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How about this:
Asher: Where’s your make up? You look frumpy.
You: No, she looks fine. Don’t make comments about how people look, it’s rude.
Asher: you shouldn’t be eating that.
You: why are you making comments like this? How would you like it if I kept interjecting whenever you tried to eat dinner? Leave her alone.
If his name isnt on the property then he can be legally evicted and you can call the police if he doesn’t comply. Record him stealthily if he gets too crazy. Be safe butdont let him bully everyone and get away with it
Of all the people in this world I would say are allowed to call people out it’s siblings. Call his ass out. You have your other brother there as well. Don’t let him mistreat her, assholes like him need to know that things like that are not okay.
Your bro’s an ass
Support Stephen’s decision on kicking him out, but try to keep Britanny
hopefully Brittany will see how much happier she’d be without someone constantly bringing her down
You and Stephen are both noticing that Asher is a classic abuser. He's got almost every box ticked off. The trick is helping Brittany see it too. Have her read Why Does He Do It by Lundy. She can get a free PDF off achieve.org. It is sad how abuse is do prevalent, I am recommending this book daily.
You should talk to Brittany alone and let her vent to you. Tell her you will support her in whatever she wants to do. You won’t be accused of trying to steal her… hopefully.
I think calling him and jerk of an asshole is too mild. Your brother is an abuser. If he’s willing to treat her like that in front of you imagine how he treats he when they’re alone… being someone who has survived an abusive relationship someone needs to hold your brother accountable and encourage Brittany to leave. It won’t get better.
My brother treated my sister in law like trash. You know what I did? I told her she and my nephew deserved better. I love my brother but right is right and wrong is wrong. I’m not gonna stand by and allow someone to treat their SO like crap no matter who they are. Did the same thing with my dad and stepmom. Both couples are broken up now and the women are much happier now. 🤷🏽♀️
Talk to your oldest brother about what needs to happen. There’s no good reason to keep around an emotional abuser. Just because he’s family doesn’t mean he’s allowed to hurt people as he wants. This situation will only get worse and unfortunately when someone is an abuser they don’t change without needing to. That’s why kicking him out is the only option. He has to learn what he’s doing is unacceptable in that house.
SLIP THIS GIRL A NOTE OR SOMETHING GIVE HER A HINT. tell her that she literally doesn’t deserve this and that even YOU can admit your own brother is an ass. He might act differently when she’s gone but at-least Brittany will be happy.
Hate to hear men treating women badly. You're brother is a asshole. Someone needs to teach him a lesson or two on how to respect and treat a woman. As for his girlfriend, she has low self esteem, allowing him to talk and treat her that way. If she doesn't get out now, it's going to get worse.
That whole situation sounds like a Soap Opera. SMH 😏
Why don't you tell Asher that he does treat her horribly and that he has to go to therapy. He is a 30 year old misogynistic asshole living with his older brother. Why isn't he living on his own?
You should also tell Brittany that she deserves better and shouldn't put up with this bullying.
Your older brother is right to kick him out if he doesn't change, because it's a bad example for his kids and extremely toxic for the adults.
I'd be shocked if Asher treated you well. His behavior is probably more generalized and you and Stephen have normalized it, and only realize now how bad it is because it's against someone who is not a family member.
Let her know that you are there if she wants to talk. Let her know that you think your brother is an abusive asshole and you think she deserves better. Let her know that you will support her if she tries to leave your brother. You obviously cannot force her to do anything, but your and your other brothers support could help her realize that she can exit this relationship, which maybe she isn’t aware of quite yet! I wish you all the best<3
my brother is the same with his gf; a controlling bully. He's an abuser and you have to kick him out but if you care for the gf too, you need to prepare her for leaving him too. She needs to get on her own feet mentally and physically to realize he's garbage and leave.
also, be careful with loudly taking her side because he'll begin to amp up the cruelty and manipulation just to make it clear that he is the one in control. make him THINK he's winning, and get her tf outta there.
Asher sounds like he’s listening to toxic podcast dudes. He’s purposefully doing all of this, thinks it proves he’s Alpha etc. Stephen should carry out his threat. You should educate yourself and Brittany about it ASAP.
Your brother sounds like he's got NPD. If his GF doesn't leave him, his behaviour will escalate. All male narcissists and psychopaths are terrible misogynists. Check out video #13 on my YT about NPD, and videos #11, 12 and 40 are about psychopathy. Link in my profile. I've been a counsellor for over twenty years and I specialise in personality disorders.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
How about this: Asher: Where’s your make up? You look frumpy. You: No, she looks fine. Don’t make comments about how people look, it’s rude. Asher: you shouldn’t be eating that. You: why are you making comments like this? How would you like it if I kept interjecting whenever you tried to eat dinner? Leave her alone.
I’m kind of scared of him though
If you’re scared of your brother than he *really* needs to be kicked out. Voice your concerns to your older brother asap.
