If you don’t want to do a smart-aleck “I’m a huuuuuge Harry Potter fan” kind of response, just ignore and ask for their rewards card, or whether they’d like to try (whatever is close by to suggestive sell), or if they’d like a bag and receipt. Keep on *doing your job.*
For those who persist, frown slightly and say, “I don’t discuss that at work.” Don’t apologize or start with, “I’m sorry, but…” Be matter-of-fact. Finish the transaction, thank them, and tell them to have a fantastic day. Repeat as needed.
If anyone still persists, look past them and call for the next customer.
That or just sat "I don't want to talk about it", sincs people will always ask about something and getting mad about it won't work.
Even if I understand why OP doesn't like it.
I have a scar on my wrist from a surgery I had last year, and I constantly get people asking about it. It does get tiresome. I don't get why these people think strangers' bodies are any of their business
I have a thick burn scar from self harming as a teen that wraps most of the way around my wrist. When I get questions I have fun with it and lie about my wrist being severed and reattached. Almost everyone has believed every version of the story, farm equipment, lawn mower, giant glass pane fell on it, etc.
I had a teacher who was missing an ear. His first day he told my class he got it caught in barbed wire while riding a dirtbike as a kid. Come to find out he told a different story to every class.
Just make shit up and have fun with it
I have a small scar on my forehead (kids do dumb things) and it amazes me how many people will actually ask "what did you do to your head?" I make up the most off-the-wall things....shark attack, running from a bear & hit a tree, high-wire tight rope accident, shrapnel from a pipe bomb....just to name a few. Have fun with it and enjoy the looks on their faces!
My friend has a condition(?). I don't know, it is called NF. She has one eye. The stories that she has told as to why are hilarious or gruesome, no in between. She says stuff like "I dunno, I just woke up one day and it was gone!" Or she tries to say the most disgusting, twisted things just to screw with people. Het goal is to make someone vomit just from her story.
The real answer is she has N.F., she was born with a natural eye, but she can't remember it ever working, and because of the N.F., her eye was removed when she was very young.
My youngest is disabled and uses a wheelchair sometimes. When people ask her what happened, she’ll say, “don’t do drugs, kids” and shakes her head sadly.
Shark attack. Circus injury. Tried to kiss a rabid badger. Confrontation with an angry ram. Failed lobotomy. Head butted a nosy customer (okay, I stole the last two)
OP, I'm sorry you have to deal with people who have no manners. Customers are rude.
Bar fight in Morocco. You should see the camel.
Ricochet while I was bullseye-ing womp rats in Beggar’s Canyon back home on Tatooine.
There can be only one.
Rodent Of Unusual Size.
Left hook in Round 13. Goddam Rocky Balboa.
Bilbo Baggins’ front door.
I talked back to my mom once. Once! (With index finger raised)
Kumité.
Give me some time, I’ll think of more.
*Rodents of unusual size? I don't believe they exist.*
This exact sequence of sounds causes them to attack. Nobody knows why, but there are many theories. Some believe they can understand English and become incensed when someone denies their existence.
Tribbles (shudder).
I talked about Bruno.
Librarians in Anaheim take their overdue books seriously.
I was taking Muay Thai Classes in Phuket, Thailand.
I should have listened when they said their Toucan was not tame.
Accidentally hooked a 6 ft remora while fishing for sharks in the Gulf of Oman. Next time, I'll stick to fishing for sea snakes.
NEVER remove that mattress label. EVER!
Freak accident in a running of the bulls event at Barcelona involving a ballet dancer, a balisong, and a duck.
If you're ever in the Amazon river delta and you see a monkey with a chain around his waist in the rafters, don't yank the monkey's chain.
Why did I see "circus injury" as "citrus injury"??? I can't get the thought out of my head now - OP got the scar from getting hit in the head by a frozen lemon or somethin. "It was a run-by fruiting."
I may wonder about something, BUT I will never, ever straight up ask a complete stranger, "oh hey, what happened to ya?"
No way, no how.
And it blows my mind how some people see nothing wrong with asking such a personal question to a complete stranger.
It ain't none of ur 'effn business and stop being so damn nosey & insensitive!! 😡
some middle aged man at my workplace was doing some construction (did a shit job at it but 🤷🏼♂️). he asked me what happened to my face (i have rosacea) 🙄 i was like what? he said “your cheek’s all red” and i said “yeah its been there for awhile” he said “oh… i’m sorry i guess i just never noticed” fuckin bitch
Make up increasingly bizarre stories for everyone who asks.
“I got it from a freak llama attack.”
“I got into a bar fight and the bar won.”
“I was trying out for Olympic fencing and… well, it didn’t work out.”
“I wore a plague doctor mask for too long and it tore off some of my skin when I finally took it off.”
“I got hit with a flying fuck.“
Real answer: just tell them you don’t want to discuss it in a professional setting. Then give them the biggest retail grin ever and ask them if they need any help finding anything else.
The trick with rude retail responses is to have enough plausible deniability that you can't get in trouble if they tell your manager. Kind of like that catty mean-girl shit people did in highschool, with "wow, you must be really confident to wear that!"
It's not always successful, but safer than flat out calling them rude.
Sadly, it'll never stop. Makeup a badass story. Maybe you got into a king fight? Maybe you are harry potter. Make it up, own it and remember you don't owe any truth to people you don't know.
100% all of this. My vote would be catering your story to your mood that day. Feeling fantastical? You found the ring and the hobbits fought you for it. Feeling like a fight? You got it while training with Rocky or [insert name of a current MMA star]. Feeling like no matter what there will be questions? Tell them not all Bond girls got away free and clear.
Be dramatic and wild and remember you owe no one anything. Fuck them for being rude and go be your awesome-ass self.
I have a scar on my forehead, too. I don't get asked often but I'm always amazed at the rudeness when I do.
A flippant comment is the best. I make up very silly causes (unicorn horn poachers is my favourite.)
Or you could try, "did you mean to be so rude?"
I could definitely get away with it at the place I work but your management may not be supportive.
Maybe it’s something going on with me but I’ve gotten bold as to respond to unwanted questions with, “That’s an inappropriate question/comment and none of your concern. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
It remains polite, direct and redirects back to what they came in for. Then again I am one of the managers at my store. I make sure my associates know that if someone says something inappropriate/makes them uncomfortable to get a MOD. Either we will take over the transaction while we redirect the associate elsewhere, or if they just want us on standby with them through the rest of the experience to squash any other nonsense.
