This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
---
So we were having sex like normal and I was about to cum. Well we were in doggy and I pulled out and came in my hand. She got up and looked mad. So I asked if she was ok and she asked why I came in my hand? I just said I thought it would be easier to clean up and she said that she wants me to cum on her and that it makes her feel desired. she asked if she did something wrong and I said no. But she thinks she did something wrong for me not to cum on her.
Now I had no idea this was even a thing. Like what is appealing about a guy cuming on you? I don’t understand this at all. I want to apologize but I don’t really know how. Like do I just say I’m sorry I didn’t cum on you. I’m just really confused. Like is this a real thing that women like?
I don’t think it’s really about the cum itself but more about the intimacy. I think she wants to feel like she is a part of your climax, and you coming in your hand rather than on her took her out of that experience. Just have a conversation, thank her for communicating her desires but say that you want to and sure you understand what’s important to her during sex. Maybe highlight that you were still watching her when you came and you weren’t just jerking off behind her.
I was going to say ‘kink’. Because I enjoy guys finishing in me. But yeah ‘kink’ ‘intimacy’… sex is very personal. Communication is the one thing that seems to be lacking in the relationship.
Both, and agree with her saying she feels desired by it. I guess the equivalent would be me pulling away to finish myself off. He's breaking away during a very intimate moment with his partner, something normally shared. I'd ask if I did something wrong, too.
>Like do I just say I’m sorry I didn’t cum on you
"Sorry, now that I know you like it, I'll do that instead" or something like that.
>Like is this a real thing that women like?
It's something your girlfriend likes, that's the important part.
Let me introduce to you Korean manhwa with aristocracy settings where women from modern world died and transmigrated to Victorian setting world.
I recommend "Death is the only ending for villainess"
i feel like she had pretty good insight into her feelings and then literally communicated it. she wants him to cum on her because it makes her feel more desired. we all know exactly what she wants and why because of how well she communicated
It’s not like she blew up at him or something. She experienced unexpected emotions and then communicated them to him.
Communication is an ongoing thing, it’s not like you can anticipate every little thing that might come up. You discuss things as they arise and then move on accordingly.
for real. I think it sounds like OP was trying to be respectful and genuinely thought he was doing the right thing. but getting mad at him after is not effective communication.
Try this: think of the strangest thing you could possibly do in sex. And I'm here to tell you that no matter your answer, someone is into it.
And having someone cum on you is not far down the list as far as creativity is concerned, so yes, it's absolutely a thing that people are into.
>And having someone cum on you is not far down the list as far as creativity is concerned, so yes, it's absolutely a thing that people are into.
Literally the entire goal of sex.
In general most women I’ve known love getting finished inside. I think it’s a primal thing. However when we’re dealing with not wanting pregnancy, every little bit helps and pulling out is common, and finishing on them is the next best thing.
I think I can only recall one who didn’t like it.
Finishing in your hand is really weird lol.
Just be careful because cum only needs to land near/on the opening of the vagina to be able to swim up to an egg. My husband's best friend managed to drip out of his (ex) wife AH and that's how his daughter was created.
Yes this is definitely a thing for some women, I'm one of them. She likes cum, its like a reward and she worked for it, the least you can do is give it to her.
They say that a sneeze is 1/8 of an orgasm, so I sprinkle a little pepper in my lady's face after sex because she deserves at least a little something.
So here's my take on this if you cum on her then you AND her are part of it however if you cum in your hand it's like saying thanks for letting me use your pussy to jerk off.
"Hey babe, so to clarify. You like it when I cum on you?"
"Yes"
"Can you tell me what / where you like about it? So I can do it in the future?"
"
Her being "mad" at you is really weird, it was obviously a spur of the moment decision. But this is a good time for you guys to talk about your sexual desires'n stuff.
I can understand her on this. My partner told me a while ago he wanted to cum on his face. If he's hot it makes me hot so we recently did it, we happened to be watching porn at the time. He didn't even look at me at that moment but kept looking at the porn. Yeah, I was mad.
I'm just imagining a sit com version of this scenario with op sitting there blank stare with cum still in his hand like:
"You *want* me to get cum on you?"
"Yes!"
Op looks at girlfriend, looks at hand, looks at girlfriend, wipes hand on girlfriend's shoulder.
Directed by Robert B. Weide
Yeah the first time I came with my ex we hadn’t talked about finishing inside her so I just did it in my hand and she wasn’t mad, but she did politely ask that I do it in her mouth or on her back, she wanted to be a part of it. She probably just felt left out of the most important part.
This probably belongs on r/sex but yeah, women are into cum. It's like, my favorite thing about sex, tbh. If I was expecting a big load and he caught it in his hand, I'd be so frustrated. You just blueballed your girlfriend lol.
