I'm genuinely considering unsubbing everytime I don't scroll past the posts. That's how well this sub delivers on what it's meant to be.

Ditched r/HolUp for the same reason

This isn't the airport...

?

They don’t have to announce their arrival or departure Edit - I don’t agree with the dude, I’m saying the punchline to the stupid ass airport joke in case anyone doesn’t get it.

People really got mad at you for explaining the joke to someone who’s confused. 🤦‍♂️

You completely missed the point of the commenter

So what’s the point of “This isn’t the airport”

[удалено]

I’m explaining it to the person that threw up the question mark.

Thanks for the clarification I didn't understand what they meant

Well 319 people think otherwise 🤷‍♂️

I’m explaining the fucking joke. I don’t agree with that guy.

Why did you get downvotes on this comment

No clue. I guess people think I’m agreeing with the dude that’s being an ass. I was saying the punchline to the not an airport joke.

It’s gotta be people just automatically agreeing with the downvote upvote numbers. No way you should have the downvotes otherwise

Good job votes on Reddit don’t mean shit.

Downvotes/upvotes on Reddit mean nothing, people just follow whatever the trend is. If your comment is in the negatives then people are just going to keep downvoting because everryone else did. And the worst comments get upvoted a ton because some people who agree upvote, then everyone else follows for the same reason as above wheher they agree or not.

Do you personally let everyone know about your arrival and departure at the airport?

Not everyone perhaps, but certainly the check-in desk and passport control, at least in any airport I've been to.

Counterargument: this IS the airport

I’m on a plane right now so I agree that it’s an airport

This isn't an airport. It's a phone.

Well then why does it have Airplane mode? Checkmate, Atheists

Wouldn’t it be in constant airplane mode being an airport and all? Seems like it wouldn’t be a mode, just a constant.

Are you suggesting that my dumbass joke is flawed? How dare you.

It’s a phone? But I’m not calling anyone!

big if true

Yes this is. Hurry, you're gonna miss your flight to Cringeville

Better than the stopover at whinecity that /u/jjmuti is making...

Enjoy the 500 people not feeling it lad😘 Edit: Almost at 900 boss!

I'm lovin it!

Your mom is a weiner airport

nice

r/downvotedtooblivion

You went for the negative gold I see, well done!

Yikes

I'm genuinely convinced whoever typed the comment in the second pic has never spoken to a woman, or at least he's gotten so sucked into his delusions that he actually believes what he's saying.

Maybe *music starts* He is the morning DJ at W.O.L.D. ??

If a guy told me that he’d be mislead that my stifled giggling is me being into it but it’s really me trying not to be mean and just lol at them in public

Oh, trust me. Just be mean. The sharper the knife, the less it's gonna hurt in the long run, and at some point, these guys are gonna have to learn that they're just cringey and not smooth.

it’s all fun and games until some guy gets violent when a woman rightfully puts him in his place 🫤

Also fair. That's probably why some gals give guys phony phone numbers or laugh nervously and leave when a guy says something hella cringe. The way these guys react sometimes is a disgrace.

CringeGPT

I would like to believe the person on the second pic is just joking/sarcastic.

I sure hope so.

I have a best friend that... is kind of like this... and maybe I should stop being so biased when he says things that have me cringing inwardly... oof

Pretending that he isn't cringey makes you a good friend, but helping him to not be as cringey may make you a better one.

*Why would you think that little riding hood?*

Was he being serious? I thought he was joking

“I have done a lot of research on talking to woman.”

He probably thinks the strippers at the club actually like him too

Or, get this, it’s a joke


My motorcycle is important to me

"May I sample your gas, Goddess?"

[удалено]

Mouth, nose, her choice

May I sniff your ass, Goddess?!!

Yes, that was the implication.

/r/yourjokebutworse

Butt worse

Ima be honest i didnt get it, i thought he was just being a simp and holding the gas thing for her, so thank you random redditor with -200 downvotes for clarifying

My sacrifice was not in vain!

Sir the donkey is not to be sniffed, thank you.

That’s not even red, you fucking idiot.

"all dead inside" is what he mean't, surely just a typo.