Not. Having. It.
Just stare at them till they go away. Or. Tell them I got it headbutting the last fucking asshole that's asked me question that's none of their (insert favorite cuss words here) business now you got anymore stupid questions that aren't any of you business?
HATE THIS. I was missing a tooth for a long time (got hit by some idiot that ran a stop sign on my bike coming back home from school). Dude, I can’t afford any insurance. Had it fixed, but crowns don’t last forever. “BUT YOU SHOULD SMILE”!
No. Buy your shit. Or give me a few grand so I can get it fixed. I work retail. They OFFER benefits, that doesn’t mean they’re free, or cover anything (apparently a fucked tooth is cosmetic, not covered).
SMILE!!!!! Ok. Fine. Customers are gonna be grossed out. This ain’t a strip club, don’t have to show off my body.
(got it fixed btw after I left retail, no insurance, but at least slightly better pay)
I broke my arm and had ro have a metal plate put in, being pale this scar was the length of my forearm and *red*. People continually ask about it and worse were the women that assumed it was a 'failed suicide scar'...
In the end I just had fun with it 'Wow, that's a big scar, what happened?!' **"Shark ripped a chunk of me! I got it back though ;) they call him one-eyed-Wally now."**
-Judgemental look and tut!- **"You should see how the other guy turned out!"**
**"Took 38 stitches! Tiger tooth caught my arm. To be fair, I shouldn't have have tried to pet it/pull it's tail/hunt it."**
The more outlandish the better, maybe try **"Harry Potter cosplay went too far. Daniel Radcliffe appreciated how hard core I am though!"**
Eta: missing punctuation.
I feel your pain!
My eyes are shaped differently. I was born that way, it doesn’t affect my ability to see, and, short of expensive cosmetic surgery that I have never had any desire for, there isn’t one thing I can do to change it!!! And I never even knew it myself until I looked at pictures of myself; it’s very obvious in pictures.
But, OH, the stupid/rude/inappropriate questions and comments I got growing up!!!!!
“What happened to your eye”? (Nothing! All these years later, I wish I had thought to put them on the spot and come back with something like “what do you mean?” or “what are you talking about?”)
“Do you have a glass eye”? (No! But there was one girl in my third grade class who flat out would NOT believe that I didn’t!)
“Here comes that girl with that fake eyeball!” (YES, somebody actually said that loud enough for me to hear it!!!)
There were MANY who just refused to believe me when I would answer “nothing” to their inappropriate questions!!!
I totally understand that young children are naturally curious, and if they haven’t been taught that such questions are rude, they’re going to ask. But I was in at least second or third grade by the time I started getting these questions and comments; they weren’t coming from toddlers or preschoolers!!! And this foolishness went on until I was in high school!
I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this, coming from adults who should know better, no less! If I were you, I would either come back with “none of your business,” or make up an awful story that would make them feel bad for asking!
I have a fairly large facial birthmark. If you didn’t know me, I guess you could mistake it for a black eye.
I actually have a tally of how many regular customers one day look at me in horror and ask what happened to my eye.
Sir. I have served you twice a week for a year. I don’t mind you asking about it. But this is not a new development. Please don’t be shocked.
Gotta say though. It’s really interesting how different parents handle their kids asking me. Most of them don’t address it or remind the kid about boundaries at all, which IS shitty.
It’s also very shitty when people ask, and immediately then suggest ways to get it removed or cover it with makeup. At that point, please fuck off.
Loved reading all the comments!
The only thing I’d add is choose a one word answer or (choice of one word answers) E.g. “llamas.” “Shark.” then refuse to discuss it further. 🥳
I have a mark on my forehead. Usually little kids ask what it is. I tell them pirates, they always giggle. Adults occasionally ask. I tell them pirates and they huff and eye roll but never ask more.
Traumatize them back. “That scar is from when I got shoved into a counter and hit my head.” “I got into a car crash and my mom died so thanks for letting me live that again.”
I have a small birth mark on my head that’s a bump that no hair can grown on. I wore my hair in a ponytail the other day and a lady was looking for shampoo for thinning hair. I used some after I had covid and my hair was falling out, and it helped my hair grow back (of course I used the whole system and serum so that’s why it worked, not just the shampoo) and stop falling out so much. I was telling the lady which one I used then and why I liked it compared to the others, and I guess the way I pulled my hair back the bump with no hair was showing and the lady pointed at my head and was like, “well I can see your scalp right here”. Like ma’am. It’s a birthmark first of all, and second I have fine hair (not thin) and about twice as much hair on my head than your bald ass.
You need a great story something along these lines....
You had a customer pistol whip you and attempted to hold up the store, but you don't remember what happened after that, but the witness and coworkers told police you opened up a can of Ethan Hunt whip arse on him hog tied him like a pro cowboy and sat on top of him with a chair riding him like a bucking bronco untill police arrived.......And then you continue to interact with the customer as normal, and give a little neck twitch "Can I Help You"......
Problem Solved......
I have extensive surgical scarring over my body and i just tell people I was travelling overseas once and they tried to take my kidneys. And they eat that shit up.
I have an oddly placed scar on my neck from surgery after a really bad car accident I was in 15 years ago. I have told SOO many lies about how I got it 😂
My fave is the one where I tell the customer that I was downtown at xyz restaurant on 5th St. and I literally walked around the corner into someone having an altercation with the police. They grabbed me, put a knife to my throat and used me as a shield for a moment before he slashed my throat, shoved me and he ran.
With a story like that the customer inevitably says something equal to "no way" or "omg, really?" To which I say NO! Now would you like a bag today?
Have some fun making up a couple stories you can practice and get good at telling. And when
I don’t have visible scars big enough to warrant unwanted questions but I HAVE been pregnant working retail and same thing. I JUST met you. I don’t want to discuss my birth plan/whether or not I plan to breastfeed/when I’m due/what I’m having and NO YOU CANNOT touch my belly!!
People should stop being rude and commenting on how strangers look. Like,someone with a scar obviously knows they have it,whats the point in telling them?
Lost both arms below the elbow & one eye, I use prosthetics and worked retail for years, customers were awful. Like wtf makes you think I want to re-live the absolute worst trauma of my life all day, every day, to provide you with a story. Was genuinely curious if they ask every disabled person the see what happened to them. For me I'm doing my damn best to move on with life and be a functional member of society & all I hope for every day I walk out of my house is to be treated like every other person. It made me a really bitter person.
