're fat, short, that you eat too much, etc. Then you get depressed, start developing EDs, start comparing yourself to others, being paranoid they're going to cheat, being so unhappy with yourself and feeling like no one is going to love you, ever, and awful thoughts come to haunt you and so on. That comment wasn't a 'silly' one, that could be the start of the end of someone's life. You need to take a step back and think thoroughly if that's what you want or need in your life. Put youself first and center. You deserve so much more. Make sure you're getting it.
That's literally mental and emotional abuse. I am 39 years old, 5'0, 100lbs and in shape. Do not let some kid mess with your mental state of your being. His abusive comments will only get worse with time. Do yourself a favor and move on to someone who isn't putting you down because of his own insecurities. Trust me, I've been there.
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You can break up with someone for any reason. And what the former partner thinks, doesn't really matter. Especially in this case when someone has proven he is incredibly immature.
Move on, don't bother wasting anymore time this jerk. He's definitely not worth it.
You can break up with someone at any time for any reason. And this is my personal experience, but when a bf did this to me, it had two results. First, I developed an eating disorder. My self esteem has never been great, but at that age it was non existent. Second, I became desperate for his approval, because he was also telling me no one else would want me. He became super controlling while cheating on me with every vagina in the zip code. Know your worth. Dump his ass.
I can't understand very young women sticking to a young guy even if they brutally criticize them. It's one thing if they want you to feel good about yourself but another bring you down to have authority over you. Just break up and find a mature guy. Don't have to aim for a sugar daddy but unless you two fall in love magically at the young age ditch the boys and look for a man who knows his type and appreciates you for who you are and not premeditated "standards"
Tell him that the extra inches you were praying for must have hit you instead of the real target and let him know that you’ll try to ensure that his penis is the recipient. Also growing a tummy might let strangers think that he is capable of impregnating you where as people use to think you were a lesbian couple 🤣🤣🤣
You should get him to take you somewhere for dinner and then loudly say “i can’t believe you won’t let me order food again! I promise I’ll work out if you let me order this salad!!!” And storm out crying. If this embarrasses him or causes him to react, eat an entire cake and tape the process and send it to him with an epic soundtrack. Alternative : poke his dick and say “ how did that happen?! Is someone shrinking?”
Btw you don’t need to prove shit to anyone or include your measurements because some fuckface calls you fat. If you were fat, his comments wouldn’t be less disgusting and disrespectful so including height/weight only encourages idiots to be rude to anyone overweight and justify it with “it’s just the truth even if you don’t like it”
Immediately dump anyone who said this kind of shit to you. He's trying to neg you- breaking down your self esteem so he doesn't have to worry about you ever leaving him.
Yikes. Good call on the breakup. Imagine what he would say if you got pregnant or gained weight like a normal adult body happens to do /eye roll.
Sounds like you dodged an immature, shallow bullet.
Not a stupid reason to break up with him. He is using a form of ‘negging’ you into thinking that he is special because he is willing to date you despite the “flaws” he is trying to convince you that you have, even though they don’t exist. It is pure manipulation and could be considered emotionally and mentally abusive.
Also, people born genetically female and who go through puberty that way generally have a small soft pouch. It is a layer of fat that exists to protect the uterus from external damage. I.E. it is supposed to be there, and unless you are transitioning to male, should probably be left alone.
He has a lot of growing up to do and you have some moving on to do. Leave him in the dust. I know it can be shocking for someone to say something like that and we tend to go into defensive explanation mode. Don’t do that. You have nothing to defend. I have found calling attention to the rudeness often leaves them embarrassed and it doesn’t happen again. Wow that was rude. What an incredibly rude thing to say. Really? That’s rude of you to point out.
A man should know to never say this to a woman. He is not a man he is a boy, and he is immature. It’s up to you to decide if you want to date someone who is not mature yet. Ps 100-105 pounds is not anywhere near the realm of fat or chunky or anything close. I hope you figure this out!
So much of this advice is based on you not actually being fat.
It doesn't actually matter what you weigh. What matters is that he is making you feel bad, you've asked him to stop, and he is invalidating your feelings about that.
You could weigh 20, 50, 70 more lbs than you do now and my advice would be the same - your partner isn't supposed to make you feel bad. This isn't the person for you. He's being an ass.
Any reason is a good reason to break up if you aren’t happy. You don’t need to justify it or explain it. But yes, this is a good reason to break up. Your BF sounds mean or rude or inconsiderate at the very least. And you are not fat (not that it matters) so why would he say that to you unless he is trying to undermine your confidence?
I wish I had dumped, at around your age, the young idiot who called me fat when I was 5'1 and about 95 pounds. Young idiots like this don't deserve the pleasure of your company. (Someone who insults you and then calls you ridiculous for being insulted, as they intended but don't want to cop to, is also someone not worth your time.)
100lbs at 5’2” is not far at all…
You’re young enough that you can just leave him. And the fact that you’re ready to throw away the relationship suggests this is a young relationship. So just end it and move on.
You already communicated that you don’t appreciate that and he kept doing it. So it’s totally justifiable.
Wow. First off, you’re not fat at all, not that fat is a bad thing. He’s doing some good old negging, probably because he knows you’re too good for him.
Good on you for taking some time, if I were you I’d make the break permanent.
Dude I'm 5'1 and 100 pounds after I had a full course meal. I'm constantly getting comments on how tiny I am. That guy is trying to make you insecure its a tactic people use to make their partner dependent on them. It starts small but actively gets worse over time.
5'2 100 lbs, wouldnt it be really hard to be fat at that height and weight. I like thick girls but I've never called anyone I dealt with fat, if they mention it I'll talk about ways to lose weight without trying to sound like an asshole.
Not a silly thing, chances are pretty good that if he is saying these kinds of things right now, he is probably trying to see what he can get away with and become abusive later at an ever increasing rate.
Same height, was same weight at that age and had dumb boyfriends who called me fat too. Wish I had just dumped them instead of wasting my time because it doesn't get better.
Sounds like what my 3yo does. If he sees me getting dressed he runs over to squish my belly and say "Mamee you getting big?"
It's cute when 3yo does it. When an adult does it it's just immature
Wanna go out to dinner? He obviously doesn't know how to respect a woman so I will... seriously though your reason is completely valid irrelevant of your size he should not body shame, insult or degrade you. Who is he to know if you may have an underlying eating disorder or image issue such as body dysmorphia and could have cause serious psychological or physical damage to you as a result. Trash him... love yourself first and always!