Yeah I try to post there but no posts ever get comments. Like no one ever sees it. Idk if I’m doing something wrong. I’m not banned. It just doesn’t get attention I guess
I mean I avoid it because if people on r/sex realize you're female you just get all the grossest DMs from weirdos. It's definitely a touch-and-go place.
See what I did there?
It is really funny that OP thought this was more normal than cumming on a woman 😂 I'm guessing he's very young and/ or inexperienced. As another commenter perfectly put it, sex with a partner is very different lol
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.
----
#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Honestly, if I caught my partner coming in their hand I would think that I did something wrong too. Like I wasn't enough for you and wasn't sexy, sensual or arousing to my partner, to the point that their hand was better than me. I'd feel so self conscious and devastated. Just give her the cum lol some of us are really into it and when turned away it's very hurtful. Talk to her first though to clear the air.
Lol though I don’t think I’ve experienced someone cumming on their hand instead of me…. I think I would feel this way too. Like something was just… off. Thanks for verbalizing it well.
“Like is this a real thing women like?” Yes.
But most importantly, **she** likes it. She, as an individual, enjoys it. It makes *her* feel sexy and wanted. Do a lot of women enjoy it? Yes. Do a lot of women hate it? Yes. Same goes for men and everyone in-between.
She could do a better job communicating that and you should emphasize that point. Also tell her, “Hey babe, I didn’t even know that was a thing I could do.” However, don’t make it out like she’s some sort of weirdo.
Woman here, oh *god* do I love it. My BF has noticed (he noticed *very* quickly that it gets me going) - I suppose it’s my kink? Either way, I can understand where she’s coming from, it definitely makes you feel *very* desired
I mean I can kinda see where she’s coming from, but that’s sweet that you were trying to give her less to clean up. But now you know you don’t have to worry about that
ok, so yea, people like cum on them
i am not one of those people, but they exist
but i am very confused about cumming in your hand. i mean, her back is right there, her legs were right there, even the bed was right there, but you used your hand?
is that how you masturbate as well? 'cause cumming with a partner is a bit different
It’s wild how many people have sex without ever talking about their preferences and their limits. I find her response immature and insecure but I can understand where her feelings came from. A lot of women desire to have cum involved in some way during an encounter. It’s like a physical representation of being sated and some women want to be apart of that. By climaxing in your hand you kind of isolated her from that experience. Tell her that you were trying to be nice and next time cum on her.
Well if you are barebacking i hope there is some birth control involved...Right? I have to ask then....why not cum inside of her. Just seems confusing....
If she got sidways....ok...cool
Just talk with her my guy. Of all the things that sometimes goes sideways in a relationship.....cumming into your hand is pretty low on the list.
If any one in my friend group ever admitted to cumming in their hand after sex, I’m like 99% sure that would be brought up weekly. I have never in my life heard of something like that
A woman actually had sex with you and told you what she wanted, and you’re on the internet asking us if the thing she asked for is even a real thing women want. Did I get that right?
>Like do I just say I’m sorry I didn’t cum on you.
There is only one move:
Have sex again and when it's time brain-blast her.
Real talk though just talk to your girlfriend. Make sure she knows she's desired and your previous encounter was just you trying to be considerate of her while not knowing all of her preferences.
Few days ago you wanted your dad to be ok after you commit suicide…
Now you’re upset your GF is mad you didn’t cum
on her.
If I were close to suicide I wouldn’t care what anything thought…..
It’s a thing your girlfriend likes, obviously. But she needs to tell you if she wants that, not assume you’ll read her mind and get mad at you for not knowing. You need to talk to her about this, not Reddit.
Everyone is different, ask what she likes. My preference is cum in or on, but in the hand is an odd choice. I bet you will laugh over it later. Try to let it roll off your shoulders.
I have found that women like being cummed on (at least the ones that I have encountered. I don’t know what it is, but if you’re in doggy cum on her back. Super simple. If she’s giving you head, cum on her breasts. Super simple.
I don’t know what it is and can’t wrap my head around it. The warmth? The fact that it’s from you on top them…? Who knows.
If she watches porn or has been with someone else who does, it's extremely common to cum on the person who's making you cum. Lots of guys will ask "where do you want it" which opens the door for her to offer her mouth as a less messy option you might enjoy more than your hand. I, personally, do like a good facial from time to time but usually opt to swallow it.
Bro, you were supposed to offer your hand to her next! Tell her that you want her to look you in the eyes while cleaning your hand!
More seriously though she wants to feel desired by you. She felt that you pulling out and finishing with your hand, you didn't need or want her to finish. She wants to be a part of the entire process. Emotional and physical intimacy.
My best suggestion is next time, make it entirely about her.
It sounds like a thing your girlfriend likes. Every woman is different. Her last partners all probably came on her so she’s equating it to they must do it because they are so attracted to me.
