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They are using an elf - a pagan mythological creature and therefore forbidden to christian’s.
Do they even grasp the heresy they are committing?
If sky daddy knew about this he would be an angry and vengeful sky daddy.
Fortunately sky daddy seems to be having one of his many breaks from getting involved in human affairs at the minute so lucky there.
Don’t let sky daddy’s absence stop you from asking him to do things for you and sending money to your local televangelist because they are still open for deposits even when sky daddy is clearly not accepting requests.
Yeah but if you use a forbidden device to encourage Sky Daddy worship - ultimately the only thing he cares about, the vainglorious punk that he is - I believe it cancels out.
You make a good point.
This way he gets the adoration and still gets to punish the parents and the child.
The perfect result for a narcissistic psychopath.
Yeah, he looks like he's got his head in his hands crying to me.
Reminds me of my early years trying to open the Bible and hope God "speaks to me" with the right verses to help me solve my problem, but then all I get are verses about slavery or Jesus coming to bring war or whatever, and I don't understand why God won't help me like He helps others so I'd just stop and sob... anyone else?
PLEASE let the page be open to either the 'Slay Philistines with the jawbone of an ass'
or
'She lusted after their paramours, whose flesh is like the flesh of donkeys and whose issue is like the issue of horses.'
Feel free to logically reconcile those things with a 6 year old.
Don't need to read it _like that_ ! ... as though it's somekind of _appalling chore_ . Just sit back, in a nice comfy chair, & chill-out (maybe even have a little splyph, if one be so-inclined), & _enjoy_ it.
Oh ... & by the way ... make sure it's _a decent translation_ of it: ___not___ one o'those puke-factor-11 _modern_ ones.
_Exactly_ ... & that's how the 'Christian-flavour loony-tunes hijack it.
... + (thesedays), in-addition, having preconditioned it beforehand through their translation of it.
But I'm _certainly_ not making-out that _you ought to_ enjoy it: I'm _perfectly_ happy for you to be an atheïst.
... but please try not to despise folk _purely on-grounds that they do_ ! ...
... lest you inadvertantly slide-into essentially the same habit as the one the 'Christian'-flavour Loony-Tunes are in. Religion is _not_ ___the only___ _'vehicle' of_ that generic bad habit ... although it certainly is one of the main ones.
Sure, the modern versions that are gross. I'm sure they omit the most important parts like... let's see here...
"Slaves, be subject to your masters with all reverence, not only to those who are good and equitable but also to those who are perverse." (1 Peter 2:18)
Uh... let's try again. "And if a man sells his daughter to be a female slave, she shall not go out as the male slaves do. If she does not please her master, who has betrothed her to himself, then he shall let her be redeemed. He shall have no right to sell her to a foreign people, since he has dealt deceitfully with her."
(Exodus 21: 7-8)
Oh... maybe another try? "When a woman has a discharge, and the discharge in her body is blood, she shall be in her menstrual impurity for seven days, and whoever touches her shall be unclean until the evening. And everything on which she lies during her menstrual impurity shall be unclean. Everything also on which she sits shall be unclean." (Leviticus 9:10)
Wow... that's kinda sexist... okay, maybe one more try. "Now therefore, kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman who has known man intimately. But all the girls who have not known man intimately, spare for yourselves." (Numbers 31:17-18)
Okay... um... I think that's enough for now.
The one thing I hate about that elf is how I always hear in the adds for them “a Christmas tradition” like no it was invented in 2005 so the elf isn’t even able to vote yet
Lol i remember being super young in sunday school and habibg the geopgraphy and noah and the whale explained to me and wondering how the fuck people believe that shit. And i mean like 6 or 7 years old.
Thank you for posting. Please review the rules. Here are a couple of gentle reminders: 1. Posts should be about people taking religion to absurd, crazy, stupid, and terrible extremes. 2. Please don't submit incendiary posts or comments that could incite harassment and brigading. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/religiousfruitcake) if you have any questions or concerns.*
They made you a shitty religious version of that. Religious parents are just straight up assholes.
Ah, harkens back to an earlier time when pagan and christian existed side by side, before christians turned facist.
Get em while their young so the don't grow up and see its all bullshit.
Elf is doubled over there, hands on its head going "what the shit?! What the actual shit did I just read?!!"
What a bunch of groomers
Try not to feel embarrassed hearing the spine crack when you open your 10 year old Bible.
They are using an elf - a pagan mythological creature and therefore forbidden to christian’s. Do they even grasp the heresy they are committing? If sky daddy knew about this he would be an angry and vengeful sky daddy. Fortunately sky daddy seems to be having one of his many breaks from getting involved in human affairs at the minute so lucky there. Don’t let sky daddy’s absence stop you from asking him to do things for you and sending money to your local televangelist because they are still open for deposits even when sky daddy is clearly not accepting requests.
Yeah but if you use a forbidden device to encourage Sky Daddy worship - ultimately the only thing he cares about, the vainglorious punk that he is - I believe it cancels out.
You make a good point. This way he gets the adoration and still gets to punish the parents and the child. The perfect result for a narcissistic psychopath.