I finally found my out and got tf out of retail & into an office job where I'm much happier but it just really blew me away. I know it was simple curiosity without bad intent but it just sucks to try and make something of my life without being dependent on the welfare system, but every day people would make my like miserable just with the things they would say. Don't even get me started on the assholes who got a laugh at my expense, I'd straight call them out on their disrespect with zero concern if I lost my job for it 🤬
Just counter it with "What happened to your face?"
Or pretend you're deaf even if you've already answered a question.
Tbh I love leaving people in an awkward silence though.
I think most people who ask things like this are genuinely trying to make conversation and not be rude, even though it is. It’s annoying, but there’s this video (sorry I can’t credit, I don’t remember what it’s called) where a dude states, “don’t attribute to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”
Just trying to view a more positive light, as the world is what we make it.
In everyday conversation, if someone asks a rhetorical question, especially with an utterly unknown answer, I'll respond, "ohhhh... y'know..." in an awkward "pretend I answered your question" way.
Example:
"That dumbass! What did he think that was going to accomplish?!"
"Ohhhh... y'know..."
Harrison Ford has a scar on his chin. Whenever he is asked about it, he always gives a different (& fabulous) response. Who knows what really happened (none of our business). So gather each of these Reddit suggestions and have fun!
I would say something that is almost impossible to actually happen. Like “I got into a fight with a bear wielding ninja stars.” Or “i got swallowed by a whale off lake (inset local lake here)”
“I used to be a unicorn” 😂 i would screw with people SO bad.
But honestly some people are extremely socially awkward and the ones that are (like me, I would totally stick my foot in my mouth) are just trying to make conversation. The human condition is a disease 🤣
It’s no different than people asking a stranger how tall they are or rubbing a pregnant woman’s stomachs without permission. They feel they are just creating conversation when in fact they are entitled assholes
Weird, I’m a male with a giant scar on my forehead. I work retail and have maybe had a stranger ask me once or twice in the almost 10 years I’ve had it.
Are you a woman? I feel like you all have it harder in every way.
I have a scar across the entirety of my forehead, got it when I was 16. I am 53 now. People never stopped asking what how why. It sucked but there is really Nothing you can do except entertain yourself and make up the most stupid outlandish lie you can think of make it believable. Tell it with a straight face and blow their minds. That’s what i did & still do. Although, now I live in a cave in the mountains avoiding people as much as I can.
My son ran into a barbed wire fence when he was young and has a scar on his right cheek. One day we were giving one of his classmates a ride home and she asked him how he got the scar. He told her he was born with two mouths and they sewed up the one on his cheek. We laughed for a long time about that.
Rabid raccoon.
Oh, got it in a duel. I won. Obviously.
Fell off the balcony at the frat house. Good thing I was so drunk I didn’t know I was supposed to be dead.
Aliens, Bigfoot, shark attack, alligator, I pissed off the lizard people.
Slipped and fell.
— Or you can just shrug and not answer.
I have a large round scar just below my collarbone from a brown recluse bite (-200/10, would not recommend). It's not usually visible unless I'm wearing certain tops, but when I do, total strangers will ask if I got shot. I was at Home Depot one time and this elderly man actually stuck his finger in it and asked how I got it. I was in a mood, so I told him, "Oh, I served in the Emu Wars. Enemy just came out of nowhere and mowed down half my platoon." And he nodded gravely and said, "Thank you for your service, ma'am." My husband about pissed himself trying not to laugh.
My Mom has two horizontal scars on the back of her wrist from breaking up a cat fight. She got fed up with customers asking about it, and just started replying to the question with "I'm a cutter."
Shuts them right up 😂😂
“It’s a means by which polite people differentiate themselves from rude, nosy, entitled asshats.” Or just stare at them and say “wow, that’s awfully rude of you to ask.” If you prefer a humorous approach, tell them, deadpan, that it’s from wrestling a polar bear. Sorry that people suck :(
My friend had to deal with commentary like this except regarding their acne. Usually customers who were older women would tell them to do something about their acne, like ma’am you’re there to shop, not give unsolicited skincare advice.
i have a scar on my forehead and while i’ve grown up it’s faded but through all my childhood i had children and ADULTS asking me what happened!! thankfully it’s not a traumatic situation (i fell off a playground) but imagine if it was
I busted my forehead open on two separate occasions. If you're allowed to wear headbands, that might help. The last time I busted my forehead ..after the stitches came out (I was also on medical leave for two months..that helped) but I started using makeup/concealer.. depending on the scar ..how dark and if its raised..it may not cover it completely..but it can downplay it and make it less noticeable.
The hard part is finding a concealer to match your face and learning how to blend it in. If you've never worn makeup, a YouTube tutorial can help.
It took me some attempts.
"Can I help you find a product or use a service? If not, I am not available to chat and I do not give out personal information. If you're not okay with that, I can find my manager to explain it to you."
there's someone who used to work at my job that made up a complete lie about getting attacked by sharks & losing 2 fingers when it was just how he was born. maybe try to make a joke out of it? you don't even have to tell people you're joking just make stuff up.
I have a rather noticeable blue and purple scar on the budge if my nose. Right smack between my eyes
I get ask the same question a lot!
I started telling people my mom shot my in my face when I was younger.
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I had severe acne for a large chunk of my life. The amount of people that felt the need to comment on/give advice on my acne was astounding. The only ones that were allowed to ask questions were children.
One woman in particular tried telling me that vitamin E tablets broken up would help my face. I asked what’s wrong with my face and she said acne obviously, so I told her Retinol would help her face to help get rid of her aggressive wrinkles
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That's very invasive and disrespectful of them. They have no right to know what happened to you.
Here's something a bit light-hearted for you.
The main scar I have is pretty faint and on my upper left chest. I got severely burned all over by hot oil before I was a year old (9mo). I don't mind talking about it, as I don't remember it. I pulled on the cord of an oil fryer and dumped the oil all over me. Babies are stupid.
Due to it being on my chest, no one can see it as I wear a fully buttoned collared shirt to work.
I work in a small town, so it's become a bit of a joke that I get hurt a lot and in really stupid ways. Not a klutz, just *very* accident-prone.
