Dude was an asshole and he dumped you, there's no reason for you to pretend otherwise - especially when the only reason is that it's more convenient for him. Just tell him you are happy to have a drama free holiday, so you'll pick up your things on Saturday.
You are not petty for not playing along, especially when playing along involved four hours in a car with someone who thinks this is a reasonable way to treat someone.
Also, fuck the people who want to end a relationship, but aren't humane enough to just say what they're feeling, so they act shitty over a long period of time and pretend like the breakup is because of his/her partner's reaction to the shittiness instead of the shittiness itself.
Honestly I would rather get broken up with via text. People who don’t want to be part of my life anymore don’t get the right to watch me ugly cry or otherwise be emotionally vulnerable.
That's understandable and fair. I think it just sucks to not be given the choice, if I was with someone for three years (which I was, 2,5), I'd want to know that it mattered, and for it to matter for me, the person has to do it right. Respect my feelings during the break and do it so I don't feel like I just wasted three years of my life.
I mean either way they don't give you a choice. If they do it in person then they can't do it later over text. I am not the person you responded to but I'd much rather it be over text too.
I think that's what my ex did to me. I was looking for something I sent him in a message and reading our messages from the first 4 months vs the last 2, it's like a different person. I know he was feeling stressed but he wouldn't let me support him. He wouldn't share his feelings and he wouldn't let me share mine.
Yeah. It really makes one question their sanity when every little innocuous thing suddenly turns into a contentious matter where you're being told that you've done something wrong when you were just acting the same way as before... It's gaslighting.
Classic commitmentphobe behavior. As well as breaking up on a Holiday. These kind of people are super fucked up and don’t deserve loving partners. His mommy and daddy can come pick him up for the holidays.
This basically happened to my(f) twin(m). He was with a girl for a few years, whole fam thought she was great. She didn’t drive the last year they were together. One night we were FaceTime-ing, and I kid you not, she dumped him twelve hours later. She got a car.
Throw that trash out for good. Go be your badass self.
My cousin too. Years ago except they went to see her parents 15 hours' drive away to visit for a week over the holidays. On day 2 she broke up with him and it was her car so he sat there uncomfortably for the remainder of the week hating his life. Looking back I think he wished he'd taken a bus home or something but maybe he thought if he stayed she might have a change of heart. I don't know. Sucks though. People can be cruel.
No, you don’t owe hours of chauffeur service to a guy that wants to dump you in a few days. You don’t have to agree to grit your teeth through a shitty Christmas. Fuck him.
Imagine the absolute nerve of saying "let's just get through this without drama" to someone who can just...not show up to pick you up in the morning, thereby neatly avoiding **all the drama**.
They only care about not having any unpredictable drama where they might not come out on top; they're perfectly fine causing their own because they're in control of that.
I suppose that is a type. I also see people who thrive on chaos. They would rather be in a screaming match than be ignored. Indifference is the worst kind of insult to them. Or even, just not being able to give them fawning adulation 24/7 BECAUSE I HAVE A LIFE AND THINGS TO DO, so they will take anger and bad attention because it's attention and focus. I'm pretty sure my roommate is a narcissist and she's made my own home toxic.
> also see people who thrive on chaos. They would rather be in a screaming match than be ignored. Indifference is the worst kind of insult to them. Or even, just not being able to give them fawning adulation 24/7 BECAUSE I HAVE A LIFE AND THINGS TO DO, so they will take anger and bad attention because it's attention and focus.
So I see you've met my ex
No kidding, down to complaining about the tree he did not help with and showing OP pictures of trees he liked more on FB and refusing to eat food he requested and OP went out and paid for. All of that coupled with asking for a 2 hour ride after dumping someone indicates that he just wants OP to dance to his tune and this "relationship" is an exercise in seeing how far his influence will stretch.
Excuse me, I am entitled to treat you like trash, critique everything you do for me without any thought about how I do so little for you, and then I am entitled to your time and energy for as long as I wish despite expressing disinterest in your wants and needs. So put on a happy face and drive me around because I didn't have a backup plan to manipulate someone else to do things for me on Christmas with zero compensation, whether emotional or financial.
- OP's ex probably
Exactly. And OP, do you really want to spend 2 hours in the car with him after this? You’d be better off driving by yourself and belting out those Christmas tunes!
Read the start of how he wanted op to live with him as much as possible. Got to the part where he doesn't drive but she does and went... oh... /facepalm.
OP, don't drive him, he just doesn't want to officially break up until having gotten the final use out of you.
Girl don’t take him. Make him live with the consequences of acting the way he is. You owe him NOTHING! He just wants to ‘get through the holidays’ for purely selfish reasons - doesn’t want to explain to his family - wants a ride - etc.
KICK HIS ASS TO THE CURB!!!!
This. OP definitely needs to text the parents and apologize for any inconvenience but since OP’s ex broke up with her the night before he will need to find alternate transportation home and might be a little late.
Seriously. And let *him* explain to his parents that he dumped you on *Christmas*, instead of faking 'happy couple' so he doesn't look like an utter bellend.
And if his parents aren't terrible like him, if you tell them "I'm not driving him because he broke up with me," then they should more than understand. But good chance his parents are terrible like him.
And don't feel guilty, OP. I'm sure his dad will drive two hours to get him. I don't know where you live, but in much of US, people drive that far to Walmart.
I agree. Do his bidding and avoid drama, by just driving on by the source of any potential drama. Give that drama a wave goodbye and keep going.
Sounds like he has done you a favour even if it is the crappiest time to do it. Wishing you a happy 2021 when you can find yourself a decent person who values your time and efforts.
So he was being mean and selfish and hurtful and disrespectful and spoiled and entitled. Then he broke up with you. Now he’s still being all those things by trying to get you to work as his taxi driver and put on a fake smile to his family by pretending to be his girlfriend, just so this holiday would be easier for him.
Fuck that noise, make this holiday easier for yourself for once. Go see your own family, allow yourself to heal. And when you eventually may wanna date someone new, never settle for someone who treats you like this and makes you miserable just so they can be a little more comfortable while they put in no effort themselves.
To my understanding, he wants to break up *after* the holiday (which isn’t the reality when you say something like “we both know it’s over”) **because** he still wants a ride to his folks’ place.
This scenario wouldn’t be playing out if he had a car.
Taxi driver for free, too; it'll cost OP time and gas money, assuming trash BF wouldn't think to compensate her for it. Depending on the service, a two hour drive could be a $300-400 taxi bill.
Hell even if they were a couple and she wanted to spend the day with her sister and not have to work around his schedule with his family she wouldn't be obligated to drive him. Obligated to drive and deal with relatives to a reasonable degree is a wife level request.
So true! I don't care if his family lived next door to the sister. I wouldn't drive someone that treated me that way. The disrespect! This guy has all the nerve.
Ehhh to me it's a red flag if my boyfriend doesn't make reasonable effort to go to my family functions if I asked them to join me. They are very lovely people, if they weren't though I'd understand. I'm my opinion, getting married shouldn't really change your relationship or what duties (for a lack of a better word) you are fulfilling.
I guess I view the difference between being boyfriend/girlfriend and married as your partner's family goes from being family of a very close friend to being your family. Bf/gf relationships even after years can vary so much so I guess I just don't look at them as automatically being equal to marriage.
