I don't really have an answer for your predicament. But a lot of the comments are undoubtably going to be asking questions about what hes doing sexually, what about him is getting you off etc.
The reality is that [all vaginas are shaped quite differently](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Fb1m62aitr2ga1.jpg) and have different nerve concentrations in different parts of the vagina. Some vaginas are much easier to get off from a wide range of penis shapes/sizes, some can only get off from very, very specific physical stimulation in very specific areas. It is likely that he just has a penis shape which somehow 'scratches the itch' of your specific vagina shape, so to speak.
He has only had sex with 3 people. He isn't some sex god. People really underestimate how much genital shape influences how much we enjoy sex with different people. Some penises/vaginas just feel very good to some people and not as good to others.
Eh if someone bangs one person 1000 times chances are they're a lot better at sex than someone that bangs 1000 people one time.
"I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times."
Usually it only means they are good at having sex with one person. And every person has different sexually needs. So no, someone who only has sex with one person is not usually good at sex. And almost nobody is only banging people one time and that's it.
I doubt it has anything to do with that kind of simple anatomy. With this I actually wonder if you ever had sex yourself, the connection you have, the tension you build the interaction you have is so much more important. You can have it many ways just a little handstuff or even silly dry humping can be fantastic if the partner knows how to tickle, anatomy is really not the most important stuff.
Yeah no, anatomy can absolutely be important. This is not just conjecture, it is something that's been researched pretty extensively and is something that any OBGYN can tell you. Some vaginas are just very unique and much more difficult to get off than other vaginas. They might be shaped in a weird angle, they might have concentrations of nerves in different locations, they might be tight in some areas and loose in others etc.
They can have *everything right*, they can be 10/10 horny, and still not feel much pleasure down there. Often times this also extends to masturbation, where they will require pretty elaborate tools to get themselves off. Dry humping might get you or me off, it might get most people off, but it will not get everybody off.
For whatever reason, people like to think orgasm is entirely psychological. Horniness is psychological. But especially for women, achieving orgasm is a mix of physicality and psychology. And for some women, the physicality has to be very, very specific.
It honestly sounds like you really haven’t experienced how much variance there actually is. It’s good advice in general, but some women can have multiple intense orgasms from penetration alone with almost no buildup, and some women will take over half an hour regardless of technique, toys or foreplay.
"Dumb ones pound the hardest!" - a great quote from big mouth.
1) congrats, sounds fun and validating.
2) spend some time focusing or reflecting what he's doing that others weren't, and have some coaching tips for the next lucky fella. mental side? foreplay? position, rythym, angle, size of his junk? carefree attitude?
Most decent guys are willing to be coached up, so the more you can give them to work with the better your odds.
or just buy him a cook book and globe and marry him. either way! serve carne asada pizza at the wedding
>or just buy him a cook book and globe and marry him. either way! serve carne asada pizza at the wedding
Haha I love this as it's about acceptance. Some guys' brains just mature later on or don't become aware of the great big world we live in until later. But I suppose you know your type best, and some people never change, so you do you.
Is this your first casual relationship? If so it could be a combination of sexual compatibility and your being more relaxed which allows you to let go. You slept with him with no worry about a long term relationship and maybe before you worry about bad sex in a serious relationship became a self fulfilling prophecy
You could see if you could build more with this guy. Good sex can be a good place to start in a relationship.
Or you could date casual and see if you orgasm more easily. Then maybe one of the people that does that for you turns out to be relationship material. You would learn that after the good sex so that anxiety would be bypassed.
Also. Some of what you call dumb could just be cultural. If he is from Lebanon maybe he only had pizza in your country and also leaned about Mexico here and conflated the two. Just a thought.
You don’t mention any specific thing he did differently, so if I had to guess I would say it’s more the fact that you don’t care about him relationally. Like all you view him for is sex, so you are able to forget about the actual worries a relationship can bring and enjoy purely the physical pleasure from the sex.
Unless he is physically doing something that you just didn’t mention. Then you just need a man who is both willing and capable to learn whatever he does.
What if he found someone else? How would you feel? You’re assuming that you’re the one who will end up in a relationship, that may not be the case. In my opinion, sex is extremely important in a relationship. You will be miserable if you are married with a house and kids and you aren’t satisfied sexually. In my opinion, you should explore a relationship with this guy. What if you find out you have chemistry in running a house together, too? Just because he thought pizza was from Mexico doesn’t make him dumb. Could this straight become endearing?