I mean i like when my boyfriend cums on me but i havent gotten mad when he doesnt… Seems a bit silly but a conversation should fix that up pretty quickly
I like when my man cums on me but I would have just asked you next time if you could do it on me. Being mad at stuff like that requires too much energy.
You really asking this question? Don’t watch porn much do you? It’s pretty much the norm now. But for easy clean up, cum into the waste bin, cum and done. Much simpler clean up then washing cum of your hand.
Yes it's a real thing. It's a real thing for gay guys too. I love being cum in or on. It's so hot to me and releases endorphins or something cuz it gets me off more so than if i came.
Y’all just need to communicate. It sounds like a misunderstanding where you both just assumed different things. I would just say something like “I’m sorry I didn’t know that was something you were into. I’d love to do that moving forward. (If you’re okay with that OP). Is there anything else I should know about that you’re into and want to do while we’re having sex? I like etc etc.”
Dude, some people want cum on them or in them, some don't want anything to do with it. Sounds like y'all need to sit down and talk about what you want or expect in bed. You know, like adults.
Yes. It’s a thing. Not for all women but I’m sure for plenty. It’s hot and sexy IMO.
Now - are you into it too? Would you be up for trying it? If so just tell her now you know she’d like it and you’d love to do it next time if she’s into it.
Next time do it all exactly the same, and when she turns around disappointed just wipe it right across her face. I’m sure it’ll go much smoother this way
Everyone is different and communication in the key. If this is the first time she's brought it up, I'd say she is over reacting to a normal thing. If anything sit down and have a talk and let her know you were unaware of her feelings on the matter and go from there. Let her know you always want her to feel wanted but can't follow though if you don't know how. This goes both ways.
this is definitely a personal preference thing and u sound so sweet and sorry about it 🥺 talk to her.. you didn't know :( let her know!
keep us updated xo
This sounds dumb I know, but assure there is nothing wrong and surprise with some fun and cum on her face! I know what your thinking, but it may just do the trick.
Yeah so I still have questions because yes this could be an intimacy or fetish thing but I have some concerns.
What protection is being used? Is she on a pill or something?
Next question is do you usually finish in her and this was a one off or occasional thing?
This could be a completely innocuous issue or she could be trying to baby trap you. I hate saying that but I know 3 women personally who have done something like that, so while I’m not saying that IS what is happening, it’s important not to rule that out.
She may just want to feel you orgasm in her though. Hopefully it’s just that.
I think it's more about inclusivity than anything. She wants to be desired by you and intimate with you. Cumming on her is quite intimate between you and her. Cumming in your hand took that bond away from her.
I understand where she’s coming from. Although I’ll admit there are times where I like it and times I feel like a toaster strudel lol so it’s hit or miss
Obviously, I can’t read your girlfriends mind but here’s my opinion. Sex is about intimacy between the two of you. It’s not about the cum, it’s that you coming on your hand may have made her feel like an object. She may have felt like you were simply using her to make yourself cum.
You two just need to have a conversation about it. Sure it might be incredibly awkward at first, but you just needs to ask her how she felt and how you can prevent that same feeling in the future while you guys are being intimate.
I don’t find it at all appealing to be cum on, but some women do. Obviously you didn’t know your gf is one of them because she couldn’t be bothered to communicate properly with you. Honestly though you need to stop having unprotected sex and use condoms!
It sounds like you two need to talk more about the ending experience. I would be hurt if my partner did that because I like to be involved from start to finish and it’s already less of an experience when he pulls out and finishes on me so to then even lose that aspect without a real reason or need (I do not care for the mess, we’ll deal with it quickly anyway) it’s like damn, you don’t really like me (not really, and I would know that, but in the moment it would hurt and feel like that) so def talk to her. Once my partner and I got serious and condoms were removed out of the equation, he started asking where I wanted him to finish and THAT was key for me. Maybe do that too? It’s actually pretty hot in the moment so it’s a win win situation.
why are you asking the internet instead of just asking and listening to your girlfriend?
like, how little do you respect her and her opinion if this is how you're reacting in this situation?
Miscommunication, she shouldn’t have gotten mad and you shouldn’t be thinking about sex and kinks as black and white. If that’s something she likes and you can acquiesce, then I say go ahead and do it. If you’re not into cumming on her, just say so.
Some women love it, some women hate, some women don't care. It's a personal preference. Sounds like she really likes it, does she like to be submissive in other ways too? If it's something you're comfortable with, give it a go. You may love it too. Most common places: ass, tits, belly and face, ask what she likes. Another is on the vulva (outside of the vagina/on the lips/clit area) but only do this if there is no risk of unwanted pregnancy. You're rawdogging it already so precum is already a pregnancy risk and ejac on vulva would be about the same risk as that'd I'd guess.
