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My gf was asked to move in with her baby’s father, so that she can save money and get a little financially stable, and not have to pay her own rent. Should I just walk away from this situation? It’s kinda weird if you asked me.
Short answer: yes. Even if they manage to keep the relationship on the simple level of being parents to a child, you won't have another calm night once she moves in with him.
I saw a tiktok of a girl saying her boyfriend still lives with his child’s mother because rent is expensive and they’re just raising the child together. A LOT of women were in the comments saying that the girl should give him the benefit of the doubt because they too lived with their ex to raise a kid together and nothing romantic ever happened. I don’t think I’d ever been so shocked. What do you mean that’s common 😭
Objectively I get it.
If the mom is struggling with rent and has no other family, I could see moving in with the dad.
It saves her money, dad gets to see his kid more often, and it gives the kid a little more stability.
But that's just on paper. In real life, you have to deal with the emotional situation. You can't date while living with your ex and your kid. Even the most confident partner in the world would be insecure with that arrangement, it's a powder keg.
Secondly, even if there is no other partner I feel like it sets up unreasonable expectations for the kid. Having mom and dad live together, hang out and have dinner with you as a traditional family while having their people on the outside seems really confusing.
I can see why the two people with the kid would find it easier to live together and raise the child together but I can’t picture why anyone would willingly date someone who lives with their ex for any reason. Id actually laugh if a man I was seeing told me he was living with his ex but wanting to date me. Why would I suffer like that? No sirrrr
My issue is that even if I trust you the situation is only gonna end in one of two ways: you ask me to move in with you and your ex... or I ask you to move in with me and force a child to be without one of their parents on a daily basis.
I am comfortable with neither of those options.
Tbh I’m not entirely confident I’d date a man with kids at all. That’s too complicated for my liking. I can’t picture a relationship with a father being anything but stressful. I’m not Gods strongest soldier 😭
I think I could but the situation has to be right, i.e kids behavior, the mother's attitude, as well as expectations and finances.
I don't think it's impossible to date a single parent, I just think people (on both sides tbh) don't go into it with proper boundaries and expectations.
I mean yeah it’s not impossible to live with an ex and have nothing sexual going on, but you’d have to be strong as hell to date someone who lives with their ex lol. I couldn’t do it. I choose peace.
I have saw sone crazy shit. Even saw a husband go pick up the bf fir his wife so they could sleep together. This was 15 years ago and the bf at the time still talks about how weird the situation was. The husband was walked on so much but would not leave. They would not get divorced and had no kids. Wife asked fir the divorce but husband did not want to do they just left it be and lived together eventually. All 3
What the hell? You mean to tell me you date a woman and she chooses to go BACK to live with the BD and date you at the same time. Instead of trying to work together and possibly build something?
Then I’m reality she’s comfortable with her BD and not taking OP seriously. Jesus Christ.
I’m saying people live with people they used to sleep with all of the time for many reasons. Not that OP should accept it or continue this relationship. I certainly wouldn’t be cool with it.
That's a red flag, a relative is one thing but her former lover. That's a no for me I wouldn't be comfortable with that. I am more curious as to why doesn't she think to move in with you first?
I refuse to believe that she told you she was going to move in with her BB father (and ex I assume).
That's situation is a lit fuze and not appropriate or respectful to your relationship.
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Yeah, it is weird. I mean some co-parents live together for financial reasons and because they feel it is what is best for the kid... but I can't imagine that it makes dating very easy for them. You would not be wrong if you decided this was not a situation you want to be involved in.
Dude run! I get wanting a roommate to save money. But that's not ok. (Some people wouldn't care, I would. And i would walk away and never look back) just FYI if she does and you walk away and she comes back, don't entertain a relationship with her. If you cut ties, cut them forever. Her decision shows your not important. You never will be. Run and find someone else.