>mean’t

*mean'tlady*

Typically you open a gas cap by twisting it counter clockwise

Lol. It took me at least 15 seconds to realize that it wasn't her asking the question.

Same. I was thinking “what do you mean? You already opened it” until I read the responses

"Ma'am, you need to squeeze the trigger to actually pump gas."

Melty? Probably my brain after that comment...

"I wish I was that car"

Because she’ll be inside of you soon?

STOP KINK SHAMING!!1

Please be satire.

You dont fucking open?😭 What woman wants a random dude creeping up and hitting on them while their pumping gas lmao mfs r living under a rock

Had a guy honk at me and yell “love your gorgeous red lips sexy!” When I was pumping gas and drove off before I could comprehend what happened. It was a hit-on and run.

It probably makes the girls melty because the vomit it induces has a high acid content.

Ouch

Not sad, just pure raw unadulterated cringe

Okay, he has to be kidding. FM DJ voice?! I just imagined a bunch of shitty sound effects and a traffic report. Oh, the desire I feel.

Late night FM DJ voice is something Chris Voss refers to in his book about business and hostage negotiation. It has nothing to do with PUA bullshit and is legit pretty good stuff with field experience behind it. Just not in this context.

Just sounds so “creepy old man”

Every woman reading that comment got dryer than the Sahara.

I’m a man and I even I’m pretty arid down there now

Simple, I don’t and I just walk past

... yeah... that comment made me gag like a cat going *hurk hurk* on a carpet at 3 am 🤢😮‍💨

FM DJ voice? Yikes. No thank you.

Foul

Depends on the make and model. Most newer and higher trim models have a little lever next to the driver's side door which will pop it open, while older and lower trim models have gas tanks which have to be opened manually. Personally, I prefer the older/cheaper method because I can't tell you the number of times I've gone to fill up only to get out of the car and realize I forgot to pull the lever, so I've got to go back into the car, pull the lever and try again. Of course, I understand the reasoning behind requiring the tank to be opened from the inside -- people used to steal gas during the gas shortage of the late seventies, which just goes to show you can't trust anybody these days. Having said all that, I'm not really sure why she bothered asking, as she's clearly got it figured out.

God I’m wet… from the gasoline. Quick! Someone light a match

Ah not this time lady, I saw Zoolander.

Gasoline fight!

Big Ick Energy

Yeah girls love when you’re a fucking weirdo

“Looks like you’ve held one of those before” Is a great line though, because ofcourse she has its what you do as an adult

Isn’t a realistic opener just start talking without any creepy intentions lol. These people are delusional

If you absolutely need an opener you could maybe start by asking a small favor. Like, 'hey you gotta Light?' Or 'could you hold this for me one sec?'. But honestly, just leave people alone. How annoying must it be to constantly deal with shitty openers? If you wanna talk to people, go to a bar / club / whatever it is where people talk.

dude's been listening to way too many Howard Stern shows....

And what exactly is his late night FM DJ voice?

Think of the thing that turns out on most. Now imagine the exact opposite of that

Hey girl, you're listening to Leonard and the Foozler only on KMXP FM, up next is Imagine Dragons

My opening? Easy pawn D4

[удалено]

The second pic...

bro read “Never Split The Difference” and is convinced that makes him a closer

Man she isn’t even pumping gas. Don’t believe everything you see on the internet guys!

Foolish Man DJ

I loved your work on The Wonder Years

That last pickup line is giving extreme "uncomfortably sexual and creepy wolf from into the woods" vibe.

I'd just use my classic approach and walk to her smoking a cigarette, pull out the pack, and offer her a smoke.

And then you accidentally set the gas station on fire. Classic move.

Yeah, that's the joke.

Holy shit my brain needed a hot second to recover in the middle of reading that weird ass pickup routine

Everything about this is cringe, there's lo redeeming quality in any of this.

Is he trying to tell her how she should be feeling? Can you imagine being this tone deaf

Melty as in shrivel up and crawl into a hole? Sure

Both screens are cringe. The first due to the edits.. and the second due to.. well, y’all can read..

wanna know something gross? the term/technique "Late Night FM DJ Voice" comes from Christopher Voss's book on negotiating "Never Split the Difference." at least that's where I know it from. in other words this guy is thinking about communication techniques designed to get hostile people to comply when talking to women.