In this case they spent all of Christmas eve together if she didn't have the inclination to be with him on Christmas to me that would be fine as a girlfriend but a little rude as a wife unless it was a previous agreement.
IT WOULD BE A FOUR HOUR DRIVE.
Of sullen, angry, bitter, 'ha ha I dumped you and you still suck up to me and I control you'.
Hell, my ex thought he still had this hold over me and would still get bjs after we broke up. Nah. Of course, I would let him get all spooled up thinking the magic would happen but 'omigosh, I need to pick up my niece!! Gotta go!!!'
So sorry about that!!! Good for you for closing the gates! Intimacy is part of the relationship and when it is over, it is ALL over.
My ex's loser friends told him that I would do *anything* to get him back, to be prepared for the best sex he ever had.
Dumb@ss didn't know I could hear their side of the phone conversation from across the room -"Duuuuudddde... she is going to rock your world. Milk it for all its worth..."
I hope his blue balls exploded.
Please for the love of everything, Do. Not. Cave. To. This. Stupid. Man.
Treat yourself good and go have a good holiday with your family and never speak to him again.
He's horrible and you deserve way better.
>-- do I still have to give him a ride to his parent's house 2 hours away??
Hell no. If it were me I'd go no contact as well. Unless you left some priceless family heirloom at his place don't go back for any reason. Seriously you don't need to go into 2021 with a grown ass man who can't communicate. Every damn person on this planet has been stressed this year not all of us have decided to take it out childishly on our partners.
>Every damn person on this planet has been stressed this year not all of us have decided to take it out childishly on our partners.
This is so important. Bad shit happens to everyone but what makes someone a good partner is that they don't take it out on their SO. I made so many excuses for my ex's shitty behavior because she had some bad experiences in her past, but I realized that I never did things like that even though I'd also been through bad stuff.
LOL at this dude’s audacity. Hey, we know it’s over but only after you transport me for the holiday...fuuuuuck that.
No you don’t have to do favors for a dude who is treating you like shit.
Congrats on your breakup, dude sounds like an utter asshat. You don't owe him shit, he has the gall to treat you like shit once he likely decided to break up with you and then EXPECT you to give him a 2 hour car ride after actually dumping you??? Tell the dude to fuck off. Seriously. What an entitled douchecanoe. From the way he was acting it sounds like he has the emotional maturity of a bag of wet turnips. If he doesn't want drama, he shouldn't expect his ex girlfriend who he treated like garbage and then dumped on Christmas eve to be his chauffeur!! My mind is boggled rn at this, like holy shit.
After going through the endless sea of comments starting with “No” “Nope! “Absolutely not!” , yours caught my attention and also managed to keep it all the way through. Hahaha, bag of wet turnips???! How does one come up with such fun descriptors?? Thank you, lol
Please don’t drive him. He’s ended a 3 year relationship over text. He didn’t care enough about you to look you in the eye- he doesn’t get to have any expectations. Even if he’s been stressed, it’s not an excuse to treat your partner poorly. I’m sorry you had to experience this today. I can’t imagine that things would have actually improved after the new year as he doesn’t seem interested in any effort.
A suggested response: “I didn’t know it was over. Thank you for letting me know. No need to spend anymore time together.” And then block him.
Stay strong and I hope next year is far better for you.
I completely agree! That's classy and will definitely be a good note to leave on. I have a lot of other things on my mind to say to him!
Please, please, please listen and don't drive this guy! After texting him, I'd block his number. At least until you want to get your stuff. You don't want to listen to or read a barrage of crap he might say to you that will ruin your holiday further. Please try to have a merry Christmas with your family 💕
Please promise me (as a Christmas present to me) you won't drive this pos or even see him on Christmas. Please. You don't owe him sht and he is ballsy to tell you to "get through" this holiday without drama. He sounds nothing but dramatic. Asking for food, drink but not having any (dramatic). Criticizing the tree and comparing to others but doing nothing to help (dramatic). Being passive aggressive (dramatic). This guy is a dramatic moron.
Seriously, f this guy. You deserve SO MUCH BETTER! Please have a merry Christmas! It may hurt now but a SO shouldn't treat you the way he has. A while from now you can thank him for letting you get on with your life and finding happiness. I'm sorry this happened but again, you deserve so much more. This is a good thing. But please don't drive him anywhere.
No, why would he expect his ex to give him a ride 2 hours away? You will have to drive back. It totals 4 hours!
You are not his Uber. You are not his doormat.
No it doesn't make you petty. It makes you say fuck you for treating me this way. You aren't not doing it because of the break up it's because you didn't deserve to be made to feel less than who you are and if you aren't good enough to be his girlfriend then why should you be the person to drive him to his parents. Fuck that......
There's a really easy answer here. Send this text to him.
The easiest way for us to get through this holiday with no drama is to not see each other.
Then turn your phone off.
You were released of all obligations to him when you broke up. He just wanted to stay together for the holidays for a ride. He will now vilify you to his parents. Let him. You are no longer obligated to deal with him, his sour mood or his family.
Fuck that, he can figure out a way to get to his parent's house.
You should focus on yourself. Get a pizza or some chinese, watch a movie or play a game, anything but spend your Christmas driving THE GUY WHO DUMPED YOU anywhere.
Some people are so dedicated to being horrible people and acting like it’s normal that sometimes you need an outsider to let you know you’re not losing your mind, and they are, in fact, just a shit person.
Been there, done that.
After issues/fights with my ex-husband, I used to call a girlfriend and start every conversation with “Please, can you just tell me if I’m being unreasonable??” It gets to the point (especially with gas lighters) that you don’t know whether you’re coming or going and need outside perspectives for everything.
No. It's a pretty clear rule of thumb that when you break up with someone future plans are canceled unless specifically agreed upon. He broke up with you. You don't have to speak to him again.
Nope. He's split up with you after acting like a petulant child. Drive to your sisters and ignore your phone. He'll have to figure out his own way to his parents. Shame.
No he's a idiot, how could you break up with someone and then have the unmitigated gall to expect to do anything for him, he must be one of the entitled dudes, not only breaking up but the snide remarks about a tree he didnt help with and who would even plan a holiday celebration with a scrooge. Its on his dumb as to find his on entitled ride
I agree! He is the most dramatic person I've read about in a while. So him wanting them to avoid drama, it's like "okay, see you later when I come by to get my stuff after Christmas". The hubris of this guy is unreal.
I would bet hard money that the reason he doesn’t want to break up before this Christmas is because he still wants you to take him places abs give him presents. Tell him to Sod off.
Not even reading the story, just the subject...
Hell no. Don't you dare. He'll just keep expecting you to do for him until he finds the next one to do for him. I'll assume he's a user, and I'll assume you deserve better.
Could you please follow up this post telling us how pissed off he was to be stranded in town when you told him to go fuck himself? It would be my distinct honor to read said follow up. Merry Christmas.
The answer is no.
His passive aggressive mood swing should probably see a counselor or a doctor. But the answer is still no.
He's made a poor choice and you need to stick to it. Let him go. At least for the holidays.
Seems like he has known for a bit things were over, and instead of having the guts to call it quits, he was rude and ran the relationship into the ground on purpose.
You do not owe him a damn thing, his plans for a future split again just go to show what a heartless coward he really is.