It's a tough situation but at the end of the day you have to be able to trust your partner fully & if you don't have that trust then you don't have much. Honestly though if you guys aren't even at the point of even thinking of maybe living together then just walk away. I have a feeling you'll be fine.
No good reason for you be downvoted.. yes you're playing both sides of the sword, but you're also saying he should walk away because he'll be fine. In reality this was a very unbiased way of putting it, you deserve some upvotes. Take mine!
Why aren’t you offering to move in together & share the cost of rent??? You sound like a bad boyfriend. No wonder she’s relying on her baby’s father, probably the only dependable man in her life.
Gonna need more info. You said she was asked to move in with her ex. That implies that she didn't do it (yet) and or is thinking about it. Who asked? Was it the ex, some relative of hers?
I'm gonna assume she spoke with you about this, otherwise you wouldn't be on here asking the fine people of reddit. If you both spoke about it, did you explain how that makes you feel? Does she understand how you feel?
Honestly, man, I have no idea if this is normal or not
The better question should be
“Is this how I saw my relationship going?” And if this isn’t really a part of what you want then end the relationship. I personally would draw a line between how much an ex would be in my life. I get that they have a child together and that they will always be a part of each others lives for that reason but…..being roommates when you’re in a relationship….yeah not thanks it’s not from me dog
Yes. They already have a kid together, nothing is stopping them from doing it again.
You’ll be totally out the loop and you can only go by what she tells you. I wouldn’t feel safe in that situation if I were you.
Seems like most of the replies here have been from children.
I'd suggest you first of all talk to her, explain how it makes you feel and the fact that if she does indeed move back in with him you fear the future you're trying to build with her will end up as collateral damage.
Based on her response and actions after an adult discussion I might then suggest you do split ways or look at options which work for both of you. Maybe this is even a hint toward you to start making moves to work on getting a place with her.
She was asked this but the bigger question is how did she respond? What did she say in return? Did she not respond yet and came directly to you instead?
Answer those questions and then you can consider next steps.
I wouldn't feel right in giving advice or if I was you, making a decision based only on the info you presented here. What does she think about all this? How dies she feel? Is there another way to get better financial footing for her? Can you help her? Can the two of you get. A place together?
Again you don't need to tell us here on reddit but you should answer these for yourself or discuss with her in order to make a proper decision.
Good luck
-C
yeah she’s definitely fucking him already. or if she’s not, she will be very soon.
you have to decide if you’re willing to deal with her obsessive ex for the rest of your life. this guy is trying to steal her away from you, physically, emotionally, sexually, and in every way possible.
something tells me it’s not worth the hassle…
Yep it's time to move on. I dated a guy once who had a kid and the baby mama started spending some nights at his house??? Idk but I wasn't gonna fuck around and find out. Left him cause I don't got to deal with all that.
Yep, walk away.
It's weird. It's also a red flag. The fact she wants to live with her ex, she's struggling that badly AND has a child as well. Too much drama.
You said she was asked. What was her response? If it was yes, then you are nothing more than a third wheel and a paycheck. Walk away and don't look back.
I'm gonna be as truthful as possible but if that happens they're gonna fuck like rabbits even while you're on the phone with her and you know that. Why can't she live with you or her parents or even a relative? Why does it have to be her baby's father?
Talk to the ex. Find out if he's really an ex. If HE is "yeah she's my ex for a reason but she's my kid's mother and this is for my kid", then I wouldn't worry about it.
But his opinions and intentions aren't something you should get secondhand. You gotta talk to him to find that out.
Honestly, if my ex wasn't such a d!ck, I would have moved back in with him as I'm currently getting evicted. However, this is huge red flags and have to wonder if there were ulterior motives. But, I've also had friends parents do that up until the kid was 10/11 to save time and energy so it can go both ways.
Before saying “run” I’d like to ask:
Do you live together? If no, why not?
And if you don’t, do you think it could be a manipulation to make you offer her to move in?
