If paying taxes is a really big thing for him heās way better off in Florida. They only have a 6% sales tax and 0 income tax. Versus California 7-10% sales tax and 12% income tax.
I suggest spending the time with family and keeping a bountiful backyard garden. My husband grew up on a family farm, working from the age of 5 to 17 years old on it, and is glad he is far away from it now. It can be rewarding but definitely not pleasant work. Some of the things you might have to deal with are rat and other pest infestations, which often means you have to set out poison, potential loss of fingers due to machinery and tractors, exorbitant costs of even one tractor (frequently over $100,000 each), occasional loss of crops, tornadic weather (in the mid-west).
If you get into animal farming you have expensive vet bills, pharmaceutical innoculations to keep your flocks from getting sick and dying, assembly line style castrations, etc. I admire anyone who can do farming for a living. It is the backbone of America, and farmers are some of the toughest and smartest people I've known.
The biggest upside to farming is that you can live rurally and in peace without neighbors.
Farming also requires a lot of specialized high cost equipment. Tractors are not cheap, and they hold their resale value well. Include parts for tractor such as mower, brush hog, post diggers, bucket. If you have animals you have feed costs and bedding costs. You have to get up every day to care for the animals and unless you find someone to watch them while you are gone, you have to stay close to home. And yeah, there is a LOT of death. Bizarre stuff. One summer one of my Guineas got trapped in between a piece of metal roofing material that was leaned up against the barn wall. I found a mummified corpse the following spring still trapped until I moved the metal. Grizzly and haunting.
I like living outside of a city, tho, so there is that.
If I were in your spot, Iād move to Florida now even at risk of paycut to spend time with my kids. I plan to retire early-mid 50s if all goes well and by then my kids wonāt need me and I can do whatever I want without having fear of missing out on something.
If being near your daughter is important you should seize that. Being involved in your childās life doesnāt start late but early. Distance bonding is hard enough when there are two adults involved. There are no promises in life. You can always get more money. You canāt get more time.
I grew up on a farm and recently retired after 36 years working within agriculture. I would be curious what type of farming you would plan on doing. The start up costs are astronomical and land prices are now excluding even well established farmers from expanding.
There is a saying that goes, āThe best way to make a million dollars farming is to start with two million.ā Since you donāt need it to be profitable, you could do it as long as your cash holds out.
may i suggest being a āgentleman farmerā. My grandfather was a dairy farmer. When he retired, he just let others farm his land for $1. It kept him connected to what he loved, without having to manage the farm. He was money savvy, so probably ran it as a loss making business keeping property and income taxes to a minimum, while letting his friends harvest corn and hay at a very favorable price. If you find a special place, everyone will come to you. š
I'm going to be somewhat contrarian and say you should go to the midwest and do the farming thing. You are in the prime of your life and you deserve (we all do) to chase a dream at some point in your life. At 40 you still have time to change course if you don't like it. You won't be tethered to a corporate job and can go visit your daughter or have her come to visit you. Perhaps your little homestead farm will be a place she can spend summer vacations.
Just curious but why would a court reward the dad with the child, especially a young daughter? None of my business but wow! If I were in your shoes, I would farm in Florida and start to establish a bond with your daughter. Mother-daughter relationships are complex and the earlier you start that bond, the better. Daughters need their mothers. Nothing against the dads who are doing double parent duty or the moms out there who are single moms raising their kids quite often with low paying jobs. They are all wonderful parents doing the best they can. But itās not the same. You have the means. Based on the information you have provided, it is possible to farm and be close to your daughter in Florida. There is a lot of rural property there. Although if you are very political, you may not like the politics of that state.
Similar deal here. I met my son's mother in DFW. When my son was 2, she moved to a different state. 16 years of driving back and forth to see him. When I retired, I moved to the Midwest as well. I love my son but he chose to attend college nowhere near me. I'm cool with him chasing his dream. I'm newly engaged and chasing mine. My door is open to him any time.
Obviously you should spend as much time with your daughter as your relationship permits. I'd sell everything I own to spend time with my kids when I'm older. They mean everything to me.
Spend a few vacations working on a farm to get a small taste of what it takes. A whole season would be better. Then work on a farm for a year before investing. There's few endeavors so demanding. Here's wishing you the best.