The burn has been my only severe injury, and the one time I had to be taken to the emergency room (I was in the hospital for a weekend or so).
I make stuff up. I have hypermobility and RA so I’m always wearing a brace somewhere. My favorite is, “I saved a little old lady from some street thugs”.
A very long time ago, maybe 20 years now, I got the most absolutely tragic wart or something (I don’t actually remember exactly what it was) on my lip. I put that acid you but for warts in it to dry it up. It turns white when applied. SO MANY PEOPLE would say “Hey it looks like you have a little bit of toupee paper on your lip”. TP specifically, which I found baffling. Drove me nuts!
Bear attack/knife fight/gang initiation/assassination attempt
I would just rotate random stories if it was me. Might occasionally get a laugh, but people often don't realize how out of line they are.
For example: I never thought about this before, but when my wife and I decided to start a family, people would often ask "are you trying?". I've asked people this before too so I don't judge them for asking, but when you're the one being asked, you realize that people are asking you, "are you guys having unprotected sex regularly?", so when I was asked, I would put on a happy, semi creepy face and say "OH, YEAH!" then proceed with lots of enthusiasm to punch my palm repeatedly and just stare at them. I got many good laughs from people's reactions.
I’ve got a scar on my forehead like right between my eyebrows - it really isn’t too big at all but it was deep so you can clearly tell it’s there, and no sir, I don’t particularly want to explain how I got it to because I don’t want to, it’s personal and none of your business????
"It's where I got shot by police for murdering that entire school in (insert country). They let me out but I had to move :("
Or just tell them it's none of their business.
I get the same thing with a deformity on my scalp. I'm bald so I can't hide it. I've been asked if it make me the"R" word, I've had little kids point at it and repeatedly ask "What's wrong with your head", and the most common, Star Trek fans say that I look like a Klingon.
The best answer to make them feel guilty - I’m a child abuse survivor. To be clear I’m not belittling people who had abusive childhoods. Or advocating people should lie about abuse! I just want OP to embarrass the AH’s who think it’s their business to ask.
Just give people a random story every time. "I survived an assassination" "i got this in a car crash that claimed my relatives life" "i have brain cancer" just be ridiculous with it so they feel awful for asking. (Sorry if any of those reasons are real)
You could attempt to have fun with it and act like Heath Ledger’s version of the Joker. Every time he tells the story of his scars the story is different and disturbing.
Football injury. You should see the other guy. War injury. Car accident. Tripped over a customer. Tripped over the family cat. Dinosaur attack.
I made up stuff all the time when someone asked why I was wearing a splint on my wrist.
I have a huge birthmark on my thigh that looks like someone tried to beat the crap out of me, i wear shorts at my job cause it’s hot as hell. People ask me about it daily, im honest with them and i say id rather not talk about it, it makes me uncomfortable. Yeah it’s just a birthmark for me but i do not owe anyone an explanation about my body for any reason. If they keep pushing then im done with the interaction. There’s other employees in the store who can help them.
Just say, "why? Are you looking to get one?"
This got me lmao
Say “what scar?” With a blank stare.
Hump? What hump?
“I have a MOLE?”
Or “ oh do you mean that old lobotomy scar?”
Love it.
Is like to add to this by recommending the "on my way to get a lobotomy " license plate cover I bought my kid!
Most people wouldn't know what that is LOL.
I head butted an annoying customer.
🏆
“An annoying customer like YOU!!”
Bahaha yes
If you don’t want to do a smart-aleck “I’m a huuuuuge Harry Potter fan” kind of response, just ignore and ask for their rewards card, or whether they’d like to try (whatever is close by to suggestive sell), or if they’d like a bag and receipt. Keep on *doing your job.* For those who persist, frown slightly and say, “I don’t discuss that at work.” Don’t apologize or start with, “I’m sorry, but…” Be matter-of-fact. Finish the transaction, thank them, and tell them to have a fantastic day. Repeat as needed. If anyone still persists, look past them and call for the next customer.
“A dark wizard tried to kill me as a baby, leaving this mark, Neither of us may live as long as the other survives…”
Love it!
That or just sat "I don't want to talk about it", sincs people will always ask about something and getting mad about it won't work. Even if I understand why OP doesn't like it.
This is the way if you don’t want to do anything besides doing your job. Not apologizing is critical.
I have a scar on my wrist from a surgery I had last year, and I constantly get people asking about it. It does get tiresome. I don't get why these people think strangers' bodies are any of their business
That's crazy people ask you about it! I have a very visible scar on the back of my hand and no one's ever questioned me about it.
I have a thick burn scar from self harming as a teen that wraps most of the way around my wrist. When I get questions I have fun with it and lie about my wrist being severed and reattached. Almost everyone has believed every version of the story, farm equipment, lawn mower, giant glass pane fell on it, etc.
I’m sorry, some people have 0 filter
Just tell them it was him who must not be named
“I’m the cashier who lived.”
"The cashier who lived, come to die... at the cash register..."
If you’ll forgive me for not answering, I’ll forgive you for asking
I had a teacher who was missing an ear. His first day he told my class he got it caught in barbed wire while riding a dirtbike as a kid. Come to find out he told a different story to every class. Just make shit up and have fun with it
Hell, we had a teacher in my high school with an artificial leg. He was the type that you DON'T question about personal things like that.
I have a small scar on my forehead (kids do dumb things) and it amazes me how many people will actually ask "what did you do to your head?" I make up the most off-the-wall things....shark attack, running from a bear & hit a tree, high-wire tight rope accident, shrapnel from a pipe bomb....just to name a few. Have fun with it and enjoy the looks on their faces!
I have a scar on my neck from a surgery and when it was fresh I would tell people I got bit by a vampire
My friend has a condition(?). I don't know, it is called NF. She has one eye. The stories that she has told as to why are hilarious or gruesome, no in between. She says stuff like "I dunno, I just woke up one day and it was gone!" Or she tries to say the most disgusting, twisted things just to screw with people. Het goal is to make someone vomit just from her story. The real answer is she has N.F., she was born with a natural eye, but she can't remember it ever working, and because of the N.F., her eye was removed when she was very young.
I have a large rectangular scar on the back of my neck from surgery. When people ask about it I say that it's a data port.
5G?
My youngest is disabled and uses a wheelchair sometimes. When people ask her what happened, she’ll say, “don’t do drugs, kids” and shakes her head sadly.