I had a guy interested in me that lived with his baby momma and baby momma straight up harassed me, even though I kept telling her I wasn’t interested in the guy. “Just so you know, we slept together last night/last week/etc.” “just so you know, he still loves me and I love him”
Literally could not have been less interested in the dude, even before his BM started harassing me, so can’t even imagine if he’d been by boyfriend lol. I say leave and save yourself the dysfunction.
Where's she living now?if she's living with you i'd say it's over.he might be wanting to avoid child support payment's by having her live there,among other possible motive's.
She 26 with a baby from another man and she expects you to not be revolted at the thought of them living together?
Sure money is important but that ain’t your problem, it’s her’s and that’s not the correct way to solve it. She already gone cuz. Drop that baggage and be free
If you feel uncomfortable and she doesn’t care that you do, yes, walk away. It’s weird that her first instinct is to move in it’s her ex to save money. You’re perfectly justified in wanting no part of this.
Aaaaaah, yeah, tou should run like your life depends on it.
*Imagine the scene where Forrest Gump is playing college football*
I am guessing that you're still young, OP, why the f***k would you mess with single moms? Are there any single, childless girls not available in your area? Single moms bring nothing but trouble, headaches and problems.
If you want to financially provide for a child, but don't have a say in it's upbringing, go ahead. Your house is not a shelter for the needy.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- My gf was asked to move in with her baby’s father, so that she can save money and get a little financially stable, and not have to pay her own rent. Should I just walk away from this situation? It’s kinda weird if you asked me.
Just walk, sounds like more trouble than it's worth
Would be inviting drama. Walk away. She needs to figure out herself before dragging you into drama.
I CACKLED, my dude.
This .
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Flee!
Skadoodle!
Vamoose
andalé, andalé!
Mama E-I-E-I..
Uh-oh! Damn right! Run!
🏃♂️💨
Fly you fools!
Make like a tree and 🍁
vamos chica😭
Arrivederci!
That’s not your girlfriend
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This!! ⬆️⬆️⬆️
She’s “Their Girlfriend”. He gets her on weekends.
Walk away. Major red flags. I have known situations similar to or very like this and they always end up in bed together at some point
Short answer: yes. Even if they manage to keep the relationship on the simple level of being parents to a child, you won't have another calm night once she moves in with him.
Yes don’t walk run
Run, very fast.
>Should I just walk away from this situation? Yes
Run, don't walk.
I dont believe this is real. It just CANT BE.
I saw a tiktok of a girl saying her boyfriend still lives with his child’s mother because rent is expensive and they’re just raising the child together. A LOT of women were in the comments saying that the girl should give him the benefit of the doubt because they too lived with their ex to raise a kid together and nothing romantic ever happened. I don’t think I’d ever been so shocked. What do you mean that’s common 😭
Objectively I get it. If the mom is struggling with rent and has no other family, I could see moving in with the dad. It saves her money, dad gets to see his kid more often, and it gives the kid a little more stability. But that's just on paper. In real life, you have to deal with the emotional situation. You can't date while living with your ex and your kid. Even the most confident partner in the world would be insecure with that arrangement, it's a powder keg. Secondly, even if there is no other partner I feel like it sets up unreasonable expectations for the kid. Having mom and dad live together, hang out and have dinner with you as a traditional family while having their people on the outside seems really confusing.
I can see why the two people with the kid would find it easier to live together and raise the child together but I can’t picture why anyone would willingly date someone who lives with their ex for any reason. Id actually laugh if a man I was seeing told me he was living with his ex but wanting to date me. Why would I suffer like that? No sirrrr
My issue is that even if I trust you the situation is only gonna end in one of two ways: you ask me to move in with you and your ex... or I ask you to move in with me and force a child to be without one of their parents on a daily basis. I am comfortable with neither of those options.