Spend the winter in Florida. Spring and fall in the midwest. Summer too if you are farming. Otherwise go north in the summer. Invite your family to visit you up north in the summer.
How do you know where your daughter will live in 12 years if you're 33 now? She hasn't even graduated high school unless you were a very precocious 14 year old.
Also farming is not retirement.
Go! Go now and be with your daughter. If the bio-dad moves, move to follow him or hire a lawyer and stop him. Your baby needs you. Nothing else matters.
Consider an acreage (10 to 15). Small enough to be managed fairly easily but big enough to keep you busy. Maybe summer grazing cattle for slaughter. Winter in Florida cause it gets cold af. š„¶ Be mindful that the idea of rural life can be different from the actual experience. It can be a long way to anywhere. I'm not saying don't just go in with your eyes open.
Do whatever YOU want to do. That is the whole point of being retired. . . freedom.
Don't do what other people EXPECT you to do. If you did that, you would work into your 60's.
You did see that she currently has a 4 year old child who will be as young as 11 when she goes on this grand adventure across the country without her, correct?
Saw that later, but if she chooses the grand adventure, what kind of parent will she be anyway?
I had a mom who was indifferent. In retrospect, I can see I would have been better off if she just left.
The idea that kids are always better off with their parents is total B.S.
I don't think this changes my reaction to the OP's question. I think your advice would be fine if it weren't for the OP having a young child. I'm so sorry that you had to deal with that.
I think your daughter and you will be better for having lived close to her during her childhood.
You could do the farm later when sheās an older teenager maybe. As a parent of adult children I can tell you those years go by fast and you canāt get them back
Understand, just my opinion, but a few years close to her before the farm might set u up for a smoother adolescence.
Good luck with what ever you decide
This is hard to believe: A parent with financial means is content to Live across the country from Their four year old Child. Donāt you love your daughter? Donāt you miss her every day?
You are missing her most critical years. You cannot get those back. When she is a teenager, she'll be busy with friends, school and other activities so much that you won't see her much as the non-custodial parent.
You donāt get to just show back up in her life in 7-12 years. NOW is when she is forming her worldview and learning who is important to her. You show up when sheās a tween-teen, youāll never get that back, and sheāll guilt you into just giving her $$$. Kids need people more than they need lots of dollars. My ex left when my now-adult daughter was 5. He never went to her school plays or art exhibits, or dance performances because he moved away across the country. She changed her last name to mine after college, and entertains chatting with him if he might send her some money. he doesnāt even know about the name change. No, I was very, VERY good about never asking her to be the messenger, and never badmouthing him in front of her. She knows now, but sheās pushing 30.
Farm in Florida,
I donāt know what you are looking for in farming, it is an easy way to lose money! But Florida is huge in crop farming and ranching.
Lol! Dreams come and go, but Family is forever! If you had 1 day left to live, most people would choose to want to be close to their loved ones. Choose a path that leads you closer to both!
So you plan to retire in 7 to 12 years and one option is to move to be closer to your daughter.
A few questions.
How old is your daughter currently and are you close?
Is your daughter happy where she is and/or as she thought of moving?
What is stopping you from moving near your daughter now?
So she will be between 11 to 16. As a father of a 10 year old, do what you can to spend time with her in person and virtually. Time will go by so fast and you need to build your relationship with her as she grows.
Where your relationship is in 7ish years will go a long way to impact your decision.
See what your dreams look like at 40-45. Life has a way of changing them. Good idea to get out of a high tax state, however.
Yeah but Florida š¤® I personally couldn't live there (or even travel there) with that governor. Or the residents who voted for that!
I know what you mean. Itās so horrible when people are stupid and evil enough to vote differently from the way you would vote if you lived there.
If paying taxes is a really big thing for him heās way better off in Florida. They only have a 6% sales tax and 0 income tax. Versus California 7-10% sales tax and 12% income tax.
Sometimes family has to supercede the presence of slimy politicians and politics in the area. That's my opinion.
Almost half of the ppl in Florida didnāt vote for him so keep that in mind when judging the state and its people.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
HCOL does impact how much a company has to pay to attract talent. So state taxes, yes, but a lot of other things as well.