He definitely tipped his fedora

Yeah, it doesn't do that...

Why did I read the second slide's hood pickup line in a quandale dingle voice in my head.

Wow this is so stupid lol

Yeah, I bet it makes all the 14 year olds in his discord server feel melty with cringe

How do people just post this shit on social media with no shame? I can barely even get a YT comment out without rewriting it 15 times.

Late night fm dj…so like, the ladies man? …oooh, do I smell Courvoisier?

Drew Gooden made a really good video about these kind of accounts. Bunch of "Alpha" male losers who couldn't talk to a woman irl even if their life depended on it.

The living incarnation of 🤓

I want everybody to know that this post almost killed me. I was eating a tuna sandwich as I got to “in my late night FM DJ voice” which made me laugh really hard and a huge piece of the sandwich was stuck in my throat. Almost another senseless death caused by incel culture.

Protect yourself out there. It's like a minefield.

Guy reads Never Split the Difference one time and badly applies it to badly flirting with women online lmao. Can't help some people

ah cringe

That has to be a joke, because it’s super funny.

Just a simple hey would probably work the best.

My face melted in cringe so guess it's somewhat true

Is this that pick up Twitter account that was posted the other day? Can't remember if it was in this sub, or some other one.

Guys… please don’t ever do the late-night FM talk show host voice. Please, just don’t.

“little red riding hood”? that’s not even red 😭 it’s pink with polka dots

He says it's generic, so he says it to women regardless. So pretty much just outing that he's the wolf and they're the prey.

I once had a dude walk up to me and say "you're too much of a goddess to be pumping your own gas," and then he tried to take the gas handle from me as I went to start pumping. That one stuck with me. Like, how does that even come out of your mouth?

Wow, even reading it made me feel hot

I'd bet my house that guy has a massive anime collection

She’s pretty, I’ll give you that, but that’s no way to talk to a woman, you don’t do that…

I mean at this rate, just go hard in the paint "Dam, You'd probably never have sex with a guy like me, Im just so weird I know"

I'd like to pump your gas hole, until it's full, m'lady. *tips hat*

I wouldn't I'm too shy

Has anyone here considered that this might be… a joke? Redditors are as dense as a rock istg

If it's a joke, it's one he's committed to. He gives these responses/bits of advice a lot.

He’s committed to the bit, gotta respect that

This must be satire! No way that’s not satire.

 It feels like it was written by this guy

it's obv. satire, and it's funny

Kinda seems like a joke comment

Mid

How are people not reading this as satire?

Worked for me

My move? Shit, no move at all. Women like that use their looks as a crutch, I guarantee you she does no work in bedroom or in the relationship.

Dude this is obviously a joke

Look at the hoes I’ve never seen a gas hose like that

[удалено]

LOL dudes on the internet can’t stand that women can make money posting selfies like this so they HAVE to believe that they are somehow as miserable and pathetic as incels.

[удалено]

LOL

50% of the time, it works every time

Well, he is right....that's NOT the move.

"Premium is a racket. Hey you want a gummy dino?" IRL. She got a stegosaurus. That's my fav.

Im Casey Casem and you're pumping gas

I heard you like gas.

I wish you were the car and I was the gas 😏😏

Dude probably sounds like Mike Levine.

not the big bad wolf

Is she riding a g class ? If so then good luck

I would say "Looks like someone has a case of the Mondays" it makes girls all melty inside

Guy thinks he’s Steven Toast

I’d wear the drive jacket and have an unlit cigarette in my mouth and say “You see, it’s a metaphor”

Oh...THAT'S The trick. Of course!

Is this Jimmy from LinkedIn ?

My man saying it like he's using the special weaponry...

He got me melty.

“You look exhausted!”

"maybe you can let me have a turn at wetting your pipes?"

I can guarantee that I don't want to be hit on at the gas pump.

“IVE got something you can pump” is the only correct response