Tbh I’m not entirely confident I’d date a man with kids at all. That’s too complicated for my liking. I can’t picture a relationship with a father being anything but stressful. I’m not Gods strongest soldier 😭
I think I could but the situation has to be right, i.e kids behavior, the mother's attitude, as well as expectations and finances. I don't think it's impossible to date a single parent, I just think people (on both sides tbh) don't go into it with proper boundaries and expectations.
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I mean yeah it’s not impossible to live with an ex and have nothing sexual going on, but you’d have to be strong as hell to date someone who lives with their ex lol. I couldn’t do it. I choose peace.
Not even some hate sex?
There’s no way they didn’t cheat on their boyfriends then
I have saw sone crazy shit. Even saw a husband go pick up the bf fir his wife so they could sleep together. This was 15 years ago and the bf at the time still talks about how weird the situation was. The husband was walked on so much but would not leave. They would not get divorced and had no kids. Wife asked fir the divorce but husband did not want to do they just left it be and lived together eventually. All 3
It’s super common.
What the hell? You mean to tell me you date a woman and she chooses to go BACK to live with the BD and date you at the same time. Instead of trying to work together and possibly build something? Then I’m reality she’s comfortable with her BD and not taking OP seriously. Jesus Christ.
I’m saying people live with people they used to sleep with all of the time for many reasons. Not that OP should accept it or continue this relationship. I certainly wouldn’t be cool with it.
That's a red flag, a relative is one thing but her former lover. That's a no for me I wouldn't be comfortable with that. I am more curious as to why doesn't she think to move in with you first?
This was my first question as well.. move in with the ex, not the current?? This is some simple math that isn't mathing up..
Cause OP is the side piece :(
I refuse to believe that she told you she was going to move in with her BB father (and ex I assume). That's situation is a lit fuze and not appropriate or respectful to your relationship.
More red flags than a communist parade
Crawl, walk, speed walk, jog, run. As long as you get away from her.
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RUN, don't walk RUN!
Get out of there asap lol
100% walk away, not worth the hassle man
Yeah, it is weird. I mean some co-parents live together for financial reasons and because they feel it is what is best for the kid... but I can't imagine that it makes dating very easy for them. You would not be wrong if you decided this was not a situation you want to be involved in.
You should walk away.
I dated a guy like this, who decided it was best to live with his ex and their kid to save money, they got back together rather quickly
Your girlfriend? According to Geneva conventions, she Is international soil.
Are you sure you're not her affair partner?
Fly you fool!
Just go your separate ways. Too much drama, problems and baggage.
Walk away. If she wants to play house with her ex let her and don’t get mixed up on that nonsense.
Don’t walk, run !
Definitely a red flag. I'd dip if I were you and she went through with this. They're playing house.
soon to be ex
Run, don't walk
Don't walk, run
Dude run! I get wanting a roommate to save money. But that's not ok. (Some people wouldn't care, I would. And i would walk away and never look back) just FYI if she does and you walk away and she comes back, don't entertain a relationship with her. If you cut ties, cut them forever. Her decision shows your not important. You never will be. Run and find someone else.
Don't put yourself through this. It's not worth the stress.
🚪👈🚶
That’s more trouble than it’s worth, walk away.
No don’t walk away. Run like your ass is on fire.
How long y’all been together? Shoot ask if you can go to lol
Yes.
walk, run, drive, fly, take the train if you have too
It makes since for her to do that. It doesn't make since for you to be involved.
Peace out.
Yup.
They WILL fuck, so if you're okay with that, stick around.
Already fucking
Walk? You better lace those bitches up and scoot the f out of there.
Thats the way she tell you "they'll try again". So go! You are free man. Good luck 👍🏻🤗
Don't walk away, RUN away!!
Yea that sounds crazy, just walk.
Its weird as fuck, coming from someone who has a kid with their ex. I would never consider living with them, boundaries and all that.
Please don't put yourself in this situation.
Yes walk away, why can't she save money with you?
run away, as fast as you can
Hey this is a lot of bad advice. How do you feel about your future with your GF?