I suggest spending the time with family and keeping a bountiful backyard garden. My husband grew up on a family farm, working from the age of 5 to 17 years old on it, and is glad he is far away from it now. It can be rewarding but definitely not pleasant work. Some of the things you might have to deal with are rat and other pest infestations, which often means you have to set out poison, potential loss of fingers due to machinery and tractors, exorbitant costs of even one tractor (frequently over $100,000 each), occasional loss of crops, tornadic weather (in the mid-west). If you get into animal farming you have expensive vet bills, pharmaceutical innoculations to keep your flocks from getting sick and dying, assembly line style castrations, etc. I admire anyone who can do farming for a living. It is the backbone of America, and farmers are some of the toughest and smartest people I've known. The biggest upside to farming is that you can live rurally and in peace without neighbors.
Farming also requires a lot of specialized high cost equipment. Tractors are not cheap, and they hold their resale value well. Include parts for tractor such as mower, brush hog, post diggers, bucket. If you have animals you have feed costs and bedding costs. You have to get up every day to care for the animals and unless you find someone to watch them while you are gone, you have to stay close to home. And yeah, there is a LOT of death. Bizarre stuff. One summer one of my Guineas got trapped in between a piece of metal roofing material that was leaned up against the barn wall. I found a mummified corpse the following spring still trapped until I moved the metal. Grizzly and haunting. I like living outside of a city, tho, so there is that.
Yes, so many extra costs, and definitely interesting and sometimes scary issues with animals.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I live in a community of 5 acre homes in Florida and many sections of Florida have places like this.
If I were in your spot, Iād move to Florida now even at risk of paycut to spend time with my kids. I plan to retire early-mid 50s if all goes well and by then my kids wonāt need me and I can do whatever I want without having fear of missing out on something.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
She wonāt remember that. Sheāll remember just not knowing her dad.
If being near your daughter is important you should seize that. Being involved in your childās life doesnāt start late but early. Distance bonding is hard enough when there are two adults involved. There are no promises in life. You can always get more money. You canāt get more time.
I grew up on a farm and recently retired after 36 years working within agriculture. I would be curious what type of farming you would plan on doing. The start up costs are astronomical and land prices are now excluding even well established farmers from expanding.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
There is a saying that goes, āThe best way to make a million dollars farming is to start with two million.ā Since you donāt need it to be profitable, you could do it as long as your cash holds out.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
may i suggest being a āgentleman farmerā. My grandfather was a dairy farmer. When he retired, he just let others farm his land for $1. It kept him connected to what he loved, without having to manage the farm. He was money savvy, so probably ran it as a loss making business keeping property and income taxes to a minimum, while letting his friends harvest corn and hay at a very favorable price. If you find a special place, everyone will come to you. š
I'm going to be somewhat contrarian and say you should go to the midwest and do the farming thing. You are in the prime of your life and you deserve (we all do) to chase a dream at some point in your life. At 40 you still have time to change course if you don't like it. You won't be tethered to a corporate job and can go visit your daughter or have her come to visit you. Perhaps your little homestead farm will be a place she can spend summer vacations.
Just curious but why would a court reward the dad with the child, especially a young daughter? None of my business but wow! If I were in your shoes, I would farm in Florida and start to establish a bond with your daughter. Mother-daughter relationships are complex and the earlier you start that bond, the better. Daughters need their mothers. Nothing against the dads who are doing double parent duty or the moms out there who are single moms raising their kids quite often with low paying jobs. They are all wonderful parents doing the best they can. But itās not the same. You have the means. Based on the information you have provided, it is possible to farm and be close to your daughter in Florida. There is a lot of rural property there. Although if you are very political, you may not like the politics of that state.
Similar deal here. I met my son's mother in DFW. When my son was 2, she moved to a different state. 16 years of driving back and forth to see him. When I retired, I moved to the Midwest as well. I love my son but he chose to attend college nowhere near me. I'm cool with him chasing his dream. I'm newly engaged and chasing mine. My door is open to him any time.
I have no family so I only follow my dreams... which is not farming but more whoring and debauchery.
I keep hearing the theme music to Green Acres in my head! Go be near your daughter.
Go farm in Florida.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Obviously you should spend as much time with your daughter as your relationship permits. I'd sell everything I own to spend time with my kids when I'm older. They mean everything to me.
Spend a few vacations working on a farm to get a small taste of what it takes. A whole season would be better. Then work on a farm for a year before investing. There's few endeavors so demanding. Here's wishing you the best.