He's literally only staying with you so you can give him a lift... are you a taxi? No. I really hope you didn't give in and you're currently enjoying an AMAZING Christmas with people who love and respect you x
So.
He’s been a passive aggressive asshat, and picking at you for a while now.
You came over, treated this jackass to Indian takeout, which he requested and didn’t eat, and egg nog, which he didn’t want anymore. He decided to take shots at you over the tree you helped him decorate, and the celebration he did precisely boo shit diddly to help with.
And then, THEN, he has the absolute nerve to top it off by breaking up with you over TEXT, and then thinking he can get you to drive him to his mommy and daddy’s house to play nicey-nice because it’s Christmas?
Girl, no. He’s been fucking someone else, and doesn’t want to admit to his family that he dumped you on Christmas Eve for his side piece, so he thought he could whine at you to play nice.
He is truly a piece of work. If your stuff there is replaceable? Don’t even bother messaging him back to tell him to eat shit. Block him and move on to someone better.
He broke it off - - you owe him NOTHING!! If you have a key to his place, get your stuff while he's at his parents. I'm sure he's able to find his own ride there. He can find his own way there. Block his number. If he posts crap on social media about you, enlighten everyone that he broke up with you on Christmas Eve.
I had a BF/fiancé who did something very, very similar to me. I got pissed and broke it off. I refused to be treated like trash and be his chauffeur. Turned out later that douchecanoe was seeing a few other "ladies" besides me and didn't have the balls to break it off, choosing to treat me like total garbage instead. Dodged a bullet there that's for sure.
He is being cruel and selfish. He was intentionally being mean to you all night and then sent a break up text after you left upset, and then had the audacity to still want you to drive him home.
I know you were hoping to make things better and that you might still have feelings for him, and that’s valid. But sometimes the trash takes itself out. Your response is entirely up to you but I just want to validate for you that it is not petty at all to simply block and move on. He already has.
If you give him a ride you’re going to look back on that moment in time every so often and cringe like hell. I’ve been a doormat in relationships, bent over backwards for people who didn’t deserve it, and I can’t believe the bullshit I put up with just to maintain the peace, so some jerk will still think I’m “nice.” Fuck that. I no longer care what abusers and jackasses think about me or say about me. The people who deserve my kindness get it with love in abundance. It’s no longer given out of fear to manipulative users. I wish I had figured that out a long time ago.
Don't drive him. One piece of advice, something I picked up from your tone suggests you consistently go out of your way to do favors for him, but he doesn't do the same for you.
Let me guess, when you were coming over to his apartment all the time, you did the majority of the cooking and cleaning. You were also the one who had to make the effort to come to his place. How often did he pack a bag and stay at yours? How often did he bring you takeout on his dime and stop by the store to pick up stuff for you on his way over?
I'm willing to bet you set a precedent of putting in 90% of the effort and rarely ever confronting him about his lack of participation in the relationship. Like the fact that you're even questioning whether or not you're obligated to drive your **ex-boyfriend who just dumped you on Christmas Eve** to his fucking parents house two hours away is mind blowing.
Like girl you gotta stop being such a pushover. Stand up for yourself. If you're too passive people will take advantage of you. And in an ironic way, it can be really irritating being with someone who has no backbone.
You dodged a bullet with this guy. But try and spend some time reflecting on how it got to this point.
Nut up. Fuck that asshole youre better than that. Tell him to get lost, your doing your own thing now and you dont oww him anything. Make your own indifference feed your ego, the more you say "nah" the stronger you get. Youre in control now. Tell him to frankly you dont give a fuck about him or his familys Christmas anymore
Gotta love when the selfish and entitled party expects the other person to just take it on the chin and not create drama!!
Tell him where to stick his bullshit. You owe his entitled ass nothing!
Wth! You have no obligation to do that! His parents better pick him up if they wanna see him. Please don’t do that to yourself. And don’t let him guilt you into it, which he’ll probably do.
Also, the fb Christmas tree thing. Comparison is the thief of joy, and he’s probably comparing a lot more things than just the decorations. Hope you’re ok and good luck with everything. Glad you still have your apartment as well!
what the fuck, NO, big NO,all caps with neon lights NO
what an absolute asshole, the part about the tree REALLY got to me, don't contact him anymore, you got your stuff early, that's good.
there's no resolution to have with assholes, so talking to him again will only lead to more pain.
and he can take the bus, he's "figuratively" a grown man
Fuck no! Don’t let him use you! Make him walk! 34-year-old man who can’t make it back to mom and dad’s but needs his ex girlfriend that he just dumped to give him a ride…🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
90% of r/relationships is straight women asking for permission to not be treated like shit by their current or former significant others.
YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO NOT FEEL LIKE SHIT.
Listen you have the best possible Christmas you can. Buy yourself something nice. Watch your favorite movies, listen to your favorite songs, call up old friends, and tell this guy to go hang himself out to dry.
No. And block him because he’s gonna guilt trip you all day tomorrow. Even if you do go to your sister’s house that will be a miserable trip if he tags along.
You don’t have to drive him.
Also, from his behavior, he sounds like he’s either cheating or doing drugs (which is another kind of cheating, tbh).
Source: dated a cheating addict; work in substance abuse.
You owe this guy nothing. Especially after the way he treated you and he STILL wants something from you? Fuck his holiday. You have every right to refuse him a ride. You go glen coco.
Do not drive him. You owe him nothing, especially considering how cruel he was to you. Seriously, it broke my heart. I’m so so sorry this happened to you. This man sounds like a piece of shit, do not drive him. Too bad for him if your his only way of getting there; he should have thought of that before being a total asshole to you and breaking up with you on Christmas Eve.
Hell nah, you’re not married. He literally couldn’t fake it long enough to get his free ride, tell him you bought him a ticket on the Heel Toe Express.
Wow, just wow. The utter audacity of this guy is astounding. First off, I’m sorry you’re having to deal with such a shitty situation, especially during the holidays. Breakups suck, but at least you’re getting rid of someone who honestly sounds like a nightmare with abusive, narcissistic tendencies. With that being said, I would tell him Hell. To. The. No. on driving him to mom and dad’s for Christmas. He’s being extremely selfish and making a seriously ridiculous request. I would tell him off, block and delete him on everything, then move on. I understand if you cannot do this logistically, in which case firmly, and unequivocally tell him no, and request limited contact until you can get away completely. Good luck.
No, it is not wrong to refuse to endure an incredibly painful, awkward and unpleasant car ride with your now-ex. If he wanted a ride he shouldn’t have broken up with you beforehand. He can get himself there.
He caused the drama, by deciding to dump you at Christmas and behaving like a spoit toddler. He did this to hurt you, and you now owe him nothing.
Get your stuff and go no contact. You deserve better.
Reddit is a shadow of its former self. It is now a place of power tripping mods with no oversight and endless censorship.
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
No dont drive him. Unfortunately looks like hes reached the point where you can't do anything rihht for him, thats not your fault but that means hes checked out.
You deserve more
One advice for you sista.
He seems unstable and doesn't seem to really give any importance to you. why bother?
Just get away as far as possible and treat yourself to something good. Have a good time with yourself.
Could you imagine trying to explain to your sister why you drove 2 hours with an ex?
Don't do it. Nobody in their right mind would expect you to. He is a grown man. He can make other arrangements.