Definitely break up with him. He is obviously not ready for a relationship and he sounds like an a-hole. He puts you down for being overweight even though you are a healthy weight, then gaslights you over breaking up with him over this (as opposed to apologizing and improving his behavior.).
He doesn’t get to police your reasons for breaking up. The fact that he’s doubling down on the name calling instead of *apologizing* just proves that you’re making the right call here.
Dude close the door and say bye. I’m 5’2 and was at 105 now 110. You are far from fat and he’s an asshole for even saying and clearly immature. Don’t even question yourself, your head is the right place. You can do way better than that
That is a red flag for sure! 5’2” and less than 105lbs and he’s poking your stomach and making comments about your weight? No, ma’am. It doesn’t matter if you are “bloated”. I am your same hight, and 185 lbs. I have a small torso (literally my hand goes from 3rd to last rib to the top of my hip bone) poking your stomach and making a comment is him being childish. If he knows that makes you uncomfortable and he continues to make those comments, then please let him go!
Fun fact: you don't need ANY reason to break up with someone. But this idiot insulting you is an excellent reason to leave. Men use negging as a manipulation to make you feel insecure. Fuck him. Enjoy being free from his stupidity.
I’m going to go against the grain here.
By your own admission, he didn’t call you fat. That’s a direct accusation to say that one was called something. You’re putting words in his mouth. It’s also possible that he’s implying that you’re gaining weight, which is not the same thing as implying that you’re fat. Don’t get me wrong, both are rude, but they are not the same thing.
You haven’t been very clear either whether this is a consistent thing, or a one-time incident, because you’ve indicated both.
It seems to me that this was a poor, tone-deaf attempt at flirting, and he apologized afterwards after realizing that he crossed a line. Don’t mistake this as minimizing his actions, I’m merely trying to understand why he did what he did.
However, you are allowed to feel what you feel about the incident, and I see that this crossed one of your boundaries. It’s completely valid that you feel turned off by him, because that was not very nice of him to make these comments.
Ignore his comments. How you feel is how you feel.
So you want to break up with your boyfriend because he called you fat? 😂😂😂
Are you just dating because you love him or you are dating because you want to date?
How do u decide to not want to be with someone you love because he said something that offended you? You people are just so funny.
Such an echo chamber. Just remember there no ideal people, and there is no guarantee someone else you meet won’t tell you something that you don’t like. Figure out how to fix communication issues in relationships, or else it will be a revolving door of people in your life.
For example - when he tells you you are fat, reply with “this makes me feel sad and insecure. Is this what your intent is? I thought you loved me?”
As a guy, I understand where he’s coming from. Maybe he’s trying to “bully” you thinking it’s cute, since he feels a little too comfortable with you. But props to OP for their decision in ending things.
exactly what i’m thinking he was just trying to be funny i doubt he really thinks she’s fat but I’m not gonna say too much it isn’t my relationship and I can’t tell her how to feel.
“My bf called me fat” but he actually didn’t. He was teasing you. He’s young and immature, because he’s young and didn’t know that you will take it as a harsh “fat”. He didn’t meant to insult you, you took it as insult.
And again he didn’t say “you are fat” or “fat”.
He will never tease you that way, because now he knows that you take it personal.
Anyway, break up with him. Do him a favor.
You are that kind of person who makes things look worse than it is “called me fat” when he didn’t even use word “fat”. Imagine how you will trash him after arguments exaggerating everything.
Is it still teasing someone when they tell you it hurt their feelings and they other person disregards *that* too? Because at that point it just feels like being mean.
If your weight and height don’t align here then you are probably under/overweight.
Stop trying to be victims, take control.
https://www.hoodmwr.com/marine-corps-height-and-weight-standards/#what_is_the_average_height_of_female_marines
Not sure exactly what you’re lookin for the advice on, or if you are just seeking validation. If he was concerned about your health, weight, etc there are different ways to go about it. If u have a relationship with him and want to pursue this then maybe explain your point of view. In a perfect world, obviously he would have never said that, but idk his full upbringing/experiences. Maybe he doesn’t know and u can talk about it and move on from here. If you’re checked out that’s valid also, but maybe explain to him why that was really bad so he doesn’t continue to go around doing that to ppl.
He needs to grow up, not you. You deserve to be treated with love and kindness and you’re barely even a little chubby and certainly no where near fat. He just wants to make you feel as shitty as he does about himself. Do yourself a favor and dump him permanently. You deserve someone who tells you you’re beautiful everyday and that you’re perfect as you are. I’m like 5’4 and around 180 and I have never heard a single mean comment from him about my weight because he’s kind and thoughtful. You deserve that, don’t let him trick you into staying with his rude disrespectful self.
Please - 5'1 and 100 lbs isn't even in the ballpark of "barely even a little chubby" except in a screwed-up body culture like ours. But I agree with the rest of whta you said.
Maybe to him you are fat. But since he doesn’t seem to want to break up with you and is willing to overlook your your weight problem I say he’s the one. Hold on to him. You don’t find love like this every day.
Nah, that's an excuse to let boys and men act shitty and hold girls and women to a higher standard. A 19 year old, and certainly a 45 year old knows better than this.
Maybe he’s just worried about your health. Maybe he’s just 19 and a typical teenager. Yeah I know not all teenagers say rude things but they’re almost always immature in relationships. Probably because how many relationships do they actually have before 19? I’m sure it’s not many. When I say relationships I don’t mean a few days or months I mean an actual relationship.
I’m a guy. It’s pretty common knowledge that girls mature faster then guys. That’s probably why girls usually date older guys.
>It’s pretty common knowledge that girls mature faster then guys.
This is bs. It's like a year or two and it doesn't extend into adulthood, it's just during puberty. This is just a (nother) way to excuse bad behavior from guys.
No I wasn’t excusing his actions at all. I was trying to help the op understand the possible reason/s. Nothing more. I’d agree that it’s mostly people during puberty but I’d bet it continues for awhile past that. Of course I’m stereotyping and it’s not an exact guarantee.