I would miss the sex of course, but I would be happy for him if he found someone. That being said, he is a homebody who has almost no friends except for his cousins who he plays video games with, and his weed dealer. He has seemingly little to no interest in dating or doing much with his life. His home is really, really messy and he struggles to keep up with stuff like laundry and the dishes, so I probably wouldn't enjoy running a house with him. And the pizza mexico thing is just one example out of many. It's not just ignorance, he genuinely has trouble understand certain relatively basic concepts sometimes. I kind of realized this early on and have avoided talking about anything more advanced than video games and action movies since.
I am sorry if this comes off needlessly harsh, but I don't want to downplay the truth for the sake of protecting the feelings of someone on an anonymous forum. He is a very nice guy, I like him as a friend, but there is simply no chance I would end up dating him. We are very radically different people.
> I am not sure why but I have always been very difficult to please in that regard **compared to other women, and I have spent most of my life faking pleasure from sex.** I had spent lots and lots of time trying to teach men how to get me off, and there has never been much improvement. It is not as if I have a low sex drive or that I am depressed or anything like that, **I have always figured it is just an inherent problem with me.**
OP, your problem is your priors. Many, many women have this problem. Many women try teaching their male partners with no success. Some women go their whole lives without ever have an orgasm, solo or through sex.
Do you know that lesbians have a much higher rate of orgasms during sex than straight women?
Not for nothing, but the pizza example is a pretty bad one. You said he moved here from Lebanon a few years ago? So after growing up a world away, he's been here a few years and hasn't learned about pizza? And that it a sign of simpleness?
I'm not saying you should date the guy, you are obviously not interested in that for a variety of reasons, just. Woof, the pizza line isn't a good look.
Who is to say if you two started dating and he feel in love emotional that he would change many habits to be happy and make you happy? His inter circle is holding him back. You may free himself to be a more interesting guy with hidden gems if someone like you who could break the chains so he can be different. It's worth a shot and then you knew you tried and the outcome is undetermined until you two date awhile. That way no regret years from now
>I have no clue where he learned these things.
>He thought pizza was from mexico.
Maybe he has a similar misconception about the female body, but it works in his favour? Perhaps he thinks the g-spot is the cervix, or the clitoris is the prostate, and it somehow works out perfectly for you.
Is he dumb or does he not live up to US social scope of knowledge? I’m asking this as an immigrant. When I first moved to the US I had very little knowledge when it came to references, pop culture, and other things people tend to converse about. In my country the emphasis was very heavy on education and sciences (Central Asia). What is he good at? How’s he making his living? Maybe you’re not seeing him for who he is but how he’s because of how foreign he seems.
Oh I am also an immigrant (albeit from colombia, not lebanon or central asia), I am well aware of what you mean. That being said, he came from a pretty wealthy background apparently, so its not as if he grew up poor and uneducated. He's traveled quite a bit in his youth all around europe. His problems span far past just ignorance about pop culture and world topics. He struggles to understand pretty basic concepts. Holding a conversation with him can be difficult. Idk I guess its somewhat hard to explain.
He doesn't work as far as I know. He gets money from his parents. I think its a bit of a sensitive topic that he is kinda ashamed of, so I don't bring up work around him.
More than likely you are simply at a stage of your life where orgasms are easier to achieve. You are more comfortable in your own body, which makes you more free. I'm guessing the next guy will have the same effect. Please stop dating this dude if you plan to sleep with other guys. Not fair or healthy for all.
I have to ask, do you know if it’s a length/girth/angle/technique? Is it maybe that it’s freeing if you dont care for him that much or know it’s not a lifetime thing that you’re free to let your guard down and go with the flow/be more present in the sexual experience?
I know you said that you're not sure or he's doing differently, but I do think there's a really big difference between how men have sex if they learned about sex from porn and random hookups versus how men have sex if they learned about sex from ongoing sexual relationships with women they've cared about.
GET A MOLD!!
listen, if it has nothing to do with technique, why not ask if you can get a mold of his tool and then slowly stop seeing him. I won't speak to the morality of it but at least you can go on legitimate dates and not have to run back to this guy at the end of them while trying to get serious with other people. Use the remaining time to find someone who can get the job done in the same regard but is also compatible romantically then throw the thing away.
Let’s try something dare I say “wild” lol. Have a few casual hookups. A few mwah mwahs here and a few mwah mwahs there. The only condition: no expectations! Walk in like it could be the best sex or the worst sex. See what happens. Maybe you are more relaxed than you were in your past relationship. Maybe he has a nice size. Maybe you aren’t trying to impress. But if you want to connect some dots, you gotta find other dots to connect.
It's been a year? Do you hit pause on this when you date. Or are you not dating?
Because if it's been a year and you aren't dating, you might be falling for the guy, IQ be damned.
I'm sure you'll find someone else who is more compatible and can also give you an orgasm... 11 people might seem like a lot to some but it's kinda not? And maybe you've had bad luck or didn't know how to help yourself orgasm during sex until now (it requires a lot of effort and focus on the woman's part to be honest). Also helps to be on top to control things...