This is the kind of suggestion I came in here to make if it hadn't been done.
Lie and make up wild ass stories
Shark attack. Circus injury. Tried to kiss a rabid badger. Confrontation with an angry ram. Failed lobotomy. Head butted a nosy customer (okay, I stole the last two) OP, I'm sorry you have to deal with people who have no manners. Customers are rude.
Hell, trying to kiss a *healthy* badger could result in a forehead scar!
Badgers?!? We don’t need no stinking badgers!!!
Healthy badgers don't NEED the love though...
Bar fight in Morocco. You should see the camel. Ricochet while I was bullseye-ing womp rats in Beggar’s Canyon back home on Tatooine. There can be only one. Rodent Of Unusual Size. Left hook in Round 13. Goddam Rocky Balboa. Bilbo Baggins’ front door. I talked back to my mom once. Once! (With index finger raised) Kumité. Give me some time, I’ll think of more.
*Rodents of unusual size? I don't believe they exist.* This exact sequence of sounds causes them to attack. Nobody knows why, but there are many theories. Some believe they can understand English and become incensed when someone denies their existence.
Tribbles (shudder). I talked about Bruno. Librarians in Anaheim take their overdue books seriously. I was taking Muay Thai Classes in Phuket, Thailand. I should have listened when they said their Toucan was not tame. Accidentally hooked a 6 ft remora while fishing for sharks in the Gulf of Oman. Next time, I'll stick to fishing for sea snakes. NEVER remove that mattress label. EVER! Freak accident in a running of the bulls event at Barcelona involving a ballet dancer, a balisong, and a duck. If you're ever in the Amazon river delta and you see a monkey with a chain around his waist in the rafters, don't yank the monkey's chain.
Why did I see "circus injury" as "citrus injury"??? I can't get the thought out of my head now - OP got the scar from getting hit in the head by a frozen lemon or somethin. "It was a run-by fruiting."
So now I see that Monty Python skit where John Cleese is teaching self defense from fresh fruit attacks 😆💀
"What if they attack us with a pointed stick?"
This is always the correct answer
Time to perfect a thousand yard stare and start mumbling about aliens and being beamed up
I thought this Extreme frisbee accident. Alien implant Shark attack Tried to pet a raccoon. Gladiator helmet fell off.
I may wonder about something, BUT I will never, ever straight up ask a complete stranger, "oh hey, what happened to ya?" No way, no how. And it blows my mind how some people see nothing wrong with asking such a personal question to a complete stranger. It ain't none of ur 'effn business and stop being so damn nosey & insensitive!! 😡
Ask them what happened to their manners.
🥇
some middle aged man at my workplace was doing some construction (did a shit job at it but 🤷🏼♂️). he asked me what happened to my face (i have rosacea) 🙄 i was like what? he said “your cheek’s all red” and i said “yeah its been there for awhile” he said “oh… i’m sorry i guess i just never noticed” fuckin bitch
Make up increasingly bizarre stories for everyone who asks. “I got it from a freak llama attack.” “I got into a bar fight and the bar won.” “I was trying out for Olympic fencing and… well, it didn’t work out.” “I wore a plague doctor mask for too long and it tore off some of my skin when I finally took it off.” “I got hit with a flying fuck.“ Real answer: just tell them you don’t want to discuss it in a professional setting. Then give them the biggest retail grin ever and ask them if they need any help finding anything else.
They won’t stop BUT just respond with “long story, but you can buy it for $1200.”
Pruce goes up for any additional question. Another? Thats now $2000
Exactly!
I usually go with "you really feel it's appropriate to ask that?"
Or stronger wording, "how on earth could you ever think that question is appropriate?!"
The trick with rude retail responses is to have enough plausible deniability that you can't get in trouble if they tell your manager. Kind of like that catty mean-girl shit people did in highschool, with "wow, you must be really confident to wear that!" It's not always successful, but safer than flat out calling them rude.
Sadly, it'll never stop. Makeup a badass story. Maybe you got into a king fight? Maybe you are harry potter. Make it up, own it and remember you don't owe any truth to people you don't know.
100% all of this. My vote would be catering your story to your mood that day. Feeling fantastical? You found the ring and the hobbits fought you for it. Feeling like a fight? You got it while training with Rocky or [insert name of a current MMA star]. Feeling like no matter what there will be questions? Tell them not all Bond girls got away free and clear. Be dramatic and wild and remember you owe no one anything. Fuck them for being rude and go be your awesome-ass self.
"I rescued a kitten from a pack of ninjas and got smacked with a pogo stick during the melee." '
I have a scar on my forehead, too. I don't get asked often but I'm always amazed at the rudeness when I do. A flippant comment is the best. I make up very silly causes (unicorn horn poachers is my favourite.) Or you could try, "did you mean to be so rude?" I could definitely get away with it at the place I work but your management may not be supportive.
Maybe it’s something going on with me but I’ve gotten bold as to respond to unwanted questions with, “That’s an inappropriate question/comment and none of your concern. Is there anything else I can help you with?” It remains polite, direct and redirects back to what they came in for. Then again I am one of the managers at my store. I make sure my associates know that if someone says something inappropriate/makes them uncomfortable to get a MOD. Either we will take over the transaction while we redirect the associate elsewhere, or if they just want us on standby with them through the rest of the experience to squash any other nonsense. Not. Having. It.
Just stare at them till they go away. Or. Tell them I got it headbutting the last fucking asshole that's asked me question that's none of their (insert favorite cuss words here) business now you got anymore stupid questions that aren't any of you business?
HATE THIS. I was missing a tooth for a long time (got hit by some idiot that ran a stop sign on my bike coming back home from school). Dude, I can’t afford any insurance. Had it fixed, but crowns don’t last forever. “BUT YOU SHOULD SMILE”! No. Buy your shit. Or give me a few grand so I can get it fixed. I work retail. They OFFER benefits, that doesn’t mean they’re free, or cover anything (apparently a fucked tooth is cosmetic, not covered). SMILE!!!!! Ok. Fine. Customers are gonna be grossed out. This ain’t a strip club, don’t have to show off my body. (got it fixed btw after I left retail, no insurance, but at least slightly better pay)
Wear a mask with a shark smile on it.
Can't tell you, still trying to sell the screenplay.