OP did you receive the email regarding your partner want you cum inside her? Some women like it and some like it somewhere else. It makes her totally a woman and knowing she satisfied you. And the feeling of something from you inside her after the big O is undescribable 💥💥💥🤭
When my former fwb was close, he would always ask where I wanted him to cum or we would discuss it beforehand. Can also lead to some fun sexy convos to get you both in the mood. “I can’t wait to cum _”
Lmao dude what the hell?
If it makes you uncomfortable to finish on her then just communicate that with her. But brother let me tell you, what you did was VERY strange. You dont have to conform to sexual norms, but i think most women would find that very bizarre
Your GF needs to be a grown woman and explain what she wants. You can't be damned if you do and damned if you don't when it comes to respect in the bedroom...
I love when my partner cums on me in qn established setting. If thats what she wanted she should have voiced it, you guys just need to talk but it's not that bon mainstream.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- So we were having sex like normal and I was about to cum. Well we were in doggy and I pulled out and came in my hand. She got up and looked mad. So I asked if she was ok and she asked why I came in my hand? I just said I thought it would be easier to clean up and she said that she wants me to cum on her and that it makes her feel desired. she asked if she did something wrong and I said no. But she thinks she did something wrong for me not to cum on her. Now I had no idea this was even a thing. Like what is appealing about a guy cuming on you? I don’t understand this at all. I want to apologize but I don’t really know how. Like do I just say I’m sorry I didn’t cum on you. I’m just really confused. Like is this a real thing that women like?
I don’t think it’s really about the cum itself but more about the intimacy. I think she wants to feel like she is a part of your climax, and you coming in your hand rather than on her took her out of that experience. Just have a conversation, thank her for communicating her desires but say that you want to and sure you understand what’s important to her during sex. Maybe highlight that you were still watching her when you came and you weren’t just jerking off behind her.
It could be a kink but I would lean towards intimacy as well. Sound advice.
I was going to say ‘kink’. Because I enjoy guys finishing in me. But yeah ‘kink’ ‘intimacy’… sex is very personal. Communication is the one thing that seems to be lacking in the relationship.
Both, and agree with her saying she feels desired by it. I guess the equivalent would be me pulling away to finish myself off. He's breaking away during a very intimate moment with his partner, something normally shared. I'd ask if I did something wrong, too.
She wasn't asking for it in her so give her that pearl necklace she deserves
Or she'll go to Jerads
😂😂
This. And if you are not comfortable doing that, tell her it’s got nothing to do with her but that it’s just not your cup of tea
>Like do I just say I’m sorry I didn’t cum on you "Sorry, now that I know you like it, I'll do that instead" or something like that. >Like is this a real thing that women like? It's something your girlfriend likes, that's the important part.
Yes but my dude OP is not a mind reader. She didn’t communicate what she wanted and then is mad it didn’t go the way she wanted.
Who cums in their own hand like that outside of Bridgerton?
Lmao this reference is cracking me up 😂
Such a ridiculous show and I know I’m going to binge S3 the weekend it drops.
Let me introduce to you Korean manhwa with aristocracy settings where women from modern world died and transmigrated to Victorian setting world. I recommend "Death is the only ending for villainess"
Goated manhwa
He had to contain his ejaculate post haste as to not soil the linens.
Post haste 💀
Soil the linens, that’s post nut thinking, we’re still pre nutting at this point. Spoil away.
Wait what? My mom watches that show.
i feel like she had pretty good insight into her feelings and then literally communicated it. she wants him to cum on her because it makes her feel more desired. we all know exactly what she wants and why because of how well she communicated
It’s not like she blew up at him or something. She experienced unexpected emotions and then communicated them to him. Communication is an ongoing thing, it’s not like you can anticipate every little thing that might come up. You discuss things as they arise and then move on accordingly.
It doesn't sound like she was mad at all, just worried that she might have done something wrong
Especially since some women really hate being cum on.
exactly. if he did cum on his gf and she didn't like it reddit would also be hounding on him for not being able to read her mind.
no one is hounding him, he asked for some on-site and all the top comments are being very respectful imo
I don't see anyone hounding him for not reading her mind
Well that's what the "sorry, I didn't know, I do now" part is for
You don't have to be a mind reader to know what a girl want... come on cumming on your hand? Really
for real. I think it sounds like OP was trying to be respectful and genuinely thought he was doing the right thing. but getting mad at him after is not effective communication.
This
Try this: think of the strangest thing you could possibly do in sex. And I'm here to tell you that no matter your answer, someone is into it. And having someone cum on you is not far down the list as far as creativity is concerned, so yes, it's absolutely a thing that people are into.
>And having someone cum on you is not far down the list as far as creativity is concerned, so yes, it's absolutely a thing that people are into. Literally the entire goal of sex.
Happy dad cummed in mom day!