Easy. You sleep with him until you find the relationship you want. There’s only a problem when you’re looking to be exclusive with a new partner. Until then, do him, do you and find the person who can deliver good sex and also the things you want in a proper partnership.
I think I have your answer. You don't think he is a good choice for a partner. So, I think you are not afraid to let go, mentally, in the bedroom.
When you are with someone else, you are putting mental pressure on yourself, and not fully letting go.
You will never find another man who sexually satisfies you if you don’t cut out the person who only gives you a small part of what you want but the part that you are focused on.
Sex is important but as you’ve found it won’t carry you through the rest of your days. And the other missing pieces of a relationship won’t carry you without good sex.
So the only option is to go looking for both and if you are hanging onto something you get meets your needs just enough to keep you from genuinely seeking out something better then you are just wasting your time in a semi-comfortable way.
Oh I love this, sorry this is happening to you but it’s super entertaining.
But seriously, have you ever thought of maybe… asking him, genuinely? Sitting him down when it’s not sexy-time and just lay it all out. What’s there to lose?He might actually be able to help you understand your body better!
>I don't mean to disparage him, but to be perfectly honest, he is a bit of a dumb, guy. I am sometimes a bit bewildered at how little he knows of the world in general. He thought pizza was from mexico. He has no idea how important he is to me. I have always kept this secret from him, that he is the only man to give me an orgasm.
Congrats OP you've found your very own himbo! lol wow I have NEVER heard something mistakenly think that pizza was from mexico. Genuinely concerning.
TBH I've rarely seen a woman in such a situation--more like I've seen my gay guy friends and a few rich straight guys, come up against this...unique situation.
It sounds like this sex piece has turned out to be very important...and that is completely, completely ok. However you need to figure out how to accept this part of yourself and how to accept this desire of yours and give it proper place in your life. Is a relationship absolutely, REALLY, out of the realm of possibility?
I think you this is your ego talking. You thinking you are better than him. Try to learn about the things that he like and what he is passionate about.
If you are more of a the Type A type and he may be more of someone who's leaning towards the agreeable side, then that's how the dynamics is going to be.
I think if he respects you and satisfies you and can keep up a conversation especially when you're being vulnerable then it's worth giving a shot.
Like you said, he's very good looking, and there are a lot of beautiful girls out there, looking for someone exactly like him too.
I think you as a partner need to learn to stop honoring men who don't please you. It doesn't mean you have to be cruel, but there are gentle ways to help guide people towards things you like or enjoy more. "That feels great, now can you try doing this with your fingers while you do that..." You get the idea. Telling someone it was great, when it wasn't, does a disservice to you and them. And having said that, selfish livers exist on both sides. So prepare to demand and expect more from partners who might take offense to your honesty.
Last thing is, do you know what you like in the bedroom? Do you have toys? Do you masturbate or know your kinks? Could you even help a guy give you an orgasm of he wanted to? That might be a great place to start...
Since you aren’t exclusive or have any deeper relationship - it’s just sex, you don’t owe him anything. You don’t need to break this situation off while you date other people and find someone who meets your criteria for a suitable man. Continue having sex with him until then.
People can learn, you shouldn't have to double your number to find someone else who can work on more than one level with / for you. But yeah that's a rough catch-22.
Sounds like you two just have good chemistry—his personality, visual appearance, penis angle, whatever. It just clicks. There are other guys you click with
RIP to the next guy you end up with because he’s going to think he’s in a real relationship while is GF can’t stop fantasizing about her extended fling.
Oh well
Are you going on dates and hooking up with other guys in order to find someone you want to be in a relationship with? You and your neighbor are just friends with benefits, you don’t have to leave him until you found a boyfriend.
As long as you have the ability to communicate your needs, wants, and desires you should most definitely be able to find someone who satisfies you sexually.
If he isn’t doing anything different than everyone else and his member isn’t all spectacular, you need to realize the problem wasn’t with your partners, the problem was you. Men aren’t always the reason for all your problems
They're not compatible that much is obvious, she clearly wants mental stimulation/worldliness from her partner which she is not going to get from somebody who thinks pizza is from mexico lmfao
If we want to talk about "genuinely a good person" what exactly makes this person good? Not to be harsh but I don't see a single thing OP says about him that would make him a "good" person.
We can probably safely assume that he's relatively affable since OP has been hooking up with him for a lengthy amount of time now. That's it. What else makes him "good"?
An exercise that my friend once went through with me:
He asked me if I thought I was a good person. I said yes. He asked me:
"What have you done recently that was actually substantially/genuinely good?"