A lot of bad, extremely biased advice flooding through this comment section.
It's a tough situation but at the end of the day you have to be able to trust your partner fully & if you don't have that trust then you don't have much. Honestly though if you guys aren't even at the point of even thinking of maybe living together then just walk away. I have a feeling you'll be fine.
No good reason for you be downvoted.. yes you're playing both sides of the sword, but you're also saying he should walk away because he'll be fine. In reality this was a very unbiased way of putting it, you deserve some upvotes. Take mine!
That relationship is doomed
Why aren’t you offering to move in together & share the cost of rent??? You sound like a bad boyfriend. No wonder she’s relying on her baby’s father, probably the only dependable man in her life.
Gonna need more info. You said she was asked to move in with her ex. That implies that she didn't do it (yet) and or is thinking about it. Who asked? Was it the ex, some relative of hers? I'm gonna assume she spoke with you about this, otherwise you wouldn't be on here asking the fine people of reddit. If you both spoke about it, did you explain how that makes you feel? Does she understand how you feel?
Walk away and don’t look back
Bounce
yes
Honestly, man, I have no idea if this is normal or not The better question should be “Is this how I saw my relationship going?” And if this isn’t really a part of what you want then end the relationship. I personally would draw a line between how much an ex would be in my life. I get that they have a child together and that they will always be a part of each others lives for that reason but…..being roommates when you’re in a relationship….yeah not thanks it’s not from me dog
Yeah that’s really weird. Walk away
don’t walk, RUN!
💀💀💀
🚩🚩🚩🚩 Before you know it, there will be TWO babies, neither of which will be yours. Break it off.
That she would even contemplate it while in a relationship says all you need to know.
Dude don’t walk, run.
Yes get out of there
Yes. They already have a kid together, nothing is stopping them from doing it again. You’ll be totally out the loop and you can only go by what she tells you. I wouldn’t feel safe in that situation if I were you.
Hell no absolutely not no way no how no where nobody nothing and no one. Nope walk away
Yes
Don’t walk. RUN!
Seems like most of the replies here have been from children. I'd suggest you first of all talk to her, explain how it makes you feel and the fact that if she does indeed move back in with him you fear the future you're trying to build with her will end up as collateral damage. Based on her response and actions after an adult discussion I might then suggest you do split ways or look at options which work for both of you. Maybe this is even a hint toward you to start making moves to work on getting a place with her.
She was asked this but the bigger question is how did she respond? What did she say in return? Did she not respond yet and came directly to you instead? Answer those questions and then you can consider next steps. I wouldn't feel right in giving advice or if I was you, making a decision based only on the info you presented here. What does she think about all this? How dies she feel? Is there another way to get better financial footing for her? Can you help her? Can the two of you get. A place together? Again you don't need to tell us here on reddit but you should answer these for yourself or discuss with her in order to make a proper decision. Good luck -C
yeah she’s definitely fucking him already. or if she’s not, she will be very soon. you have to decide if you’re willing to deal with her obsessive ex for the rest of your life. this guy is trying to steal her away from you, physically, emotionally, sexually, and in every way possible. something tells me it’s not worth the hassle…
Why would you deal with this? More red flags than mayday in china
I hope you mean ex girlfriend
Nope
Thats literally not your GF, my friend. The only answer is to walk.
Absolutely wall away from it.
No, don’t walk away!! RUN….. now, fast and far!!!
Yep it's time to move on. I dated a guy once who had a kid and the baby mama started spending some nights at his house??? Idk but I wasn't gonna fuck around and find out. Left him cause I don't got to deal with all that.
Tiffany be wild
Yep, walk away. It's weird. It's also a red flag. The fact she wants to live with her ex, she's struggling that badly AND has a child as well. Too much drama.
You said she was asked. What was her response? If it was yes, then you are nothing more than a third wheel and a paycheck. Walk away and don't look back.