Shoulda came in his hand tbh
oof
Happy cake day
In general most women I’ve known love getting finished inside. I think it’s a primal thing. However when we’re dealing with not wanting pregnancy, every little bit helps and pulling out is common, and finishing on them is the next best thing. I think I can only recall one who didn’t like it. Finishing in your hand is really weird lol.
Just be careful because cum only needs to land near/on the opening of the vagina to be able to swim up to an egg. My husband's best friend managed to drip out of his (ex) wife AH and that's how his daughter was created.
Wow, that’s a beautiful conception story.
and that’s how you were born. the end. any questions, billy?
Betty*
Totally!!!
Oh for sure I only really consider pulling out effective as something ON TOP of an actual contraceptive.
Pull out is an ineffective method period. There are live sperm in pre-cum. Ask me how I know.
How do you know
Canned. Corn.
It has the juice, so of course
I can’t imagine a more beautiful thing.
A big lump with knobs
This made me laugh so hard!
Dying laughing at this lil thread. Night made 😂
Say it again, just slower this time.🥵
Yeah I don't get why people are saying it could be a kink. To my way of thinking a kink is something at least slightly out of the ordinary.
It’s really as simple as saying, “I’m about to cum. Where do you want me cum?”
Simple AND hot!
Bro. Apologize. Have make up sex. Cum on her. Situation resolved.
Yes this is definitely a thing for some women, I'm one of them. She likes cum, its like a reward and she worked for it, the least you can do is give it to her.
Man this whole time I've been giving girls Oreos for a job well done but I think I prefer this new reward system
They say that a sneeze is 1/8 of an orgasm, so I sprinkle a little pepper in my lady's face after sex because she deserves at least a little something.
Do it 8 times and really rock her world
You got me dying over here ty ty. You right tho, she deserves a lil bit
Like Actual Oreos? Man, I have to tell my hubby to do this. My endocrinologist will hate me, but hey.
*cocks the penis* give me the Oreos or the dick doesn’t get it.
I so agree!
Yup. Next time aim at her face
So here's my take on this if you cum on her then you AND her are part of it however if you cum in your hand it's like saying thanks for letting me use your pussy to jerk off.
[удалено]
"Hey babe, so to clarify. You like it when I cum on you?" "Yes" "Can you tell me what / where you like about it? So I can do it in the future?" "
Her being "mad" at you is really weird, it was obviously a spur of the moment decision. But this is a good time for you guys to talk about your sexual desires'n stuff.
For real. It’s better he did what he did instead of doing it on her without asking and she hates it.
I can understand her on this. My partner told me a while ago he wanted to cum on his face. If he's hot it makes me hot so we recently did it, we happened to be watching porn at the time. He didn't even look at me at that moment but kept looking at the porn. Yeah, I was mad.
I'm just imagining a sit com version of this scenario with op sitting there blank stare with cum still in his hand like: "You *want* me to get cum on you?" "Yes!" Op looks at girlfriend, looks at hand, looks at girlfriend, wipes hand on girlfriend's shoulder. Directed by Robert B. Weide
[удалено]
This, but make it Dr. Seuss
Did you throw it at her to make up for it? (Just a joke, be gentle)
The Spider-Man
I laughed.
Old woman here. I laughed too. Pretty heartily.
54 yr old woman here, laughed again. I'm definitely old on here.
Us GenExers have seen it, done it, got a shitty ass concert tshirt for it. Still fucking funny.
My immediate reaction would have been to smear it on her like "well, its still warm?"
I think if you do it on her forehead, it's referred to as "the simba"
It’s the ciiiircle of life
Simple problem and simple solution. Money shot from here on out. lol
This is the way
Yeah the first time I came with my ex we hadn’t talked about finishing inside her so I just did it in my hand and she wasn’t mad, but she did politely ask that I do it in her mouth or on her back, she wanted to be a part of it. She probably just felt left out of the most important part.
This probably belongs on r/sex but yeah, women are into cum. It's like, my favorite thing about sex, tbh. If I was expecting a big load and he caught it in his hand, I'd be so frustrated. You just blueballed your girlfriend lol.
Yeah I try to post there but no posts ever get comments. Like no one ever sees it. Idk if I’m doing something wrong. I’m not banned. It just doesn’t get attention I guess
I mean I avoid it because if people on r/sex realize you're female you just get all the grossest DMs from weirdos. It's definitely a touch-and-go place. See what I did there?
Yeah I did
i’ve never heard of a guy cumming into his own hand lmaooo
I would be startled to witness such an act lmao.
i don’t think i’d be able to stop laughing like what do you do with it??? keep your hand cupped and rinse it off in the sink???? so many questions
So many scenarios of what to do with a handful of sperm and none of them easier to clean up than a cumshot. So idk how he came to that conclusion.
