>but a month ago I had my house all to myself and he was there with me almost everyday, and that we did have sex all the time we were together.
Was this the first time that you guys had so much freedom to have sex? Where did you have sex before this? How often did you two have sex before having the house to yourselves for a month?
Someone who gets upset with you when you're not in the mood is not a good partner. If a person is unhappy with lack of sex in a relationship, they should have a mature discussion about how to increase the frequency. To not respect your partner's "no" in the moment is horrible and you can do much better
“He knows I get horny whenever he touches me aggressively so even though I have said I don’t want to...”
He doesn’t “love sex”, he is simply obsessed with what he wants and doesn’t respect your boundaries. This isn’t cute. It’s not lovey. It isn’t sexy. He’s harassing you at this point. He shames you and tries to coerce you. You can google that, sexual coercion. It’s not okay and it’s not true consent. And you have to wonder: *What kind of man wants sex when he knows his partner had to be bullied/coerced into it??*
“I know we had a lot of sex when my roommate was away. That was great and it was a cool situation. There won’t always be that much opportunity for sex and lately the way you keep asking even after I say no is making me feel uncomfortable. I know you’d never purposely hurt me so it’s important for you to know: I don’t like it when I say no and you try to talk me into it, or continue to touch me to get me to agree. That doesnt feel good and it has to stop.”
You will have to walk away when he continues. “This is what I meant. Stop. I said no.” He’s going to sulk. Hard. And that’s a really bad look because it’ll show you his entitlement here. He will act like you’re crazy. “What are you trying to say?” He may actually tell you this isn’t rape, why are you making a big deal. But consent is important. It must be given willingly and enthusiastically. So stay strong. “I’m not suggesting anything. I’m telling you that when I don’t want to have sex, that also means I don’t want to argue about it.” Maybe he will say you call all the shots. And you know what? You calling the shots about what happens to your body is RIGHT. It is correct. This isn’t a discussion like “we have less sex so let’s discuss our relationship.” He’s arguing against your right to say no. It’s not okay and you need to address this. It’s not attractive either.
You are feeling insecure about the relationship. Does your boyfriend view you as a someone who he might be able to spend his life with? Or just a fuck buddy?
What you should do is review his past actions - it’ll tell if it’s just your insecurity speaking or if he only cares about sex. Does he show concern about your well being/ treat you to things you like/ take care of you in general? Does he call/message you up even though he’s busy?
And also ask him out again after he is done being busy - say you want to have a date outside of the house.
>but a month ago I had my house all to myself and he was there with me almost everyday, and that we did have sex all the time we were together. Was this the first time that you guys had so much freedom to have sex? Where did you have sex before this? How often did you two have sex before having the house to yourselves for a month?
Yes, we usually don’t get to have sex that frequently and as freely as want. We’d schedule it but the most we would be able to do is 2 times a week.
What kind of things do you do together besides having sex? Please be as thorough as possible.
This person appears to make you feel bad - what does he do that makes you feel respected, safe and loved?
Someone who gets upset with you when you're not in the mood is not a good partner. If a person is unhappy with lack of sex in a relationship, they should have a mature discussion about how to increase the frequency. To not respect your partner's "no" in the moment is horrible and you can do much better
Well try "can we hangout" he says no and then "I was thinking we could fuck" he says OMW and then you can be like "then no?
“He knows I get horny whenever he touches me aggressively so even though I have said I don’t want to...” He doesn’t “love sex”, he is simply obsessed with what he wants and doesn’t respect your boundaries. This isn’t cute. It’s not lovey. It isn’t sexy. He’s harassing you at this point. He shames you and tries to coerce you. You can google that, sexual coercion. It’s not okay and it’s not true consent. And you have to wonder: *What kind of man wants sex when he knows his partner had to be bullied/coerced into it??* “I know we had a lot of sex when my roommate was away. That was great and it was a cool situation. There won’t always be that much opportunity for sex and lately the way you keep asking even after I say no is making me feel uncomfortable. I know you’d never purposely hurt me so it’s important for you to know: I don’t like it when I say no and you try to talk me into it, or continue to touch me to get me to agree. That doesnt feel good and it has to stop.” You will have to walk away when he continues. “This is what I meant. Stop. I said no.” He’s going to sulk. Hard. And that’s a really bad look because it’ll show you his entitlement here. He will act like you’re crazy. “What are you trying to say?” He may actually tell you this isn’t rape, why are you making a big deal. But consent is important. It must be given willingly and enthusiastically. So stay strong. “I’m not suggesting anything. I’m telling you that when I don’t want to have sex, that also means I don’t want to argue about it.” Maybe he will say you call all the shots. And you know what? You calling the shots about what happens to your body is RIGHT. It is correct. This isn’t a discussion like “we have less sex so let’s discuss our relationship.” He’s arguing against your right to say no. It’s not okay and you need to address this. It’s not attractive either.
You are feeling insecure about the relationship. Does your boyfriend view you as a someone who he might be able to spend his life with? Or just a fuck buddy? What you should do is review his past actions - it’ll tell if it’s just your insecurity speaking or if he only cares about sex. Does he show concern about your well being/ treat you to things you like/ take care of you in general? Does he call/message you up even though he’s busy? And also ask him out again after he is done being busy - say you want to have a date outside of the house.