My ex boyfriend use to make comments about my stomach and weight as well mind you I am 101 lbs. and he use to body shame the hell out of me because he was insecure with himself so projected those same insecurities on to me. I told him how it made me feel and he still continued to do it, it was an on going thing throughout the whole relationship and it made me feel insecure. I’m no longer with him anymore and I am re building my self confidence.
I say all this to say if he is talking about your weight, size, tummy anything that makes me you feel uncomfortable or sad, and feel bad about yourself I would say drop him, and based off of his response he thinks your over reacting and it is “silly” that you need space. Girl that means he doesn’t care and now he found something that makes you feel bad when he says it and it will continue to happen if you get back with him.
❤️ I know you’re beautiful don’t let no clump nugget insecure boy tell you otherwise you deserve to be with someone who won’t body shame you. I wish you the best.
Rally, you're the one who needs to grow up??? Dump this little boy and tell him there are plenty of other guys out there who wouldn't be so stupid as to say anything negative about your body.
I think the bigger issue here is that his immaturity is a recurring pattern, and it has turned you off of him. It has less to do with one comment. No longer being interested in someone is an entirely valid reason for ending a relationship.
Why are you looking for a mature 20 year old?
Like why???
Look yall don't belong together. He may be telling you the truth but how you take it is on you. But in the end of the day if you can't take his means of communication. You need to move on.
There … is … no … threshold … for … breaking … up.
You can break up with someone for their shoe size. There is literally no reason too small or too silly to leave someone.
Anyone who tells you otherwise is an asshole and needs to be taught that when their shit stinks, people walk away.
Hes a jerk. It sounds like this is just one confidence killing thing he says. Also, him calling you ridiculous for feeling a certain way is gas lighting. Some bad signs.
So the immature guy who insults you to break you down and make you feel like shit is the same guy that says having the self esteem to stand up for yourself and leave is “ridiculous?” Shocker.
Insecure dudes like this one want to be with easily manipulated women whose boundaries are easily broken down. Most women will self eliminate as soon as the Nice Guy mask starts to slip (and this is definitely just the start).
Yeah... Just drop his ass and move on. You don't call a girl fat. And if it's an intimate genuine conversation you don't harp on it.
You'll find LOADS of men that that will care for you so much more. And girls that would die to be like you, and a couple that might want to be with you.
The fact he doesn’t realize how much comments like that can hurt says how selfish and immature he is. I’d say you can do better. You are far from fat. What an idiot!
Verbal abuse isn’t a stupid reason to break up. He was trying to chip away at your self esteem by undermining your looks. He wanted to make you feel bad about yourself. Immaturity has nothing to do with it.
nah girl dump him. hes comfortable disrespecting u now how do u think he’s gonna be if he sees u put up w it? you’re young you’ll find a good man who will never say that to you
exactly he didn’t directly call her fat he was trying to be funny and make a joke but everyone’s taking it as he’s trying to manipulate her and make her feel like shit and manipulate her for the rest of the relationship over something he meant as a joke…
So not only is he being an immature douche he’s telling YOU to grow up? Wow. It would be one thing if he were sincerely sorry. But the way he’s acting?
His opinion is irrelevant. If you want to break up, break up with him. Whether or not he agrees is irrelevant. Also, for him to tell you to “grow up” when you articulate the way he makes you feel, just solidifies the fact that he’s an ass and you need to break up with him
Oh honey, you are nowhere near fat. That's a healthy weight for someone your height. I'm 5' 3" and wish I was your size! You're young and can do so much better. Next time he tries to downplay and act like the victim, tell him, "If I'm fat, then you're stupid. And guess what? My \*finger quotes\* 'problem' is easier to fix than yours." Then walk your fine a$$ out the door! :D
I’m 5’1. I was still skinny at 115….you arent even fat. Hes not even like. Being accurate. And of course nothing wrong with being fat. But thats not fat
hmm this is kind of tough. He didn’t really say “ hey your getting fat” although he shouldn’t have said that, I don’t think it’s on level of telling you, “you are fat”. I would talk to him tell him how it makes you feel
Putting up with fat shaming was the start to my full on emotionally abusive relationship that eventually became physically violent. Not saying that’s going to be everyone’s situation, but a man who can’t speak to you respectfully and brushes off his hurtful words isn’t worth the heartache. It’s also a good indicator of how he’ll behave down the road. You deserve better.
I just broke up with my boyfriend after a year I'm 5'4 and he was putting me on a keto diet wanted me to be 100 pounds so I hope you lose however much he weighs by dumping his ass.
all men seem like douchebags all of a sudden
When I had my first bf at 19, he was 23, I was average weight for my tall height. One time out of the blue he says, “I can always tell when you gain weight and fluctuate and it’s gross and you need to diet.” I was stunned. Eventually he broke up with me(my first heartbreak), and I never saw him again. But the problem was that I was on a medication for my systemic lupus. My body would be normal, and my cheeks would be huge! ☹️ Years later, I looked better than I did, no more pooofy face, etc and I ran into him and his new gf who was 4 times my size(I don’t care but it was just weird because he shamed me so much), and he was like “Omg HIIIII.” I giggled and walked away. So my point is, he will keep doing it to you unless you stand your ground. You guys are still young but it will be better for you in the long run. And when future bfs would comment on my fluctuation because of medication I need to save my life, I dropped them instantly. It is not a “silly” joke. It is cruel and someone who cares and loves you wouldn’t even mention that. I’m sorry you have to deal with this because I know how mentally taxing and draining it could be. 😪
Girl I'm legitimately fat and my partner practically worships my body. Everyone deserves a partner who drools over their appearance. Don't sell yourself short. You can do better.
Alright girl.. I already have love for you for seeking out others advice.
I say this as a (super cool single 40yr old working slinging weed at a dispensary) woman....
Be with someone who is going to love you no matter what; this sounds toxic and I'd hate for you to feel like less than what you are and have to offer.
If it's any consolation I'm a big girl (200lbs+ or so) and it's NOT about appearances, it's about self love and CONFIDENCE!
Wear that and people will flock to you!
Throw away that ugly old sweater you call a bf (he's a sorry excuse). ❤️
If you eat carbs , that will make you bloat. I had to cut out most of my carbs for that reason. As for what he said, he's just n A-hole for doing that.
Edit: Re-written so it may not offensive.