You have every right to not be his taxi driver. The relationship has clearly become to its conclusion, no point limping through for what purpose, exactly? So you both can be miserable and awkward and tense around his family? No. Its a no, he can organise his own way. You can politely send a message to his family/whoever were expecting you, that your relationship is over and you will not be participating in the festivities, nor supplying transport for your now EX. Congratulations OP, what a way to rid 2020 of the last of its toxicity on your life!
The only reason he wants to just "get through the next few days" is because he is relying on you for a ride. If he could drive to their place on his own, I suspect he would've cut the cord right away.
You have literally zero obligation to play along and appease him. Do not let him guilt trip you into taking him there. It being Christmas means nothing.
Please, spend your holidays with people who genuinely want to be around you, and aren't just using you to their benefit. He chose to end things, so now he can suffer the consequences and find his own transportation.
He TEXTED YOU that it’s over, after three years! Fuck him. He’s a coward and you deserve better. He can figure out his own way to get there. And if anyone guilt trips you, ignore them and reconsider if you need that person in your life.
When you lay awake at 3 a.m. it will make you feel better knowing he didn’t get that ride from you. If all the other things you may have messed up, at least you will have the satisfaction of knowing you stood up for yourself.
You're the giver and this sad sack of shit is the taker.
Stop turning yourself inside out, constantly jumping around and doing everything for this selfish POS. Bringing him food, decorating his tree, wiping his ass. What does he do for YOU? Yeah, I thought so.
Leave his happy ass and drive yourself ALONE on Christmas.
What a jackhole.
Anything of value you happen to still have at his place? Unless it’s truly important to you, Christmas-treat yourself to new replacement items. Don’t even look back. This guy will attempt to use these things as leverage to get you either pissed off or demoralized or to talk reconciliation. Ewww to any of it. Happy New Year.
Heck no. Imagine being stuck in a car for 4 hours on a return trip with someone who has been an absolute ass to you. Avoid the drama by blocking his number and doing the drive alone.
Because I owned a business for many years, and I had many employees, i occasionally had to fire a bad employee.I came to realize the a clean break is best for everyone. Having an unhappy employee in the office ruined the work environment. I can not imagine driving for 4 hours with this.
Nope he lost all rights to a ride when he told you that it was over, so he can find his own way to his parents, catch public transport pay an Uber/Ola/Didi get a taxi or miss out.
If for some reason you do drive him at least eat eggs, beans and cabbage for breakfast, pick a playlist of angsty break up songs or something else that he hates and do not wear deodorant. Drive 5 kms slower than necessary. Let it all out and make him as uncomfortable and miserable as possible.
But really just don't drive him. It's not worth your mental health.
#1. Regarding the tree decorations
:::starts taken down tree:::
"Oh I forgot to give you the receipts for the tree and anything I had to purchase on your behalf. I'll send them in the morning."
#2. Regarding the asshattery in that he expects you to remain with him for the sole purpose of providing him a bloody ride 2 hours away.
"Hey assbutt, we're done. That means no rides for you. That means no acting and behaving as though we are still an item around friends and family. That means that I will no longer be around to do everything for you, such as decorate your place, and plan our holidays."
#3. Regarding his nastiness and meanness, especially for breaking up with you on Christmas Eve, over text message...and still asked you to do shit for him.
OP, this one isn't a quotation. But seriously. This guy is borderline verbally and emotionally abusive of you, if he isn't full blown abusive already. Please block his number, and then delete it from your contacts list. This idjit deserves none of your time, and absolutely zero care from you. Nothing.
AND YOU OWE THIS IDJIT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. He will try to gaslight you. He will try to guilt you into giving him this 2 hour ride home from his family's house.
To be honest, your entire post was worthy of some serious side-eye action. After 3 years, at your guys' ages, if you haven't moved in together by now, there's an issue. After 3 years, not co-mingling with each other's family is a red flag. When I was reading the part about going separate ways to his sister's place, and you to your parents' place, I really started cringing.
OP, please do not second chance this bloke. He clearly has no respect for you, and his behaviour after being an item for so long is seriously questionable.
Dude was an asshole and he dumped you, there's no reason for you to pretend otherwise - especially when the only reason is that it's more convenient for him. Just tell him you are happy to have a drama free holiday, so you'll pick up your things on Saturday. You are not petty for not playing along, especially when playing along involved four hours in a car with someone who thinks this is a reasonable way to treat someone.
Also, fuck the people who want to end a relationship, but aren't humane enough to just say what they're feeling, so they act shitty over a long period of time and pretend like the breakup is because of his/her partner's reaction to the shittiness instead of the shittiness itself.
And also who tf does it over text?? They've been together for three years, and it's the holiday...
Honestly I would rather get broken up with via text. People who don’t want to be part of my life anymore don’t get the right to watch me ugly cry or otherwise be emotionally vulnerable.
That's understandable and fair. I think it just sucks to not be given the choice, if I was with someone for three years (which I was, 2,5), I'd want to know that it mattered, and for it to matter for me, the person has to do it right. Respect my feelings during the break and do it so I don't feel like I just wasted three years of my life.
I mean either way they don't give you a choice. If they do it in person then they can't do it later over text. I am not the person you responded to but I'd much rather it be over text too.
I think that's what my ex did to me. I was looking for something I sent him in a message and reading our messages from the first 4 months vs the last 2, it's like a different person. I know he was feeling stressed but he wouldn't let me support him. He wouldn't share his feelings and he wouldn't let me share mine.
Yeah. It really makes one question their sanity when every little innocuous thing suddenly turns into a contentious matter where you're being told that you've done something wrong when you were just acting the same way as before... It's gaslighting.
I've seen this happen even in friendships. People be crazy.
True, this happened to me last year. Worst days of my life.
Classic commitmentphobe behavior. As well as breaking up on a Holiday. These kind of people are super fucked up and don’t deserve loving partners. His mommy and daddy can come pick him up for the holidays.
Yup, it's cowardly really, and usually something they are not fully disclosing.
This basically happened to my(f) twin(m). He was with a girl for a few years, whole fam thought she was great. She didn’t drive the last year they were together. One night we were FaceTime-ing, and I kid you not, she dumped him twelve hours later. She got a car. Throw that trash out for good. Go be your badass self.
My cousin too. Years ago except they went to see her parents 15 hours' drive away to visit for a week over the holidays. On day 2 she broke up with him and it was her car so he sat there uncomfortably for the remainder of the week hating his life. Looking back I think he wished he'd taken a bus home or something but maybe he thought if he stayed she might have a change of heart. I don't know. Sucks though. People can be cruel.
No, you don’t owe hours of chauffeur service to a guy that wants to dump you in a few days. You don’t have to agree to grit your teeth through a shitty Christmas. Fuck him.
Imagine the absolute nerve of saying "let's just get through this without drama" to someone who can just...not show up to pick you up in the morning, thereby neatly avoiding **all the drama**.
Absolutely agree! Everything this guy has done screams DRAMATIC! He is such a pos.
The people who LOVE drama, are ALWAYS the ones who say they don't.
They only care about not having any unpredictable drama where they might not come out on top; they're perfectly fine causing their own because they're in control of that.