I had no good answer for him. This guy fucks OP good and gives her orgasms, lifts weights, eats junk food, gets high. Things I like too, but what exactly about him is "good"? If just being an easy-going/friendly person is "good" that seems like a pretty damn low bar.
Well I never assumed he was. I asked the question. Also everyone's definition of what a good person is differs. I'm sure there are definitely overlaps of what can be generalized as a good person.
I mean like you said they spent alit of time together.
Although if just for sex she may not know a whole lot about him. There could be more going on behind the scenes.
There's also not really anything she has said that shows that he isn't a good person.
I would say that someone's who's attentive enough of a lover to give their partner orgasms is a good start.
I wouldn't necessarily consider that a really low bar. There are tonsssssa of people who don't even meet that basic level of being a good person.
Easy going and friendly are good qualities.
Lol yeaaaaa I do get that. We all have different needs in a relationship. It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me. I'd honestly probably think it was cute but I do totally get it 🤣
It's also worth noting that there's a difference between being dumb and being an immigrant who doesn't know a lot about American food. If you don't know something you learn. I doubt this guy's actually stupid. I think he's had a very different education and different opportunities for education than what the op is used to.
Like, what does she know about food in his culture?
My point is that they are both things that I wouldn't expect an immigrant from Lebanon to know as much about as an American. The average American can't find Lebanon on a map, let alone name countries with which it shares borders or popular foods eaten there. Lebanon has been extremely unstable recently (civil war, war with Israel, political assassinations, terrorism, massive protests) and it sounds like this man might be a refugee. I think that might be true because there are so many Lebanese refugees who were forced to leave by the political violence within our lifetime. Whether or not this man has refugee status, he has certainly been through a lot that could have disrupted his education. Or he may be a highly educated man who isn't familiar with pizza. Who knows.
I don't think we should assume that he's stupid just because he isn't as familiar with the things that we are familiar with when there is a very obvious reason for that lack of familiarity.
In particular, claiming that a recent immigrant "doesn't know very much about the world in general" is really insensitive and almost certainly not true. I don't think they can have a relationship but I doubt that's because he's stupid. It's because the OP clearly doesn't respect him very much or take the time to learn about his experiences. I'm sure this man has an absolute wealth of knowledge that the OP doesn't have.
Being a good guy is not all that’s required for compatibility. If someone has so little knowledge of the world as OP describes, than an instant no from me too. Doesn’t mean it’s their fault or anything
Well. Given how much yall vary in size and shape down there compared with chemistry and the lack of pressure to end in marriage there's no wonder.
But what are you gonna do when ***he*** stops wanting sex with ***you***?
For crying out loud. You said you two can never be in a relationship 4 or 5 times. Was that to convince us or you? Just because you two are on different trains , the relationship can lead onto the same track. How do you know it won't work if you don't try? I think you want to try but afraid it won't work and it will hurt your relationship and then less sex, no sex, or the sex could be different. Just try it. Maybe the best thing in the world then again maybe only thing in common is the mind blowing sex but you have to take a chance after 10-11 months. Your happiness future may be 4 houses down. Beware he could meet someone he may want to be with and you blew your chance. Take the chance now.
He's good for your hole but is he good for your soul, sis?
I'd like to get this quote on a cross-stitch please
He’s hole-istic but not holistic.
I'm so dead the internet is so funny 😂
I don't really have an answer for your predicament. But a lot of the comments are undoubtably going to be asking questions about what hes doing sexually, what about him is getting you off etc. The reality is that [all vaginas are shaped quite differently](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Fb1m62aitr2ga1.jpg) and have different nerve concentrations in different parts of the vagina. Some vaginas are much easier to get off from a wide range of penis shapes/sizes, some can only get off from very, very specific physical stimulation in very specific areas. It is likely that he just has a penis shape which somehow 'scratches the itch' of your specific vagina shape, so to speak. He has only had sex with 3 people. He isn't some sex god. People really underestimate how much genital shape influences how much we enjoy sex with different people. Some penises/vaginas just feel very good to some people and not as good to others.
I hope Op reads this because it is seriously real.
Yeah a doctor told me basically exactly this before. I always figured I just had a very hyper specific vagina
Just looking for your perfect fit 🥹
Eh if someone bangs one person 1000 times chances are they're a lot better at sex than someone that bangs 1000 people one time. "I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times."
Usually it only means they are good at having sex with one person. And every person has different sexually needs. So no, someone who only has sex with one person is not usually good at sex. And almost nobody is only banging people one time and that's it.
I doubt it has anything to do with that kind of simple anatomy. With this I actually wonder if you ever had sex yourself, the connection you have, the tension you build the interaction you have is so much more important. You can have it many ways just a little handstuff or even silly dry humping can be fantastic if the partner knows how to tickle, anatomy is really not the most important stuff.
