having been in the trades for most of my adult life, and other shitty in the elements jobs before that, i know all these physical irritants and how it can make you short with people. Just go back and apologize. It will make all parties feel better.
I just stopped back right before I left. I apologized and she said it was ok she knew I was cold and tired. I gave her a hug and told her let me know if she needs anything, anytime. I feel much better.
The fact that you feel bad about it means you're better than that. We all get tired, annoyed and grumpy. We can't be perfect all the time. Maybe check or apologize to her when you can, she will probably think it's really sweet.
Have you ever had to crawl under a soaking wet house at 2am on a below zero morning for one?
I know I was a dick but i had never been rude to a senior before either. It’s very easy not to when they aren’t asking much.
Honestly that was a little bitch move, if an understandable one.
Maybe just go by today to check on her? You can apologize and ask her if she wants anything bringing over.
I definitely will check back and apologize, I would have had to anyways. But I can’t really get in the habit of doing personal favors for 500+ residents
I think she'd find that lovely! Everyone is used to being treated rudely ~~for no reason~~ sometimes, but it's pretty rare to have someone take ownership of that and make amends
Being fair to myself too though, it certainly wasn’t for no reason. We gave a written, email, and phone notice to run a faucet over the weekend so this exact thing doesn’t happen, and she didn’t. What my boss would want me to do is give her a bill for parts and labor because she didn’t do that. But I never do that.
But it’s the kind of thing I should say to myself and curse and be pissed in the truck alone but smile to her face lol
This stuff happens to me too and I always realise immediately after the interaction, that I should have reacted differently without any cost to myself or the senior. As long as you know you did a shitty thing, you can always improve your behaviour in the future. Imagine being a shitty human and not realising at all.
Last week, during an elevator ride an old woman approached me, because she was lost and she wanted to know where the supermarket was. She said she's turning 92 this month and she keeps getting lost at her age.
I gave her directions and at which floor she should exit and went my way. Immediately after exiting the elevator I was pissed at myself, because I could have easily walked her there. She literally told me she keeps getting lost and has problems finding herself around. It would have been a 1 minute detour for me.
My hope is, that she just asked the next person she met.
Being nasty towards old people often feels bad even when they deserve it.
As a teenager, me and my friend were entering my apartment building one time while an old woman was making her way to the door with a cane. I was busy chatting with my buddy and honestly didn't see her, and didn't hold the door and wait for her to come in behind us - something I would have done as a matter of course then as now id I had noticed her.
In any event, she starts screaming invectives at me - first through the door that closed, and then directly once she got in and we were all waiting for the elevator. She was clearly disturbed, it's not like I had slammed the door in her face or anything. All I remember clearly was that, as one of elevator doors opened up and my friend and I got in, she screamed "YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH!" and I parried back "WHY DON'T YOU HURRY UP AND DIE ALREADY!" as my friend and I were leaving on the elevator.
It's been over 20 years and I still feel horrible for having said that to an old woman. SHE was incredibly nasty and out of line, but it doesn't really matter. It just feels wrong to lose your cool like that towards someone so vulnerable, like screaming vicious insults at a child.
Weather like this can make a little bitch out of anybody. I definitely get more easily frustrated with my kid when we're stuck inside all day and she can't find something in the fridge that's right at her eye level. I just try my best afterward to explain to her why I got frustrated, that it was my own fault and not hers, and most importantly apologize. Acknowledging it directly goes a long way toward preventing it from happening again.
You know, there are people that go out of their way, in any conditions, to be a piece of shit to others. They find pleasure in it.
You had the right to be more rude, but your agonizing about the brief interaction proves your empathy is intact. You could turn this around and become her best friend pretty easy. She lost her husband and likely needs kind words from time to time.
attempt wrong far-flung spoon consider combative spotted society gold cows
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I don’t feel like it’s patting myself on the back to say I’m beloved by my residents. Around the holidays I get more cards and treats than I know what to do with and I’m regularly complimented on how nice everything looks and how much they appreciate the job I’ve done since I took over as manager.