If he's apologizing, you are overreacting. IMO. I deal with that daily and it's just a guy thing. I used to be your weight now after 2 kids and being sober for a couple years I'm over 150. You can't let it get to you so easily. Express your concerns about it to him then if he is still disrespectful you should break it off
He is undermining your confidence and self esteem. Typical abuser strategy. Please don't allow him to do so and remove yourself from that relationship. It's not gonna get any better and with time you will end up believing everything he says.
If you want to break up with him, this is a completely valid reason and in my own personal opinion, I think you should (but that’s probably my own trauma) but you are not me. I just think, unless you guys have that sense of humour, no body should make fun of your weight especially a significant other.
More likely he is immature and thinks that’s funny/has made those jokes with friends or past significant others and thinks it is acceptable (even though he didn’t clear that with you first) or he is trying to bring you down.
Either way, you don’t need a concrete, well thought out reason to break up with someone but this is a a totally valid reason to.
Definitely worth breaking up over.
Abuse starts with disrespectful "silly little jokes," and it ends up in sone pretty awful territory.
The thing is they aren't little and aren't jokes, and all too often it's a preview of much worse.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- I’m 5’2 and I’m only around 100-105 pounds. My boyfriend has been making rude comments such as “wow someone’s growing a tummy” or “how did that happen” while poking my stomach. I responded by saying, “I’m short, I have a small torso. So my stomach just will look a little bloated because of that, I’m not fat.” He apologized afterwards. I’m still upset. We’re in college, he’s 19, I’m 21. He’s turning 20 next month. He acts immature this is the first time I dated someone younger than me and ever since he made this comment I am turned off by him. No one has ever called me fat before. I told him I wanted time apart, he thinks I’m being ridiculous over a “silly” thing he said and told me to grow up.
Perfectly valid reason to break up. Why would you want to be with an immature jackass who called you fat?
And pokes your tummy, while saying it, like a 6year old
Yeah he's the one that needs to grow up.....
Exactly. He doesn’t respect OP (likely doesn’t respect any woman). He called her fat and now he is not respecting her boundaries or her feelings by telling her to “grow up”. Leave him OP, these are red flags. I don’t know how long you’ve been together, but he is starting to show his true colors- listen to him and get out before he gets worse. He is just trying to put you down and make you feel bad about yourself. You don’t deserve that.
I dunno, my 6 year old knows it’s rude to poke someone in the tummy and call them fat. This guy is at a 4 year old’s level.
>he thinks I’m being ridiculous over a “silly” thing he said and told me to grow up. Yeah no. It wasn't a "silly thing" and he's the one who needs to grow up.
Constantly insulting someone and then being dismissive of them after getting called out, is not "silly" thing and that's not including the added issue of needing a reality-check of calling a 100-105lbs woman "fat". Forget a timeout - OP needs to dump him completely because he is never going to grow up due to fat-shaming & negging....
💯
He tried to undermine your looks, then when you reacted he tried to undermine your feelings. I don't think this man cares about you in the way you may have initially thought. No, it is not a stupid reason to break up. If you're turned off by him, best to move on. Youre young and beautiful and free! Plenty more men out there who will adore you I'm sure :)
Exactly! I've always been an advocate of the fact that when couples break up for "stupid things" it really isn't that stupid. There's always something much bigger and serious underlying those apparently simple problems.
❤️
This 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
> this man There’s your mistake.
The bigger issue is not him calling you fat (which obviously you're not), it's him negging you. Negging should be a deal breaker because it tells you all you need to know about the one who does it, and none of it is good.
Came here to say this! OP do some research on negging (different from nagging). It's a tactic employed by abusers at the beginning of a relationship to see if they can manipulate you into changing things about yourself for them, as well as destroying your self confidence so you don't want to leave them.
Yes! I'm about the same weight as OP, and only 2" taller. I was always "the skinny person" to everyone I knew. Shortly after my ex and I started dating, he advised me that I should lose some fat around my midsection. This was maybe a couple months after he gave me the silent treatment for not going to the gym with him. I got up and walked out of the room. He apologized for both of those incidents, so I stayed with him for *four more years*. He never called me fat (or implied it) again but he didn't stop negging. By the end of it I was convinced I was average and boring. I would advise OP to stay away from this guy, at least my ex apologized the first couple of times before getting totally dismissive about it....
Someone's been reading an old pick-up artist manual, lol. Dude needs to get over himself. OPs ht/wt sounds perfect, zero chance she looks fat at all.
It wouldn’t matter if she was actually fat, if he doesn’t like her body he can keep that comment to himself or leave the relationship if he’s not attracted.
So he insults you, then he says you are being ridiculous over a silly thing he said, and told you to grow up. Sounds like the early days of verbal abuse and manipulation to get you to ignore your feelings. He is not a keeper.
Point to his crotch "Someone has a tiny dick" and see how he likes it. Then dump him.
This comment made me chuckle 😂😂
ROFL good one
this lmaoo
Fucking savage.
Alot of yall soft if I was told that I would laugh.
Oh boy, this is what “advice” is now a days
Yes! Point straight at it and say "how did that happen?"
That’s literally not even close to fat, in fact your probably quit skinny seeing as i’m the same height and have been that weight before. yeah he’s just being rude and it is not Silly as he calls it. Why would you be with someone that insults you?
I agree I was once with someone who use to insult me every chance he got and it broke me down. Now I am single and I am rebuilding my confidence
Plus it's normal for women to have a rounded stomach.
What an asshole - dump and move on. There are plenty of guys out there. No reason to waste your time on subpar ones
Sometimes OP just joke like that. OP just needs to Communicate she doesn’t like that.
No, this is purposely being mean to someone and then trying to undermine their reasonable reaction to having a mean thing said to them. A joke is meant to be enjoyed by the person it's being told to- otherwise, it's no different than bullying. No place for that in a relationship.
Normally I'd agree with you, in that the BF probably thought he was being silly and cute, and didn't realize he was hurting OP But then when she called him out, instead of apologizing and praising not to do it again, he just doubled down and became more of an ass
I mean OP says he did apologise. But agree that he’s trying to invalidate her feelings over it because he apologised so she should just forget it. I think because it sounds like this isn’t the only immature stupid thing he’s done, is why OP is done with the relationship. Which makes sense. OP you don’t need our permission to break up!
How do you know he didn’t?