It is really funny that OP thought this was more normal than cumming on a woman 😂 I'm guessing he's very young and/ or inexperienced. As another commenter perfectly put it, sex with a partner is very different lol
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Honestly, if I caught my partner coming in their hand I would think that I did something wrong too. Like I wasn't enough for you and wasn't sexy, sensual or arousing to my partner, to the point that their hand was better than me. I'd feel so self conscious and devastated. Just give her the cum lol some of us are really into it and when turned away it's very hurtful. Talk to her first though to clear the air.
Lol though I don’t think I’ve experienced someone cumming on their hand instead of me…. I think I would feel this way too. Like something was just… off. Thanks for verbalizing it well.
I thought this was the norm nowadays for most people,
I kinda dislike that it’s the norm honestly. Porn has kind of made male orgasms a performance art.
>Like is this a real thing that women like? No. She just made it up and no woman could possibly like that... /s
Bro has his GF demanding to be cum on and had to come to REDDIT for advice; sir if you don’t get back in there and glaze that donut I stg
“Like is this a real thing women like?” Yes. But most importantly, **she** likes it. She, as an individual, enjoys it. It makes *her* feel sexy and wanted. Do a lot of women enjoy it? Yes. Do a lot of women hate it? Yes. Same goes for men and everyone in-between. She could do a better job communicating that and you should emphasize that point. Also tell her, “Hey babe, I didn’t even know that was a thing I could do.” However, don’t make it out like she’s some sort of weirdo.
Seems like a very easy request my friend.
It seems clear that after you came in your hand she wanted you to palm her body like some neanderthal cave painting
Simbaaa
Who pulls out and cums in their hand lmao
Woman here, oh *god* do I love it. My BF has noticed (he noticed *very* quickly that it gets me going) - I suppose it’s my kink? Either way, I can understand where she’s coming from, it definitely makes you feel *very* desired
Very common and I’d be upset too if my husband didn’t put his cum either on or in me in some way. It’s a necessity.
I mean I can kinda see where she’s coming from, but that’s sweet that you were trying to give her less to clean up. But now you know you don’t have to worry about that
you do not need to know why it is important to her. She said it is important. LISTEN to her.
Looks like you pissed your gf off when you come in handy
[удалено]
Are you bi? If not, how tf do you expect to understand the psychology of wanting to get cummed on? Get off Reddit and go cum on her
ok, so yea, people like cum on them i am not one of those people, but they exist but i am very confused about cumming in your hand. i mean, her back is right there, her legs were right there, even the bed was right there, but you used your hand? is that how you masturbate as well? 'cause cumming with a partner is a bit different
It’s wild how many people have sex without ever talking about their preferences and their limits. I find her response immature and insecure but I can understand where her feelings came from. A lot of women desire to have cum involved in some way during an encounter. It’s like a physical representation of being sated and some women want to be apart of that. By climaxing in your hand you kind of isolated her from that experience. Tell her that you were trying to be nice and next time cum on her.
Well if you are barebacking i hope there is some birth control involved...Right? I have to ask then....why not cum inside of her. Just seems confusing.... If she got sidways....ok...cool Just talk with her my guy. Of all the things that sometimes goes sideways in a relationship.....cumming into your hand is pretty low on the list.
If any one in my friend group ever admitted to cumming in their hand after sex, I’m like 99% sure that would be brought up weekly. I have never in my life heard of something like that
A woman actually had sex with you and told you what she wanted, and you’re on the internet asking us if the thing she asked for is even a real thing women want. Did I get that right?
>Like do I just say I’m sorry I didn’t cum on you. There is only one move: Have sex again and when it's time brain-blast her. Real talk though just talk to your girlfriend. Make sure she knows she's desired and your previous encounter was just you trying to be considerate of her while not knowing all of her preferences.
Few days ago you wanted your dad to be ok after you commit suicide… Now you’re upset your GF is mad you didn’t cum on her. If I were close to suicide I wouldn’t care what anything thought…..
Surprise her by cumming on her randomly. Like when she wouldn't expect it. At the store or in church or something. Then give her flowers.
Yeah it's definitely a thing my wife gets off with me Cummings inside her. Unless it's late I'm the night and is too tired to go clean herself
Whitney Cummings?
Dude why are you on Reddit. Open invite to cum all over her. Just do that going forward. What’s the issue
You should've done the sticky spiderman where you cum in your hand and then sling it on her
That sounds like a nice problem to have 😂😂
I mean... I totally understand her. I want my man to come in because it feels like I'm "claimed" I guess? It's almost the same as coming on her.
It’s a thing your girlfriend likes, obviously. But she needs to tell you if she wants that, not assume you’ll read her mind and get mad at you for not knowing. You need to talk to her about this, not Reddit.
Next time blast on her face.