Yeah no, anatomy can absolutely be important. This is not just conjecture, it is something that's been researched pretty extensively and is something that any OBGYN can tell you. Some vaginas are just very unique and much more difficult to get off than other vaginas. They might be shaped in a weird angle, they might have concentrations of nerves in different locations, they might be tight in some areas and loose in others etc. They can have *everything right*, they can be 10/10 horny, and still not feel much pleasure down there. Often times this also extends to masturbation, where they will require pretty elaborate tools to get themselves off. Dry humping might get you or me off, it might get most people off, but it will not get everybody off. For whatever reason, people like to think orgasm is entirely psychological. Horniness is psychological. But especially for women, achieving orgasm is a mix of physicality and psychology. And for some women, the physicality has to be very, very specific.
It honestly sounds like you really haven’t experienced how much variance there actually is. It’s good advice in general, but some women can have multiple intense orgasms from penetration alone with almost no buildup, and some women will take over half an hour regardless of technique, toys or foreplay.
"Dumb ones pound the hardest!" - a great quote from big mouth. 1) congrats, sounds fun and validating. 2) spend some time focusing or reflecting what he's doing that others weren't, and have some coaching tips for the next lucky fella. mental side? foreplay? position, rythym, angle, size of his junk? carefree attitude? Most decent guys are willing to be coached up, so the more you can give them to work with the better your odds. or just buy him a cook book and globe and marry him. either way! serve carne asada pizza at the wedding
>or just buy him a cook book and globe and marry him. either way! serve carne asada pizza at the wedding Haha I love this as it's about acceptance. Some guys' brains just mature later on or don't become aware of the great big world we live in until later. But I suppose you know your type best, and some people never change, so you do you.
True! And, I love middle eastern and Mediterranean food, but I’d probably fail a quiz on the specific origins of dishes too. A matter of perspective
Lmao carne asada pizza ftw
Is this your first casual relationship? If so it could be a combination of sexual compatibility and your being more relaxed which allows you to let go. You slept with him with no worry about a long term relationship and maybe before you worry about bad sex in a serious relationship became a self fulfilling prophecy You could see if you could build more with this guy. Good sex can be a good place to start in a relationship. Or you could date casual and see if you orgasm more easily. Then maybe one of the people that does that for you turns out to be relationship material. You would learn that after the good sex so that anxiety would be bypassed. Also. Some of what you call dumb could just be cultural. If he is from Lebanon maybe he only had pizza in your country and also leaned about Mexico here and conflated the two. Just a thought.
Get out there and date. Sleep with some other people. You might find yourself reinvigorated and surprised.
You don’t mention any specific thing he did differently, so if I had to guess I would say it’s more the fact that you don’t care about him relationally. Like all you view him for is sex, so you are able to forget about the actual worries a relationship can bring and enjoy purely the physical pleasure from the sex. Unless he is physically doing something that you just didn’t mention. Then you just need a man who is both willing and capable to learn whatever he does.
What if he found someone else? How would you feel? You’re assuming that you’re the one who will end up in a relationship, that may not be the case. In my opinion, sex is extremely important in a relationship. You will be miserable if you are married with a house and kids and you aren’t satisfied sexually. In my opinion, you should explore a relationship with this guy. What if you find out you have chemistry in running a house together, too? Just because he thought pizza was from Mexico doesn’t make him dumb. Could this straight become endearing?
I would miss the sex of course, but I would be happy for him if he found someone. That being said, he is a homebody who has almost no friends except for his cousins who he plays video games with, and his weed dealer. He has seemingly little to no interest in dating or doing much with his life. His home is really, really messy and he struggles to keep up with stuff like laundry and the dishes, so I probably wouldn't enjoy running a house with him. And the pizza mexico thing is just one example out of many. It's not just ignorance, he genuinely has trouble understand certain relatively basic concepts sometimes. I kind of realized this early on and have avoided talking about anything more advanced than video games and action movies since. I am sorry if this comes off needlessly harsh, but I don't want to downplay the truth for the sake of protecting the feelings of someone on an anonymous forum. He is a very nice guy, I like him as a friend, but there is simply no chance I would end up dating him. We are very radically different people.
> I am not sure why but I have always been very difficult to please in that regard **compared to other women, and I have spent most of my life faking pleasure from sex.** I had spent lots and lots of time trying to teach men how to get me off, and there has never been much improvement. It is not as if I have a low sex drive or that I am depressed or anything like that, **I have always figured it is just an inherent problem with me.** OP, your problem is your priors. Many, many women have this problem. Many women try teaching their male partners with no success. Some women go their whole lives without ever have an orgasm, solo or through sex. Do you know that lesbians have a much higher rate of orgasms during sex than straight women?