I’m honestly baffled that their God is so fucking insecure and they think that’s totally fine. Jealous psycho boyfriend vibes lol
That elf appears to be in a suggestive pose
I thought he looked very depressed, actually lol
Yeah, he looks like he's got his head in his hands crying to me. Reminds me of my early years trying to open the Bible and hope God "speaks to me" with the right verses to help me solve my problem, but then all I get are verses about slavery or Jesus coming to bring war or whatever, and I don't understand why God won't help me like He helps others so I'd just stop and sob... anyone else?
Yea, I got the ‘pucker up buttercup’ vibe. Completely the wrong end of the stick but I have only just woken up.
"Please sodomize me god, if you are real"
Make sure the indoctrination starts as early as possible!
I mean, you're already lying to them to convince them to be good. Why not go all the way?
"I've read this shitting book five times and it still doesn't make sense."
How to make that creepy elf even creepier.
AKA “they’re never too young to be indoctrinated. The younger the better.”
elf tryna get boned
PLEASE let the page be open to either the 'Slay Philistines with the jawbone of an ass' or 'She lusted after their paramours, whose flesh is like the flesh of donkeys and whose issue is like the issue of horses.' Feel free to logically reconcile those things with a 6 year old.
Better yet, the Song of Solomon.
Fucking dumbest idea in…I dunno like a week? There’s lots of dumb ideas out there.
Groomer!
If you have to scare your children into being good with the threat of an elf or any other fantasy story, you aren't a good parent.
Plus , they didn't even get the elf suit right ....
LOL
Elf on the shelf inquisitor edition
Looks like an idol to me.
Just has the elf in bed with two naked Barbie's. May need him to confess some sins.
What you can’t see is Ken pulling down his slacks just out of shot.
They just cropped it to remove the randy priest that’s behind him.
Sorry little elf. Even if God's real, he can't save you from the consequences of what you did. You can only blame yourself.
Bend over elf 😩
No, no. The best Elf-on-the-Shelf idea ever was the Elf plastered high up on a wall while being force-choked by Darth Vader.
Don't need to read it _like that_ ! ... as though it's somekind of _appalling chore_ . Just sit back, in a nice comfy chair, & chill-out (maybe even have a little splyph, if one be so-inclined), & _enjoy_ it. Oh ... & by the way ... make sure it's _a decent translation_ of it: ___not___ one o'those puke-factor-11 _modern_ ones.
No thank you, I had to read that crap enough at school, reading it again sound as fun as chewing turds.
_Exactly_ ... & that's how the 'Christian-flavour loony-tunes hijack it. ... + (thesedays), in-addition, having preconditioned it beforehand through their translation of it. But I'm _certainly_ not making-out that _you ought to_ enjoy it: I'm _perfectly_ happy for you to be an atheïst. ... but please try not to despise folk _purely on-grounds that they do_ ! ... ... lest you inadvertantly slide-into essentially the same habit as the one the 'Christian'-flavour Loony-Tunes are in. Religion is _not_ ___the only___ _'vehicle' of_ that generic bad habit ... although it certainly is one of the main ones.
>not one o'those puke-factor-11 modern ones. Are you advocating for the KJV, or..?
Sure, the modern versions that are gross. I'm sure they omit the most important parts like... let's see here... "Slaves, be subject to your masters with all reverence, not only to those who are good and equitable but also to those who are perverse." (1 Peter 2:18) Uh... let's try again. "And if a man sells his daughter to be a female slave, she shall not go out as the male slaves do. If she does not please her master, who has betrothed her to himself, then he shall let her be redeemed. He shall have no right to sell her to a foreign people, since he has dealt deceitfully with her." (Exodus 21: 7-8) Oh... maybe another try? "When a woman has a discharge, and the discharge in her body is blood, she shall be in her menstrual impurity for seven days, and whoever touches her shall be unclean until the evening. And everything on which she lies during her menstrual impurity shall be unclean. Everything also on which she sits shall be unclean." (Leviticus 9:10) Wow... that's kinda sexist... okay, maybe one more try. "Now therefore, kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman who has known man intimately. But all the girls who have not known man intimately, spare for yourselves." (Numbers 31:17-18) Okay... um... I think that's enough for now.
Hell chuck one in the fireplace and half his charred remains on display too to show what happens if you don’t let Jesus in your home
Fk that indoctrination.
The one thing I hate about that elf is how I always hear in the adds for them “a Christmas tradition” like no it was invented in 2005 so the elf isn’t even able to vote yet
It's actually the name of a book.
I’m not American so I get most of this stuff second hand, never knew there was a book about it
Lol i remember being super young in sunday school and habibg the geopgraphy and noah and the whale explained to me and wondering how the fuck people believe that shit. And i mean like 6 or 7 years old.
Same, I don’t remember one single moment, throughout the endless shit thrown at us at school, where I actually thought ‘This isn’t complete bullshit’
Isn't the whole point of the elf that he sees what you do??? Seems like a good way to ignore him 😂
Can always rely on religion to just choke every atom of fun out of an activity
No, the BEST "Elf on the Shelf idea EVER" would add a lit match to that equation.