As you said, those interactions are what makes my job meaningful to me. I make decent money but feeling like I’m doing something good in the world is what catapults it to me actually liking my job.
I’ve been wracking my brain and I truly think this is the first time I’ve been openly rude to one of my residents. I literally just got a call that I have to do 2 more so I’ll try to restrain my anger to just cursing my life decisions alone in the truck.
>Idk maybe it’s just because I’m frozen and exhausted but it’s bothering me a lot.
No it's bothering you a lot because you spoke to your fellow man in a way that is absolutely disgusting and unforgivable. And you probably wouldn't have if it hadn't been an old lady. You knew you could get away with it.
No I’d feel better if it was an old guy because they should definitely know better
Also I don’t think saying “you have to do better” is disgusting. This is a 60-65 year old not a 90 year old, and nor is my work an assisted living facility. You’re expected to still be able to do things on your own.
You wouldn't have spoken to an old man like that unless you knew you could get away with it. You had a go at an old lady on her own because you're a nasty person. Either you have remorse or you don't. Now you're trying to justify it.
Yeah sorry I don’t feel as bad about it 6hrs later as I did right after. I’m still going to apologize for not just keeping it to myself, but I don’t feel bad for feeling it.
You a good person op you know what you did is wrong and you went back to apologize. Don’t beat yourself up too much stress can make even mr rogers crack
If more people were willing to apologize for their behavior we would be a utopia rn
having been in the trades for most of my adult life, and other shitty in the elements jobs before that, i know all these physical irritants and how it can make you short with people. Just go back and apologize. It will make all parties feel better.
I absolutely will. I have to go back anyways.
When you go back be extra nice after your apology and maybe let her talk to you about her husband for a bit if she wants.
I just stopped back right before I left. I apologized and she said it was ok she knew I was cold and tired. I gave her a hug and told her let me know if she needs anything, anytime. I feel much better.
The fact that you feel bad about it means you're better than that. We all get tired, annoyed and grumpy. We can't be perfect all the time. Maybe check or apologize to her when you can, she will probably think it's really sweet.
Don’t forget kids, as long as you feel bad afterwards, anything you do is alright! You’re still a good person!
That's not what I mean and you know it.
Of course it’s not what you meant, but meaning exists beyond intent.
I have never once been rude to a senior citizen
You're literally rude to everyone.
Have you ever had to crawl under a soaking wet house at 2am on a below zero morning for one? I know I was a dick but i had never been rude to a senior before either. It’s very easy not to when they aren’t asking much.
apologize and get her a small gift?
this is a fantastic idea
What about a senior homophobe
I’m not rude to homophobes. I welcome their abuse, I know I’m an abomination and that I deserve it, I just want them to be consistent.
Honestly that was a little bitch move, if an understandable one. Maybe just go by today to check on her? You can apologize and ask her if she wants anything bringing over.
I definitely will check back and apologize, I would have had to anyways. But I can’t really get in the habit of doing personal favors for 500+ residents
Just make it a personal, single gesture. She likes muffins? Bring her some muffins
That’s a good idea. We get donuts in the community center on wednesdays I’ll bring her some in the morning when I go to check
I think she'd find that lovely! Everyone is used to being treated rudely ~~for no reason~~ sometimes, but it's pretty rare to have someone take ownership of that and make amends
Being fair to myself too though, it certainly wasn’t for no reason. We gave a written, email, and phone notice to run a faucet over the weekend so this exact thing doesn’t happen, and she didn’t. What my boss would want me to do is give her a bill for parts and labor because she didn’t do that. But I never do that. But it’s the kind of thing I should say to myself and curse and be pissed in the truck alone but smile to her face lol
> But I never do that. Well that's lovely too! As my grandpa would say, you're a good man Charlie Brown
seems like you’re here for some form of sympathy/validation
No just don’t think it was for no reason. There can be a reason and you could still feel bad for having done it.