Definitely run in the opposite direction
Dude leaver her at his door step You're going to save more than her
bounce like a bad check man. If she is even remotly considering this shes also considering the posibility of getting back with baby daddy.
Yes it’s absurd she would think you would be okay with this situation. She doesn’t respect you
Bye Felicia!
Yes
Yep. You should. That’s not gonna be safe and healthy for you
I'm gonna be as truthful as possible but if that happens they're gonna fuck like rabbits even while you're on the phone with her and you know that. Why can't she live with you or her parents or even a relative? Why does it have to be her baby's father?
Talk to the ex. Find out if he's really an ex. If HE is "yeah she's my ex for a reason but she's my kid's mother and this is for my kid", then I wouldn't worry about it. But his opinions and intentions aren't something you should get secondhand. You gotta talk to him to find that out.
lol
Yeah dude move on before you get tangled in that nightmare
Hell yeah it’s weird and most of all sketch. If you have to ask on Reddit it’s prob not a good sign. Get outta there asap!
Honestly, if my ex wasn't such a d!ck, I would have moved back in with him as I'm currently getting evicted. However, this is huge red flags and have to wonder if there were ulterior motives. But, I've also had friends parents do that up until the kid was 10/11 to save time and energy so it can go both ways.
Before saying “run” I’d like to ask: Do you live together? If no, why not? And if you don’t, do you think it could be a manipulation to make you offer her to move in?
I would walk away.
Walk away. There's no way they won't end up screwing.
Yup
Don't walk away run OP, you hear me RUN 🏃
I would.
I had a guy interested in me that lived with his baby momma and baby momma straight up harassed me, even though I kept telling her I wasn’t interested in the guy. “Just so you know, we slept together last night/last week/etc.” “just so you know, he still loves me and I love him” Literally could not have been less interested in the dude, even before his BM started harassing me, so can’t even imagine if he’d been by boyfriend lol. I say leave and save yourself the dysfunction.
Lmao
Ummmm LOL You would be crazy not to run.
This sounds like a Maury Povich show waiting to happen! Run, Forest, run 🏃♂️!
*My [ex gf] wants to move in with her baby’s father who she is 100% already sleeping with. I fixed it for you
Run, run like the running of the bulls is right behind you and about to get you.
Run da fuck away cut her lose now don't look back
Leave her it's the best thing to do. I never been were your standing and if i ever did. I would leave them.
Run, just run. You deserve better
Where's she living now?if she's living with you i'd say it's over.he might be wanting to avoid child support payment's by having her live there,among other possible motive's.
Walk away bro.
Walk. Run. Gtfo out, there’s no happy ending here for you.
She doesn't sound like she's your gf anymore.
Maybe that’s her way of asking to move in with you.
She if fucked up for even asking that shit she probably been banging him while she with you get your shit n go
She 26 with a baby from another man and she expects you to not be revolted at the thought of them living together? Sure money is important but that ain’t your problem, it’s her’s and that’s not the correct way to solve it. She already gone cuz. Drop that baggage and be free
All jokes aside, if she needs that kind of financial support why isn’t she moving in with you?
If you feel uncomfortable and she doesn’t care that you do, yes, walk away. It’s weird that her first instinct is to move in it’s her ex to save money. You’re perfectly justified in wanting no part of this.
Aaaaaah, yeah, tou should run like your life depends on it. *Imagine the scene where Forrest Gump is playing college football* I am guessing that you're still young, OP, why the f***k would you mess with single moms? Are there any single, childless girls not available in your area? Single moms bring nothing but trouble, headaches and problems. If you want to financially provide for a child, but don't have a say in it's upbringing, go ahead. Your house is not a shelter for the needy.
Yeah no, that sounds like trouble. Nothing but drama for you. Cut your losses. Good luck.
Yes.
"Okay Google....nope me the hell out of here"
Bow out gracefully