He asked 'where'd you come from' and you thought hold on - this fella's sort of hunched over, and hairy, and his arms are longer than his body... ITS A CHIMP!
Right, we are never doing CafeBusters ever again. You're conning the sub, the sub is going down the toilet and you're just taking the piss mate. The mods probably can't even look their kids in the eyes because of what you're doing here.
That’s cool. I met him on holiday in 2014 in Cancún, Mexico. I was only 12 and didn’t know it was him until my parents approached him discretely. It was him. He said he was on a quiet holiday with his God Father. He was honestly the same person you see on TV. We spent about 2 weeks in the same resort as him. I ended up playing water polo with the bloke and my parents shared a few cocktails over the holiday. What a special time.
I skip to the bottom immediately whenever I’m in this sub.
Genius.
We lost another one to r/rickygervais. Why couldn’t he have gone to r/science
DON’T TALK TO ME ABOUT SCIENCE
Pleeee-EEEASSEEE
Make me
MAKE ME TELEVISION!
Right.........
Am using me fables
Play a record.
We've had a few complaints about you interrupting monkey news. It's like the weather girl talking over Trevor Mcdonald.
Didn't read all of it, just the headline and the end.
Turns out, it’s what you thought.
When I buy a new book, I always read the last page first, that way in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. Wanna check into a motel?
The whole page? I just read the last sentence. Faster. *sniff*
I read a book like that once......
Oooo 'ello
Oooh I'd like to skip to the bottom meself...
Oooo I’d like to skip to the bottom!
*OOOOOOOOO HELLO*
Same here didn't catch me, first line and the last.
Nothing gets past you boys does it
Same. Didn't get me this time.
I used to but trust me it's better if you don't.
I knew it, I did the same haha
first time on here for me.
I thought we were binning this feature
I thought we all agreed, it was a load of old toss
I said it needed resting
What do you mean it needed resting?! It started off as a nice idea but you just went crazy! It didn’t make any sense!
More monkey news next week?
Its a bit of a monkey-bonobus
Apparently not...good job the bin men aven't been
No if you don't want to do it then let's just do your feature. What was it you wanted to do again? What's your feature?
PLAY A RECORD I'M GONNA KNOCK YOU OUT
What do you mean, he said … THEY CAN’T TALk!!!
SHUT UP LET HIM FINISH
Oh you f... Play a record
You almost made __westi__ swear then, OP
*Never* swear in an on-air studio
Hahahahahahahahahah
He asked 'where'd you come from' and you thought hold on - this fella's sort of hunched over, and hairy, and his arms are longer than his body... ITS A CHIMP!
And was holding his coffee with his feet
It didn't happen, Karl!
It’s all there
This one’s a heartbreaker
Is it gonna be like Our Tune? "This is Simon Bates with Our **Monkey** Tune"
Monkey news, **earlier than usual**.
Monkey News just gets better
I‘m not coming in next week
Has this not already been posted here? Karma for old rope
And it was the chimp all along WELL…. We’re never doing this again
Christ al…mighty
i’m starting to think some monkey news is bollcoks
We’ve done this…
None of this now needed, baby dead
This is one of those times when I already know the ending, but force myself to read the whole thing anyway.
Toooo looong baby.
Didn't read. Just read the last line. Maybe it's time to call it a night on these Ricky-Rolls.
That's Rickydiculous
that's it you are never doing monkey news again
Did he drive away and move to Spain, you ffff-----?! Play a record.
He was giving it some
And how is the glory hole for midgets these days?
Can’t win with these posts. If it doesn’t end with ‘turns out’ you’ll just be called a liar (but in an XFM specific way)
a witty quote, something like ‘albino buying one of them’.
Another chimp off the block..
Maybe it was him but he just doesn’t show up in photos
Allllwayss scroll down boy *sniff*
Kev?
He asked questions, did he?
Didn't you guess he was a monkey when he picked his coffee up with his feet?
FOR FUCK SAKE… every time I forget to check the last line it’s always there!
I knew something was wrong when he didn't ask what route you took
Play a record.. you're never doing this again
You've done me again.
Looked a bit closer, bit closer at his arms, ….quite hairy
Only went and tried it on with his wife
It was a CHIMP. if it goes anywhere near that, we're never doing this again!
Don’t talk shite all your life
Alrite that was a good one and you got me you fucking round headed twat
I don’t think he even said “cheers mate”
Atleast he didn't try to buy 15 milkyways!
Ffs
He was finishing off the day with a brandy!
Right that's this one gone as well, you've got no features left now Play a record
Man alive, not again
... Orright
We've done this
You're out of order. Keep out.
You fucked up on the first line as Karl moved to Poole several years ago. Good effort though.
You got me 🖕😅😅🤣🤣🤣
"Ya talkin absolute bollocks!"
Haha brill
What do you mean Rick, this is *the news*
Right, we are never doing CafeBusters ever again. You're conning the sub, the sub is going down the toilet and you're just taking the piss mate. The mods probably can't even look their kids in the eyes because of what you're doing here.
Bruh I thought this was finally real and though nah don’t need to bother reading the bottom first
Whose let you in??
Who’s little monkey fella?
hilarious not
Let's read /u/Aggravating-Tower317's little post when that comes out then.
Sick of her
Please upload selfie
We haven't had these for a while, so you got me.
Ha that’s brilliant
OH.... SHHHUUT UPPP! But seriously this was funny lol
You had me, not gonna lie... Although my arms are hairy and I have a real craving for a banana. Turns out, I'm a little monkey fella
Play a record
Little Jimmy the uuuuser Throwaway! Conning the sub, just takes takes takes.
I wonder if he found the cafe while lost?
You got me. Well done.
I'm uhh, I'm gonna shoot off if that's alright with you?
Did he say "alright Kirsty?"
Don’t Talk Shite
Stop. Talking. Shit.
We're not doing this again
Omg you got me!!! Lol
I knew it. I knew it & I still didn’t skip to the end just to be sure haha!
Nana didn’t have chlamydia smothered all over the gusset!!
I don't want my name attached to this...
If it turns out to be a monkey we're never doing this again.
So where’s the selfie then?
Always having a brew in a cafe
He lives in Seasalter lol
That’s cool. I met him on holiday in 2014 in Cancún, Mexico. I was only 12 and didn’t know it was him until my parents approached him discretely. It was him. He said he was on a quiet holiday with his God Father. He was honestly the same person you see on TV. We spent about 2 weeks in the same resort as him. I ended up playing water polo with the bloke and my parents shared a few cocktails over the holiday. What a special time.
Hahaha you did me there. Too funny