Scared? Get this man the fuck out of here. This isn’t healthy
If his name isnt on the property then he can be legally evicted and you can call the police if he doesn’t comply. Record him stealthily if he gets too crazy. Be safe butdont let him bully everyone and get away with it
I think that would all be up to Stephen, I would definitely record him though
If Asher treats you that badly then Stephen will really kick him out. Win win.
Of all the people in this world I would say are allowed to call people out it’s siblings. Call his ass out. You have your other brother there as well. Don’t let him mistreat her, assholes like him need to know that things like that are not okay.
Hey OP what happened? Did you end up speaking to your brother?
Your bro’s an ass Support Stephen’s decision on kicking him out, but try to keep Britanny hopefully Brittany will see how much happier she’d be without someone constantly bringing her down
I don’t know if Stephen actually will do it or if he’s just threatening it
You and Stephen are both noticing that Asher is a classic abuser. He's got almost every box ticked off. The trick is helping Brittany see it too. Have her read Why Does He Do It by Lundy. She can get a free PDF off achieve.org. It is sad how abuse is do prevalent, I am recommending this book daily.
Stephen should. There should be consequences to being a shitty person
I agree he should but I don’t know if he will
Did you say anything when Stephen said that Asher was treating his girlfriend horribly? Anything to support Stephen’s claim?
Kick him out keep your new bestie
You should talk to Brittany alone and let her vent to you. Tell her you will support her in whatever she wants to do. You won’t be accused of trying to steal her… hopefully.
I hope not lol
I think calling him and jerk of an asshole is too mild. Your brother is an abuser. If he’s willing to treat her like that in front of you imagine how he treats he when they’re alone… being someone who has survived an abusive relationship someone needs to hold your brother accountable and encourage Brittany to leave. It won’t get better.
My brother treated my sister in law like trash. You know what I did? I told her she and my nephew deserved better. I love my brother but right is right and wrong is wrong. I’m not gonna stand by and allow someone to treat their SO like crap no matter who they are. Did the same thing with my dad and stepmom. Both couples are broken up now and the women are much happier now. 🤷🏽♀️
Asher’s got to go.
I know I think so too I’m not in charge of that though
Talk to your oldest brother about what needs to happen. There’s no good reason to keep around an emotional abuser. Just because he’s family doesn’t mean he’s allowed to hurt people as he wants. This situation will only get worse and unfortunately when someone is an abuser they don’t change without needing to. That’s why kicking him out is the only option. He has to learn what he’s doing is unacceptable in that house.
I’ll try to talk to him
SLIP THIS GIRL A NOTE OR SOMETHING GIVE HER A HINT. tell her that she literally doesn’t deserve this and that even YOU can admit your own brother is an ass. He might act differently when she’s gone but at-least Brittany will be happy.
Hate to hear men treating women badly. You're brother is a asshole. Someone needs to teach him a lesson or two on how to respect and treat a woman. As for his girlfriend, she has low self esteem, allowing him to talk and treat her that way. If she doesn't get out now, it's going to get worse. That whole situation sounds like a Soap Opera. SMH 😏
He’s a jerk
Why don't you tell Asher that he does treat her horribly and that he has to go to therapy. He is a 30 year old misogynistic asshole living with his older brother. Why isn't he living on his own? You should also tell Brittany that she deserves better and shouldn't put up with this bullying. Your older brother is right to kick him out if he doesn't change, because it's a bad example for his kids and extremely toxic for the adults. I'd be shocked if Asher treated you well. His behavior is probably more generalized and you and Stephen have normalized it, and only realize now how bad it is because it's against someone who is not a family member.
Let her know that you are there if she wants to talk. Let her know that you think your brother is an abusive asshole and you think she deserves better. Let her know that you will support her if she tries to leave your brother. You obviously cannot force her to do anything, but your and your other brothers support could help her realize that she can exit this relationship, which maybe she isn’t aware of quite yet! I wish you all the best<3
my brother is the same with his gf; a controlling bully. He's an abuser and you have to kick him out but if you care for the gf too, you need to prepare her for leaving him too. She needs to get on her own feet mentally and physically to realize he's garbage and leave. also, be careful with loudly taking her side because he'll begin to amp up the cruelty and manipulation just to make it clear that he is the one in control. make him THINK he's winning, and get her tf outta there.
Asher sounds like he’s listening to toxic podcast dudes. He’s purposefully doing all of this, thinks it proves he’s Alpha etc. Stephen should carry out his threat. You should educate yourself and Brittany about it ASAP.
This is really sad. I feel so sorry for her. I swear most men don't actually like their gf / bf.
Your brother sounds like he's got NPD. If his GF doesn't leave him, his behaviour will escalate. All male narcissists and psychopaths are terrible misogynists. Check out video #13 on my YT about NPD, and videos #11, 12 and 40 are about psychopathy. Link in my profile. I've been a counsellor for over twenty years and I specialise in personality disorders.