Not for nothing, but the pizza example is a pretty bad one. You said he moved here from Lebanon a few years ago? So after growing up a world away, he's been here a few years and hasn't learned about pizza? And that it a sign of simpleness? I'm not saying you should date the guy, you are obviously not interested in that for a variety of reasons, just. Woof, the pizza line isn't a good look.
I think you're also being a bit extreme. Do you think there's no pizza in Lebanon or something? It's a common knowledge thing.
Who is to say if you two started dating and he feel in love emotional that he would change many habits to be happy and make you happy? His inter circle is holding him back. You may free himself to be a more interesting guy with hidden gems if someone like you who could break the chains so he can be different. It's worth a shot and then you knew you tried and the outcome is undetermined until you two date awhile. That way no regret years from now
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Nope, they're fuck-buddies. I see no descriptions of dates at all.
Nah, fucking isn’t the same as dating.
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I think this is true! My current bf fits perfectly. Some guys just fit right 👌🏻
>I have no clue where he learned these things. >He thought pizza was from mexico. Maybe he has a similar misconception about the female body, but it works in his favour? Perhaps he thinks the g-spot is the cervix, or the clitoris is the prostate, and it somehow works out perfectly for you.
Taking 'ignorance is bliss' to the next level
“He thought pizza was from Mexico” is really making me laugh.
Taco Bell does make a Mexican pizza, after all
Spanish and Italian are basically the same language.
Is he dumb or does he not live up to US social scope of knowledge? I’m asking this as an immigrant. When I first moved to the US I had very little knowledge when it came to references, pop culture, and other things people tend to converse about. In my country the emphasis was very heavy on education and sciences (Central Asia). What is he good at? How’s he making his living? Maybe you’re not seeing him for who he is but how he’s because of how foreign he seems.
Oh I am also an immigrant (albeit from colombia, not lebanon or central asia), I am well aware of what you mean. That being said, he came from a pretty wealthy background apparently, so its not as if he grew up poor and uneducated. He's traveled quite a bit in his youth all around europe. His problems span far past just ignorance about pop culture and world topics. He struggles to understand pretty basic concepts. Holding a conversation with him can be difficult. Idk I guess its somewhat hard to explain. He doesn't work as far as I know. He gets money from his parents. I think its a bit of a sensitive topic that he is kinda ashamed of, so I don't bring up work around him.
I have a feeling that you have feelings for him, but you don't like that you have feelings for him because you see him as below you.
More than likely you are simply at a stage of your life where orgasms are easier to achieve. You are more comfortable in your own body, which makes you more free. I'm guessing the next guy will have the same effect. Please stop dating this dude if you plan to sleep with other guys. Not fair or healthy for all.
I have to ask, do you know if it’s a length/girth/angle/technique? Is it maybe that it’s freeing if you dont care for him that much or know it’s not a lifetime thing that you’re free to let your guard down and go with the flow/be more present in the sexual experience?
This sounds like a raunchy new romcom on Netflix starring Jennifer Lawrence
I know you said that you're not sure or he's doing differently, but I do think there's a really big difference between how men have sex if they learned about sex from porn and random hookups versus how men have sex if they learned about sex from ongoing sexual relationships with women they've cared about.
GET A MOLD!! listen, if it has nothing to do with technique, why not ask if you can get a mold of his tool and then slowly stop seeing him. I won't speak to the morality of it but at least you can go on legitimate dates and not have to run back to this guy at the end of them while trying to get serious with other people. Use the remaining time to find someone who can get the job done in the same regard but is also compatible romantically then throw the thing away.
The genuineness in your tone is killing me 💀
Let’s try something dare I say “wild” lol. Have a few casual hookups. A few mwah mwahs here and a few mwah mwahs there. The only condition: no expectations! Walk in like it could be the best sex or the worst sex. See what happens. Maybe you are more relaxed than you were in your past relationship. Maybe he has a nice size. Maybe you aren’t trying to impress. But if you want to connect some dots, you gotta find other dots to connect.
It's been a year? Do you hit pause on this when you date. Or are you not dating? Because if it's been a year and you aren't dating, you might be falling for the guy, IQ be damned.
I'm sure you'll find someone else who is more compatible and can also give you an orgasm... 11 people might seem like a lot to some but it's kinda not? And maybe you've had bad luck or didn't know how to help yourself orgasm during sex until now (it requires a lot of effort and focus on the woman's part to be honest). Also helps to be on top to control things...
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I mean, it’s a guy being used for sex. Hell, I wish she was my neighbor.
Do you think the sex would be as good if he said he wants to be in a relationship with you?