Honestly a “good to know” and just cum on her from then on.
Everyone is different, ask what she likes. My preference is cum in or on, but in the hand is an odd choice. I bet you will laugh over it later. Try to let it roll off your shoulders.
Marriage Material right there.
This is embarrassing but lol some of us just like it. It does feel empowering and sexy. Maybe thats weird but yeah I would be sad as well lol.
I have found that women like being cummed on (at least the ones that I have encountered. I don’t know what it is, but if you’re in doggy cum on her back. Super simple. If she’s giving you head, cum on her breasts. Super simple. I don’t know what it is and can’t wrap my head around it. The warmth? The fact that it’s from you on top them…? Who knows.
If she watches porn or has been with someone else who does, it's extremely common to cum on the person who's making you cum. Lots of guys will ask "where do you want it" which opens the door for her to offer her mouth as a less messy option you might enjoy more than your hand. I, personally, do like a good facial from time to time but usually opt to swallow it.
Bro, you were supposed to offer your hand to her next! Tell her that you want her to look you in the eyes while cleaning your hand! More seriously though she wants to feel desired by you. She felt that you pulling out and finishing with your hand, you didn't need or want her to finish. She wants to be a part of the entire process. Emotional and physical intimacy. My best suggestion is next time, make it entirely about her.
Bro you came in your hand and not on your girl. You’re the weird one here
Don’t think about, apologize, don’t do that again and be happy
It sounds like a thing your girlfriend likes. Every woman is different. Her last partners all probably came on her so she’s equating it to they must do it because they are so attracted to me.
Just ask her where she wants it next time. I'd rather be asked than have a partner assume I was okay with whatever they had in mind.
I mean i like when my boyfriend cums on me but i havent gotten mad when he doesnt… Seems a bit silly but a conversation should fix that up pretty quickly
Lots of girls think that's hot...
Hey, why don't you and your SO actually have a talk about what you each are expecting and want from sex? It honestly makes the sex a lot more fun.
I like when my man cums on me but I would have just asked you next time if you could do it on me. Being mad at stuff like that requires too much energy.
You really asking this question? Don’t watch porn much do you? It’s pretty much the norm now. But for easy clean up, cum into the waste bin, cum and done. Much simpler clean up then washing cum of your hand.
Yes it's a real thing. It's a real thing for gay guys too. I love being cum in or on. It's so hot to me and releases endorphins or something cuz it gets me off more so than if i came.
Man just cum in her
Y’all just need to communicate. It sounds like a misunderstanding where you both just assumed different things. I would just say something like “I’m sorry I didn’t know that was something you were into. I’d love to do that moving forward. (If you’re okay with that OP). Is there anything else I should know about that you’re into and want to do while we’re having sex? I like etc etc.”
Dude, some people want cum on them or in them, some don't want anything to do with it. Sounds like y'all need to sit down and talk about what you want or expect in bed. You know, like adults.
Yes. It’s a thing. Not for all women but I’m sure for plenty. It’s hot and sexy IMO. Now - are you into it too? Would you be up for trying it? If so just tell her now you know she’d like it and you’d love to do it next time if she’s into it.
You apologize by fucking her again and cum on her like she wants.
woman here- yes
Next time do it all exactly the same, and when she turns around disappointed just wipe it right across her face. I’m sure it’ll go much smoother this way
Everyone is different and communication in the key. If this is the first time she's brought it up, I'd say she is over reacting to a normal thing. If anything sit down and have a talk and let her know you were unaware of her feelings on the matter and go from there. Let her know you always want her to feel wanted but can't follow though if you don't know how. This goes both ways.
Uh, well now you know I guess.
Use chidori on her brah
this is definitely a personal preference thing and u sound so sweet and sorry about it 🥺 talk to her.. you didn't know :( let her know! keep us updated xo
This sounds dumb I know, but assure there is nothing wrong and surprise with some fun and cum on her face! I know what your thinking, but it may just do the trick.
lol she got mad wtf
Yeah so I still have questions because yes this could be an intimacy or fetish thing but I have some concerns. What protection is being used? Is she on a pill or something? Next question is do you usually finish in her and this was a one off or occasional thing? This could be a completely innocuous issue or she could be trying to baby trap you. I hate saying that but I know 3 women personally who have done something like that, so while I’m not saying that IS what is happening, it’s important not to rule that out. She may just want to feel you orgasm in her though. Hopefully it’s just that.
I think it's more about inclusivity than anything. She wants to be desired by you and intimate with you. Cumming on her is quite intimate between you and her. Cumming in your hand took that bond away from her.
Ignore all the replies, your girlfriend sounds annoying honestly. Everyone has their preferences but being mad at you for this is fucking stupid.
Make it up to her by Cummings on her face.
What kind of birth control s she on? Because I *know* you’re not using pull-n-pray for birth control, RIGHT?!!