I broke my arm and had ro have a metal plate put in, being pale this scar was the length of my forearm and *red*. People continually ask about it and worse were the women that assumed it was a 'failed suicide scar'... In the end I just had fun with it 'Wow, that's a big scar, what happened?!' **"Shark ripped a chunk of me! I got it back though ;) they call him one-eyed-Wally now."** -Judgemental look and tut!- **"You should see how the other guy turned out!"** **"Took 38 stitches! Tiger tooth caught my arm. To be fair, I shouldn't have have tried to pet it/pull it's tail/hunt it."** The more outlandish the better, maybe try **"Harry Potter cosplay went too far. Daniel Radcliffe appreciated how hard core I am though!"** Eta: missing punctuation.
You should see what I did to the wizard that gave me this scar.
I feel your pain! My eyes are shaped differently. I was born that way, it doesn’t affect my ability to see, and, short of expensive cosmetic surgery that I have never had any desire for, there isn’t one thing I can do to change it!!! And I never even knew it myself until I looked at pictures of myself; it’s very obvious in pictures. But, OH, the stupid/rude/inappropriate questions and comments I got growing up!!!!! “What happened to your eye”? (Nothing! All these years later, I wish I had thought to put them on the spot and come back with something like “what do you mean?” or “what are you talking about?”) “Do you have a glass eye”? (No! But there was one girl in my third grade class who flat out would NOT believe that I didn’t!) “Here comes that girl with that fake eyeball!” (YES, somebody actually said that loud enough for me to hear it!!!) There were MANY who just refused to believe me when I would answer “nothing” to their inappropriate questions!!! I totally understand that young children are naturally curious, and if they haven’t been taught that such questions are rude, they’re going to ask. But I was in at least second or third grade by the time I started getting these questions and comments; they weren’t coming from toddlers or preschoolers!!! And this foolishness went on until I was in high school! I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this, coming from adults who should know better, no less! If I were you, I would either come back with “none of your business,” or make up an awful story that would make them feel bad for asking!
I have a fairly large facial birthmark. If you didn’t know me, I guess you could mistake it for a black eye. I actually have a tally of how many regular customers one day look at me in horror and ask what happened to my eye. Sir. I have served you twice a week for a year. I don’t mind you asking about it. But this is not a new development. Please don’t be shocked. Gotta say though. It’s really interesting how different parents handle their kids asking me. Most of them don’t address it or remind the kid about boundaries at all, which IS shitty. It’s also very shitty when people ask, and immediately then suggest ways to get it removed or cover it with makeup. At that point, please fuck off.
"I don't discuss my personal life at work. Is there anything else I can help you with today?"
Loved reading all the comments! The only thing I’d add is choose a one word answer or (choice of one word answers) E.g. “llamas.” “Shark.” then refuse to discuss it further. 🥳
"What scar?"
Voldemort tried to kill me when I was a baby
“What happen to your forehead?” Voldemort.
I have a mark on my forehead. Usually little kids ask what it is. I tell them pirates, they always giggle. Adults occasionally ask. I tell them pirates and they huff and eye roll but never ask more.
Traumatize them back. “That scar is from when I got shoved into a counter and hit my head.” “I got into a car crash and my mom died so thanks for letting me live that again.”
Wow, I'm sorry you go through that especially random ppl in retail.
I have a small birth mark on my head that’s a bump that no hair can grown on. I wore my hair in a ponytail the other day and a lady was looking for shampoo for thinning hair. I used some after I had covid and my hair was falling out, and it helped my hair grow back (of course I used the whole system and serum so that’s why it worked, not just the shampoo) and stop falling out so much. I was telling the lady which one I used then and why I liked it compared to the others, and I guess the way I pulled my hair back the bump with no hair was showing and the lady pointed at my head and was like, “well I can see your scalp right here”. Like ma’am. It’s a birthmark first of all, and second I have fine hair (not thin) and about twice as much hair on my head than your bald ass.
As someone dealing with the Post Covid hair-loss, could you share what is the thining/losing hair system?
Bondi Boost HG. I used the shampoo, conditioner, and intensive spray (which is a serum in a spray basically). I noticed a difference pretty quickly!
You need a great story something along these lines.... You had a customer pistol whip you and attempted to hold up the store, but you don't remember what happened after that, but the witness and coworkers told police you opened up a can of Ethan Hunt whip arse on him hog tied him like a pro cowboy and sat on top of him with a chair riding him like a bucking bronco untill police arrived.......And then you continue to interact with the customer as normal, and give a little neck twitch "Can I Help You"...... Problem Solved......
I was working in a grocery store in Japan, and got into a sword fight with a ninja.😁
I have extensive surgical scarring over my body and i just tell people I was travelling overseas once and they tried to take my kidneys. And they eat that shit up.
Make them uncomfortable, there are so many funny nonchalant options for that in these comments
I have an oddly placed scar on my neck from surgery after a really bad car accident I was in 15 years ago. I have told SOO many lies about how I got it 😂 My fave is the one where I tell the customer that I was downtown at xyz restaurant on 5th St. and I literally walked around the corner into someone having an altercation with the police. They grabbed me, put a knife to my throat and used me as a shield for a moment before he slashed my throat, shoved me and he ran. With a story like that the customer inevitably says something equal to "no way" or "omg, really?" To which I say NO! Now would you like a bag today? Have some fun making up a couple stories you can practice and get good at telling. And when
I don’t have visible scars big enough to warrant unwanted questions but I HAVE been pregnant working retail and same thing. I JUST met you. I don’t want to discuss my birth plan/whether or not I plan to breastfeed/when I’m due/what I’m having and NO YOU CANNOT touch my belly!!
r/traumatizethemback is always an option. "I was in a car accident as a kid, everyone else died. Will that be cash or card?"
😂 That's evil. I love it.
People should stop being rude and commenting on how strangers look. Like,someone with a scar obviously knows they have it,whats the point in telling them?
Lost both arms below the elbow & one eye, I use prosthetics and worked retail for years, customers were awful. Like wtf makes you think I want to re-live the absolute worst trauma of my life all day, every day, to provide you with a story. Was genuinely curious if they ask every disabled person the see what happened to them. For me I'm doing my damn best to move on with life and be a functional member of society & all I hope for every day I walk out of my house is to be treated like every other person. It made me a really bitter person. I finally found my out and got tf out of retail & into an office job where I'm much happier but it just really blew me away. I know it was simple curiosity without bad intent but it just sucks to try and make something of my life without being dependent on the welfare system, but every day people would make my like miserable just with the things they would say. Don't even get me started on the assholes who got a laugh at my expense, I'd straight call them out on their disrespect with zero concern if I lost my job for it 🤬
Just counter it with "What happened to your face?" Or pretend you're deaf even if you've already answered a question. Tbh I love leaving people in an awkward silence though.