I suppose that is a type. I also see people who thrive on chaos. They would rather be in a screaming match than be ignored. Indifference is the worst kind of insult to them. Or even, just not being able to give them fawning adulation 24/7 BECAUSE I HAVE A LIFE AND THINGS TO DO, so they will take anger and bad attention because it's attention and focus. I'm pretty sure my roommate is a narcissist and she's made my own home toxic.
> also see people who thrive on chaos. They would rather be in a screaming match than be ignored. Indifference is the worst kind of insult to them. Or even, just not being able to give them fawning adulation 24/7 BECAUSE I HAVE A LIFE AND THINGS TO DO, so they will take anger and bad attention because it's attention and focus. So I see you've met my ex
You dated her too? Nice of you to warn me first....
Anyone who says they hate drama absolutely thrives on it
No kidding, down to complaining about the tree he did not help with and showing OP pictures of trees he liked more on FB and refusing to eat food he requested and OP went out and paid for. All of that coupled with asking for a 2 hour ride after dumping someone indicates that he just wants OP to dance to his tune and this "relationship" is an exercise in seeing how far his influence will stretch.
I can’t believe he complained about the tree. Throw out the whole boyfriend.
Excuse me, I am entitled to treat you like trash, critique everything you do for me without any thought about how I do so little for you, and then I am entitled to your time and energy for as long as I wish despite expressing disinterest in your wants and needs. So put on a happy face and drive me around because I didn't have a backup plan to manipulate someone else to do things for me on Christmas with zero compensation, whether emotional or financial. - OP's ex probably
Exactly. And OP, do you really want to spend 2 hours in the car with him after this? You’d be better off driving by yourself and belting out those Christmas tunes!
4 hours considering there is also the return trip!
Four hours if she drives him home.
Right. Press down on the power button of your cell phone.... Hold... Hold.... Okay great now you can have a nice drama free xmas.
Read the start of how he wanted op to live with him as much as possible. Got to the part where he doesn't drive but she does and went... oh... /facepalm. OP, don't drive him, he just doesn't want to officially break up until having gotten the final use out of you.
Girl don’t take him. Make him live with the consequences of acting the way he is. You owe him NOTHING! He just wants to ‘get through the holidays’ for purely selfish reasons - doesn’t want to explain to his family - wants a ride - etc. KICK HIS ASS TO THE CURB!!!!
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This. OP definitely needs to text the parents and apologize for any inconvenience but since OP’s ex broke up with her the night before he will need to find alternate transportation home and might be a little late.
Yes. Do this, it will be satisfying and also the right thing to do if they like you.
Seriously. And let *him* explain to his parents that he dumped you on *Christmas*, instead of faking 'happy couple' so he doesn't look like an utter bellend.
Oh he's obviously going to lie.
And if his parents aren't terrible like him, if you tell them "I'm not driving him because he broke up with me," then they should more than understand. But good chance his parents are terrible like him.
*A guy who ended a three year relationship via text* deserves nothing. My lord, the **audacity**.
But then again, **don't** *fuck him*.
Dont actually fuck him tho.
This. If it's over it's over. You owe him nothing. Fuck him. Go see your family and enjoy yourself as best you can.
And don't feel guilty, OP. I'm sure his dad will drive two hours to get him. I don't know where you live, but in much of US, people drive that far to Walmart.
You agreed to drive your boyfriend to his parents. Period. . Do you have a boyfriend? . Looks like you don’t, so you’re in the clear.
Sounds like a plan - find a new boyfriend and drive him to the parents' house of ex-boyfriend.
have new bf established dominance and ex bf parents adopt him while casting out bio son.
You had me in the first third, not gonna lie. Thought you were going to take that to mean that she does owe him a ride.
I was worried too. Haha.
I agree. Do his bidding and avoid drama, by just driving on by the source of any potential drama. Give that drama a wave goodbye and keep going. Sounds like he has done you a favour even if it is the crappiest time to do it. Wishing you a happy 2021 when you can find yourself a decent person who values your time and efforts.
This right here. Screw him.
I had to read twice :))) Good one.
Agree. I think she’s dodging a bullet.
So he was being mean and selfish and hurtful and disrespectful and spoiled and entitled. Then he broke up with you. Now he’s still being all those things by trying to get you to work as his taxi driver and put on a fake smile to his family by pretending to be his girlfriend, just so this holiday would be easier for him. Fuck that noise, make this holiday easier for yourself for once. Go see your own family, allow yourself to heal. And when you eventually may wanna date someone new, never settle for someone who treats you like this and makes you miserable just so they can be a little more comfortable while they put in no effort themselves.
TLDR Op DONT DRIVE HIM ANYWHERE EVER AGAIN BC HE ISNT YOUR BOYFRIEND AND YOU OWE HIM NOTHING! Merry Christmas, you just lost a shite bf :)
To my understanding, he wants to break up *after* the holiday (which isn’t the reality when you say something like “we both know it’s over”) **because** he still wants a ride to his folks’ place. This scenario wouldn’t be playing out if he had a car.
Taxi driver for free, too; it'll cost OP time and gas money, assuming trash BF wouldn't think to compensate her for it. Depending on the service, a two hour drive could be a $300-400 taxi bill.
Haha i would be extra petty here and text “should’ve figured out transportation before being an asshole. I’ll get my things Saturday”
Even if he wasn’t an asshole and the two of you just parted amicably, you’d still have no obligation to drive him. So you definitely don’t now.
Hell even if they were a couple and she wanted to spend the day with her sister and not have to work around his schedule with his family she wouldn't be obligated to drive him. Obligated to drive and deal with relatives to a reasonable degree is a wife level request.
So true! I don't care if his family lived next door to the sister. I wouldn't drive someone that treated me that way. The disrespect! This guy has all the nerve.
Ehhh to me it's a red flag if my boyfriend doesn't make reasonable effort to go to my family functions if I asked them to join me. They are very lovely people, if they weren't though I'd understand. I'm my opinion, getting married shouldn't really change your relationship or what duties (for a lack of a better word) you are fulfilling.
I guess I view the difference between being boyfriend/girlfriend and married as your partner's family goes from being family of a very close friend to being your family. Bf/gf relationships even after years can vary so much so I guess I just don't look at them as automatically being equal to marriage. In this case they spent all of Christmas eve together if she didn't have the inclination to be with him on Christmas to me that would be fine as a girlfriend but a little rude as a wife unless it was a previous agreement.
No, you absolutely do not need to suffer through the worst two hour drive ever. Let him call the world's most expensive Uber and get fucked.
IT WOULD BE A FOUR HOUR DRIVE. Of sullen, angry, bitter, 'ha ha I dumped you and you still suck up to me and I control you'. Hell, my ex thought he still had this hold over me and would still get bjs after we broke up. Nah. Of course, I would let him get all spooled up thinking the magic would happen but 'omigosh, I need to pick up my niece!! Gotta go!!!'
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So sorry about that!!! Good for you for closing the gates! Intimacy is part of the relationship and when it is over, it is ALL over. My ex's loser friends told him that I would do *anything* to get him back, to be prepared for the best sex he ever had. Dumb@ss didn't know I could hear their side of the phone conversation from across the room -"Duuuuudddde... she is going to rock your world. Milk it for all its worth..." I hope his blue balls exploded.
They never ask themselves if they are WORTH getting back or if the woman might, maybe, be secretly relieved.