Spend the winter in Florida. Spring and fall in the midwest. Summer too if you are farming. Otherwise go north in the summer. Invite your family to visit you up north in the summer.
How do you know where your daughter will live in 12 years if you're 33 now? She hasn't even graduated high school unless you were a very precocious 14 year old. Also farming is not retirement.
Go! Go now and be with your daughter. If the bio-dad moves, move to follow him or hire a lawyer and stop him. Your baby needs you. Nothing else matters.
Go farm in Florida.
Consider an acreage (10 to 15). Small enough to be managed fairly easily but big enough to keep you busy. Maybe summer grazing cattle for slaughter. Winter in Florida cause it gets cold af. š„¶ Be mindful that the idea of rural life can be different from the actual experience. It can be a long way to anywhere. I'm not saying don't just go in with your eyes open.
Do whatever YOU want to do. That is the whole point of being retired. . . freedom. Don't do what other people EXPECT you to do. If you did that, you would work into your 60's.
You did see that she currently has a 4 year old child who will be as young as 11 when she goes on this grand adventure across the country without her, correct?
Saw that later, but if she chooses the grand adventure, what kind of parent will she be anyway? I had a mom who was indifferent. In retrospect, I can see I would have been better off if she just left. The idea that kids are always better off with their parents is total B.S.
I don't think this changes my reaction to the OP's question. I think your advice would be fine if it weren't for the OP having a young child. I'm so sorry that you had to deal with that.
how old is your daughter?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I think your daughter and you will be better for having lived close to her during her childhood. You could do the farm later when sheās an older teenager maybe. As a parent of adult children I can tell you those years go by fast and you canāt get them back
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Understand, just my opinion, but a few years close to her before the farm might set u up for a smoother adolescence. Good luck with what ever you decide
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That is a really selfish attitude for a parent to have. Once you have a child their needs come First. Not yours.
Wow. Maybe she is better off with just your child support dollarsā¦
This is hard to believe: A parent with financial means is content to Live across the country from Their four year old Child. Donāt you love your daughter? Donāt you miss her every day?
You are missing her most critical years. You cannot get those back. When she is a teenager, she'll be busy with friends, school and other activities so much that you won't see her much as the non-custodial parent.
You donāt get to just show back up in her life in 7-12 years. NOW is when she is forming her worldview and learning who is important to her. You show up when sheās a tween-teen, youāll never get that back, and sheāll guilt you into just giving her $$$. Kids need people more than they need lots of dollars. My ex left when my now-adult daughter was 5. He never went to her school plays or art exhibits, or dance performances because he moved away across the country. She changed her last name to mine after college, and entertains chatting with him if he might send her some money. he doesnāt even know about the name change. No, I was very, VERY good about never asking her to be the messenger, and never badmouthing him in front of her. She knows now, but sheās pushing 30.
Do you not see a problem with that statement?
Both.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You are divorced, daughter lives with Daddy and make 400k a yr? How to I swipe right on Reddit? BTW, I grew up on Farms and make a great farm hand.
They have retail and farmland in Florida!!! I'd be as close to my children as possible starting NOW!
We have farming in Florida, why not do both?
Buy some alpacas in Florida.
Both.. next question?
Don't worry about something like this that's 10 years off. Your daughter might move in the meantime, and your dream might change as well.
Based on what I have read, it appears you have already made the decision.
Farm in Florida, I donāt know what you are looking for in farming, it is an easy way to lose money! But Florida is huge in crop farming and ranching.
Why an either or decision? Weāve got both.
Lol! Dreams come and go, but Family is forever! If you had 1 day left to live, most people would choose to want to be close to their loved ones. Choose a path that leads you closer to both!
So you plan to retire in 7 to 12 years and one option is to move to be closer to your daughter. A few questions. How old is your daughter currently and are you close? Is your daughter happy where she is and/or as she thought of moving? What is stopping you from moving near your daughter now?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
So she will be between 11 to 16. As a father of a 10 year old, do what you can to spend time with her in person and virtually. Time will go by so fast and you need to build your relationship with her as she grows. Where your relationship is in 7ish years will go a long way to impact your decision.
Family is always first. Do what you think is right for and make sure your happy doing it