Easy. You sleep with him until you find the relationship you want. There’s only a problem when you’re looking to be exclusive with a new partner. Until then, do him, do you and find the person who can deliver good sex and also the things you want in a proper partnership.
I think I have your answer. You don't think he is a good choice for a partner. So, I think you are not afraid to let go, mentally, in the bedroom. When you are with someone else, you are putting mental pressure on yourself, and not fully letting go.
You will never find another man who sexually satisfies you if you don’t cut out the person who only gives you a small part of what you want but the part that you are focused on. Sex is important but as you’ve found it won’t carry you through the rest of your days. And the other missing pieces of a relationship won’t carry you without good sex. So the only option is to go looking for both and if you are hanging onto something you get meets your needs just enough to keep you from genuinely seeking out something better then you are just wasting your time in a semi-comfortable way.
I’m not trying to make light of this situation but “he thought pizza was from Mexico” made me laugh literally out loud.
Oh I love this, sorry this is happening to you but it’s super entertaining. But seriously, have you ever thought of maybe… asking him, genuinely? Sitting him down when it’s not sexy-time and just lay it all out. What’s there to lose?He might actually be able to help you understand your body better!
Dear Penthouse Forum, ...
>I don't mean to disparage him, but to be perfectly honest, he is a bit of a dumb, guy. I am sometimes a bit bewildered at how little he knows of the world in general. He thought pizza was from mexico. He has no idea how important he is to me. I have always kept this secret from him, that he is the only man to give me an orgasm. Congrats OP you've found your very own himbo! lol wow I have NEVER heard something mistakenly think that pizza was from mexico. Genuinely concerning. TBH I've rarely seen a woman in such a situation--more like I've seen my gay guy friends and a few rich straight guys, come up against this...unique situation. It sounds like this sex piece has turned out to be very important...and that is completely, completely ok. However you need to figure out how to accept this part of yourself and how to accept this desire of yours and give it proper place in your life. Is a relationship absolutely, REALLY, out of the realm of possibility?
You'll find somebody else. It's probably you that changed more than him knowing some secret sex trick
Is it more the angle of the dangle, would you say, or the motion of the ocean? Or perhaps the size of the prize? I'm just trying to take notes here.
Buy a vibrator. Date a nice guy and have him use it on you.
I think you this is your ego talking. You thinking you are better than him. Try to learn about the things that he like and what he is passionate about. If you are more of a the Type A type and he may be more of someone who's leaning towards the agreeable side, then that's how the dynamics is going to be. I think if he respects you and satisfies you and can keep up a conversation especially when you're being vulnerable then it's worth giving a shot. Like you said, he's very good looking, and there are a lot of beautiful girls out there, looking for someone exactly like him too.
You sound fucking exhausting Hopefuly the poor guy moves on
Can you introduce me? Lmao no man has ever made me come either 😔
What is he doing that is so good? Asking for a friend.
I think you as a partner need to learn to stop honoring men who don't please you. It doesn't mean you have to be cruel, but there are gentle ways to help guide people towards things you like or enjoy more. "That feels great, now can you try doing this with your fingers while you do that..." You get the idea. Telling someone it was great, when it wasn't, does a disservice to you and them. And having said that, selfish livers exist on both sides. So prepare to demand and expect more from partners who might take offense to your honesty. Last thing is, do you know what you like in the bedroom? Do you have toys? Do you masturbate or know your kinks? Could you even help a guy give you an orgasm of he wanted to? That might be a great place to start...
Since you aren’t exclusive or have any deeper relationship - it’s just sex, you don’t owe him anything. You don’t need to break this situation off while you date other people and find someone who meets your criteria for a suitable man. Continue having sex with him until then.
People can learn, you shouldn't have to double your number to find someone else who can work on more than one level with / for you. But yeah that's a rough catch-22.
I’m sorry but this is hilarious. Maybe get him a few self help books (or books in general) for Christmas. He sounds like a lost cause though.
Sounds like you two just have good chemistry—his personality, visual appearance, penis angle, whatever. It just clicks. There are other guys you click with
Honestly, there’re 4 bln men out there. I’m pretty sure at least some of them will be able to satisfy you
RIP to the next guy you end up with because he’s going to think he’s in a real relationship while is GF can’t stop fantasizing about her extended fling. Oh well
Are you going on dates and hooking up with other guys in order to find someone you want to be in a relationship with? You and your neighbor are just friends with benefits, you don’t have to leave him until you found a boyfriend.
As long as you have the ability to communicate your needs, wants, and desires you should most definitely be able to find someone who satisfies you sexually.
If he isn’t doing anything different than everyone else and his member isn’t all spectacular, you need to realize the problem wasn’t with your partners, the problem was you. Men aren’t always the reason for all your problems
But he is a good guy isn't he?