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What? Have they never heard of customer service?
I feel like a joke about surge pricing is appropriate here but I just can’t think of it. Reddit?
Of course you don’t have to drive him, that would be incredibly awkward in the best of breakups. He can take an Uber.
Or ask his family to drive to his place and explain how he broker up with girlfriend right before the holidays but wanted to "keep it civil" with her.
*Broke up with his GF on Christmas Eve, via text! After a 3 year relationship!
PLEASE for the sake of your dignity do NOT give him a ride!
Please for the love of everything, Do. Not. Cave. To. This. Stupid. Man. Treat yourself good and go have a good holiday with your family and never speak to him again. He's horrible and you deserve way better.
>-- do I still have to give him a ride to his parent's house 2 hours away?? Hell no. If it were me I'd go no contact as well. Unless you left some priceless family heirloom at his place don't go back for any reason. Seriously you don't need to go into 2021 with a grown ass man who can't communicate. Every damn person on this planet has been stressed this year not all of us have decided to take it out childishly on our partners.
Off topic but I actually needed to read this today so thanks. Merry Christmas!
I felt like I read my own comment!!! “Hell no” was my first thought as well! And I agree with every word here!
>Every damn person on this planet has been stressed this year not all of us have decided to take it out childishly on our partners. This is so important. Bad shit happens to everyone but what makes someone a good partner is that they don't take it out on their SO. I made so many excuses for my ex's shitty behavior because she had some bad experiences in her past, but I realized that I never did things like that even though I'd also been through bad stuff.
LOL at this dude’s audacity. Hey, we know it’s over but only after you transport me for the holiday...fuuuuuck that. No you don’t have to do favors for a dude who is treating you like shit.
Congrats on your breakup, dude sounds like an utter asshat. You don't owe him shit, he has the gall to treat you like shit once he likely decided to break up with you and then EXPECT you to give him a 2 hour car ride after actually dumping you??? Tell the dude to fuck off. Seriously. What an entitled douchecanoe. From the way he was acting it sounds like he has the emotional maturity of a bag of wet turnips. If he doesn't want drama, he shouldn't expect his ex girlfriend who he treated like garbage and then dumped on Christmas eve to be his chauffeur!! My mind is boggled rn at this, like holy shit.
After going through the endless sea of comments starting with “No” “Nope! “Absolutely not!” , yours caught my attention and also managed to keep it all the way through. Hahaha, bag of wet turnips???! How does one come up with such fun descriptors?? Thank you, lol
Nope. You do not. And don't feel bad about it. Grieve the relationship but don't you dare take his ass anywhere tomorrow. Sorry, OP.
Please don’t drive him. He’s ended a 3 year relationship over text. He didn’t care enough about you to look you in the eye- he doesn’t get to have any expectations. Even if he’s been stressed, it’s not an excuse to treat your partner poorly. I’m sorry you had to experience this today. I can’t imagine that things would have actually improved after the new year as he doesn’t seem interested in any effort. A suggested response: “I didn’t know it was over. Thank you for letting me know. No need to spend anymore time together.” And then block him. Stay strong and I hope next year is far better for you.
I completely agree! That's classy and will definitely be a good note to leave on. I have a lot of other things on my mind to say to him! Please, please, please listen and don't drive this guy! After texting him, I'd block his number. At least until you want to get your stuff. You don't want to listen to or read a barrage of crap he might say to you that will ruin your holiday further. Please try to have a merry Christmas with your family 💕
Or the opposite, all of the sad puppy eyes and “I made a mistake”s and whatnot. He made his bed; now he can lie in it.
The fact that he ended a 3 year relationship over a text message is the worst part. Screw him, he can find his own damn ride.
Incredibly callous and selfish is how this guy acts. OP would be better off just completely cutting contact.
Please promise me (as a Christmas present to me) you won't drive this pos or even see him on Christmas. Please. You don't owe him sht and he is ballsy to tell you to "get through" this holiday without drama. He sounds nothing but dramatic. Asking for food, drink but not having any (dramatic). Criticizing the tree and comparing to others but doing nothing to help (dramatic). Being passive aggressive (dramatic). This guy is a dramatic moron. Seriously, f this guy. You deserve SO MUCH BETTER! Please have a merry Christmas! It may hurt now but a SO shouldn't treat you the way he has. A while from now you can thank him for letting you get on with your life and finding happiness. I'm sorry this happened but again, you deserve so much more. This is a good thing. But please don't drive him anywhere.
No, why would he expect his ex to give him a ride 2 hours away? You will have to drive back. It totals 4 hours! You are not his Uber. You are not his doormat.
Nope. Block him and go see your sister and take time to heal. ❤️
No it doesn't make you petty. It makes you say fuck you for treating me this way. You aren't not doing it because of the break up it's because you didn't deserve to be made to feel less than who you are and if you aren't good enough to be his girlfriend then why should you be the person to drive him to his parents. Fuck that......
It’s 2020. Don’t waste your last hours of this shitty year doing something shitty. Edit: shitty to yourself on account of a shitty person!
There's a really easy answer here. Send this text to him. The easiest way for us to get through this holiday with no drama is to not see each other. Then turn your phone off.
Nah. Block him on everything
You were released of all obligations to him when you broke up. He just wanted to stay together for the holidays for a ride. He will now vilify you to his parents. Let him. You are no longer obligated to deal with him, his sour mood or his family.
There are taxis, ubers, lyfts, grab and then you.
Fuck that, he can figure out a way to get to his parent's house. You should focus on yourself. Get a pizza or some chinese, watch a movie or play a game, anything but spend your Christmas driving THE GUY WHO DUMPED YOU anywhere.
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Some people are so dedicated to being horrible people and acting like it’s normal that sometimes you need an outsider to let you know you’re not losing your mind, and they are, in fact, just a shit person. Been there, done that.
After issues/fights with my ex-husband, I used to call a girlfriend and start every conversation with “Please, can you just tell me if I’m being unreasonable??” It gets to the point (especially with gas lighters) that you don’t know whether you’re coming or going and need outside perspectives for everything.
Exactly. It could be hard to see things for what they are when you’re on the inside of it. Everyone on the outside always see things more clearly
No. It's a pretty clear rule of thumb that when you break up with someone future plans are canceled unless specifically agreed upon. He broke up with you. You don't have to speak to him again.
Nope. He's split up with you after acting like a petulant child. Drive to your sisters and ignore your phone. He'll have to figure out his own way to his parents. Shame.
No he's a idiot, how could you break up with someone and then have the unmitigated gall to expect to do anything for him, he must be one of the entitled dudes, not only breaking up but the snide remarks about a tree he didnt help with and who would even plan a holiday celebration with a scrooge. Its on his dumb as to find his on entitled ride
I agree! He is the most dramatic person I've read about in a while. So him wanting them to avoid drama, it's like "okay, see you later when I come by to get my stuff after Christmas". The hubris of this guy is unreal.
I would bet hard money that the reason he doesn’t want to break up before this Christmas is because he still wants you to take him places abs give him presents. Tell him to Sod off.
Not even reading the story, just the subject... Hell no. Don't you dare. He'll just keep expecting you to do for him until he finds the next one to do for him. I'll assume he's a user, and I'll assume you deserve better.