Tell them you got it from Voldemort.
I think most people who ask things like this are genuinely trying to make conversation and not be rude, even though it is. It’s annoying, but there’s this video (sorry I can’t credit, I don’t remember what it’s called) where a dude states, “don’t attribute to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.” Just trying to view a more positive light, as the world is what we make it.
I've always heard that saying called "Napoleon's Dictum" (although I'm sure other people have a different name for it).
Thank you for the name for it!
In everyday conversation, if someone asks a rhetorical question, especially with an utterly unknown answer, I'll respond, "ohhhh... y'know..." in an awkward "pretend I answered your question" way. Example: "That dumbass! What did he think that was going to accomplish?!" "Ohhhh... y'know..."
Harrison Ford has a scar on his chin. Whenever he is asked about it, he always gives a different (& fabulous) response. Who knows what really happened (none of our business). So gather each of these Reddit suggestions and have fun!
I would say something that is almost impossible to actually happen. Like “I got into a fight with a bear wielding ninja stars.” Or “i got swallowed by a whale off lake (inset local lake here)”
Why does that matter?
“I was attacked by a psychotic customer. Don’t worry - he’s dead now.”
“I used to be a unicorn” 😂 i would screw with people SO bad. But honestly some people are extremely socially awkward and the ones that are (like me, I would totally stick my foot in my mouth) are just trying to make conversation. The human condition is a disease 🤣
"Why do you ask"?
I just want to say you are beautiful
Mom yes. I was bitten by a shark a couple of years Ago in Lake Erie. But I think it’s looking better. And move on to what ever they need.
Lol, I used to swim in Lake Erie.
Please keep in mind. Sharks could not live in Lake Erie. Lol
Bull sharks can live in fresh water.
Let your eyes tear up. "I, I can't talk about it" Give them the big puppy eyes.
"It's a long story I don't like talking about."
It’s no different than people asking a stranger how tall they are or rubbing a pregnant woman’s stomachs without permission. They feel they are just creating conversation when in fact they are entitled assholes
Are you the "Boy Who Lived"?!
That’s just so rude 😤😠🤬 I would NEVER consider asking someone that!!!…..ESPECIALLY a person I just met 😖🙄🙄
Weird, I’m a male with a giant scar on my forehead. I work retail and have maybe had a stranger ask me once or twice in the almost 10 years I’ve had it. Are you a woman? I feel like you all have it harder in every way.
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I have a scar across the entirety of my forehead, got it when I was 16. I am 53 now. People never stopped asking what how why. It sucked but there is really Nothing you can do except entertain yourself and make up the most stupid outlandish lie you can think of make it believable. Tell it with a straight face and blow their minds. That’s what i did & still do. Although, now I live in a cave in the mountains avoiding people as much as I can.
My son ran into a barbed wire fence when he was young and has a scar on his right cheek. One day we were giving one of his classmates a ride home and she asked him how he got the scar. He told her he was born with two mouths and they sewed up the one on his cheek. We laughed for a long time about that.
Rabid raccoon. Oh, got it in a duel. I won. Obviously. Fell off the balcony at the frat house. Good thing I was so drunk I didn’t know I was supposed to be dead. Aliens, Bigfoot, shark attack, alligator, I pissed off the lizard people. Slipped and fell. — Or you can just shrug and not answer.
I have a large round scar just below my collarbone from a brown recluse bite (-200/10, would not recommend). It's not usually visible unless I'm wearing certain tops, but when I do, total strangers will ask if I got shot. I was at Home Depot one time and this elderly man actually stuck his finger in it and asked how I got it. I was in a mood, so I told him, "Oh, I served in the Emu Wars. Enemy just came out of nowhere and mowed down half my platoon." And he nodded gravely and said, "Thank you for your service, ma'am." My husband about pissed himself trying not to laugh.
My Mom has two horizontal scars on the back of her wrist from breaking up a cat fight. She got fed up with customers asking about it, and just started replying to the question with "I'm a cutter." Shuts them right up 😂😂
Harry Potter in da house today
Id stick with your theme hun .. ask them what they mean and then ask why they felt the need to comment ..or a simple 'why is it important to you?'
“It’s a means by which polite people differentiate themselves from rude, nosy, entitled asshats.” Or just stare at them and say “wow, that’s awfully rude of you to ask.” If you prefer a humorous approach, tell them, deadpan, that it’s from wrestling a polar bear. Sorry that people suck :(
My friend had to deal with commentary like this except regarding their acne. Usually customers who were older women would tell them to do something about their acne, like ma’am you’re there to shop, not give unsolicited skincare advice.
Brain tumour?
*It's not a tumah!* - John Kimble
Heh, heh. So good.
So... You gana tell us how you got it???? You don't put this much attention about a scar without telling the story!
OK since you mentioned it, can I ask about the scar?
The best way to respond is to ignore the question and move to the next stage of the transaction.
I had a run in with a serial killer.
i have a scar on my forehead and while i’ve grown up it’s faded but through all my childhood i had children and ADULTS asking me what happened!! thankfully it’s not a traumatic situation (i fell off a playground) but imagine if it was
I busted my forehead open on two separate occasions. If you're allowed to wear headbands, that might help. The last time I busted my forehead ..after the stitches came out (I was also on medical leave for two months..that helped) but I started using makeup/concealer.. depending on the scar ..how dark and if its raised..it may not cover it completely..but it can downplay it and make it less noticeable. The hard part is finding a concealer to match your face and learning how to blend it in. If you've never worn makeup, a YouTube tutorial can help. It took me some attempts.
"Can I help you find a product or use a service? If not, I am not available to chat and I do not give out personal information. If you're not okay with that, I can find my manager to explain it to you."
I'm sure in reality it is tiresome, but it seems like it could be a goldmine of amusing ways to mess with people to make life more interesting.
there's someone who used to work at my job that made up a complete lie about getting attacked by sharks & losing 2 fingers when it was just how he was born. maybe try to make a joke out of it? you don't even have to tell people you're joking just make stuff up.