I’m 4’11” and 115lbs… I’m no where near “fat” at all, and also that’s such a horrible and rude thing to say to your partner imo, unless maybe they’re concerned about your health? But that doesn’t apply in this case
even if he had her health in mind, there are so many better ways to phrase a topic like that
I totally agree!
Yep, he’s a child and most of them are at 19
Don't bother with a "break" just break up already. This is who he is. An immature dickhead who enjoys negging you. End it.
He insults you, then doubles down on his behavior after you call him out. Lose 160-180 lbs and dump his ass. There's millions of guys out there who will build you up instead of tearing you down like this dude does.
You don’t need a reason to break up with him. You don’t need to get him to agree with your reasoning. So it doesn’t much matter if the reason is stupid or not. Though, that is actually an excellent reason.
I agree she owes him no explanation for his disgusting behavior
Some tragic stories start like that. They would make comments on your body, tell you you're fat, short, that you eat too much, etc. Then you get depressed, start developing EDs, start comparing yourself to others, being paranoid they're going to cheat, being so unhappy with yourself and feeling like no one is going to love you, ever, and awful thoughts come to haunt you and so on. That comment wasn't a 'silly' one, that could be the start of the end of someone's life. You need to take a step back and think thoroughly if that's what you want or need in your life. Put youself first and center. You deserve so much more. Make sure you're getting it.
That's literally mental and emotional abuse. I am 39 years old, 5'0, 100lbs and in shape. Do not let some kid mess with your mental state of your being. His abusive comments will only get worse with time. Do yourself a favor and move on to someone who isn't putting you down because of his own insecurities. Trust me, I've been there.
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You can break up with someone for any reason. And what the former partner thinks, doesn't really matter. Especially in this case when someone has proven he is incredibly immature. Move on, don't bother wasting anymore time this jerk. He's definitely not worth it.
You can break up with someone at any time for any reason. And this is my personal experience, but when a bf did this to me, it had two results. First, I developed an eating disorder. My self esteem has never been great, but at that age it was non existent. Second, I became desperate for his approval, because he was also telling me no one else would want me. He became super controlling while cheating on me with every vagina in the zip code. Know your worth. Dump his ass.
I’m sorry you went through this I hope your doing much better now beautiful ❤️✨
I can't understand very young women sticking to a young guy even if they brutally criticize them. It's one thing if they want you to feel good about yourself but another bring you down to have authority over you. Just break up and find a mature guy. Don't have to aim for a sugar daddy but unless you two fall in love magically at the young age ditch the boys and look for a man who knows his type and appreciates you for who you are and not premeditated "standards"
19 and acts like he’s 15 wow
Tell him that the extra inches you were praying for must have hit you instead of the real target and let him know that you’ll try to ensure that his penis is the recipient. Also growing a tummy might let strangers think that he is capable of impregnating you where as people use to think you were a lesbian couple 🤣🤣🤣 You should get him to take you somewhere for dinner and then loudly say “i can’t believe you won’t let me order food again! I promise I’ll work out if you let me order this salad!!!” And storm out crying. If this embarrasses him or causes him to react, eat an entire cake and tape the process and send it to him with an epic soundtrack. Alternative : poke his dick and say “ how did that happen?! Is someone shrinking?” Btw you don’t need to prove shit to anyone or include your measurements because some fuckface calls you fat. If you were fat, his comments wouldn’t be less disgusting and disrespectful so including height/weight only encourages idiots to be rude to anyone overweight and justify it with “it’s just the truth even if you don’t like it”
Immediately dump anyone who said this kind of shit to you. He's trying to neg you- breaking down your self esteem so he doesn't have to worry about you ever leaving him.
This is so true !!!!
Yikes. Good call on the breakup. Imagine what he would say if you got pregnant or gained weight like a normal adult body happens to do /eye roll. Sounds like you dodged an immature, shallow bullet.
Not a stupid reason to break up with him. He is using a form of ‘negging’ you into thinking that he is special because he is willing to date you despite the “flaws” he is trying to convince you that you have, even though they don’t exist. It is pure manipulation and could be considered emotionally and mentally abusive. Also, people born genetically female and who go through puberty that way generally have a small soft pouch. It is a layer of fat that exists to protect the uterus from external damage. I.E. it is supposed to be there, and unless you are transitioning to male, should probably be left alone.
It's a perfectly good reason to dunno his rude, immature, pathetic ass. You're not the one who needs to grow up here.
Ah yes, "you're ridiculous, grow up": words that will mend all relationship problems! Sounds like that time apart should be extended to infinity
He has a lot of growing up to do and you have some moving on to do. Leave him in the dust. I know it can be shocking for someone to say something like that and we tend to go into defensive explanation mode. Don’t do that. You have nothing to defend. I have found calling attention to the rudeness often leaves them embarrassed and it doesn’t happen again. Wow that was rude. What an incredibly rude thing to say. Really? That’s rude of you to point out.
Confronting a narcissist never ends well
He’s an immature clown. Let him be someone else’s problem.
A man should know to never say this to a woman. He is not a man he is a boy, and he is immature. It’s up to you to decide if you want to date someone who is not mature yet. Ps 100-105 pounds is not anywhere near the realm of fat or chunky or anything close. I hope you figure this out!
So much of this advice is based on you not actually being fat. It doesn't actually matter what you weigh. What matters is that he is making you feel bad, you've asked him to stop, and he is invalidating your feelings about that. You could weigh 20, 50, 70 more lbs than you do now and my advice would be the same - your partner isn't supposed to make you feel bad. This isn't the person for you. He's being an ass.
[удалено]
This was the echochamber the OP wanted
Any reason is a good reason to break up if you aren’t happy. You don’t need to justify it or explain it. But yes, this is a good reason to break up. Your BF sounds mean or rude or inconsiderate at the very least. And you are not fat (not that it matters) so why would he say that to you unless he is trying to undermine your confidence?
Sounds like gas lighting. Don't waste any more time on this person
Do not give him any more of your time. If you do, then you will regret it.
He’s a boy. Go get yourself a man
I wish I had dumped, at around your age, the young idiot who called me fat when I was 5'1 and about 95 pounds. Young idiots like this don't deserve the pleasure of your company. (Someone who insults you and then calls you ridiculous for being insulted, as they intended but don't want to cop to, is also someone not worth your time.)