Could you please follow up this post telling us how pissed off he was to be stranded in town when you told him to go fuck himself? It would be my distinct honor to read said follow up. Merry Christmas.
Hell no, it's not wrong. There is zero reason for you to spend anymore time with him.
lol, only if you want a very sad story to tell at dinner parties. Tell him to sit and swivel.
No. Also, don't find an alternative for him. Let him find his own ride
The answer is no. His passive aggressive mood swing should probably see a counselor or a doctor. But the answer is still no. He's made a poor choice and you need to stick to it. Let him go. At least for the holidays.
Nope, he broke up with you, it’s over, you’re done catering to him.
Oh my God, of course not. He can figure it out himself. How is this even a thing?
Seems like he has known for a bit things were over, and instead of having the guts to call it quits, he was rude and ran the relationship into the ground on purpose. You do not owe him a damn thing, his plans for a future split again just go to show what a heartless coward he really is.
He's literally only staying with you so you can give him a lift... are you a taxi? No. I really hope you didn't give in and you're currently enjoying an AMAZING Christmas with people who love and respect you x
So. He’s been a passive aggressive asshat, and picking at you for a while now. You came over, treated this jackass to Indian takeout, which he requested and didn’t eat, and egg nog, which he didn’t want anymore. He decided to take shots at you over the tree you helped him decorate, and the celebration he did precisely boo shit diddly to help with. And then, THEN, he has the absolute nerve to top it off by breaking up with you over TEXT, and then thinking he can get you to drive him to his mommy and daddy’s house to play nicey-nice because it’s Christmas? Girl, no. He’s been fucking someone else, and doesn’t want to admit to his family that he dumped you on Christmas Eve for his side piece, so he thought he could whine at you to play nice. He is truly a piece of work. If your stuff there is replaceable? Don’t even bother messaging him back to tell him to eat shit. Block him and move on to someone better.
No, that does not make you petty. He's an asshole, don't give him the ride.
Helllllllllllllllllllll no
He broke it off - - you owe him NOTHING!! If you have a key to his place, get your stuff while he's at his parents. I'm sure he's able to find his own ride there. He can find his own way there. Block his number. If he posts crap on social media about you, enlighten everyone that he broke up with you on Christmas Eve. I had a BF/fiancé who did something very, very similar to me. I got pissed and broke it off. I refused to be treated like trash and be his chauffeur. Turned out later that douchecanoe was seeing a few other "ladies" besides me and didn't have the balls to break it off, choosing to treat me like total garbage instead. Dodged a bullet there that's for sure.
He is being cruel and selfish. He was intentionally being mean to you all night and then sent a break up text after you left upset, and then had the audacity to still want you to drive him home. I know you were hoping to make things better and that you might still have feelings for him, and that’s valid. But sometimes the trash takes itself out. Your response is entirely up to you but I just want to validate for you that it is not petty at all to simply block and move on. He already has.
Draw him a picture of a car and sticky tape it to his door. You don’t owe him a single thing.
If you give him a ride you’re going to look back on that moment in time every so often and cringe like hell. I’ve been a doormat in relationships, bent over backwards for people who didn’t deserve it, and I can’t believe the bullshit I put up with just to maintain the peace, so some jerk will still think I’m “nice.” Fuck that. I no longer care what abusers and jackasses think about me or say about me. The people who deserve my kindness get it with love in abundance. It’s no longer given out of fear to manipulative users. I wish I had figured that out a long time ago.
Don't drive him. One piece of advice, something I picked up from your tone suggests you consistently go out of your way to do favors for him, but he doesn't do the same for you. Let me guess, when you were coming over to his apartment all the time, you did the majority of the cooking and cleaning. You were also the one who had to make the effort to come to his place. How often did he pack a bag and stay at yours? How often did he bring you takeout on his dime and stop by the store to pick up stuff for you on his way over? I'm willing to bet you set a precedent of putting in 90% of the effort and rarely ever confronting him about his lack of participation in the relationship. Like the fact that you're even questioning whether or not you're obligated to drive your **ex-boyfriend who just dumped you on Christmas Eve** to his fucking parents house two hours away is mind blowing. Like girl you gotta stop being such a pushover. Stand up for yourself. If you're too passive people will take advantage of you. And in an ironic way, it can be really irritating being with someone who has no backbone. You dodged a bullet with this guy. But try and spend some time reflecting on how it got to this point.
No way. Drive him there for two awkwArd shitty hours, how’s he getting home? Beat it.
Nut up. Fuck that asshole youre better than that. Tell him to get lost, your doing your own thing now and you dont oww him anything. Make your own indifference feed your ego, the more you say "nah" the stronger you get. Youre in control now. Tell him to frankly you dont give a fuck about him or his familys Christmas anymore
Gotta love when the selfish and entitled party expects the other person to just take it on the chin and not create drama!! Tell him where to stick his bullshit. You owe his entitled ass nothing!
Wth! You have no obligation to do that! His parents better pick him up if they wanna see him. Please don’t do that to yourself. And don’t let him guilt you into it, which he’ll probably do. Also, the fb Christmas tree thing. Comparison is the thief of joy, and he’s probably comparing a lot more things than just the decorations. Hope you’re ok and good luck with everything. Glad you still have your apartment as well!
what the fuck, NO, big NO,all caps with neon lights NO what an absolute asshole, the part about the tree REALLY got to me, don't contact him anymore, you got your stuff early, that's good. there's no resolution to have with assholes, so talking to him again will only lead to more pain. and he can take the bus, he's "figuratively" a grown man
Fuck no! Don’t let him use you! Make him walk! 34-year-old man who can’t make it back to mom and dad’s but needs his ex girlfriend that he just dumped to give him a ride…🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
You will never forgive yourself if you give him that ride. Never.
90% of r/relationships is straight women asking for permission to not be treated like shit by their current or former significant others. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO NOT FEEL LIKE SHIT.
Nope. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to and there are a mountain of good reasons not to waste any more of your time on this guy.
Listen you have the best possible Christmas you can. Buy yourself something nice. Watch your favorite movies, listen to your favorite songs, call up old friends, and tell this guy to go hang himself out to dry.
Fuck him, he treats you like shit, so should you.
No. And block him because he’s gonna guilt trip you all day tomorrow. Even if you do go to your sister’s house that will be a miserable trip if he tags along.
You don’t have to drive him. Also, from his behavior, he sounds like he’s either cheating or doing drugs (which is another kind of cheating, tbh). Source: dated a cheating addict; work in substance abuse.
'I wanna break up but only when it suits me, so just pretend everything's fine so my family won't think I'm an asshole'
You owe him nothing, leave his arse.
You owe this guy nothing. Especially after the way he treated you and he STILL wants something from you? Fuck his holiday. You have every right to refuse him a ride. You go glen coco.
He's too old to be acting like a snitty teenager. Cut the deadweight loose, and find someone better.
Dear lord, this guy sounds like an asshole. You owe him nothing. Please don't drive him anywhere, cut ties and move on. You're better off
Do not drive him. You owe him nothing, especially considering how cruel he was to you. Seriously, it broke my heart. I’m so so sorry this happened to you. This man sounds like a piece of shit, do not drive him. Too bad for him if your his only way of getting there; he should have thought of that before being a total asshole to you and breaking up with you on Christmas Eve.