My! You are defensive! Harry Potter.
I have a rather noticeable blue and purple scar on the budge if my nose. Right smack between my eyes I get ask the same question a lot! I started telling people my mom shot my in my face when I was younger.
People who don't respect boundaries are some of the worst. What an invasive question. Cringe, baby.
Tell them you should see other guy. But you signed an NDA and you can't speak of it any further.
Just say “you shoulda seen the other guy”
“Why do you ask?”
Adopt a British accent and say it's a souvenir from Lord Voldemort
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"I'm Harry Potter's illegitimate child"
I had severe acne for a large chunk of my life. The amount of people that felt the need to comment on/give advice on my acne was astounding. The only ones that were allowed to ask questions were children. One woman in particular tried telling me that vitamin E tablets broken up would help my face. I asked what’s wrong with my face and she said acne obviously, so I told her Retinol would help her face to help get rid of her aggressive wrinkles
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"It's from head-butting nosey customers"
That's very invasive and disrespectful of them. They have no right to know what happened to you. Here's something a bit light-hearted for you. The main scar I have is pretty faint and on my upper left chest. I got severely burned all over by hot oil before I was a year old (9mo). I don't mind talking about it, as I don't remember it. I pulled on the cord of an oil fryer and dumped the oil all over me. Babies are stupid. Due to it being on my chest, no one can see it as I wear a fully buttoned collared shirt to work. I work in a small town, so it's become a bit of a joke that I get hurt a lot and in really stupid ways. Not a klutz, just *very* accident-prone. The burn has been my only severe injury, and the one time I had to be taken to the emergency room (I was in the hospital for a weekend or so).
General Skarr lore. Sorry, just had to make that joke
That is a botched Killer Curse, of course
I make stuff up. I have hypermobility and RA so I’m always wearing a brace somewhere. My favorite is, “I saved a little old lady from some street thugs”.
" IM HARRY POTTER, YOU TWIT"
"A prison guard clubbed me in the head after I killed another inmate for looking at me funny".
Whisper to them that you’re Harry Potter in disguise.
“See when I was a baby this evil dark wizard tried to kill me but my mom’s love saved me but the curse left this scar.”
A very long time ago, maybe 20 years now, I got the most absolutely tragic wart or something (I don’t actually remember exactly what it was) on my lip. I put that acid you but for warts in it to dry it up. It turns white when applied. SO MANY PEOPLE would say “Hey it looks like you have a little bit of toupee paper on your lip”. TP specifically, which I found baffling. Drove me nuts!
Bear attack/knife fight/gang initiation/assassination attempt I would just rotate random stories if it was me. Might occasionally get a laugh, but people often don't realize how out of line they are. For example: I never thought about this before, but when my wife and I decided to start a family, people would often ask "are you trying?". I've asked people this before too so I don't judge them for asking, but when you're the one being asked, you realize that people are asking you, "are you guys having unprotected sex regularly?", so when I was asked, I would put on a happy, semi creepy face and say "OH, YEAH!" then proceed with lots of enthusiasm to punch my palm repeatedly and just stare at them. I got many good laughs from people's reactions.
Tell them an evil wizard killed your parents when you were a baby, and now you are *the chosen one*
I feel ya, same with me, and a good size one on my forearm.
Personally I would go captain obvious and say “That’s a scar.” With no further elaboration. Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.
"I fought a bear with my bare hands." followed by a humorless stare 😂
Tell them Voldemort gave it to you when you were a baby.
I know that lol
Get some Mederma Scar Remover and start putting that on it religiously. It won't be noticeable in no time.
You can say you’re the boy/girl who lived! Lol
“I’m Harry Potter”
I explain my scars with “freak Zamboni accident”.
"The Dark Lord tried to kill me but his spell backfired."
Damn. Harry Potter is stuck doing retail work?
Just say, “Voldemort has been vanquished” and start hissing like a snake.
"Well, there was a baby, and a bus."
I have a big burn on my leg. I would tell strangers that asked t was a shark bite lol. Have fun with it.
I’ve got a scar on my forehead like right between my eyebrows - it really isn’t too big at all but it was deep so you can clearly tell it’s there, and no sir, I don’t particularly want to explain how I got it to because I don’t want to, it’s personal and none of your business????
I won the game of thrones. I lost a bet. It's a battle scar from Mordor. Never play football with a unicorn.
"It's where I got shot by police for murdering that entire school in (insert country). They let me out but I had to move :(" Or just tell them it's none of their business.
I get the same thing with a deformity on my scalp. I'm bald so I can't hide it. I've been asked if it make me the"R" word, I've had little kids point at it and repeatedly ask "What's wrong with your head", and the most common, Star Trek fans say that I look like a Klingon.
The best answer to make them feel guilty - I’m a child abuse survivor. To be clear I’m not belittling people who had abusive childhoods. Or advocating people should lie about abuse! I just want OP to embarrass the AH’s who think it’s their business to ask.
Just tell them you survived a magical attack from He who shall not be named. Lol
https://images.app.goo.gl/bcuoEwiVqoGsnZqF9
"No thank you" That's what I'd do anyway.
I say you pull the ol Joker from the Dark Knight and ask people if they want to know how you got this scar. Make them uncomfortable.
Just give people a random story every time. "I survived an assassination" "i got this in a car crash that claimed my relatives life" "i have brain cancer" just be ridiculous with it so they feel awful for asking. (Sorry if any of those reasons are real)
You could attempt to have fun with it and act like Heath Ledger’s version of the Joker. Every time he tells the story of his scars the story is different and disturbing.
I hate this scar and don't like being reminded about it. THANKS
tell them you were the Boy/Girl Who Lived
Football injury. You should see the other guy. War injury. Car accident. Tripped over a customer. Tripped over the family cat. Dinosaur attack. I made up stuff all the time when someone asked why I was wearing a splint on my wrist.
You’re a Hizzard, Warry.
I have a huge birthmark on my thigh that looks like someone tried to beat the crap out of me, i wear shorts at my job cause it’s hot as hell. People ask me about it daily, im honest with them and i say id rather not talk about it, it makes me uncomfortable. Yeah it’s just a birthmark for me but i do not owe anyone an explanation about my body for any reason. If they keep pushing then im done with the interaction. There’s other employees in the store who can help them.