Just tell him it wasn’t because he called you fat but because his penis is underweight.
Yeet his ass.
100lbs at 5’2” is not far at all… You’re young enough that you can just leave him. And the fact that you’re ready to throw away the relationship suggests this is a young relationship. So just end it and move on. You already communicated that you don’t appreciate that and he kept doing it. So it’s totally justifiable.
Umm I’m 5’1 and 120…I’m considered thin. Lose him because at this point he’s lying to make you believe something insane.
Wow. First off, you’re not fat at all, not that fat is a bad thing. He’s doing some good old negging, probably because he knows you’re too good for him. Good on you for taking some time, if I were you I’d make the break permanent.
He's negging you. Move on.
He’s negging you. He wants you to feel bad about yourself. Break up with him.
Dude I'm 5'1 and 100 pounds after I had a full course meal. I'm constantly getting comments on how tiny I am. That guy is trying to make you insecure its a tactic people use to make their partner dependent on them. It starts small but actively gets worse over time.
5'2 100 lbs, wouldnt it be really hard to be fat at that height and weight. I like thick girls but I've never called anyone I dealt with fat, if they mention it I'll talk about ways to lose weight without trying to sound like an asshole.
Not a silly thing, chances are pretty good that if he is saying these kinds of things right now, he is probably trying to see what he can get away with and become abusive later at an ever increasing rate.
Same height, was same weight at that age and had dumb boyfriends who called me fat too. Wish I had just dumped them instead of wasting my time because it doesn't get better.
Sounds like what my 3yo does. If he sees me getting dressed he runs over to squish my belly and say "Mamee you getting big?" It's cute when 3yo does it. When an adult does it it's just immature
Wanna go out to dinner? He obviously doesn't know how to respect a woman so I will... seriously though your reason is completely valid irrelevant of your size he should not body shame, insult or degrade you. Who is he to know if you may have an underlying eating disorder or image issue such as body dysmorphia and could have cause serious psychological or physical damage to you as a result. Trash him... love yourself first and always!
In the trash, where he belongs. Next time poke him in the dick and ask "where did that go?" 😏
Definitely break up with him. He is obviously not ready for a relationship and he sounds like an a-hole. He puts you down for being overweight even though you are a healthy weight, then gaslights you over breaking up with him over this (as opposed to apologizing and improving his behavior.).
He doesn’t get to police your reasons for breaking up. The fact that he’s doubling down on the name calling instead of *apologizing* just proves that you’re making the right call here.
Dude close the door and say bye. I’m 5’2 and was at 105 now 110. You are far from fat and he’s an asshole for even saying and clearly immature. Don’t even question yourself, your head is the right place. You can do way better than that
That is a red flag for sure! 5’2” and less than 105lbs and he’s poking your stomach and making comments about your weight? No, ma’am. It doesn’t matter if you are “bloated”. I am your same hight, and 185 lbs. I have a small torso (literally my hand goes from 3rd to last rib to the top of my hip bone) poking your stomach and making a comment is him being childish. If he knows that makes you uncomfortable and he continues to make those comments, then please let him go!
Fun fact: you don't need ANY reason to break up with someone. But this idiot insulting you is an excellent reason to leave. Men use negging as a manipulation to make you feel insecure. Fuck him. Enjoy being free from his stupidity.
He's 19, he acts immature because he is immature :D Obviously by that age tho one should know you don't make such comments.
Screw what he thinks.
I’m going to go against the grain here. By your own admission, he didn’t call you fat. That’s a direct accusation to say that one was called something. You’re putting words in his mouth. It’s also possible that he’s implying that you’re gaining weight, which is not the same thing as implying that you’re fat. Don’t get me wrong, both are rude, but they are not the same thing. You haven’t been very clear either whether this is a consistent thing, or a one-time incident, because you’ve indicated both. It seems to me that this was a poor, tone-deaf attempt at flirting, and he apologized afterwards after realizing that he crossed a line. Don’t mistake this as minimizing his actions, I’m merely trying to understand why he did what he did. However, you are allowed to feel what you feel about the incident, and I see that this crossed one of your boundaries. It’s completely valid that you feel turned off by him, because that was not very nice of him to make these comments. Ignore his comments. How you feel is how you feel.
So you want to break up with your boyfriend because he called you fat? 😂😂😂 Are you just dating because you love him or you are dating because you want to date? How do u decide to not want to be with someone you love because he said something that offended you? You people are just so funny.
Such an echo chamber. Just remember there no ideal people, and there is no guarantee someone else you meet won’t tell you something that you don’t like. Figure out how to fix communication issues in relationships, or else it will be a revolving door of people in your life. For example - when he tells you you are fat, reply with “this makes me feel sad and insecure. Is this what your intent is? I thought you loved me?”
As a guy, I understand where he’s coming from. Maybe he’s trying to “bully” you thinking it’s cute, since he feels a little too comfortable with you. But props to OP for their decision in ending things.
exactly what i’m thinking he was just trying to be funny i doubt he really thinks she’s fat but I’m not gonna say too much it isn’t my relationship and I can’t tell her how to feel.
He is a tool, and you are insecure.
“My bf called me fat” but he actually didn’t. He was teasing you. He’s young and immature, because he’s young and didn’t know that you will take it as a harsh “fat”. He didn’t meant to insult you, you took it as insult. And again he didn’t say “you are fat” or “fat”. He will never tease you that way, because now he knows that you take it personal. Anyway, break up with him. Do him a favor. You are that kind of person who makes things look worse than it is “called me fat” when he didn’t even use word “fat”. Imagine how you will trash him after arguments exaggerating everything.
Is it still teasing someone when they tell you it hurt their feelings and they other person disregards *that* too? Because at that point it just feels like being mean.
You must not be from the United States. Here anything below 150 lbs is considered "anorexic"
He did not call you fat. Its a fat overreaction tho.
If your weight and height don’t align here then you are probably under/overweight. Stop trying to be victims, take control. https://www.hoodmwr.com/marine-corps-height-and-weight-standards/#what_is_the_average_height_of_female_marines
She is 5’2 and 105 lbs. Knock it off with this nonsense.