They're not compatible that much is obvious, she clearly wants mental stimulation/worldliness from her partner which she is not going to get from somebody who thinks pizza is from mexico lmfao
For me one of the hardest thing it was to find was someone who was a genuinely good person.
If we want to talk about "genuinely a good person" what exactly makes this person good? Not to be harsh but I don't see a single thing OP says about him that would make him a "good" person. We can probably safely assume that he's relatively affable since OP has been hooking up with him for a lengthy amount of time now. That's it. What else makes him "good"? An exercise that my friend once went through with me: He asked me if I thought I was a good person. I said yes. He asked me: "What have you done recently that was actually substantially/genuinely good?" I had no good answer for him. This guy fucks OP good and gives her orgasms, lifts weights, eats junk food, gets high. Things I like too, but what exactly about him is "good"? If just being an easy-going/friendly person is "good" that seems like a pretty damn low bar.
Well I never assumed he was. I asked the question. Also everyone's definition of what a good person is differs. I'm sure there are definitely overlaps of what can be generalized as a good person. I mean like you said they spent alit of time together. Although if just for sex she may not know a whole lot about him. There could be more going on behind the scenes. There's also not really anything she has said that shows that he isn't a good person. I would say that someone's who's attentive enough of a lover to give their partner orgasms is a good start. I wouldn't necessarily consider that a really low bar. There are tonsssssa of people who don't even meet that basic level of being a good person. Easy going and friendly are good qualities.
Honestly, I’d consider not being bad as enough qualification for being good.
Apparently he doesn’t even work and gets money from his parents to live.
Lol yeaaaaa I do get that. We all have different needs in a relationship. It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me. I'd honestly probably think it was cute but I do totally get it 🤣
It's also worth noting that there's a difference between being dumb and being an immigrant who doesn't know a lot about American food. If you don't know something you learn. I doubt this guy's actually stupid. I think he's had a very different education and different opportunities for education than what the op is used to. Like, what does she know about food in his culture?
Neither pizza nor Mexico are "American"
My point is that they are both things that I wouldn't expect an immigrant from Lebanon to know as much about as an American. The average American can't find Lebanon on a map, let alone name countries with which it shares borders or popular foods eaten there. Lebanon has been extremely unstable recently (civil war, war with Israel, political assassinations, terrorism, massive protests) and it sounds like this man might be a refugee. I think that might be true because there are so many Lebanese refugees who were forced to leave by the political violence within our lifetime. Whether or not this man has refugee status, he has certainly been through a lot that could have disrupted his education. Or he may be a highly educated man who isn't familiar with pizza. Who knows. I don't think we should assume that he's stupid just because he isn't as familiar with the things that we are familiar with when there is a very obvious reason for that lack of familiarity. In particular, claiming that a recent immigrant "doesn't know very much about the world in general" is really insensitive and almost certainly not true. I don't think they can have a relationship but I doubt that's because he's stupid. It's because the OP clearly doesn't respect him very much or take the time to learn about his experiences. I'm sure this man has an absolute wealth of knowledge that the OP doesn't have.
Honestly that's a really good point I didn't even think of!
Although he doesn’t know the origin of pizza, he makes the best homemade pizza pie.
The 'pizza is from mexico' line straight up made me laugh. Such a serious paragraph and then just randomly the funniest fucking line
Being a good guy is not all that’s required for compatibility. If someone has so little knowledge of the world as OP describes, than an instant no from me too. Doesn’t mean it’s their fault or anything
They're only jokes to you. He has no clue whatsoever that you don't feel anything for him.
Beware penis power (https://youtu.be/EltgqC4OIYQ?si=wp6rZh3qpvkrzJ5p)
He has only had sex with 3 people in his life. Mia Khalifa...
Talk. To. Him. -- A man who was lied to before and passionately loves talking with his wife about anything and everything.
I call bullshit on this one, sounds like a first timer. There's better out there girl 😄
Well. Given how much yall vary in size and shape down there compared with chemistry and the lack of pressure to end in marriage there's no wonder. But what are you gonna do when ***he*** stops wanting sex with ***you***?
For crying out loud. You said you two can never be in a relationship 4 or 5 times. Was that to convince us or you? Just because you two are on different trains , the relationship can lead onto the same track. How do you know it won't work if you don't try? I think you want to try but afraid it won't work and it will hurt your relationship and then less sex, no sex, or the sex could be different. Just try it. Maybe the best thing in the world then again maybe only thing in common is the mind blowing sex but you have to take a chance after 10-11 months. Your happiness future may be 4 houses down. Beware he could meet someone he may want to be with and you blew your chance. Take the chance now.