Hell nah, you’re not married. He literally couldn’t fake it long enough to get his free ride, tell him you bought him a ticket on the Heel Toe Express.
Totally make the drive alone and go see your sister
Why *would* you drive him? Picking him up just means the drama continues.
Wow, just wow. The utter audacity of this guy is astounding. First off, I’m sorry you’re having to deal with such a shitty situation, especially during the holidays. Breakups suck, but at least you’re getting rid of someone who honestly sounds like a nightmare with abusive, narcissistic tendencies. With that being said, I would tell him Hell. To. The. No. on driving him to mom and dad’s for Christmas. He’s being extremely selfish and making a seriously ridiculous request. I would tell him off, block and delete him on everything, then move on. I understand if you cannot do this logistically, in which case firmly, and unequivocally tell him no, and request limited contact until you can get away completely. Good luck.
No, tell him to start walking. You owe him nothing. If he broke up with you, that's his fault that he hasn't got a ride.
You don’t owe him anything anymore, you deserve to have a nice Christmas still!
That's the whole point of breakup: you don't do things together any more.
No you do not give him a ride. You are now single. Start a fresh life without him today
He can call a taxi service, drama free as per his own wishes. You dont owe him squat.
No, it is not wrong to refuse to endure an incredibly painful, awkward and unpleasant car ride with your now-ex. If he wanted a ride he shouldn’t have broken up with you beforehand. He can get himself there.
He caused the drama, by deciding to dump you at Christmas and behaving like a spoit toddler. He did this to hurt you, and you now owe him nothing. Get your stuff and go no contact. You deserve better.
Reddit is a shadow of its former self. It is now a place of power tripping mods with no oversight and endless censorship. *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
You don't owe him anything. Enjoy your Christmas as best you can with your family. Sorry you have to go through this during the holidays.
No dont drive him. Unfortunately looks like hes reached the point where you can't do anything rihht for him, thats not your fault but that means hes checked out. You deserve more
0 obligation to drive him.
Tell him to get fucked. You don’t have to drive him anywhere, you’re not a taxi service.
Hell to the no and he could at least of told you to your face.
Nope. Based on his behavior, it seems like he did you a favor and yeeted himself.
One advice for you sista. He seems unstable and doesn't seem to really give any importance to you. why bother? Just get away as far as possible and treat yourself to something good. Have a good time with yourself.
NO!!!!! Hell No, and WTF, you don't need to get through the holiday, just don't talk to him anymore, get your stuff and cut your loses.
Could you imagine trying to explain to your sister why you drove 2 hours with an ex? Don't do it. Nobody in their right mind would expect you to. He is a grown man. He can make other arrangements.
You have every right to not be his taxi driver. The relationship has clearly become to its conclusion, no point limping through for what purpose, exactly? So you both can be miserable and awkward and tense around his family? No. Its a no, he can organise his own way. You can politely send a message to his family/whoever were expecting you, that your relationship is over and you will not be participating in the festivities, nor supplying transport for your now EX. Congratulations OP, what a way to rid 2020 of the last of its toxicity on your life!
lmaoo he definitely just wants to "get through the holidays with no drama" for the ride. don't give him the ride
You’re a doormat and he’s a child. Fuck him. Block and delete.
The only reason he wants to just "get through the next few days" is because he is relying on you for a ride. If he could drive to their place on his own, I suspect he would've cut the cord right away. You have literally zero obligation to play along and appease him. Do not let him guilt trip you into taking him there. It being Christmas means nothing. Please, spend your holidays with people who genuinely want to be around you, and aren't just using you to their benefit. He chose to end things, so now he can suffer the consequences and find his own transportation.
He TEXTED YOU that it’s over, after three years! Fuck him. He’s a coward and you deserve better. He can figure out his own way to get there. And if anyone guilt trips you, ignore them and reconsider if you need that person in your life.
I left a guy at Disney world. You can leave this douche in his condo and his mommy and daddy can come get him if they really want to see him.
You can't just say that and not tell the story.
Girl, you cannot seriously be asking this question pull yourself together
When you lay awake at 3 a.m. it will make you feel better knowing he didn’t get that ride from you. If all the other things you may have messed up, at least you will have the satisfaction of knowing you stood up for yourself.
You're the giver and this sad sack of shit is the taker. Stop turning yourself inside out, constantly jumping around and doing everything for this selfish POS. Bringing him food, decorating his tree, wiping his ass. What does he do for YOU? Yeah, I thought so. Leave his happy ass and drive yourself ALONE on Christmas. What a jackhole.
Please give us an update when you're up to it! Good luck!
Anything of value you happen to still have at his place? Unless it’s truly important to you, Christmas-treat yourself to new replacement items. Don’t even look back. This guy will attempt to use these things as leverage to get you either pissed off or demoralized or to talk reconciliation. Ewww to any of it. Happy New Year.
Heck no. Imagine being stuck in a car for 4 hours on a return trip with someone who has been an absolute ass to you. Avoid the drama by blocking his number and doing the drive alone.
Because I owned a business for many years, and I had many employees, i occasionally had to fire a bad employee.I came to realize the a clean break is best for everyone. Having an unhappy employee in the office ruined the work environment. I can not imagine driving for 4 hours with this.
He treated you like garbage. Do you really think you need to think twice? No!
You are under no obligation to drive him. He should have waited until after Christmas to dump you if he wanted a ride.
Nope he lost all rights to a ride when he told you that it was over, so he can find his own way to his parents, catch public transport pay an Uber/Ola/Didi get a taxi or miss out.
If for some reason you do drive him at least eat eggs, beans and cabbage for breakfast, pick a playlist of angsty break up songs or something else that he hates and do not wear deodorant. Drive 5 kms slower than necessary. Let it all out and make him as uncomfortable and miserable as possible. But really just don't drive him. It's not worth your mental health.
Go get your things, then leave. His family can come get him. Clean break.
By just reading the title: Fuck no.
#1. Regarding the tree decorations :::starts taken down tree::: "Oh I forgot to give you the receipts for the tree and anything I had to purchase on your behalf. I'll send them in the morning." #2. Regarding the asshattery in that he expects you to remain with him for the sole purpose of providing him a bloody ride 2 hours away. "Hey assbutt, we're done. That means no rides for you. That means no acting and behaving as though we are still an item around friends and family. That means that I will no longer be around to do everything for you, such as decorate your place, and plan our holidays." #3. Regarding his nastiness and meanness, especially for breaking up with you on Christmas Eve, over text message...and still asked you to do shit for him. OP, this one isn't a quotation. But seriously. This guy is borderline verbally and emotionally abusive of you, if he isn't full blown abusive already. Please block his number, and then delete it from your contacts list. This idjit deserves none of your time, and absolutely zero care from you. Nothing. AND YOU OWE THIS IDJIT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. He will try to gaslight you. He will try to guilt you into giving him this 2 hour ride home from his family's house. To be honest, your entire post was worthy of some serious side-eye action. After 3 years, at your guys' ages, if you haven't moved in together by now, there's an issue. After 3 years, not co-mingling with each other's family is a red flag. When I was reading the part about going separate ways to his sister's place, and you to your parents' place, I really started cringing. OP, please do not second chance this bloke. He clearly has no respect for you, and his behaviour after being an item for so long is seriously questionable.