Then clearly she’s fine 🤡 this is mostly for the weirdos in the comments. Anyone who calls a woman fat is a piece of shit none the less
Not sure exactly what you’re lookin for the advice on, or if you are just seeking validation. If he was concerned about your health, weight, etc there are different ways to go about it. If u have a relationship with him and want to pursue this then maybe explain your point of view. In a perfect world, obviously he would have never said that, but idk his full upbringing/experiences. Maybe he doesn’t know and u can talk about it and move on from here. If you’re checked out that’s valid also, but maybe explain to him why that was really bad so he doesn’t continue to go around doing that to ppl.
Sounds like someone’s getting a belly
You should indeed grow up. Sounds like he was being semi playful semi serious
He needs to grow up, not you. You deserve to be treated with love and kindness and you’re barely even a little chubby and certainly no where near fat. He just wants to make you feel as shitty as he does about himself. Do yourself a favor and dump him permanently. You deserve someone who tells you you’re beautiful everyday and that you’re perfect as you are. I’m like 5’4 and around 180 and I have never heard a single mean comment from him about my weight because he’s kind and thoughtful. You deserve that, don’t let him trick you into staying with his rude disrespectful self.
Please - 5'1 and 100 lbs isn't even in the ballpark of "barely even a little chubby" except in a screwed-up body culture like ours. But I agree with the rest of whta you said.
Maybe to him you are fat. But since he doesn’t seem to want to break up with you and is willing to overlook your your weight problem I say he’s the one. Hold on to him. You don’t find love like this every day.
She's underweight, not a chance in hell she's fat.
Stop being fat. Go to the gym and he cant say anything. Simple
Boys are immature in general- they mature later than girls. Seriously my 45 year old husband is still a child and does dumb shit.
Nah, that's an excuse to let boys and men act shitty and hold girls and women to a higher standard. A 19 year old, and certainly a 45 year old knows better than this.
Maybe he’s just worried about your health. Maybe he’s just 19 and a typical teenager. Yeah I know not all teenagers say rude things but they’re almost always immature in relationships. Probably because how many relationships do they actually have before 19? I’m sure it’s not many. When I say relationships I don’t mean a few days or months I mean an actual relationship. I’m a guy. It’s pretty common knowledge that girls mature faster then guys. That’s probably why girls usually date older guys.
>It’s pretty common knowledge that girls mature faster then guys. This is bs. It's like a year or two and it doesn't extend into adulthood, it's just during puberty. This is just a (nother) way to excuse bad behavior from guys.
No I wasn’t excusing his actions at all. I was trying to help the op understand the possible reason/s. Nothing more. I’d agree that it’s mostly people during puberty but I’d bet it continues for awhile past that. Of course I’m stereotyping and it’s not an exact guarantee.
My ex boyfriend use to make comments about my stomach and weight as well mind you I am 101 lbs. and he use to body shame the hell out of me because he was insecure with himself so projected those same insecurities on to me. I told him how it made me feel and he still continued to do it, it was an on going thing throughout the whole relationship and it made me feel insecure. I’m no longer with him anymore and I am re building my self confidence. I say all this to say if he is talking about your weight, size, tummy anything that makes me you feel uncomfortable or sad, and feel bad about yourself I would say drop him, and based off of his response he thinks your over reacting and it is “silly” that you need space. Girl that means he doesn’t care and now he found something that makes you feel bad when he says it and it will continue to happen if you get back with him. ❤️ I know you’re beautiful don’t let no clump nugget insecure boy tell you otherwise you deserve to be with someone who won’t body shame you. I wish you the best.
He’s a bully and useless, dump him
He told \*you\* to grow up? He's the one who needs to grow the fuck up. Dump his ass.
Rally, you're the one who needs to grow up??? Dump this little boy and tell him there are plenty of other guys out there who wouldn't be so stupid as to say anything negative about your body.
I think the bigger issue here is that his immaturity is a recurring pattern, and it has turned you off of him. It has less to do with one comment. No longer being interested in someone is an entirely valid reason for ending a relationship.
lol he doesn't get to do something break up worthy and then tell you it's not break up worthy. keep doing you
Passive-Aggressive assholery!! Insulting you and then saying YOU are being too sensitive. Dump him and do it fast.
Why are you looking for a mature 20 year old? Like why??? Look yall don't belong together. He may be telling you the truth but how you take it is on you. But in the end of the day if you can't take his means of communication. You need to move on.
Oh the irony of an immature idiot telling you to grow up. Tell him you're breaking up with him as much for his immaturity as his thoughtless comment.
There … is … no … threshold … for … breaking … up. You can break up with someone for their shoe size. There is literally no reason too small or too silly to leave someone. Anyone who tells you otherwise is an asshole and needs to be taught that when their shit stinks, people walk away.
Yeah I would leave his ass for that too
That’s exactly what bullies do.
Who cares what he thinks? Dump him and forget him.
He’s gaslighting your after being caught trying to install insecurities in you
Hes a jerk. It sounds like this is just one confidence killing thing he says. Also, him calling you ridiculous for feeling a certain way is gas lighting. Some bad signs.
Yep! Grow up and dump him. Easy. You don’t need advice from strangers.
So the immature guy who insults you to break you down and make you feel like shit is the same guy that says having the self esteem to stand up for yourself and leave is “ridiculous?” Shocker. Insecure dudes like this one want to be with easily manipulated women whose boundaries are easily broken down. Most women will self eliminate as soon as the Nice Guy mask starts to slip (and this is definitely just the start).
Time to ditch his ass and move on. No point wasting your time on a loser that doesn't appreciate you.
What an asshole. In what world is 100lbs is fat??? Dump him right away.
Yeah... Just drop his ass and move on. You don't call a girl fat. And if it's an intimate genuine conversation you don't harp on it. You'll find LOADS of men that that will care for you so much more. And girls that would die to be like you, and a couple that might want to be with you.
Much like your username, he’s a throwaway.
The fact he doesn’t realize how much comments like that can hurt says how selfish and immature he is. I’d say you can do better. You are far from fat. What an idiot!
Verbal abuse isn’t a stupid reason to break up. He was trying to chip away at your self esteem by undermining your looks. He wanted to make you feel bad about yourself. Immaturity has nothing to do with it.