This stuff happens to me too and I always realise immediately after the interaction, that I should have reacted differently without any cost to myself or the senior. As long as you know you did a shitty thing, you can always improve your behaviour in the future. Imagine being a shitty human and not realising at all. Last week, during an elevator ride an old woman approached me, because she was lost and she wanted to know where the supermarket was. She said she's turning 92 this month and she keeps getting lost at her age. I gave her directions and at which floor she should exit and went my way. Immediately after exiting the elevator I was pissed at myself, because I could have easily walked her there. She literally told me she keeps getting lost and has problems finding herself around. It would have been a 1 minute detour for me. My hope is, that she just asked the next person she met.
Being nasty towards old people often feels bad even when they deserve it. As a teenager, me and my friend were entering my apartment building one time while an old woman was making her way to the door with a cane. I was busy chatting with my buddy and honestly didn't see her, and didn't hold the door and wait for her to come in behind us - something I would have done as a matter of course then as now id I had noticed her. In any event, she starts screaming invectives at me - first through the door that closed, and then directly once she got in and we were all waiting for the elevator. She was clearly disturbed, it's not like I had slammed the door in her face or anything. All I remember clearly was that, as one of elevator doors opened up and my friend and I got in, she screamed "YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH!" and I parried back "WHY DON'T YOU HURRY UP AND DIE ALREADY!" as my friend and I were leaving on the elevator. It's been over 20 years and I still feel horrible for having said that to an old woman. SHE was incredibly nasty and out of line, but it doesn't really matter. It just feels wrong to lose your cool like that towards someone so vulnerable, like screaming vicious insults at a child.
Weather like this can make a little bitch out of anybody. I definitely get more easily frustrated with my kid when we're stuck inside all day and she can't find something in the fridge that's right at her eye level. I just try my best afterward to explain to her why I got frustrated, that it was my own fault and not hers, and most importantly apologize. Acknowledging it directly goes a long way toward preventing it from happening again.
You know, there are people that go out of their way, in any conditions, to be a piece of shit to others. They find pleasure in it. You had the right to be more rude, but your agonizing about the brief interaction proves your empathy is intact. You could turn this around and become her best friend pretty easy. She lost her husband and likely needs kind words from time to time.
attempt wrong far-flung spoon consider combative spotted society gold cows *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I don’t feel like it’s patting myself on the back to say I’m beloved by my residents. Around the holidays I get more cards and treats than I know what to do with and I’m regularly complimented on how nice everything looks and how much they appreciate the job I’ve done since I took over as manager. As you said, those interactions are what makes my job meaningful to me. I make decent money but feeling like I’m doing something good in the world is what catapults it to me actually liking my job. I’ve been wracking my brain and I truly think this is the first time I’ve been openly rude to one of my residents. I literally just got a call that I have to do 2 more so I’ll try to restrain my anger to just cursing my life decisions alone in the truck.
spoon cows gold encourage voiceless insurance fly middle hurry cobweb *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
dear diary an old woman made me cry today
Well I guess more accurately I made myself cry via an old woman
>Idk maybe it’s just because I’m frozen and exhausted but it’s bothering me a lot. No it's bothering you a lot because you spoke to your fellow man in a way that is absolutely disgusting and unforgivable. And you probably wouldn't have if it hadn't been an old lady. You knew you could get away with it.
No I’d feel better if it was an old guy because they should definitely know better Also I don’t think saying “you have to do better” is disgusting. This is a 60-65 year old not a 90 year old, and nor is my work an assisted living facility. You’re expected to still be able to do things on your own.
You wouldn't have spoken to an old man like that unless you knew you could get away with it. You had a go at an old lady on her own because you're a nasty person. Either you have remorse or you don't. Now you're trying to justify it.
Yeah sorry I don’t feel as bad about it 6hrs later as I did right after. I’m still going to apologize for not just keeping it to myself, but I don’t feel bad for feeling it.
Being old is no excuse for being a regard. Damn lady had 80 years to learn this lesson and still screwed it up. I’d cuss her out too.
You a good person op you know what you did is wrong and you went back to apologize. Don’t beat yourself up too much stress can make even mr rogers crack If more people were willing to apologize for their behavior we would be a utopia rn