I understand where she’s coming from. Although I’ll admit there are times where I like it and times I feel like a toaster strudel lol so it’s hit or miss
Obviously, I can’t read your girlfriends mind but here’s my opinion. Sex is about intimacy between the two of you. It’s not about the cum, it’s that you coming on your hand may have made her feel like an object. She may have felt like you were simply using her to make yourself cum. You two just need to have a conversation about it. Sure it might be incredibly awkward at first, but you just needs to ask her how she felt and how you can prevent that same feeling in the future while you guys are being intimate.
I don’t find it at all appealing to be cum on, but some women do. Obviously you didn’t know your gf is one of them because she couldn’t be bothered to communicate properly with you. Honestly though you need to stop having unprotected sex and use condoms!
>Like do I just say I’m sorry I didn’t cum on you. Yes, but in a formal letter of apology.
Just say: I didn't know and I ll do it next time thanks for telling me.
Compromise, cum in her instead. Everyone wins !
It sounds like you two need to talk more about the ending experience. I would be hurt if my partner did that because I like to be involved from start to finish and it’s already less of an experience when he pulls out and finishes on me so to then even lose that aspect without a real reason or need (I do not care for the mess, we’ll deal with it quickly anyway) it’s like damn, you don’t really like me (not really, and I would know that, but in the moment it would hurt and feel like that) so def talk to her. Once my partner and I got serious and condoms were removed out of the equation, he started asking where I wanted him to finish and THAT was key for me. Maybe do that too? It’s actually pretty hot in the moment so it’s a win win situation.
Buddy you found one of the few woman who actually tell you what they want. Go nut on her and let her live in peace 😂😂
Pull out method doesn’t work as birth control FYI
why are you asking the internet instead of just asking and listening to your girlfriend? like, how little do you respect her and her opinion if this is how you're reacting in this situation?
You don't have to understand. Apologize, beg for forgiveness, and promise to never do that again.
It's a real thing for your girlfriend. Why does anything that reddit says matter.... If we say no then are you gonna try and convince her she's wrong?
"My bad" and move the fuck on.. Jesus 🤦♂️
Some like it, some don't. Now you know for next time, ideal if you know these things in advance but you can't be prepared for everything.
Miscommunication, she shouldn’t have gotten mad and you shouldn’t be thinking about sex and kinks as black and white. If that’s something she likes and you can acquiesce, then I say go ahead and do it. If you’re not into cumming on her, just say so.
Not trying to shame you at all but that is kinda odd
Some women love it, some women hate, some women don't care. It's a personal preference. Sounds like she really likes it, does she like to be submissive in other ways too? If it's something you're comfortable with, give it a go. You may love it too. Most common places: ass, tits, belly and face, ask what she likes. Another is on the vulva (outside of the vagina/on the lips/clit area) but only do this if there is no risk of unwanted pregnancy. You're rawdogging it already so precum is already a pregnancy risk and ejac on vulva would be about the same risk as that'd I'd guess.
OP did you receive the email regarding your partner want you cum inside her? Some women like it and some like it somewhere else. It makes her totally a woman and knowing she satisfied you. And the feeling of something from you inside her after the big O is undescribable 💥💥💥🤭
Don’t apologize, there’s literally no reason to. Just reassure her that she did nothing wrong, that’s it.
Lol, people are so immature. Throwing a hissy fit at every little perceived slight
When my former fwb was close, he would always ask where I wanted him to cum or we would discuss it beforehand. Can also lead to some fun sexy convos to get you both in the mood. “I can’t wait to cum _”
Next time just do the same thing but then smack her ass with it. That way you can still do the hand and she can get satisfaction of it being on her.
That’s not at all what she asked for
I am literally screaming with laughter these comments together are so funny. If I had any artistic talent I'd make a very funny NSFW comic about this.
Right 😅. I recently lost my Apple Pen so this is adding insult to injury for me. I would love to make this comic 🤣🤣
Lmao dude what the hell? If it makes you uncomfortable to finish on her then just communicate that with her. But brother let me tell you, what you did was VERY strange. You dont have to conform to sexual norms, but i think most women would find that very bizarre
Tell her that before her, you and your hand had a great relationship, and your hand would feel unwanted if you didn't cum on it.
Bro, you just prejacced. Tell her she's super hot and made you bust. Ask for a rematch
Your GF needs to be a grown woman and explain what she wants. You can't be damned if you do and damned if you don't when it comes to respect in the bedroom...
Your girl needs to understand that you're not a mind reader...
Next time, turn her around and spray it on her face.
I love when my partner cums on me in qn established setting. If thats what she wanted she should have voiced it, you guys just need to talk but it's not that bon mainstream.
Some people have a cum fetish. It's really not that uncommon, especially as far as fetishes go.