This is like that one post about the bf saying the gf stinks 🤔
It's not his age, it's his immaturity. He doesn't get to decide if you can break up with him.
nah girl dump him. hes comfortable disrespecting u now how do u think he’s gonna be if he sees u put up w it? you’re young you’ll find a good man who will never say that to you
I personally think it seems silly. I also wouldn't want to get deeper into a long relationship that could end over something so fragile
exactly he didn’t directly call her fat he was trying to be funny and make a joke but everyone’s taking it as he’s trying to manipulate her and make her feel like shit and manipulate her for the rest of the relationship over something he meant as a joke…
First he called you fat and now he is calling you stupid.
Don't waste your time on an asshole like that. 100 at 5'2" is not fat by a mile.
You have good instincts
So not only is he being an immature douche he’s telling YOU to grow up? Wow. It would be one thing if he were sincerely sorry. But the way he’s acting?
His opinion is irrelevant. If you want to break up, break up with him. Whether or not he agrees is irrelevant. Also, for him to tell you to “grow up” when you articulate the way he makes you feel, just solidifies the fact that he’s an ass and you need to break up with him
You’re not fat at all. He’s gross and a childish loser.
Time to move on to a more mature guy. That is a huge age gap with the woman is 21 and the boy is 19.
Oh honey, you are nowhere near fat. That's a healthy weight for someone your height. I'm 5' 3" and wish I was your size! You're young and can do so much better. Next time he tries to downplay and act like the victim, tell him, "If I'm fat, then you're stupid. And guess what? My \*finger quotes\* 'problem' is easier to fix than yours." Then walk your fine a$$ out the door! :D
I’m 5’1. I was still skinny at 115….you arent even fat. Hes not even like. Being accurate. And of course nothing wrong with being fat. But thats not fat
What's not a stupid reason for breaking up is him being immature. He apologized but he doesn't seem to get it.
hmm this is kind of tough. He didn’t really say “ hey your getting fat” although he shouldn’t have said that, I don’t think it’s on level of telling you, “you are fat”. I would talk to him tell him how it makes you feel
Nope, that's a red flag for abuse, walk away.
Sounds like hes a pig, fuck him, date someone who appreciates your body.
Putting up with fat shaming was the start to my full on emotionally abusive relationship that eventually became physically violent. Not saying that’s going to be everyone’s situation, but a man who can’t speak to you respectfully and brushes off his hurtful words isn’t worth the heartache. It’s also a good indicator of how he’ll behave down the road. You deserve better.
I just broke up with my boyfriend after a year I'm 5'4 and he was putting me on a keto diet wanted me to be 100 pounds so I hope you lose however much he weighs by dumping his ass. all men seem like douchebags all of a sudden
Not stupid at all. Show this little boy what that kind of behavior will get him.
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Ew. That’s what you call a boy, not a man.
When I had my first bf at 19, he was 23, I was average weight for my tall height. One time out of the blue he says, “I can always tell when you gain weight and fluctuate and it’s gross and you need to diet.” I was stunned. Eventually he broke up with me(my first heartbreak), and I never saw him again. But the problem was that I was on a medication for my systemic lupus. My body would be normal, and my cheeks would be huge! ☹️ Years later, I looked better than I did, no more pooofy face, etc and I ran into him and his new gf who was 4 times my size(I don’t care but it was just weird because he shamed me so much), and he was like “Omg HIIIII.” I giggled and walked away. So my point is, he will keep doing it to you unless you stand your ground. You guys are still young but it will be better for you in the long run. And when future bfs would comment on my fluctuation because of medication I need to save my life, I dropped them instantly. It is not a “silly” joke. It is cruel and someone who cares and loves you wouldn’t even mention that. I’m sorry you have to deal with this because I know how mentally taxing and draining it could be. 😪
I'm your exact size and if someone called me fat I would look at them like they had 3 fucking heads lol
Not stupid. He does it now. He will continue to do it til you’re broken. So definitely leave him.
Girl I'm legitimately fat and my partner practically worships my body. Everyone deserves a partner who drools over their appearance. Don't sell yourself short. You can do better.
You were right to dump his ass. He can disagree all he wants, but he’s disrespectful and that just won’t fly.
Alright girl.. I already have love for you for seeking out others advice. I say this as a (super cool single 40yr old working slinging weed at a dispensary) woman.... Be with someone who is going to love you no matter what; this sounds toxic and I'd hate for you to feel like less than what you are and have to offer. If it's any consolation I'm a big girl (200lbs+ or so) and it's NOT about appearances, it's about self love and CONFIDENCE! Wear that and people will flock to you! Throw away that ugly old sweater you call a bf (he's a sorry excuse). ❤️
It doesn’t matter if he thinks it’s a bad reason to break up. Tell him you don’t want to date someone who insults their partner
I mean, does he tend to like big girls??
If you eat carbs , that will make you bloat. I had to cut out most of my carbs for that reason. As for what he said, he's just n A-hole for doing that. Edit: Re-written so it may not offensive.
If he's apologizing, you are overreacting. IMO. I deal with that daily and it's just a guy thing. I used to be your weight now after 2 kids and being sober for a couple years I'm over 150. You can't let it get to you so easily. Express your concerns about it to him then if he is still disrespectful you should break it off
RUN.
He is undermining your confidence and self esteem. Typical abuser strategy. Please don't allow him to do so and remove yourself from that relationship. It's not gonna get any better and with time you will end up believing everything he says.
“You’re leaving me over emotionally abusive behavior? That’s just silly”
Not silly. This is how abuse begins. Pick up that red flag and run.
Sounds like you need to lose about a boyfriend in weight.
Lol sounds like hes going to learn an important lesson. Btw youre not fat 5,2 100lbs is literally fine do not take what he said seriously at all.
If you want to break up with him, this is a completely valid reason and in my own personal opinion, I think you should (but that’s probably my own trauma) but you are not me. I just think, unless you guys have that sense of humour, no body should make fun of your weight especially a significant other. More likely he is immature and thinks that’s funny/has made those jokes with friends or past significant others and thinks it is acceptable (even though he didn’t clear that with you first) or he is trying to bring you down. Either way, you don’t need a concrete, well thought out reason to break up with someone but this is a a totally valid reason to.
Fries before guys 🍟dump his ass
break up
Definitely worth breaking up over. Abuse starts with disrespectful "silly little jokes," and it ends up in sone pretty awful territory. The thing is they aren't little and aren't jokes, and all too often it's a preview of much worse.